01x06 - I Work as a Devil!

[bunniefuu]

What's up, you guys?

Whoa...

Dude, this is totally a bra...!

But what's it doing in here?

I'm totally holding

a titty hammock!

Did ya see anything

you like, you big pervert?

It's not what it looks like.

Hey... is that my bra?

I think he's gonna put

it on and wear it around.

Oh, please don't!

It's not like that!

It just happened to

get caught on my face!

I'm so sorry...

I know I'm a visitor here;

I really hate being in the way.

No, it's fine.

As a matter of fact, having you

around definitely has its perks.

Well, it won't be

for much longer;

the President said

she'd find me a place

to stay before

she went to school.

Early morning training?

Your fight with the fallen

angels made one thing clear...

We need to get you worked up

to your peak physical condition,

as soon as we possibly can.

Oh. Great.

I'll come pick you

up in the morning.

Five sound good?

No... That's nuts...

I mean that sounds fine.

Well... I'm off

to pass out flyers.

Perfect; I'll see ya soon.

So, Asia.

Uh... Yeah?

Let's have a chat about

the sleeping arrangements.

I don't feel well, will

you help me, doctor?.

Don't you wanna

take my temperature?

Give me a sh*t?

It's :, why in the

hell is my alarm going off?

My workout!

She'll be here any second!

Anyone ever tell you,

you run like a school girl?

Yes, ma'am!

People have been telling

me that my whole life!

I wish that bicycle

seat was my face!

No complaining.

Come on, pick it up,

I know you need some work but

you can do better than that!

I think I'm gonna

puke up my ball sac.

Listen.

In the world of devils,

intelligence doesn't matter

as much as strength.

So...

You've gotta get strong...

In mind and body.

Sounds good to me!

Oh snap...

Nipple contact.

Remember!

The stronger you get,

the more powerful you are.

The more powerful you are,

the more you can accomplish.

Yes, ma'am!

Three...! four!

All I want out of life is to be

able to motorboat that booty!

Don't think I don't know

you're having disgusting,

sexually charged thoughts

about me right now!

Look, I can't help it,

I'm a teenager,

if I get within

ten feet of a hot girl

I start thinking about

what she looks like naked.

Speaking of which,

I wonder what's keeping her?

Who...?

I'm just gonna

imagine her naked, too.

Hey, you guys, I'm here!

So sorry that I'm late...

I swear, I won't let

it happen again-

I'm no good at running and

talking at the same time.

Here ya go.

Thanks a lot.

So, tell me, what are

you doing here anyway?

Oh, Rias asked me

if I could come.

That true?

Why would you do that...?

Rias?

I'm sorry.

What's the matter,

is everything okay?

Now that everybody's here,

we should probably go.

Um, go where?

We're going to

your house of course.

Uh... Whose boxes are these?

Yeah, that's all my stuff.

Yours?

Apparently, I had more

than I thought I did.

But why did you bring it here?

What's going on?

Well, as of today,

Asia's going to be moving in

with you and your parents.

She's what?

It's very sweet

of you to let me!

When I asked her

where she'd like to live,

the first thing she said

was, 'Issei's house.'

Hey!

Who the hell said I was

looking for a roommate?!

Uh, Sorry, what was your

name again, was it Asia?

Close, it's Asia.

Right, uh, listen Asia,

surely there's a better

long-term living situation

than moving in with us.

The thing is, I owe your son

and I need to pay him back.

Owe him?

Yeah...

I came to this

town all by myself,

and I don't know

what I would have done

if it wasn't for Issei...

He took care of me,

and now, if it's okay,

I'd like to have the

chance to take care of him.

Wow...

That's so nice.

But if it puts you out in any

way, I can go somewhere else.

Ohh!

Darling, we're not

saying you can't stay here,

and Lord knows we have the room,

it's just the thing is...

Issei...

Issei is an abnormally

horny child.

He's a pervert and

he's not to be trusted.

Well put.

Come on, Dad, how can you

say that about your own son?!

In addition to room and board,

there's something else

she can get out of

living here with you...

She can learn to be a good wife.

She can learn what?

All these years, I never thought

we'd actually find someone

willing to sleep

with this big lunk

and give us some grandchildren!

Dad!

Maybe a marriage will get rid of

his unhealthy obsession

with the p*rn!

