(train whistle blows)
♪ Come ride the little train ♪
♪ That is rollin' down the
tracks to the Junction ♪
(bell clanging)
♪ Forget about your cares ♪
♪ It is time to relax
at the Junction ♪
(whistle blows twice)
♪ Lots of curves, you bet ♪
♪ And even more when you get ♪
♪ To the Junction ♪
♪ Petticoat Junction ♪
(snare drum plays train rhythm)
♪ There's a little hotel called
the Shady Rest at the Junction ♪
♪ Petticoat Junction ♪
♪ It is run by Kate, come and
be her guest at the Junction ♪
♪ Petticoat Junction ♪
♪ And that's Uncle Joe,
he's a-movin' kinda slow ♪
♪ At the Junction ♪
♪ Petticoat Junction! ♪
(train whistle blows)
♪♪
JOE: Kate! Kate!
(barking)
My land, I don't believe it.
Your Uncle Joe is running.
Kate!
(gasping): Kate, you'll...
Uncle Joe, take it easy.
Kate... (panicky gibberish)
You don't say.
Y-You remember...
remember when the D.A.
was campaigning and
he said he was gonna
blow the roof off the
county courthouse?
Yeah.
Well, he just did; it's gone.
You mean somebody took it?
They can't find
it... An expl*si*n.
- What?
- They can't find it.
- Oh, Uncle Joe.
- Yeah, it was an accident.
The D.A. was summing
up his case before the jury,
when he flicked his cigar
ashes in Exhibit "A," and pow,
there went the roof.
- Did anybody get hurt?
- No.
Well, what was Exhibit "A"?
It was cleaning solvent.
No, wait a minute,
that was Exhibit "C."
Exhibit "B" is a fire alarm box.
Cleaning solvent, fire
alarm box, fire extinguisher...
What kind of a case is it?
Shoplifting.
Eustace Pockle.
Hey, you know what
they found in his room
besides the solvent
and the fire extinguisher
and the fire alarm box?
50 pounds of ski wax,
three pairs of
binoculars, ten cameras...
(chuckles softly) Poor Eustace.
I guess they'll put him
away for sure this time.
Yeah, probably.
But you know you
can never be sure.
He demanded a jury trial.
Probably go on
for days and days.
Well, that'll make the
Pixley Hotel happy.
That'll make the
eighth locked-up jury
they've had this month.
How come they get
all the jury business?
Well, they're handy
to the courthouse.
Yeah? Well, supposing
they were full up?
What would they
do with the jury then?
(chuckling): Oh,
don't worry, Uncle Joe.
They're never filled up
any more than we are.
There might be a
convention or something.
What kind of convention?
That's right, I'm
the Royal Order
of the American Buffalo Heads.
I'm the head Head.
What do you mean, you
never heard of our organization?
Didn't you see the
newsreel pictures of us
parading down Broadway
last Thanksgiving Day,
holding on to all them
big blowed-up animals?
(stammers)
What I wanted to talk
to you about is, uh,
taking over your
hotel there in Pixley
for an informal convention
we just decided to throw.
Tonight.
Why not?
What jury?
Look, mister...
if you'd rather have
a jury staying there
instead of a hundred
free-spending Heads...
What?
Why don't you call
the sheriff and tell him
to put his jury someplace else?
An informal convention of what?
The Royal Order of
American Buffalo Herds?
- Heads.
- What?
How are things going, Sheriff?
I never heard of 'em.
Having a bi-big parade when?
Thanksgiving.
Uh, they march
holding onto what?
Big blowed-up animals.
Look, Joe, will you butt out?
This is official business.
Who you talking to?
The desk clerk
at the Pixley Hotel.
Let me talk to him.
Wait a minute now... Hi, Toby.
Joe Carson.
Yeah, I hear you're having a
big informal convention over there.
Yeah, well, (laughs)
news gets around this town fast.
Yeah, they must be
a great bunch of guys,
them Buffalo Heads
marching on Thanksgiving.
Give me that.
Hello. Look.
I need some rooms to lock up
the Pockle jury tonight.
Well, all right, then
check with your manager.
