03x16 - Don't Stand So Close to Me

[bunniefuu]

Here you go.

[indistinct chatter]



Hey!

You cut me off, man.

-Yeah, so? -So, what's your problem?

My problem is, you drive like an old lady.

No.

Your problem is you think everyone's impressed

cause you drive a Mercedes.

[scoffs]



Well, they're not.

-How's the Mercedes, Chad? -Hi, Chad.

Hey, Chad. Come on, I got us a table.

[Chad]

You look great, Liz.

Todd... have you met Chad?

Yeah, we've met.

[theme music playing]



♪ Look right down any crowded hall ♪

♪ You'll see there's a beauty standing ♪

♪ Is she really everywhere ♪

♪ Or a reflection? ♪

♪ One always calls out to you ♪

♪ The other's shy and quiet ♪

♪ Could there be two different girls ♪

♪ Who look the same at ♪

♪ Sweet Valley, Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you at Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Sweet Valley, Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you at Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Sweet Valley, Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you at Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Sweet Valley, Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you at Sweet Valley High ♪

[indistinct chatter]



[Todd]

Lucky sh*t.

Don't tell me you're actually going out with this jerk.

He's not a jerk.

He looks like a jerk, he acts like a jerk,

he drives like a jerk.

Todd, are you jealous?

No.

Why should I be jealous?

I... I've got a date of my own.

Really? Who?

My! [laughs]



Right over there.

You're dating Kerry?

[Kerry]

Oh, my god! That was pretty good.

[Todd]

Are you jealous?

Please.

-Kerry, do me a favor, will you? -What?

Pretend to be my girlfriend and go along with everything that I say.

I thought you'd never ask.

Hey, Liz... hold it this way.

[Kerry]

This is great.

Here.

This way.

Thanks, Todd.

Boy, you're pretty good.

I guess, those tips I gave you really paid off.

-[Chad laughing]

-[Kerry]

Yeah.

What are you laughin' at?

Either she's really good... [chuckles]



...or you're really bad.

-So, Liz, how about a drive up the coast tomorrow? -Don't...

Sure.

Kerry, what are we doing tomorrow?

A ten-mile nature hike.

Ten miles?

Only ten?

-Can we go ? -Sure.

[woman on TV]

Let's check on Dr. Treadway.

-It's been three weeks now. -I can feel it.

Today's the day Dr. Treadway finally comes out of his coma.

[woman on TV gasps]

Dr. Treadway, you're awake!

I told you.

[man on TV]

Have you ever predicted something would happen,

and then it did?

Yeah.

Dr. Treadway's coma.

[man on TV]

Do you always know

what your friends are going to ask you?

Could you pass...

[man on TV]

Do you ever feel that you're special

in a way that nobody understand?

Yes! All the time.

[man on TV]

If you answered "Yes" to any of these questions,

then you're probably psychic.

-And you should consider joining psychic... -Oh, my god!

I'm psychic!

Yeah, right. And I shop at the bargain basement.

It's true. Everyone knows twins have special psychic powers.

Okay, if you're so psychic, tell me what I'm thinking right now.

You're thinking about...

shopping.

Lucky guess. Try again.

You're thinking about... [exhales]

shopping.

Okay, one more time.

You're thinking about...

I can feel you're trying to fool me.

You're still thinking about shopping.

Wow! You are psychic.

[screams]



[Cheryl]

Midterms are driving me crazy.

I studied all night for today's Trig test and I'm still not ready.

Too bad you're not psychic like me.

I'm gonna ace that test.

I never even opened up the book.

-Psychic, huh? -Exactly.

[inhales]

I see...

a big, red A on my test.

And I see a big, red F on your test.

Cheryl?

Cheryl, pick a number between one and five.

What?

Pick a number between one and five

and I'll use my powers to guess the number.

Leave me alone.

Afraid I'll get it right?

Oh, come no.

Okay. Four.

You're not supposed to tell me.

What's going on back there?

Uh-oh.

I see us...

getting detention.

I see a few people who want to get detention.

-[Lila laughing]

-Oh, that's it.

Ms. Fowler, you, Cheryl, and Jessica

report to detention after school today.

[Lila laughing]



What did I tell you?

Psychic! [giggles]



First ten miles are pretty easy.

Except for that stretch where that road disappears.

No problem.

What do you have in there?

Oh, just a few necessities,

you know, game board, beach chairs,

and our food, snacks and stuff.

Todd, you have travel light.

And you've got to pay attention to this map.

If I get ahead of you, you could get lost.

Lost? Me?

[scoffs]

I never get lost.

[birds chirping]



Where am I?

Kerry?

Kerry!

