03x13 - Shakes, Fries and Videotape

[bunniefuu]

This is your old pal, Whacky Winston,

telling you to come on down to the Moon Beach. Woohoo!

We've got truckloads of beef out back.

So we're smashing prices on burgers,

fries,

chicken wings,

salads,

even shakes.

So do yourself a great big favor and come on down to the Moon Beach for...

a smashing good meal.

Cut. That was perfect!

Good, because that was the last one I had in me.

Not bad. Only takes.

Let's see the tape.

You're supposed to put a tape in this?

♪ Look right down any crowded hall ♪

♪ You'll see there's a beauty standing ♪

♪ Is she really everywhere Or a reflection? ♪

♪ One always calls out to you the other's shy and quiet ♪

♪ Could there be two different girls ♪

♪ Who look the same at ♪

♪ Sweet Valley, Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you at Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Sweet Valley, Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you at Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Sweet Valley, Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you at Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Sweet Valley, Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you at Sweet Valley High ♪

So, how are you and AJ doing?

Ah, incredible.

They're about to record their demo.

I know they're gonna be huge.

Please come again. Please.

-What's wrong? -Nobody eats at the Moon Beach anymore.

Mesquite Pete is k*lling me with this new steal-a-meal deal.

-Steal-a-meal? -Yeah, he's running back to back ads in public access.

You get a burger, fries and a shake for $ .

$ ! I'll take it.

Not here. Mesquite Pete's. Two block down on the left.

Hey, thanks.

Thank you, Jessica. Anymore of my customers you wanna drive away?

Nah, maybe later.

Come on, Winston. Everybody loves the Moon Beach. You'll be fine.

No, I won't. I need my own commercial.

I just have to find the right concept.

Here's a concept. Get me a refill.

That's it! Twins! Two for the price of one.

How would you two like to star in my commercial?

Forget it, Steven Spieldork. Public access is for losers.

See ya.

Okay, new concept.

One twin standing by a waterfall eating...

Moon Beach fries.

Um, I don't know.

Please, Liz. Do it for the Moon Beach.

Do it for me. Without this place I am nothing.

I am just a computer hacker, searching for love on the internet.

Help me, Liz. Please!

-Okay, Okay. I'll help you. -Yes!

[whispers]

Thank you.

Tomorrow I make television history.

-That was awesome, right? -Yeah.

Yeah, that worked.

I don't know man. That last chord still isn't tight.

-Sounded good to me. -Yeah, but you're a drummer.

-Hi. -Hey.

Great, the groupie is here.

Why don't you run out and get us some drinks.

Why don't you run out and get a personality.

-Ready to go? -Yeah, um.

Uh, let's call it, guys. We're... we're taking off.

Wait a minute. She shows up and you just bail? We still have work to do.

Look, I don't wanna overpractice.

Dude, we have a recording session tonight.

I know. I wanna go in fresh.

Yeah, man. Let's get something to eat.

[whispers]

Let's go.

You're two and a half minutes late.

Sorry, I was really hungry and the line at Mesquite Pete's was really long.

Traitor.

Look, the talent's gonna be here any minute. Everything has to be perfect.

-The talent? -Liz! Liz is the talent.

-Oh. -Okay, let's go over the checklist.

Where's the three-eighth inch coaxial cable?

Ah, sh**t! I left it at home.

Okay, how is the digital spectrum quarter?

-Huh? -Turbo grid power strip?

The what? Are you speaking English?

Never mind. Here's my concept.

Remember the tornado in the movie Twister ?

[helicopters whirring]



I thought you called the airport to reroute these helicopters.

I tried, but they just laughed.

-But don't they know who I am? -Hey!

[loud crash]



I can't create under these conditions.

Can I take my lunch break now?

[loud music playing]



Yeah, I can really go for a pizza.

-Pepperoni, extra cheese? -You remember?

This place is amazing.

Once my demo's finished, we'll hit all kinds of cool spots.

-So you excited about tonight? -Yeah.

You know, I think this new song is going to put us over the top.

I've already got the video worked out.

-Tell me about it. -Okay.

Well, uh. It starts out in a garage.

And, uh, actually, uh, it starts out with the record company

giving us the money to make it.

And, uh, until then it's just a dream.

[AJ]

Come on, let's get a table.

Hi. How is everyone's aura today?

Ah, fine. And yours?

In a peaceful dimension, thank you.

-Miss. -Thank you.

Today's specials are

grilles cactus bass,

seared Pete moss,

And post persimmon in a bok choy vinaigrette.

Wow. Touch choices. They all sound so, uh...

