episode of Benson...
The party doesn't think
Gatling stands a chance
of re-election.
Shouldn't the voters
have a right to decide that?
Oh, it's too late.
Oh, he's a nice man and all,
but he's a lightweight.
Party already
has a candidate,
Senator Bud Resnick.
I don't want to be
an ambassador.
I want to be Governor.
And you damn well
should be.
There's no room
in this party
for this nonsense
Harper is trying to pull.
Does that mean you'll be
supporting the Governor?
Naturally.
The delegation from Somerset
proudly casts its votes
for the nominee
of this party,
the man of the hour,
and the Governor
for the next four years,
Bud Resnick!
No!
(CLEARS THROAT)
♪ "C," your name
is Clayton
♪ I think
you've gone crazy ♪
(GRUNTS) Benson,
I'm so bored.
Have you considered work?
Oh, what's
the point of work?
(SIGHS)
Everything I do
gets to the Governor's desk
and just sits there.
Come on, Clayton,
there's always work to do.
Hey, guys.
See, even
Pete's working.
You bet.
What's a -letter word
for "actor Peck"?
You're doing
a crossword puzzle?
PETER: Yeah.
Just trying to keep busy.
Until the Governor okays
my stuff from last week,
there's nothing else to do.
There. You see?
What do you think,
"actor Peck"?
I tried "stage kiss,"
But it's too long.
Try "Gregory."
(LAUGHS) The gardener?
Guy can't even
speak English.
Uh, Peter,
"one third of The
Three Musketeers"
is not "caramel."
Come on, guys,
let's get back to work, huh?
Talk to the Governor.
He's the lame duck.
Don't be so hard on him.
He just lost the nomination.
Give him some time
to get back on his feet.
Yeah, that poor guy has been
hurt, battered, and bloodied.
Who is hurt,
battered, and bloodied?
Keep circling, Kraus.
You'll find him.
Oh, there you all are.
I've been looking
for everybody.
I have wonderful news.
We're going
to get back to work?
Yes, at the lumber mill.
Great. We can cut
the budget with an ax.
Listen, I'm sorry, fellas.
I know I've been
sort of holding things up,
but I just can't work
in my office.
Use my office.
I need
a change of scenery.
I'll put a bush in there.
The lumber mill is
a perfect place to work.
I've never been
to a lumber mill.
It sounds like fun.
Mmm-hmm.
For Woody Woodpecker.
You don't like the mountains?
What, are you crazy?
Miss Kraus, I want you
to come along, too,
to look after Katie.
Oh, thank you, sir.
Und I could also
do the cooking
if you'd like.
Oh, no.
At the lumber mill,
Mountain Man
dishes out the grub.
"Grub"?
What do you expect from a guy
whose name is Mountain Man,
crepe suzettes?
Oh, wait till you meet
Mountain Man.
He is really a character.
"Grub."
I feel better already.
I wonder what one wears
to a lumber mill.
Something one doesn't mind
spilling grub on.
Good morning, Benson.
Oh, you're up early.
I knew you'd get into
the spirit of country life.
Hell, I'd get into
the spirit of St. Louis,
if it would keep me warm.
I'll have a fire
going here in no time.
Hope you slept well.
Uh, let me ask
you something.
Do the crickets
have a party around
here every night?
Crickets?
You didn't hear
any crickets?
Oh! You're gonna
get used to
all sorts of wild
creatures around here.
Good morning!
Call the Ranger's Station,
it's Bigfoot.
Watch it, Benson.
Oh, don't you love
this cold weather?
I'll have a fire going
in no time.
Good morning, everyone!
(CHUCKLES) Isn't it
a glorious day?
I had no idea the wilderness
could be so exhilarating.
The air, the mountains,
the cheerful chirping
of the crickets.
Benson, throw off
your blanket
and become at one
with the elements.
Governor, is there less
oxygen at this altitude?
Maybe that's why
I can't get this
fire going.
Hey, guys!
Whoo-hoo!
This place is
great, huh?
It's freezing.
It's great.
What a view! I mean,
everywhere you look
nothing but trees.
It's a lumber mill.
What did you expect,
rows of corn?
Hi, everybody.
KRAUS: Katie, you were
outside already?
Yeah, I took a walk
along the lake.
Everything's just the way
I remember it.
Doggone! I can't get
this fire started.
Yeah, everything.
(SIGHS)
Do I smell
something burning?
Not in here.
It smells like coffee.
Oh, I'll bet Mountain Man
came by to make our breakfast.
