07x25 - Theo and the Kids: Part 1

[bunniefuu]

This Is Going To Be Good.

Good Morning.

Good Morning, Mom.

Rudy And I Made Breakfast
For Everybody.

Oh, Great.

So, All I Have To Do
Is Get Some Water For Tea.

(Pipes Banging)

Uh-Oh.
You Know What That Means.

Dad Will Get Out
His Tool Belt.

The Pipes
Will Be All Over...

Your Father Is Not Going
To Touch That Sink.

Mom, If He Hears It

You Can't Stop Him.

If He Hears It.

We Have To Keep Him
From Hearing It

Until I Get A Plumber
Over Here, Okay?

Good Morning.

Good Morning, Love.

Vanessa:
Hi, Dad.

Good Morning.

What Are You Doing?

I Am Going To Have

(British Accent:)
A Nice Glass Of Water,
You See.

Let Me Get That For You.

But Dear, I Don't Want
Any Kettle Water.

It's From
The Same Tap, Dad.

Did You Think
I Thought It Was Coming

From The Well?

It's All H o.

Low In Cholesterol.

Yo. What's Up?

Good Morning.

Hey, Big Brother,
Come To See Me Off?

Nope.

I Want You To Have A Safe Trip

But I Came To Pick Up
A New Jacket For My First Day.

Your Clothes Are Not Here.

Come On, Dad.

Did Orientation Go Okay?

Great.

Orientation Went So Well

I Think This New Job
Is Going To Be A Cinch.

Job?

You... You Got A...

Yes, A Job.

It's Part Of His Internship
From School.

You Have A Job.

Dad, Come On, You Know
Internships Don't Pay.

Well, Then It's Not A Job.

Well, I Haven't

Heard About It.

Because It's Not A Job.

You're Looking At The New
Seventh-Grade Junior Counselor

At Benjamin Banneker
Community Center.

You?

I'll Be Working

In An Afterschool Program
With Kids Your Age.

Do They Know
Who They're Getting?

Rudy, Your Brother
Is A Very Responsible Person.

Responsible?

The Same Guy Who Was Going
To Move To New Jersey

With Monopoly Money.

If You Don't Mind,
That Happened A Long Time Ago

And Your Brother
Has More Than Made Up For It.

He Has A Job Now

And That Doesn't Pay
Any Real Money Either.

But This Is The Same Man
Who Was Going To Shave His Head

To Be In A Video.

Let's Not Dwell In The Past.

Thank You,
Mom.

Ever Since I Chose
Pediatric Psych As My Major

I've Always Wanted
To Work With Kids

And Now, I Got My Chance.

I Think You're Choosing
A Very Promising Career Path.

Student Counseling
Could Be A Real Money-Maker.

I'm Not In It For The Money.

I Want To Give Back
To The Community.

You Could Give Back
To The Entire Nation.

You Could Start Your Own Chain
Of Afterschool Programs

Across The Country.

I Told You,
I'm Not In It For The Money.

We Know That.

Look, Theo, I Understand
That You're Dedicated

But There's Nothing Wrong
With A Little Profit Motive.

Think Of It--
Seminars, A Home Video Course

Franchises, Man, Franchises.

Good-Bye, Vanessa.

See You Guys Later.

Thanks For Breakfast.

Where Are You Going
With That Syrup?

Oh, Sorry.

There You Go.

See You Later.

Come On, Theo,
Call Me About This.

Mom And Dad Could Lend Us
The Seed Money.

Where Are You Going?

Two Reasons:

Number One,
She's A Brilliant Person

But I Never Could Eat
Vanessa's Cooking.

Number Two:

I'm Going To Get My Tool Belt
And Fix The Pipe Under The Sink.

Oh, This Is Cute.

I Used To Do This
In Grammar School.

Hey.

Go, Theo! Go, Theo! Go, Theo!
Go, Theo! Go, Theo!

Yes!

Any Challengers?

Is There Anyone Who Would Like
To Do Better Than That?

Don't Pull.

There You Go.
Pick It Up.

Pick It Up.

Five, Six, Seven...

