06x22 - Katie's Cousin

[bunniefuu]

Uh-huh.

[ sighs ]

Uh-huh.

Well, thank you very much,
Clayton.

Keep us posted.

Well?
No progress.

It took clayton minutes
To say "No progress"?

That's minutes
Per word.

Well, if we don't come up
With something fast,

We are in for a strike.

Well, I say tell
Those prison guards

To stop
Their bellyaching.

They're lucky
They have jobs.

Oh, kraus, they have a right
To negotiate a contract.

Und the governor
Has a right

To toss them on their heinies
In the unemployment line.

We are seeking a reasonable
Solution to this problem.

I am being reasonable, benson.
My mind is open.

Yeah,
And your brain fell out.

Well, I'm going to the kitchen
For a cup of coffee.

Anybody want anything?

Yeah, I want to go home.

Look at the time.

Oh, I should go upstairs and say
Good night to katie and laura.

Ah, well,
They're asleep anyway.

Oh, governor.

Katie hasn't seen her cousin
In four years.

If those girls
Aren't still up talking,

May I drop dead
On this spot.

I should live so long.

[ telephone rings ]

I'll get back to you later.

Hello?
Oh, hi, clayton.

Wait a minute now.
Slow down.

Just give it to me
In plain english.

What is it?

It seems that the negotiations
Are over for the night.

Well, we'll start up again
Tomorrow morning.

If my dad catches us
Coming in this late,

He's gonna ground us.

No,
First he's gonna k*ll us.

Then he's gonna ground us.

Katie, I've been a kid
A long time.

I know how
This stuff works.

You're safe as long
As you're with me

Because I'm a guest,

And guests
Don't get in trouble.

It's an unwritten law.
Come on.

Katie, laura.

Do you know
What time it is?

Sorry we're late, dad.

I told you to be home
By :.

It was my fault,
Uncle gene.

I insisted we take
Our time getting back.

Do you have any idea
How many young people

Are injured each year
Rushing home to make curfew?

That's a new one.

Well, we'll skip it
This time.

Go on upstairs
And go to bed.

Good night, dad.
Good night, uncle gene.

Good night.
Good night, girls.

Well, good night.

How'd you get clayton
Off the phone so quickly?

I didn't.
He's still talking.

Clayton: I'm not going
To put up with that...

Uh-huh.

Hey, laura,
Too bad you didn't come

To watch softball practice.

Mary jane donovan took a line
Drive right in her new nose.

Wait, I've got
Some real news.

I was hanging out down
At the mall this morning,

And I met these two
Gorgeous college guys --

Brant and courtney.

Ooh, even their names
Are cute.

Yep, and they're taking us
To the movies tonight.

But brant's mine.

Why would college guys
Want to go out with us?

Because I told them
We're fun.

And I told them
We're interesting.

And I told them we're .

They won't believe
I'm .

Well,
They believed I'm .

You're kidding.
And they're in college?

Yeah, and brant drives
A convertible.

I don't know, laura.

I mean, what are we gonna
Tell my dad?

Your dad?

Katie, you are
Dangerously close

To joining
The wimp of the month club.

Look, I just don't want
To get in trouble, okay?

What's wrong with having
A little bit of fun?

Well, nothing,
I guess, but --

Believe me.
Tonight is gonna be awesome.

Okay, listen, kraus,

Now, I don't want
Any of this released

Until I have a chance
To talk to the governor.

Hello, mr. Dubois,
How are you?

Oh, hi, laura.
How are you? I'm fine --

Oh, you look wonderful today,
Miss kraus.

Thanks.

We weren't talking
About anything important.

We were just
Hanging out.

Good, good.

So, how's the prison-guard
Strike going?

Oh, everything's
Coming along.

You know,
I knew a prisoner once.

Well, not exactly.
Oh, thanks.

We were pen pals.

It was a wonderful thing

To make a desperate person
A little happier.