[echoes]



Kerry!

[echoes]



You guys here for detention?

-No, we're here for the pep rally. -Really?

I'm in here for talking. Can you believe it?

I was just telling Liz about how Uncle Ben converted to Buddhism

because he was going bald.

And from out of the blue, Mrs. Crabtree

comes and slaps me with detention.

It's not fair.

There's no justice in this system.

No justice at all!

News flash, Enid, life isn't fair.

I don't wanna be here anymore than you do.

Great. Let's go.

Sorry. We're here until five o'clock.

Thanks a lot, Jessica,

I'm missing my four o'clock kick boxing class.

[Jessica]

Don't worry.

I see, us...

leaving early.

-Quiet, please, I'm putting. -[Jessica sighs]



I see you...

missing it.

Hi, Chad.

Is this neighborhood safe?

I parked my car up front.

What's that bird doing?

-Um... chirping. -[sighs]

It's looking at my car.

Quick, let's get out of here.

Wait, I wanna show you something.

Hey, look. I picked out a route to take us by Hearst Castle.

-[rapid clicking]

-What's that?

Lawn sprinklers.

My car's getting wet.

I have to get those water stains off right away.

-Give me a shammy. -A what?

[scoffs]

Just give me your sweater. It is Cashmere, isn't it?

[panting]



Aw!

This is Winston. I'm currently in a parallel dimension.

But if you leave a message, I'll get back to you as soon--

Surf's up and I'm out. Have a totally guava day.

[telephone ringing]



-Hello? -Liz, hi!

Oh, you've got to help me.

I'm stuck out here in Sweet Valley State Park.

You're my last hope.

Well, I'm about to go.

Oh, please, just hear me out.

Listen, I could really use your help right now.

[sighs]



[sighs]



Mr. Shumway, did you know I'm psychic?

-Really? -I wonder if she knows I'm going to k*ll her.

Pick a number between one and five, and I'll guess it.

If I guess right, you have to let us out early.

Look, I don't really have anymore time for your--

If I guess right,

you get to play golf.

You're on.

[inhales]



I see...

three fingers.

You're right!

And I can still make my tea time.

You're dismissed.

[laughs]

Way to go, Jessica!

You should start your own hot-line.

Now, do you believe, Cheryl?

[car approaching]



[Liz]

There he is.

We drove all the way out here to pick up this guy?

I'd rather crawl home than get a ride with you.

[Chad]

Suit yourself.

Wait. You asked for help and here we are.

Now get in the car.

[Todd]

Fine.

Hey, watch the paint.

[Liz]

Aren't you going a little fast, Todd?

This road is really winding.

I can go twice as fast as this.

[Todd straining]



Hey, can you turn the radio up? I'm not quite deaf yet.

Feel that bass.

And on the treble, no distortion.

Hey, at the next drive-thru, can we stop? I'm starving.

No one eats in my car.

Hey! Pick those up now!

Watch the road! Ahhh!

You're going to get us k*lled.

Yeah, who taught you how to drive?

That does it.

We showed him.

-Yeah, we're better off without him. -[chuckles]



You, uh... think they'll send a search party?

And what about Dr. Treadway?

What's going to happen to him?

[inhales]

I see...

financial ruin...

-Amanda loses the baby. -[gasps]



-But it's not his baby anyway. -[gasps]



-[door bell rings]

-Oh!

-Hi, Cheryl. -Hi.

Here for palm reading?

If you were a psychic you'd know why I was here.

Liz and I are gonna study for tomorrow's English midterm.

Oh, that. [scoffs]



I could tell you what's on the test, but...

that would be cheating.

Is Liz upstairs?

She's out driving in Chad's Mercedes.

It's not like Liz to miss a study session for a date.

Looks like she's finally getting her priorities straight.

Look, there's a message on the machine.

-[beeps]

-Liz, it's Chad.

Sorry, I left you on road with that psycho.

By the way, did I leave my driving gloves at your house?

Call me.

-[dialing]

-I'm calling Chad to find out where he left Liz.

-Can't you just channel him? -[ringing]



[on telephone]

This is Chadwick.

You can't drive my car

but you can leave me a message.

Ciao.

He's not there.

Now, what are we gonna do?

[birds chirping]



Great. No road signs.

-[Liz sighs]

-Which way do we go?

Sweet Valley's west of here.

Check your compass and we'll know.

Uh... compass?

You didn't bring a compass on a nature hike?

[sighs]

I didn't have room.

I mean, I brought my... I brought my portable TV.

I mean, come on, who else would think to bring one of these babies?

[sighs]

Good thinkin'.

I can't believe you. This is ridiculous!

What?

