♪♪ [theme]
Mm-hmm Yeah, well,
we've had some robberies
around here, too. Mm-hmm.
Anthony called. He said
he's going to be a little bit late
because he's at school
working on his speech,
but he said not to worry.
He will go over to Susie
Stewart's this afternoon
and hang her new drapes.
Frankly, I'm a lot more worried
about the speech
than the drapes.
- Uh-huh.
- I know.
I have never seen Anthony
so nervous about anything.
I'm just so proud of him
being one of the
commencement speakers.
Charlene, don't talk about it.
Oh, Julia I know.
You get emotional. I do, too.
It's just that...
I mean, seeing how
Anthony has pulled himself up.
You know, he's just
the dearest, sweetest...
Charlene.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
[mouthing]
Uh-huh.
Hello. This is the operator.
I had an emergency
interrupt for 555-8600.
Would you please
release the line?
Got to go, Rhonda Faye.
Thank you, Charlene.
I know she can't help it,
but that accent of hers
just drives me crazy.
[exaggerated southern
accent] "I cannot tell you
how much I just love
this pink wallpaper."
[door opens]
Is he here?
Hi. No, no, no,
he's still at school.
Did y'all find a present?
Yes, Suzanne's
helped me pick it out.
It was expensive, but my man
is only going to graduate
from college once.
Oh, Vanessa, that's gorgeous.
Oh, it sure is.
Did somebody eat my rice cakes?
I might have had one last night.
You might have?
Charlene, it seems to me
either you did or you didn't.
All right, I did.
You know, it's funny to me
that you people can eat
anything in the world...
Cookies, bread, potato
chips, entire sides of beef.
I, on the other hand,
had been reduced
to a few little pieces
of crumbled rice
stuck together by some
tasteless low-cal fish saliva,
and yet, for some
reason, you feel compelled
to come over here
and chow down on it.
- I'm sorry.
- Well, you ought to be.
Suzanne, you seem to
be running low on sugar.
Why don't you try
sucking on a breath mint?
Because, Julia, I don't
want to suck a breath mint.
Why don't you suck one?
I'm about this close
from getting in a tower
and hurting some people.
So what did y'all get Anthony?
Oh, we went in together
and got him a computer.
It hasn't come in yet.
A computer? Oh, my
gosh, he'll go crazy.
That's what he's been wanting.
Oh, good. We hoped he'd like it.
Well, it certainly
wasn't my idea.
I think buying a
computer is dumb.
You know, it might come
down with all those viruses.
I mean, life is hard enough.
Why would you spend
good money to buy something
that's not even alive
but can still get sick?
Yeah I don't understand
that computer virus stuff.
I mean, does that mean
if your computer gets sick,
your other office
equipment can catch it?
Charlene, don't be ridiculous.
Well, I guess I'll better be
getting back to the library
and make some
money to pay for all this.
Would y'all just give
this to Anthony for me?
Okay, we'll take care of it.
Thanks, Suzanne.
Right.
That girl is funny.
That girl should
be on television.
Now let's not forget
to call the locksmith.
We want to get a
sturdier lock on that door.
You don't need a new lock.
You need a .357 Magnum.
Anybody breaks in here,
you just blow their little
butt right out of here.
Listen, Charles Branson,
if you are going to be
this pleasant all day long,
why don't you just do us
all a favor and go on home?
Look, just don't mess
with me, Julia, okay?
I have PMS, I am
hungry, and I'm armed.
[Charlene] Oh, that
reminds me, that reminds me.
- You got a letter
from your grandma.
- Well it is about time.
I don't even know what
time she's getting here.
The woman refuses
to talk on long distance,
so I have to wait for
pony express to arrive.
Oh, Lord.
What? What's wrong?
She's driving all
night from Memphis
with my uncle Clevon
and my aunt Louise.
I wanted my grandmother
to come down,
but I wanted her
to fly down alone.
I'm sorry. I know
I'm acting childish.
No, it's all right.
You're nervous
about having to make that
commencement speech.
No, Charlene. I'm not nervous.
I was nervous three days ago.
I've gone past nervousness
into night sweats
and hyperventilating.
You all see my paper bag?
Every now and then,
I have to get it out
and breathe into it like this.
Well Anthony, is there
anything we could do?
No. I'm pretty much beyond help.
The commencement is Saturday,
and the other three speakers
have already finished
their speeches.
I'm just starting mine,
and every time I get
started, I get writer's block.
Even if I do write it,
you know what happens
to me when I get nervous.
I start laughing, and this time,
I'll probably get so nervous,
I'll turn into a regular hyena.
Well, good Lord, why
did they even pick you?
Because, Suzanne, the
students voted for him.
Anthony is very popular.
Anthony, you're just feeling
a little overwhelmed right now.
