07x24 - The Case of the Simple Simon

[bunniefuu]

(theme song playing)

(brakes hissing)

(door opening)

DRIVER:
Flagstaff, hit the pavement.

Curtain call.

Considering the hour,
my good man,

we might be
a little less clamorous.

(in English accent): Oh, I'm
terribly sorry, your lordship.

I shall try to do better
next time.

Thank you.

Mr. Doyle, the manner
in which you drove

through those mountain roads
exposes your true calling.

You're a mass m*rder*r.

Don't give me no ideas, fatso.

Where'd you get
your experience, Doyle?

In the w*r.

I drove a two-star general all
the way

from the landing beach
to Cassino.

And if you've ever been
in Italy...

Yes, I made a couple pictures
in Rome last year.

If they serve boiled coffee in
this town,

I shall leave it instantly.

Thank you, love.

And I shall walk to Los Angeles

before I'll ever ride
with you again.

Funny thing,

that's what
the general always said.

By the way, whatever happened
to the general?

Got k*lled

in an accident.

It's all right.

Are you just looking
or can I help you?

I want...

May I talk to you
for a few minutes, Miss Carver?

Oh, really love,

it's terribly late.

I've just had a ghastly bus ride

and I'm pooped.

Now, can't it wait
until the morning?

No, no, it can't.

I've got to talk to you
right now.

Really, young man,
if you expect me

to give an interview
at this hour of the night...

No, no,
my name is Douglas McKenzie.

So, you're an aspiring
young actor,

and you want me to tell you
how to break into the theater.

Oh, well, in words
of pure Anglo-Saxon...

No, wait.

I'm not an actor,

but I thought I was an orphan.

There is no excuse
for bad manners.

Now run along, little boy.

Good night.

Good night.

Miss Carver, I wouldn't say this
to anyone else.

But I think you might want
to talk to me.

For heaven's sake, why?

Because...

Because you're my mother.

♪♪

(applause)

"...shows the force
of temporal power,

"the attribute to awe
and majesty,

Wherein doth sit the dread
and fear of kings..."

How's your new assistant
working out?

Huh? Oh, him?

Well, I still have
to do most of the work but...

Say, who is he, anyway?

How come you get Fossette
to put him on?

To save your beautiful muscles,
dear love.

Why else?

♪♪

But mercy is
above this sceptred sway,

It is enthroned
in the hearts of kings.

It is an attribute
to God himself;

Ramona Carver is
absolutely wonderful.

You never told me you knew her.

A secret passion.

- Does she know it?
- Oh, I think she guessed, Della.

She sent the tickets
by special messenger.

RAMONA:
I'm not decent.

I'm sure she doesn't expect you

to bring your secretary
backstage with you.

A royal summons from Ramona
means only one thing:

she's in trouble again.

RAMONA: I'm still not decent!
Come on in.

Perry, love, you're here!

Did you think I wouldn't be?

Well, you're not showing
much enthusiasm.

Ramona, you're the finest
actress in the world,

and just as beautiful as ever.

Oh, you old flatterer!

And you, my dear,
you must be Della Street.

- Yes.
Mm-hmm.

Perry, dear,
find her a seat, will you?

I, um...

hope you're not gonna
be too... shocked,

because I'm going to make a...

terrible confession.

In... strictest confidence,
you understand.

Are you, uh, quite ready?

I think so.

years ago,

I gave birth to a child.

Well, didn't you hear me?

I have a son.

Yes, I know.

How could you possibly know?

I've never told
another living soul.

Ramona, for the past five years,
I've investigated for you

the parentage of three
different young men.

Ah, but I never told you why.

Let's say I drew a conclusion.

That was an unforgivable
thing to do!

Douglas?

DELLA:
Douglas?

Well, you do want
some coffee, don't you?

Oh, Douglas, would it
be too much trouble

to get us three coffees?

- Right away, Miss Carver.
- Thank you.

Nice looking young man.

He's our new handyman.

I felt sorry for him,
so I got him the job.

He came up to me one night

in Flagstaff, Arizona.

"I have reason to believe,”
he said,

that you're my mother."”

MASON:
What reason did he give?

Very convincing ones.

Time, place, type of blood--

oh, all incredibly accurate.

There's just
one difficulty, Perry.

The boy's a fake.

Well, how can you
be certain that...

Because, my dear, I happen
to know exactly who and where

my real son is
at this very moment.

Then-then why do you keep
this Douglas boy around?

Because, my dear,
I want to know

just how much
it's going to cost me.

But you may be sure

he's just waiting to ask
for something really big.

DELLA:
Isn't it possible,

Miss Carver, that the boy is
just making an honest mistake?

No, my dear, it is not.