And Touch It,
And Touch It.

Back, Back,
Front, Front

Back Kick.

Five, Six,
Seven, Eight.

Right, Left,
Middle, Out.

One, Two, Three.

Whoo, Hey, You Guys,
That's Great.

I'm Theo.
I'm The New Counselor.

That's Cool.

Wow!

Well, You Seem
Very Happy Today.

Oh, Mrs. Hudson,
I Am Indeed.

Good, Because Enthusiasm
Is Important.

Mrs. Hudson,
Enthusiasm Is Me.

I Get The Feeling
You're A Changer.

I Beg Your Pardon?

My Junior Counselors

Usually Fall
Into One Of Four Categories:

There's The
"I'm Just Like You" Type--

They Want To Be
Everybody's Pal

The "Over-Empathizer"--

They Feel Sorry
For Everybody

The "Authority" Type--

They Tell Everybody
To Sit Down And Shut Up.

And Then There's

The "I'm Going
To Change The World" Type.

To Be Honest,
I Think My Category

Is "I Just Hope
I Don't Fall On My Face."

That Makes Two Of Us.

Okay.

Mrs. Hudson, What's This?

Oh, I Call That
My Wall Of Achievement.

Of Course,
The Kids Refer To It

As Hudson's Heroes.

But We've Got Lawmakers,
Community Leaders, Dentists...

Wow, That's Cool.

All Right, All Right,
All Right.

You See, I Believe
There Is No Such Thing

As A Kid
Who Cannot Be Influenced

Either Positively
Or Negatively.

Now, Our Job Is
To Stress The Positive.

I've Had My Share Of Instructors
Whose Idea Of Teaching

Was To Tell Everybody
To Sit Down And Shut Up.

That's Not Me.

I'm Glad.

You'll Be Taking Over
The Rosa Parks Group.

Okay, I'll Be Taking Over
The Rosa Parks Group.

My Group.

All Right!

If You'll Come With Me,
I'll Show You Your Room.

My Room.

All Right!

Are You Going
To Keep Doing This?

I'm Almost Afraid
To Give You Your Key.

After They've Finished
Their Homework

And You've Checked It

Then, And Only Then

Are They Allowed
Extracurricular Activities.

And That Does Not Mean

Roaming The Halls Or The City.

We Wouldn't Do That.
Oh, No.

Now, I Want You All To Meet
Theo Huxtable

Your New Junior Counselor.

What's Up?
What's Up?

If You Need Me,
I'll Be In My Office.

Thank You.

All:
Bye, Mrs. Hudson.

Good Afternoon.

Okay, Rosa Parks Group.

Let's Say You Get Started
On Your Homework

And I'll Come Around
While You're Working

And I'll Talk To You
Individually.

Yo, Theo Huggable,
What Should We Call You?

Actually

It's Huxtable,
But Call Me Theo.

What's Your Name?

Stanley.

How You Doing?

Where Are You From?

Brooklyn.

Are You Married?

No, I'm Not Married.

Where Did You Get
Those Clothes?

The Store.

You Like Those Clothes?

Very Much.

Let's Get With
This Homework.

Yo, Man,
What School Did You Go To?

N.Y.U.

You Like It?

You Got A Girlfriend There?

Time For Questions Later.

I Know You Got English Or Math
Or Something To Do

So, Let's Hit It.

Can't You See The Man Wants Us
To Do Our Homework?

We're Ready, Theo, As Soon
As You Give Us Our Snack.

All:
Yeah!

Snack?

We Always Have A Snack
Before Homework.

He's Right, Sir.

The Rule Is Snack,
Then Homework.

He's Right, Man.

Mrs. Hudson Never Mentioned
Anything About A Snack.

Well, She's Getting
A Little Old, Sir.

Sometimes She Forgets.

I'm Usually The One That Goes
To Her Office To Remind Her.

Wait, Wait,
Excuse Me...

Uh... Stanley,
Sit Down, Man.

All Right, You Want A Snack.

All:
Yeah!

Okay, What Should Our Snack Be?

Maybe... I Don't Know...
Pizza?

