01x02 - Floor Guardians

[bunniefuu]

[SHALLTEAR] My, my. It appears

I'm the first to arrive.

[MOMONGA]

Shalltear. A true vampire.

She guards the first,

second, and third floors

of the Great Tomb of Nazarick.

Oh, wow! Lord Momonga!

The one man I could

never rule above!

My eternal beloved!

[MOMONGA]

Wha-- Hey!

Stop, Shalltear.

You're starting

to slobber on him.

[SHALLTEAR] Hello, half-pint.

I didn't realize you were here.

[grunts]

[SHALLTEAR] Having such

a foolish older sister

must be difficult, Mare.

However do you manage it?

Miss Fake Tits.

What?!

Just as I thought!

That's why you went through

the trouble of using a gate.

You were in a hurry,

but since you overstuffed

your top so much, you worried

they would shift

if you ran here.

Ah! Watch it, elf!

You've got nothing

but a boy-chest!

True, but I'm only years old.

I can still develop.

Whereas, you're stuck

in an undead body.

Maybe you should learn

to accept those bug bites.

How dare you!

I'll make sure you regret that!

[MOMONGA]

Talk about nostalgic.

Shalltear's creator,

Peroroncino,

and his older sister,

Bukubuku Chagama,

who created Aura and Mare,

used to have fights

like this all the time.

[COCYTUS]

What a ruckus.

[AINS]

Hm?

[COCYTUS] Stop acting like

children in front of the master.

[MOMONGA] Cocytus. He's the

guardian of the fifth floor,

and a virtual personification

of the word "Warrior."

I'll stop once this elf

bitch pays for her lies!

[AURA]

Try it, vamp!

[AINS]

That's enough!

Shalltear. Aura.

We don't have time

to be playing around.

[AURA, SHALLTEAR]

Forgive me, my lord.

[AINS]

I'm glad you're here, Cocytus.

[COCYTUS] I will always

come when you call.

[AINS]

Mm. Good work.

[DEMIURGE]

Sorry, everyone.

I hope you weren't

waiting too long.

[MOMONGA] Demiurge. He's an

insanely powerful demon,

and guardian of the

Tomb's seventh floor.

If Nazarick is ever in

crisis, he is set to lead

the other NPCs in its defense.

My lord. We, the Guardians,

pledge our fidelity.

[MOMONGA] The world of the

massively popular DMMO-RPG,

Yggdrasil, drastically changed

after its last day of service.

Though magic can still be used,

various rules have

changed and the NPCs

have begun to move

of their own volition.

[AINS]

Raise your heads.

[MOMONGA]

Jeez, could I look any more

depressed and hopeless?

[AINS] I am very pleased

that all of you have come.

[BOTH]

Huh?

Your thanks are wasted on us.

We have pledged ourselves to

you, and live to obey, lord.

I fear that our

abilities may not

meet your expectations.

Despite this, we will

strive to meet them,

in honor of the

lost Supreme Beings,

our blesséd creators,

this, we vow!

[GUARDIANS]

This, we vow!

[AINS]

Most excellent, my Guardians!

I have no doubt that

all of you will fulfill

your duties without fail!

[AINS]

Now, then.

[GUARDIANS gasp]

[AINS] The situation outside

the Great Tomb of Nazarick is,

at present, entirely

unknown to us.

With this in mind,

I've had Sebas survey

the surrounding area.

[AINS]

Grasslands?

[SEBAS]

Yes, lord.

I'm afraid the swamps

that once surrounded

the Great Tomb of Nazarick

are nowhere to be seen.

Furthermore, I could not

confirm a single building,

human, or monster within

one kilometer of here.

It would seem we are

completely isolated.

[AINS] Very good, Sebas.

You've served me well.

As I suspected, it appears

that Nazarick has been

transported to an

unknown land by equally

mysterious means.

Floor Guardian leader Albedo,

and defensive leader Demiurge.

I have a task for you.

[DEMIURGE, ALBEDO]

Lord.

[AINS] Fortify our defenses

and work on a way

to strengthen our

information gathering.

The rest of you,

follow their lead.

[AURA, MARE, COCYTUS, SHALLTEAR]

Lord!

[AINS]

Mare, is there a way to conceal

the Great Tomb of Nazarick?

Yes, though, it

will be difficult

if all we use is magic.

But, if we covered the walls

with dirt and vegetation.

I think it would help to

camouflage us from intruders--

[ALBEDO] You want to smear

the glorious Nazarick

walls with dirt?

[AINS] Albedo! Don't

make needless remarks.

Yes. Forgive me, lord.

I was careless.

[AINS] Are you confident the

dirt will be sufficient, Mare?

Y-Yes. I am.

As long as you allow it,

of course. Except...