When you go
digging up old secrets

and make all
the facts fit exactly,

you're either
awfully, awfully lucky...

or a great deal more dishonest.

Have you asked him
where he found his facts?

That's why I sent
for you, Perry.

That's what I want you
to find out.

Because I think that somebody
must have put that boy up to...

whatever it is he's up to.

Who could be that cruel?

Uh, Della...

I forgot to tell Paul Drake
where to meet us.

If you could reach him...

DELLA:
I'll call right away.

Perry...

I just don't know who,
that's the trouble.

I've kept it such a secret
all these years.

Well, certainly
the boy's father...

Douglas could not
have gotten it from him.

You can take my word for that.

Who is he, Ramona?

Blast it, Perry,
I am not going to tell you.

Oh... don't you get the idea

there's anything apologetic
about my memories, hm?

He was in Boston,
I'll have you know.

One of the bluest
of the blue-blooded families.

Aristocratic youth,
struggling young ingenue.

And my young prince made plans
for me to ascend Beacon Hill

to meet the family.

And then an ogre intervened.

And they found out
ahead of time,

in a nasty, cruel way,
full of lies, that...

They rushed my young prince
off to Europe,

and I never saw him again.

Al right.

But there must have been
someone else who...

No, there wasn't;
that's the whole point.

The only person who really knew,

who... whisked me off to Jersey,

who... held my hand
in the hospital

when there were complications

about a blood factor
or something,

who-who arranged
for the baby's adoption and all,

he wouldn't even expose me
to St. Peter himself.

You, uh, mentioned an ogre
a minute ago.

Oh, him.

A Broadway critic.

A lecherous old liar.

But him I fixed
a few years ago,

and he disappeared in a cloud
of his own smoke-- poof!

Do me up, will you?

So... now the ogre's gone,

and anyway, I doubt if
he had enough facts to...

(door opens)

Jack, I will not have you
storming in this dressing room

-without warning!
- But it's my favorite vice,

and I must say, my love,

this is the least
compromising situation

I've ever discovered you in.

Oh, go to...

Mr. Mason, John...
Sylvester Fossette.

Delighted.

Last call, Ramona.
On to Santa Barbara.

The wagon rolls in minutes.

Perry Mason?

Hm! Extraordinary.

Sorry I took so long,
Miss Carver.

That's all right, Douglas.

I, uh, think Mr. Mason
would like to talk to you.

Yes, sir?

Douglas...

why do you believe
you're Miss Carver's son?

Because Sam told me I was.

My foster father, Sam McKenzie.

It was never any secret
about my being adopted.

But, well, he never
let on that he knew

who my real parents were...
until he got sick.

Then I guess he figured he'd
better tell me before he died.

He died recently?

No, sir.
Uh, March of last year.

Why did you wait for more than
a year to approach Miss Carver?

I didn't. I...
I almost did it last summer.

When you were in Chicago.

I was working there, and...

I waited outside your hotel.

She came out
looking like a queen.

I got so rattled, ll...

I couldn't say
anything except...

"May I have your autograph,
Miss Carver?”

I've still got it.

I don't remember.

People are always asking
for autographs.

I must say, you didn't
seem very intimidated

in that coffee shop
in Flagstaff.

I was so scared my knees
were rattling.

If you hadn't looked quite
so tired, and...

not so overpowering, I...

I think I would've
chickened out again.

It's too bad you didn't,
Douglas.

Because the truth
is that you are not my son.

Well, I don't understand.

What do you want to say
a thing like that for?

Pick up your kit, Miss Carver?

Oh, you got it, Mac.

No, he has not got it.

Douglas is leaving
the tour tonight.

Well, I knew it was
too good to last.

Just, one moment, please.

Douglas, I think
you've been misguided.

I'd prefer to believe

that it was neither
deliberate nor malicious

so I've, uh, made you
out a check.

Mr. Mason may have some papers
for you to sign.

I'll let him handle that.

Here.

Goodbye, Douglas,
and good luck.

$ , ...that's, uh,

a lot more than I expected,

but then I don't know
how badly your conscience

is bothering you.

Let us have no hard feelings,
please.

Let us have no feelings at all,
Mother.

And no papers to sign, huh,
Mr. Mason?

Thanks very much,

but I've already
got your autograph, remember?

Oh, Perry,

did I do it so badly?

I wish you had let me handle it,
Ramona.

Come on, Ramona.

Doyle is threatening
to leave without you.

Sorry, Perry, I...

Send me a bill, will you?

I don't know what to say.

Excuse me.

Well, it seems the drama
wasn't all on stage tonight.

Paul arrive?

Yes, just in time to see the
young man storm out of here.

I told Paul to follow him.

That was all right,
wasn't it?

Or is it all over?

