06x16 - Making Change

[bunniefuu]

Oh, I find working
Deep into the night

Extremely invigorating
And exhilarating.

How about you,
Miss kraus?

Oh, shut up
Und light somewhere.

How much longer
Do you think

Writing this proposal's
Gonna take?

Well, I'd guess --

Who cares?
I could work all night.

Pipe down, zippy.

About four more hours,
Governor.

Oh, great, another four hours,
And there's no coffee.

What is
All the racket?

Ah, mrs. Cassidy,
I'm so glad you're still up.

How about a nice fresh
Pot of coffee?

No, thanks.

I'm already nursing
A scotch in my room.

You got an extra glass?

Mrs. Cassidy, I think
The governor meant

He wanted you
To fix the coffee.

Oh, of course.
How silly of me.

Well, the answer
Is still "No."

Kitchen is closed
For the evening.

Mrs. Cassidy,
Make an exception.

Fix the coffee
For the governor.

Always said,
"Never make an exception.

It soon becomes the rule."

And then he'd burp
And scratch his stomach.

Boy, what a hunk.

Yeah, well...
Good night, everyone.

We actually allow that woman
To prepare our food.

Well, I guess I'd better make
That coffee myself.

Ah, bup-bup-bup.
Sir, allow me.

In addition
To my many other talents,

I also make
The perfect cup of coffee.

And I'll bet it's obnoxious
To the last drop.

Ah, mrs. Cassidy
Is some character.

She certainly is.

You know what they say --
The world's full of characters.

So is this room.

I'll bet
She's really gonna change

The way things
Operate around here.

Yeah, she certainly is.

It's amazing, isn't it,

How much difference one person
Can make in your life?

Did I ever tell you
The story --

I think I'll help clayton
With the coffee.

No, no, no.
Sit down.

Relax, benson.
It's been a long day.

You deserve a break.

I see
I'm not gonna get it.

Now let's see.
Where was I?

Oh, yeah -- the character
Who most changed my life.

Her name
Was olivia barnett.

She was the prettiest girl
In town.

Everybody was crazy
About her -- me, too.

Oh, I don't mean everybody
Was crazy about me.

I mean --
We know. We know.

Why don't you just go on
With the story?

She was nuts about
The drummer zooty james.

But I thought maybe
If I was more like him,

Then she'd notice me.

[ glenn miller's
"In the mood" plays ]

Keep on truckin'.

Gene gatling, is that you
Under all that goose grease?

Reet, tweet.

[ laughs ]

Gene gatling, you could always
Make me laugh.

Well...I don't really want
To make you laugh.

You don't laugh
At zooty james.

Is that who
You're supposed to be?

Hold on, hat,
I'm hot tonight.

Why don't you just be
Gene gatling?

He's a good-looking fellow,
You know.

Oh.

Is that why you never go out
With him when he ask you to?

He never asked.

Are you sure?

Positive.

Well, you're wrong, 'cause I
Remember one time I asked you.

It was summer, and we were
Sitting on that glider

On your aunt nora's
Front porch.

And I asked you
If you'd like to go with me

While I help slopped
Dad's hogs. Remember?

And you said, "No."

Aunt nora's front porch.

Gene, I was years old.

Well, but you still
Said, "No."

Why didn't you
Ask me again?

It takes time for...
A heart to heal.

Well,
If it's healed now,

Maybe you should
Ask me again.

What would you say?

Ask.

Olivia barnett, will --

Will you cut a rug
With me saturday night?

Is that
Zooty james asking?

No, it's gene gatling.

What do you say?

I say, "Yes."

You -- you did it.

You said, "Yes."

I'll always say "Yes"
To gene gatling.

Did anybody
Ever tell you

That your eyes shine
Just like a paint job

On a brand-new packard?

[ laughing ] oh, gene.

Olivia.

Olivia was certainly
A wonderful woman,

And by going out with me
That saturday night,

She certainly
Changed my life.

By teaching you to accept what
You are and just be yourself?

No, no, by marrying me
And becoming katie's mother.

That saturday?

I'll bet even zooty james
Didn't work that fast.

That's a beautiful story,
Governor.

I had a very influential person
In my life, too.

Uh, clayton,
How's the coffee coming?

It was autumn,

Und I was in the park,
Feeling kind of blue.

There was an old man
On the park bench watching me.

I thought he was looking
At my legs.

Why?
Did he look sick?

Just listen.

As it turned out,
He was looking at my shoes.

Pardon me, but I couldn't help
But notice your footwear.

What are you,
Some kind of foot freak?

No, just curious.

If I'm correct,
Your shoes are bavarian.

How could you tell
They are bavarian?

Oh, well, I was once known
As "The shoe prince."

Shoes were my life.

But that's enough of me.

I couldn't help but notice
That you seem downhearted.

Oh, ja.

I came to america
To find my fortune.