(Cheering)

Yes,
Everybody Likes Pizza.

Now, Pizza Usually Comes In,
What?

Eight Slices.

Now, Since There's, Uh...
Of Us

We'll Need...

Two Pizzas.

There You Go.

Two Pizzas.

One, Two.

Now, If All Of Us Were To Have
Just One Slice

What Percentage
Of The Second Pie

Will Be Left Over?

None.

Eugene And I Plan
To Eat It.

Okay, Cool

But What Percentage Do
You And Eugene Plan On Eating?

And, If Only Half Of Us
Wanted A Second Slice Of Pizza

What Percentage
Would Remain?

And...

Forget About It.

We're Not Even Hungry.

Since No One's Hungry

I Guess We Could Get Back
To Our Homework, Huh?

Are You Sure
You're New At This?

Forget It, Man,
This Guy's A Pro.

All Right, All Right.

Good, Good.

Hey, Stanley,
What's This, Man?

Hey, I Know My Notebook
Looks A Little Messy

But That's 'Cause
Everything's Up Here.

Oh, Isn't That Cute.

Stanley:
Yo, Theo.
I Got To Go

To The Bathroom.

Okay, But, Uh, You Can Go

But You Got To Be Back
In / Of An Hour.

All Right, Man.

How Much Time Is That?

Well, Sit Down, Figure It Out
And Then You Can Go.

I Don't Have
To Go That Bad.

Yo, Well, I Do.

Theo, Five Minutes?

Five Minutes.

Five Minutes.

Guys, Guys.

Let's Synchronize Wrists.

Starting...

Both:
Now.

(Boys Shouting)

Yeah, What's Your Name
Again, Man?

Rahim.

I've Got To Go

To The Bathroom.

You Can Go
When The Guys Come Back.

They're Back.

I Believe
These Two Belong To You.

I Sent Them To The Bathroom
Ten Minutes Ago.

Their Sense Of Geography
Is A Little Off.

They Were
On The Basketball Court.

Have A Seat,
Fellas.

I'm Sorry...

It's Okay.

We Just Wanted
To Let You Know

That We Did Go
To The Bathroom.

We Just Had Three Minutes
Left Over.

You Know--

/ Of A Hour?

The Game Took A Little Longer
Than We Thought.

About A Twelfth
Of An Hour Longer.

But Don't Worry,
We Won.

We Upheld The Honor
And The Dignity

Of The Rosa Parks Group.

Yeah!

(Chanting:)
Rosa, Rosa...

Yo! Yo!

Come On,
Chill With That Noise.

Get Back To Your Homework.

(Chanting:)
Rosa, Rosa

Rosa, Rosa...

Hey, Guys!

Guys! Guys!

Rosa.

Rosa.

Rosa.

Rosa.

Rosa.

Rosa.

Rosa.

All:
Rosa! Rosa! Rosa! Rosa...

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Now, I Want Everybody
To Sit Down And Shut Up!

Hi, Dr. Huxtable.

Hey, Honey.

What Are You Doing?

Well, I Got Some Air Trapped
In The Pipe

And I Have To Let It Out.

Can I Help?

Yeah, You Can Be

My Assistant.

All Right!

When I Ask For A Tool
From Up Here

You Hand It To Me, Okay?

Okay.

Do You Need Anything,
Dr. Huxtable?

Oh, No, No, Not Yet.

Oh, Here's The Tool Family.

Hello, Mr. Screwdriver.

(Deep Voice:)
Hello, Olivia!

And You Must Be...

Hmm...

Dr. Huxtable?

Huh?

What Is This?

Oh, That's A Wrench, Honey.

A Wrench.

Hello, Mrs. Wrench.

(High Voice:)
Hello, Mr. Screwdriver.

This Is Our Daughter,
Baby Screwdriver.

She Looks Just Like Me.

(Laughing)

I Have To Go To Work Now.

Bye.

Bye.

Olivia?

Yes?

Olivia, I Need
The Big Screwdriver, Please.

Mr. Screwdriver's Not Here.

He Went To Work.

I Need The Screwdriver--
Now, Okay?

