01x03 - I Got a Friend!

[bunniefuu]

That's what I'm

talking about...!

Smoking hot chick!

Smoking hot panty sh*t.

Or I could act

like a gentleman...

Hey, there.

Are you all right?

Oh...

Yeah, I'm okay, really.

Erection.

Uh...

Thanks.

Sorry about that!

Uh-oh.

Jackpot, this girl

is totally my type.

Blonde and busty, gets me lusty!

That was very sweet of you.

Please... It was nothing.

I've gotta keep this

conversation going...

Let's see, now what

can I talk about?

Hey, whaddaya say...

The weather sure is

nice out here, am I right?

I just sounded like

my grandmother!

Umm... I'm sorry but--

I'm a little bit lost,

do you think you

could help me out?

So... Are you a tourist?

Oh no, not at all...

As a matter of fact,

I was just assigned to serve

the Church in this town.

Right, you're a nun, then...

Guess that explains

your uniform.

I'm so glad I ran into

someone kind like you...

I guess someone is

looking out for me, huh?

Yeah.

Is everything okay?

Oh, yeah...

It's all good.

What in the heck was that?

Hey, wait a minute!

A big boy like you

shouldn't cry over a scrape.

Don't worry,

you're gonna be fine.

Whoa...

She healed him.

Dude. Freakin' weird...

My left hand just wigged out.

Ya see...?

There's no reason

for you to cry at all...

You're just fine.

All done now.

Sorry!

I wonder what's going

on with my body...

It's gotta mean something...

You must be surprised.

Uh, no!

No, not at all...

That sure is a pretty nifty

power you've got there though.

Thank you; I consider

it to be a gift

and a blessing.

Truly...

It's wonderful.

Hey, there it is!

Oh, yeah... That's

the Church all right...

The only one we have.

Thank goodness I found it...

That's a relief.

You know, it's weird...

I've never seen

anyone up there...

Not a single person.

Let me thank you properly...

Would it be a problem for

you to come inside with me?

I can't.

The thing is, I have

somewhere to be.

Oh that's okay...

Guess I should go too...

It was sweet of you to

help me find my way...

My name's Asia Argento.

And my name's Issei Hyodo...

You are very welcome.

Issei, huh?

Well uh... so...

Meeting you here

was a blessing...

And I know for sure,

it's one I won't forget...

I hope we see each other again.

Yeah... Me too.

If you're ever bored or

in the neighborhood...

Come by and visit

me at the Church...

That's where I'll be.

Sounds awesome...

I'll see you soon...

Have a good one.

Thanks...

You have a good one, too!

I think she's the

nicest girl I've ever met.

You must never go near

the Church again, Issei.

Why?

For Devils like us, the

Church is enemy territory...

Simply setting foot inside

would create major problems

for both angels and devils...

Surely you could sense

that something was

telling you to be careful.

Oh... That's what it was...

When I went near the

church I thought I felt a chill,

and my left hand tensed up.

That was your devil instinct

telling you danger was near.

Being in close

proximity to someone

from the Church is a

very risky proposition...

Also...

What's even more dangerous is

that some of the exorcists

affiliated with the

Church use Sacred Gears.

They could really hurt you.

Issei?

Yeah, I'm listening.

Just know that if a devil

receives a devil-purge

it's utterly annihilated...

Nil...

The end of the line...

They can feel nothing...

They're gone forever.

You can never come

back from that...

Do you understand?

I got it.

I'm sorry...

I've gotten too worked up...

I want you to be

more careful, that's all.

Of course.

Well great...

I guess I've gone

and done it again...

Seems like she's always

pissed off at me for something.

Sorry, Asia...

Looks like I'm not gonna

be able to keep my promise.

She's not pissed off you know;

she's just worried

about you, silly boy.

You scared me!

You're still here...

I thought you had

gone home for the day.

We just received a

message from the archduke.

The archduke?

It was urgent...

A stray devil has been

causing trouble nearby.

Stray devils start out

as devil's servants.

You mean like we are?

No, not exactly...

Once in a while,

a servant rebels and kills

their master to gain freedom.

Then they become strays.

According to the reports,

this stray has

been tricking people

into that abandoned

house and eating them.

Gross!

Tonight's job

shouldn't be too hard;

just find the beast and k*ll it.

These monsters are pure evil.

They don't care about anything

but their own selfish desires.

And that always

ends in ugliness.

Issei?

Uh... Yes, President?

Are you familiar with the game

of chess?

Yeah, sort of...

I've played it,

but I totally suck.

As the master, I'm the King...

My empress is the Queen...

My cavalier the knight...

My t*nk, the rook...

My clergyman, the bishop...

And my foot soldier, the pawn.

Devils with titles of nobility

grant the characteristics

of these pieces to each

one of their servants.

That sounds kick A.

We have a special

name for them...

We call them our 'evil pieces.'

Sorry, but why are

you telling me this?

I want you to watch and learn...

Pay close attention to my devils

as they do battle here tonight.

