06x15 - Payne Comes Home

[bunniefuu]

♪ Georgia

♪ Oh, georgia

♪ The whole day through

♪ This old, sweet song

♪ Keeps georgia on my mind

♪ Oh oh

♪ Oh, georgia, now, my georgia

♪ Ah, you hear me, georgia

♪ No peace, no peace do I find

♪ This old, sweet song

♪ Keeps georgia on my mind

I thought that was pretty good.

Captioning made possible
by columbia pictures

Television, inc., Cbs
television network,

And the coca-cola company

This is a letter
from my son payne.

I met him when he
came home last fall.

Well, that's right.

Seems like a long time ago.

Oh, it sure does.

Allison and I hadn't
been here very long.

We hadn't even met bernice yet.

You want me to make up
that room for your son?

No, carlene, thank you.

It's been a while since I
had somebody to do for.

I can't wait to meet him...

And his wife.

All the way from new york.

Know what I think when
I think of new york city?

That picante sauce
commercial where they say,

"New york city?"

Seen it?

Afraid not.

Well, you should see it.

It's cute.

I'm certainly going
to keep that in mind.

Carlene.

Hmm?

You know, there's
a recession on,

And people are cutting
back on nonessentials

Like decorating right now.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Whenever a customer
walks in that door,

We have to make the
best possible impression...

Instantly.

What's your point?

My point is, do you really
think it's a good idea

To be chowing down
on a big piece of poultry

And licking your fingers?

Well, see, that's the
way it's advertised...

"Finger-licking good."

No, carlene.

That's the way they
used to advertise it.

Then they went for a
more upscale audience...

People that don't lick
themselves clean after meals.

Oh, well, yeah, I
guess you're right.

I'm sorry.

Oh, I do want to learn

To be a more sophisticated
businesswoman,

Like you.

I'd be glad to help you.

Just follow my lead.

Whenever a customer
walks in here,

We treat them like
royalty. Understand?

I think so.

Good.

Hi, everybody.

Well, who the hell are you two?

Hello.

Welcome to sugarbaker's.

May I take your coat?

All right,

If you promise to give it back.

Come right over
here and sit down.

Would you like some tea?

Carlene, get the lady some tea.

I would be delighted.

Welcome, madame.

Now let's talk about

What we here at
sugarbaker's can do for you.

We're a full-service company.

We do commercial,
residential, and industrial.

And it's a delight to have
you in our workplace.

Lemon or milk?

Lemon, please.

All righty.

Here you go.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

What have you done

With the people who
used to work here?

Have you been here before?

I think so.

Tell me,

What did you come
in here looking for?

I came here looking
for someone to take me

To that new ernest movie.

O.k., If you have anything
to go the merchandise mart,

Get it in the van.

I'm on my way.

Anthony, thank god you're here.

Bernice, how are you?

Just fine.

Who are these two women?

Bernice,

They work here now.

This is carlene,
charlene's sister.

And this is allison,
julia's cousin.

And this is mrs.
Bernice clifton,

An old and very dear friend
of the sugarbaker family.

Oh...

We thought she was a customer.

Oh, dear.

I hope that doesn't mean

You're going to
stop kissing my butt.

I thought I heard payne coming.

It was you, bernice.

How you doing?

Oh.

It's good to see you.

Did you meet everybody?

Oh, yes, yes.

You know, I like this girl.

She's going to take
me to see ernest.

Who's ernest?

Oh, julia,

You got to be kidding me, right?

Ernest is that guy
that goes, "hey, vern."

I mean, ernest is
a big movie star.

Back home, ernest goes to camp

Was held over six weeks.

We got a lot of
movies back home...

Dead poets society
and pretty woman...

But when ernest came to town,

My ex-husband dwayne
dawber would always say,

"Well, finally, a movie about real
people who have real problems."

Carlene, I think it's obvious

You should be the
one to take mrs. Clifton

To this movie.

You're not backing
out on me, are you?

Jack, jack, no trade back.

Hi, y'all. I'm home.

Oh, come here, you.

Hello, mother.

Well, everybody, here he is.

Bernice, I don't think
you've met my son payne.

This is mrs. Clifton,

Carlene dawber,

You know your cousin allison,

And, of course...

Hello, everybody.

Where's sylvia?

She's not coming.

She's in california,
visiting her parents.

I guess I can understand that.

They probably want to see her

The way I want to see you.

Us parents, we can't get enough.

I can't believe
you're really here.

I missed you so much.

I'm glad to be here.

There's something about
the house you grew up in.

It just feels safe.

Gee, doesn't seem to
be much room in here.

Well...

Wow! You kept these!

You never did finish
assembling those,

Did you?

I thought you'd appreciate

My keeping your
things here for you.

We could open those
boxes in the attic.

I'll do that this week,

And I can help you
around the house.

Don't worry about that.

You should rest now.

You look awful tired.

Ah, I'm o.k.

Um, maybe I'm not totally o.k.

Life in the big city
is wearing me down.

What about your job?