We'll work it out.
Hey, listen, it's
not your problem.
Anyway, even if I
do finish this speech,
I still got deliveries to make
and draperies to hang.
I'm supposed to be
out collecting money
because I'm chairman
of the New Black History
reading room at college,
and on top of everything else,
I have a world
geography final tonight
that I have not even
cracked a book on.
It's hopeless. Everything
has caught up with me.
Ladies, you're looking at a man
who has gone the
distance for four long years.
I've run a good race,
I'm at the finish line,
and now I'm going up in flames.
I have never seen
Anthony so depressed.
I hope he passes
that final tonight.
I think he's mostly worried
about his grandmother.
Well, I think he's mostly
worried about that speech,
and with good reason.
If I didn't have
one word on paper
48 hours before the ceremony
and was just going
to get up there
in front of hundreds of people
and laugh like a hyena,
I'd be worried, too.
Don't y'all get it?
Anthony's grandmother and
that speech are connected.
That's why he can't write it.
Why?
She's the one who's loved him,
she's raised him, she's
believed in him all these years.
Only family he has.
Now she's coming
here for the first time.
I think he's terrified
of disappointing her.
But I know something I can do.
I'm going to help
him with his speech.
Drama and debate were
my specialties in college.
Thank you, Julia.
I appreciate it,
but I think I'm pretty
much beyond help.
What time is your final?
6:30.
What time will you be finished?
6:35.
I will meet you at the
student library at 7:45,
and we will work on
your speech together.
Anthony, what's your speech
supposed to be about anyway?
Well, basically, it's about
the civil rights struggle
then and now.
See, I'm the only black speaker,
and I represent about
20% of the student body.
Well, boy, you sure
came to the right place.
It's right up Julia's alley.
She just loves that stuff.
She's got all of that
Harry Bellafonte's records.
Anthony, before you go, what's
that thing you're collecting for?
Oh, it's for the
Black History section
of the student library.
I kind of started this drive.
I thought it would
be kind of nice
to leave a little
something behind.
Well, that sounds
like a real good cause.
I'm going to add
my two cents' worth.
- Me, too.
- Me, three.
Hey, now wait a minute now.
You all have done
enough already.
I'm not taking any money.
Well, that's good
because I'm not giving any.
Suzanne.
Well I'm sorry. I
support Anthony,
but why do black people
need a separate section?
Maybe because white
history left them out.
Oh, please, I remember learning
about all kinds of
famous black people.
Amos and Andy, to name two.
Okay, Anthony,
here's my donation
and $10 extra for that remark.
Well, I better go study.
Hey, I really
appreciate this, y'all.
Thank you.
Well, Bernice, how
did you get here?
Why didn't you call us?
I just got a cab.
I knew Anthony was busy,
and I didn't want to bother him.
Ohh.
Happy Graduation.
I love you, Anthony, and
I just want you to know
that you've been like
an illegitimate son to me.
Thank you, Bernice.
I tell you, that cab driver
was absolutely filthy.
He reeked of alcohol,
and the back seat was filled
with old cigarette butts
and birth control devices.
Hey! A Jeopardy! game.
Hey, this is great, Bernice.
I watch this on TV.
Well, I didn't know
what to get you.
I debated about a cheese tray.
But then a lot of the men
at my retirement village
have been bragging
about that new Murine
ear wax removal system.
They say it's just wonderful.
Well, I think you
made the right choice.
Oh, I'm so pleased.
Anthony, don't forget
to take your suit.
Vanessa says you'll
need to get it altered.
I have to get that tonight
because I just don't have
time to mess with it right now.
Bernice, thank you very much,
and thank you for this check.
Oh, you're welcome.
Don't forget, see
you at the library.
You've got a date. Bye.
Oh, well, that's nice.
I didn't know you and
Anthony were dating.
Bernice, they're not dating.
Julia's just going to help
Anthony with his speech.
You know, he's a little nervous
because Dondy's coming.
Who's that?
Dondy's what he
calls his grandmother.
I never heard him call her that.
It's how he always
refers to her around me.
It's just a nickname.
For what?
I don't know, Suzanne.
I guess it's for anything.
It's just her name.
Like there's this guy in
Poplar Bluff named snooker.
You know, there's
no reason for it.
He doesn't play
pool or anything.
And there's another
guy named Deacon,
but he never goes to church.
Matter of fact, there's
a guy named Booger...
Charlene, we get the picture.
Okay, everybody, listen up.
The subject is The
Constitution for $20.
"This ten-point
feature was added."
The Bill of Rights.
You have to say
"What is the Bill of
Rights?" Suzanne.
The answer must
always be presented
in the form of a question.
Well, that's stupid.
Well, those are the rules.
Oh, how did you know
the answer to that?