You're in kind of a spot with
the highway commission, huh?
Yeah. He said what?
I guess you people, uh,
have forgotten all the business
I've been sending your way.
This would make the
eighth jury this month.
(grunts)
(grunts)
All right, if you
won't play ball, uh,
there's a few violations
around that hotel
that, uh, I've been overlooking.
All right, you'll be
hearing from me, though.
You know, Sheriff,
it's a lucky thing for you
I dropped in just when I did.
I don't feel that way about it.
You needing rooms for your jury,
and me being the manager
of the Shady Rest Hotel.
Say, do you think
Kate could put 'em up?
Well, we're pretty
busy right now.
The county pays
three dollars a day.
Make it four?
Three dollars a juror.
The-the court sets the price.
Three and a half.
Three.
There are a few
violations at the Shady Rest
that I've overlooked, too.
Okay, three dollars.
We ain't uncivic-minded
like that Pixley Hotel,
forget our civic duty
the minute a bunch
of Buffalo Heads come to town.
Who's coming?
The jury.
What jury?
The Eustace Pockle Jury.
Well, what are they
coming here for?
Kate, a lucky thing happened.
The Pixley Hotel
is all filled up.
And they're expecting
a convention.
What convention?
The Royal Order of
American Buffalo Heads.
Uncle Joe, what's the
jury coming here for?
Well, uh... Did
you hijack the jury?
Well, Kate, that Pixley
Hotel's been robbing
the county blind for years,
charging three dollars a day.
Well, we couldn't
do it for any less.
Don't worry, Kate.
We're getting four.
Three dollars for
the room and board,
and I didn't mention
the blankets.
That's where the other
dollar'll come from.
Oh.
I wonder what
it'll cost the county
for the jury when
you're on trial?
Kate, they'll be
here any minute.
We've got to figure out
where we're gonna put 'em.
You got 'em here.
You figure it out.
It ain't hard.
The bailiff gave me
a list of all the names.
You just got to
go at it scientific.
Go.
Hand me that.
Now, this partially
peeled potato is Otis Clute.
It does have his eyes.
Now, Otis is in number five.
Let's see, uh, who
will we put in with him?
Oh, how about Jim Updegraf?
Uh, uh, uh.
Cucumber doesn't
agree with Otis Clute.
He'll only be
there for one night.
Now, in number six,
we'll put this tomato.
That's Roma Ketteson.
That's Roma's figure, all right.
I got her bunking
with Eleanor Standish.
Ooh, how about this
eggplant for Eleanor?
Okay.
Now, this radish is Rudy Blanch.
I got him in number
seven with Bruce Biglow,
the bell pepper.
- Oh, you can't do that.
- Why not?
Because Rudy Radish
and Bruce Bell Pepper
don't get along.
(laughs) That's right.
Then I'll have to switch
the pepper for the cucumber
and the radish for the potato.
Well, Uncle Joe,
that's splendid.
Now, where are we gonna sleep?
Oh, don't worry about that.
I'll work out a way.
(snoring)
♪♪
KATE: Uncle Joe, wake up!
What's the matter?
There's somebody out
here who wants to see you.
Who?
Me.
Oh, Kate.
Kate!
(snoring)
(indistinct chatter)
The jury wants more eggs.
They've already had
four helpings each.
More pancakes, Mom.
And more bacon.
You know something?
If that jury deliberates
half as fast as they eat,
they're gonna be out
of here before lunch.
(indistinct chatter)
Hi, Vince.
(stammers, shushes)
Where do you think you're going?
Why, to eat my breakfast.
What? Not in the
dining room, you ain't.
The jury's in there.
Well, where am I
supposed to eat?
In the kitchen.
Okay.
You can't go in the
dining room nor through it.
Now, you go on
around the back way.
Being bailiff's started going
to your head, Vince Tucker.
Remember, I knew you when
you were in charge of muzzles
for the sheriff's bloodhounds.
Oh, when are they
gonna stop eating
and start deliberating?
Imagine the nerve of
that bailiff making me walk
all the way around the
house to get my breakfast?