Mom, you're k*lling me!

I'm sure you both know this...

But I wanted to say that

your son is a great guy.

Well, isn't she

cute as a button?!

Sure is...!

Miss Rias, we would

love to take in Asia,

and let her live

with our pervert son.

This may be his only chance!

Thank you very much

for your kindness

mister and misses Hyodo...

I guess that settles it.

Uh, just cuz everyone's

talking about marriage,

doesn't mean we're

really doing it.

Right?

If you're lucky.

You okay?

My name is Asia Argento.

I'm feeling a bit like

a fish out of water...

But I'm excited to be here.

Shorty's hot!

Bust: thirty four, waist:

twenty six, hips: thirty five.

And look at all that hair!

Awesome.

She's gonna be in my class.

Rias must have

pulled some strings.

Being in a new school

in a strange town

can be overwhelming, but

luckily I'm staying with Issei!

Bastard!

Yo, what the eff, you tellin'

me that hottie lives with you

and you ain't dropped a

dime to your homies bout it?!

Come on dude, don't

hold out, tell us your secret,

have you sworn off

p*rn or something?!

Look, I didn't have

anything to do with this!

Yo, seriously though dawg,

what's her situation?

This is great, I think people

are really gonna like her here.

Hey, Asia...?

Listen.

Your room has a lock, right?

Yeah.

I bet he like masturbates

in the bathroom,

so watch out for pubes.

I'll have to keep that in mind.

Also, there could be

hidden cameras planted

all over the house,

so check everything.

Oh, okay.

All right everyone,

that's enough!

You must be exhausted.

No, I'm wide awake,

I'm still excited about how

nice everyone was today...!

Especially your two best

friends, Matsuda and Motohama!

Hey, they didn't do

anything creepy, did they?

No, but they said they

wanted to invite me

to something called

a 'devil's three-way'?

Whatever you do, promise

me you won't go to that.

Okay.

You okay?

Yeah, I'm fine,

don't worry about me.

You all right?

Heck yeah, I'm fine.

Kay.

Hey...

Asia and I just got back!

Earth to Rias?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I guess I spaced out

there for a little bit...

It's been one of those days.

Asia?

Yes ma'am?

If you don't have

any problems with it,

I was thinking you could

make your big debut tonight.

Debut?

Basically, you jump

to a potential client

using a magic circle and try

to make a pact with them...

But don't you think it

might be too early for that?

I mean, Asia's brand new;

she hasn't even been

a devil for a week.

You need to relax.

Don't you worry your precious

pumpkin head about her,

she'll be totally awesome;

when it comes to magical powers,

that girl's got almost

as much game as I do.

Are you serious?

I couldn't agree

with you guys more.

Didn't make her my

bishop for nothing.

Congrats on that, too:

bishop's impressive.

Uh...

Thanks a lot.

I should be happy for her,

but I kind of want

to k*ll myself...

Wait...

I may be a shitty pawn, but

at least I know my way around!

Asia's not ready

to go out there alone!

Asia, what's wrong, you okay?

Oh, I'm fine...

I'm just nervous, that's all...

Rias!

Yeah?

I think it'd be better

if I went in Asia's place.

Really??

Yeah...

Of course...

You haven't been in

the area long enough

to know your way around yet...

We'll send you out

after you've had a chance

to get a better

feel for the place.

I'm glad I volunteered

to go on her behalf.

These summon requests

can be dangerous;

there's no telling what

could be waiting for you

on the other side.

Don't be scared.

I'm gonna make a pact with you

and then you're gonna

do whatever I say...

Please don't!

Isn't that right, little girl?!

Really, Issei?

The monster rips

her clothes off too?

Door's open,

come on in sweet tits.

Sweet tits...?

I'm leaving...

Yep.

What's the , girl...?

I'm Miltan!

Nice to meet you...

You didn't by any chance

happen to summon a devil

from the house of

Gremory, did you?

You know it, bitch...

This tall drink of

chardonnay has a wish

she wants your ass to fulfill.

Look here, Tiny Tim,

Miltan wants you

to turn her into a

magical fairy princess!

Yeah and I wish I looked

like an underwear model.

Let's be real here, sweetie.

Dude, you're missing the point!

Come on, devil man!

There's nothing I can do!

Please just give

me fabulous powers;

I'll let you lick my lollipop.