Oh. Okay.

It's here.

Now what could that

foul, fecal smell be?

Mmmm, and something smells

quite delicious as well...!

I wonder if it tastes sweet...

Or bitter!

I see big boobies!

Viser, you wretch...

You betrayed your

master and ran away

to fulfill the lustful wants and

desires that have consumed you.

Your sins are worthy

of a thousand hells.

In the name of the great

Marquis of Gremory...

Be gone...

Or meet your death!

Oh, just give it a rest,

you little slut...!

You always have

had it in for me...!

You're just jealous

cause your breasts

will never be as

luscious as these!

This is your final warning:

Go back to your master now!

Whoa...

This is a stray devil...?

She looks like a soft-core

late-night cable-star!

Let me show you

what I'm made of then!

Ya see what I mean?

When I said it ends in

ugliness, I wasn't joking.

She's got a really

nice rack though...

What a waste.

Uh-oh...

This is not good!

This is a p*rn

I don't wanna be in!

Please be careful...

Kiba!

He just vanished!

No, he didn't;

he's just moving fast.

In this game, he's my knight.

His attribute is speed...

And his ultimate att*ck

w*apon is his sword.

Koneko...! Watch out!

It's all right.

In the game, she's my rook...

Her attribute is simple...

She has an

unparalleled strength.

That won't even

put a dent in her.

See you on the flip side.

Mental note to self...

Do not piss her off.

Akeno?

Oh, is it my turn?

How exciting...

I so love this game.

Look out!

Sacred Gear!

Thanks for that, Issei.

Hey, no problem...

My body did that on its own.

Akeno...

Finish her off please.

I've got news for you:

You're not the only one who

likes to play rough here...

So, let's you and

I have some fun!

Akeno is my Queen.

Her attributes are a perfect

combo of all the other pieces.

She's simply unbeatable.

Tough girl...

Not ready to give up yet...?

Goody!

I get to play some more!

Her w*apon is a

dark, magical power...

And that's not all.

This v*olence...

It's making me so hot.

She's really into S and M.

Is this as good for

you as it is for me?!!!

You mean she gets off on this?

Akeno...

I think she's had enough.

Aww, over already...?

I was just starting

to enjoy myself.

Any last words

before we finish this?

Go to hell.

All right...

How about we get

it over with then?

Game over.

We're done here...

Come on.

Let's go home.

Sounds good to me.

But...

Wait a second.

What's wrong?

What am I...?

What chess piece...?

I'd just like to

know how I fit in...

Tell me: Am I a knight or

something bad ass like that?

You're a pawn.

But I don't wanna be a pawn.

Well...

I'm sorry...

It's what you are.

But that blows.

Chicks do not dig pawns!

If I wanna have

my own servants...

First, I have to become

a high-ranking devil.

If I was born into power

like Rias, it'd be easy.

But I'm just another

stupid reborn,

so I have to bust my ass

to prove myself...

How can I do that though...?

I'm a pawn...

The punk-ass

little bitch of chess.

At this rate, I'll be a

full-blown loser forever.

It's unlocked.

That doesn't seem very safe.

Hello...!

I'm the devil sent

here by Lady Gremory...!

Is anybody home?!

Uh-oh...

I just had that

weird feeling again.

If you're home,

please say something!

Koneko's over-loaded with

summon requests this evening...

Can I ask you to handle

one of them for her?

Yeah, for sure.

Good.

Just make sure you

bring back a pact this time.

Whatever you do,

please don't disappoint me.

Yes, of course.

If I turn back now...

There's no way in hell I'll

be able to face the president.

Don't be totally freaked

out, but I'm coming inside!

Nice of them to set the mood...

Can anyone hear me?

Floor's wet.

Is this blood?

Holy sh*t!

'Punish the wicked.'

Words to live by.

Yes...

Wise advice to heed

from a holy man.

Well, well.

You just walked into the wrong

house, my friend...

Freed Sellzen here,

at your service.

And you must be

the scared little p*ssy

whose devil ass this holy

priest is gonna exorcise!

A priest?!

Yep...

I work for a certain

devil-purging organization

you may have heard of.

So you're the

one who did this?!

Huh?

Summoning you was proof

that he's done being human...

End of the line, sinner!

So I had to chop him up

into little bitty pieces!

Putting down degenerate devils,

and the lost souls that would

cry out to them is my job...

And no one is

better at it than me!

That's a sword of light!

First I'm gonna cut

out your evil heart,

with my heavenly

blade of light...

Then with my righteous g*n,

I'm going to blow a hole

in your wicked demon face...

How does that sound, devil?!

Kerblam!

These b*ll*ts have been

blessed by an exorcist...

Hope they taste good, scumbag?!

Damn you!

Ooo... Is the devil angry?

Maybe it's time for

Freed Sellzen to send you

back to the abyss

from whence you came!

Too slow.

Get a guy all worked up and

leave him half cocked...?

That's no way for a lady to

treat a gentleman like myself!

