01x05 - The Tooth Hurts/The Middlemost Toast

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Once there was a captain, he was a serious dude ♪

♪ Well, he crashed into a mountain ♪

- Whoops.

- ♪ Man, it lightened the mood ♪

♪ Speaking of lightening the mood ♪

♪ Speaking of thunderous joy in comes Parker J ♪

♪ A raincloud looking for new employ ♪

♪ The beardful captain said, "Hey" ♪

♪ The cheerful raincloud said, "Hi" ♪

♪ They started working together ♪

♪ What a magical sight ♪

♪ The Middlemost Post ♪

♪ Ahh, ahh, ahh, the Middlemost Post ♪

♪ Ahh, ahh, ahh ♪

[seagulls cawing]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hmm. [roughhousing noises]

- [grumbles]

Can you two find something

a little less rambunctious to do?

- Sure thing, Angus! You hear that, girl?

Angus doesn't want us to play hot potato cannonball anymore.

- [barks]

[metallic clang] - Ooh!

- We can play fetch instead! - [flippers flap]

♪ ♪

- Go deep, Russell! - [bleats]

♪ ♪

[dolphin clicks]

- [squeals]

♪ ♪

- Tooth overboard!

♪ ♪

I got it.

- [squawking]

[squawks]

- I don't got it. Aww.

I'm sorry I lost your tooth, Russell.

Me and my stupid cannon of an arm.

We still buds?

- [grunts]

- Ha! You should see yourself.

You look hilarious!

Whoops. Don't worry, I got you.

Hmm.

That should do it.

[gasps] No, no, no!

What's happening?

[dramatic music]

[electronic beeping]

[alarm blares]

Oh, my cloud.

I broke Russell.

- Parker, can you come down here please?

- What do I do? What do I do?

You wanted to see me, Angus?

- Awful lot of noise up there on the deck.

You know why I asked to see you?

- Uh, birds are jerks?

- I suppose some are. - [squawks distantly]

- Don't worry.

We won't invite them to our state of the art,

exclusive, cardboard clubhouse!

- Clubhouse? - Yeah. [laughs]

I even mocked up some pretty spiffy blueprints.

I even cleared my whole day, just for me and you.

- Me and you?

Building an epic, cardboard clubhouse

with blueprints and no birds?

- [squawks distantly] [thumping upstairs]

- What's Russell doing up there?

- I'll be right back. Stay here. Don't move.

[balloon squeals]

[loud thumping]

Oh, no, no, no. We can't let Angus see this.

- Parker! Hey, Parker!

- We've gotta get you outta here, girl!

[sizzling]

- So many meats, and only so much stick to stick it on.

- Lily! I did something.

I need to fix it, but I can't fix it.

Can you fix it?

- Fix what?

[dramatic music]

That's not good.

- Hey, hey. My mail!

- I know! I lost Russell's tooth!

And now, she can't keep the mail down.

Please say you can make a walrus tooth.

- I can make a walrus tooth. - You're a lifesaver, Lily!

- Should only take three to four weeks

to have a walrus shipped to the store.

- But I need to fix this now before Angus finds out.

We can't deliver mail

if Russell keeps throwing up the mail.

And if you haven't noticed,

delivering mail is kind of a big deal for Angus.

- Shh. Say no more.

[upbeat music]

- You're a life saver, Lily!

Maybe we should pack something less delicious

to cram in there?

- Agreed.

[dramatic music]

[laid-back music]

- Wonder what's takin' Parker so long.

You don't think the little nimbus was put off

by the blueprints, do you?

I mean, a good plan is a good plan.

Ah, Angus, you have fun, you don't plan fun.

I'm gonna try this again.

- There's gotta be something around here

we can replace Russell's tooth with.

[energetic music]

♪ ♪

[bagpipe honks] [dog barks]

♪ ♪

[bells jingle] [pins crash]

[bell rings] [glass shatters]

♪ ♪

[record needle scratches]

- I have to get back to my kids.

both: Mommy!

both: Aww.

[dramatic music]

[birds singing]

- Where are we gonna find a tooth like Russell's?

That's it!

The solution has been right in front of our eyes

the whole time!

[chuckles] See?

You can't even tell the difference.

- Parker, there's a problem. - Oh, okay.

Yeah, yeah, that was dumb. Mm-hmm.

- No, not your horrible idea.

It's Angus. He's headed this way.

- [yelps]

- Hi, Lily. Have you seen Parker?

- Yes. Right there.

- Play it cool, girl.

- [grunts loudly]

- I'm looking for Parker, not Russell.

