01x20 - More Fang for Your Chuck

[bunniefuu]

Previously on So Help Me Todd...

- You have a nemesis?
- MARGARET: Natalie Harris.

The most conniving
woman you'll ever meet.

LAUREN: It's really nice
that you guys are friends

and everything's fine.

- TODD: It is fine, right?
- ALLISON: Yes.

Even Peter thinks it's fine,
and I told him everything.

TODD: Wait, are you serious?

Peter is not threatened by you at all.

TODD: He's an amazing
guy, and you deserve him.

- Mom, are you okay?
- I think Harry has left me.

HARRY: I'm gonna go to
Iceland and live in a hut

and farm and be naked under the stars.

- Chuck, we have to talk.
- TODD: I still can't believe you left him.

I'm outside Multnomah Falls Arena,

where over the last
month, big money giveaways

to lucky Golden Ticket winners
have electrified Portland.

And today one lucky fan will win...

$ million!

All right, hockey fans, congratulations

to our winner, who is sitting
in tonight's lucky spot.

Section , row , seat .

Come get your check, yeah!

Whoo! All right, Widow fans,

I will see you at Friday's game

for our final giveaway

of $ million!

[MASCOT CHEERS]

- Whoo!
- Man.

Man. Do you know what I can
do with a million dollars?

Put up new curtains in the garage?

What? Chuck, no.

It's a million dollars. I'm not gonna

live in a garage if I
have a million dollars.

I mean, hey, I love
living in your garage.

I love never cleaning.

I love you bringing me
Pop-Tarts at : a.m.

You're welcome.

But no, if I had a million dollars,

I could open my own P.I. firm.

Would you take on personal cases?

Like domestic stuff?

- Like marital stuff?
- Like Allison?

Uh, maybe.

Allison, I think showing up

for Chuck's work functions
while separated shows hope.

Shh. Mom, his coworkers don't know.

I'm just here as a favor, or
to keep up appearances, or...

I don't know, I'm here.

Allison, it is sweet. It shows empathy.

You care, and because you care,

don't you think that
your marriage deserves

- a chance in therapy?
- [SCOFFS]

Look, what do you need to know?

Is she ever coming back?
Is she seeing somebody else?

Does she still love me?

Please, please, Chuck, no, do not cry.

Again. Okay? This is
your place of employment.

I mean, Allison, I know bad marriages,

and this, trust me,
is not that. [STAMMERS]

A little bit of work

- and you can be having children.
- I'm just confused as to why you seem

so concerned about my marriage

- as opposed to me...
- Because I want you both to be happy.

I appreciate that.

And you are now squatting in my condo.

You said you didn't
want me in a shady Airbnb

- in Southeast.
- No, well, I don't but...

- Oh, this guy.
- Hey, Bumpy.

- This guy!
- This guy. Are you kidding me?

- [GRUNTING]
- This guy? What about this guy?

Well, thanks to this guy,
Widows games sell out now.

This is the genius behind
the Golden Ticket Giveaway.

Go, boys!

[BUZZER BLARES]

[CROWD CHEERING]

- Sorry. Hi.
- Oh, thank God, thank you.

I thought they were out of these again.

Yeah. Okay, just don't eat them fast,

like you did last time, okay?

Don't want another
situation with meat for you.

I'm mostly just trying
to escape from Mom.

Yeah? Moving in with her
part of this exit strategy?

No. My Airbnb is being fumigated.

And it's actually really
much more convenient.

I can take the tram from her apartment

to the hospital, and...

Am I shame-eating these?
Is that what's happening?

- [BUZZER BLARES]
- Oh, come on, Gersen, get back on D!

Let's not get lazy now.

Oh, defense! Come on, Gersen!

Oh, look, it's your ex,

who's engaged to someone else.

Is that him, the
multimillionaire in his own box?

Hi. Would you like to have
a conversation with me?

- She kissed me.
- What? When?

It doesn't matter.
Nothing came of it, so...

Aren't you dating Amy, the Rose Empress?

Yes, well, she's back at Cornell now,

- so we're doing long distance,
- Uh-huh.

which means she's probably
going out to dinner with

future lawyers and judges.

- You know, men who don't live in garages.
- Garages, yeah.

You should move on.

For your own good.

Susan's about to get married.

You don't want to pine.

I'm not pining. That's
not what this is at all.

Are you kidding me? Look at yourself.

Your face is pine. I'm not...

You smell like a
pine-scented Yankee Candle.

That is my cologne, okay?

- It's very earthy.
- [INHALES DEEPLY]

Just, you don't want to further
complicate things with Susan.

I thought you said Peter was a nice guy.

TODD: [SCOFFS] Yeah, he's the best.

Well, he's very rich, if nothing else.

Caramel apple, brownie caramel bites.