Well, I hope you thanked him
For it.

Hi, everybody.

Oh, are you girls having
A good time?

Great.

Benson, do you think we're gonna
b*at that strike deadline?

I think so, sir.

Clayton came up with an idea,
And I agree with him.

I think we're gonna
Lick this thing.

You agreeing
With clayton?

Well, even daffy duck
Has a good idea once in a while.

Well, let's go to my office,
And you can fill me in.

Hey, listen, girls,

How'd you like to join me
For some ice cream later on?

It looks like
I'm gonna be free tonight.

Yeah, sure.
Oh, we'd love to, uncle gene,
But we already have plans.

You do?

Oh, right.

Look, dad, you're probably
Gonna say "No,"

But laura and I were wondering
If maybe we could go out --

To a slumber party.

Whose house
Is it going to be at?

Um, mary jane donovan,

From katie's softball team,
Right?

Yeah, right,
She's on the softball team.

Oh, well,
Have a good time.

Come on, benson.
Let's go to work.

Come on, katie,
Cheer up.

If your father knew
Where we were going,

All he'd do is worry.

By not telling him,
We're doing him a favor.

Well...
It does sound like fun.

Come on,
What are you gonna wear tonight?

My blue dress?

If you wear
That blue dress,

Neither one of those guys
Will look at me.

Hey, that's life.

Uh-huh, uh-huh,
This is perfect,

Exactly what
I had in mind.

There's a cozy little table
Just for the two of us.

Clayton, I just needed
A ride home.

Why are you bringing me
In here?

Now, benson,
You stood by your man.

Thanks to
Your unwavering support,

I successfully averted
The strike,

And now I am going to buy you
A little drinky-winky.

I'd rather you
Just give me the money.

Now, now, you just sit
Yourself right down.

That's a good boy.

Garçon.

This is purportedly
A -star establishment.

Oh, really?

What can I do for you?

[ as dog in commercial ]
Oh, goody, kibbles 'n bits!

The sky's the limit,
Benson.

The treat's on me.

Give me one of them drinks
With an umbrella in it.

No, no, no, no.
Let me order for us.

[ clears throat ]
My good man, we will have

A bottle of your very best
Cabernet sauvignon.

You got it.

[ sighs ]

[ laughter ]

Isn't this delightful?

[ chuckles ]

I'm so glad we could have
This time together,

Aren't you?

Mm-hmm.

[ chuckles ]

You know, benson,
During these last few days,

While I was out there
On the lines,

You were back here
Supporting me,

I came to realize just how much
You and I have in common.

Mmm, mmm.

Don't you agree?

Yeah, I'm black.
You're white.

Outside of that,
I can't think of much.

I know there are times when
You don't approve of my tactics,

But in this business,

You've always got to be
On the offensive.

And let's face it.

I excel in that area.

There's no question about that.
You're always offensive.

Good ahead.
Needle me.

That's what buddies
Are for.

Well, come on, clayton.

Under no stretch
Of the imagination

Could you and I
Ever be considered buddies.

Why can't we be buddies?

Come on, out with it.

Unh-umh.

Come on.

Give me one good reason
You and I can't be buddies.

I don't care much for you.

So?

All right, all right,
You just tell me

What it is about me
That you don't care for.

Oh, come on, I don't want
To get into all that.

Why don't we just have
This drink

And get
The hell out of here?

You would be doing me
A big favor.

Perhaps that's why
I don't want to get into it.

Fine.

Oh, lord.

All right,
You're a snob.

I am not a snob!

Trust me on this, babe.
You're a snob.

Come on, katie,
Don't be mad.

You never said anything about
Going to a bar after the movie.

If I told you,
You never would have come.

And if you hadn't come,

You never would have gotten
To know the guys.

They're in premed.

They're not guys.
They're practically doctors.

Isn't this terrific?

We're supposed to be
At a slumber party.

I've got it covered.

