03x08 - Mall Brats

[bunniefuu]

[phone ringing]



No, Liz, Wakefield isn't here.

Sure, I'll tell her.

[phone ringing]



Oracle.

You have the German measles?

Who's gonna cover the big game?

What do you mean that's not your problem?

-Hello? -[phone ringing]



[ringing continues]



Oracle, please hold.

Oracle.

No, I don't wanna switch my long distance carrier.

Can I help you?

Hey, Cheryl,

this hat make me look short?

No, Congressman.

Liz Wakefield hasn't been here for days.

Sorry about the misprint.

I'll tell her you called.

Enid, I need your help.

-Sure. -The sport's photographer is sick,

and I've got to cover the football team this afternoon.

What do I do?

Just answer the phones,

take messages.

Don't touch anything.

What's this?

It's the layout for tomorrow's paper.

The printer will pick it up at five.

See ya.

[phone rings]



[sighs]

It's stuffy in here.

[phone ringing]



[ringing continues]



[theme song playing]



[vocalization]



♪ Look right down any crowded hall ♪

♪ You'll see there's A beauty standing ♪

♪ Is she really everywhere ♪

♪ Or a reflection? ♪

♪ One always calls out to you ♪

♪ The other's shy and quiet ♪

♪ Could there be Two different girls ♪

♪ Who look the same at ♪

♪ Sweet Valley Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you at Sweet Valley ♪

♪ Sweet Valley ♪

♪ Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you at Sweet Valley ♪

♪ Sweet Valley Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you at Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Sweet Valley Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you at Sweet Valley High ♪

-Hi. -Hey.

Hey there. Have I told you how incredible you look today?

[laughs]

You're in a good mood.

And why not?

Sydney Greenberg's research assistant

Travis is in traction.

Oh, my god. What happened?

He did a stage dive at the Green Day Concert

and no one caught him.

That's terrible.

Are you kidding? This is great.

Now Sydney needs a new assistant.

But, what about Travis?

Oh, he's fine, actually MTV caught the whole thing

on video,

now they want him as a VJ.

Once he gets out of the hospital.

That's good, I guess.

Don't you get it?

I was all bummed that our internship was ending and,

and this job opens up-- It's fate.

You know, I am really going to miss working with you.

Me too.

We'll still see each other.

Of course.

So, what time do you want to meet

for a late ride tomorrow.

Oh, I can't.

I've got to put my clippings

together for Sydney

plus I have to get ready

for his fact checking test,

which I hear is brutal.

-Oh. -I'm sorry, Liz,

but until I nailed down this job

I'm not going to have much time for anything else.

I've got to go to the library, there's a book I need for that fact checking test.

Don't want to leave my competitors to check it out first.

Liz, do you have a minute?

-Of course. -Do you mind?

An opportunity has opened up at the paper.

The research assistant position?

I should have expected you already knew.

You know, I have been very impressed with your work.

Peter and I have been working so hard here.

Thanks for noticing.

Actually, Liz,

It's your work I've been noticing.

You've all the makings of an excellent journalist.

I think you should apply for the position.

-Really? -Mm-hmm, I can't guarantee that you get it.

That's Sydney's choice.

But I'll put in a good word for you.

What, something wrong?

Sort of.

Peter is applying for this job

and it really means a lot to him.

Well, there's nothing wrong with a really healthy competition.

Hey, Lila. Do you know anything about this designer

"Tasty Toy"?

Tassez-Toi?

His clothes are to die for.

He's opening up a boutique at the mall.

[sighs]

My prayers have been answered.

Big deal, I'm not going to waste my time at some overpriced boutique.

It's probably a big waste of time

to tell you about the opening call on Saturday.

He's looking for new models for his Tassez Teen line.

We're perfect for that.

now we just have to convince Tassez-Toi.

What better way than to show up on Saturday

in a Tassez-Toi original.

Tassez-Toi Boutique, here we come.

Well, well. What a nice surprise,

Liz Wakefield working at The Oracle.

What's the matter, Mister Columnist?

Have you looked at last week's edition?

Um, of course. I approved it.

Then I guess this won't shock you.

What's wrong with this headline?

"Fight breaks out in Stud Hall."

That should say study hall.

And here's a dandy.

That's a new gorilla at the Sweet Valley Zoo.

Read the caption, Liz.

"Principal Cooper cheers the football team into victory."

Oh, no, I am so sorry.

I promise this will never ever happen again.

Well, I would like to believe that, Liz.

But you're not devoting enough time to The Oracle

to keep that promise.

So, Liz, where's the new "Stud Hall"?

Sounds like my kind of class.

Mr. Collins, I wanted to thank you

for finally acting on all those notes we put into the suggestion box.

