10x13 - The Command Post

[bunniefuu]

in the sky

a piece of the pie

in the kitchen

on the grill

in the big leagues

it's you and me, baby

with that

in the sky

a piece of the pie

You got everything,
George?
Yeah.

I got the Atlantic City
Fun Guide,

The Atlantic City
Restaurant Guide,

and $ gambling
money allowance.

Just $?

That's right.
When that's gone,
that's it...

And then what is that?
Oh this?

This is my only personal
$ emergency
gambling fund.

Well, I don't think
I'm going to do
gamble this trip.

The last time I lost $
and you yelled
at me all night.

That's because
you're a lousy gambler.

But you lost $.

I know. See, but I know
what I'm doing.

You see, Weez,
what you need is a course

in the George Jefferson
School of
Smart Money Gambling.

Now, pay attention.

Let's say you put
a quarter in
a slot machine,

nothing comes out.
What do you do?

Put in another quarter?

No.
You go up to the room
and wait for me.

You mean I only get
to play once?

Well it's your fault!
You had a quarter.

You could've played the
nickel machine five times.

That's what I'm talking about.
Smart money.

So, off for some fun, huh?

Oh, we sure are.

Are you going
to be all right?

Oh, fine.
Don't even
think about me.

We ain't.

Go ahead and have your fun.

I'll stay here.

Alone.

Florence, are you sure
you're going to be all right?

Oh, fine, fine.

Listen, I'll just look
at some TV,
do some crosswords...

All right.
We'll see you Monday.

George, can't we
take her with us?

Aw, Weez...

Oh, come on.
What'll it hurt?

Look, correct me
if I'm wrong,

but we are going on
a vacation, am I right?

Well, yeah...

Okay then, what good
is a vacation if you don't
have anybody to vacate from?

Look, Florence,
Atlantic City is not
really that much fun.

I mean, you take away
the lights, casinos,

headline entertainers
and what have you got?

Just a big
pile of sand.

Why are you two going?

Because it's a lot closer
than Las Vegas,
that's why.

Oh, George...

Mr. Jefferson,

before you go,
can I ask you something?

What?
Please take me with you.

Look, Florence,
where do you get off trying
to make me feel guilty?

Now I've taken you
to places before.

We took you to Hawaii,
we took you on a cruise.

I'm supposed to be going
on vacation with my wife,
not some maid.

And that's all you are,
Florence, whether you like
it or not, just a maid.

No. There ain't any chance
of you going with us. Nah.

Well go ahead.
Leave me behind.

Didn't want to go no way.

Hello, Florence.
Oh, Ralph.

Here's the mail.

I hope I'm not
disturbing you.

No. I was just painting
my toenails.

Oh.

Does that say
"wanna dance?"

Okay, I was bored.

Do you know that
The Jeffersons wouldn't
take me to Atlantic City.

That's so unlike them,
I mean,

I can't think of
anyone more caring,

more considerate
and more generous
than the Jeffersons.

They are already gone,
Ralph.

The stinking rich.

I guess I'm just a little
disappointed about not going.

I mean, nothing
exciting ever happens
around here.

It's so boring.

You know, I'd even been
putting a little money
aside for some gambling.

How much did you put aside?

Oh, just fifty.

Just call me
Mr. Excitement.

Where'd you get those?

Well, I like to consider
these my business cards.

After all, there are
a lot of lonely women
in the neighborhood.

Well, I don't know.
I had my heart set
on Atlantic City.

I understand
how you feel, Florence.

It'd be a kind
of a letdown.

After all I can't give you
the shows, the glitter,
the lights.

All I can offer you is
a little companionship

and the chance
to triple your money.

I'm in.
That's the spirit.

Now, I'm kinda new at this,
so you show me
what to do, okay?

It'll be my pleasure,
believe me.

I'll be the dealer,
and, as it is in any casino,

the odds are
greatly against me.

Well, what should we play?

How about blackjack?

Well, let's see.
The object of that is to
get , right?

Uh-oh. I'm in trouble.
The lady knows
her card games.

Make your bet.

Dealer gives you a nine.

Dealer gets a ten.

Dealer gives you a queen.

Dealer exercises his option
to draw from the bottom
of the deck and gets an ace.

Dealer wins.

I thought you said
the odds were against you.

Oh, they were
before that hand.

Now the odds
must be staggering.

Can you imagine what
the odds would be if this
would ever happen again?

Twenty-one. God!
Call Ripley's!

Ralph,
this is getting boring.

And it don't feel
nothing like Atlantic City.

Well, then, let's hear
a little bit of the
lounge act?

hits your eyes

That's .
Dealer wins.

You mean I lose again?

Well, you're the one
that wanted to go
to Atlantic City.

Who is it?

MAN: Police.
Police?

Oops, I gotta go.

Well, I wonder
what the police could want?

I haven't the
slightest idea.

I'm sure
it's all very routine.
Hold these.

I'm clean.

Are you Mrs. Jefferson?

Who wants to know?