- I know.

- Hmm.

- [squeaking nervously]

[suspenseful music]

Okay, I get it.

Parker's your friend and you don't wanna tell me.

That's fine.

But if you see the kid, make sure to say,

"I scrapped the blueprints.

The new plan is..." [inhales deeply]

"There is no plan.

"I'm chill. Ha! I can go with the flow.

Dude."

- Okay.

- Nice work, Lily.

- Before I forget,

Angus wanted me to tell you he's chill

and is okay with the concept of going with the flow.

- What's that mean? - I have no idea.

- You really think this place

will have a replacement tooth for Russell?

- I do.

It's full of cool stuff your parents don't want you to buy.

- How come? - It's kind of a gray area.

both: Whoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo!

- Boy, the Gray Area sure is awesome!

- I know.

- Lily! We forgot to get Russell a tooth!

- Oh, yeah, guess I was blinded by all the k*ller deals.

- No!

[dramatic music]

- I mean, if you don't wanna hang out, just tell me.

Pfft. I'm a grown man. I can handle it.

You know, it's the-- it's the not knowing part

that hurts the most, you know what I mean?

[munching]

- You live with a cloud? - Huh?

- Go, go, go before he sees us.

- What in the world? Parker!

[energetic music]

- Oh. Hey, Angus.

Where you been? - Where have I been?

Parker, what happened to me

and you making that cardboard fort together?

To be honest, I kinda thought you'd be more excited about it.

- I am excited about it.

It's just today is-- it's not a good day for me.

- Well, how come?

- Because...

because I'm already making a cardboard fort

with someone else.

- You are? With who?

- With, um...

Mayor Peeve and Ryan?

- Really? Those two?

- Yeah, and they're kind of expecting us,

and I don't wanna keep

a couple of cool dudes like that waiting.

So I'll see you back at the ship.

- Yeah-huh. The doctor called the mole "suspicious."

He's sending it to the lab today.

- There's nothing to see here, see?

- Why do you insist on telling me these things, Ryan?

- Quick! - Whoa!

- Pretend like I said something funny.

[laughing loudly]

[downbeat music]

[laughing loudly]

It worked! He's gone.

So what were you guys talking about?

- Ryan's suspicious mole. - Awesome. I love moles.

- Yeah, so we love you too, Parker.

- Here's your toast, sweetheart.

- Is it extra soggy?

- It's been sitting in a bowl of water for three days.

Can't get much soggier than that.

- Thanks, Pam.

[soft pleasant music]

♪ ♪

[munching]

- Everything all right, hun? - [gulps]

Have you ever had someone

order the same piece of toast every day,

then out of the blue, order something completely new?

And you're left to wonder,

"What was wrong with the old toast?

Did that toast do something wrong?"

- You can just say you don't like the toast, Angus.

Jeez.

- Hey!

Oh. Hi, Ms. Pam.

Disregard my aggressive, "Hey!" [chuckles]

- Parker, what are you doing in my garbage?

- Not looking for a walrus tooth,

if that's what you're thinking. - [yowls]

- What sad sack ordered the soggy toast?

- That would be your friend, Angus.

He's in there right now sad sacking it up.

- Angus is in there? And he's sad?

- You tell me.

- [slurps]

That's the saddest toast I've ever tasted.

- [meows sadly]

[downbeat music]

- Hi. - [barks softly]

- How was the fort building with your new...friends?

- There was no fort building.

- No fort building? - No fort building.

I've been hiding from you today because of something I did,

something real bad.

I ruined the Middlemost Post.

- Parker, you can't ruin the Middlemost Post.

- Trust me, you can. [sobs]

I lost Russell's tooth playing fetch,

and now she can't keep her mail in her tummy!

[alarm blaring]

[downbeat music]

See? I ruin everything! [thunder rumbles]

[crying]

♪ ♪

- Uh-huh, uh-huh. Yep. Uh-huh.

♪ ♪

- [barking]

- [crying] Oh, no!

- Cute Baby Dougie! - [cooing]

[giggling] - Oh, no!

- [giggling]

- [crying]

- [laughing]

- Why are you laughing? It seems kinda mean.

- Oh, Parker.

All day long, I worried

that you didn't want to hang out with your old pal Angus.

That maybe I said or did something

to make you not like me anymore.

- That's stupid.

- It's almost as stupid as losing Russell's tooth

and not telling me about it.

- But without that tooth, we can't deliver the mail.

- I know.

That's why I keep extra walrus teeth in Russell's trunk.

- Russell has a trunk?