[laughing]



You know, despite their joking,

the students here rely on the Oracle

and the Oracle relies on you.

I'm doing the best I can. It's just that

between my school work and The Tribune

-I haven't... -That's exactly my point.

You're going to have to choose, one paper or the other.

That's not fair.

Well, I'm sorry, Liz,

but it's not fair to The Oracle

if you can't give it your best effort.

Think it over.

I know it's not easy for you.

But I'll need your decision at the end of the week.

[indistinct chatter]



-Oh, my god! -Oh, my god!

One look at us in these dresses and Tassez-Toi will have to sign us.

Beautiful, aren't they?

Those are Tassez-Toi's personal favorites.

We'll take them.

Thanks, Lila. I can't bear the thought

of missing out on Tassez-Toi.

We are as good as signed.

New York, Paris, London, here we come.

I'm sorry, miss, but you're over your credit limit.

Over my limit?

That's impossible.

Goodbye, fame.

Au revoir, Tassez-Toi.

Too bad you girls don't work at the mall.

All employees get a % discount.

They do?

Well, we're not mall employees yet.

But, we'd really like to be.

Do you realize what working retail is going to do to my image?

We just need to keep up this charade

until we get enough money to get the dresses.

Then it's Cover Girl time.

Everyone will hate us.

I can just feel their envy now, like a warm blanket on a cold winter's night.

Sorry to interrupt this edition of teen talk time,

but Mrs. Adler,

someone who can actually pay for her clothes,

needs some assistance now.

[clears throat]



Mrs. Adler?

Girls, is this what the kids are wearing these days?

Am I down with the homies?

[laughing]



I'm so sorry.

This is the last time I drop

any coin in here.

You two are fired.

-Hand in your badges. -Fine.

We wouldn't work here again if you paid us.

That reminds me.

When can we pick up our paychecks?

Oh, get out.

What's his problem?

[phone ringing]



Liz Wakefield's desk.

Um, no. Liz just stepped away.

Um, hold. Let me write that down.

Yeah, no, I'm still here.

Okay, I'll give her the message.

"Dear Mr Greenberg, thank you for considering me for the research assistant position."

Unbelievable.

...how is everything in...

-Good, how are you? -Great, thanks. I really liked your feature.

Thanks.

Oh, my mom called?

Yeah.

When did you plan on telling me that you were going after the research job?

What?

Did you think I wouldn't find out?

Peter, it's not like that. Lucy spoke to--

Liz, you know how much I wanted this job.

You stabbed me in the back anyway.

Peter, wait.

I'm not gonna let anyone stand in my way.

Not even you.

This looks good.

Hold on.

Can we talk about last night?

I wanna explain.

You don't have to explain.

I was mad at first,

but I thought about it and I realized

I would have done the same thing.

You've got it all wrong.

I underestimated you, Liz.

I never knew you had that k*ller instinct.

I guess I figured you'd be content to go back to your little high-school paper.

Well, maybe you guessed wrong.

Fair enough.

May the best reporter win.

[indistinct chatter]



I think we set a new record for the shortest time holding a job.

Half an hour.

Not so fast. Remember that time you were a lifeguard

and you told that that little kid to go rescue himself?

You're right. That lasted minutes.

But I got a great tan.

All I know is that without those dresses,

Tassez-Toi will never know how perfect we are

for his new campaign.

I know without your credit card,

our only option is to go back to the mall.

-Goodbye, pride. -Goodbye, self-respect.

Hello, ladies.

Why the long faces?

We have to find jobs at the mall.

What was that? Speak up, I couldn't quite hear that.

We have to find jobs at the mall.

We have to find Bob in the hall?

We have to find jobs at the mall.

Hold on a second, I need a witness for this.

-Manny. -What?

Jess and Lila are trading in their...

fur collars for blue collars.

They're seeking employment.

May I suggest the food service industry?

There is so much pleasure in waiting on others.

No, I'm serious.

The smell of a girl declaring her dishes,

You could sneak up a leftover fry.

Oh, enough already.

We don't do food service.

But, what about, there's...

Case closed.

Only dweebs work with food.

I work with food.

You really aren't bright, aren't you?

The trick is don't try too hard to find the right job,

the right job will find you.

Howdy, girls!

I'm Pig Daddy.

Head hog here at Pork on a Fork.

You two ready to get started?

Oh, boy, those outfits seem a little loose on you,

but don't you worry about that.

Couple of pork pot pies will fix all that.

[laughs, grunts]



Didn't I say no to food service?

This is the only place left that will hire us and we need those dresses.

We've come too far to turn back now.

I don't think that I can make it.

