10x03 - Mission: Incredible: Part 3

[bunniefuu]

in the sky

a piece of the pie

in the kitchen

on the grill

in the big leagues

it's you and me, baby

with that

in the sky

a piece of the pie

NARRATOR: Previously on
The Jeffersons...

Tom was conned $, by two
of George's Navy buddies,

but George and Tom had a plan
to get the money back...

The same way
they got it from us,
we're gonna have to con them.

We'll just have to track
those guys down and

and pull a con on them
that they'll never forget.

NARRATOR: George and Tom
enlisted the aid
of their friend Jimmy.

The three followed
the con men to Los Angeles,

where they met Jimmy's cousin
who had a plan...

Mr. Jefferson, have you ever
heard of the term Armageddon?

Yeah.

What we do, is we convince
West and Tyndall,

that it's coming sooner
than it really is.

NARRATOR: The only problem
was that Louise,
Florence and Helen

found out about
the stolen money.

So what're we
gonna do, Louise?

Well, what else can we do?
We're flying to Los Angeles.

NARRATOR: And now, Part three
of "Mission: Incredible"

Oh...

Oh, ten-and-a-half-hours.

Ten-and-a-half hours
of the most painful,

grueling, back-breaking,
physical labor

I've ever had
the misfortune to watch.

All right, Mr. Jefferson,
how does she look?

Expensive.
A-ha! But as I promised,
just the necessities.

Just necessities, right.

And I suppose this honeymoon
suite is a necessity, right?

Now wait.

You know how much noise
we had to make to put
this newsroom together?

Yeah.
Nobody came over
to complain, did they?

Oh, that explains why I got
a standing ovation when I
went out for a midnight snack.

Gentlemen, we are
fighting a deadline.
So I suggest we get started.

Jimmy, let's go.

Look, are you sure this
"end of the world" thing
is gonna work?

Mr. Jefferson,
the only thing I'm sure of

is that this is Friday,
and we have about eight hours

to get your friend's
money out of the bank.

All right, I'm ready.

Hey, you're looking good.

Now remember, this newscast
has to look professional.

If West and Tyndall get
the slightest hint

there's a con going
down in here,

that's all she wrote,
understood?

Understood.
All who wrote?

Let me explain something
to you, shut up.

All right.
Take your positions.

Yeah. I still don't think
it's gonna work.

Oh, come on, George.

Whatever happened
to that great positive
attitude of yours?

Okay, I'm ready
with the script.

Oh, my God,
this is a long one.

Wait a minute.
No. I'm sorry.
This is just some bills

I forgot to give you,
Mr. Jefferson.

That's what happened to the
positive attitude, Willis.

Are we ready?

Lenny, did you
hear the racket

those newlyweds were
making last night?

I couldn't believe it.

Ah come on, Lloyd,

they're young, in love,

they've a whole new world
to look forward to.

It's beautiful.
Yeah. I suppose.

Wanna rip 'em off?

Okay.

We interrupt this
program to bring you
a special news bulletin.

We take you live
to Washington D.C.

and ourAction News
correspondent, J.W. Townsend.

Jim?
Thank you, and good morning.

In an official communique
just received byAction News,

the Pentagon has revealed
that the Communist-backed
Caribbean island

of San Limon has apparently
opened fire upon

an unarmed American
reconnaissance submarine.

The submarine was cruising
in international waters

some miles off
the tiny island's coast.

And while there has been
no word of injuries,

the President has
warned the m*llitary
leaders of San Limon

that any further aggression
against the sub
would be viewed

as a blatant act-of w*r and
would result in, and I quote,

"Unspeakably grave
consequences," end quote.

Hey, Lloyd.
Do you hear this?

Just what these
consequences will be

remains unclear at the moment,

but Action Newshas
learned that several
American warships,

including a destroyer

armed with nuclear warheads,

are reportedly headed towards

the troubled area
at this moment. And also,

that San Limon is prepared for
possible retaliatory action.

Hey, Lloyd!
I'm listening! I'm listening!