Hmm, what else is caramel?

Oh, enjoying the sweet life, I see.

[CHUCKLES] Yeah. Much better than
the nosebleed seats we used to get.

- Are you still afraid of Fang?
- I'm not afraid of Fang.

I just think that if your
team name is the Widows,

a more appropriate mascot would be

a g*ng of dead husbands.

So you're scared of spiders,

but not of a g*ng of corpses?

Yeah, I'm not scared
of a g*ng of corpses

because zombies aren't real. Yet.

[LAUGHS]

SUSAN: Do you remember
when we won front row seats,

and Bronovich got punched, and his blood

- splattered all over the glass in front of us?
- Mm-hmm.

- SUSAN: And then his tooth...
- TODD: Flew right into my mouth.

Yes. I mean, how could anyone
forget that, let alone me?

- Susan.
- Oh, hey.

- There you are. Todd, my boy.
- Hey, Peter.

We were just talking about
this brawl that we saw here,

and this tooth.

It's a long story.

Um, you really should have sued.

Yeah, well, had you
been a lawyer back then,

maybe I would have.

We would have won.

We definitely would have won.

How far we've all come.

- That's right.
- All right, then.

We'd best be off, love.

- Okay.
- Bye, Peter.

[SIGHS]

No one's gonna cut this cake?

Mm, you should call your P.I. firm

All the Wright Investigations.

Hmm, that name suggests that

all other investigations are wrong.

Oh.

- I love it.
- Right?

Yes, I do! By the way,

how much more Zamboni time do we have?

Oh, about more minutes.

- [SNAPS FINGERS]
- great minutes.

Yeah. Hey, did I tell
you about my inspiration

- for the Golden Ticket Giveaway?
- WOMAN: Chuck Grant?

- That's him.
- That's me.

I'm Special Agent Fox.

This is my partner,
Special Agent Carter.

We'd like to ask a few questions.

Oh. Okay.

Dude, that's...

- [PHONE RINGING]
- Ugh. Allison,

- your phone is ringing.
- Ooh.

Yeah, it's Chuck. I
will call him back later.

Allison, I can do all
of that in the morning.

There is no hope for your
marriage if you don't talk.

He calls me all the time
asking where his shoes are,

- or how to turn on the dishwasher. He's...
- He's Chuck.

I want to empty this out
so I can put my spoon in.

Hand-washing takes half a second.

No, thank you. There are thousands

of bacterial strains on a sponge.

- The dishwasher sterilizes it.
- Okay, but please,

Allison, the bowls go over here.

- And glasses open end up.
- [PHONE CHIMING]

- ALLISON: Okay.
- [CHIMES]

- That's your phone.
- Oh.

Well, it's... Oh, it's just Todd.

- I'll talk to him later. Ooh.
- [PHONE RINGING]

Chuck is calling again.

He is a grown man. I will call him back

when I'm done helping you with this.

Well, it doesn't help to put
things in the wrong place.

Oh, for crying in the night,
would you answer your phone?!

- You're not answering Todd.
- He's calling again.

It could be an emergency.

It's not. I promise you it
is not an emergency, Mom.

Stop! Don't touch my phone.

Hi. Why are you ignoring my texts?

- Chuck is in trouble.
- I seriously doubt that.

- Pick it up!
- Pick it up!

Okay.

Chuck, what's going on?

CHUCK: Hey, glad you answered.

I only have a second.
We're on a little bio break.

What? A bio break from what?

He is being interrogated at
FBI headquarters right now.

Todd, don't be ridiculous.

Chuck interrogated. FBI.

Yeah, we're really just chatting.

They're very interested in
the Golden Ticket Giveaway.

It's no big deal. Oh, hey,
they're back. Gotta go.

- Wait, don't hang up.
- Call a lawyer!

Oh, my God.

There's no world where
that's not a big deal, right?

No, there is not. Grab your coat.

FOX: Wow.

- Mm-hmm.
- I've never met anyone who

invented a lottery before.

- Well...
- [CHUCKLES]

How'd you pick out the winning seats?

Darts. I put the seating chart

over the dart board in my office,

and wherever that dart landed,
that was the winning seat.

Totally random. It's pretty cool, huh?

Thank you, Justine.

- I owe you one.
- Thanks.

Who else knows about
the winning seat numbers,

in advance of the giveaway?

- The giveaway.
- CHUCK: Just me.

It was a secret I kept in my heart.

It's all you.

- Mm-hmm.
- It's all on you.

You're the only one at the
center of this whole thing.

Yep.

Oh, my God, he's implicating himself.

For what? I don't know.

I've got to get in there.

Those prize winners have me to thank.

Me, and me only. Chuck Jebidiah Grant.

Stop, stop, stop.

I'm shutting this down.
I am this man's attorney.