[switch clicks]

[fanfare]

- Kiddo, I can replace a tooth, but I can't replace you.

[upbeat music]

- [barks affectionately]

- You two are gonna clean all this up, right?

- [squeals excitedly]

[crickets chirping]

[upbeat music]

- Good morning, little nimbus.

- Good morning, Angus.

- [giggles] Guess what today is?

It's Free Toast Day!

- [yawns]

That's good, Angus.

- Good? Try great!

It's the one time of year

Ms. Pam cleans out her entire kitchen

and hands out delicious pieces of toast for free.

- Uh-huh.

- Well gosh, I kinda thought you'd be more excited, kiddo.

- Gotcha! I'm super excited, Angus!

I only pretended not to be

because I love seeing you excited even more.

[car horn honks] - That's Russell.

She's outside waiting on us.

We gotta get there early before the toast runs out.

- I can taste the free toast already.

Free toast! Free toast!

both: Free toast! Free toast! Free toast!

Free toast! Free toast!

[gasps]

[dramatic music]

- Next!

- So we just stand here now and wait?

- Nothing in this world comes for free, Parker.

- But you said the toast was free.

We did a whole chant about it and everything.

- Well sure, the toast is free, but you still gotta earn it.

And we earn it by waiting in line like everyone else.

Trust me, the suffering will make the free toast taste

even sweeter.

[gulps]

Don't forget to hydrate.

You need plenty of fluids to stand in a line all day.

- All day?

- Well, the Cotton Candy Dandy Toast is a real crowd-pleaser.

Fingers crossed there's a few slices left, Russell.

However, you'll never catch me turning down a freshly-toasted

[slowing down] Pickled Pumpernickel,

that's for sure.

[very slow motion] But rumor has it,

the Cinnamon Pot Roast Toast

is back on the menu.

Oh, look alive, g*ng. The line's moving.

- Phew. Good thing I didn't go into that white light.

Bring on the free toa--

[birds singing]

- Well, if it isn't the fine crew of the Middlemost Post.

- Mayor.

[gasps]

[dramatic music]

- Mm-mm!

Ms. Pam really went all out this year for Free Toast Day.

Just listen to that scrumptious crunch.

- How'd you get your toast so fast?

- Simple, Cloud.

I told Ryan to wait in line for me.

Five days ago.

- You would think the hardest part

about standing in a line for five days

would be the cold and hunger.

Turns out, it's the

raccoon beatings that come late at night.

[screeching] [yelps and whimpers]

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

- [whimpering]

♪ ♪

- Oh! - No!

[downbeat music]

♪ ♪

[crowd gasps]

- My. Would you look at that?

Call me Mr. Butterfingers.

No worries. I have another.

- But--but that piece is mine, sir.

- You're confused, Ryan. The other piece was yours.

- [snarls] - [screams]

- You okay, Angus?

- I'm a-okay, kiddo.

Just feeling the pee pangs a little, that's all.

- Maybe you shouldn't drink any more water.

- Need to pee is all in the mind, Parker.

It's all in the mind.

[energetic jaunty music]

- Hey, man. What's everyone waiting in line for?

- Today's Free Toast day at the Middlemost Toast.

- I dig free toast. Mind if I scooch on in?

- Sure, Terry. - Get to steppin', Terry.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Had to try, had to try.

- Bye, Terry.

- Parker, there's rules when it comes waiting in line.

There's no back-sies, no take-sie back-sies,

no front-sies, no side-sies and definitely no cut-sies.

- Well how come they get to do it?

- Heads up! Cut-sies.

[jackhammer drones]

- Or them. - Ground-sies.

- Thanks for saving my spot.

[b*mb whistles] [expl*si*n]

- And those guys.

- Side-sies. Front-sies.

- Parker, just because someone else breaks the rules

doesn't mean we break the rules.

The Middlemost Post respects the line.

- [sighs]

- Aw.

Well, if you want, you can scout ahead

and count how many people are in front of us.

- Scout Trooper Parker J. Cloud!

At your service, sir!

- No butt-sies.

- , , , .

- Someone told me it was two pieces per customer.

- Two, three, four, five.

- At least it's not degrees out there like last year.

- , , . Hey, Lily.

High-five. Five, four, six.

- Don't look at me like that, Russell.

- I'm happy to report

there's only four people in front of us in line.

Wait, no. Three, four. There's five.

Angus, do you have to go to the bathroom?

- It's all in the mind, Parker. It's all in the mind.

- [screaming]

- I don't think that's where the wee-wee comes from.

- Ooh! Don't say wee-wee, Parker.

