08x22 - Jefferson's Greatest Hits

[bunniefuu]

To a deluxe apartment
in the sky

Movin' on up

We finally got
a piece of the pie

Fish don't fry
in the kitchen

Beans don't burn
on the grill

Took a whole
lot of tryin'

Now we're up
in the big leagues

As long as we live,
it's you and me, baby

There ain't nothin'
wrong with that

To a deluxe apartment
in the sky

We finally got
a piece of the pie

I can't remember when
I've been to
a lovelier church service.

My sentiments exactly, Weez.

How would you know
Mr. Jefferson.

You slept
through the whole thing.

I wasn't sleeping,
I was praying.

Oh? Was that the
Lord's Prayer
you were snoring?

Look, Weez,
when Florence's
choir group is singing,

sleeping Is the
best defense.

Don't pay any
attention to him,
Florence.

Oh, it's okay, Ms. Jefferson.

I know that deep down,
we're all God's Children.

And you're the reason
somebody invented
birth control.

Florence,
I know I keep repeating
myself,

but your solo
was just beautiful.

Well I did my best.

Too late to
apologize now.

Hello. Is there a Florence
Johnston living here?

Don't rub it in.

Well, I'm sorry to interrupt
your Sunday afternoon,
but I came by to compliment

Florence on that
beautiful solo she
did in church this morning.

Florence, there's
a guy from the lunatic
asylum here to see you.

Hello, I'm
Florence Johnston.

Hi, I'm Mike Davis.

This Is Mr. and
Mrs. Jefferson.

Oh, hello.
Hello. Hi.

Oh, you're Mr. Jefferson.

I saw your business
card in the collection plate.

Good, good.

Anyway, Florence,
I had to come by.

I wanted the pleasure
of meeting you In person.

I hope It's not
a disappointment.

Not at all.

Give It time.

Mr. Davis, it was very
sweet of you to come

all the way over here
to tell Florence you liked
her singing.

Oh, well, actually,
it's my job.

See, I'm a record producer.

You are?
Yes.

He is.

Oh George, look.

Records, huh?
Well, congratulations,
you just set one.

You looked at Florence
twice in one day.

Oh, just ignore him
Mr. Davis.

You know, it means
a lot to me that
somebody as important

as you would come
all the way over here just
to offer me encouragement.

Well, I may be offering
you more than just
encouragement.

See, Florence, my
responsibility is securing
new talent for our company,

E & K Records.

Did you hear that,
Mrs. Jefferson?

He may be offering
me more than
encouragement.

See, his responsibility
is securing new talent
for his company

E & K Records!

Thanks for
clearing that up.

Florence, I believe that
your voice is a
gift that you have to

share with the whole
world and I want to
help make that happen

by putting your voice on
a record.

A record? Oh! Florence,
did you hear that?

Of course I heard that
Mrs. Jefferson.

I'm standing right
next to you.

Try to control yourself.

Sorry, Florence.

Now, control me.

I'm sorry.
Don't be.

You should have seen
Aretha's face the day
I signed her.

Aretha?
Aretha Franklin?

Did you hear that.
He discovered
Aretha Franklin.

Wait a minute.

You discovered
Aretha Franklin?

That's right.

And you believe him?
Why not?

P. T. Barnum was wrong.

There are
two born every minute.

George, why do
you belittle every

good 'thing that happens
to Florence?

Weez, take a
look right here.

What do you see?

My reflection.

No, no. Let me help
you out it's a brain.

A brain soaked with
business savvy.

Now my business
savvy tells me that

this guy Davis
ain't on the level.

George.
Give the man a chance.

He's a crook Weez.
Mark my words.

George...
Mark 'em, Weez.
Mark 'em.

Is there something
wrong with your
husband?

Well you see, it's just that

my husband
is a little suspicious.

He thinks that you're...

Well...

He thinks
you're sort of a...

Well, how does the
word "crook"

hit you?

Mrs. Jefferson, please!

I think I better be leaving.
I didn't mean to cause
any problems here.

Florence, your
solo was terrific,

and I hope you pursue
your singing career.

If not with our
company,

then with someone you
feel more comfortable with.

FLORENCE: Freeze.

Don't you go nowhere.

Now listen do you really
think my voice

is good enough to make
a record?

I mean, after all, I'm just
a maid who sings in
her church choir.

What modesty.
Can you believe this
woman's modesty?

I've gotten used to it.