Oh, because I had to take
Consuela's
citizenship test for her.
Oh, okay. Dining Out for $50.
"Harvey Parker's Restaurant
raised these meal
accents to popularity."
What are Parker House rolls?
Oh, hey, that's good,
Charlene, that's good.
That's a hard one, too.
Hey, Julia, you and Mary
Jo think you're so smart.
How about Charlene
and I play you?
I don't think so. I don't
know anything about rolls.
Oh come on. What's the matter?
Don't you think you can b*at us?
After all, we don't even
know what a computer virus is.
Go ahead, Bernice, fire away.
Okay. For $50.
"His Dianetics is a
perennial best-seller."
Who is L. Ron Hubbard?
Well, L. Ron Hubbard, sure.
I mean, that's only on TV
about every ten minutes.
Well, I'm sorry, Mary
Jo, if you think it's easy.
I still got it right.
Okay Rhyme Time for 10.
"A papa who's gone wrong."
Bad dad.
"A record of a
canine's performance."
Dog log.
Does this mean that
you're playing, Mary Jo?
Well, I guess so,
if it's just for fun.
Well, it sure is. I'm not
giving out any real money.
Go ahead, Bernice.
Okay. Phobias for 20.
"Hipophobia is
the fear of this."
Large hips!
What is the fear of horses?
- Correct.
- Are you playing, Julia?
Well, I suppose I might
be just for a few minutes.
Okay, the two of you
against the two of us.
Okay Two-letter Words for $10.
"Nickname for the
Princess of Wales."
Who is Di?
"Einstein or Schweitzer
to their friends."
Who is Al?
Well, ladies,
it seems that we've got
ourselves a game going.
Magazines for 20.
"Its departments include
Periscope, My Turn, and Transition."
What is Newsweek?
Correct. Scandals for 30.
Arthur's Queen Guinevere
spent many nights...
Who was Lancelot?
- Correct.
- [chuckling]
Oh, yeah, that was
a real big scandal.
Why don't you ask us
about Donald Tr*mp?
What's the score?
Uh, Mary Jo and
Julia have $2,230,
and you and Suzanne have 90.
Why don't you ask
us about capitals?
I know all the world
capitals in alphabetical order.
"Carruthers created this
synthetic substitute in 1932."
Spandex! What is spandex?
What is nylon?
That is correct.
You know, Julia,
I mean, just the way you act
like you think
you're just superior,
the way you say it, you
know... "What is nylon?"
Can you believe them, Charlene?
They just think they
are such hot stuff.
We do not.
Famous h*m* for 40.
Ha! I know this one.
You can't tell me
I'm wrong. Liberace.
"One of the
storytelling brothers
or a way to describe his tales."
Who is Grimm?
That is correct.
Now, then, the grand total is...
You have $2,350.
I guess that's it.
I'll be going. You want
me to take those pillows
over to Claire
Alice's, don't you?
That would be so
nice, darling. Thank you.
Come on, Bernice, I'll
drop you off on the way, too.
Grimm? Grimm?
He was a famous h*m*?
I never even heard of him.
Suzanne, a h*m*
is just one word
with two different
meanings and spellings.
Oh, who cares?
Well, if I were you two,
I'd certainly bone
up on this game
before I played it again.
That was really embarrassing.
Don't you worry
about it, Bernice.
We know what we're doing.
Yeah, we're just
trying to give them
a false sense of confidence.
Next time we're
going to cream them.
Hey, it's working.
We feel very, very confident.
Know what we're
going to do, Charlene?
We're going to
get that little book
and memorize all the answers,
and then tomorrow we're going
to challenge them to a rematch.
Suzanne, that
would be dishonest.
Besides, Julia might see you.
I'm not going to do it now.
I'll come back later on
when she's in bed and copy it.
Then we will just see who's
the smartest of them all.
[doorknob rattles]
Oh, oh, someone's
trying to break in again.
[shuddering]
Oh, my leg!
Anthony! Oh, my
Lord, what have I done?
Oh, I've k*lled him!
Oh no. No, Anthony,
please, please talk to me.
I love you, Anthony.
You can't be dead.
- Please, please.
- What on earth happened?
Oh... I sh*t Anthony.
Can I fluff your pillows
or get you a little
juice or something?
No. Please just
stay away from me.
Anthony, I know
how you must feel
but the doctor says
your leg's going to be fine.
I mean, it was
just a little nick.
Anyway, now at least you
don't have to be nervous
about, you know, that
commencement speech.
Oh, I'm not nervous.
Somehow, getting sh*t kind
of puts things in perspective.
Yeah, but I mean now
you don't have to make it.
Oh, yeah. I'm going to make it.
The doctor told me that
I could go home tonight.
