01x14 - Ariel Force One/Itsy Bitsy

[bunniefuu]

- * Once there was a captain *

* He was a serious dude *

* Well he crashed into a mountain *

* Man it lightened the mood *

* Speaking of lightening the mood *

* Speaking of thunderous joy *

* In comes Parker J, a raincloud *

* Looking for new employ *

* The beardful captain said, "Hey!" *

* The cheerful raincloud said, "Hi!" *

* They started working together *

* What a magical sight *

* The Middlemost Post, ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh *

* The Middlemost Post *

* Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh *

[exciting fanfare]

* *

[Parker grunting]

- Avast ye, Captain Blubberbeard!

You'll never get ahold of me golden doubloons!

Angus, is that how a pirate says it? Duh-bloons?

- Uh-huh. Sure.

- [grunting] - [groans]

- Ye lily-livered liar,

ye had a flipper under ye hook this whole time!

[Angus humming] Angus?

When you were on the high seas delivering mail,

did you ever run across a pirate with a hook hand?

Or someone pretending to have a hook hand?

- Parker, I'm kinda busy here.

[shimmering]

Look at that baby sparkle. Hmm?

- It's okay, girl.

Someday Angus will tell us

all about his epic, ocean adventures.

[dramatic sting]

Russell, I think he's reminiscing

about one of his grand adventures right now!

- Look out!

What in the Sam heck?

My ship! My beautiful ship!

Hmm. Hey, buddy!

Wanna tell me what in the world you were thinkin'?

[nervous groaning]

[ominous whirring]

- [groans]

- I was thinking, "Is that a boat on top of a mountain?'

Then I thought, "Pfft! No way, dudes. No."

[chuckles]

Turns out I was wrong. So sorry.

- You wrecked my ship, lady!

- Technically, I wrecked this one section of your ship.

You wrecked the rest, sailor.

[both giggle]

- Cool cloud. Cool walrus.

- I'm Parker J. Cloud. And this is Russell!

- Name's Ariel.

No middle initial. No last name.

[Angus groans]

- Where'd you come from, Ariel?

- I go where the wind blows, Parker J.

- Me too! You know, 'cause I'm a cloud.

- Respect.

- Can we maybe focus on how we're gonna get

your giant whoopee cushion off my ship, please?

- That's Angus. - He seems...fun.

Mind if I use your little girl's room

before we tackle all this?

- Oh, no, no. Take all the time you need.

In fact, let me fix everything.

You go ahead, kick back, and relax.

What? [sighs]

I mean, who in their right mind lets the wind blow them

willy-nilly all over the place?

I'll tell ya who. A crazy person!

- Guess what, Angus! Ariel's from Over There,

which is just past Elsewhere.

She's a world explorer and has been on a bazillion adventures.

- Oh. You don't say.

- She was knighted by a real queen!

She joined an alligator fight club

and lasted two rounds!

She once swam all the way

under an island and came out on the other side!

You should really hear some of her stories.

She's amazing!

- Ooh, "world explorer."

Yeah, been there, done that. Not impressed.

Right, Russell? [laughs]

You wanna go below deck

and listen to her stories, don't ya?

- [chittering] - Fine.

- That's when I grabbed the golden key,

backflipped off a baddie's face,

slid under the laser wire,

then walked away calmly as the whole place exploded.

Boom!

[Angus clears throat]

- So I found out what caused your balloon-y thing

to crash into my ship.

You ran out of gas! [chuckles]

It's okay. Rookie mistake.

Every world explorer makes them.

Eh, I'll fill you up.

- Hold on there, sailor.

Old Betsy doesn't take regular gas.

She's fueled by the Boom Boom Gas only.

- You're kidding. - What's Boom Boom Gas?

- It's a special gas that can only be tapped

from the ancient and elusive Kapow Tree.

- Kapow Trees? Well, we have a whole bunch

of those on the mountain, don't we, Angus?

- Yes.

Deep in Greenwood's Forbidden Forest

of Doom and Imminent Death, there are some Kapow Trees.

- Perfect, I'll be right back.

- Is she not the absolute coolest?

- [giggles]

- [grumbles] I'll go too!

- You sure about that, sailor?

Seems like you've been landlocked for a while.

Probably better if I do this solo.

