02x05 - Vapors

[bunniefuu]

This is a dollar.

One dollar
equals one fish.

Why?

Well, you asked me
what money is, right?

Right.
Right.

Well, money is what
you get when you work.

Remember the time
the hydraulic fluid
leaked into the moon pool.

Slime in water.

Right. Right.
And what'd you do?
You helped fix the leak.

That's work.

Now, say for that work
you get money

and the money
you get is $.

Okay.

Now, if $
equals one fish,

how many fish
does $ equal?

Ten.

Right. Yeah.

So, say you want five fish.

How many... How many dollars
do you need to get five fish?

Don't need money.

I go get fish.

Well, yeah. Well, say
you can't leave
seaQuest to get fish.

Lucas gives me fish.

Yeah. Well, say
I won't give you fish
unless you give me money.

Why?

Well, because that's the way
the world works, Darwin.

No money, no fish?

Yeah. Yeah.
Right, exactly.

That sucks.

Darwin?

Darwin.

Oh!

You keep your hands
off my vocorder.

You're teaching Darwin
things he doesn't
need to know.

If he had hands,
you'd be teaching him
how to pick locks.

Yeah? Hello.

Anthony?
Where's Anthony? Tony?

What's that? What's he doing?

Swimming.

Swimming? What for? Why?

Hey, you. You tell him
to meet me at Buddy's.

You tell him that Nick
has got trouble.

You guys
got any plans?

Well, busman's holiday.

Hey, patrolling
for full-body tans.

And we got room
on the skiff.

Cool. Thanks.
What's up with O'Neill?

No, O'Neill's
skating on thin ice.

Hey, look, give me .

You got it.
Ten!

You got it.

I'm very excited
that you want
to see my project.

When we get inside
just stand still.

Let your eyes adjust.

Entering
climate-controlled facility.

Ninety-five degrees,
% humidity.

Please rehydrate
at appropriate intervals.

It doesn't feel
like a lab, does it?

Oh, it feels like
nightfall in paradise.

Jasmine,
tropical song birds.

Do the bird songs
stimulate plant growth?

I don't know.

I put them in here
because they stimulate me.

And what about
the moving light?

Well, we're trying
to duplicate
photosynthetic light.

You know,
like in a rain forest.

Oh.

Now, right underneath
your feet here

are thousands of
succulent leaf plants.

In square feet of water

we raise enough lettuce
to cover half an acre
of farmland.

I mean, underwater colonies
could be self-sustaining
on this stuff forever.

And famine.

Just think of all
the people in the world

who have to subsist on
a handful of coarse grain

when they could have
the pleasure of all these
wonderful tastes.

Look, genus rubus,

fragaria, ananas comosus.

What?

I've never seen
a man so enthusiastic

about fruit
and vegetables before.

Well, it's not just
the produce.

It's the possibility
of feeding the world.

Is that all?

Isn't that enough?

Well, it's more than enough,
I just wondered if

it was all the reason
you were so exuberant.

You trying to read
my mind again?

No, maybe your heart.

What's the downside
of being telepathic?

Um, sometimes
I can read thoughts
I'd rather not hear.

Crowds wear me out.

And walls.

Some people can
put up walls around
their thoughts.

Usually it's telepaths.

You have a wall up
right now.

What's wrong?

It's my wife, Carol.

She fought all her life
for this kind
of hydro-culture.

I guess I'm missing her.

Is this for her?

Part of it. Yeah.

To keep her alive?

A little, I suppose.

What about your life?

What is this plant?

Uh, that's pistia stratiotes,
water lettuce.

You sensing something?

An emotional disturbance
in the water.

Sorry, I can't see through
all that rabbit food.

Permission to go, sir?

Permission granted.

And don't come up
this way ever again.

Yes, sir.

He's upset.
I should...

Yeah. I've got to...

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, boy.

Who's Nick?

What's the difference?

Nothing,
he's in trouble.

When is he in anything else?

Well, I wouldn't know, Tony.

He wants you to meet him
at Buddy's.

I tracked the call.
I've got an address.

I know where Buddy's is.

You know, it's never,
"Just called to check in, kid.

"See how you're doing.

"Miss you, pal."

Oh.

Oh, what?

Oh, that's why you're upset.

Oh, why?

Nick's your father.

You're from
a dysfunctional family.

He split early.
Comes back to play dad

when it suits him,
not you.

That's why you call him Nick.

Okay, so you're a genius.

How did you figure that out?

'Cause I've been there.