Margaret Wright, you
don't have the authority

to shut anything down.

Mr. Grant refused counsel,

and he's our witness, not your client.

Natalie Harris.

I should have known.

♪

I just can't believe this is real.

Well, that's exactly how
I felt when Harry left,

but Todd kept me calm and we
solved the problem together,

- and that's exactly what we're going to do now.
- [ELEVATOR DINGS]

Margaret, a word.

Oh, of course.

Uh, uh, uh, uh,
Allison, you go on ahead.

I'll be right there. [CHUCKLES] Okay.

- Yes?
- Margaret, I need you to be my second chair

on a federal security fraud trial.

- Oh, well, when are the trial dates?
- Today, : p.m.

We are halfway through
the plaintiff's witnesses,

but the intent threshold is impossible,

and it's not looking good.

Beverly, I wish I could, but I have...

Not the right answer for
someone in the running

to be named partner.

I would love to be your second,

b-b-but I have a trial case,
a federal case of my own

that is occupying all of my time.

I'm very serious about
this promotion, Beverly.

Mm. I appreciate the fawning.

It's not gonna help
me win my case, is it?

Why won't the Feds tell us
why they're investigating him?

Because they're the Feds.

Legally, they don't have
to until an arrest is made.

But they will have an airtight case

when the handcuffs come out.

That is why their
conviction rate is so high.

This is terrifying, right?

We have to investigate
Chuck like they would.

So, Chuck, why don't
you start with telling us

everything that they asked you.

Um, they asked me about Mitsy Mulgrew.

The $ , prize
winner? Did you know her?

Well, I met her a month ago
when she won the prize money.

You know, to fill out the paperwork.

Mm-hmm, and I guarantee you
they've already talked to her,

which led them right back to you.

Who's the only person who knows

which stadium seats will win.

- Mm-hmm.
- It's fraud.

- It's fraud.
- ALLISON: Yeah.

They think Chuck used

his list of winning seats
to choose the winners

and get kickbacks from those who won.

- MARGARET: Yes.
- CHUCK: What? No. I would never do that.

That's illegal, and dishonest.

Chuck, we need to prove your innocence

before they prove your guilt.

Okay, I'll get to Mitsy Mulgrew
and do a background check.

And I'll ask Lyle to reach out to Alex,

our new forensic accountant.

- Forensic accountant?
- Why? What's that for?

Alex will do a deep dive
on all of your finances,

all of your accounts, everything.

We need to prove that
there is nothing suspicious.

We need to find what Natalie will find

before Natalie finds it.

Wait, all of our accounts?

We're both being investigated right now?

What are we supposed to
do while that's happening?

Support each other.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

You must be Alex.

I'm not sure what Ms.
Wright was thinking,

but as a Mensa scholar
I am more than capable

of handling our internal

forensic financial investigations.

- And I don't need anybody...
- I'm a client here.

And I'm Alex.

Lyle? Hmm.

Um, in order to do my job,
I will need bank statements,

tax filings and any
other investment accounts

that Chuck and Allison Grant might have.

- [SPRAYING]
- I'll also need a...

space of my own.

Mensa? That's fantastic.

Y-Yes. I... well, I qualified when...

Files are over there
where we keep the...

Conference room. It's a room where...

Space. Lots of space where we...

I can show you. If you come this way.

[SNAPS FINGERS] No, no.

It's over this way.

- [PAPERS SHUFFLING]
- LYLE: sh**t. sh**t.

Wait, so, Mitsy, how are you broke now

if you won the $ ,
prize three weeks ago?

Listen to me. To win that money,

I had to agree to cash the check,

and put half of it in this
weird blue leather bag,

and leave it at the drop-off.

This is going in the Sentinel?

Uh, online Sentinel.

Uh, digital. It's more of a blog.

But, um, anonymous, right?

Oh, yeah, it'll be like
no one will ever read it.

So, wait, you said a blue leather bag?

Yeah. With the initials
"C.G." monogrammed on the side.

Wait. C.G.? Is that...

Are those the initials of the person

who set you up with all this?

I have no clue.

The whole thing was done over the phone.

It sounded like a
robot on the other end.

- A robot?
- It told me what seat number to buy.

I bought the seat, I sat in the seat,

and I won.

Then I just had to
drop off half the money.

Though, believe me, I
wish I hadn't done it.

Because the Feds found out?

Because Uncle Sam took
the other half in taxes.

So I'm broke again.

This phone number you called,

um, how'd you get that?

No.

I shouldn't even have said this much.

But it's anonymous.

I signed a piece of
paper with that uptight

U.S. attorney lawyer lady,

and I can't talk about this anymore.

[SIGHS]

I do have a blue monogrammed bag.

Yeah, it's my gym bag. Why?

It was used in the kickback scheme.