I hope it's over, Della,

but I certainly wouldn't bet
$ , on it.

, , and carry , .

Ooh. Hmm.

Will you kindly cease

making that meaningless noise?

If I have added incorrectly,
simply say so.

SCOTT: Oh, you don't
add at all, Jack.

You just pick a number.

Well, if I were
a mathematician, my boy,

the bloodhounds
of the tax bureau

wouldn't be baying at the door.

Since the subject seems
to be high finance...

Purely academic, old man.

PENROSE: Rather like my
percentage.

What was your decision
on that?

All decisions are made
by Mr. Simon Weatherly.

You as nominal producer

of this band
of strolling players,

were responsible
to bring it to his attention.

From now on,
I'll handle it myself.

His address, please.

Uh, Helferstorffen...

sixteen...

Geneva, Switzerland, according
to a letter I received today.

There's a paragraph
here somewhere for you.

Oh yes.

"Please remind Mr. Guy Penrose

"that in rejecting a percentage
in favor of a straight salary

"he implied an insufficiency
of confidence

"for our little tour
in its primal stages.

"Therefore, I feel that in all
fairness to yourself,

"John, and to dear Ramona,

"I must advise Sir Guy

to abide by his contractual
agreement.”

Let me see that letter.

He does have a rather
old world style, doesn't he?

He's senile.

Why do you say that, Guy?

There's a...

tidbit for you here,
Scott, my boy.

"I was happy to read
the good notices

-"on the new replacement...
- Well.

"...the young man's name
slips my memory.

Most gratifying."”

You know something,
I wish he'd come over here

and see a performance
for himself.

He may...

when he reads the notice

we're liable to get
in Santa Barbara.

Mr. Penrose ,if you sabotage
this company out of spite...

You are offensive, sir.

I have been a trouper
for years and I

shall continue to give
a performance.

Of course,

it won't be good enough
for Mr. Ogden G. Kramer.

Who?

Kramer, I thought he was dead.

Oh, moribund possibly,
but still lethal.

Who is Kramer?

Among other things

he appears to be a...

a cinema reviewer
on the Santa Barbara newspaper.

I'll k*ll him in cold blood.

PENROSE:
Splendid.

RAMONA:
It's the same

Ogden Kramer all right.
Listen.

"This quaint little movie,
'The Lost Princess',

"demonstrates once again
Hollywood's unparalleled skill

in mixing no talent
with bad taste.”

I thought it was a good picture.

PENROSE:
My dear boy,

you should've been around

when he was
reviewing on Broadway.

For example...

Any schoolboy will remember,

that Medea, was a sorceress

who k*lled her own children.

Ramona Carver as Medea...

...was inspired casting.”

What are you laughing about?
Well, I think it's vicious.

So the old ogre is still alive.

Maybe he did know.

Kramer's apparently
with the local university.

A part-time instructor

in the Drama Department.

Oh?

Heaven help them.

How absolutely divine.

Reunion in Santa Barbara.

Phone call, Mr. Mason.

Did you tell Paul
we'd be here?

Yes, but I didn't expect him
to have anything tonight.

Hello?

Yes, Paul.

Perry, I'd like to tell you
your troubles are over, but...

Which troubles?

Well, Della told me that
that young kid Douglas McKenzie

was trying to shake
down Ramona Carver.

Possibly, but I don't
really believe...

I know, I thought
he'd dropped it, too.

I tailed him from the theater.

He went to his hotel,
packed a bag,

and grabbed a bus out of town.

And what was his destination?

That's the hitch.
Santa Barbara.

Thanks, Paul.

Operator, I'd like
to send a telegram.

DOYLE:
Santa Barbara!

Come out and meet your public.

Welcome to Santa Barbara,
Mr. Fossette.

Uh, we're here to represent
the university and,

if it isn't too late, to get an
interview for the student paper.

It is never too late for
the members of the press.

May I introduce my fellow
troupers: Mr. Guy Penrose,

Mr. Scott Everett,
and Miss Ramona Carver.

How do you do?

What is your favorite
Shakespearean play, Miss Carver?

GIRL: May I have
your autograph, please?

DYKER: When are you
going to be leaving?

GIRL :
And what have you been doing?

Oh, isn't this lovely!
Look at this...

Well, good evening, Miss Carver.

It's a pleasure to
have you with us.

Thank you, thank you.

CLERK:
Would you register, please?

RAMONA:
Yes, of course, I'd adore to.

The beast in view.

Kramer?

Downstage center.

Get rid of him.

Keep all blunt objects
out of Ramona's reach.

Mm-hmm.

- There!
- Thank you.

Now, you must all come
and see us backstage.

-(murmuring)
- Oh, great, Miss Carver.