What the hell...?

Asia, what are you doing here?

Are you done creating

the barrier already?

Don't... Don't do this.

Right, a newbie...!

Well then, I guess

it's time you learned!

This is what the

job is, my dear...

We dispose of unfortunate people

who have been bewitched

by the evil devils.

No. It can't be.

Asia, I--

What's going on...?

Do you two know each other?

Issei, why are you here?

I'm here... because...

I'm a devil, Asia.

No... That can't be true.

I didn't want to lie to you...

I swear that I didn't...

That's why I decided it was

best not to see you again...

Please forgive me.

Oh, heavens.

Not that this isn't

heart-warming...

But you and your friend here

have no business being together.

The Fallen Angels

have expressly forbidden

all forms of contact

between our kind and theirs...

Have you forgotten that already?

Fallen angels?

Now then, shall we go ahead

and do what we came here to do?!

Not that it matters much...

...but I hope you

said your prayers!

Asia?

You've got to be

kidding me with this.

Please don't,

I beg you for mercy ...

Forgive this man

his sins, Father...!

Couldn't we just let him go?

That thing isn't a man.

It's a devil.

You made a pledge

to defeat our enemies!

It doesn't matter

to me what he is...

There's goodness

in him, I know it!

You can't just k*ll him...

How can you actually believe

the Father would approve?!

Enough of this bullshit!

Don't you touch her!

You've lost your

f*cking mind...!

What? Are there maggots

growing inside that

stupid head of yours!

Let her go!

Our fallen angel friend says

I'm not supposed to hurt you,

but I don't give a

damn about that now...

You know what happens

to naughty girls, don't you?

Asia!

Why shouldn't an

upstanding priest

do what he wants with

a filthy tramp like you?

That's not so wrong, is it?!

Don't hurt me!

Stop it!

Look, boy... you

wanna watch this go down

you're gonna have

to pay for it...

Nothing is free!

I'm not kidding around...

Let her go!

Well... Well.

Think you can take me down...?

Then come over here and

show me what you got!

No, you don't hafta do this!

There's no way I can win.

If I go through with it,

I'm probably gonna die.

But she put her life on

the line to protect me.

She saved me.

I'll save her...!

Bastard!

Take that!

I'll admit, I'm impressed...

Whaddaya say we go for a new

world record, devil scum...?!

Let's see how many pieces

of meat I can chop you into!

What was that?!

Kiba!

Hey, Issei...

Thought you could use a hand.

Oh, this is gross...

Talk about a nasty mess.

An exorcist.

You guys came.

Hell yeah...!

Now we've got ourselves a

good ole' fashioned g*ng bang!

You're done here...

Sorry to disappoint

you but he's one of us.

Oh, I'm far from

disappointed, trust me...!

So...

What's the deal...?

You're the pitcher

and he's the catcher?

For a priest, that's quite

a mouth you've got there.

What are you,

the impiety police...?

Get off your

high horse douche bag;

hunting your kind

is my only concern!

So stop preaching,

and let's get to it!

My my, this guy certainly

is a piece of work.

And you, my dear,

are a hot piece of ass...!

Oh, those eyes are k*lling me.

There's nothing I lust after

more than a sexy devil bitch!

If you want it,

come and get some!

But I really don't think

you could handle it...

Nobody hurts one of my servants.

President!

Well...

Look who finally

showed their tits...

Don't get ahead

of yourself though,

cause I'm pretty

sure I just hurt him.

It's all right... I'm here.

Thanks a lot...

I'm sorry that

I let you down again...

I tried, but I failed you.

Look at how hurt you are, Issei.

I'm the one who's sorry...

I sent you into the hands of

an exorcist, and I had no idea.

There was a barrier in

place here until a moment ago,

so we didn't even realize.

You were supposed

to make the barrier...

Little bitch...!

Die!

Please, don't hurt her!

I never forgive people

who try to do harm to

one of my servants...

Nor do I forgive those

who pick on the weak.

And I especially don't tolerate

insidious wretches like you...

Your terrible evil has

no place in this world...

That's why I'm here:

to purge it.

Well sh*t...

Big red over there

could be a problem...

I may need some back-up.

Fallen angels are here.

Just in the nick of time too...!

Hope you're hungry; cause

light spears are on the menu!

So what's the plan?

Right now, we just need

to get Issei out of here...

Akeno, prepare to jump.

Right.

Koneko.

Make sure we have Issei.

'Kay.

You're all screwed now!

We can't leave!

What about Asia?!

I'm afraid only

members of my household

can jump with

this magic circle...

Sorry, but it wouldn't work.

No... Please wait...

Don't do this!

I'm not going

to leave her behind!

You have to put me

down so I can rescue her!

Asia!

Go without me...

Please go.

I'll see you soon.

Trust me. I will.

Asia!

End of the line for you.

I'm little...

But I pack a mean punch...

I promise you.

Thank you...

This is special...

Even if it is only for today.

If I can't take care of

my friends, what good am I?!