Florence, I believe your
singing speaks to

the working women of
the world.

It's honest, pure.

Troubled, yet optimistic.

Believe me,
you have been
blessed with a gift.

You hear that?

And you got me ironing
your clothes.

Uh, why don't I make
us some coffee.

You've got lots to discuss.

Make mine tea with lemon
for the voice.

Well, Mr. Record Producer,
when do we start?

Alright well, first we got
to cut a record,

and then we've got to get
all the deejays across the
country to play it.

This is all too much.
But how does
it all get started?

Don't it cost money?

Well our company picks up
most of the expenses.

All we'll need from
you is twelve
hundred dollars.

Twelve hundred dollars?

For studio costs.

But, Mr. Davis,
twelve hundred dollars
is my whole life savings.

Florence that's just
what we're talking
about. Your life.

Well that's true.

You see, E & K Records

are willing to take a
chance with you because

I think you're good.

The company has faith
that I know how
to pick out a star.

A star!
Yeah.

Lord, I'm gonna
be a mess!
Oh, yes you are.

Listen you've
got my number.

Give me a call
when you decide.

I've decided.
If Aretha can do it,
so can I.

Just tell me what to do.
Be at my studio at
one tomorrow.

All you'll need is a
cashier's check and your
lovely, lovely voice.

I'll be there.
All right.

I'll see
you tomorrow,
Florence. Oh.

Together, We're going
to the top of the charts.

Arrividerci.Ciao.

The top of
the charts.

Where's Mr. Davis?
He had to leave.

Mrs. Jefferson,
guess what?

Tomorrow I'm going to
make a record!

What! Oh, Florence,
that's wonderful!

But when you become
rich and famous,

I hope you won't
forget me.

Oh, Mrs. Jefferson, never.

When I
receive my first Grammy,

I'm gonna
thank all the little people.

The only little person I'm
gonna leave
out is Mr. Jefferson.

I can't believe it.

Florence Johnston,
a recording star.

Yeah, It's like a dream
come true.

I had a dream come
true once.

I dreamt I was eating
a Hershey bar.

And the very next day...

I ate one.

Only In America, Tom.

Here's Florence now.

HELEN: Hi Florence.
Hi.

Hi Florence, have you
decided what song
you're going to record?

Uh-huh. Mr. Davis
called and suggested
that I sing,

You Light Up My Life.

Oh, hey. I read something
about that song.

They played the record
at the Zoo to get
the pandas to mate.

And it worked too.

Oh, that's interesting.

Buy record.

Helen
make that two.

Well, if you'll excuse me,

I have to
go finish cleaning
up in the kitchen

before I go to the
bank.

The bank? I thought
you were going
to the recording studio.

Oh I am. But first
I have to go to
the bank and draw out

my twelve hundred dollars.

Twelve hundred dollars.
What for?

Well that's what its
going to cost to
make this record.

'Course I figure
I'll get that back with
my first commercial

"Is-it-live-
or-is-it-Florence?"

Twelve hundred dollars.

Does that sound
right to you Tom?

No. The record studio should
be paying Florence,

not the other way around.

Tom, this is beginning
to sound like

a vanity press
operation, to me.

What's that?

Well, let's say some
inexperienced,

unqualified writer has a book
he wants published.

There are certain companies,
who for an exorbitant fee,
will publish anything.

You wouldn't believe
some of the terrible books
Tom has rejected.

Remember
Cooking With Furniture?

Would someone really
publish a book
like that?

A rip-off company would.
If you paid
them enough.

They feed off other
people's dreams.

It sounds like Florence is
being ripped off by
her recording company.

Oh, no.

This is going
to break her heart.

Better her heart than her
bank account.

Somebody's got to tell her.

Well, I gotta run.
Gee, It's getting late.

No, no. I'll tell her.

But maybe it
would be better If Florence
and I were alone.

You're so right.
Very wise.

Oh, Louise,

she's going
to be disappointed.

But even if she hates
you, stops speaking
to you, packs up and

moves out of here forever,
remember you're
doing the right thing.

Just make sure my
name doesn't come up.

Well, I'm off
to the bank.

Florence,
wait a minute.

Yes.

Twelve hundred
dollars is an awful
lot of money.

Are you sure you're
doing the right thing?

I'm sure.

Mrs. Jefferson.
Don't you
believe in me?

Yes,
I believe in you.

But what I'm trying
to say is,

Mr. Davis might be, uh...