This concludes our
News Bulletin. Stay tuned
for further developments.

A destroyer with nukes, Lloyd?

Al, will you relax?
This sort of thing
happens all the time.

Blowing up the world does not
happen all the time, Lloyd.

They are not going to blow
up the world. How can they?

Where would they live?

Well, I don't like it
at all, Lloyd.
I don't like it.

I don't think it's working
with Tyndall.

No. But its working with
West and he's the one
we're going after anyway.

So what's the next step?

Well, I think that if we can
convince him that L.A.
is the target for this w*r,

he'll panic and try to
leave town with the money.

Ah! And then we jump
'em, right?
No.

You see, physically
we can't take them

because legally the money's
not yours anymore.

So we have to wait
for them to take
a cab to the airport with it.

And then we pull the
switch on 'em.

That is the most ridiculous
thing I ever heard, Willis.

So what's the plan?
We'll pull the switch then.

Now, his way makes sense.

Now gentlemen,
you have to realize.

When West and Tyndall
leave their room

we have to watch their every
move and control it.

They can't read anything,
can't hear anything

and can't come
in contact with anybody

that might tip them that this
whole thing is a scam.

What about the cab? They've
got to talk to the cab driver.

I'm going to be driving
the cab.

Wait a minute.
Won't they recognize
you from the newscast?

Uh-uh.
Not with this hat,
GEORGE: Yeah, right.

and these dark glasses
and me accent, man. I say,

"Sir, you want a cab, sir?
I take you to the airport,
sir. Very, very cheap sir."

It's beautiful, baby,
it's beautiful.
Thank you.

I have already taken the
liberty of renting a cab.

What?
You rented a whole cab?

Of course. I didn't think
they'd go for a moped.

All right. Let's give them
another sh*t. C'mon.

Al, listen. Don't you know
if there was anything
to worry about,

I'd be the first one
to say so?
Now, would I be so calm?

Would I be so relaxed?

Would Juan Valdez
still be picking coffee beans?

We interrupt this program
to bring you
another News Bulletin.

Good morning.
Ladies and gentlemen,

as of : A.M.,

the United States Congress,
in special session,

issued a formal Declaration of
w*r against the island nation
of San Limon.

I knew it! I knew it!

It has also been learned
that San Limon
has activated

its own arsenal
of nuclear weapons
against the United States.

The CIA has released
a list of cities

targeted for probable att*ck.

These include Washington,

New York, Miami, Chicago
and Houston.

Los Angeles. You see. Hey,
they didn't say Los Angeles.

The city listed for certain
att*ck is Los Angeles.

As a matter of fact,
they're considering sending

all of their bombs
to Los Angeles.

That's it, Lloyd.

Why, just last week

the leader of San Limon
himself was saying to me,

"If it ever came to a w*r
between us and the U.S.

"Why, I'll be damned if
we don't take out L.A."

The President has issued a
heartfelt directive to the
citizens of Los Angeles,

another exclusive
for this reporter.

And I'm quoting
the President now,

"Be calm. Do not panic.
Our hearts are with you."

Close quote.

In an unrelated story,
the President and First Lady

have just left the country
for an extended vacation
in Australia.

But back to Los Angeles,

evacuation proceedings
are underway.

Every available train, plane,
bus, and plane

is being pressed into service.

Best estimates indicate that
by this time tomorrow

approximately % of the
metropolitan population
will be safe

in the Mojave Desert.
So, don't panic.
At all costs, don't panic.

What the hell is going
on in here?

That editorial question,
although a good one,
is a private opinion

and does not necessarily
reflect the views
of this station.

Helen, darling, what are
you doing here?

Listen, I can explain
everything!

What do you mean,
"explain everything?"

George Jefferson,
I demand an explanation!

Yeah, Weez. You went and
ruined a great surprise.

What surprise?

I was gonna fly to Los Angeles
and back home again without
you knowing about it.

No, I will not be quiet,

until I find out what's
going on around here.

Helen, please. You're going
to ruining everything.