Well, what have we got?
I'm hungry as a bear.
Here you are, Smokey.
You call that breakfast?
You're the one that
brought the jury here.
More bacon.
(indistinct chatter)
Poor Eustace Pockle.
He's being tried by
a panel of vultures.
(grunting)
You can't sit in the lobby.
Why not?
'Cause nobody ain't allowed
to overhear the
jury deliberating.
Well, for crying out loud.
They've been deliberating
for two days now.
What's taking 'em so long?
It's got to be them women.
One woman on a
jury is bad enough,
but this one's got to have five.
Joe, I told you to...
Women never know
when to shut up.
It's blab, blab, blab,
blab all the time.
Joe, will you please...?
If this was an all-man jury,
it would have been
over and done with.
If Eustace was
guilty, he'd be in jail.
If he was innocent, he'd
be out shoplifting again.
Now, you take Cissy
Waldo in there...
Joe Carson, if
you don't shut up,
I'm gonna ban
you from the hotel.
Now, you get out of this lobby
while the jury's in session.
How come you can stay?
What'd you say?
(indistinct chatter)
(rustling)
(yawns)
Kate, they've
reached a decision.
At last! What is it?!
They're ready for lunch.
They must be starved.
They haven't had a bite
to eat in at least an hour.
♪♪
♪♪
(snoring)
(indistinct chatter)
(snoring)
(chuckles)
Well, I see you're in
the same old place.
You know, if that jury doesn't
reach a verdict pretty soon,
I'm moving the stove and
the icebox into the dining room.
Kate, that jury is a
hard one to figure out.
They have took 15 ballots,
but I don't never hear
no argument going on.
How could you? Their
mouths are always full.
CHARLEY: Open the door, Floyd.
FLOYD: I can't, Charley.
I've got my hands full.
CHARLEY: Well,
what do you think I got?
- Hi, Kate. Hi, Vince.
- Hi, Kate. Hi, Vince.
Elmer, say hello
to Kate and Vince.
- Elmer?
- Elmer can't talk.
He ain't got his teeth yet.
(cooing)
Oh. Hey, Grandpa Miller
can talk, and he ain't got teeth.
You can talk, and
you ain't got brains.
Give the baby to Kate.
The baby to Kate?
Clara Haverstraw's youngest.
What are you doing with it?
Well, she gave
Elmer to Mrs. Duncan
while she's serving on the jury.
Mrs. Duncan was only supposed
to babysit for three hours,
but like she said, "Lo and
behold, it's been three days."
(cooing)
So Mrs. Duncan gave us Elmer
so she could get
back to her own family.
Elmer liked riding
up in the cab with us,
but I guess he
got a little trainsick.
Yeah.
Here. You'll need this, Kate.
What is that?
Elmer's stuff.
The trouble with taking
care of a baby in the cab is,
you either overheat the
bottle, or it don't get hot enough.
(cooing)
Well, Elmer doesn't
seem any the worse for it.
Well... Who put this diaper on?
I did.
Well, Floyd, a diaper goes
around the baby's hips,
not around his shoulders.
Well, we'd better
get back to the train.
Floyd, give Kate
them instructions
that come with Elmer.
Oh, yeah. Listen careful, Kate.
This is Elmer's formula.
He gets it every three hours,
and he gets vitamins once a day.
Oh, one important thing
Mrs. Duncan told us:
don't drop him.
I'll try to remember.
(Elmer cries)
Hmm. This baby needs its mother.
(crying continues)
Hold on there, Kate.
Ain't no babies
allowed in the jury room.
Oh, Vince, look at this
poor, helpless infant.
How could it possibly
influence a jury?
And besides which, I don't think
he even knows Eustace Pockle.
Sorry.
(crying continues)
Kate, you're gonna
keep that baby quiet.
Kate, you got to do something.
Well, I'm trying, but I can't
find his volume control.
Well, you've had
three of your own.
I'm a little out of
practice, but I will try and...
Oh...
Look what Floyd used
to fasten his diaper.
A cotter pin off the Cannonball.
Come on, Elmer.
You're under new management.