These two guys
Take us home about :,

We pick up the empty suitcase
I stashed in the bushes,

And we sneak inside.

Trust me.
I've done this a million times.

Now come on.
Let's have some fun.

Where on earth
Is that waiter?

What, is he stomping
The grapes himself?

You better hope not.
He was wearing tennis shoes.

Uh...Is there another way
Out of here?

How would I know?
I didn't design the building.

What's wrong?

Nothing's wrong.

Just don't move,

And whatever you do,
Don't look over there.

Over where?

That's another thing
I don't like about you --

You never listen.

What is over there?
Benson --

You wanted us to have
Something in common.

Now you have your wish.

Everybody's staring at us.

Uh, I'm --
I'm terribly sorry.

It was all his fault.

Let's just pay the guilt bill
And get out of here.

Benson, this was
Going to be my treat.

Yeah, well, just treat me
To a quick, quiet exit.

Benson, wait.

Katie!

Katie gatling!

Imagine seeing you here.

It's not
What it looks like.

Oh, do you
Come here often?

Can I just explain?

Please, don't.

What you do is between
You and your father.

Hello, mr. Dubois,
Mr. Endicott.

Katie, the guys
Are asking questions.

Go on back to the table.

Benson,
You don't understand.

You snuck out somewhere where
You weren't supposed to be,

And you got caught, huh?

What's to understand?

Benson, please.

He understands.
Now come on.

What are you waiting for?

What are you
Waiting for --

The waiter to come by
So you can deck him again?

Uh, benson, we can't leave
These girls here.

Clayton,
We're not babysitters.

Yeah, you're right.
I always hated babysitting.

They used
To tie me up, gag me.

You're lucky
They didn't take you out

And dump you
In the desert.

[ knock on door ]

Come on in.

Hi, benson.

You busy?

Not really.

Just reviewing
The legislation

For the summer-jobs programs
For kids.

Got any openings
Overseas?

Have a seat.

[ sighs ]

Look, I want to explain to you
About last night.

Katie, I didn't go
Into it last night

'cause it's none
Of my business.

If you want to explain it
To somebody,

You explain it
To your father.

Well, I don't know
What to tell him.

I'm not really sure
Why I did it.

I must admit.
It's not like you

To have done something
Like that.

Yeah, it's not wimpy enough
To be something I'd do.

Wimpy?
Who said you were wimpy?

Laura.

Ah, laura.

Yep.

Guess I'm a victim
Of peer pressure.

Yeah, I guess you are.

But I know about that.

I remember one time
When I was in fourth grade,

My good friend bobby farley

Stole a pack of cigarettes
From his father

And convinced me and a couple
Of other bubbleheads

That it might be
A good idea

For us to go behind the house
And smoke them.

I guess we must have coughed
Too loud

Because bobby's father
Caught us.

Well, what did he do?

Oh, he didn't do anything.

He just offered us
Our choice of punishment.

I could either
Tell my mother

Or eat the rest
Of the cigarettes.

So, what'd you do?

I had me
A tobacco sandwich.

Why didn't you just
Tell your mother?

Why don't you just
Tell your father?

Well, what if I think
Something's right for me

That my father doesn't?

Then talk to him about it.

But for goodness sake,

Don't lie and sneak around
Behind his back.

Yeah, I guess so.

You promise you won't say
Anything before I do?

You have my word on it.

I cross my heart
And hope to marry kraus.

You see
This great write-up

We got for our handling
Of the strike?

Yeah, I saw it.

Hi, honey.
Hi.

Did you have a good time at
The slumber party last night?

Uh...

Uh, yeah.
Yeah, it was great.

Pardon me?

Um, I got to go now, okay?
I'll see you later.

Boy, they really surprise you,
Don't they?

Yes, they certainly do.

Just when you think

They're about to borrow
The keys to the car,

They go to
A slumber party.

I wish I could have
Seen them last night.

