04x26 - Their Finest Hour

[bunniefuu]

[Ray Charles] ♪ Georgia ♪

♪ Georgia ♪

♪ The whole day through ♪

♪ The whole day through ♪

♪ Just an old sweet song ♪

♪ Keeps Georgia on my mind ♪

♪ Georgia on my mind ♪

♪ I say now Georgia ♪

♪ Georgia ♪

♪ A song of you ♪

♪ A song of you ♪

♪ Comes as sweet and clear ♪

♪ As moonlight
through the pines ♪

And you probably
didn't know, Marjorie,

that Suzanne was not
just any Miss Georgia.

She was the Miss Georgia.

She didn't twirl just a baton.

That baton was on fire.

Look, that's...

And when she threw
that baton into the air,

it flew higher, further, faster

than any baton has
ever flown before,

hitting a transformer

and showering the
darkened arena with sparks.

And when it finally did
come down, Marjorie,

my sister caught that baton,

and 12,000 people
jumped to their feet

for 16 and 1/2 minutes

of uninterrupted
thunderous ovation

as flames illuminated
her tears-stained face!

And that, Marjorie,
just so you will know

and your children
will someday know,

is the night the lights
went out in Georgia.

Allow me to introduce
myself... Ray Don Simpson.

Well, there's no need
for introductions, Ray Don.

We know who you are.

- Oh, you do?
- Of course.

You are the guy who's always

wherever women
gather or try to be alone.

You want to be with us
when we're dining in hotels.

You want to know if the
book we're reading is any good

or if you can keep us
company on the plane.

And I want to
thank you, Ray Don,

on behalf of all the
women in the world

for your unfailing
attention and concern.

But read my lips and remember,

as hard as it is to believe,

sometimes we like
talking just to each other

and sometimes we
like just being alone.

I'm saying this is the South,

and we're proud
of our crazy people.

We don't hide
them up in the attic.

We bring them right
down to the living room

and show 'em off.

See, Phyllis, no one
in the South ever asks

if you have crazy
people in your family.

They just ask which
side they're on.

Hoods love Julia.

It's that little
sashay in her walk.

Well, what'd they say?

Does it matter?

The said the same asinine
stuff they always say.

I know, but just out of
curiosity, what was it?

Charlene, we always
go through this.

Why do you have to know?

I don't know.

It's a sickness.

All right, Charlene,
if you must know,

they said, "Hey, sweet meat,

what it is, mm-mm,

strut it out, bring it
on home to me now."

My head never touches
the pillow at night

that I don't say
"Thank you, God,

for giving me this
most wonderful son."

Hey, I got an idea.

Let's just stand her and
kiss on the dance floor

until they throw us out.

♪ Georgia claimed her,
Georgia named her ♪

♪ Sweet Georgia,
talk about Georgia ♪

♪ Sweet, sweet Georgia Brown ♪

Oh!

[crowd claps]

I saw her bra

hanging on the towel
rack in the bathroom.

So?

So you are not top dog anymore.

How do you know?

Because I could
get my whole head

in one side of hers.

Mary Jo, you put
her bra on your head?

I couldn't help it.

You know how that fascinates me.

Well, Suzanne's cup
fits me like a beanie,

but... Ursula's
covered my whole face.

These bra cups are huge.

It's kind of like
this is the corral

where Suzanne keeps her bosoms

and I'm the hired
hand who guards them

while she's taking them
out on a midnight ride.

Can you believe it?

I mean, who would have thought

home-made food in a gas station?

I mean, is this just
in the South or what?

I mean, you know, now you
can go in, get your tires checked,

buy some birth
control in the bathroom,

and have a little turkey and
dressing on your way out.

I don't see it.

Well, why don't
you ask somebody?

Yeah, like I'm gonna go
over to the clerk and yell,

"Hey, I'm a desperate
single woman

looking for a copy of
How to Trap Myself a Man."

Mary Jo, men do not come
up and talk to a woman

who's wheeling around a
25-pound sack of dog food

and a big box of Kotex.

I want a movie where
some woman stands up

and beats the tar out
of Frankenstein or Jason

or Freddy Kruger or whatever,

and does it before
her friends get k*lled.