Oh, Miss Carver,
there's a telegram for you.

Oh, thank you so much.

Uh, will you excuse me?

Of course they will.

I'm sure you understand,

it's been a long,
exhausting evening.

Keep moving or they'll
start all over again.

What? Oh, yes...

Thank you all
so much for coming.

Good night!

STUDENTS:
Thank you, Miss Carver.

- Good night, Miss Carver.
- We'll see you backstage.

Not here, Ramona.

Not in front of witnesses.

Good night, sir, awfully nice
seeing you again, old chap.

RAMONA:
Ogden G. Kramer!

Uh, Ramona...
Ramona, please.

Oggie, darling, it's been years.

How are you?
Oh, dear heart.

Come along, you and
I must get together

and have a marvelous chat
about absolutely everything!

Yes, but Ramona...

Of course I can drop
everything, but...

What's the $ , for?

Paying off somebody?

Now, listen!

Don't do a thing until I get
there, do you understand?

And...

Ramona? Ramona?

(audience clapping rhythmically)

Another five minutes and that
mob will storm the footlights.

Did you call the hotel?

Well, naturally I called.

They haven't seen her since
she registered last night.

Well, did you ask
for Ogden Kramer?

Did you call his house?

Maybe he's got an office
right here on the campus.

I trust you are aware, Madame,

that the curtain should have
been up minutes ago?

Well, the audience
is still here.

And the cast will be here too,
until well after midnight!

Well, shorten the second act,

you've done it
time and time before.

Miss Carver, your lawyer's
been here twice... Mr...

Mr. Mason?

He says he's got
something for you, and...

And I've got a performance,
darling!

So tell him I've
changed my mind, or...

tell him I'll have
supper with him later, or...

Ramona! Please.

Well, what are we waiting for?

Is the curtain stuck?

And all our yesterdays
have lighted fools

the way to dusty death.

Out, out, brief candle.

Life's but a walking shadow,

a poor player who struts and
frets his hour upon the stage,

and then is heard no more.

It is a tale told by an idiot,

full of sound and fury,

signifying nothing.

...to die, to sleep... no more.

And by sleep to say
we end heartache

and the thousand natural shocks
that flesh is heir to...

Hi.

You, uh, you looking for
somebody backstage?

I seem to have
missed Ramona Carver.

The janitor said he thought
everyone was gone.

He's checking for me.

Ramona Carver?

Skip it. Come on.

You know where she is?

Well, I think I saw her.

I've been waiting to pick up
the professor's review

for the student paper.

Doesn't seem to be
anyone at home.

DYKER:
Oh, here it is.

He just left it
in his typewriter...

- Don't touch a thing!
- Huh?

NM-Mr. Kramer.

And he's dead.

I'm sorry, sir,
Miss Carver isn't in her room.

You might try the rathskeller.

- The police called a few moments
ago and ... -Thank you.

(indistinct chatter)

Mr. Penrose?

You, uh, are Mr. Penrose?

What's in a name?

Well, at least a method
of identification.

My name is Perry Mason.

Oh, th-the barrister--
Ramona's to be precise.

Yes, I was told
she might be in here.

N-Now, listen.

Can you hear her voice?

No.

Ramona has many
sterling qualities,

but the virtue of silence
is not one of them.

Therefore we may assume that
she is not among those present.

Mr. Penrose, I'm in a hurry.

Oh, please don't take advantage
of my condition.

I'm drunk, sir.

I am drunk.

You, um...

manage it very well.

Poor consolation.

You see, Mr. Mason,
I drink out of frustration.

I've been ill-used
in money matters.

That's a common complaint.

Who did it to you?

The system, the boss.

In my case,
an absentee producer.

Simon Weatherly?

Simple Simon.

(chuckles)

And that's the cream
of the jest, Mr. Mason.

When he hears what's happened
in old Santa Barbara...

(laughs)

What do you mean?

Say, haven't you heard?

The final curtain came down
on Mr. Ogden G. Kramer tonight.

I'm the one
who reported the m*rder.

Don't look so glum, Mr. Mason.

You should have no trouble
in securing an acquittal.

For who?

Oh, my dear fellow.

Ramona has detested
that creature for years.

Do you know why?

Oh, I suppose, like most feuds,
the reasons are lost

in the mist of antiquity.

But do know this much.

She had him drummed out of the
critic's corps for misconduct.

And perhaps one shouldn't take
Ramona's word too literally.

Although, when she promises
to k*ll someone in cold blood,

you rather...
you rather believe her.

I suppose everyone has heard her
say something to that effect.

You don't think any of us would
repeat that to an outsider.

We call ourselves the
Company of Four for good reason.

See no evil, hear no evil,
speak no evil.