You're gonna love
Mountain Man.
He's a legend around here.
Sort of a local Paul Bunyan.
Folks say
he can outclimb a polecat,
stare down a moose,
and wrestle a bear.
Must have an interesting
social life.
And he makes
great flapjacks.
Come on, Miss Kraus,
let's help.
Ja.
I've never met a man yet
who knew what to do
with a skillet.
When he meets you,
he'll know.
Well, sir, where should
we set up the office?
How about a holiday inn?
Oh, let's not worry
about the office yet.
Yeah, we got to
eat breakfast first.
This is your first day here.
I want you to get acquainted
with the place.
That's very thoughtful
of you, sir,
but I do have a deadline
on that highway budget.
Oh, well, we can work
on that tonight, Benson.
There's nothing much
else to do around
here after dark.
Yeah. One more day
won't hurt.
Yeah, I'm gonna do
some exploring.
I saw this great mountain
from my window.
Oh, well, that's Devil's Peak.
Only people like Mountain Man
should try that climb.
Of course, Mountain Man
can do anything.
Can he make a fire?
Well, I think
the sun is beginning
to warm things up in here.
Grub's ready.
Is that Mountain Man?
Yeah, yeah.
What do you think?
I think you made a mountain
out of a molehill.
Benson, I see you're
all set up and ready
to go.
Yes, sir.
Did you like the hayride
last night?
I don't think
it will replace
the crosstown bus.
Can we get started?
It's :.
Oh,
I promised Katie
I'd take her out in the boat.
But what about
the work, sir?
Oh, don't worry, Benson,
I won't be gone more than
an hour.
Unless she wants
to row back.
Did you want to see me
about something?
I see you're working.
I don't want to be no bother.
I'll just wait
till you're done.
KRAUS: Yoo-hoo!
Mountain Man?
Shh! Don't move.
Do you hear something?
No wonder you're known
as a legend in these parts.
Oh, Mountain Man.
Oh, hi, blondie.
I need to check something
in this recipe.
Mountain Man
is teaching me ways
to add variety
to our menu.
Yeah, by rabbit,
deer, moose, possum.
That's not a menu.
That's a Disney movie.
So, Mountain Man,
when do I turn over
the squirrel?
When his bottom's crisp.
Thank you.
Kraus,
I'll just have eggs.
Don't much like
squirrel, huh?
I haven't tried it.
And, please, don't tell me
it tastes like chicken.
Don't know.
I'm a vegetarian.
Well, you are what you eat.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, how do you feel
about blondie?
Kraus?
About the same way
as I feel about
a burst appendix.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Don't say I didn't
check with you before
I stole your woman.
How long have you been up here
on the mountain?
Long enough to know
about human nature.
There's something electric
between you two.
Yeah, more like static cling.
You mind
if I get back to work?
No, makes me
no never mind.
But he's real upset.
Who?
Who I've been
talking about, Gene.
Yeah, his being dumped
by the party
reminds me of the time
when he was .
He ever
tell you that story?
Probably.
Well, sir, he spent every day
out there on the lake,
practicing for the big
logrolling competition.
Ah. He was happier
than a kitten following
a leaky cow.
Can't get much happier
than that.
Do you interrupt Gene
when he tells his stories?
Oh, sorry, sorry.
Anyway, when the
big day finally came,
the judges raised
the age limit to .
Well, Gene was so mad,
he started his own
logrolling contest
and offered $
as prize money.
(CHUCKLES) And the
Governor won, right?
No. Fell off that dang log
and lost the bucks.
Is there a point
to this story?
No.
Gene's stories have points.
Mine are pure entertainment.
I'm so glad we had
this time together.
You're right. We did.
Well, squirrel burns easy,
you know.
I'd best get back
to the kitchen.
Uh, kitchen...
Here.
Guess he knows a shortcut.
Benson, this may be
my favorite spot
in all the world.
You better enjoy it quick
because the boat is moving.
Don't worry, Benson.
You'll get your sea legs
in no time.
It's not my legs
I'm worried about.
How old is this boat anyway?
Oh, I've had it
since I was a boy.
You're not enjoying this,
are you?
Well, I'm sort of torn, sir.
Half of me wants to be back
at the lodge in a warm bed.
And the other half?
Back at my apartment
in a warm bed.
Don't be upset, Benson.
After all,
I kept my promise.
Just you and me,
no interruptions.
Lovely, sir.
And where do I plug in
the adding machine?
You're upset.