I can't even find
An apartment.

What a shame.

I'm down to my last $,

I'm living at the "Y,"

Und everyone is making fun
Of mein accent.

You bet I'm blue.

Perhaps you need
A friend.

Just try and find one
In this dizzy city.

Come, sit down.

Well, okay, but...

Don't try
Any funny stuff.

Danke schoen.

My name is anthony.

How do you do?
My name is gretchen.

Gretchen, I sense that you're
About to give up your quest

And return
To your homeland.

It's too late for that.

Why?

You burn a few bridges
Before you left?

I b*rned whole villages.

[ laughs ]

I don't know.

If things
Don't start looking up --

Ah, well, maybe the american
Dream is not for everybody.

Fiddlesticks!
Of course it's for everybody.

Ja, everybody
Named rockefeller.

Nonsense.

All it takes is hard work,
Determination, courage,

And the ability to never accept
"No" for an answer.

Oh, braunschweiger.

I could never
Be a billionaire.

Well, you certainly could never
Succeed with that attitude.

Meaning what?

Gretchen, there's
An old saying --

Nothing succeeds
Like success.

Now, find something
You're good at,

Do it, succeed --

All the rest will follow.

Well, you know,
Everybody always did say

I was
A very good housekeeper.

That's where
You should start, then.

Ja, ja, I could get a job
Cleaning somebody's apartment.

Und then before long,
I would be cleaning houses.

Und then I would be
Cleaning mansions.

Und finally,
I would own a mansion!

God bless america!

That's the ticket.

Thank you, anthony.

You're quite welcome,
Gretchen.

Is there anything
I could do for you?

Me?

No, no, there's --

Well, I could use cents
For a coffee.

Oh, well --
Hey, wait a second.

Coffee is only a dime.

Oh.

In that case,
Will you join me?

Oh, of course.

So, I guess I could say
That anthony changed my life

Because he was the one
Who convinced me

To stay in this country.

In that case, I guess I could
Say he changed my life, too.

That's a very inspiring story,
Miss kraus.

Hmm, it's a touching piece
Of melodrama.

But I should point out

That you have not, as yet,
Realized your dream.

Oh, buzz off,
Bean brain.

Now wait a minute.
I think kraus did very well.

Why, thank you, benson.

She got a man
To take her out,

And it only cost her
cents.

This is either the weakest
Coffee I've ever seen,

Or we've just spent a half-hour
Waiting for hot water.

Well, if you had bothered
To ask me,

I would have told you
It is hot water.

I'm purifying the urn.

Leave it to a man to botch up
A simple cup of coffee.

All right, all right,

Just because I do things
A little differently

Is no justification
For picking on me.

Oh, we're not picking on you
'cause you're different.

We're picking on you
Because we don't like you.

You sound just like
My childhood nemesis.

Now there was
A despicable little character.

From the first day I entered

Wellington's academy for young
Gentlemen until the day I left,

One chauncey wadsworth
Made my life a living hell.

I like this kid already.

He was a monster.

Any decent mother would have
Abandoned him in the woods.

Hey, you guys,
It's anteater endicott.

My name is not
Anteater endicott.

As you very well know,

My name is
Clayton runnymede endicott iii.

Runny nose?

Did you guys hear that?
His name is clayton runny nose.

What's this, runny nose?

That -- that's my special
Latin homework

For extra credit.

Really?

Yes, it's, uh, an abridged
Translation of "The iliad."

How interesting.

Yes, it is.

Let -- let me have that,
Chauncey.

Come and get it,
Runny nose.

Chauncey.

Anteater!

Chauncey!

Runny nose!

Chauncey!

Oh, calm down.

No!

No, no!

[ toilet flushes ]

Oh.

Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.
Too bad.

Now nobody's gonna get
Their extra credit, anteater.

[ nasally voice ]
My name isn't anteater.

Catch ya later,
Runny nose.

[ normal voice ] gone.

[ sniffles ]

[ voice breaking ]
Nobody likes me.

Everybody...Hates...Me.

Ev-- everybody's
Always hated me.

[ sniffles ]

That's the curse
Of being special.

[ sniffles ]

I remember the first time
I realized I was special.

[ clears throat ]

I was four years old
And five and a half feet tall.

It was at the sandhurst
Preschool christmas pageant.

I was playing the angel gabriel.

Hark!

I am the angel gabriel,

And I bring glad tidings.

I was wonderful.

But the night of the play,

Everyone threw spitballs
At my wings.

Maybe I'm kidding myself.

[ sighs ]
Maybe I'm not special.

I know.

I'll make a list

Of all my good points

And my bad points.

Okay.

Intelligence.

I always get a's in latin.

[ chuckles ]

I always get a's
In everything --

English, history,
Social studies, maths,

And junior law.

Style.

My uniform is custom-tailored
English wool.