I want a movie where
a woman with a g*n

knows how to use it

and doesn't let
some man wrench it

out of her wimpy little wrist.

I want a movie where
the hero is Charlene,

not Charles Bronson!

Well, this is the skirt you
gave me for Christmas.

Yes, I know.

It's not to wear.

It's a Christmas tree skirt.

You're supposed to put it

around the base of
your Christmas tree.

Oh. Oh, well, no wonder.

I like to never
got this thing on.

Mary Jo, I'm telling you,
you are talking too loud,

and it is not funny. Now
no more beer for you.

You better watch your step, boy.

Don't you be back-talking
me in front of my friends.

I hate it when my man
sasses me, don't you?

[Connie Francis] ♪
Where the boys are ♪

- ♪ Someone waits for me ♪
- Sing it, sing it!

♪ A smiling face,
a warm embrace ♪

♪ Two arms to
hold you tenderly ♪

You know, Suzanne, I've
always tried to picture you

with each your
ex-husbands in bed.

- Charlene!
- I'm sorry, but I wonder
about everything,

you know, like what the
words to "Mack the Kn*fe" mean

and how they make that
cat dance on the commercial.

- I had a cat once...
- Charlene!

All right, I'm sorry. I'll stop.

Pass the cole slaw.

Ever wonder who Cole was?

Charlene. She's like those women

you read about in
the National Enquirer...

You know, the ones who
don't know they're pregnant.

One day they're
just sitting around

sipping on a soda or something.

All of a sudden they look down

and say "My stars,
would you look at that?

I just had a baby."

Did you see this? "Drones
of vicious k*ller bees

are heading towards
United States."

They're from South America,

expected to arrive
in three to four years.

That is terrible.
Can you imagine?

I bet our bees are
scared to death.

Really? That's amazing.

I didn't know that.

Why do you know
all the capitals?

Because I love knowledge.

In fact, I yearn for it.

Charlene, sit down.

We want to talk to
you about Monette.

Oh, no. I don't like
the sound of that.

Every time you say "Charlene,
sit down," it's bad news.

Just tell me standing
up. What is it?

What? What? Monette's a man.

No.

But we have reason to believe

she's practicing the
world's oldest profession.

Monette's a carpenter?

♪♪ [swing]

[Laura Nyro] ♪ Bill ♪

♪ I love you so ♪

♪ I always will ♪

♪ I look at you and see
the passion eyes of May ♪

♪ Eyes of May ♪

♪ Oh, but am I ever gonna
see my wedding day? ♪

♪ Wedding day ♪

♪ Come on and marry me, Bill ♪

♪ I got the wedding bell blues ♪

♪ Ave ♪

♪ Maria ♪

Thank you, Dolly,
for being in my dream.

Oh you're welcome.

You just remember that tomorrow,

when you meet your daughter,

on the first day
of the last decade

of the entire 20th Century,

you'll be meeting the person

that will be holding your
hand when it's your time to go.

Bye, Dolly. I'll be seeing you.

Oh, you can count on that

'cause I'm your
guardian movie star.

Boy, she looks
even better in person.

Oh, darn, I forgot to
ask her for her autograph.

Oh, gosh, Olivia's
coming in a few hours.

It's almost the first day

of the last decade of
the entire 20th Century.

And Olivia is coming.

♪ Consuela, Consuela ♪

♪ Bo bela, banana fana fo fela ♪

♪ Me mi mo mela, Consuela! ♪

- Dash.
- Hmm.

Do you ever wonder
why we got married?

No, I know why.

I wanted to be a writer,

and I felt that I hadn't
suffered enough.

How do you feel now?

I feel that I have.

Hi. What's going on?

I mean, it's just incredible
how they have the nerve

to just come right up to
you and say "Hi Suzanne!

"How's that diet
coming along, huh?

You've been laying off
those cakes and pies?"

What I want to know is

how would they like
it if I did that to them?

How about if I just yelled
across the golf course

to Ora Fern's Frank?

Hey, Frank!

How's that impotence problem?