Inspector Torgovich.

And this is
Detective Wiley, NYPD.

I'm Florence Johnston,
MAID.

MA...

Yeah, ah, well,
is Mrs. Jefferson in?

No. She and Mr. Jefferson
went out of town
for the weekend.

Ma'am, we're here on
a sensitive police matter

that requires all occupancy
of this residence for an
unspecified period of time.

Can we count
on your cooperation?

What you talking about?

He said,
"Can we come in?"

Well, I'm alone.
Don't know

I if I should just turn
my boss's residence
over to you.

Detective Comstock, Ma'am.
We'd really appreciate it.

Mi casa es su casa.

Thanks.

Wait a minute.
What's going on?

We're establishing a base
of surveillance in order to
observe a potential felony.

This position provides an
optimum field of vision of the
adjacent area of recognizance.

Huh?

We're staking out the
building across the street.

Do we have your permission
to use the apartment?

Well...
We may be here a few days.

Hey, be my guest.

You guys get
the equipment out
and set it up on the balcony.

I'll contact the backup
units and tell them
we're setting up.

Hey, what do you guys
call that gadget

that you use to contact
the backup unit?

Telephone.

So what's going on?

Is somebody in
trouble over there?

I hope it's not that
bodybuilder on nine

that's always running around
in his bikinis.

No, Ma'am.

Then I'll bet it's that
old lady on
that beats her dog.

No. We're watching
the corner apartment
on eleven.

You ever seen
anything strange
going on in there?

Hey,
who do you think I am,
a Peeping Tom?

I mean I stay out of
other people's business,
and they stay out of mine.

What's going on now?

We have reason
to believe a group of
suspects is engaged

in the illegal trafficking
of a controlled substance.

We're gathering evidence
in order to enter
the premises

and take them into custody.

A drug bust, huh?
Well, if you have to
get technical, yeah.

Say, do you mind if I watch?

I never saw a real live
drug bust before.

Except for that time
in high school
when Roland Thomas

stole his mother's
thyroid pills and told
everybody they were Bennies.

Lady, lady, we'd prefer
you leave the surveillance
to us.

These men are dangerous.

How dangerous?
They've k*lled people.

I'll be under
the kitchen table.

No, no...

No more, no more...

No, no, no...
Hey, Torgovich.

You're having a bad dream.
No, no, no!

I was dreaming that maid
was bringing us more of
her coconut raisin clods.

I know what you mean.

Wiley already sent
some down to the lab.

They sent 'em
back unopened.

Anybody want some
homemade date bricks?

Uh, no, thanks.

I'm watching my health.

Uh, my weight.

Oh, this is exciting.

I mean, I don't know
about you guys.

I am having a ball.

How about you?

I don't deserve
this much fun.

You know, you probably
won't believe this.

But I was almost became
a policewoman once.

But then I decided
to become a maid.

You see, the way I look it,
cops and maids have
a lot in common.

I mean, we're both working
for a cleaner America.

Strange, huh?

Eerie.

You know what
fascinates me,
the most?

The inside scoop on
what it's like to be a cop.

I mean not that
Hollywood jive,

but the deep down,
gut-level, emotional stuff.

So give it to me straight.

What does the "O"
in Hawaii Five-
really stand for?

Oh.

Really?

See, that's the kind of
scoop I'm looking for.

Your shift, Torgovich.

Anything suspicious
going on?

Not in ,
there's a poker game
on the th floor.

Some old lady b*ating
the socks off a guy
in a doorman uniform.

You know, man...

There's nothing like
a good stakeout.

The feel of goose bumps
all over your body,

from standing out
on some freezing balcony...

The smell of four sweaty cops
jammed into a patrol car
for hours...

The depression of letting some
low life kid get by you just
when you thought you had him.

And the feeling of some
slimeball slip up
so you can nail him...

Now, that's living
life to it's full.

You're sick.

Hey guys, I've got something.

They've spotted
our telescopes.
Damn!

Hey, one of them
just asked for a r*fle.

Lady, duck!

Here we are.

Now isn't this a nice room,
Miss Jameson?

That's Johnston.

Fine, fine.

Now why don't you
just get some rest?

You'll need plenty of
strength for that kidney
transplant tomorrow.

Transplant?

No, no, I'm just
here for this.

Oh.

Well, I can assure you,
dear, that we have
one of the

finest psychiatric
departments in the city.

Dear, you don't understand.

I just fell and bumped
my head.

Oh. I'm sure you
won't be here much more
than a month.

A month?

Look, I'm just here
for observation.

My doctor said I could
go home tomorrow.

What's wrong with her?

Oh, that's Mrs. Carlson.

She was in an
auto accident. I think.

No. That's Miss Taylor,
she had a face lift.

Are you sure?

I don't make mistakes.

I'm a professional.

Listen. Why don't you
just close your eyes
and get some rest

and I'll be back
and wake you up
in a couple of hours

for your sleeping pill.

Hello, Florence.

Can you hear me?

Can you see me?