Trust me on this, bro,

you're fabulous enough already.

But I want to be super-magical

like a fairy in a pink tutu!

Quiet...!

You need to take

it down a notch,

you don't wanna wake

the neighbors, do you?!

All right, we can talk about it.

Perfect.

While we talk we should

paint our nails and gossip!

Yeah, whatever,

let's just go inside!

I've got a dazzling idea...

To get us in the mood,

let's watch this amazing

episode of Magical Milky Girl,

she's only the

most fabulous hooker

our side of the

pacific, b'okay?!

k*ll me now...

Take me outside and

sh**t me in my stupid face.

I'm starting to think

I'm some sorta creepster magnet.

Crap, it's Rias.

Congratulations!

I just got word you

finished the job...

So how'd it go?

Uh... Weird?

Dude...!

Check it out!

Those gym shorts

are so scandalous

if you catch the right angle,

you'll get a full on panty sh*t!

Aww, snap!

I think I see it, homie!

There's def some lacy bits

comin' out them booty shorts!

So, once again,

you didn't get a pact.

He, or she, or whatever made

me watch a bunch of anime

which actually turned out

to be pretty good stuff.

But that was it.

Well...

I'm disappointed to

hear it didn't work out.

Surprise, surprise, I screwed

the pooch yet again...!

Ah, I'm such a freakin' idiot!

Oh who cares...?

This day sucks, I'm gonna

skip class and go take a nap.

Holy crap!

Oh no, my hand's

moving on its own!

No...!

Stop it right hand, don't do it!

Okay, go ahead and do it.

Hi there, Issei.

I totally wasn't about

to grab your dink-dinks!

I'm sorry, I felt

a little sleepy,

so I thought

I'd grab a quick nap.

You were already here,

so I had to join you...

Oh, my wings.

Hey... You okay?

Yeah, it's just...

...most people don't

take naps in the nude,

that's not exactly

normal, you know?

I'm sorry, but I can't

sleep unless I'm naked.

So, Issei, would you say

you're a big admirer of breasts?

Boobs're good.

Do you wanna touch mine...?

You can if you want.

Wanna touch my boobs...?

You can if you want.

I'm sorry.

Did I just die and

go to fun bag heaven?

If you promise to do what I ask;

I promise I'll let

you touch them.

Yes...!

Anything!

Okay...

I want you to go out there

right now and get a pact.

Do you really think it's

necessary for us to go together?

Absolutely, it's never a bad

thing to have a seasoned pro

by your side when

you're out on a big job.

That's true, there's no way

I can fail if she's with me.

Titty twisting time!

Good luck, Issei!

You'll do great!

Thanks, I'm feeling

good about this!

Get ready you guys!

I'm sending you now!

This place is cool.

If your definition of cool is a

nerd who collects samurai stuff.

Umm...

You're the devils, right?

Wow, definitely didn't

see that one coming...

So you're a girl?

Yep.

I'm Susan-san and I'm a

foreign exchange student.

I love Japanese culture;

it's totally Kkru.

Guess that explains your outfit.

This area's really

scary at night,

so I wear this samurai 'yofuku'

to scare all the

bad people away.

Well, it's creepy;

I'll give you that much.

ArigatM!

I'm so glad

you're a nice devil...

If you'd been kowai

I'd have no choice

but to grab my samurai

blade, draw on you

and slice you up like sushi!

Take it easy!

So, Susan, tell me...

what can we do for you today?

Well...

The thing is, I left

my notebook at school

and I'm too scared to go

and get it by my jiko.

Wait...

Is that it?

You don't understand,

it's super scary out there!

Not nearly as scary as you are.

Yep, it's official.

I am absolutely,

one hundred percent,

a full blown creepster magnet.

Hey, what is it?!

Sorry.

Like I said, it's

really scary out here.

And like I said,

you're the scary one!

ArigatM gozaimashita!

I have no idea what

the hell you just said.

This is about to be

the best day of my life!

I got one free ticket

on the tits train

to tig ol bitty city and

it's about to leave the station!

First, I'm gonna bang those bean

bags like they're bongo drums!

Then I'm gonna put my

face in 'em and ppbbbbtttt.

Sumimasen?

You're really starting

to freak me out!

I hate to be a bother,

but there's one more

sansei I need you to do.