I think he's ripping
you off.

Well, thank you very much.

You know,
I would have expected this
from Mr. Jefferson.

But I thought at least you
had a little trust in me.

I do, Florence.
If you'll just listen
to me.

No, you listen to me.

Now this is another
a chance for me to
do something with my life.

To make it on my own.
And I sure ain't
gonna miss it!

But, Florence, trust me...

No, I trust me.

And it looks like I'm
the only one around
here who does.

Weez,
what is It, Weez?
What's the emergency?

It's Florence.

Is that all. Bye!

George, I think this
Mike Davis is taking
Florence for a ride.

He's charging her
twelve hundred dollars
to make that record.

Twelve hundred dollars,
huh?

Sounds to me like this guy's
a crook.

I'm afraid so.

Well, hmm.

Seems like just
yesterday somebody saying

that this guy
was a crook. Remember
who that was Weez?

That was you, George.

I beg your pardon?

That was you, George.

Well,

and I also
remember saying that
you should mark my words.

Did you mark 'em, Weez?

No, George.
I can't hear you.

No, George.

Oh, Weezy, Weezy,
Weezy, Weezy.

When will you ever learn?

You're really going to rub
this in, aren't you?

Moi?

Rub it in?

Just 'cause I told
you the guy was a
crook,

and you refused
to listen to me?

Just 'cause I told you
to mark my words, and
you chose to ignore them.

Weezy I'm too big a
man to rub something
like that in.

Thanks.

But moiwas right.

Okay, Weez let's
just forget about it okay.

Let's take care
of the business at hand.

Now.
Great.

You want me to take
care of Florence's
problem, right?

Well, don't you worry
your sweet little head,

Daddy will
take care of everything.

Good. Now...

You know something,

it brings tears
to my eyes when

I realize how important
I am to you.

Don't try to thank me.

The look on
your face is
thanks enough.

Well, I better
get going.

Keep a light
burning in the window,
keep the bed warm,

and when I finish
taking care of
Florence's problem,

I'll come home and
take care of you.

George?
Yes Weez.

There's been a bad case
of the flu
going around lately.

So, when you get
home, I'm going to take
your temperature.

In that case, don't wait
up for me.

It was great,
well done, great.

It's gonna be a big hit,
big hit.

Absolutely. I've never heard
You Light Up My Life

chanted so well.

It was very nice.
Thank you, Thank you.

And thanks for the incense!

How many more suckers
have we got
scheduled for today, Mike?

Just four more.
Florence Johnston, and...

The singing Yamaguchi's,
Kenji, Kojima, and Dave.

I'll go get some more
tape.

Would you leave me alone!
I told you I don't
want no incense!

Hey, Davis.
Mr. Jefferson.

So you came down to
give Florence a little
moral support, huh?

Look don't come up to
me with that
record producer jive.

I know the game
you're playing.

I beg your pardon?
You disgust me
you know that.

First you tell my maid

she's got talent then
you try to take all
her money from her.

They got a name for
people like you where
I come from. A Sleazebucket.

Say that again.

You're a
Sleazebucket.

Steve, get in here, quick!

What Is it?
Listen to this guy.

Now Mr. Jefferson,
would you mind
saying that just once more.

Sleazebucket!

Why, you little...
No, no, no.

You're not
listening to the
quality of his voice.

Oh. Yeah.

That was outta sight.

Hey, come on you think
I'm gonna
fall for that jive.

Oh, no, no really.
What a loss.

Yeah great ones never
know that they've
got it.

Well you really
like my voice.

Mr. Jefferson, you mean to
tell me that

your friends never told
you what a great
voice you've got?

Well, I don't have that
many friends.

Then, let me be the one
to tell you.

Mr. Jefferson your voice has
got such

timbre, such resonance, such

soul. You know
what I'm saying?

Ah, come on. Do I
look like a country
bumpkin to you?

No, no, not at all.

You know you sound like
Nat King Cole.

Nat King Cole?
Get out of here.

No Steve's right.
You've got his sound.

Come off it.

Really, I swear.

Yeah?
Oh yeah.

Really?
Oh really.

Are you warm,
are you real, Mona Lisa?

Or just a cold and lonely
lovely work of art

Beautiful. I love it.

Dripping with soul.

Well, I don't know
about dripping.
Damp maybe.

Mr. Jefferson,
you have got a gift.

A gift you've got to
share with the world.

Yeah, I guess it ain't
fair to keep it all
to myself, huh?