- What? No. That can't be right.
- Yes.

Although that bag did go
missing about a month ago.

Missing? From where?

From my office.

But nobody here would steal it.

All my coworkers are
my friends. I love them.

I mean, you could ask Janet,
ask Francisco the janitor...

No, no, no, Chuck,
we're not asking anyone.

- Skippy, Bob...
- Look, Chuck,

no one knows there's an
investigation happening,

- and we need to keep it that way.
- That's right.

Otherwise the person running the scam

is going to shut it down,

- and you will take the fall for it.
- Mm-hmm.

So what am I supposed to do,

just keep coming to work and act normal?

As normal as possible, for you.

You're already walking weird.

- Just walk normal, Chuck.
- What are you doing?

You're still strutting, Chuck.

Hey, Bob, great job.

Frankie. He sh**t, he scores!

- You don't have to greet everyone, bud.
- Carol, hardworking, as always.

Hey, Beatrice, this
is Todd and Margaret,

my brother and mother-in-law.

Must have missed the "bring
your in-laws to work" memo.

[CHUCK LAUGHS]

- She's hilarious.
- Good afternoon, Beatrice.

May I ask how long you've been here?

Since : this morning.
But at the company,

years.

- Wow. Is that a Harold Nevins?
- Yep.

I love that baseball card
more than my first husband.

Yeah, that thing's worth,
like, over grand.

You must have a pretty
healthy side hustle.

You selling Girl Scout cookies?
Candle parties? Bitcoin?

Oh, yeah. I'm a TikTok influencer.

[CHUCK LAUGHS]

See? Hilarious.

Okay, my office is right here.

Spider! Aah! Death venom. No, no.

Todd, it is a mascot costume.

It's just back from being repaired.

Are you okay?

Yes, yes, I'm fine.

Okay, now down to business.

Where did you keep your gym bag?

Oh, over here on this shelf.

But it's gone now.

MARGARET: Chuck, what is
that on the dart board?

Is this the...

- Is this the stadium seating chart?
- Mm-hmm.

Are these the darts that you used

- to choose the winning seats?
- Yeah.

- It's my dart chart.
- MARGARET: Chuck!

You didn't think to take
the darts or the chart down?

TODD: Literally anyone
who walks into your office

can see the winners.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

All -plus people who
work here are now suspects.

We are running out of time.

- We won't be able to vet them all.
- Uh-oh.

Uh-oh?

Noojin, why is Natalie here?

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Never mind. Never mind.

- Uh, Natalie...
- Margaret.

I know exactly what is going on here.

Natalie's here to tell you
that my son-in-law Chuck

has been falsely brought in
for questioning, by her...

[LAUGHS] Actually, Margaret...

But Chuck would never
arrange to take kickbacks

from an arena giveaway
that he himself devised.

- Not with a kickback.
- I didn't tell her.

Of course you did, Natalie. I know you.

- You just can't...
- BEVERLY: Margaret.

Natalie is here to ask if
I'll be the keynote speaker

for the Portland Women's
Bar Association luncheon.

She will. Isn't that wonderful?

BEVERLY: But that is news
about your son-in-law.

Explains why you're unable to
fulfill your firm obligations.

I'll expect a full accounting
of your billable hours

you're laying out on his behalf.

Pro bono, I assume.

Yes, I-I will.

- Of course.
- Wonderful.

Lovely to see you, Natalie.

Natalie, you know Chuck is not guilty.

Two other winners have
materialized since we last spoke

who tell the exact same story.

A phone call offering them
an irresistible opportunity,

a drop-off location and a bag

with the initials C.G. on it.

We're in possession of the bag now.

Chuck comes from a very
wealthy old Portland family.

He doesn't need the money.

And rich people have never
fleeced anyone before?

[LAUGHS] I just annihilated
my security fraud trial,

and set precedent, and I'm confident

this case will end in conviction.

But it's not Chuck.

Okay, look, no one at
the arena knows about

your FBI investigation.

Let's keep it that way and let
the five million giveaway play out.

I will find the person
who is truly guilty.

Give me to the end
of the game on Friday.

This week, next week, it
makes no difference to me.

- [ELEVATOR DINGS]
- I'm going to get my conviction.

You have until the $ million giveaway

to present an alternate suspect.

But if you don't have anything by then,

I hope your daughter finds a man

in an orange jumpsuit attractive.

- Quick, what do we got?
- Now.

Well, there's Chuck's
secretary Beatrice.

She is creepily interested
in our investigation.

Ah, Beatrice. And Allison says that

she runs Chuck's entire life.

And she, like everybody else, had access

to the winning seat numbers.

We need a different angle.

- What about the winners?
- Okay, sure.

What did we find in
their background check?

We need something that
ties them all together.

Well, let's see. I
have Bartholomew Roads,

winner number three.