Gross? [laughing]



For your information, all of our dishes are prepared with chromium picolinate,

which helps the body maintain its natural essence.

Hmm, food for thought.

Um, we'll have...

[both together]

Pepperoni pizza.

[server]

Fine, I see some of us don't care about our bodies.

♪ Your face looks like A movie star ♪

♪ And I wanna know who you are ♪

♪ Would you agree to take a walk with me ♪

♪ Mister cupid's in a funny mood ♪

♪ And wait until he makes his move ♪

♪ Maybe we could walk along the sea ♪

♪ Sunshine and sunny days ♪

♪ Sunshine and sunny days ♪

♪ Sunshine and sunny days ♪

♪ Always makes the world seem fine ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Always makes the world seem fine ♪

♪ Always makes the world seem fine ♪

♪ Always makes the world seem fine ♪

♪ Sunny Days ♪

I had the best day.

-I just wish it didn't go by so fast. -Me too.

It's so hard to focus on the band, when all I wanna do is spending time with you.

I just wish my old man would quit hassling me about the family business.

There's no way you can spend your life running a restaurant.

Well, if we don't get signed soon, I won't have a choice.

I know you're gonna make it.

Once those record companies hear your demo, they'll be lining up at your door.

Oh, man! I was supposed to be at the studio an hour ago.

Now remember your motivation here, Liz.

You've been stranded on a desert island for seven years

and you can't wait to bite into this thick, juicy--

Enid, where's the food?

Huh?

You ate the prop food.

No, I didn't. It was a burger and fries.

Enid, prop food is food I use for a sh*t.

No prop food, no sh*t.

Well, can't you just make some more?

I am a director, not a chef.

Okay, I'll just run over to Mesquite Pete's and get some.

No, no. I have a much more important job for you.

It is critical to the success of this commercial. Can you handle it?

You bet I can!

Listen up. [whispers]



Okay. New concept.

I eat four plates of Moon Beach fries a day, and look at me!

That's because Moon Beach fries are cooked with % vegetable oil.

Did you know, Mesquite Pete uses animal fat?

It's true.

To eat, or not to eat?

That is the question.

But of course, I will eat, 'tis is a Moon Beach sundae.

We put the moo, in the beach.

[sighs]

I can't do this, Winston. I feel ridiculous.

[Winston]

Be the cow, Liz.

[breathes out]

It's really hot in there. Can I have a glass of water?

Sorry, my assistant is indisposed.

Where is Enid, anyway?

[dogs barking]



Excuse me. I am on a very important mission. Do you have a left handed smoke shifter?

No, but I got a glass eye.

[eye plops]

Wanna see?

Uh, could you tell me how to get back to Sweet Valley?

You can't get there from here, Missy.

[Enid screaming]



This is the one. The ultimate concept.

This better be the last one, Winston. I am b*at. I've had enough of this.

Hey! Sometimes you have to suffer for your art.

But when we're done with this, my name will be up there with all the great directors.

François Truffaut. Federico Fellini.

[in French accent]

Winston Egbert.

Now, no pressure here, Liz, but this one has to be perfect .

And action.

Mmm, look at all this food. It must be a Moon Beach value plate.

There's enough here to feed an army.

But, I am not in the mood to share.

[whispers]

Eat the burgers, Liz.

I can't.

Look, I know it's been a long day and you're tired.

Just eat the burger.

Please.

I don't eat meat, Winston.

I am a vegetarian.

Actors.

They're so temperamental.

[insects chirping]



Look, man. I said I was sorry.

What else do you want me to do?

I want you to get your head straight.

Ever since you met that chick, you've been screwing up big time.

-Her name's Jessica. -Yeah, whatever.

The point is, you're not writing new songs, you're cutting rehearsals,

and tonight you blew $ worth of studio time to be with Jessica.

Why don't you save it, Rick, all right. I know what I am doing. So just lay off.

-Dude, come on. I mean, we can work this out. -There's nothing to work out.

Look, AJ, either you stick with the girl or you stick with the band.

But you can't have both.

The choice is yours, man.

-[girls giggling]

-Hi, Haley.

[Jessica]

I am telling you, Lyla. AJ's band is amazing.

All they need is a really good video.

I wish I could help them.

You mean, you wish you could be in the video, right?

No, I wish I could help AJ.

Did you say you wanna help someone?

-Yeah. -And there's nothing in it for you?

Just the pleasure of helping AJ.

Stop it. You're scaring me.

-Hey, guys. -Liz, I am worried about your sister.