I come from
a broken home, too.

Then why are you
so prissy?

Well, I come from
a better class
of failed relationships.

Perfect. Come with me.

No. I've got enough
to carry around
with my own father.

He's gonna ask me
to do something
I shouldn't do.

I need an excuse.

Oh, so you want me
to be your excuse?

No. I want you
to be my friend.

Yeah, okay. All right.

Now, Buddy lives
in a tough
neighborhood, so...

"Buddy lives in
a tough neighborhood."
You're funny.

You should change.

I should change?

I should change what?
What? My appearance
or my personality?

Your shirt. Wear something
that's not screaming,
"Mug me."

Here, I think
these work, too.

Hello, Nathan.

Doctor.

Your pulse is racing.

Is there a crisis?

Yeah.

I looked into
a pair of eyes today.

I mean, I've looked into
these eyes before,

but today I fell in
up to my lungs.

You're experiencing
infatuation.

I don't get infatuations.

I'm years older
than she is.

It's an infatuation,
not a life commitment.

I feel very, very odd.

Odd or exhilarated?

Odd.

Why?

Thirty years ago,
I dated her mother.

This situation
is outside my parameters.

You need to speak
to a human being.

I'm not close enough
to any human being
on this boat

to discuss this.

That is a more serious problem
than being infatuated.

Find one.

I saw them.
They were smooching
and cooing

in the hydroponics lab.

Kiss, kiss. The old man
and Doctor Smith,
were making out.

It's okay. I'll wait.

No! We can make room.
Come on.

No, I'm fine.

I'm fine. I'll wait.

Mag-Lev engaged.

Be seated to avoid injury.

Next stop...

Please watch your step.

Board shuttle one at a time.

Hey, Dagwood.

What are you doing
laboring for, pal?
We're on leave.

Labor is my life.

Yeah. Well, now
partying's your life.

I got it all dialed in.
You drive. Lucas pays.

Hey, you know how to get
to the load out district?

Come on!

This is great.

Okay, Nick,
what is it?

Finally.

Anthony, you look good.

Just like your mother.

Who is that? A dagger?

He's my friend.
What do you want?

Who's the bean pole?
What is this, questions?

What do you want?
Anthony, I'm in trouble.

You get caught cheating again?

No, I didn't get caught
cheating again.

Yeah, sure.

A year ago
he remarries my mother,

which let's you know
how nuts she is.

First thing he does
is date the bar maid
from his reception.

You get caught cheating
for the umpteenth time,

don't expect me
to come bail you out.

You gonna help me or not?

No!

Fine!

Quit staring at me.

I imagine my father
to be like you.

Only, with a brain.

Oh, please.
I'm surrounded over here.

I appreciate
you coming, Lucas,
leave me alone.

You're gonna
really regret this.

I've regretted him
for years.

Look, he's k*lling himself
in there, okay?

Maybe you should just
try saying goodbye.

Maybe try calling him Dad.

Maybe buy him a tie.

Dance here?

Okay, Dad, what is it?

I can't talk now.

Being watched.

So you gonna
help me or not?

I will or I won't.
Either way, who else
are you gonna ask?

Listen, I got a box.

You gotta find it
and you gotta destroy
the contents.

What's in the box?

It's not illegal.

Well, that's a first.

It's not.

You gotta do this
for me. Come here.

The pills that I got...

Yeah, in the playground...

You are pathetic!

Hey, sweetness, do you mind?
This is between me
and my father.

Did he tell you
where he put them?

Put what?
My RU .

What?
My RU .

My Swiss
oral cosmetics.

My pills. Did he tell you
where he put them?

Who are you?

Marie.

Marie. Marie who?

Marie Piccolo.

Are we Greek?

Hey, Tony,
what's going on here?

I don't know. I think
this is Marie Piccolo.

My mother.

Your mother?

Yeah, right.

Yeah, she's his mother.

Hey, what are you thinking?

I think I need
to sit down.

See, what did
I tell you?

You are violating
the laws of nature.

I am trying to make
the most out of myself!

You okay?
Yeah.

Yeah. Your mother, Tony.
I'm sorry. I had no idea.

Mom.

Tim.

Tim.

I'm sorry.

Pretty rude of me.

You're really absorbed
in this painting.

Well, yeah.

Do you understand it?

Completely.

It's about the taboo
of shipboard romances.

Isn't that why
there's shore leave?

Well, shore leave's generally
for romancing someone
you don't sail with.

The girl in every port.

Or guy. Whichever.