- I wasn't always stuck on this mountain, you know?

I've had my share of adventures.

[both growling]

- [gasps]

- A'ight, cool.

- Oh-oh! Family adventure!

- You know you don't have to do this, right?

- Pfft, I was born for this. Watch and learn--

Whoa! - Angus!

[dramatic music]

- [screaming]

[groans]

- Ow!

Ahh! - [bird squawks]

- [screaming]

- [squawking]

- [screaming]

- Wow, you can fly?

- Let's not get too excited.

She can only fly straight down.

Follow me, I'll lead.

[grumbles]

[grunting]

- Um, excuse me.

Tarzan? Is there a reason we're not using that path?

It looks a little easier. - Easier, huh?

Okay, if that's your thing. [elephant trumpets]

Some people like to blaze their own paths, but whatever.

- Looks pretty deep to cross, dude.

We should probably play it safe and find another way.

- This way is just fine. Look, there's rocks.

We can just hopscotch across 'em, no problem.

- Ooh! I love hopscotch!

- See, Parker's not afraid.

- I didn't say I was afraid.

- Kinda feels like you're afraid.

Just do what I do. And try to keep up.

- Angus!

- [grunting]

- You saved Angus again!

- I would've gotten out. Eventually.

- Whatever you say, sailor.

- Hmm?

[Ariel sighs]

- Ahh!

[groans]

[gurgling]

* *

[panting]

- [grunts]

[snake hisses]

- The Kapow Trees should be, ooh, just around this bend.

- You said that four bends ago.

- No, it's the same bend.

It's just a really long bend.

- Parker, I think we're lost. - Oh, no.

Angus never gets lost.

I know because I've never seen him ask for directions.

- Aha! Kapow!

How you like me now?

- I'll give credit where credit is due.

Nice work, sailor.

In order to extract the gas from the tree,

you have to tap it in a very specific sequence.

- Or else what? - Kapow!

The whole thing will blow.

- Ah, step aside, coming through.

I'll do it. - It's gas for my balloon,

so it makes sense that I tap the tree.

- A balloon that crashed into my ship.

- Do you even know the proper sequence

of tapping a Kapow Tree?

- Duh. It's tap, tap, doink, tappity, tap, tap.

Everybody knows that.

- No, it's tappity, tap, tap, doink, tap, tap, doinkity.

- Nice try, ship-wrecker. Do I look like a sucker?

- Not one that I would lick!

- [sighs] Parker, Russell,

you might want to back up.

- Tap. Tap. Doink. Tappity. Tap. Tap.

Eh, sometimes it takes a while--ahh!

- Angus!

- Are you trying to get yourself k*lled?

- No.

- Then why am I constantly saving you

from doing just that?

It's getting a little boring, buddy!

Okay? Yeah!

And thanks for the no thanks that you keep giving me.

What is your deal, dude?

- I was jealous! Okay?

[sobs]

I saw the way Parker looked at you,

and I--I guess I wanted

the little nimbus to look at me like that too.

Like I was still some cool adventurer guy.

Aw, but let's face it, those days are gone!

I'm just the guy who crashed his ship into a mountain

and now delivers mail.

- But that Angus is the coolest Angus ever!

- [sobs] You're just saying that!

- Nuh-uh, all my adventures have been with that Angus.

And the adventures we do together

are always the best adventures.

- But we don't go on adventures.

- Hello?

Remember when you almost got eaten by a witch?

Or the time I didn't do all the chores

and the whole boat almost fell off the mountain?

- Yeah.

- Or that time I learned magic and tried to saw you in half?

Remember that super fun trip to the hospital?

- Yeah. Wait, what?

- My point is, this Angus, the one in front of me

right now, sniffling and crying like a little baby,

is all the Angus I need.

- Aw! Thanks, kiddo.

You know what?

I'm sorry, Ariel. Here.

- No. You should do it.

But you follow my lead. You dig?

- I dig.

- Ooh, look, Russell! They're making friends!

- Tappity. Tap. Tap.

Doink. Tap. Doinkity.

- Huh. How do you know if it work--

[expl*si*n]

- Ahh! [elephant trumpets]

- Sorry, Parker J., I had to do it.

- Totally get it.

You sure you don't wanna stick around a little longer?

- Parker.