That's only three.

The fourth... is greed,

which makes liars of us all.

And I also lied

when I told a policeman
I didn't know where

Ramona might have gone
after the performance tonight.

Al right.

Where might she have gone?

She was invited for supper
with Jack Fossette.

Well, of course.

Of course you'd like
to find her.

Surely you don't think
she's cowering in the next room.

(chuckles)
Ramona?

Is it possible she went to
Ogden Kramer's office

after the performance tonight?

Certainly not.

One of the students
believes he saw her there.

Ramona would sooner keep
company with Jack the Ripper.

Look here, the man's m*rder
is hardly surprising, old boy.

He who lives by the poison pen
shall die by the...

Whatever it was,
I certainly hope it wasn't

anything so prosaic as a . .

He was struck on the head,
with great v*olence.

Ah.

Yes.

And Ramona is of
a violent temperament.

But your student is mistaken.

Ramona came straight here

and only left me
a very few minutes ago.

(phone ringing)

Excuse me.

Fossette.

Yes, Doyle.

Good work, good work.

The posse has been outwitted.

Fair Ramona has been
spirited into the seclusion

of our gilded chariot.

Shall we speed to the rescue?

You meet me at the theater
in half an hour.

I'll take care of Ramona.

The money?

Oh! Oh, yes, yes, yes,
the money.

Oh, Perry darling,
I do hope you've chucked it

in the ocean by this time.

Why?

What did you plan to do
with it, Ramona?

Listed bills usually mean
a trap of some kind.

And since I'd telegraphed you

that young Douglas was here
in Santa Barbara,

you thought that Ogden Kramer

put Douglas up to this act,
didn't you?

Obviously.

If I bought the truth out of
the creature with marked money,

then I could have had him
arrested for extortion.

But you changed your mind.

You didn't want the money.

Female prerogative.

Ramona, don't you believe
that Scott Everett is your son?

Now, how did you find that out?

You spent most of yesterday
with Kramer.

Did you learn something
from him about Scott

which caused you...

Now, Perry love,
this is all absolute trivia.

Then why didn't you meet me
after the performance?

Jack Fossette wanted to talk
to me, that's all.

I thought it would
only take a few minutes,

but then I'd found
he'd ordered supper and...

Ramona, what did you
eat for supper?

I had lobster and salad.

I had coffee with two lumps
of revolting sugar.

-I had...
- DOYLE: Police!

We've checked with the hotel,
Miss Carver.

They confirm your story.

Naturally.

Up to a point.

The waiter is convinced you had
supper in Mr. Fossette's suite,

but he's not quite as positive
he actually saw you there.

I believe I was out of the room
combing my hair

when he wheeled the table in.

- Lobster and a salad.
- Mm.

I assume you ate it.

Didn't you check
the empty plates?

Yes, I did.

But the thought occurs
that Mr. Fossette

could have eaten both meals.

That is an impudence, sir.

My girth is due to
a glandular imbalance.

Sorry.

The fact the waiter didn't see
Miss Carver in the room

doesn't mean she wasn't there.

On the other hand,
we have the statement by Dyker.

Oh, yes, the charming young man

who interviewed us
for the student paper.

He claims he saw you entering
the dead man's office.

Well, I thought it was you,
Miss Carver.

But, well, she says
she was at the hotel.

Maybe I saw somebody else.

You're going to change
your story?

Well, if I made a mistake.

Never mind.
I'll talk to you later.

Now, let's get this straight.

The curtain came down at : .

In the review he wrote,
Kramer criticized in detail

your changed second act program.

You changed it as
you went along, as I understand.

So it's obvious that Kramer
dashed over to his office,

sat there typing for minutes,
maybe a half hour,

before his k*ller
interrupted him.

He had been dead for at least
an hour after that

when you walked in, Mr. Mason.

At : , that's right.

So, now, Miss Carver,

during the half hour
after the curtain came down...

The lobster was broiled.

The salad had the most repulsive
Roquefort dressing...

Mr. Fossette, was she with you
continuously during that period?

I've already given you
my word for that, sir.

Really, how many times
must I repeat...

Mr. Rogers.

Will you step out here, please?

Mr. Rogers is with
the tax department.

Would you mind explaining

why you were at
the performance tonight?

Well, Mr. Fossette here
owes the government

an extremely large sum
in back taxes.

So that's who you are.

The local bloodhound.

Go on, Mr. Rogers.

Well, it's the policy
of the bureau

to make spot checks
on these delinquent accounts.

Tonight, Mr. Fossette was
handed some cash receipts,

so I remained here
in the theater

until after the performance

and then followed him
back to his hotel.

SANDIFER: You mean you followed
Mr. Fossette

and Miss Carver, don't you?