(Elmer crying)
Doggone it, Joe, tell
him to take it easy.
I will, I will.
Stop your... Stop
your bellyaching.
You'll get your dinner.
You babies are all alike,
always fussing over
something minor like food.
Ought to be ashamed of yourself.
(crying continues)
I'll take him, Uncle Joe.
(grunts)
Ooh.
There.
What good is he?
All he does is lay around,
waiting for
somebody to feed him.
Hasn't done an honest
day's work in his life.
All he does is find fault.
Yes.
And he even looks like you.
Kate.
I know... dinner.
(cooing)
That's a good boy.
Now, you see that Elmer
doesn't roll off the bed.
Hi. Mom. I just
cleaned up... Shh.
I just got him quieted down.
Maybe we'll have a
little peace around here.
(clucking)
What's that?
Just some chickens
cackling in the lobby.
Chickens in the lobby?
Betty Jo, you've
been working too hard.
(clucking continues)
Betty Jo, there are
chickens in the lobby.
- Quiet, quiet.
- Shh...
Quiet. Quiet down, girls, boys.
You heard the
bailiff! Quiet down!
Quiet! There's a jury
deliberating in there!
If you don't keep
quiet, you'll have to go
Well, they're gonna
have to go anyway.
This is the Shady Rest,
not the Shady Roost.
Betty Jo, see if you
can clear 'em out of here.
How did they get here anyway?
On the Cannonball.
They're Trink Mosely's
chickens and geese.
I reckon they just
got lonely for Trink,
him being on jury duty so long.
When we stopped
at Shaffer's Crossing,
the chickens got aboard.
We didn't know it until
we got almost here.
Well, you can just herd
'em back on the train
and take 'em back
to Mosely's farm.
There ain't nobody there.
Trink's boy's gone
back to college.
Don't worry, Kate.
We'll bring the
feed on our next run.
Yeah. Come on, Floyd, we got...
- Boys, bo...
- We got to get back to the Cannonball.
Boys, boys...
Boys, wait a minute.
Oh.
(clucking continues)
I'm sorry, madam,
but the hotel is full up.
(crowing)
(geese quacking, Elmer crying)
All right, big mouth,
see what you did?
You woke up Elmer.
What did Charley and Floyd need?
Hey, this is a great idea.
There's enough drumsticks
here for the entire jury.
(Elmer crying)
Shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo.
Shoo, shoo, shoo!
(crying continues)
Oh!
Look how contented Elmer is.
You'd be contented, too,
if you didn't have
to eat this hash.
It isn't fair.
The jury's in the dining room
eating chicken and dumplings,
and we're in the hot
kitchen eating hash.
Did you get 'em all fed?
Mm-hmm.
I took care of Otis Clute's
pigs, Fillmore Clagg's ducks,
I watered Cissy
Waterford's geese,
and your Uncle Joe is feeding
Morton Colgrove's goats.
And I guess that takes
care of the jury's animals.
How's little Elmer?
(cooing)
Kate, it's a shame
you can't get in there
and hear all the nice things
they're saying about your food.
No jury ever ate like that
over in the Pixley Diner.
(bull bellowing)
Oh, no.
Hooky Dinsmore's Guernsey.
Cows, pigs, chickens,
goats, geese!
All we need now is a horse.
(horse neighs)
Come in, come in!
We're having hash tonight.
Uh-uh.
I saw Judge Gregory,
and he gave me this.
(chuckles)
It might work.
(jury murmuring)
Mmm, have another
dumpling, Betty Jo.
Mmm, thanks, Mom.
More chicken, Billie Jo?
Oh, thanks, Mom.
Gee, this is the first real
meal we've had in three days.
And in our very own dining room.
That jury.
They haggled for three days.
Suddenly, they reach a verdict,
and they clear
out in two minutes.
Yeah, Mom, what was in that
note you gave to the bailiff?
Mm. You can read
it for yourselves.
It's a court order
from Judge Gregory.
He ruled that until the
jury reached a verdict,
they would have to eat all
their meals at the Pixley Diner.
♪ Petticoat Junction. ♪