I mean, you're more than welcome, of course.

- Aw, sorry, Parker.

Like I said before, I go where the wind takes me.

But who knows,

maybe the wind will someday bring me back here.

- Respect.

[exciting music]

* *

- Adventure awaits.

[horn blares]

- Bye, Ariel!

So I bet you wanna get back to fixing up the ship.

- It can wait.

Have I ever told you about the time a band of pirates

tried to steal my duh-bloons?

- They do say duh-bloons!

- Well... - Uh-huh?

- We're on the high seas. - Uh-huh?

- We're cruising along, it's a gorgeous day.

[dramatic music]

* *

[wind whooshing]

- It's freezing. - Hi, folks.

It's The Drizz here with your daily weather report.

Brr, it's cold!

It's so cold I can see my own breath, see?

[blows] [ice shatters]

- Russell, nails.

Parker, hammer.

There. Well, that ought to keep us

nice and safe from the blizzard.

Nothing's gonna get inside this ship.

- Or out! We're trapped!

- [laughs] Oh. Right.

- Just me and my best buds stuck together

for who knows how long.

This blizzard is gonna be the best!

- [laughs nervously] Ooh.

- I'll get the last one!

[teeth chattering]

Why, hey there, little spider. You look cold.

Boy, you made it inside just in time.

We're just about done battenin' down the hatchets!

- Ah! That's the last of it!

Now, who wants a big mug of hot cocoa

while we wait out this storm?

- Oh, oh! I do! I do!

Alrighty then, three piping hot cocoas coming right up.

- I think you mean four, Angus. - Four?

- Yeah. You forgot James.

- Who's James? - This is James! He's a--

- Sp--sp--spider!

[yelps]

- Um. Angus? Are you afraid of spiders?

- No.

- Then how come you screamed, "Sp--sp--spider!"

Then ran to the bathroom and slammed the door?

Uh, because I-- I had to tinkle.

It was a coincidence. That's all.

- Great!

Then James can hang out with us until the blizzard passes.

- No! I--I want that spider out of my sight, Parker.

Do you understand?

- I understand completely. Let's see.

Where can we put you so you're out of sight of Angus?

Hmm. Ah!

You can stay inside me! Problem solved!

- Parker, did you do what I said?

- Sure did, buddy!

You won't have to see James ever again.

- Phew. Now, where were we?

Oh! Hot cocoa!

- [yodels]

[upbeat music]

- [yawns] [smacks lips]

Good night, Angus.

- Night, little buddy. - Good night, Russell.

Good night, James.

- What was that? - [snores]

- Did the kid say "Goodnight, James"?

[snores]

[stomach grumbling]

Sneak a little peek in the old fridgeroo.

Get some yum-yum for the tum-tum.

[scared whimper]

Hmm. Probably all in my head.

Now where were we?

James!

[sighs]

[sputtering]

Ah, get it off! Get it off!

Whoa!

[straining, shrieks]

- Angus? Angus!

- Angus! Are you okay, Angus?

- Ahh!

James! That--that creepy,

crawly spider you found earlier.

It--it tried to eat me!

- He'd never try to eat you, Angus.

You're huge. You just had a bad nightmare.

- Ugh! I--I can still feel

his icky, sticky cobwebs all over me.

- What's that tattoo on your arm say?

- Uh, what tattoo?

I don't know what you're talking about.

- Friends don't keep secrets from each other.

Come on, let me see. - No!

- [gasps] "Top three fears.

". Failure.

". Small talk.

. Spiders"?

- It's an old tattoo.

I--I don't even remember getting it.

Forget it's even there.

- Angus, you're afraid of spiders?

But, y--you told me you weren't.

- [sighs] Fine. Yes.

A big, tough guy like me is afraid of teeny-tiny spiders.

There, I said it.

Well, it's actually my number one fear.

I was just too afraid to put it at number one!

- You didn't have to hide that from us, Angus.

We know you're a big old softy on the inside.

- Well, thanks, kiddo. But now you know why

I wanted James out of this ship and out of my sight.

- Right. Out of your sight like off the ship,

and not like,

living comfortably in a cloud condo.

- Parker, don't even joke about that!

If I knew there was a spider on this ship,

I'd pack my bags, leave, and never come back!

- [gulps] Good thing there's not.

