01x13 - Premium Parker/Toast of the Town

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Once there was a captain ♪

♪ He was a serious dude ♪

♪ Well, he crashed into a mountain ♪

♪ but man, it lightened the mood ♪

♪ Speaking of lightening the mood ♪

♪ Speaking of thunderous joy ♪

♪ In comes Parker J., a raincloud ♪

♪ Looking for new employ ♪

♪ The beardful captain said, "Hey!" ♪

♪ The cheerful raincloud said, "Hi!" ♪

♪ They started working together ♪

♪ What a magical sight ♪

♪ The Middlemost Post ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ The Middlemost Post ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- One room, please.

- Absolutely, sir. No luggage today?

- Russell?

- [belches]

- Ugh. - We're on a family vacation

celebrating our anniversary. Tell her, Angus!

- It's true.

Today marks the day the little nimbus

floated into my life.

- Which was the best day ever.

We saved up all our money for this one vacation.

- Which fun-filled package would you like to sign up for?

For our top-end guests,

we have the Ultimate Premium Fun Package.

Very popular.

- Uh, uh. - Wow!

- [chuckles nervously] Um, uh, what about that one?

- Hm.

That is your Basic Fun Package, sir.

It's, uh, basic.

- Wow! - We'll take it!

Parker, pay the lady.

[crashing and clattering]

[relaxed music]

- Marco!

Marco! Marco!

- Woah! - Marco!

- [sighs]

- Your basic nachos, sir.

Where would you like me to set them?

- [chuckles]

Best family vacation ever.

I'd like to see someone do better.

- Help! Help! Oh, help!

Hel--oh, mmm, don't mind if I do.

Help! Help!

- [gasps] Man overboard!

Ah! Hot cheese!

Ow, ow. Hot--hot feet, hot feet!

I'm coming!

- Help! Somebody!

- Ahh.

- Mind gettin' your filthy biscuits off my towel?

- Tell my wife I love her!

- Tell her yourself, mister.

- I'm alive! - Blair!

Boo-boo! Are you okay?

- I am now thanks to--

- Parker J. Cloud. I'm on vacation.

- That big feller, he took my towel.

- Nice work, Parker. - It was no big deal.

- No big deal?

You're a hero!

We absolutely have to repay you.

- Clair! Parker J. Cloud

should be our guest for the day.

- Oof, I'm kinda in the middle

of a heated Marco Polo game right now.

Hey, Russell!

- Are you sure? We have a private cabana,

a peanut butter and chocolate fountain,

and DJ General Beats!

[airhorn blasts]

- That's all part of the Basic Fun Package?

- Oh, that's cute.

It's part of the Ultimate Premium Fun Package.

- Angus? Can I?

- Ah, I can't say no to a bonafide hero.

Go on! Have fun.

- Whoo-hoo! This is awesome!

- Alright, Russell. Cannonball!

- [squeals]

[splashing]

- I see your mini bottle of shampoo,

and I raise you one half-eaten pillow mint.

[door slams]

- Who wants some swiggity, swiggity swag?

- Hey, Parker. How'd it go?

- Oh, my cloud, Angus. It was a blast.

Blair and Clair have the coolest friends.

Boy, do they know how to partay!

And give away free stuff.

DJ General Beats would say,

and I didn't wanna let him down,

so I would scream!

Anyway, I am parched.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- [shouting in slow motion] No!

[fizzing]

- [gulping] - [grunts]

- Tired, Angus? Here.

This iced coffee should wake you right up.

- Frappe Kaching-o! Uh, Parker,

the items in the mini fridge cost a lot of money.

Like, a lot.

- Oh. Well, Blair and Clair only drink the water

with the funny bubbles in it,

so I didn't think it was a big deal.

- It's not like the biggest deal.

It's just that, well,

water from the faucet is just as tasty and free.

- Like swag. - Exactly.

So let's never, ever, ever,

never, ever, never open the mini fridge again.

How's that sound, buddy?

- [shouting] These were free!

- Another beautiful day of family vacay.

We can snorkel, play volleyball,

rent a canoe.

- I've always wanted to canoe with my boos.

- Then canoeing it is.