With a credit score of .

Okay, and I got Mitsy,
winner number four with .

And Tangey Mitchell...
for my winner.

I mean, whoa, my credit score
was in the s for a while,

and is no longer, but
what do you have to do

to get your score under ?

- Declare bankruptcy, like Bartholomew did.
- Huh.

Found an order on the
court's online portal.

Oh, this winner, too.

Ditto.

But what is the overlap,
and what are all these

signed slips here in the files?

Court-ordered Financial
Accountability Fellowship meetings.

Huh. And all the attendance slips

are signed by the same leader.

MARGARET/LYLE: Huckleberry Johnson.

What is a Huckleberry Johnson?

What kind of parent names
their child Huckleberry anyway?

- Hello. Hello. Hi. Hi.
- Hi.

Really? Wow. All this
from one Internet search?

Yeah, well, Mr. Grant
uses the same password

for every account that he's ever opened,

so easy pickings.

Mm. Here, let me help you out with that.

- Yeah...
- O-kay! Okay.

- You okay?
- Okay. Yeah, I'm okay.

You're stronger than you look.

Well, I was my platoon's
push-up champ. Army.

Me, too! But not Army. Air Force.

- Mm.
- "Me, too" m*llitary.

Not a push-up champ, but
I did eat more boiled eggs

in one sitting than
anyone in my squadron.

Hmm. That's very impressive.

Can I ask, um, how did you
get from the front lines

- to forensic accounting?
- I'm a cliché.

[LAUGHS] I'm good with numbers.

They're solid, trustworthy.

And occasionally punishing.

You found something
bad about Chuck Grant?

ALLISON: Wait, what do you mean Chuck has

multiple offshore accounts

in his name in the Cayman islands?

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Chuck, it looks like you're hiding

massive amounts of money.

Chuck, is it possible that your parents

set up these accounts for
you, or that someone else did?

You mean, like, as a birthday gift?

N-No, Chuck. I mean that
someone gained access

to your private information
and set up these accounts

fraudulently in your name?

Why would they do that?

Oh, my God, Chuck, you are being framed.

How can you be at the
center of this thing

and not realize that you...

I mean, are you even aware

of anything that is
happening around you?

At all. Anything?

This makes it look like
Chuck is super guilty, right?

In terms of the ticket
giveaway investigation?

Like-like he rigged the whole thing,

and is taking kickbacks
and ferreting money away.

Ferreting?

Yes, uh, picking the winner,

and shaking them down for a cut.

- Is Chuck the only suspect?
- No, actually.

We have another possible suspect.

All of the winners
belong to a debtors group

run by someone named Huckleberry.

- But that's...
- Are you kidding me?

Wait, what? Who's Huckleberry?

Huckleberry Johnson is
Chuck's college roommate.

So if all of the winners
are connected to Huckleberry,

then all of the winners
are also connected to Chuck.

- Hello, my name is Huckleberry.
- GROUP: Hi, Huckleberry.

And I am a compulsive debtor.

It's been eight years
since I've incurred

any unsecured debt.

Okay, we're looking
for anything that proves

that Huckleberry is a recruiter.

Thank you, ma'am, but I am undercover,

and this is an anonymous
group, so zip it.

Hey, you two in the back.

Oh, sorry, sorry, don't mind us.

- We're just, uh...
- Anonymous debtors.

Yes, we're very anonymous,

very in debt, and very new here,

so we don't know all the rules.

We were all newcomers once. It's okay.

Please, join the circle.

- Okay.
- Okay.

- Hi. Anonymous.
- Yes, very.

Hi. I'm... Well, you're all anonymous.

Please, uh, introduce yourself
and tell us your debt story.

Okay, well, sure...

Please.

Uh, me... oh, first? Okay. Hi.

[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY] Hello.

Um, uh, my name is Mar... lo.

ALL: Hi, Marlo.

Uh, I am a debtor. Anonymously.

And I am here because,

beca...

because I am very

irresponsible with money.

My money, my mother's money.

All money, really.

Also, I am currently living...

I mean, if you can call
it that... [CHUCKLES]

in my sister's garage.

Also, I have landed in jail

on numerous occasions,
and my noble mother

has had to bail me out
time and time again.

TODD: Wow, what a moving statement.

I got so much out of that.

Um, bless you.

But my name is Percival Snodgrass.

ALL: Hi, Percival Snodgra...

- We don't share last names here.
- Yeah, that's actually...

Percival-Snodgrass is my
first name, it's hyphenated.

Uh, I am a debtor, and I have been

an emotional and financial disaster

ever since my husband abandoned me

and fled to Iceland.
Yes, it's true. I know.

Why would anyone leave me, right?

Thankfully, I have
three gorgeous children.

Well, two of them are gorgeous,
and one is a hideous robot.