Yeah, I wish
You could have, too.

Pillow fights and staying up
Till dawn telling secrets.

I always used
To love secrets.

When you know something
That the other person doesn't

And deep down you know
That you should tell them

But you don't 'cause
You promised you wouldn't --

That was terrific.

Yeah, terrific.

"Und furthermore,
My research indicates

"A youth-jobs program
Will run around $ million."

Und, uh...

Be paid for
Out of your own pocket.

Fine, fine.

Und starting tomorrow

You'll be sharing an office
With clayton.

That'd be good.

Benson,
Are you listening to me?

No.

Why do I waste my breath?

I'm sorry, kraus.

I just got a lot on my mind.
You know what that's like.

Well, maybe you don't.

So, what were you
Thinking about?

Oh, something that happened
Last night.

Could this involve
A girl again?

Yeah, as a matter of fact.

How'd you know? Two.

Two girls?

Benson, that sounds
Like trouble.

Yeah.
Yeah, they're at that age.

What age?

, .

Ugh.

I'm very upset
With you, benson.

Why?

I know about last night.

The governor
Knows about last night?

How'd you find out?

Clayton told me.

Clayton knows
About last night?

Yeah, he was with me.

I have lived too long.

Why didn't
You tell me, benson?

Well, I felt it
Was a family matter, sir,

And I wanted
To stay out of it.

I thought
You were my friend.

I am your friend, sir, but I'm
Not a member of your family.

Friends remain friends by
Staying out of family matters.

Dad, we have to talk.

I know all about last night,
Katie.

I didn't say a word.

Katherine, sit down.

I have something
I want to say to you.

Young lady --

Uh, governor,
Just a minute.

Benson wants to
Say something, too.

Go ahead, benson.
Say whatever's on your mind.

No, I didn't want
To say anything.

I just wanted to get out
Before you got started.

Katherine, I just want
To ask you one question.

Do you unders--

[ mumbling ] uh, yeah, kraus,
I'll take my calls

In the kitchen.

I just want to know -- do you
Understand the meaning of --

The meaning of --

Do you want me to close this d--
Never mind.

Hi, mr. Dubois.

Have you seen katie?

She's in my office
Being chewed out by her father

For that stunt that
You two pulled last night.

I'll catch you later.

Oh, I see.

When the going gets tough,
Laura gets lost.

No, no, I just think
I'm coming down with something.

[ coughing ]

Really?
You feel a little warm?

Uh-huh, real warm,
Sort of feverish.

Hmm, kind of jumpy
And on edge?

Yeah, that's it.

Mm-hmm, well, I'd say you've got
A severe case of it.

Severe case of what?

Chicken-itis.

Yeah, that's one you won't see
On "St. Elsewhere."

We were just trying
To have fun.

Yeah, you and cyndi lauper.

You don't know what it's like
Being a teenager.

Laura,
I was a teenager once.

When?

Back in the days
When a parent

Could spank
A smart-aleck child

Without getting sued.

Look, I'm sorry.

I understand, laura.

I didn't mean to come down
On you so hard,

But it seems that adolescence
Is a time for seeing

How much
You can get away with.

Why don't
You do it honestly?

There are too many people
In this world

Who spend their lives
Trying to get away with things.

Learn to face the music
When it's your turn.

[ door opens ]

I just got grounded
For two years.

Look at this --
Two years.

Uncle gene...

It was my fault.

I'm the one
Who should be punished.

Very good.

You're next.

Guests aren't supposed
To get in trouble.

Two years, huh?

Yep.

Even with time off
For good behavior,

I'll still miss
My senior prom.

Well,
Look on the bright side.

Your father's the governor.

He can always grant you
A pardon.

Does life get easier
As you get older?

No, more expensive.

My dad said honesty's
Always the best policy.

Think that's right?

Almost always.

My mother
Used to always say,

"If you can't be honest,
Be quiet."

Well, how do I look?