He's At The Plant.

Well, His Job

Is To Be Here With Me, Okay?

Not At The Plant.

Now, Give Me
The Yellow Screwdriver, Okay?

I Can't.

Baby Screwdriver's Taking A Nap.

Uh, Do Me A Favor.

Hand Me The Screwdriver

With The Big,
Yellow Handle

And Give Me
The Right One, Please.

All Right.

♪ You Got The Right One, Baby. ♪

Uh-Huh.

All Right, Class.

Now, Yesterday We Got Off
To A Bad Start

But Today,
We're Going To Have Fun.

Later On, In Arts And Crafts

We're Going To Make Belts
Out Of Leather

But First You Got
To Do Your Homework

So Let's Get To It.

Stanley, You Too.

I Ain't Got No Homework.

You And Leticia
Are In The Same Class.

How Come She Has Homework?

'Cause She Ain't
As Smart As I Am.

At Least I Didn't Get A "D"
In Social Studies.

That "D" Is Wet.

I Know That Stuff.

They Make Those Questions
To Fool You.

Do You Have A Test There,
Leticia?

Let Me See Your Test.

All Right.

Now, Stanley,
You Know These Answers?

That's Right. Ask Me Anything.

Who Was Eli Whitney?

He Invented The Cotton Gin.

What About Robert Fulton?

He Was The Steam Engine Man.

Who Was James Madison, Stanley?

He Was A President.

The Question Is

"Which One Of These Men
Is Not An Inventor--

Eli Whitney, Robert Fulton
Or James Madison?"

See? They Don't Ask
Them Questions Right.

He Doesn't Read Too Well.

I Read Better Than You.

Oh, Yeah?

Then Read This,
And Read It Fast.

I Don't Have To Read
Nothing For You.

Wait, Wait, Wait.
Hold It.

Hey, Leticia, Leticia.

Don't Mess With Me.
Don't Mess With Me.

Uh, Leticia, Please,
Just Finish Your Homework.

All Of You Guys,
Finish Your Homework.

Come On, Stanley,
Let's Take A Walk.

We're Going Out
In The Hallway Now.

I Want You Guys
To Do Your Homework, Behave

And I'm Leaving The Door Open.

Come On.

I Don't Care
If He Leaves

The Door Open.

I'll Do What I Want.

So, Go Close It.

I'm Doing My Homework.

You Go Close It.

I Don't Care What Leticia Say.

I Know How To Read.

Listen, I Believe You.

Then Why Dis Me
In Front Of The Class?

Look, Stanley,
I Just Want You To Know

That I Know How You Feel.

Yeah, Right.

Do You Like To Read?

Why?

Forget About That.

When You Read,
Do You Read Fast Or Slow?

Let Me Tell You Something
About Myself.

When I Read, I Read Real Slow

And When I Was Younger,
Kids Used To Tease Me

And I Used To Be Embarrassed
By It.

What That Got
To Do With Me?

Yep.

I Used To Act The Same Way.

Look, Man

My Handwriting Is Sloppy,
My Notebook Was A Mess.

That Sound Familiar?

Maybe.

Last Thing I Wanted To Do
Was Read.

I Know What You Saying.

You Know What
I'm Saying.

Stanley, You Know
What I'm Saying!

Come Here, Man.

I Want You
To Read Something...

Right Here.

It's Just Me And You,
Nobody Else.

What You Want Me To Read?

This Passage On
The Declaration Of Independence.

All Right, Here We Go.

Right There, Man.

"The Dee-Cluh..."

Oh, "The Declaration
Of Independence

"Was Sig...
Sig-Ned By The Memories...

Sig-Ned By The Memories."

All Right.

That's
"Signed By The Members."

Yeah. That's What I Meant.

"Signed By The Members."

All Right,
Now, That's A Big Word.

We Can Sound It
Out Together.

Both:
"Con-Ti-Nental.

"Con-Tie...

"Con-Tin-Ental.

"Continental... Con-Gress.

Continental Congress."

See? I'm Smart.

Yeah, Man, You Are.

So Then Why Do I Feel So Dumb?