- Is that our little Air Bear?

- Clair Bear! Blair Bear!

- Check it P.!

We just rented a boat for water skiing

but one of our friends decided to bail.

Womp, womp.

- Was it Todd? I bet it was Todd.

That is such a Todd move.

- Would our cloud in shining armor like to join us?

- Uh, yes please!

- Hey, uh, Parker, uh, we had plans, remember?

- Oh, right. I guess I just got excited.

Not that canoeing won't be exciting.

Sorry, guys, I'm gonna play it low key today.

- Hold on a minute.

They say three people in a canoe

increases the chances of tippage by %.

You know, maybe it's better if you hang with your new friends.

Russell and I-- - Thanks, Angus!

Catch you on the flippity flip!

- Yeah, see ya, buddy.

The key to canoeing

is synchronizing your strokes, Russell.

Stroke, stroke, stroke!

Hm?

[upbeat music playing]

- Whoo-hoo!

- Hey, it's Parker!

Looking good, kiddo!

Why isn't it stopping? It's not stopping.

Abandon canoe!

[airhorn blasts]

[crashing] - Whee!

- Our Parker sure knows how to have a fun time.

[motor whooshing]

Ahh, nothing more relaxing than flying a kite

on a beautiful beach. Is that--Parker!

- Wee!

- Hey, not--

[metallic thud]

[airhorn blasting]

- Wee! Wee!

- Oh, yeah!

- Well, here we go again.

- Wee!

- Hee-hee!

- Yeah!

- [sighs] I gotta be honest.

This family vacay is turning out

to be a real stinker. [crunching]

Ouch!

[upbeat music playing]

[grumbles]

- Peep you fools later! [laughs] Todd.

What up, fam? What a day.

- Uh, Parker, what are you doing?

- Calling room service. Hello, yes.

I'd like to order one lobster tail and one lobster front.

- Wrong number! Phew!

- Hey, what gives?

- What gives?

Room service is expensive, Parker.

- But Blair and Clair let me order room service.

- Well, I'm sorry I'm not Blair and Clair.

I booked this family vacation

because I thought it would be fun.

- I am having fun.

- With Blair and Clair! Not me.

- Geez, Angus, I didn't mean to make you feel sad.

I don't have any plans for dinner if you wanna hang out?

But I'd understand if you don't.

- Of course I wanna have dinner with you.

- Then let's have a fun dinner!

I mean, it is the anniversary of the first day we met.

- Ooh, ooh! We can barbecue

chili cheese dogs just like we did then!

- Which was the best day ever!

- I'll get the coals burning. Come on, girl!

- I have a message for Parker J. Cloud.

- I'm Parker J. Cloud.

- An invitation to tonight's

Ultimate Premium Fun Dinner Party.

- Wow! For me?

- The event is black tie only.

We took the liberty. - Wow.

- Well, Angus, you really outdid yourself this time.

Looks just like the first day we ever met Parker.

Ah, hang tight.

I'm sure Parker will be here any moment now.

[rapid upbeat music]

♪ ♪

Hands off, buddy! Basic Fun Package only!

[deflated airhorn]

- [clears throat] I believe I'm on the list.

Parker J. Cloud. The J is not silent.

- Air Bear! - What's up best buds?

Why do you have your luggage?

- Clair's yoga instructor got a mouth sore,

so we decided to cut the trip short to be with her.

- But what about the Ultimate Premium Fun Dinner Party?

- If you've been to one

Ultimate Premium Fun Dinner Party,

you've been to them all.

Aw, it was a blast hanging out with you, Parker J. Cloud.

You are the cutest!

- Oh, and thanks again for saving my life.

Respect!

- Oh, yeah. I don't see you on the list.

- [sobs quietly]

- Man, this just got uncomfortable.

- [sighs] Okay, Russell, go ahead.

At least someone got to enjoy the meal.

Well, look who decided to finally show up.

- [sniffling] - Parker, what's wrong?

- Blair and Clair, they checked out and went home.

I got--I got ditched!

[sobbing]

- There, there, buddy.

I know that getting ditched by someone you care about

feels crummy. - How do you know?

- Parker, you ditched me.