ROGERS:
No.

Miss Carver was still
in her dressing room at the time

Fossette left here.

Then she joined him
in his hotel room

a few moments later, perhaps?

No, sir.

Not unless she went
up the fire escape.

I was watching.

Nobody went into that room
except Fossette,

the waiter and finally him.

SANDIFER:
Thank you, Mr. Rogers.

I think that does it.

Now, Mr. Fossette...

would you care to confirm
Miss Carver's alibi again?

Blast it.

Ramona, I'm sorry.

Al right.

Miss Carver, we'll continue this
at headquarters.

I'm sorry, too, Perry.

But I shall not go quietly.

Mr. Fossette
had given me permission

to watch from backstage.

That's how I could see
Miss Carver

when she left the theater.

Let's be a little more exact,
Mr. Dyker.

You testified that she came out
of the auditorium hurriedly.

But if you were backstage,

how could you tell
which direction she took?

Oh, you see,
I wasn't backstage then.

You see, Mr. Fossette
had this cab

waiting outside the stage door
so it could take him

to his hotel room
the minute the show was over.

When the curtain came down,
he asked me to go outside

and see if it was still there.

That's when I saw Miss Carver
leave the theater

and start for
Professor Kramer's office.

- Start?
- Yes, sir.

You see, some students came
running up to catch her.

And she was still
signing autographs and stuff

when I went back into
the theater.

But then you don't know for sure
that she eventually continued on

in the direction
of the decedent's office?

Yes, sir. You see, I came
outside the theater again

several minutes later
with Mr. Fossette.

I was walking him
toward his cab.

When he left, I saw Miss Carver

break away from the students and
start hurrying across the quad

to Professor Kramer's office.

All right, then let's summarize
this laboratory report.

Inside Dr. Kramer's office,
you found threads of red wool

on a jagged chair edge.

SANDIFER:
Which matched the skirt worn

by the defendant that night.

D.A.: And on the glass top
of the desk?

SANDIFER: Miss Carver's
clear fingerprints, both hands,

as though from
resting her weight on them.

D.A.: And on the wooden floor
beside the body?

SANDIFER:
Miss Carver's fingerprints.

D.A.: So despite her statements
at the time,

there is just no question about
it, Ramona Carver was there.

She telephoned just shortly
after I reached my hotel room.

Yes, I concede that.

But what did she say?

Please be more specific,
Mr. Fossette.

Ramona didn't explain anything.

She seldom does.

But she seemed upset.

She said, "Please, please,
be a love and...”

cover for her absence.

And so, sir, you did
the gentlemanly thing

and sacrificed yourself
by eating two lobsters,

two salads, two desserts.

(laughter)

(gavel tapping)

(D.A. continues questioning)

Perry, don't be angry.

I'm just a liar, that's all.

Well, you see, I was in a panic.

I went into Kramer's office,

and there was
that repulsive old ogre

lying all dead on the floor,
and all I could think of

was how often
I'd wanted to k*ll him.

...with the company?

You who hired her
at the unusually large

percentage of profits
that her contract calls for?

But I was honored
to have her as a costar.

Ramona Carver is a theatrical
luminary of the first magnitude.

That doesn't answer
my question, sir.

Then I suspect
you haven't asked it yet.

Would you say,

based upon your long,
theatrical experience,

that the percentage is
unusually large?

It is generous.

What about the other
three members of the company?

Our salaries
are all adequate, sir.

Quite adequate.

D.A.: A lifelong friend,
acting producer,

and your compensation
was adequate?

How is this disparity
explained to you?

Or is there some
special relationship

existing between Ramona Carver
and Simon Weatherly?

Shh.

FOSSETTE:
They have been friends.

Would you say,
based on your knowledge,

that this relationship
was younger than,

or possibly older than,
oh, say for comparison sake,

the age of Mr. Scott Everett,
for instance?

FOSSETTE:
Well, let me see.

If memory serves,

about the time Scott Everett
was born,

Simon Weatherly was producing
a Broadway show

in which Ramona played, um...

D.A.:
Yes, Mr. Fossette.

FOSSETTE: Well, look here,
why don't you ask Guy Penrose?

He was the star of the play.

It was Miss Carver's debut
in the theater.

Brilliant, brilliant debut.

In August of that year,
she withdrew from the company

for reasons of health.

Now, there are records
that I can introduce, but

perhaps you recall these matters
yourself, Mr. Penrose.

I recall
she was hospitalized, yes.

According to the Mercy Hospital
in Jersey City,

on September tenth of that year,

Ramona Carver gave
premature birth to a child.

Now do you recall?

She did what?

Ramona?

D.A.:
A child. Yes, a boy.

...I didn't know.

But the name of the father
was never entered.