-What is it? -She's trying to be helpful.

Okay. New concept.

[sighs]

Not again.

The Garden of Eden veggie burger.

And you, you'll play Eve.

No, thank you.

Please, I only have the camera equipment for one more day.

Liz, don't be so hard on Winston. Maybe we can help him out.

There, there it is. She's doing it again.

[Jessica]

I've reconsidered your offer.

Liz and I would be happy to appear on your little commercial.

-No, we wouldn't. -Great! Tomorrow, am, out front. Be there.

Now, about my fee.

I knew there was a catch.

I need to borrow your equipment.

She's making a recovery.

I am making a music video for a friend.

And I am not gonna do your commercial, unless you give it to me.

Oh, thank God you're back. I have never felt so alone in my life.

A music video! Excellent!

Here are my terms. I am the director. I get complete creative control and--

No way! AJ runs the show, or there's no commercial.

Okay, fine. Forget this.

-Wait. -You called?

-Okay, you can direct. -And we film my commercial first.

Fine.

I think I got the bad end of this deal.

[Jessica]

Coming.

Hi! You'll never believe what I have to tell you.

Look, um, there's something we gotta talk about.

Okay. But, can I have a kiss first?

Now, what did you wanna talk about?

-Uh, nothing. Nothing at all. -Are you sure?

-Yeah. -Great! 'Cause you're gonna love my news.

We're gonna make your video! I got the equipment, the crew, everything.

Jessica, you're incredible!

You're not so bad yourself.

Now this is better. No distractions.

So, how did she take the news?

Well, I didn't exactly, uh--

Okay! Places everybody.

My name is Winston Egbert. Your director.

I am a very informal person, so feel free to call me, Monsieur director.

-What's going on? -Jessica and her friends are gonna help us make our video.

-Ah, cool! -Is this some kind of sick joke.

Jess tells me you're going for a very barebones motif here.

-But I have just a few stylistic suggestions. -Like?

Well, like first I am thinking a crane sh*t that starts at the ceiling,

and then swoops down to an extreme close up of you, pondering your existence.

-[garage door opens]

-What do you say?

[Rick]

Oh, man. Here comes another one.

Hmm, Scotland blue face paint Mel Gibson, works for me.

Here, put this on.

Oh, righteous! Plaid!

I love the color and it's so slimming.

And then death, dressed symbolically in a black shroud,

skips through the middle of the band.

AJ, you're not listening to this loser. He doesn't even know the song.

It's not about the song, my friend. It's about the art.

Now remember, AJ is the star. Focus on him. Don't worry about all those other people.

You, silly. There's no such thing as a left handed smoke shifter.

But I did find an all in one, AC/DC matrix powered converter.

Have you ever considered highlights?

Birtle, It's Lyla. Do you make emergency garage calls?

This is insane, man.

Get these people out of here.

-Why don't you just relax? -I thought we were clear.

I thought the girlfriend was history.

If you wanna go down in flames, fine. But I am not going down with you.

Good luck in the restaurant business, man.

I gotta deal with this.

Okay, new concept. Minimalist rock.

No bass player, no singer. No problem!

Okay, this ought to do it. [electricity buzzing]



[Enid]

Oops.

[Winston]

Okay, new concept.

[AJ]

Jessica, come on. Open the door.

[knocking on door]



-Jessica, listen. I didn't-- -Look, I know what you're gonna say.

So, I'll save you the trouble.

It's me or the music.

-Jessica-- -Just go.

You're making it harder.

Wait, I am not here to break up with you.

-But, Rick said-- -Rick doesn't tell me what to do.

I mean, if he wants to stay in the band, he just has to get used to having you around.

AJ, if you don't make it,

I don't want you to look back and regret the time we spent together.

I am gonna make it.

And when I do,

I don't wanna look back and regret the times we didn't spend together.

Just promise me something.

Anything.

No more videos.

Don't worry, my producing career is over.

Besides, I am much better in front of the camera.

♪ Ooh, these prices are a steal steal, get the double meal meal ♪

You'll think you're seeing double.

So, come on down to the Moon Beach, where the food is dee-licious,

and our manager is...

Babylicious.

I hate Winston Egbert.

Please tell me nobody saw that.

It's public access. I am sure no one was watching.

[phone ringing]



[phone ringing]



-Hello? -[people laughing on phone]



♪ Look right down any crowded hall ♪

♪ You'll see there's a beauty standing ♪

♪ Is she really everywhere Or a reflection? ♪

♪ Sweet Valley Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you at Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Sweet Valley, Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you at Sweet Valley High ♪