We were supposed to have our special anniversary dinner.

Remember?

- [voice echoing] It is the anniversary

of the first day we met.

Oh, cloud!

I did ditch you! So you do know how it feels.

It's awful!

- Agreed. The worst.

- I'm sorry, Angus.

I never wanted you to feel crummy,

because feeling crummy feels crummy.

I ruined our family vacation, didn't I?

- Nonsense.

According to my calculations,

we still have one minute left on our Basic Fun Package.

I say we make the most of it.

How does that sound?

- Basically, awesome!

[exciting music]

♪ ♪

- Best vacation ever.

[exciting music]

♪ ♪

- Welcome back to "Toast of the Town!"

Middlemost's very own toast making competition.

We're down to our final three teams,

but sadly, there can only be one winner.

That winner will have their very own toast creation

featured on the Middlemost Toast menu.

- And we get to name it. - That's correct, PJC.

Winner gets naming rights to their award-winning toast.

You can go back now, Parker.

- Okay, bye, Ms. Pam!

- Let's meet our expert panel of judges.

- Hi. - These are the judges.

While our finalists are hard at work

toasting that toast,

let's take a closer look at our remaining teams.

[dramatic music]

Parker and Angus.

- Oh, boy, are we excited to be here!

Winning "Toast of the Town"

would mean the world to Parker and I.

- We eat at the Middlemost Toast, like, every day!

- Not "like every day," every day.

No one knows toast better than us.

- Well, besides Ms. Pam. She has a whole restaurant

that sells only toast, Angus.

- Well, sure, yeah.

I mean, besides Ms. Pam.

[dramatic music]

- Mayor Peeve and Ryan.

- There's no one I'd rather be in a toast competition with

than Mayor Peeve. - Oh, really, Ryan?

Then why did you try to

toast one of my hands?

- It was an accident, sir.

- Did you mistake it for a piece of sourdough, Ryan?

- No, Mayor. - Whole grain?

- Mm-mm. - Wheat? Pumpernickel perhaps?

- I'll make it up to you, sir,

by winning this competition.

- I don't care if I win, Ryan.

I only care that Angus loses!

Ow, my fingy.

[kissing noises]

- Fan favorites, Jelly and Russell.

[silly music]

Hmm, I guess some contestants

can coast by on their cuteness alone.

Now that we've met our fabulous finalists,

let's look back at those

who couldn't butter the bread.

Husband and wife, Blair and Clair,

made an early exit when they realized

neither had ever made toast before

or used a toaster.

- Somebody order a bunch of toast from Toast-mates?

- Brothers Rob and Rod came out of the gate strong

with an extra crunchy hot lava cinnamon toast.

Turns out they toasted a rock and not bread.

Naturally, they were disqualified.

- Bro, I told you that was a rock.

- Nuh-uh. Bro! Bro!

- You wanna go, bro? Bro!

- Get off me, bro. Get off me!

- Our friends from Greenwood made a bold choice,

choosing to only use recycled food

for their toast toppings.

It was gross.

We asked them to leave.

Contestants Reggie and Reggie

made some of the finest toast the judges had ever tasted.

- Whoa!

- This toast is simply divine.

[airhorn blasts]

- No words, man. None.

- They also creeped them out.

Big time.

- Hmm, not a fan of the aftertaste.

[deflated airhorn]

- You're standing really close, man.

- Let's take a peek at what our final teams

are toasting up.

How's it going, Angus?

- Real good, Ms. Pam, real good.

- Got our toast toppings, Angus.

[crashing]

Licorice, beef jerky, chocolate syrup,

jalapeño potato chips, mayonnaise.

- Woah, woah, kiddo.

We can't put all that on our toast.

- How come? You love all these things?

- Well, that's true, Parker, but it doesn't mean

they'll taste good all mashed up together.

- [chuckles] Oh, good one, Angus.

- I smell drama brewing.

- There's three simple steps to making a delicious toast.

Step one, toast the toast.

Step two, add toppings.

Step three, don't add too many toppings!

Oh, we're not gonna win this competition

with Parker going willy-nilly with the toast toppings.

- Angus, what happened to all our toppings?