But not the same guy
and girl in every port.

If you're having
second thoughts
about our date...

No, no, I'm having
a great time.

It's just that I'm worried
about what's gonna happen
when we put to sea.

Maybe we should just think
about right now.

There's a rumor
a real shipboard romance

is brewing in
the executive quarters.

Oh, yeah.
I heard about that one.

Although, I couldn't
go out with a woman
who could read my mind.

Why?

She wouldn't want to.

Alone.

I want in.

I want in.

I want in this club.

A $ tab, $. tip.

Cheap sissy.

I don't wanna die.

I don't want pain.

I don't wanna die alone.

God, please.

I don't wanna die
in a small room alone.

Not alone.

I want in.

$. tip.
Cheap sissy.

I don't want pain.

I want in this club.

I don't wanna die.

Gentlemen.

Captain.
Captain.

Hey, Captain.

So, what do you think?

Smith and the old man
really got
something going on?

It's not our business.

True, but it's fun
to speculate.

Speculating's a great sport.

Listen, guys, why don't
we just focus
on finding our own dates?

I mean, why are we taking
what Piccolo says
seriously, anyway?

Who listens to him?

This is nuts?

This is nuts?

I am not buying it?

You're not my mother,
because you're younger
than me.

And you,
you're a scam artist.

How low can you sink,
trying to run a play
past your own kid?

Tony, Tony,
I just want my pills.

Get me my pills.
He told you
where he put them.

Get your own pills, lady.

I am not a lady,
I am your mother!

Hey! I don't want her
having no pills.

Look at her eyes,
she thinks she's .

I look .

It's like putting
aluminum siding on a building.

It looks nice outside,

but inside
there's rusty pipes.

You, you had no right
to take my pills.

They sound like
they're married.

I know.

Look at how good
she looks.

It's making me sick.

Good looks
should please you.

I'm pleased.
That's what's making me sick.

I don't know
how to deal with this.

I think they're bad for you.

Is this so bad
for a year old?

You want to know
what's bad? You!

You who sit here like
a smoldering heap of methane,

wasting away
all these working hours

in this tobacco den,
k*lling yourself.

Why don't you get a real job?

Again with the job?

Again with the job!

You're gonna have to leave.

Shut up!
Get out of there! Get...

Hey! Hey! Hey!
Hey! Hey!
You let her go.

Leave her alone!
Leave her alone!

We're leaving.
They're staying.

I'm gonna get
your pills.

I'm going with you.

No! No, you're not.

Don't give her
no pills.

Hey!

Don't give her no pills.

Tony, please.

I want to be young!

Oh, yes.

Very nice.

Can I see?

It's not that nice, Ortiz.

Stay the course.

Looks great from here.

No, no, no. It looks
good from here,
but not great.

What we want is great.

Yeah. Well, how do
you guys
define great?

Well, great is not
just shear
physical excellence.

Great includes spiritual
and intellectual excellence.

Absolutely.

And you can see
all that through
the binoculars?

Oh, yeah!
Yes!

But do you know what's
really, really
great, Miguel?

What?

You're driving.

I'm supposed to find
a human being to talk to

about my infatuation.

I haven't really
talked to anyone
since you've been gone.

Nick used to
bring me here.

Your dad
used to
bring you here.

Fine, my dad
used to bring me here.

Pretty much reflects
our relationship, huh?

Over here.
You don't like your father?

Something like that.

I would love my father.

If I could know him,
I would love him.

Well, you can
love your father
and not like him.

Which way is west?

You love your father
and not like him?

All the time.

It's better
I don't have a father?

No. No.

But families
and fathers and sons,

and I guess even mothers
and daughters,

can be difficult
relationships to figure out.

If the Sigmund Freud Society
would give it a rest,

I could use a hand over here.

It's good digging.

We got a lab
on seaQuest, right?

Yeah, but we need
trained personnel
to work those systems.

It's computer
technology, right?

You're a computer
genius, right?

I need to find out
what these are.

No, Tony, we could
get in a lot
of trouble for this.

You seen my mother.
I'm already in trouble.

Hey, Dagwood.

This is a swing?
Yeah, yeah it is. Come on.

I've never been pushed
on a swing.

Fathers must be good
for that.

Hey, guys, we've
been at this
for three hours.

Hey, quality takes time.

The sun is setting!

Look, if you're
gonna panic,
we'll never get anywhere.

No, no, no.
I passed panic
an hour ago.

What's wrong
with those?

Not a thing. You see,
it's not what's wrong,
it's what's right.