You still thinking about
getting that implant?

Suzanne!

Don't worry about Mr. Fladbeau.

I'll take care of that.
You're not leaving this room.

Mr. Fladbeau, this is
Suzanne Sugarbaker.

Reggie Mac's
taking his break now.

Thank you!

Excuse me!

Excuse me!

Excuse me!

Excuse me!

Excuse me!

Excuse me!

Julia, give me that phrase book.

Does it tell you how to say

"Get your butt out of my
window seat this minute"?

I don't know why Charlene
insists on nursing this baby.

It's like some kind of epidemic.

Everywhere I go, any
time of the day or night,

I see these women
whipping themselves out

and acting like
public filling stations.

I mean, they act

like just 'cause there's
a baby attached,

it's not a breast anymore.

Could you see me unleashing
one of these outdoors?

The hell would break loose.

Well, excuse me.

What's the cap
doing off my milk?

What do you mean, your milk?

Well, it's the milk I
expressed for Olivia.

What do you mean expressed?

Last night I got
my feelings hurt

because I came to this
reunion thinking I was beautiful,

and what I found
out was that I'm fat.

The old Suzanne
wouldn't have forgiven you

for the things that you said,

but this one will

because when I look
around this room tonight,

I don't see receding hairlines

and the beginnings of
pot bellies and crow's feet.

I just see all the beautiful
faces of old girl friends

and sweet young boys who
used to stand on my front porch

and try to kiss me good night.

And you can remember
me any way you'd like.

But that's how I'll
always remember you.

Thank you.

Hi, everyone. This
is Anthony Bouvier.

He's just one of Sugarbakers
many delivery men.

Right.

Well, I guess I better
be getting out to the truck

and help the other guys load up.

Bouvier.

Bouvier, you wouldn't
be any relation

to Jacqueline Bouvier
Kennedy, would you?

Oh, Billy, you're terrible.

Well, yes. As a
matter of fact, I am.

She's my sister.

But we had this huge falling out

over some land that Dad left us.

That was not long after
Jack got into the white house

and I was still in grade school.

But then, after she
married Onassis,

he and I became very close.

Ari was such a great guy.

We played a lot of golf
together on Scorpios.

Since he d*ed, I haven't
seen much of her, though,

except for those
odd social occasions

like Caroline and Edwin
Schlosshberg's wedding.

Ah, wonderful fella.

Very high intensity

and he has this fabulous
barn in the Berkshires.

Well, I'll tell Jackie that
you asked about her.

She will be so pleased to know
that common people still care.

By the way, your
hose are falling down.

Oh, gracias.

My ankles are huge.

[giggling]

Oh, I am sorry. My
teeth are enormous.

I'm telling you, Julia,

I don't think I can
make it two weeks.

You've got to get
me out of here.

Suzanne's got people fixing
my hair, manicuring my nails.

I heard her talking to
a facialist on the phone.

And tonight, if you
don't do something,

they're going to exfoliate me.

[Woman] What's
this camper's name?

[high voice] Cindy.

Cindy what?

Cindy Birdsong.

Birdsong. I don't
remember that name.

Check your list.

I was late. I get on the
bus at the last minute.

Who let you on?

I don't know. Some white girl.

- Where's your application?
- I turned it in.

- To who?
- Some white girl.

You don't have any
long underwear, do you?

No, just pantyhose.

Hey, I'll take
'em. I'm not proud.

I got to have something
on under these jeans.

All right, here.

Night-night. Don't
let the bedbugs bite.

Excuse me, Suzanne, but I
would just like to remind you

that it is 3 degrees below
zero Fahrenheit outside.

Therefore, I do not
think it is appropriate

for you to say
"Good night, Anthony.

Don't let the bedbugs bite."

I think it might be
more to the point

if you say "Good night, Anthony.

May God have
mercy on your soul."

Great sofa. You
want to have sex on it?

Not right now, Vanessa,

but thank you very
much for asking.

That's very thoughtful of you.

I love you, Anthony.

And I just want you to know

that you've been like
an illegitimate son to me.