-Get a grip. -Come on girls, let me hear you squeal.

Excuse me.

When you see this, you don't squeal,

they get a free meal.

[grunts]



[squeals]



the only bright side to all of this

is that nobody will ever see us.

Two bacon rolls, please.

[laughs]



And don't forget the squeal.

[squeals]



[groans]



Hey, Liz, I got the new Oracle, let's see what it says in here.

Oh, no. This is terrible.

"Rejected in Ridgemont" got left at the altar again.

It's the third week in a row.

I say give him one more chance and then move on.

Let me see.

Enid, I'm sorry.

This is my fault. I guess we ran this thing

three weeks in a row.

I should have caught that.

That's okay, but, um,

could you maybe make sure

there's a new one next week.

I'd hate to see "Rejected" get jilted again.

She's been through so much.

I spent three hours in the pouring rain to get a sh*t at the winning touchdown

and it didn't even make the paper.

That game was supposed to be incredible.

What pages did you write about?

The same page as my picture.

Where's the Mooger review?

I need to know whether to watch

Ruinator or Alien .

I can't believe that Liz at The Oracle would get this bad.

She even left out Winston's Wacky Wisecracks again.

That's the only thing they got right.

I don't even want to read this thing anymore.

"Boracle?"

Our weekend hell has finally paid off.

Where's my dress?

[sighs]



Here's my ticket to fame and fortune.

Where is it?

Where's my dress?

Well, if it isn't the two little piggies

who went to market.

Is that sausage I smell?

It was just here the other day.

The Tassez-Toi original with the organza inlay?

-Where is it? -Oh, yes.

You mean the sea foam gown with the chiffon wrap?

Yeah, that's the one. Now hand it over, bucko.

Oh, I'm so sorry. I already sold it

to Mrs. Adler.

What? No!

No, that was Tassez-Toi's personal favorite.

Oh, well, Lila, too bad.

-Ring me up. -Give me that!

Over my dead body.

Don't test me.

Give it to me. I saw it first.

[speaks in French]



Mind your own business, Frenchie.

[gasps]



[speaks in French]



It is ruined.

Oh, Monsieur Toi, I am so sorry.

You're Tassez-Toi?

But of course I am, you cautulus swine.

Look what you've done to my creation.

You have defiled my masterpiece with your cloven hooves.

I've already called security to have them removed, Monsieur Toi.

Monsieur Toi...

Je m'appelle Lila Fowler.

Please accept my apology,

for my friend's appalling behavior.

She's how you say,

sick in the head.

Maybe we can do brunch tomorrow before the open call

and talk about your new Tassez Teen line spokesmodel?

Look at her, she's a pig!

I'm the one you want.

I don't want either of you

near me or my wondrous creations.

Now go.

Go back to your pig pen.

You swine.

-Monsieur Toi... -Just wait.

There you are.

Which one of you forgot to turn off

the pig part pressure cooker.

Oh, fine, both of you come with me.

You've got a heavy debt to pay.

Do you know how much a pig part pressure cooker costs?

-[snorts]

-We'll pay for that

out of our salaries.

I'll take that...

for the dress you just destroyed.

Come on you little pork on a fork-alypse.

You've got some pig parts to scrape off the ceiling.

[snorts]



I'm glad you understand, Lucy.

It's just that The Oracle really needs me.

Well, if you ever need a recommendation just let me know.

Thank you, Liz, I'm sure you're going to do an excellent job.

Thanks for everything.

So now you and Lucy are best friends?

[sighs]

Peter, please.

I heard her promise you the recommendation.

What's the matter Liz? Scared that you can't land the job with Sydney

on your own merit?

For your information, I told Lucy

not to consider me for the job.

In fact, I just got done recommending someone else for it.

You.

I don't understand. You're...

you're not going to go for the job.

I'm going back to The Oracle.

I have plenty of time later for my career.

Wait, Liz,

I'm sorry. I guess I got carried away.

But you know how much journalism means to me.

You've made that clear.

But if you ask me, I think it means too much to you.

What are you talking about?

It's like nothing else matters to you anymore.

You let this job take over everything.

And now our relationship is ruined.

-Ruined? -Let me ask you something.

Was it worth it?

Don't go, Liz. I mean,

let's talk this over.

It's too late, Peter.

I think you'll make a really good journalist someday.

But for now,

you make a really lousy boyfriend.

[sighs]



♪ Look right down Any crowded hall ♪

♪ You'll see there's A beauty standing ♪

♪ Is she really everywhere ♪

♪ Or a reflection? ♪

♪ Sweet Valley Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you at Sweet Valley ♪

♪ Sweet Valley Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you at Sweet Valley High ♪