Why don't you take a nice, warm bubble bath, Angus.

Calm your nerves.

- Well, uh, I mean a bubble bath does sound relaxing.

- Ahh!

James, I got some bad news, buddy.

We need to talk about your living arrangements.

James, where are you?

Oh, I love what you've done to the place.

Huh?

"Went on a hike. BRB."

Oh. My. Cloud!

James went on a hike! But where?

[upbeat music]

* *

- [humming]

[clattering]

Parker! What's with all the racket?

- Sorry, Angus!

Just looking for something, that's all.

Don't mind me!

- What are you looking for? - Oh, nothing.

- You know, Parker, when I lose something,

it usually turns out to be

right in front of my face the whole time.

- Angus, I don't think

you want this thing anywhere near your...

[gasps]

- Yodel-a-hee-hoo!

- Face! - What?

- Nothing.

- Listen, Parker, about earlier,

I--I want to apologize.

- Uh, uh, uh, okay.

- I overreacted. I guess part of me didn't trust

that you actually got rid of that spider.

I shouldn't have been so on edge.

And I didn't want to leave a bad taste in your mouth.

- No!

- You have every right to be mad.

I trust you. I know that spider is long gone.

[alarm blares]

- [gasps] So gone. So very gone.

- We still buds? - Yes!

- Uh, okay, that was different.

- Okay, James. I gotta sh**t you straight.

The big man is not a fan of spiders after all.

You've been a great tenant, but my hands are tied here.

I'm gonna need you to move out.

Don't do that.

Hey, what if Russell and I help you move?

I'll grab your stuff! Aw, cool!

Looks like you already wrapped up everything.

Good idea. You don't want your valuables broken.

[baby spider cooing]

We never discussed roommates.

[baby spider cooing]

You're a--you're a mommy?

- Parker! Who are you talking to?

- No one! - Whatcha got behind your back?

Parker, you said friends

don't keep secrets from each other, remember?

- I did say that. Okay. But please don't be mad.

- Are those mints? Well, don't mind if I do.

[Russell neighs] Mmm!

Boy, I love me a nice minty mint.

Ahh.

- Mama!

- It's okay, Angus. Don't panic.

[egg sacs popping]

[Angus shrieks]

- Spiders! Ow! Ow! Ow!

[grunting]

- That window is not gonna budge.

Remember, we're trapped!

- [screams] Get me outta here!

[ice shatters]

- Ahh!

Oh, get them off me! Get them off!

- What's wrong, Angus?

- The--the--the spiders!

Where are they?

- Spiders? What spiders? - James!

- Eh, never heard of this--what--eh--

what was the name you said?

James? Hmm.

Sounds to me like you had a nightmare.

- A nightmare? - Yup.

You were over there just knitting away

and you feel asleep.

That's when the nightmare probably happened

because that makes sense.

- Huh. Okay.

- Russell, are you okay?

- [grunts]

- Is there something in your mouth?

Then you won't mind if I take a little looksee?

Oh. Okay.

[spiders screeching]

[Angus screams]

- I'm sorry, Angus!

I didn't know where else to put 'em!

[Angus panting]

[dramatic music]

* *

James had babies.

And then James's babies had babies,

then James's babies' babies had babies--

- Get these spiders off my ship!

Now!

- [grumbles]

- Are they--are they all gone?

- Yeah. - Outside?

- Look for yourself.

[all whimpering, teeth chattering]

- [coughs weakly]

[spiders sobbing]

[Parker sobbing]

- Oh, boy.

[wind whooshing]

[Parker moans]

- Good morning, Parker.

- [sniffles]

They're gone! [sniffles]

I knew they wouldn't make it through the night!

- Oh, I don't know, I think they made it out fine.

- [sniffles]

It's a nice thought, but it's not true.

- Don't worry, Parker.

I know they're in a better place.

- How could you say such a thing, Angus!

- [groans] Not that better place!

[clears throat]

- [gasps]

James!

And her whole spider family!

I can't believe they all fit in this ship!

- Well, uh--

- [gasps]

Thank you, thank you, Angus!

Boy, it must have been super hard for you to collect

all these spiders knowing how afraid you are of them.

- Oh. [chuckles]

It was no big deal.

[screaming]

Come on, get in the bottle. [groans]