♪ America ♪

♪ Talking 'bout America ♪

♪ God shed His grace on thee ♪

♪ And crowned thy good ♪

♪ With brotherhood ♪

♪ From sea to ♪

♪ Shining sea ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

"And when an affair was over,

"she left a man dazed and
wobbly and squinty-eyed

"like some wrung-out
old gas station dog,

"all spindly legs
and dry heaves.

"Sometimes trying to stand

"in the shadow
of his former self,

"but mostly just
staring disinterested

"into the hot Delta sun.

This is what is known in
the South as being belled."

"She was a woman
who enjoyed littering,

and for her, men were
just as good as Kleenex."

Is that isn't Suzanne
Sugarbaker, I'll eat my desk!

You have always
belonged to another time.

Oh, you think so?

Where would you put me?

Oh, I don't know. Ahem.

Sometime before
flirting became extinct.

When letter writing was an art,

stationery was engraved,

and... and dinner was an event.

What would write about me,

you know, if you were
to write something?

Well, I would probably write
something like "Charlene...

"She was all cotton candy
and pink champagne,

legs that stretched
out for 5 or 6 miles..."

"And one of those
laughs that made you feel

like riding around
in a convertible."

Oh, boy, that's nice.

- You know what
I'd write about you?
- Hmm.

I'd write "Dash
Goff, darn sweet."

Last time, we talked

about how our individual
language banks are shrinking.

Our adjectives are
imprecise and ordinary,

and we've developed a kind
of counterfeit communication

which diminishes
us all with its banality.

Say what?

In other words,
we don't talk good.

That's right.

We don't talk good,
and we don't write good.

Tonight I want to ask you all
to test your creative powers

by coming up with a
descriptive sentence

about someone in this class.

A good way to
begin your sentence

would be "He was like"

or "She was the
kind of woman who."

Well, for example if I
were describing Julia,

I might say she was
the kind of woman

who wore old money as
casually as last year's clothes.

Well, I don't think
that's a very good one.

All right, Suzanne,
would you like to try one?

And don't tell us who it is.

All right.

He was like an ex-convict

who cheated on his book report.

Suzanne!

Now, that's cold.

Anthony, would
you like to try one?

Yes, I believe I would.

How about "She was
the kind of woman

that treated men like
old gas station dogs"?

I... I think that you all may
be missing the point here.

You see, the idea is not
just to state but to illuminate.

Mary Jo, do you have one?

Yeah, I think I have one.

"She was the kind of woman

who would have dated Lee
Harvey Oswald in high school."

Why are y'all looking at me?

Mary Jo, I can't
believe you said that!

Charlene, you have one?

Yes, I do.

This is a good
one. Are you ready?

Go ahead.

"If words could k*ll,

this woman would
be on death row."

That's you, Julia.

Yes, I got that.

- Thank you, Charlene.
- You're welcome.

Well, I hope you
all will continue

to work on this, and, uh...

- May I?
- Be my guest.

"Dash Goff, a lover of
women... Mostly southern...

"and words... all kinds.

"And when he got them both
together between two covers,

"it was a rip-roaring,
fire-cracking

"roller coaster of a ride.

And we are all the better
for having bought a ticket."

Hear, hear.

- Thank you.
- Aw, that's great.

[Man] Give him a smile.

No, no, too much, too much.

There! Beautiful!
One more like that.

Very good. Yes! All
right, that was beautiful.

Now let's take this
chair, bring it over here,

and why don't we
just turn it around,

and why don't you just
sort of straddle it like this?

Okay?

You want me to
straddle this chair?

I usually wouldn't
sit that way at work.

Trust me, it's just a
casual look I'm after, okay?

Well, I don't usually dress
like this at work, either.

I mean, this looks
like something

that Bo Derek washed
up on the sand in.

You know, my mother
taught me never to sit like this.

But then my mother never
really cared about my sensuality.

Mothers are like that.

- What is that?
- Just a little moisture.

Are you kidding? I would
never come to work wet.

Oh, oh, does this
camera love you.

Yes, yes!

One more! Uh-huh. Okay.

Now why don't you just
lean forward a little, okay?

There you go. That's it.