Yeah. Exactly.
Thank you.

Looks all right
to me.

Hey, where you going?

I know what's going on.

Hey, where you going?

You're not looking
for physical or spiritual
or intellectual perfection!

As focused as you two guys
are on your careers,

you're looking for
a bigger boat.

See you
at the Captain's barbecue.

You know,
maybe he's right.

Yeah.

Maybe we should be cruising
the yacht club.

Good idea.

You drive.

Hey, how come
I have to drive?

Hey, Ford,
how come I...

The next showing
of Key Largo in Activision

will begin in minutes.

Was that great,
or was that great?

You know,
they don't leave anything
to the imagination anymore.

I think I liked it better
in black and white.

I thought it was great.

I take it that you
thought it was great.

Look, my treat.
What do you want?

Oh, I don't know.

Um, two turtle sundaes.

Coming right up.

You know, they used to
seduce you into the story

with images and subtle
story-telling techniques.

But now they hurl
debris at you

and dare you to leave.

It's a joyride.

Thank you.

Well, there's not much
challenge in it.

Didn't you get that
from Salvador Dali?

Yes! Yeah!
Yeah, that was spectacular!

The images were clear
but subtle,

and they would sort of
draw you into the painting.

These are great.

Apparently everything is.

What does that mean?

Nothing.

Only there seems to be
a lot of great
going on in your life.

I'm having
a wonderful time.

How is it?

Great.
See.

We should take some of these
to the Captain's barbecue.

Um, "we"...

That probably
wouldn't be such
a great idea.

Why not?

You know.

Office romances.

We'll see each other there.

Are you ashamed
to be seen with me?

No.

I just don't think
it's such a great idea.

I mean, I think
we should stick
with this great thing.

You don't
have to be sarcastic.

I was being silly.

You're being mean.

I'm not being mean.
Yes, you were.

You've been mean
ever since I dragged you
into that theater.

No.

Absolutely.

No.

If I told you
that your taste
in culture

was vapid and infantile,

that would be mean.

Where do we start?

Med school. I don't know
how to work this stuff.

Well, there's gotta
be manuals around
here someplace.

I think it's this one.

Spectrum analysis.

Try to find a manual
for this one, okay?

Atomic spectrum
analysis system on line.

What's spectrophotoelectric
radiothorium?

Hello.

Dr. Smith...

Do you have any idea
the effort it takes to earn
an M.D. And a Ph.D.

By the time you're ?
No, I...

How many nights
you have to say no
to a good time

because you have to read?

No.
Twelve hundred and eighteen.

Do you know
how single-minded
you have to be

to earn the most
coveted science position

on the flagship
of the fleet?

No. I know we're not
supposed to be...

Let me tell you...

What's wrong with your mother?

She's taking these pills
and they're doing
weird things to her.

Everybody wants
to be young, Tony.

You shouldn't hold that
against her.

Yeah, I know.

It would mean more to me
if you said it out loud.

I'm sorry I told people
about you and the Captain.

What did you tell them, Tony?

Just that you were alone
in the hydroponics lab.

And?

And, you know, in an embrace.

A romantic embrace?

Well, yeah.

Did it ever occur to you
that we were clinging
to each other

because you practically
knocked me in the water?

Yeah, it just seemed to me
like there was romance
in the room.

I was wrong?

I'm gonna have to leave
seaQuest because of this.

Spectrum analysis complete.

Well, that's ridiculous.
You don't have to
leave seaQuest.

It was a misinterpretation.

Now it's an unfounded rumor.
You can change that.

Yeah, well, unfounded or not,
it has the appearance
of impropriety.

And the U.E.O.
Will see it

as interfering
with the Captain
carrying out his duties.

Doctor Smith, I'm sorry,

but what about
my mother's pills?

Your mother
will probably be okay.

Just don't let her
take any more.

I'm gonna send this out
to the U.E.O.

And we'll have
more information
in the morning.

I'm very sorry.

I forgive you, Tony.

Goodnight.

Goodnight, Dr. Smith.
Goodnight, Dagwood.

Dr. Smith, why does U.E.O.
Have to know
about this stupid rumor?

Because everybody
on the boat does.

They'll find out.
I don't see a choice.

I have to put in
for a transfer, Lucas.

Goodnight.

Yeah, goodnight.

Oh!

Oh, Anthony,
did you do it?

Dad.
Did you take care
of that thing?

All done.
Thank God.

Your mother
wouldn't let me
out of her sight.