And I hate to be a

bummer, but no way.

Only one request per visit.

Nonsense, we'd be glad to help.

Are you kidding me?!

Tell me about this guy.

I really like him, but

I'm kind of a shy Shouju...

I don't know how

to talk to hitobito.

I bet he's a total samurai nerd,

complete with armor,

a sword and his virginity.

You want us to make him fall

in love with you, is that it?

Oh, no.

I don't want to

force him to Koi me.

I want him to Koi me on his own.

I'd like to Koi you

right in the face!

So...

Have you tried opening up to him

and telling him how you feel?

Oh...

No, I couldn't...

I wouldn't even

know where to begin!

What about a letter?

A rabureta?

Not bad...

A love letter might just work.

You think so?

Writing down what you

feel can be a great way

to express yourself.

Daijobu...

I'll give it a try!

"Shall I compare thee

to a summer's day?"

This is gonna be pafekuto.

Isn't the whole point to write

something that's original?

I think it's great.

The only thing that matters

is the feeling you

communicate, not the form.

Well, using someone

else's feelings

seems like a copout to me.

It's hard...

To say the way you feel.

It's so hard...

But it's good.

Okay?

Sore de kimatta!

Oh for crying out loud.

That's how you're

gonna send the letter?!

Mommy, mommy, look, what's that?

Just keep walking...

Come on!

Oh man...

No way this ends good.

It looks like he's here.

The arrow!

This is bad.

You sh*t him right

in the f*cking head!

Yeah...

Sorry, I have good aim...

I tried to think of other ways,

but sh**ting the arrow at

him seemed to be the best.

Oh sh*t, that guy

looks really pissed off.

I've perused your

letter, my lady,

and I'm sh*t through the heart!

Not the head!

To think that I, of all people,

would be caught

off guard like this...

I'm truly overwhelmed.

I'm so head over bearskin boot

in Koi, You were all

I could think of, Horii.

My Samurai!

Am I the only one who feels

like they're going crazy?

If you'll have me,

I'd be honored to be your

knight in shining yoroi.

Oh, Horii-san!

Ai shi teru!

Susan-san!

Your helmet's magnificent!

No.

Your helmet's so hard,

and your nihonto is so long!

Those two sure were

a match made in armor.

More like a match made

in the insane asylum.

So what do you think?

About what?

About being together

with the person you love

more than anything in the world.

Well, I don't know...

I guess it sounds kinda nice.

Yes, it does...

Very nice.

Plus.

It's way better than hanging out

with someone

you don't even like,

and making them like you

and then screwing them over!

Now that would be super shitty.

Someone like-Never mind.

Don't listen to me, I'm

emotionally damaged I think.

No, please...

I'm glad you gave

me a real answer.

But never mind that...

You said you wanted to

talk to me about something.

Yeah, that's right!

No one else is around!

It's time for Issei Hyodo

to play a tiddy-ditty

on her dueling banjos!

Your gazongas!

It's about your gazongas!

What are you saying, Issei...?

I've no idea to

what you're referring.

No fair, you said if I got

a pact I could touch them!!!

I never said that.

I'm just teasing you,

I'll make good on my promise...

Now then...

From this moment until

I finish counting to five...

They're all yours...

You can squeeze away.

Score!

One.

Wait a second...!

You've gotta give me

some warning here!

Two.

We're at two and I haven't

even formulated a plan yet.

Three.

All right, Issei, get

your sh*t together...!

Should I go for the right...?

Or feel up the left?

Four.

Dude, moment of truth.

Gotta be the double

pinch nipple twist!!!

Oh hey there, Issei...

I didn't know you

were gonna be here!

Are we too late?

What it do.

Five.

Aww, sorry Issei, it looks

like you're outta time.

You look like somebody just

kicked you in the balls, honey!

It sure feels like it.

Issei, you're so ridiculous,

do you know that...?

You cannot possibly be

that hard up to cop a feel.

All right...

Fine...

But this is all you get.

Uh... You do realize everyone's

staring at us, right?

Next time, do your job well,

whether there's a reward or not.

Yeah... cool.

No way...

Rias is totally into him...

Sorry to interrupt

Whoa, what the heck

is she doing here?!

I'd like to see them play a

little two on two on my junk!

I'm so slimy and wet!

No!

Dude, this is the best thing

that has ever happened!