Aren't you enjoying it?

Publishing is not as exciting
as I thought it would be.

Basically I'm a
glorified proofreader.

That's not true.

You're right...

I'm not glorified.

Those first couple years
after college can be hard.

Think of it...

You have the
responsibility of a wife,

Career, bills.

But that's what they
call being an adult.

Would you not swoop your
airplane while I'm talking to you?

Sorry.

That's o.k.

Finish packing, so I
can give you supper.

We're having some
of your favorites...

Beanie weenies,

Pineapple upside-down cake.

That's really not my favorite
food anymore, mother.

It's not?

Mothers always think if
you like something once

You'll like it forever.

I used to like breast milk.

I couldn't get enough of it.

But you don't have to
have some in the fridge.

Well, I hope you'll stay
long enough this time

For a good visit.

We'll have plenty of time.

Uh, sylvia and I are separated.

Payne.

Why?

We're just kind of
stressed out, you know?

Not really happy anymore.

You know we got married because
we thought she was pregnant.

When it turned out she wasn't,

We wondered why
we got married at all.

You were right.

We were way too young.

I didn't say that.

You thought it.

Yes, but I didn't say it.

Payne,

It's your life.

I try to remember that.

But have you and sylvia
discussed this thoroughly?

We talked and talked
and talked and talked.

I don't think we
could talk anymore.

It's best that we live apart.

She'll stay there...

Where will you live?

Well...

Here?

Trailers.to: watch full hd movies & tv shows
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And so then ernest said,

"How about a bumper sandwich,

Booger lips?"

And then ernest ran
him over with his truck.

Another landmark
moment in the cinema.

I hear they consider
ernest a genius in france.

I just love this girl.

She really tells it like it is.

For example,

We went out to the candy
counter during the show,

She was going to buy
me a box of raisinettes.

And the clerk said,

"That will be $4.50."

And she said, "$4.50?

For a box of raisinettes?"

And he said, "that's right."

And she said, "I was going
to buy a tall popcorn

"And a box of jujubes.

Will I need to apply for
a bank loan, booger lips?"

I tell you, she's a
straight sh**t.

Your cab's here, bernice.

Oh, I'm ready.

I'll call you about saturday.

What's saturday?

That would be the
monster truck rally.

Bye, everybody.

Bye, bernice.

Bye, bernice.

Well, well, well.

It looks like bernice has
herself a new best friend.

Morning, everybody.

Good morning, payne.

How y'all doing?

Good morning, payne.

How do you like being back?

It's great to be home.

Your mama said you're
tired of new york.

It's fine for some people,

But I've had too
many bad experiences.

I even got mugged.

Oh, my goodness.

I was having the worst day.

My wife and I had a fight,

And I was walking it off

When this guy
says, "I've got a Kn*fe.

Give me all your money."

And he seemed sort of o.k.

I mean, for a mugger.

I said, "I'm having
the worst day ever.

"Could I keep my wallet

And enough money for a beer?"

What did he do?

He hit me.

And then he let me keep $2.00.

And people say new
yorkers aren't nice.

Well,

I know you and allison
both lived there,

But I never could.

It's noisy, it's expensive,

It's full of crime.

Yes,

But the opera and the
ballet are exquisite.

Oh, you went to the
opera and the ballet.

Well, no.

Nobody ever does.

But we know it's there,

And it's exquisite.

Payne, you're up.

I know what you're going to say.

You want me to
go up to the attic.

I wasn't going to say that.

Sleep well?

Pretty good.

Want some breakfast?

I can fix it myself.

No, I'll be glad to.

How about an omelet?

Sounds good.

Toast... White or whole wheat?

Whole wheat.

O.k., Now,

We have orange juice...

Mother.

Grapefruit juice...

Orange juice is fine.

Orange juice? Got it.

Will he sit here in his
bathrobe all day again?

Oh.

I...

Have you ever noticed

That when you're holding
the remote control,

You can go through 150 channels

And everything looks so stupid?

But when somebody
else is holding it,

Everything looks so good.

Why is that, anthony?

Well, carlene,

I guess it's one of those
unsolved mysteries.

Payne?

Payne?

Come have your juice.

Your eggs are almost ready.

O.k.

Oh, I put your
laundry in your room.

I didn't iron your blue jeans.

You don't like that.

You didn't have to do that.

But I like to.

O.k. I'll indulge you.

She's as happy as a bird.

Yes, well,

That's how it is for mothers.

You want your kids to
be completely independent

And self-sufficient...

And to need you desperately.

My quint's at an age now

Where he's embarrassed
to even have a mother.

He's too cool to ride
the bus to school.

He wants me to drive him,

But he's too cool to be
seen getting dropped off.

I have to drop him off

At the graveyard
across the street.

But a lot of mothers
started doing that,

So I don't know what
we're going to do.

Maybe I'll have to
wear a false beard

And drive a laundry van

Just to get him to school.

You know, I saw
something like this on 20/20.

It's called "return
to the nest syndrome,"

And it's an epidemic.