Okay, good. Beautiful.

Now, lose the smile.
Give me wistful, okay?

Wistful. Uh, you're at work,

but you're thinking
about the nighttime.

Yes. Thank you.

Oh, yes.

What I want to know is

what does being a
decorator have to do

with riding a hobby horse

with your cleavage
cinched up to your chin?

I don't get Suzanne's outfit.

Well, as long as
we're on the subject,

I don't get this outfit.

Sammy Davis, Jr.?

Okay, okay now.
Let's take these pearls,

and we're going to take
them across your mouth.

Uh-huh. That's it, that's it.

Okay. Now, you're looking out,

you're lost in thought,

and you're just ever
so slightly sucking them.

That's it!

Out!

What? What's the matter?

I'm saying I want you

and your equipment
out of here now.

If you are looking for
somebody to suck pearls,

then I suggest you try
finding yourself an oyster

because I am not a
woman who does that.

As a matter of fact, I
don't know any woman

who does that
because it's stupid.

And it doesn't have any
more to do with decorating

than having cleavage
and looking sexy

has to do with
working in a bank.

These are not pictures
about the women of Atlanta.

These are about just the
same thing they're always about.

And it doesn't matter if
the clothes are on or off!

It's just the same old message.

I don't care how many pictures
you've taken of movie stars.

When you start snapping photos

of serious, successful
businessmen

like Donald Tr*mp
and Lee Iacocca

in unzipped jumpsuits

with wet lips straddling chairs,

then we'll talk.

What do you think,
Julia? You like them?

Well, Mary Jo,
they're different.

It takes getting used to.

Go ahead. Feel them.

Oh, that's all right.

No, no. Come on.

This is almost the consistency
of what I'll be getting.

I mean, go ahead.

Mary Jo, I'll feel them
some other time, okay?

But thank you for asking.

Well, Charlene, you feel them.

Now?

Well, yeah, yeah. Go ahead.

I want to know what you think.

Well, okay.

Excuse me, I'll just be
taking these in the back.

There are all kinds of bosoms

floating around
out there, Mary Jo,

and I don't think it's going to
matter one way or the other

when you walk into Gallagher's.

You are so wrong.

People treat you completely
differently, even women.

Like this morning at the bank,

there's this woman
teller in there

who's usually very rude.

Well, I just walked
right in there

and flopped them right
up there on the counter.

And it intimidated
the heck out of her.

She had a whole new
look of respect on her face.

Mary Jo, you are like
a kid with a new toy.

I know I am. You
know, I think these things

are supposed to make
you feel more feminine,

but they make
me feel aggressive.

You know, kind of macho-like.

I tell you, if I go
up to a D cup,

I think I could
get into a fist fight.

It's just the spin of
the old genetic wheel.

I think I have been
amply compensated.

What does that mean?

It means Suzanne got the boobs,

and she got the brains.

I don't think I like the turn
this conversation has taken.

Oh come on. Big
boobs, tiny brain

It's a story as
old as the hills.

I didn't write it.

Mary Jo, I cannot believe
you would even repeat that.

Oh, come on. I was just kidding.

It's just the
littlest angel's way

of kind of evening the score.

What this littlest
angel stuff anyway?

It's the name of a
training bra, Suzanne.

I'm sure wouldn't know
anything about that.

A training bra.

You little people
have to train yours,

and you call us dumb.

[Mary Jo] Gee, I don't know.

Maybe I shouldn't have
gone up another cup size.

- Brace yourself.
- For what?

Two guys coming across the room.

Can you believe that we've
been here all of 90 seconds?

These things are like magnets.

Hello. How are you?

Fine, thank you.

Can we buy you all a drink?

Fine with me.

Tell me, what first
attracted you to us?

[Julia] I don't think we
want to pursue this, do you?

Excuse us one second.

Listen here, I'm
going to spend $3,000.

I'm going to need some
honest answers here.

I'm so sorry.

I'd like to be candid, if I may.

We both see someone,
so we're not available,

but if you could just
be honest and tell me,

when you saw us across the room,

would you have made
such a beeline over here

if my breasts were
not as big as they are?