Now, just let us finish
blowing up the world

and I promise
I'll be right home.

Blowing up the world?

Hold it! Hold it!
Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

Before you all
blow up anything,

do anybody know where
Billy Dee Williams lives?

Listen to all that commotion
going on next door.

All hell's gonna
break loose
all over the place.

All right, Al. All right.
We'll leave.

But I'll be damned
if I'm gonna leave
fifteen grand in the bank

just to sit around
and glow in the dark.

Quiet!

Quiet!

I just heard them say they're
going to pick up the money.

Our money?
Um...

Well, yes...

Is this your cousin?

Yeah.
Honey, do you know where
Billy Dee Williams lives?

See, Weez? Look,

they gotta call the cab,

when they call the cab
the phone is gonna
ring over here.

I'm telling you. We'll have
Willis' money back
in no time. I promise.

LLOYD: What do you mean?
We aren't even gonna pack?

I'm telling you,
we've got no time.

We'll get out of here.
We'll stop at the bank,

we'll get new clothes
in Canada or something.

They're gonna
blow up L.A...
Al, Al, Al,

where are you going
dressed like that?

I'm gonna get a cab.

Hey! A cab, that's exactly
what we wanted, right?

LLOYD: Oh, don't bother.

You see, instead of putting
the money in my bank account,

I stashed it away
in a safe deposit box.

ALLAN: You did?
LLOYD: Right!

In a bank,
just down the street!

Not more than
a ten-minute walk.

Walk?
Walk.

Walk.
Walk.

Oh, no,
there go my tip!

Listen, will somebody please
tell me what's going on?

I'll tell you
what's going on.

$, of my money
is on its way to Canada.

And it's all your
husband's fault.

It is not my fault.

It's my fault that the money
came to California.

It's West and Tyndall's fault
that it's going to Canada.

Jimmy, look,

you gotta realize that once
they step out on the street,

it's over, man.

Yeah. Yeah.

Mr. Jefferson,

look, man, I'm sorry, man.
We tried, man, honest.

Yeah. Jimmy, I know.
Thanks anyway.

Mr. Jefferson, you know
that $ you were
supposed to pay me?

Yeah, I know...
Well, may I have it now?

Tom, does all this mean
no beach house
on Cape Cod?

Well, uh, before I answer
that question, sweetheart.

Perhaps, now is the
perfect time

for us to renew those
wonderful wedding vows

we took so many
years ago.

You blew it, didn't you?

You remember that part

that went "for richer
or for poorer?"

You're gonna pay for this.

Oh, and especially,
"Till death do us part."

You got that right.

Look, Weezy, how'd you find
out we were here anyway?

Florence told us.

Florence?
Now wait a minute,
I didn't tell them everything.

I just told them
where you were going,

what you were going for,
and how to get here.

Now the rest they figured
out all by themselves.

Now, look, we just can't
stand here and let those guys
get away, Weezy.

We've come too far
to stop now.

Now, you're the genius who
set this whole thing up.

Can't you do something?

Yes, couldn't you follow them?
Or make them tell you?

Or maybe you could even...

Now just, just one minute.

Who is this man?

Can we follow them, Cuz?

Not without risking being
recognized. By this time,

they've seen
all four of us.

That's right.
And even if they hadn't,

it still wouldn't solve
the problem of

their walking to the bank.

Now see, she's right.

I'm so glad that somebody
else in this room has
a head on their shoulders.

Oh, that's nothing.

You should hear me
when I know what I'm
talking about.

If there were only some
way we could keep
them in that room.

If only they hadn't
seen all of us.

If only who hadn't
seen all of us?

West and Tyndall.
You never met them.
They live next door.

Wait a second.

You have never seen
West and Tyndall?

No.
I ain't never seen
them either.

Mmm-hmm.

Well, we may not be dead yet.

But first, we've got
to stall them.

And then make sure that they
take Jimmy's cab.

So nobody in the street
can tip them off.

Can any of you ladies sew?

Well, yeah...