The police say we can't file a missing person's report

until she's been gone hours.

We better go look for her.

Go where? We don't know where to start.

It's time to use my powers to connect psychically with Liz.

We'll start with a review of Chad's message.

[on telephone]

Liz, it's Chad. Sorry, I left you on the road with that psycho.

But then wait...

-I see Liz... -[man on TV]

We interrupt this program...

-...on the road... -[man on TV]

...for a special bulletin.

with a psycho.

-Your powers are amazing. -Shh!

[man on TV]

We repeat. A prisoner

has just escaped from Seaview Penitentiary.

He is armed and dangerous. If anyone...

Jessica, this is getting serious.

Liz can be in real trouble.

You gotta tell Liz and see if she's in danger.

You're right. I'll need something with Liz's karma on it.

Get me her sweater.

Karma? On a sweater?

You know, a good dry cleaner could get that up.

-This rock looks really familiar. -Hmm?

Hey... there's the gum I spit out minutes ago.

Oh, we've been going in circles. God!

Let's just go this way.

It's too dark to find a way back now.

-[sighs]

Looks like we're gonna have to camp out. -Yeah. [sighs]



Nice, we've got food and water.

[sighs]

I can't believe you.

No compass, no water.

No wonder we're lost.

-Oh! -We wouldn't be here in the first place

if you weren't dating Mr. Speedracer, Liz.

[sighs]

Look, things are bad enough, let's not fight.

-You're right. -[sighs]



I'll build a fire.

Good idea. Where are your matches?

Uh...

Matches?

Please, you don't really expect me to get inspired by a cardigan.

This is ridiculous. You're supposed to channel, not critique.

I see her.

She's hot. She's burning with fever.

I'm freezing. Oh!

Thanks.

She's been att*cked by a wild animal.

She's defenseless!

-[Todd screaming]

-What's wrong?

Get this spider off of me. [screams]



Okay, okay, okay. I got it, I got it, I got it.

She's all alone...

miserable and starving.

[on TV]

Coming up next on Channel Three, it's Raiders of the Lost Ark.

-Mmm, I love that movie. -Me too.

See, the TV wasn't just a stupid idea.

[on TV]

We interrupt this program to bring you a special bulletin.

The convict who escaped from the penitentiary tonight

has been seen heading for Sweet Valley State Park.

He is armed--

Oh! The batteries are dead.

Maybe it's the convict.

Oh, no. This is terrible.

What is it? What happened?

I can't move my legs.

God, I'm stuck!

Liz, you go for help, I'll try to slow him down.

I can't just leave you here alone.

Just go. Go!

Kerry, hi!

Kerry.

How'd you find us here? Did you... track our footprints?

Actually, I could hear your TV all the way back at the ranger station.

[sighs]

Thank God you found us here in the middle of nowhere. Miles from civilization.

Let's go. My car is parked at the - right through these trees.

My soulmate is gone.

I'm all alone in the world.

[sniffing]

I should have been nicer to her when she was around.

Get a hold of yourself, Liz is gonna be fine.

You don't understand.

-We have a psychic twin bond. -[door opens and closes]



Liz is gone forever!

-I'll never see her again. -Hi, guys.

[all]

Liz!

I knew you'd come back.

I didn't mean to worry you. I was out in the woods.

Wait... I must be losing my powers.

I saw you in the woods with some psycho.

Oh... she was with me.

Oh! So, I was right.

I've still got it.

Come on, let's go.

Wanna look to the year book and predict

who I'm goin' out with next week.

-Good idea. -[both laugh]



I'm glad you're safe. We were all worried.

Thanks, Cheryl.

-Bye. -Bye.

Liz, thanks for coming to get me.

I'm sorry I ruined your date.

-[sighs]

I'm not. -Uh, I feel really stupid.

I forgot the compass and the matches...

But you did remember the TV.

That's the important thing. [laughs]



Well... well, I better go.

Todd?

Thanks for trying to protect me.

I really appreciate it.

[on TV]

In other news, the convict that escaped Seaview Penitentiary

was last seen driving a blue Mercedes SL,

owned by Chadwick Harding the Third.

[chuckles]

Well, it's mine now, pal.

[Jessica]

I can't wait to see this.

-Here you go. -There it is.

My first A.

Ms. Wakefield...

Funny. I still see a big, red F.

What! This can't be mine.

Wow! Cheryl, you're psychic.

♪ Look right down any crowded hall ♪

♪ You see there's a beauty standing ♪

♪ Is she really everywhere ♪

♪ Or a reflection ♪

♪ Sweet Valley, Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you at Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Sweet Valley, Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you at Sweet Valley High ♪