But the handsomest one,
my sweet little boy,

he was really there for me.

He rescued me in my time of need.

He is an incredible,
brilliant investigator...

How is this relevant to your debt?

Well, uh, I don't know.

Maybe the shopping addiction I developed

instead of embracing
my son's brilliance.

Well, thank you for your
shares, Percy and Marlo.

It looks like our time is over.

Could I please have some
volunteers to help clean up?

Okay, the newcomers and Tangey. Thanks.

Uh, uh, Tangey? As in Tangey Mitchell?

You won the Golden Ticket
Giveaway. You were the first winner.

$ , , huh?

- Yep, that's me.
- Yeah.

Jackpot.

Sure, this is my signature,
but debt counseling

is often a mandatory
condition of bankruptcy.

Yes, yes, but these people also all won

the Widows' Golden Ticket Giveaway,

which does seem like
more than a coincidence.

Wow. Yeah. Yes, it does.

Huckleberry, it would seem

that the contest has been corrupted,

and that these winners are only chosen

because of their connection to you.

- To me?
- Uh-huh.

Oh, no. To me? That's crazy.

I have no connection
whatsoever to the Widows.

But your college roommate does.

So, was winning the
Golden Ticket Giveaway,

- like, the best moment of your life?
- [LAUGHS]

- It was pretty dope.
- Mm-hmm.

But I'd say becoming a
mom was probably the best.

- Yeah. Same.
- HUCKLEBERRY: Chuck Grant?

- Mm-hmm.
- Wait, you think Chuck Grant

is behind some kind of, what,

a kickback scheme? There's no way.

- What makes you so certain Chuck couldn't be involved?
- It's just...

Chuck is no criminal mastermind.

He's no mastermind at all, of anything.

He's just Chuck.

Chuck.

Hey, I really related to your share.

I have an ex who just disappeared.

- Left me in all kinds of credit card debt.
- Right?

The worst. I mean, I have no idea how

I'm gonna get out from
underneath all these bills.

If only there was some sort
of a quick, easy fix, you know?

Hey, do you like hockey?

Uh, puck yeah. [CHUCKLES]

Maybe you can be the next
lucky Golden Ticket winner.

Huh.

- Pa-choo!
- [LAUGHING]

Hazelnut latte for Wayne,
and spiced chai for Linda.

Have a good one.

Okay, explain it to me again.
Who are we meeting here?

That Debtors Anonymous
lady who won the K prize.

she gave me a phone number to call.

Then some weird
voice-changing robot voice

told me to show up here
alone wearing a Widows jersey.

I don't know, I think
they're grooming me

to be the next prize winner.

Is the delay between your real voice

and your phone voice bothering you?

Iced oat milk caramel
macchiato! Ten pumps raspberry,

four pumps hazelnut.

- Ew.
- Ew.

Well, this is obviously
how they groom their shills.

Preying upon people like
you with financial problems.

Oh, it's just like in
that TV show Squids Ink.

Squid Game, Mom. And you watch that?

Oh, everybody did.

But where is the mastermind,
and why aren't they here?

It is three hours until the game.

Iced oat milk caramel macchiato!

Ten pumps raspberry,
four pumps hazelnut.

Maybe they were here.

Maybe that hazelnut raspberry
abomination is their drink.

BARISTA: Iced oat
milk caramel macchiato?

Ten pumps raspberry,
four pumps hazelnut?

Maybe they got here
before us, they ordered,

then the police happened
to show up, and they fled.

Or maybe they already have
a winner for tonight's game.

Or-or maybe you just
don't fit the profile.

Or, you know, I'm not really
experiencing the delay anymore.

Mom, I'm not on the phone. I hung up.

- Oh. Hi.
- Hi.

Yeah, what I think we
need to do right now

is we need to get down to
the arena, and I don't know...

Yes, and find tonight's giveaway winner,

and find out what they know
before Natalie arrests Chuck

after the game. But how
are we even gonna get in?

The game is sold out.

That's okay. I know a guy.

[CROWD CHEERING]

Hey, Peter, thanks for
allowing Operation Widow

to take place in your suite.

My absolute pleasure. I don't think

I've ever been involved
in a hockey sting before.

It's exciting, right?

Todd, Todd, I have
arrived in section nine.

- Are you there?
- Yeah, yeah, you got me.

And section nine, I got eyes on you.

The seat number for
the winning seat is...

Sorry. Is right there.

But it's empty. No one's in it.

Hey, yo, hello.

Agent Grant here. Testing, testing.

We have a problem, Houston.

I just checked with the box office,

and the winning ticket
holder is a no-show.

What? So there's no winner
for the big prize tonight?

I mean, maybe the
mastermind didn't have time

to groom somebody new.

Or maybe the mastermind got cold feet.