Do you know
what you were giving her?

No, I guess it wasn't good.

Tony? Do you
have my pills?

No, Ma. I don't.

Honey, I need
my pills, please.

They're k*lling you.
Your father is k*lling me!

No. Marie, please.
Shut up!

Tony, honey,
I need my pills, baby.

Ma, they're poison.

RU was an insecticide,
was developed
as an insecticide.

Did you know that?
No! I didn't know that!

Where did you get them?
This guy...

This guy said that women
would love it.

Did he tell you
she'd die for it?

No, I swear.

This stuff burns your fat,
and when your fat's gone

it burns your muscle.
That's why you look so young.

It's eating out your insides

and what's left
is getting tight
around the bone.

Tony, I like the way
people look at me.

Look at me, Ma.
Look at me.

Look at the way
I'm looking at you.

I know we don't talk much,
but I need you to be old.

I... Older than me.

I need you to be there
like a mother's there.

Don't take my mother
away from me.

Make sure
she gets a physical.

This is everything
they know about the drug.

Oh, okay.

I love you, Ma.

Come on.

She's right
about you getting a job.

Okay.

Be nice if you called
once in a while
just to say hello.

I need a favor.

I want you to take this line
and run it over there

so I can string
these lanterns.

How much?

How much?
How much?

How much what?

How much money?

You want money?

$.

Who taught you about money?

Lucas.

Why?

That's the way
the world works.

Okay. That's it.

I'm gonna do it myself.

Hi.
Hi.

Thanks. I hope
you don't mind
I came early.

It's great.
Want some coffee?

I'd love some.
Come on up.

Cream and sugar?
Please.

Captain.

I'm submitting a request
to transfer.

Wendy, why don't
you come inside?

Here you are.

Oh, thanks.

I want to
show you something.

You know,
I'm the third generation
of women in my family

to be in some kind
of naval service.

It's a pretty unique
family tradition.

This is my grandmother.

You're forgetting,
I've met her.

Oh, that's right,
when you dated my mom.

Look at your mom,
she's terrific.

Look how straight
her back is.

She's serious about it.

Both my mother
and my grandmother

were strong-willed
and stand-up-to-things tough.

I don't have that.

I mean, I'm resolute
in my own way,

but I expend a lot of
energy trying to manage
my sixth sense.

I know you and my mother
were close.

And I thought with everything
that you've been through

that maybe in that darkness
of the lab,

maybe you saw my mother in me.

No, Wendy, no.
It was you.

I lost a son
when he was
years old.

Then I lost my wife,
whom I love very much.

She was my anchor.

The mistake I made
was clinging to her memory

as if that were the anchor,
the refuge.

I can't do that anymore.

You gave me a gift, Wendy.

You woke me up
to the simple fact
that I'm alive.

And having done that,
you can't take
a step back in your career

just because
things are a little
awkward now.

You're punishing yourself
for something
you didn't even do.

We can get past this.

You don't believe that.

Found us again,
hey, Piccolo?

You know, sir,
a side effect of having gills
is you get fish vision.

Like your eyes see
what's on the side
of your head,

but whatever's straight
in front of you,
you're blind as a bat.

I'm dead.

Lucas, what does
he think he's doing?

Dagwood!

Dagwood?

I wish my brother George
was here.

Thank you.

See.

Now I'm gonna
have to listen to that
for months, maybe years.

Maybe you'll get lucky
and not live that long.

Hey!
Hi!

You know, yesterday
I almost asked my mother
out on a date.

I mean, I didn't
recognize her.

She was taking
these pills.

RU ?

Yeah, that's it.

Oh, don't let her.

Already taken care of.

Good.

It's tough enough
being young,

I can't imagine anyone
taking a pill for it.

She looked good, though.

I didn't recognize her.

Apparently not.

Can I...

Can I talk to you
about this 'cause I...

I don't know who else to ask
and I feel pretty weird.

I need someone
to talk to myself.

I...

I heard you're probably
not gonna leave.

No, I'm not
gonna leave.

That's good.

Hi, I'm Rosalind Allen
and this is Moose,

an orphaned manatee calf

being cared for
by SeaWorld's rehabilitation
unit in Orlando.

Moose will grow to be
about feet long

and weigh around
pounds.

His life expectancy is
about years,

but manatees as a species
are endangered.

Less than
remain in the wild.

Rescue programs
like SeaWorld's

aim to help
repopulate the ocean

with these gentle creatures.

See you on the next adventure
of seaQuest.