I can see you, Ralph.

Good.
I brought you these.

Oh, they're beautiful.

Where should I put them?

What about that
vase over there?

How about that?

They fit perfectly.

That was really
thoughtful of you,
Ralph.

Oh, I wouldn't miss
the chance to visit
a famous heroine.

After all, you helped
the police make
a big arrest.

You mean they caught
those guys selling dr*gs?

No. But thanks to you,

they got 'em on an
attempted m*rder rap.

Well, I was glad
to be of service.

Florence, can I ask you
a personal question.

Ralph, I am not going
to tell you where the nurse
put my pocketbook.

I want to know
what it's like to be sh*t.

To face death,
to be near the
ultimate answer.

Ralph, I wasn't sh*t.

I just fainted
and bumped my head.

Well, here's a fine
how-de-do.

I mean I feel a silly
now after having called
the Jeffersons.

Ralph, you have got
to call them back
and tell them I'm okay.

Okay.

But if they really
think you're hurt

this would be a golden
opportunity for you to make
some extra change.

Ralph!

Just testing
your integrity.

You don't mind if
I watch TV, do you?

Good.

How about Dallas?

Yeah. I like it too.

Don't worry.

Sometimes these old TV's
take a long time to work.

Well, it might be broken.

It's just as well.

You sound like
you could use the rest.

Excuse me, I'll be
in the bathroom
for a minute.

Oh, George.

It's even worse than
Ralph said on the phone.

Come on, Weez.
Don't let her
see you break.

We gotta think positive,
talk about something
on the bright side.

Okay.

Hi, Florence.

You look good in white.

C'mon, Weez,
she can see
right through that.

Hey, Florence.
How're ya doin'?

Look, we brought
a present from
Atlantic City.

Salt water taffy.

Be careful, it might get
stuck on the roof of your...

...uh, sorry.

George, I can't keep
pretending everything
is okay.

Florence is hurt and I just
can't bear to see her
lying there like...

Like...

You'll have to
forgive her, Florence.

She lost her shirt
at Keno.

Look here, Florence.
I just want to tell you,

we really wanted
to take you to Atlantic City
with us, see.

But that would have
spoiled the surprise.

Because me and Weezy
were going there to buy
you a fur coat.

Okay, okay.
There ain't no fur coat.

I was just trying
to cheer you up.

I just can't stand
to see you lying
here like this.

Motionless,
not doing nothin',

you know I've always
hated that.

Look, I'm sorry.
If I insulted you,

Florence you know
I'm only teasing, right?

Just like the time
when I bought you that
birthday cake

and I asked you
if you wanted me
to light the candles,

or bum down
a forest instead.

Or the time we went to
that space alien movie

and I hung your
baby picture in the lobby.

And the time I said
your pork chops were great.

Now that wasn't an insult
that was just a lie.

Okay, now that
that's off my chest.

I better be going.
Is there anything I can
do for you, before I leave?

Uh? Sure?

How about some TV?

I guess not.

See you later.

Florence...

I gotta say something, okay?

You gotta get better.

Not just for yourself but
for me and Weezy.

Especially me.

See, when I was a kid
my father was k*lled
in an accident, right?

I never told anybody
this before but

that day before the accident
we had a big fight.

I never had a chance
to tell him that I was sorry,
you know.

That I loved him.

And you know,
like this morning,

I said you were just a maid,
I mean that's not true.

You mean more
to us than that.

You're like my family
to us, you know.

I don't want to lose
any more of my family

without telling 'em that
I love them, you know?

That's it.

George, visiting hours
are almost over.

Can I come in for a minute?

I'll wait out
in the hallway.

Florence,
how are you feeling?

Can I make you
more comfortable?

Turn on the TV?

I know, it's frustrating

but you'll be better
in no time at all.

Mrs. Jefferson.

You see,

you're talking already.

Mrs. Jefferson,
I'm over here.

Hi, Florence.

We'll be back to
see you tomorrow.

Florence!

Is this really you?

Yes.

And you didn't get sh*t?

No. Just a bump on my head.

Then why did you scare
the hell out of us like that?

I never thought that
y'all would think
that was me.

Well, if you're you,

who's that?

Miss Taylor.

Facelift.

Poor thing.

She's going to be walking
on her tippy toes.

But the important
thing is you're okay.

I've got to go tell George.

Oh, no, no,
don't tell him.

Why not?

Well, he said some pretty
personal things to me
when he was in here.

And he thought
I was really sick

and I think he'd be
pretty embarrassed if
he found out I wasn't.

Well, I can't let him worry
about you all night.

And how am I supposed
to explain your
sudden recovery?

Just tell him that
whatever he said in here

must've done me
a whole world of good.

But that's not true.

Oh, yes it is.

Well, all right.

But you know he'll never
let you forget something
like that, you know.

He'll think he's a God,
gloat for months,

and make your life
miserable.

In other words,
life as usual.

Right.

Well, child,
after everything
that has happened,

life as usual is gonna be
pretty easy to take.