Good. Mr. Willis,
give me your jacket

for a second.
Now the other two ladies
Oh, oh, yes.

do everything I tell
you to do and listen
to me carefully. Here.

Right.

I just want to know one thing.
What?

Who is that man?

Well, I'll tell you
one thing

he ain't Billy Dee Williams.

All right. Let's go.

I hope we can even
make it to the bank.
Even the T.V.'s not working.

This whole town
is on the verge of panic.
Yeah.

Is it true? Is it true?
Is what true, lady?

That they'll be dropping bombs
in L.A. any minute?

Yeah, it's true.
Have a nice day.

Now, wait a minute!
What about me?

What about you?

Well, you can't leave me here.
I've got a husband, and kids.

And a pocketbook
full of money.
I gotta get out of town.

How much money, lady?

Wait a minute. Let me see.

Hold this...
All right.

My compact.

My lipstick,

my eyebrow pencil...

Aww, this is my cousin
K.C.'s little boy Justin.

Ain't he something else?

Yeah.

He's got a mouth
just like yours...

Lady, would you please...

Okay, okay.

Here's a brush and a comb,

oh, and my toe nail clippers.

Oh, here it is.
Here it is.

Do you know I've been looking
for these earrings for weeks.

Wouldn't you know I'd find
them the day the world ended.

That's it, lady.

Give her back her stuff, Al.
But...

No "buts" about it.
Me and my partner

we gotta leave town and
we're leaving right now.

Just one moment.

I'm sorry, young lady,
but I need a word
with these men.

Fine with me honey,
I'm through with 'em.

Let me see here,
Allan Rudolph West?

Yes sir...
And Lloyd Armstrong Tyndall.
Is that correct?

Yeah, that's right.
Uh, what can we do for you?

My name is Commander
Theodore W. Weatherford

and I'm the recruiting
officer of this district

in charge of the
Navy's new Operation Overseer.

Operation what?
Overseer, Seaman West.

It's highly secretive.

You have undoubtedly heard
of the incident in San Limon?

Incident?
Yeah. We might've heard
something about it.

What about it?

"Yeah, and what about it?"

Is that any way you address
a Commander?

No, sir. Yes, sir.
I don't know, sir.

Cut it out, Al.
We're civilians.

We don't have to salute him.

Not anymore, girls.

As of hours,

you were both
officially re-activated
and fully restored

to your previous ranks
in the United States Navy.

We were what?
They can't do that!

Don't tell me my job,
sailor, I can do any
damn thing I want to.

Now you, give me !

I said
or a week in the brig.

Oh, yes sir.

Begging the commander's
pardon, sir.

But, we're old now,
aren't we, sir?

Oh, West, you're never too old
to fight for your country.

You see, West, the men we have
now, they're too soft.

They're green.
Oh, stand at ease.

No, I'm at ease, sir.

So, we decided to recall
some of our better men,

to whip these boys into
the kind of shape we were in.

Two!

Some of us, anyway.

I still don't understand.

You've got to give them
discipline, West.

You've got to make 'em
respect you.

Because the Lord knows
they're going to look to
you on the day

that you storm the beach.

I'm really flattered, sir...

Storm the beach?

Oh, just think of it, West.

Through the smoke
and the g*nf*re.

Through the shrapnel
and the screams.

And the men you're leading
will trust you, West.

Because, by God,
they'll know that
you've done it before.

But, sir. Last time,
I only cooked eggs.

Well then, I think it's
about time you scrambled
a few San Limonians,

Wouldn't you say, West?

Yes, sir.
Good, good.

Now, I've set up shop
right here at the corner.

An I expect you and Tyndall
to be there tomorrow morning

at hours.

They'll be a bus waiting
to take you to the airport.

Oh, wait a second.
Permission to speak
freely, sir?

Granted.
Oh, God, please don't send
me to San Limon, Commander!

Can't we just give 'em L.A.?
It's not like we need it.

Damn it, Al. Stand up,
act like a man.

Send him! Send Tyndall!

Me?