Mary Jo, I cannot
believe that conversation.

Have you just
completely lost your mind?

Oh, it doesn't
make any difference.

You insulted them.

We'll never see them again.

Besides, I wanted to know.

That just proves the point.

This would not have
happened a week ago.

Well, I don't know about that.

I don't like to brag,

but I've turned a
few heads in my time.

Well, you didn't
do it with those.

No offense.

Check, please.

No problem. He took care of it.

He who?

See what I'm talking about?

It is a whole new world.

I'll tell you Julia, we
have been big fools.

These things are power!

I've been up all night,

and I just can't figure out
how I can belong to a church

that doesn't think that I
am fit to preach God's work.

I just resigned from my church.

Oh, Charlene, I'm so sorry.

Yeah, me, too.

Is there anything I can do?

Yes.

As a matter of fact, there is.

My minister, Reverend Nunn,

is going to be at the
closing ceremony,

and for some reason I need
to be proud of women tonight.

I want to hear you
hit that high note.

No, Charlene. No, I can't.

Yes, you can.

Julia, I know you can.

Now, what I just did
took more courage

than I ever thought I had.

It would be impossible for me
to have more courage than you.

What makes you so sure?

Well, 'cause...
'cause you're my hero.

Heroine.

Even better.

Oh, please, Julia, do it for me.

Do it for all of us girls.

You mean you and
Mary Jo and Suzanne?

No.

I mean, all us girls everywhere.

♪ How great ♪

♪ Thou art ♪

♪ How great ♪

♪ Thou ♪

♪ Art ♪

I don't know how I
got myself into this.

Oh, Mary Jo, you'll be fine.

You've checked out every
book on sex education

in the entire public library.

I know. I still don't even
know where to begin.

Well, I can probably
help you, dear.

I've had sex.

What would you like to know?

I think the worst part
of this whole mess

is that horrible name.

I mean, I don't know how
they could call me that.

I hadn't even
have the debate it.

Mary Jo, that's
just kids for you.

But to call me Mary Jo Shively,

the Condom Queen!

Yeah, that's one even
I wouldn't try out for.

I remember my daddy used
to keep a whole bunch of them

in his top dresser drawer.

I got in so much trouble once

because I blew them
all up on my birthday.

I mean, I was real confused
about the facts of life.

One time, my parents
were out of town,

and I crashed my
bicycle into this wall.

I couldn't find a band aid.

I showed up at
school the next day

with a Kotex taped
to my forehead.

Julia, if I could just
be more like you.

I mean, you can always
think of just a million things

right off the top of your head,

and it's always
articulate and wonderful.

I need you to show me
how to do what you do.

Well, I'm not sure
exactly what that is.

Oh, get serious, Julia.

They don't call you the
Terminator for nothing.

I just always thought

that if you feel passionately
about what you're saying,

it's like having an
angel on your shoulder.

I need to learn how to do that.

Could you get fired
up and let me watch?

Mary Jo, I don't feel
fired up right now.

Oh, all right. We'll
get you fired up.

Let's all think of something
that really makes us mad.

Oh. Oh, I got one.

This just makes me furious.

You know, when men
use Women's Liberation

as an excuse not
to k*ll bugs for you.

Oh, I just hate that!

I don't care what anybody says.

I think the man should
have to k*ll the bugs.

I don't think I can
add anything to that.

It just stands to reason
that if AIDS was airborne

that somebody would have
gotten it that way by now.

As far as I'm concerned,

this disease has
one thing going for it.

It's k*lling all
the right people.

Ima Jean, I'm terribly sorry.

I'm going to have to
ask you to move your car.

- Why?
- Because you're leaving.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about
the only thing worse

than all these people who've
never had any morals for AIDS

are all you holier
than thou types

who think you're
exempt from getting it.

Well, for your
information, I am exempt.

I hadn't lived
like these people.

And I don't care what
you say, Julia Sugarbaker.

I believe this is God's
punishment for what they've done.

Ima Jean, get serious.

Who do you think
you're talking to?

I've known you for 27 years,

and all I can say is

if God was giving out sexually
transmitted diseases to people

as a punishment for sinning,

then you would be at
the free clinic all the time.