Now, perhaps you can help us,
Mr. Penrose.

I will not be a party
to gossip.

I know absolutely nothing
about Ramona's personal life,

nor would I discredit
that wonderful woman

in any way if I did!

D.A.:
Very well, then.

I call Mr. Scott...

I would, uh, like to
cross-examine if you don't mind.

Sorry, Counselor.

Mr. Penrose, you've known
many newspaper critics

in your time, I imagine.

Oh, oh, yes, it's unavoidable
in the theater.

From your personal knowledge,
isn't it possible

an experienced critic
could write his review

of a performance in,

oh, as few as ten or minutes,
perhaps?

PENROSE:
Oh, I really don't...

Your Honor!

I'll withdraw the question.

Thank you, Mr. Penrose.
That's all.

D.A.: I call Mr. Scott Everett
to the stand.

Yes, sir. I was acquainted with
the decedent, Professor Kramer.

D.A.:
When?

Well, a few years ago, I was
in one of his drama classes.

You see, he took an interest
in my career.

D.A.: To the point
of actively helping you?

SCOTT:
In a way.

He told me the Company of Four
was going to need a replacement

and advised me
to see Miss Carver about it.

Why Miss Carver?

Wasn't the hiring being done
by Mr. Fossette?

SCOTT: Yes, but he wanted me
to have a friend in court.

It's not an unusual approach
in show business.

How did he suggest you go about
enlisting Miss Carver's support?

Professor Kramer suggested
I let her know I was an orphan.

He suggested
you let Miss Carver believe

you might be her son,
is that correct?

Ramona, I'm sorry.

Look, I didn't mean any harm.

I really am an orphan, and...

What else
did Mr. Kramer suggest?

Well, nothing!

He really didn't know much
about her child,

or I don't think he did.

Anyway, I figured out
more things myself than he...

I asked you a question,
Mr. Everett. Please answer it.

What Kramer told me?

Well, to send him a little money
every now and then.

D.A.: He expected a cut
of the money you earned?

I sent him a few bucks when
I could afford it, that's all!

And maybe a little extra

when I got presents or anything
from Miss Carver.

Now tell us what else
Mr. Kramer told you later on.

You mean on the day
of his m*rder?

D.A.:
Of course.

SCOTT: Well, I saw him
late that afternoon.

You see, I sort of figured out
who my father might be.

Only when I said something more
about it

to Mr. Kramer, he blew up!

He was all nervous.

He'd done his own investigating,
he said.

I had a job.
What else did I want?

Go get lost, he said!

That's what he said.
He said, "Go get lost!"

Did he speak to you
about the defendant?

Yeah. That's what
he was so upset about, I think.

He said he was going
to see Ramona after the show.

Me-- I should just stay away.

He'd cook his own pigeons,
he said.

Now, let's get this straight,
Mr. Everett.

Just for the record.

Now, you are an orphan, true.

But do you know
where you were born?

Yes, sir.
I was born in Sioux City, Iowa.

There is a record there.

So Ramona Carver
is not your mother.

But now this father
of her real child,

whom you believed
you had identified,

whom you spoke
to the deceased about...

Oh. Yes, of course.

That's Simon Weatherly.

Simon's the father.

(laughing)

(gavel banging)

Simon wasn't the father.

I told you that.

No, it really was
that boy from Boston.

Boy who got k*lled
in an accident

without ever knowing
about the baby.

But Simon Weatherly arranged
for the adoption, am I right?

Yes, he paid my bills
and took care of me.

I suppose that's how any snoop
would get the idea...

Ramona, in trying
to find your son,

why didn't you get in touch
with Simon?

Why, I did.

I-I wrote him several times,
but he didn't answer me.

I-I don't know why.

Paul Drake's waiting now

for an overseas cable
to clear this up.

Oh, Perry love,

what difference
does it all make now?

Well, it's-it's obvious
I k*lled Kramer

to stop him
from blackmailing Simon,

or I k*lled him because...

Here.

I am not going to cry!

(sobs)

Is that cable from Switzerland?

Does it say with whom

Simon placed the baby
for adoption?

I'm sorry, Ramona, no.

It's not an easy contact and
not an easy country to dig in.

It doesn't really matter.

Hmm?

I know who my son is.

DRAKE:
You what?

It's, It's obvious.

It has to be that nice boy
from Arizona,

that boy Douglas!

Isn't it wonderful?!

Mr. Everett, about a month ago
you made a quick trip to Europe?

Yes, to loop some dialogue in
a picture I'd made there.

And while you were there,

you managed to find a few hours
to visit Davos, Switzerland,

in the sanitarium where Simon
Weatherly has been

a patient for many years?

Yes, I did go there.