[AINS] Right. One random

mound would look unnatural.

Sebas, are there any

hills around the Tomb

we could blend in with?

No. The area is barren.

Nothing but flatlands as

far as the eye can see.

[AINS] Fortunately, the land can

be molded to suit our needs.

Would making dummy

hills suffice?

Yes, I do believe

we would blend in

with such a surrounding.

[AINS] Excellent, then

that is what we shall do.

Afterwards, we will use

illusion magic to hide

the open areas

we cannot cover.

[MARE] O-Of course, lord.

It will be done.

[AINS] Lastly, there is

a question I would have

each of you answer.

First, Shalltear.

In your own words, tell me what

kind of person I am to you.

Beauty incarnate.

There is nothing,

living or undead,

that could ever compare

with your radiant glow.

[AINS]

Cocytus.

[COCYTUS] A man whose

strength is unrivaled

by any guardian.

You are truly worthy of ruling

the Great Tomb of Nazarick,

always and absolutely.

[AINS]

Aura.

Compassionate.

And you're always three

steps ahead of the game.

[AINS]

Mare.

You're a leader who's

kind, as well as merciful.

[AINS]

Demiurge.

A man who makes wise

decisions then acts

upon them efficiently and

without any form of hesitation.

Also, your enigmatic nature

makes it nigh impossible

to predict you.

[AINS]

Sebas.

You are the head of all

the Supreme Beings,

and, even though the other

creators had left us behind,

you mercifully stayed in

Nazarick until the very end.

[AINS]

And lastly, Albedo.

You are the

highest-ranking member

of the Supreme Beings.

Our ultimate master,

and the ruler of Nazarick.

As well as the man to

whom my heart belongs.

[AINS]

U-Uh, y-yes, I see.

I have heard your thoughts,

and given you your orders.

Go work faithfully in my name.

[GUARDIANS]

Lord!

[MOMONGA sighs]

I'm b*at.

Why the hell do they

have such glorious

views of me?

They're so... serious!

I thought I was going to

faint, that was so scary.

Seriously!

I was sure the pressure

would crush us!

[COCYTUS] To think he

would be this amazing.

When he shows his true

power and authority,

he's even more glorious

than I imagined.

[DEMIURGE]

Indeed.

[COCYTUS] He seemed pleased

with our vow of fidelity.

I hope that is the case.

He acted completely

different when he was alone

with Mare and me.

In fact, he was

super kind and gentle.

[ALBEDO gasps]

He even gave us

something to drink

because he thought

we looked thirsty.

That just proves

he's a true ruler,

through and through.

His power and mercy

make him amazing!

It's just as you say, Mare!

He was incredible, wasn't he?

He sensed our feelings and

acted on them accordingly.

Just as an absolute

ruler should!

Of the Supreme Beings,

he stands at the top!

And when all of the others

had left us behind,

he mercifully stayed with us.

[SEBAS] If there's nothing more,

I'll return to my duties.

I do not know

where Lord Momonga

has gone within the Tomb.

But, wherever he is,

I should stay by his side.

Very well.

If anything happens, please

inform me immediately, Sebas.

Especially if Lord Momonga

calls for me personally.

I will rush to his side!

No matter what

I have to sacrifice!

But, if Lord Momonga

wants me to join him

in his bedchamber, then

I will need time to prepare.

I would need to bathe first.

Of course, if he wants me

to go without bathing,

--then I'd be happy--

--You've made yourself clear.

Now, if you will all excuse

me, I must take my leave.

[SHALLTEAR whimpering]

Is there something

wrong, Shalltear?

[COCYTUS]

Are you hurt? Ill?

No, I'm fantastic.

I just got a little

over-stimulated, is all.

His power was so

intense, my underwear

went through a small crisis.

[GUARDIANS groan]

[ALBEDO]

Disgusting bitch!

[SHALLTEAR]

Ugh. What?

Don't pretend you

aren't thrilled

over the gift he just gave us.

He shared so much of his power.

If something that

incredible doesn't

make you wet, you must be

rancid beneath that skirt!

[ALBEDO]

You filthy parasite!

The Supreme Beings

made me what I am.

I take pride in it,

and a big-mouthed,

idiotic gorilla like you

won't change that.

Keep flapping those

fangs, Lamprey.

See where it gets you!

Right... Aura.

I'll let you deal

with the women issues.

Whoa, not so fast!

You can't dump this on me!

[DEMIURGE] If it starts to

get bloody, I'll intervene.

Um...

[COCYTUS]

Goodness.

Is this really something

worth fighting over?

You, too, Cocytus?

[ALBEDO, SHALLTEAR growling]

[DEMIURGE] Their vitriol aside,

I'd be quite interested

to see the result

of such a union.