And so would the rest of us.

I have a dear,
sweet, funny friend,

24 years old... Not
very much older

than the kids that
we're talking about here,

and he came to me this week

and asked me to
help plan his funeral

because he's dying... from AIDS.

I've been thinking a lot
about his mother this week

and what she might give

for the opportunity
that I have tonight,

that we all still
have here tonight.

Because now we know
how to help prevent AIDS,

and I think that it
really shouldn't matter

what your personal views
are about birth controls

because, you see, we're
not... We're not just talking

about preventing births anymore.

We're talking about
preventing deaths.

25,000 Americans have
d*ed, and we're still debating.

For me... this debate is over.

More important than
what any civic leader

or PTA or Board
of Education thinks

about teenagers having sex

or any immoral act

that my daughter or
your son might engage in

is the bottom line
that I don't think...

that they should
have to die for it.

Thank you.

You know, the truth is
you girls talk a good line

about wanting a guy to be,
you know, sweet and sensitive,

but those are the guys
you drive your cars over.

You know, what I
don't understand is

why they don't understand

that we are talking about
a matter of degrees here.

Yes, we want a man to
be sensitive and vulnerable,

and we also want him to
be strong and masculine.

Women have integrated
these qualities quite nicely.

Why can't men do the same?

Oh boy, I hate that, you know?

That pose that women assume

like they're these
superior human beings,

much more tuned in to emotion,
language, culture, children,

and we are just these big
untrainable Neanderthals

stumbling through life

who occasionally
fall on top of them.

Right.

And apparently,
even that we don't do

long enough to satisfy 'em.

Well, I just want to say

that I think this thing about
being sexually satisfied

is way overrated.

I mean, men and
women both act like

that is just the be-all
end-all thrill all the time.

Books are written about it.

Marriages break up over
it, and I just don't get it.

I mean, we're
talking about what?

Six or seven seconds here.

I mean, it's okay, but
it's not as good as, say,

having somebody put a crown
on your head or shopping.

Thank you, Suzanne.

Thank you you for
sharing that with everyone.

That's okay, Dash.

You paid your dues, buddy.

We know where
that's coming from.

Well, I tell you what kills me

is that stuff that Freud said

about us wanting what men have.

Now, I mean, is that
the most absurd thing

you ever heard or what?

I mean, like we're going
to walk up to some guy

and go. "Yeah,
boy, I sure would like

"to have me one
of those, yes sir.

If I just had me one of
those, I would be in business."

[J.D.] M-Mary Jo!

M... I do not believe you.

You are completely
out of control.

That's right! And you
are not the boss of me.

I'll tell you what. I
don't get this bond

that y'all have formed
since you came.

I mean, you weren't
even close friends,

and now it's like the
guys against the girls.

I mean, it's just so immature.

You guys, it's
time to go to dinner.

Hey, don't try to
shame us, okay?

We need all the
reinforcements we can get here.

In case you haven't noticed,

there is a w*r
going on out there,

and you women started it.

Oh, no, we did not.

But that is a typical
male attitude.

Now, the truth is that we
women haven't had enough power

or money or confidence
to start much of anything,

but we sure as heck get
the blame for everything.

I'll tell you something
else. I love men in particular.

I love this one,

but you cannot ignore history,

and history has
shown that in general,

it has been the men
who have done the raping

and the robbing and the
k*lling and the w*r mongering

for the last 2,000 years.

It has been the men

who have done the
pillaging and the beheading

and the subjugating of
whole races into sl*very.

It has been the men who
have done the law-making

and the money-making and
most of the mischief-making,

so if the world isn't quite
what you had in mind,

you have only
yourselves to thank.

Oh, yeah?

That's what you think about men?

Well, let me tell you
something about women.

Yeah, what?

They're always late.