After what Professor Kramer had
told me, I, well, I was curious.

And as long as I was there,
I thought...

You thought if Ramona Carver was
good for hundreds of dollars,

perhaps Simon Weatherly,
the supposed father,

-would be good for thousands.
- No!

Perhaps even hundreds
of thousands.

No, no! They wouldn't let me
see Weatherly!

They wouldn't let me in!
That's what I told Kramer!

Mr. Kramer is hardly in
a position

to verify your contention.

But nobody can see
Mr. Weatherly!

Check it yourself!
He's in a mental institution!

Yes, I know.

Mr. Everett, on the night
of the m*rder,

were you onstage immediately
before the final curtain?

Let's see. The last reading was
from Macbeth.

That was Mr. Fossette
and Miss Carver.

So you were not onstage?

No, neither was Mr. Penrose.

For how long, Mr. Everett?

How long was that last scene?

Ten, minutes.

But look, we were there
for curtain call!

I didn't leave the theater once!

They might have changed
the program again!

We often change
our program, Mr. Mason.

It's to accommodate
our time schedule.

You do this as you go along?

Yes, yes, rather like a football
quarterback changing signals

as he comes up
to the line of scrimmage.

I see.

But before the reading from
Macbeth with Miss Carver,

didn't you announce it
to the audience

as the last number on
the program?

Yes, yes, I did.

From your experience with
newspaper critics,

couldn't Ogden Kramer have
left the theater

ten or minutes
before curtain time

and still have been able
to write a satisfactory review?

FOSSETTE: Without staying till
the end? Yes, yes.

The man certainly knew
his Shakespeare.

I suppose he could have
made up something.

Your Honor, there's been
no groundwork laid

for questioning of this kind

when I agreed to let the witness
return to the stand.

Your Honor, I'm quite willing

to go back
to the mental institution

where I'm sure there has been
adequate groundwork laid

by the prosecutor.

In bringing up the subject of
Simon Weatherly, that is.

So perhaps you can clarify

Mr. Weatherly's present position
for us, Mr. Fossette.

Nothing remarkable, Mr. Mason.

Simon is an old, old man,
an invalid.

Who no longer sees visitors.

Who no longer has a family to
watch out for his interests.

Whose affairs are all handled
by banks, administrators.

Old partnerships with anonymous
Swiss accounts.

I'm afraid I don't comprehend
the question.

Mr. Fossette, are you one
of those old partnerships?

I really fail to see...

Do you write the letters that
supposedly come from Simon?

Have you used your old
friendship with the man,

perhaps even an old partnership
account,

to set up an evasion
of income taxes?

I think I have a right
to counsel of my own

before I answer
that sort of insinuation.

Insinuation?

Yes, Mr. Fossette,
it is difficult

for private investigators
to uncover much more

than the fringes of this sort
of thing in a foreign country.

But won't Internal Revenue
do better?

Won't they find that you,
not Simon Weatherly,

are the real and only producer
of the Company of Four?

That you take such a small
salary only to build up

larger profits in
some Swiss bank?

Your Honor, I refuse

to answer that question on
the grounds of...

And isn't that exactly what
Ogden Kramer found out?

No! No, that's not true!

What did he want? A cut?

A share of those
hidden proceeds?

No! You're trying to say
I k*lled him, and I didn't!

If it wasn't Ramona,
maybe it was Penrose or Scott.

That whole second act
I was onstage!

There was a cab driver,

that student was with me
the whole time afterward!

Even the Internal Revenue,

the tax man watching me in
my hotel.

Oh, yes, you're the only one
with a perfect alibi

for the supposed time
of the m*rder.

Supposed?

I heard nothing in medical
testimony indicating

that Ogden Kramer couldn't have
been k*lled

an hour or so earlier... during
intermission, for instance,

between acts one and two.

But the review, Kramer reviewed
the last act he reviewed

the last act
before he was k*lled!

The changed program!

And the football quarterback
changing signals, remember?

Aren't you that quarterback?

Didn't you k*ll him
during intermission?

Write those words in the
typewriter yourself,

and then change
the program to match?

I'm sure that's all
for this witness, Your Honor.

Ah, thank you, son.

Please. You promised there
wouldn't be any of that,

not till we're sure.

Oh, nonsense.

Perry, look at this boy,

his carriage, his grace.

Oh, that's my son, all right!

Maybe. We're still
investigating, you know, and...

And you, my love, better come up
with the right answer

or I promise to k*ll you in
cold bl...

Oh, dear.

Perry, what is going to happen
to Jack Fossette?

I'd suppose he'll be tried as
quickly as possible.

We live in a pagan society.

But Perry, is it really so
terribly wrong...

to k*ll a critic?

(theme song playing)