You know, maybe they recognized us

at the coffee truck
and called it all off.

So, Chuck, what happens to the money

if there is no one in the winning seat?

In the event of a no-show,
the money goes back

into the giveaway fund.

Hi, I've got your iced
oat milk caramel macchiato,

ten pumps raspberry,

four pumps hazelnut. For Beatrice?

- Beatrice?
- No Beatrice here.

- Whoops, wrong box suite. Sorry.
- Oh, it's okay.

Beatrice?

Chuck's secretary is the mastermind?

Beatrice!

Wait, what? Beatrice?

SERVER: Hi. Beatrice?

I've got your iced oat
milk caramel macchiato.

Ten pumps raspberry,
four pumps hazelnut.

- BEATRICE: Thanks.
- SERVER: There you go.

Hey, Bumpy, I got your drink.

Oh, thanks, sweetheart.

Time to go give away
some money. [CHUCKLES]

It's Bumpy.

- Chuck's boss.
- Bumpy?

He's the mastermind
behind the giveaway scam,

and he's heading to
the ice right now, Mom.

What are you going to
do? Natalie is going to

arrest Chuck the
minute the game is over.

Well, we need to get Bumpy to confess

before the end of the game.

Okay, wait.

What if I sit in the winning seat?

Yes. I'm the winner.

I go down to the ice,

and, oh, yes, yes,

I can get Bumpy to confess.

Mom, that is a terrible...

Wait a minute.

I'll meet you on the ice.

[CHEERING]

Well, it's intermission, folks,

that moment that you
have all been waiting for.

Now is the time when we will
give away our $ million prize,

changing one lucky
sport fan's life forever.

Are you ready?

Let me hear you. Are you ready?

[WHOOPING]

And the winner is...

Ho-ho! Section ,

row nine, seat !

It's me! I'm the winner!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

Yay! I never win
anything. I'm so excited.

- Thank you.
- [WHISPERING]: Hey, Mom.

It's me, Todd.

I got your back.

Thank you, Todd. I
thought you hated spiders.

Just don't say spiders, okay?

I'm already imagining this
suit is filled with them.

Todd, get it together.

- I need you. You're gonna be okay.
- Okay.

All right, I'll just...
I'll be right here.

I can't see with this thing on.

[SIGHS] Hello, Bumpy.

What the hell are you doing here?

You are Chuck's mother-in-law.

What is he trying to pull, huh?

MARGARET: Tangey arranged everything.

She sent me here to be the winner.

Tangey? I told her to
call the whole thing off

when I saw the cops in the coffee truck.

You have been exploiting those people

- at the debtors meeting.
- Oh, please.

Those people couldn't
wait to make a quick buck,

even if it was illegal.

And why did you set up poor Chuck?

That was the easiest part
about this whole thing.

- He didn't have a clue. [CHUCKLES]
- Thank you.

You have just given me everything
I need for your confession.

These earrings have
recording devices in them,

and the FBI will be
taking it over from here.

Oh, no, you don't.

MARGARET: Oh, Todd...

Oh, Todd, be careful. Oh!

Hey, Bumpy, here's your winning ticket!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

Todd? Ooh!

[GROANS] I don't feel so good.

- Oh, honey, are you okay?
- Don't... don't come near...

- Mom, Mom!
- [SCREAMS] No, Todd! Todd!

- [CRIES OUT]
- [CROWD CHEERING]

[GROANS] Please, please, please

get this infested hive
off of me immediately.

It's okay, Todd, you
are not a real spider.

Stop saying "spider."

Oh, my God!

[CHEERING]

[SHUDDERS]

So, uh, my office will turn over tonight

the recordings that we
made of Bumpy's confession,

as well as the documentation
regarding the offshore accounts

that my forensic accountant discovered.

We are, we are handing
you everything but motive.

Bumpy had four wives spread
out all over the state.

He was trying to make them all happy,

and inexplicably lost a small fortune

betting on ferret bingo.

- Ferret bingo?
- Yeah.

It's a thing.

And in his desperation,

he cooked up this
entire kickback scheme.

And to execute it, he
preyed on the naive.

Like Chuck.

- Like Chuck.
- Uh-huh.

And no surprise, Natalie,

you were so eager for a conviction

you would have sent an
innocent man to jail.

Margaret, I knew that if your
son-in-law was actually innocent,

you wouldn't let up until you
handed me the real culprit.

Which you did.

That's what I call an opponent.

Admit it, I make you better.

Not by a long sh*t. I make you decent.

Until next time.

[SCOFFS]

[KNOCK ON DOOR] Beverly.

I know you've been bogged down

with proving intent on
your securities case.

I have a shortcut for you.

- I'm listening.
- Call in sick tomorrow.

And why would I do that?