Sir, I got up at :
in order to get some
work done,
not go fishing.
I didn't bring you out here
to go fishing, Benson.
Well, I don't do
water ballet.
The truth is, I never caught
a fish in this lake.
Then why'd you
bring me out here?
Can I tell you a story?
How far is it to shore?
How good a swimmer are you?
What's the story?
This is a story about
a fella that grew up
just on the other
side of that ridge
right over there.
And his life was
going along pretty much
the way he expected.
And, uh, some people
came to see him one day
and told him that they
needed him to be Governor.
And then a few years later,
they came back to see him,
and they said they didn't
need him anymore.
And that's
the whole story.
Sir, I never thought I'd
hear myself say this, but...
You left an awful lot
out of that story.
Oh, I don't
think so, Benson.
I'm just trying to describe
how I'm feeling.
It's not bitterness,
not self-pity.
It's frustration,
helplessness.
I don't know how
to describe it.
Maybe you're angry.
No, not angry.
I've been there, sir.
It's anger.
No, it's not.
Sir, you never lie
to other people.
Don't lie to yourself.
Benson,
you don't understand.
You're gonna tell me
that I don't understand
and I don't know
what you're feeling?
You let me tell you
a little story.
One day when I was out
on the road,
I went by a diner
to get a hot meal.
The place was empty,
but the guy still took
an awful long time
to take my order.
Well, he finally did.
But when he brought the food,
it wasn't even cooked.
I mean, it was raw.
When I complained,
he started shaking violently,
but he did manage a smile.
He said, "That's the way
we cook it here."
He shoved a check at me
and told me to pay up.
I refused.
He grabbed a meat cleaver
and said, "Give me the money!"
I didn't.
And he raised
the meat cleaver
as though he was
gonna strike me.
Well, all I could think
to do was stare at him.
He finally backed off,
yelling and screaming,
and he went back
toward the kitchen
cursing and calling me
names that...
I thought I'd forgotten.
I walked out the front door,
got in my car, and drove off.
Benson, you won.
No, sir,
I didn't win.
Can't win with
people like that.
But you can hold on
to your dignity.
The party tried
to humiliate you
the way that guy
tried to humiliate me,
so don't tell me
you're not angry.
I know I was.
All right, damn it,
I'm angry.
Then don't cave in.
What am I gonna do?
I mean, I'm out.
The party dumped me!
That's their problem.
You can't change them.
Your problem is how
you're gonna handle it.
Oh, I'm handling it.
How?
Fishing.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
That's not what you did
when they threw you out of
the logrolling competition.
Did I tell you that story?
No, sir.
Mountain Man did.
He said you went into
business for yourself.
That's right.
I started my own contest.
Then why not do
the same thing now?
Oh, no, I haven't been
on a log in years.
I'm talking about
the election, sir.
If you really want
to be Governor again,
run as an independent.
Benson, without party support,
I'd stand as much chance
of winning
as I would of catching
a fish in this lake.
(WATER SPLASHES)
(CHUCKLES)
Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you
the next Governor
of our great state,
Gene Gatling.
Sir, when we
win this election,
it will prove that people
really do make a difference.
Oh, that's right, Clayton,
but it's sure
not gonna be easy.
But we can do it, sir.
I'm sure of it.
The element of surprise
is on our side.
That's true.
Neither party
expects a challenge
from an independent.
Why not?
Because they never win!
(LAUGHS)
It's hopeless, sir.
We haven't got a chance.
Clayton, would you find
an opinion and land on it?
I am just trying to face
the reality of the situation.
Well, the reality is that
the Governor is in the race,
and we're gonna
help him win it.
And we can do it, sir.
I'm sure of it.
Do we have enough time
to organize a campaign?
The question is,
do we have the money?
Sir, when we lost
the party's support,
we lost all our
campaign funds.
Don't worry, Benson,
I've got a list
of all the supporters
who helped us in the past.
We got to get on
the phone right away.
How can we raise
all that money on the phone?
Easy.
We're gonna reach out
and touch someone.
Sir, I made sandwiches
so that you could work
through lunch.
Thank you, Miss Kraus.
What kind of sandwiches
are these?
Just regular ones.
Nothing special.
You can't do nothing special
with snake meat.
Oh, it's fun
when you're easy.
(ALL LAUGHING)
Hey, maybe we should
save some for Pete.
He'll be hungry
when he gets back.
He's not back yet?
The dang fool
probably got lost.
Lost?
I told him not to
try it by himself.
Try what?
Scaling Devil's Peak.