They had an accountant,
a lawyer, and a dentist,

And they all live
with their mommies.

They say there
in suits and ties,

Going, "it's really a
business arrangement.

I live over the garage.
It's like an apartment."

The whole time, mother
is spitting on kleenex

And wiping sonny's face with it.

I don't think
that's so terrible.

That spitting on
the kleenex thing,

Yeah, that's bad.

I don't like that.

But where I'm from,

You're not expected
to move a thousand miles

To prove you're grown up.

In fact, when dwayne
dawber and I got married,

He objected when we moved

Just three houses
down from my family.

He said it would cause
problems in the marriage,

But I'll tell you, it
was real convenient,

Having them close by.

There came a time
when we fought,

And dwayne was
disrespectful of me.

When your husband is not
treating you with respect,

It is real convenient

To have your mama come
on over and whup him.

She did that to your husband?

I mean, he was
acting up real bad.

Besides, she didn't
actually whup him.

She figured that once
she took him outside

And made him cut that
switch off that tree,

Her point was made.

Maybe we're overreacting.

I think payne just
wanted a little vacation.

No. He is planning
to quit his job,

Divorce his wife,

And move back here permanently.

How do you know?

Anthony, please.

Julia, is my cousin.

Payne is my second cousin.

We're family.

And you know what
families do with each other.

Eavesdrop?

That's right.

What does julia feel
about him moving back?

Part of her knows it's not good,

But the other part's
glad to have him.

I'm telling you, this is
the parental paradox.

You want them to get big,

But you want
them to stay little.

It's like when I was
first married to ted,

I was about 20

And knew my parents
did not like the idea

Of us having sex
under their roof..

I felt like telling them,

"Hey, look,

"Between raggedy
andy staring at us

"And daddy snoring
with the door open,

You don't have
to worry about it."

But then of course,

They'd spend the whole vacation

Nagging us about supplying
them with grandchildren,

As if the two things were
completely unrelated.

You ate awfully fast.

It's not good to bolt your food.

I know, mother.

You've lost weight.

I'll help you gain
some of that back.

Oh, wait, you got
something on your face.

I told you I was going to
go through those boxes.

They're my boxes, not yours.

They say "payne."

Yeah, well, they're things
of yours that I've saved.

College textbooks,

Your high school
swimming ribbons,

Baby clothes.

I feel like an archaelogist.

I keep getting through
to different layers.

Payne, I'm so glad
you came back.

Sometimes I feel so
alone in atlanta now.

I don't really have any
family I can turn to anymore.

Well, mother,
you've got allison.

As I said,

I don't really have anybody.

Payne,

There are two things
I have to say to you.

The first is,

It's been heaven
having you here with me.

What with reese
having d*ed last spring,

And suzanne going off
to japan with mother,

I haven't had as
difficult a year

Since your daddy d*ed.

It's been terribly
lonely for me.

Having you here
these past three weeks

Has probably saved my life.

It's going to be o.k., Mother.

I know.

And what's the second thing?

The second thing is,

You have to go.

Mother!

You have to go.

It's time, darling.

When you married that girl,

You made a promise.

You have to go back now
and face your responsibilities.

That has nothing to do...

Payne, let me finish.

I should have said something
about this a few days ago.

I must confess,

I was being selfish.

I just wanted you here.

But now I've been going
through these boxes,

And I realize that
what I have here

Is my little history of you.

It's things that allow me

To keep a little piece
of you close to me.

And I've decided

I won't throw any of them away.

I'm going to keep
all these things.

Then I've also realized

That means I can't keep you.

Mom...

You're not throwing
me out, are you?

I always thought
home was the place

Where they have to take you in.

Yes, but it's not
a place to hide.

I know sylvia's
been calling you.

You have carlene and
allison tell her you're out.

Well, I'm not ready
to speak to her yet.

Darling,

I'm glad this was a happy place

For you to grow up.

But payne, you cannot
return to childhood.

I don't want to return
to my childhood.

I want to return to the womb.

Oh, payne.

It's rough out there, mother.

Being an adult bites it.

Payne! Language!

Sorry, ma.

See, I still need you to
keep me in line sometimes.

Looking forward to the day

When you don't have
to do that anymore?

Not necessarily.

Payne, you leaving already?

I decided to go last night.

You need a lift?

I called a cab.

Well, goodbye, payne.

How I envy you,
returning to the big apple.

Well, come up and
see me sometime.

Hey, payne,

I was going to
give you this penny

To throw off the empire
state building for me.

I heard it will flatten out

To the size of a dinner plate.

But allison told me that
it would be dangerous.

And stupid.

And stupid.

You just throw it
into a fountain for me?

O.k.

And I also heard
that if you spit

Off the empire state building

In really cold weather

That it freezes before
it hits the sidewalk.

It was great
meeting you, carlene.

Well.

Take care, payne.

See you, anthony.

There's my cab.

Goodbye, mother.

Bye, darling.

All grown up?

All grown up.

Bye.

But he's still my baby.

I heard that.