Because Natalie Harris just
won her federal securities case,

and the ruling will be
published day after tomorrow.

And the moment it becomes
published it becomes precedent.

And your judge will be held to it.

Thank you, Margaret.

Yes. Of course.

Still doesn't change the
fact that you didn't tell me

you were working on
your son-in-law's case.

- Well, I... I was going to but I...
- But you didn't.

An omission is the same as a lie.

And if you want to be my partner,

please be aware that
I do not like lying.

- Oh, I...
- That's all.

[KNOCKS]

Uh, yes, thank you for squeezing
me in between appointments.

Sure. Yeah, no problem.

Uh, you have another case
that you'd like my thoughts on?

That's right. Bankruptcy matter.

There's a discrepancy between
the denial of discharge in...

Well, this case is several months old.

But the precedent that
was set is interesting,

and with your expertise,
I just thought that...

Lyle, did you just make up
a case to get me back here?

No. Certainly not. I-I...

'Cause, you know, you
didn't have to do that.

You could have just asked me out.

Dinner?

I thought you'd never ask.

Wonderful.

I'm gonna, um, grab my calendar,

my paper calendar, my day book,

- and I'll be right back.
- [CHUCKLES]

There you are.

Hi, honey. What are you doing here?

I just wanted to tell you
that after the All-Star Game,

I pulled some strings,
and Wayne Gretzky is gonna

- get us some ice time.
- No way!

That's so exciting. Oh...

Wait, that's so sweet,
but you hate hockey.

Well, you know, you
love it, and I love you,

and I want to share that with you.

I really appreciate that,

but I would rather do
something that we both enjoy,

like, I don't know, hiking Cannon Beach,

or golfing or, I don't
know, like something crazy,

like skydiving over the Strip.

Oh. Vegas.

What about tonight? Yeah, why wait?

We could find some ' s-era Elvis chapel

and just tie the knot.

- Like elope?
- Mm-hmm.

- Really?
- Yeah.

My mom would literally m*rder us.

You're right, yes.

We should be sober, responsible.

Do the right thing

no matter what our hearts desire.

Hi, sorry, sorry.

I don't mean to... Susan,
do you have a second?

Oh, yeah.

SUSAN: Wow, a divorce.

- Are you sure?
- Yes.

And you don't want
Margaret to represent you?

Would you want your
mother representing you

in a divorce from the man she handpicked

to deliver her grandchildren?

No. Um...

okay, so, uh...

I'm really sorry.

It's okay.

Uh, the first thing that, um...

Wait, your mom handpicked Chuck for you?

I mean, I wasn't some child
bride that she married off.

I was an adult who
willingly participated.

But I guess I just...

I didn't know what I wanted back then,

or ever. And she was always so certain.

And I've been unhappy,

and I've realized lately
that it's because...

Because of your marriage?

No, it's because of me.

♪

[SIGHS]

Allison, um...

can I ask, um,

when did you know about Chuck,

that he wasn't, um...

When did you know?

At the altar.

♪ If only the sea had been planted through... ♪

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Yeah, come on in.

- Hey.
- Hey, man.

Just, uh, brought you
a late-night snack.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, blueberry.

- You remembered.
- Yeah.

Cheers.

Yeah.

♪ Just like the sun ♪

♪ Of our wave we call cool ♪

Are you gonna leave, too?

Um, yeah, Chuck. Yeah.

I mean, eventually.

I gotta move on and move up.

You know, figure out my adult life.

You and Allison.

♪ Lean into the light ♪

Yeah.

♪ Now, row, Charon, row, Charon ♪

♪ Row, row, row ♪

I thinks Susan is the right choice.

I think you made a good choice.

One of the few choices I've made.

Allison, I only want
what's best for you.

- If I ever pressured you to...
- If?

I'm sorry I pressured
you to stay married.

I just, I believed in you two so much.

Mom, you don't have to
apologize to me right now.

I... yeah. Not now.

Maybe later.

♪ Row, Charon, row... ♪

You were brave to leave Chuck.

It took courage.

What's going to happen now?

I don't know.

Are you going to be okay?
Allison, I want you to be okay.

Mom, right now I don't want to hear

what you want me to be.

Okay.

♪ Row ♪

♪ If only the sea... ♪

Do you want to watch Freaky Friday?

♪ Row... ♪

Lindsay Lohan or Jodie Foster?

It's up to you.

Foster.

Okay.

But you have to stay on
your own side of the bed

'cause I don't want to
accidentally switch bodies with you.

♪ Those formative years ♪

♪ Were so hard to get through ♪

♪ Row ♪

♪ Just lean into the light ♪

♪ Now, row, Charon, row, Charon ♪

♪ Row ♪

♪ Just lean into the light ♪

♪ Now, row, Charon, row, Charon ♪

♪ Row. ♪