- Why can't I say wee-wee? You just said wee-wee.

- Stop saying wee-wee.

- Stop saying wee-wee for the whole week

or the whole weekend?

We don't want to make this worse, right, Russell?

[water flowing]

- That's it! I give up!

Angus, you big doof.

This was supposed to be the year.

The year you finally got your first taste

of the delicious free toast.

Well, you and your tiny, little, baby bladder

can kiss it good-bye now.

- All these years of going to Free Toast Day,

and you've never gotten free toast?

- Eh, the toast is usually all gone

by the time I get to the front of the line.

- But you follow all the rules.

- Just because you play by the rules,

doesn't guarantee you'll win, Parker.

If I go to the bathroom now,

I won't be allowed to return to the line.

- No spot save-sies? - No spot save-sies.

Ah, looks like another year

the big guy's gonna miss out on the free toast.

- It's not fair.

Year after year, our poor Angus has been denied the free toast

he so rightfully deserves.

We gotta do something about that, Russell.

Wait. When I was on scout patrol counting the line,

I heard someone talking about a secret line rule

that only a few special people know about.

- A secret line rule? - It's called a Potty Pass.

You're allowed to go on a tinkle one time

and keep your place in line. Mm-hmm.

- Hmm. You don't say?

Well, if this is a rule, and we've established

I'm a man who follows the rules,

then it would make sense for me to use this Potty Pass, right?

- Oh, total sense.

Russell and I will be right here

when you get back saving your spot.

- Thanks, Parker. Make way, people!

Potty Pass in play!

- What do you say

you and me make this line a little shorter?

While still respecting the line, of course.

[soft jazz music]

Free-er toast this way!

♪ ♪

[ice crackles]

♪ ♪

[screaming]

♪ ♪

- [squeals] all: Aww!

- Oh, my goodness! [camera flash whooshes]

- Parker? Russell?

- What's up, Angus? Back so soon?

- Well, I wasn't gone for that long.

How in the world did we get to the front of the line?

- I don't know. People just left.

- Quitters. - That's what we said.

- Next!

- Ooh, we're next, Parker. This is it.

I've never made it this far before.

You excited? - I'm super excited.

But I love seeing you excited even more.

- Next! - It's all yours, big guy.

[dramatic music]

- Yay! Free toast!

♪ ♪

all: Toast, toast, toast!

♪ ♪

- Congratulations, Angus.

You got the last piece of free toast on Free Toast Day.

- Eat me, Angus.

- [sniffs deeply]

♪ ♪

[pounding on door]

- Hey! That cloud and walrus tricked us out of line.

- Yeah, that piece of toast is rightfully mine!

- Parker, Russell, is what they're saying true?

- I'm sorry, Angus. - Parker, how could you?

- We wanted you to finally get your free toast

because you deserve it and we love you.

- [squeals] all: Aww.

- [barks aggressively]

[snorts]

- I don't deserve this piece of toast, Parker.

In fact, I bet if I took a bite of this toast right now,

it would taste horrible.

- You can just say you don't like the toast, Angus.

- It's not that. It's--

it's just that this piece of toast wasn't earned.

Ms. Pam, I would like to return this.

- But Angus, if you do that,

you'll have to wait an entire year for the next free toast.

- The suffering will make the free toast even sweeter, kiddo.

- But I can't take that piece of toast back.

You touched it, so it's yours. Let's not be gross.

- Angus, can I have it?

I think I have an idea that'll fix everything.

Hello, everyone.

I'm sorry I tricked you out of the line.

That was not cool of me, and it will never happen again.

Now, I only have one piece of free toast

because it's the last piece of free toast.

all: The last piece?

- Really?

- And because it's the last piece,

it's only right that I share it with each and every one of you.

One for you. One for you. One for you.

- What kind of bogus consolation prize is this?

- Yeah, it's not free crumb day, Cloud.

[angry clamoring]

- Parker, we gotta go. - And one for you.

[angry clamoring]

[thunder rumbles]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- I don't like this. - What?

Ugh.

- Just wait for it, big guy.

[angry clamoring]

Happy Free Toast Day, everybody!

[electricity crackles]

Free toast for you. - Wow.

- Free toast for you. all: Ooh!

- And you!

And you, and you! Don't forget you.

♪ ♪

Behind the buttocks, for you!

♪ ♪

[snarling]

[chainsaw buzzes] [yelping]

- [panting]

♪ ♪

[all munching]

♪ ♪

- [sniffs toast]

- Go on. You earned it, big guy.

[toast crunches]

[quirky laid-back music]

♪ ♪