Oh, no.
Oh, no. Of course not.

And we've got to be the
ones to record that
golden voice.

That's right.
Just twelve hundred bucks
and we're in business.

Twelve hundred bucks?
Wait a minute.
I don't know about this.

Oh, come on Mr. Jefferson,
you're a businessman,

you know that it takes
money to make money.

Well, if you're
not sure of yourself

we could forget
about the whole thing now.
It's probably just as well.

We've got
George Benson coming
in any minute.

We've got The Commodores
due after that.

I'm afraid the only time we
could fit you in
is right now.

Oh no, no,
I got the time.
Well, great.

Whenever you're ready,
if you'll go into the studio

and put on your headset,
we'll cue up the tape.

That's twelve hundred
dollars you said.
Yeah.

Okay.

Wait a minute. What song
should I sing?
Yeah.

Oh that's right.
We've got to come up
with something

that's tailor-made to fit
your voice and style.

You Light Up My Life.

Yeah. That's a great
song for me.

I never did like the
way Daniel Boone
sang it anyway.

Okay, Mr. Jefferson.

If you'll just
take your place over
there by the mic.

Put on the headsets so
you can hear the music.

Good.

Anytime you're ready
now just step right up.

Mr. Jefferson,
Mr. Jefferson,

can you
pick it up a little?

I meant the tempo,
the tempo.

Oh, well, I like to
hold my music
in my hand.

Oh, yes. Of course.

Anytime you're ready.

So many nights
I'd sit by my window

Waiting for someone
To sing me her song

Turn this off in here
before my
stomach locks up on me.

I tell ya, with the parade
of suckers we've had

coming through here,
this guy could be
the drum major.

And wait until you
hear his maid.
Talk about gullible.

She fell for that
Aretha Franklin bit.

She sounded more like
Benjamin Franklin.

I love it. What a joke.

Oh, It's a joke, all right.

And I'm about
to deliver the punch line.

Florence!

Light up my day
Light up my life

And fill my
nights with song

Rollin' at sea
Adrift on the waters

Could it be finally
I'm turning for home?

Never again
To be all alone

Florence! What are you
doing with my sound man?

All right, tell him.

What can I say?
I think we gotta hit.

All right, all right.
You stunk.

That's better.
Now tell him the rest of it.

Well...

E & K Records is
a rip-off.

We were
gonna take your maid for
twelve hundred dollars,

and well we were gonna do
the same to you.

Wait a minute.
I wasn't good?

Mr. Jefferson,
ain't you listening?

They were
trying to cheat us.

But wasn't I good?

Your check's in there on
the table.

I swear I thought
I was good.

You get out of here.

And if you
try to cheat anyone else,

I'll be on you like
white on rice.

If you're interested
in some real estate...

Where's my broom?

Can you believe him,
Mr. Jefferson?

Well I don't know.
Maybe I wasn't good.

Well, maybe I wasn't either.

I mean
I can't believe I fell
for this.

Don't be so hard on
yourself, Florence.

If a city slicker like
me could be taken

it's easy for a country
bumpkin like you.

Oh never mind,
you're right.

Maybe I am
a country bumpkin.

I mean, you tried to warn
me, Ms. Jefferson tried
to warn me,

would I listen, no.

But look Florence, I got
sucked in too.

See, that's the whole thing
with con games.

You can always detect it when
you see it being played
on somebody else.

But when its being played
on your own dreams,

you find someone
to believe it.

I didn't know you wanted
to be no singer.

I didn't. Till they told
me I could sing.

Same here. Course
I like to sing and
everything.

That's why I'm in
the church choir.

Yeah.
And I know I'm good...

Maybe I'm not good enough
to be a professional.

Well what do you think?
About what?

What do you think about
my singing?

Tell me. Straight out.
What do you
think about my voice?

Well...

I think your
voice is...

Really not horrible.

Well I guess that's about
all I'm gonna
get out of this.

You know, I actually
thought this was the dream
that could come true.

When will I ever learn?

Oh well let's go home.

I've got some
floors to mop.

Hey wait a minute,
Florence look,
I know you got plans

of being more than
a maid in your
life time.

If you come up with
something you want to do,

you just let me know
and I'll back you
to the hilt.

You mean that?
Definitely.

Thanks,
Mr. Jefferson.

I'll do anything to get
you out of the house.

You know
something?
What?

You're one of the
sweetest bald
men I ever met.