♪ I could see that you're
the perfect woman ♪

♪ If you're not, it's
just because of me ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm hung up
on the perfect woman ♪

♪ And I don't know
how I deserve to be ♪

♪ I see other pretty women ♪

♪ Lord, they still
look good to me ♪

♪ And there's some ladies ♪

♪ That can drive some men mad ♪

♪ But when an angel ♪

♪ Lets her hair down ♪

♪ Lord, that's
something else to see ♪

♪ And mmm-mm ♪

♪ You're so good
when you're bad ♪

♪ And I say mmm-mm, ♪

♪ You're so good
when you're bad ♪

Guess what hurts
the most is last night.

He wasn't just hitting her,
he was humiliating her.

What is it, something
like every 15 seconds,

a woman gets beaten
up in her own home.

I mean, think about it.

That's like four
women every minute.

I mean, just since we started
having this conversation

a few minutes ago,

like, a dozen women
have been beaten up

and/or have been sexually abused

by quote, a loved one.

Now, Mavis, I have to go.

If you won't come
with me right now,

I will be at the Art
Center until 11:00.

Just get your girls and come.

Just take this first step.

I will be by your
side the whole way.

I'm so ashamed.

I don't know how I ever
let it get to this point.

It's okay, it's okay.

Just remember, we
don't have to take this.

'Cause we're the
Rowdy Girls, remember?

Yeah.

I remember.

♪ You shake my nerves,
and you rattle my brain ♪

Suzanne, I cannot believe

that you are
actually in that getup.

I've never been so
embarrassed in my life.

Why?

I think I look perfect.

You're the one that looks silly.

Would you get out there?

You're supposed to be on!

Just a minute.

Our number is next, and
don't you dare come near us!

Julia, what are
you talking about?

I have to be with
you. I'm a Supreme.

Listen, I don't give a damn

if you're a California Raisin,
you stay away from us!

[Announcer] Ladies and gentlemen,
Diana Ross and the Supremes!

♪♪

♪ Oooh! Oh oh oh oh! ♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh! ♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh! ♪

♪ Oooh ♪

♪ Oooh ♪

Oooh.

♪ If you need me, call me ♪

♪ no matter where you
are, no matter how far ♪

♪ Just call my name ♪

♪ I'll be there in a hurry ♪

♪ On that you can
depend and never worry ♪

♪ No wind ♪

♪ No wind ♪

♪ No rain ♪

♪ No rain ♪

♪ Or winter's cold ♪

♪ Can stop me, baby ♪

♪ Oh baby ♪

♪ Baby ♪

♪ Baby ♪

♪ If you're my goal ♪

♪ Oh no wind ♪

♪ No wind ♪

♪ No rain ♪

♪ No rain ♪

♪ Can stop me, baby,
if you're my goal ♪

♪ Ain't no mountain
high enough ♪

♪ Oh oh! ♪

♪ Ain't no valley low enough ♪

♪ Ooh ooh! ♪

♪ Ain't no river wide enough ♪

♪ Oh oh! ♪

♪ To keep me from you ♪

♪ Ain't no mountain
high enough ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Ain't no valley low enough ♪

♪ Say it again! ♪

♪ Ain't no river wide enough! ♪

♪ Hey hey ♪

♪ To keep me from you ♪

♪ Ain't no mountain
high enough ♪

♪ Nothing can keep
me keep me from you ♪

♪ Ain't no mountain
high enough ♪

"Yesterday, in my mind's eye,

"I saw four women
standing on a veranda

"in white gauzy dresses
and straw-colored hats.

"They were having
a conversation,

"and it was hot.

"Their hankies
tucked in cleavages

"where eternal
trickles of perspiration

"run from the female breastbone

"to exotic vacation spots

"that Southern men
often dream about.

"They were sweet-smelling,
coy, cunning, voluptuous,

"voracious, delicious,
pernicious, vexing, and sexy.

"These earth sister,
rebel, mothers.

"These arousers and carousers,

"and I was filled with
a longing to join them.

"But like a whim of Scarlett's,

"they turned suddenly
and went inside,

"shutting me out
with the bolt of a latch,

"and I was left only to pick
up an abandoned handkerchief

"and savor the perfumed
shadows of these women...

"these Southern women.

"This Suzanne, this Julia,
this Mary Jo, and Charlene.

Thanks for the comfort,
Dash Goff, the writer."