What?

It would be a great

addition to our forces

and it would pave the way

for Nazarick's future.

I'm not sure I follow you.

[sighs] Every great ruler

needs an heir, don't they?

Uh?

Lord Momonga stayed

behind until the end.

However, one day, he may

leave to join the other

Supreme Beings,

wherever they went.

Therefore, it would be

nice if he left an heir

we could pledge our

loyalty to. Agreed?

[MARE]

Um.

So, you're saying that one

of them should give birth

to Lord Momonga's heir?

[COCYTUS]

Blasphemy!

If we do our jobs,

that won't be needed.

Yes, of course.

But, instead of just

serving one lord,

we could pledge

ourselves to his line.

[COCYTUS]

Oh? That would be kind of nice.

No, it would be wonderful!

I can see it so clearly now!

I would be Uncle Cocytus!

By the way, Mare?

Is there a particular reason

you're wearing female garments?

[MARE] Actually, this is

something that Bukubuku Chagama

chose for me.

She said I was

a "cross dresser,"

or something like that.

Maybe wearing these

clothes makes it easier

for me to cast my magic spells?

[DEMIURGE]

Hm. Interesting.

Perhaps it would be fruitful

to try having the males

dress in female garments

at some point. Later.

Cocytus, come back

to reality, please.

[COCYTUS]

What a magnificent scene.

That is truly a

future to wish for.

[DEMIURGE]

I'm happy you're happy.

Aura! Have Albedo and Shalltear

finished their little spat?

Yeah, the catfight is over,

but now they're arguing.

We are deciding who the

master's head wife will be.

Obviously, the ruler of Nazarick

will have multiple wives.

It would be strange for

someone of Lord Momonga's

position and power

not to have a harem.

But only one of us can

be his official wife.

Yes, that's fascinating,

but, don't you think

we should focus on the task

the master set for us?

Yes, of course. Back to work.

But, Shalltear, we will

discuss this later, at length.

Looking forward to it.

Now, then. It's time

to begin planning.

[MOMONGA] I only took on

the class of magician, but,

since I'm level ,

I should have enough

strength to swing a sword.

Let's see...

[gasps]

[MOMONGA] Looks like I still

can't wield or equip items

that aren't specific

to my in-game class.

It's been three days

since I came to this world,

and I haven't once felt

uneasy about my undead form.

Maybe my mentality changed

along with my body?

I know that if I get

emotionally unstable,

some outside force

makes me calm down.

That bears investigation.

I haven't felt the

need to eat or sleep

since I got here. Also,

I didn't act on my libido.

I guess that's another sword

I won't be wielding.

Shall I get that?

[AINS]

Yes. "Create Greater Item"!

[AINS grunts]

[MOMONGA]

It really is like Yggdrasil.

If a magic item allows it, I can

bypass my class restrictions.

[AINS]

Narberal.

I'm going to go outside

the Tomb for a bit.

The guards shall accompany you.

Just say the word.

[AINS]

No need. I will go alone.

Please wait, lord!

If you leave without an escort,

we would be unable

to protect you.

It is our sworn duty to act

as your shields, and perish.

[AINS]

I won't allow it.

There is something I

want to do discreetly.

My decision is made.

As you wish, my lord.

[AINS]

This is so tiring.

I won't be able to use

magic in this armor,

but I can make do with my items.

[MOMONGA gasps]

[MOMONGA]

Jealousy, Avarice, and Wrath?

Why are the three demon

generals under Demiurge

on the first floor?

[gasps]

[MOMONGA]

Demiurge.

[DEMIURGE]

It's you, my lord.

But, why are you traveling

without an armed escort?

And wearing such armor?

[MOMONGA]

Crap! How'd he know? Calm down.

Only someone wearing

a guild ring

can freely teleport

around Nazarick.

Of course he knew.

[AINS] Well, there is

a reason for all of this.

So that's how it is.

[MOMONGA]

Huh?

As expected of a great ruler,

your attention to

detail is impeccable.

[MOMONGA]

Wait. What?

I just wanted to go outside

for some fresh air!

However...

I can't let you to leave

here without an escort.

If something happened,

I couldn't forgive myself.

[AINS] Hm. Then, I will

allow you and you alone

to accompany me.

Thank you for indulging

my selfishness, lord.

I will not fail you.

[MOMONGA gasps]

[MOMONGA]

Amazing.

I've never seen a night

as clear as this before.

The artificial sky Blue

Planet made on floor six

was impressive, but it didn't

hold a candle to this.

[AINS]

"Fly"!

[DEMIURGE growling]

[MOMONGA] I can see everything

with just the moon's light.

I wish Blue Planet were

here to see this world's

unbelievable beauty.