So, that's why
he borrowed my mess kit.
You mean you got a kit
to make you look like that?
Benson, if Pete doesn't
get back before it's dark,
he could be stranded
up there all night.
Maybe somebody
should go after him.
Okay, I'll pack up
my gear.
Oh.
Governor,
with all due respect,
Mountain Man can hardly find
the mountain, let alone Pete.
Mountain Man,
it has been a long time
since you made
that climb.
No, the last time
was just about four years ago
in '.
Sir, I'll go with
Mountain Man.
Sorry, blondie,
those woods are
plum full of nasty critters.
Then one more won't hurt.
Mountain Man's right.
I'll go with him.
Now, sir, you can't
go wandering around
in the woods.
You're the Governor.
Okay, you go.
Uh...
Well, I, uh, I would,
but I have some, uh,
phone calls to make.
Benson can go.
What?
That's a great idea.
Get going, Benson.
Governor.
Don't worry
about us, Benson.
We'll be fine.
Wait a minute.
Don't panic, son.
I know that area
like the back of my hand.
Let's go, Mountain Man.
I sure hope we find him
before nightfall.
I hope we find him
before you fall.
Now that we're back home,
go to your room
and stay there.
What's the big deal?
It's not like I was lost.
I just didn't know
how to get back.
I was fine.
When you found me, I was
building a shelter, wasn't I?
You were making
a pile of leaves.
It was a shelter.
That's a nest!
Oh, hi, fellas.
Hi, Governor.
We found Pete.
Oh, hi, Pete.
So, where's
Mountain Man?
Oh, he went straight
back to his cabin.
He wanted to get out
of his wet clothes.
Yeah, he fell
into a creek.
According to him, there was
a footbridge at that spot.
Well, as long as
everybody is okay.
Is there something
bothering you, sir?
No, I'm just tired.
Clayton and I have been
working all afternoon,
raising funds
for the campaign.
Oh, yeah. Benson told me
about that. How did it go?
Well, we fell a little short
of the $. million.
How much short?
$. million.
You only raised $,?
We gave it our best shot.
The fat cats are afraid
to back you, huh?
We don't need them.
We can go to the people
for contributions.
Pete, without that
million dollars,
the people won't even know
we're running.
And without the people,
we don't stand a chance.
It's all over.
Look, Clayton,
all I want to do is
get the work done
and make a smooth transition
for the new administration.
If we've got to go,
let us at least go in style.
I am in total agreement.
I'm simply trying
to impress upon you
that in five months,
we're all gonna be
out of work.
And I, for one,
intend to move up the ladder.
Painting houses
or washing windows?
Good morning,
Mountain Man.
Yep.
Beautiful day,
isn't it?
Cold.
BENSON: Starting a fire?
Nope.
CLAYTON: Well, at least
I'm glad I got to see
this place.
The Governor has
a real piece of
paradise here.
It's just possible
returning to the mill
will be the best thing
that ever happened to him.
Could be.
At least his future
is secure.
I imagine the mill
provides a tidy income.
Yeah, and all the sticks
you can whittle.
Gee, I'm really gonna
miss this place.
Well, I'm not.
Kraus is such
a sentimental fool.
No, I mean,
I've made a decision.
When the Governor comes back
to the lumber mill,
I'm coming with him.
Katie needs an understanding
woman to talk to.
And you're gonna give her
some phone numbers.
I think you're making
a good decision, Gretchen.
You'll be very happy here
once you get used to
the raccoons.
Ja, I've already started
to love the place
almost as much
as the Governor does.
Where is the Governor
anyway?
Probably upstairs,
packing.
Hey, guys. It's
almost time to go.
Where's your luggage?
It's right over...
It was right over there.
BENSON: Mountain Man,
did you see our luggage?
Luggage? No.
But your laundry
will be back Wednesday.
Hi, everybody,
we're back.
Where have you been?
We took a walk
into town.
Daddy has
some great news.
We're back in business, g*ng.
I'm running for Governor.
(ALL CHEERING)
Governor, you don't
have any money
for the campaign.
We do now.
I just borrowed it.
You borrowed $ million?
Mmm-hmm.
How?
I mortgaged the mill.
BENSON: Next on Benson...
Gatling commercial,
take .
Action!
Good evening.
Thank you for letting...
(SCREAMING)
You've got to have
the minimum
if you want
to play the game.
This guy's got bad knees
all the way up to his ears.
Well, we did our best.
We've got that
to be proud of.
You know, I never
thought I would lose.