My grandmother drove 600 miles,
Julia took the time to
help me with part of it,
and I am going to make
it unless you have plans
to sh**t my crutches
out from under me.
I just feel so terrible.
Do you think Gandhi
will ever forgive me?
Who is Gandhi?
Your grandmother.
You know, I thought
you were a burglar.
Suzanne, you are a maniac.
It was just a matter of time
before you sh*t
somebody with that g*n.
It could have just
as easily been Julia.
What did you tell the police?
I told them you sh*t me.
What did you tell them?
I told them I thought
you were a burglar,
that you'd been in prison.
Going to press charges?
Well, now, Suzanne,
I don't think that
that will be necessary
as long as you
play your cards right.
What I don't understand is
why was she coming over here
to get that stupid
Jeopardy! Game anyway?
Because she wanted
to copy all the answers
so we could b*at y'all.
She thinks y'all
think we're dumb.
Why did she sneak
over here in the night?
You can go out and buy
that game at any store.
Oh yeah. You're right.
We are dumb.
Y'all sure he's
going to be all right?
Oh, yes, Charlene.
He's going to be just fine.
Of course he's going
to walk a little funny
for the next 50 years.
His grandmother is going
to die of a heart att*ck
- as soon as I tell her.
- [knock on door]
- Hello.
- Hi.
- You must be Mrs. Bouvier.
- Yes, I am.
And Aunt Louise and
Uncle Cleavon, come in.
- And you?
- I'm Mary Jo.
I'm Charlene
Oh, I've heard so
much about you.
We've heard a
lot about you, too.
I also heard a lot about Aunt
Cleavon and Uncle Louise.
Oh, gosh, I'm a little nervous.
Oh, don't be, honey.
We're just ordinary people.
And this is the head of
our firm, Julia Sugarbaker.
Especially honored to
meet you, Mrs. Bouvier.
Anthony's told us so many
wonderful things about you.
Thank you so much.
He's my boy.
You know, I raised him since
he was eight months old?
God never put a finer
child in any woman's arms.
Is he here?
No. I mean, well, not right now.
- Y'all want anything to eat?
- No, thank you.
Will Anthony be back soon?
Well, as a matter of fact,
that's what I wanted
to talk to you all about.
I know that tomorrow is a
very important day for you,
and this news may be
just a little tiny bit
disconcerting to you,
but you're going to
have to find out anytime,
so anyway I'll tell you.
He's had a little accident.
Oh, my Lord, he's not...
No, no, no. He's
going to be just fine.
It just happened last night.
Has he ever told you anything
about my sister
Suzanne Sugarbaker?
Is she the one that
lives in the big house
and owns a pig?
Well, yes, she did have
a pig, but it ran away.
Anyway, he and Suzanne
were here together,
and that's when it happened.
Well, basically what happened?
Basically, she sh*t him.
And so today, as
we, the class of 1990,
prepare to take
our place in life,
I am reminded of another
commencement speaker's
warning of the dangers
and disappointments
of the cold, hard world outside.
He gave his audience two
words of advice... Don't go.
But that advice arrives
a little late for me.
You see, I come from
the cold, hard world.
At 19 years old,
I went to prison,
and were it not for
a handful of people
who believed in me
before I went in
and after I came out,
I am sure I would not be
standing before you today.
My grandmother
the schoolteacher,
who decided that I would
not define my world by race
when she emptied a box of
crayons in front of me one day
and said, "Just so
you know, Anthony,
"this is what it's
all been about...
"all the hatred and suffering
and fighting and dying,
"and over nothing
more than the colors
that can be found in
a child's Crayola box."
And then she said,
"Wouldn't it be
terrible, Anthony,
"if you didn't become
"everything you
dreamed you could be
just because of the colors
in a child's Crayola box?"
I will always love
her for many things,
but most of all, I
will love her for that.
And finally, I
would like to tell you
about four other
very special women...
Four women who gave me a
job when no one else would,
who believed in me and
taught me about humor,
friendship, taste,
elegance, style,
and, well, women. [chuckling]
As a matter of fact,
because of the
generosity and foresight
of one of these special women,
I'm going to conclude
my special day
with a very important
announcement.
It is my distinct privilege
to stand before you
with this check in my hand,
a check which will now assure
the completion of what I
hope will soon be called
the Suzanne Sugarbaker Black
History Student Reading Room.
Thank you, Suzanne,
and may you be an inspiration
to people of all
races everywhere.
04x27 - Anthony's Graduation
Watch/Buy Amazon
Series centers on the lives of four women and one man working together at an interior designing firm in 1980s Atlanta, Georgia, called Sugarbaker & Associates.
Series centers on the lives of four women and one man working together at an interior designing firm in 1980s Atlanta, Georgia, called Sugarbaker & Associates.