My shirt is a pinpoint oxford.

My shoes
Are hand-tooled leather.

Good, good, good.

Manners.

I know what all the forks
Are for in a table setting.

That's one mark for each fork.

That's appetizer, salad,
Fish course,

Entrée, cheese, and dessert.

[ chuckles ]

Good, good, good.

[ clears throat ]

Intelligence, style, manners.

[ chuckles ]

Not one bad mark.

[ chuckles ]

Good, good, good.

Again!

I bring glad tidings!

Do you know what that means,

Clayton runnymede endicott iii?

That means
You are not only special,

You are remarkably special.

Trust in yourself.

Where others walk, you soar.

You...Are a good boy.

Are you trying
To tell us

That the person who
Most changed your life is you?

Well, say what you will,
Benson,

But that experience
Made me the man I am today.

Well, that's nothing
To brag about, clayton.

Well, we still got a lot to do,
So let's get back to work.

Wait a minute.

Aren't you going
To listen to my story?

Some other time, benson.

Wait, hold it.
I listened to your stories.

So?

Well, I think it's only fair
You listen to mine.

All right, everybody,
Sit back down.

We got to listen
To benson tell a story.

[ sighs ]

Well, you don't have to act
So happy about it.

Just tell the story,
Bozo.

Okay, okay.

Well...Looking back
Over my life...

I think it was my aunt jo

Who made the greatest
Impression on me.

She had a way of making me
See things as they were.

I especially remember
A day early in .

Well, what do you think?
Can you fix it?

I already did.
It was just the pilot light.

I told you, aunt jo,

All you have to do
Is relight the pilot.

Well, I heard
That they were dangerous.

I heard a person
Can blow sky-high.

So you call me over.

You figure I'd enjoy
Being blown sky-high.

One of these days
That smart mouth of yours

Is gonna get you
In trouble.

It already has.
It said "Yes" when you called.

I was gonna offer you
A glass of lemonade,

But you seem
Sour enough already.

Fine -- next time you want
The water heater fixed,

Call the b*mb squad.

What's bothering you,
Benson?

What makes you think
Something's bothering me?

Don't ask me a question
When I asked you a question.

Okay, something
Is bothering me.

But there's really no point
In talking about it.

Well, we'll just sit here

Until you decide
You want to tell me.

I got to go to work.

Well, go right ahead,

And when you get off from work
And you want to come back

And talk to me,
I'll be right here.

I got other things to do.

Well, whatever.
I'll be right here.

I got passed over for a
Promotion down at the warehouse.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, they made mike henderson
Dock foreman.

I thought you liked him.

I do, but not that much.

I trained him.

I got more seniority
Than he has.

Well, do you know why they
Picked him instead of you?

Why? Are you seriously
Asking me why?

Look at my face.

You didn't get it
Because you're ugly?

I told you there was no point
In discussing it.

You think I don't understand
What you mean?

Look at this face.

Do you know what those wrinkles
And lines mean?

It means you're old.

All right, I called you ugly.
We're even.

But it means that I've seen
This kind of thing

A lot longer
Than you have.

Oh, I know you have,
Aunt jo.

I suppose I shouldn't be
Taking it out on you.

But it's just
So damn frustrating.

Yes, it is.

I think I've got something
To contribute,

And they don't see
That I have ideas at all.

All they see is black.

Now, you can't give up.

I'm not giving up.

Well,
Things are changing.

Too damn slow for me.

Yes,
But they're changing.

So what am I supposed to do?
Forget what went before?

No, no.

You never forget
What went before.

But you've got
To find a way

To make what you have
Work for you.

Yeah, I suppose.

You know, sometimes I look
Into white faces,

And I don't know
What I see.

I don't know
What they're thinking.

And the sad part is it'll
Probably always be that way.

I never will.

Yeah.
I know what you mean.

I've been there.

But...You're gonna make it

'cause you got
The stuff, boy.

Hmm, well, I hope --

I hope you're right.

I know I'm right.

You know, benson,
With your sense of humor,

You can reduce people
And problems

To their
Proper proportion.

I don't know, aunt jo.

Some things
You just can't laugh at.

Well, whoever said a man
Could solve a problem

If he's wallowing
In bitterness.

I ain't wallowing
In bitterness.

Do you know what I'm saying,
Benson?

Yeah, aunt jo,
I know what you're saying.

Thanks.

You're welcome, sugar.

Oh, what are you doing
Saturday night?

Why?

Myrtle burnett's
Daughter elizabeth --
No.

You haven't let me finish.

What does she look like?

Well, I think
She's lovely.

At least myrtle
Used to be.

You take a picture of this
Child -- what was her name?

Elizabeth.
And take it down
To the post office,

Send it to me.

If it goes through the mail,
Then I'll consider it.

You're so bad.

It's for health reasons.
I'm allergic to ugly.

Oh, that mouth!