You can pull strings.
You can do anything.

But please don't send
me to San Limon.

We've got lots of money.

Al!

How much money?
Uh...

A couple of hundred bucks...
I'll see you on the beach...

Oh, wait! Wait! Maybe it's
a little bit more.

But you see my
mother's been sick...

Aw, your story
is breaking my heart.

Forget his mother.

We can get you $,.
But it's in the bank.

Well, what a coincidence.
You know , happens
to be the going rate.

Now, listen you two,
I want you to pay
very close attention

to what I'm going to say.

I want you two to take a cab
from this hotel to the bank

and when you get to the bank,
you withdraw

all of that $,.

Now here comes
the tricky part...

Why is everyone
acting so calm?

I don't know.
Panic, I suppose.

The cabbie said he
hadn't seen it this bad

since the earthquake in '.

Have you seen
our contact yet?

No. But the Commander
said we had to go to them.

You remember the code?

Yeah. Let's go.
All right.

Excuse me,

how far is the nearest
trout stream?

Let me try over here.

Pardon me,

can you tell me how
far the nearest trout
stream is from here?

Maybe we're too early.

We can't be.
Are you sure we're
saying it right?

Yeah. Just like the
Commander said.

"Excuse me, but how far
is the nearest trout stream?"

Only as far as the
nearest trout.

The Commander sent you?
Yeah! Yeah! Oh, thank God.

Look, the Commander said
you had some papers for us.

Maybe. The Commander
also said that you
had some papers for him.

Yeah, that's right.
Show her, Al.

It's all there. Fifteen grand.
You can even count
it if you want to.

I trust you.

Now, you are free to go.
But my advice would be,

don't talk to anyone and
don't let anyone talk to you.

Just get out of town
and do it fast.

Yeah, we understand.

Good. Here are your papers.

C'mon. Let's get out of here.

I'd wait a few minutes.

Shore Patrol's picking up
some deserters out front.

Thank you.

Let's wait over by the
escrow counter.

Good thinking.

Did you get the money?
Yeah. It's all here.

Oh terrific.
Thanks a lot, Jimmy.

No problem. We ought
to do it again sometime.

All right.
Airport, right?

Right. Oh, by the way,
I didn't catch your name.

I know. I never threw it.

Man, I'd love to see the look
on their faces when they see
what's inside that envelope.

It's newspaper!

Nothing but cut
up newspaper.

GEORGE:
Well, Willis, you owe me one.

TOM: I owe you?
GEORGE: See there?
You admit it.

LOUISE: I still don't know
what's going on!

FLORENCE: Is Billy Dee's house
on the way to the airport?

Let's see, one video tape
camera rental $.

Breakfast, Tom Willis,
$..

One-day costume rental, $.

Brunch, Tom Willis, bucks.

One audio tape recorder, $

Mid-morning snack, who else?

Good morning, George.
Morning, Weez.

What're you doing?

I was double checking
these figures.

Cost a lot, huh?
Well, it's hard to say, Weez.

When I got to
Willis' food bill,

The machine stops counting,
it just starts going

Well, George, I can't say you
didn't deserve it.

Maybe now, you'll mind
your own business.

Look, Weez, I was only
trying to help.

I mean, people shouldn't
just jump on every stupid
deal that comes along.

That's like throwing
your money away.

Well, I still say you
should've given
Tom the money

instead of running all
over the country trying
to get it back yourself.

I'm sure it would've
been cheaper.
Oh, yeah?

Here's the total.

Now what do you think?

$,.

Big deal, so you saved $?

Damn right it's a big deal,
$ is $.

Ooh, I'm impressed.

Now try this one.

Tell me, how much is $?

Oh, good morning, everybody.
GEORGE: Morning

I brought up the mail
Mrs. Jefferson
Oh, thanks Florence.

By the way, Mr. Jefferson,

Ralph said that
while we were in Los Angeles

they towed away
one of your vans.

What?
Oh, it's no big deal though.

He said it only cost $.

If you ask me, child,
you got off cheap.