[AINS] The stars in the

sky glitter like jewels

in a treasure box.

[DEMIURGE] I believe this

world exists so that you may

adorn yourself with

its infinite riches,

and we Guardians exist

to help you do so.

[AINS] Hm. You could

be right about that.

Perhaps I was sent to this

land to obtain those jewels

for myself, along

with every treasure

that shines beneath them.

But, to hoard such

things would be

the height of selfishness.

Instead, I could use them

to adorn the Great Tomb,

it's residents, and my

friends of Ains Ooal Gown.

If you wish it, we will

use all the power

of Nazarick to obtain

it for you, my lord.

[AINS laughs] We don't even know

what exists in this world.

It's a little early for a quest.

Then again, it makes me think.

The most enjoyable thing now

might be taking over the world.

[DEMIURGE gasps]

[MOMONGA]

Who am I kidding?

There's no way

we'd pull that off.

I wonder, though.

Am I really the only player

who came to this

world from Yggdrasil?

My message skill

didn't reach anyone,

but it might be because

they're too far away

or the effect of the

magic has changed.

[MOMONGA] If that's the case,

maybe I should spread

the name of Ains Ooal Gown

throughout this world.

[AINS]

Hm.

[MOMONGA]

That's Earth Surge.

He's using a skill to

increase his magic range,

and one of his class skills

to amplify the effect.

Well done, Mare.

[DEMIURGE]

Lord Momonga.

May I ask what you plan to do?

[AINS] I want to thank

Mare for his hard work.

What do you think I should

give him as a reward?

[DEMIURGE]

I am sure that he would be happy

just to have you

speak to him, my lord.

[AINS]

Mm...

Oh! Lord Momonga!

[MARE]

Why are you here?

Oh no, did I make

a mistake already?

[AINS]

Not at all, Mare.

The work you're doing is

of the utmost importance.

It will protect Nazarick

from intruders, and more.

[MARE]

R-Right.

[AINS] I wanted you to know

just how satisfied I am.

Your performance thus far

has been exemplary.

Um. Thanks, Lord Momonga.

[AINS]

I would like you to have this.

[MARE]

That's a Ring of Ains Ooal Gown!

But, only Supreme

Beings are allowed

to wear an item like this!

I can't possibly accept.

[AINS]

There's no need to panic, Mare.

Huh?

[AINS] Moving between Nazarick's

floors can be difficult.

This will allow you

to do so unimpeded

and easily complete your work.

Now, take this ring

and serve Nazarick well.

[gasps]

[gasps] Thank you so

very much, Lord Momonga!

I'll be sure to work

extra, extra hard for you

and the honor of

Nazarick, I swear it!

I'll be worthy of this gift!

[AINS]

I'm depending on you, Mare.

Yes! By the way, my

lord, I was wondering.

Why are you dressed like that?

[AINS]

U-Uh, um... Well... that's--

[ALBEDO]

It's simple, Mare.

[DEMIURGE]

Albedo.

It's for our sake.

He didn't want to bother any

of us while we were working.

It's like a disguise.

If we knew that he

was here watching us,

we would stop working

to praise him.

If that happened, then

nothing would get done.

Isn't that right, Lord Momonga?

[AINS]

As expected of Albedo!

You knew exactly

what I was thinking.

I'm leader of the floor

Guardians, my lord.

But, even without that title.,

I'm certain that I would sense

your thoughts and feelings,

as if they were my own.

[MARE]

Is that so?

[ALBEDO yells]

[AINS gasps]

Is there something

wrong, master?

[AINS]

U-Uh, no. Nothing at all.

Right, then. Mare.

Sorry for interrupting you.

You may return

to your work, now.

Oh, sure!

I'll get right on it, lord.

Please, excuse me.

[AINS]

Albedo.

I should give one

to you, as well.

"Give me one"? Of what, lord?

[AINS] This will make your

work as administrator

of the Guardians a little

easier. Use it wisely.

[ALBEDO]

Thank you very much.

[AINS gasps]

[gasping]

[AINS]

W-Work diligently.

Demiurge, I will prepare

one for you another time.

I understand, lord.

I only hope that, one day,

I can prove myself

worthy of such a treasure.

[AINS] I have done

what I planned to do.

I will return below before

I cause any more distractions.

Oh, yes!

We will att*ck the next

village tomorrow morning.

And guide the beasts

to their cages.

[AINS] After using a magic item

to survey the surrounding area,

I discover a human settlement.

A small village is dyed

red with blood and flames,

as a group of knights

brutally att*cks it.

However, even as I watch the

m*ssacre unfold before me,

I feel nothing at the loss

of all the innocent lives.

Perhaps... I've lost my humanity

along with my human form.

Chapter three: "Battle

of Carne Village."