- [gulps]

Uh, I don't know, kiddo.

- Ah, no worries.

I saw three-day old chow mein in the fridge.

We can put that on our toast. - [retching]

- I think it's going great!

- Ah, what's taking so long, Ryan?

- I'm going as fast as I can, sir.

It would go a little quicker if you, uh,

well, if maybe, if you helped.

- I would, Ryan,

but someone toasted my hand!

- You do have three other hands.

- You think I want my good hands

anywhere near you and a toaster, Ryan?

Just make the toast!

And make it better than Angus'!

- Toasting, sir.

- Now, this is an interesting approach.

Most chefs wait to sample their fare

until it's completed.

Not Jelly or Russell.

- Hmm, what do you think, Angus?

Anchovies or no anchovies?

- [gasps]

No anchovies, Parker.

- Ha, agreed.

Sardines it is.

Never in a million years would I think

I'd be making and naming toast

with my best bud in the whole world.

And call me crazy, but...

[whispers] I think we're gonna win.

Right, buddy? - [groans]

- Angus, I thought of the perfect name

for our winning toast.

"Burt toast," named after our friend Burt!

- Burt toast?

Parker, we can't call our toast "Burt toast."

- How come? - Because it sounds like

"burnt toast," that's why.

Nobody likes burnt toast.

- Geez, Angus.

He can hear you, you know.

- Wait, what? No! - Mm, drama.

[gasps] Toasters,

you have one minute left!

Countdown to unnecessary panicking starts...now!

- Oops!

- [clears throat] I'd rather not talk about

that final minute.

- Things got kinda crazy.

- [shouts]

- [gasps]

[airhorn blasts]

[egg blaster f*ring]

Ah! Ah! - [laughing]

- It's all a blur.

[screaming]

Ah!

[silly music]

Ah!

- Ooh!

- seconds left! Whoa!

- Ow!

I've been hit! I've been hit!

[coughs] The whole thing was stupid.

- Five, four, three, two, one.

Time! [buzzer blares]

- The good news is our final toast turned our super!

- [groans]

- You don't think so, Angus? - I'll be honest, kiddo.

I don't think our toast is gonna impress the judges.

- How do you know? You haven't even tasted it.

- A man knows these things.

- It's so bad you don't even wanna try it?

Even though we worked so hard on it

and had so much fun doing it,

together, as best buds, for life?

- Ah, geez, Parker.

I'm sure it's not that bad.

- Then you'll try it?

- Okay, maybe just a bite.

For you.

[tense music]

Well, slap my rear and call me Sally.

This toast is incredible!

- You mean it? - Absolutely!

Ha, I'm sorry I ever doubted you.

The judges are gonna love this toast.

We're gonna win this thing!

- This toast could be the worst toast that I have ever tasted.

- What did I ever do to you, man?

- Ah, what do they know?

I think it tastes great.

I can't wait to have Burt toast

anytime we want back on the ship.

- We can call it Burt toast? - You betcha!

- Will Mayor Peeve and Ryan

deliver the toast with the most?

Or will-- - Shh, they're eating.

- Oh.

- Mmm, two words.

Chef's kiss.

- We're doing it, Ryan.

We're going to b*at Angus.

- Oh, I told you, sir. I knew it.

- Ooh, man. This is the toast, man.

- Yes!

- [grunts]

[belches]

- Woah.

There was a ring in this toast, man.

I get to keep it, right?

- My ring? - Oh, no.

- This is a serious health code violation.

I'm afraid you're...

- Don't say it.

- Disqualified.

- No!

- Let's see what our final contestants cooked up.

Come here, Jelly! Over here, Russell.

[barking and panting]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Russell, Jelly,

you have what I like to call

the toast factor.

I am in the presence of greatness,

and that greatness is this toast.

[silly music]

- You went there, man.

Brilliant, brilliant-- [fork clatters]

[gentle applause]

[both snoring softly]

- I think we have our winners.

Where's the confetti?

- On it, Ms. Pam!

[all cheering]

How 'bout some fireworks?

- Uh, not inside, PJC!

[fireworks exploding]

[all coughing]

[exciting music]

♪ ♪