06x24 - Jung at Heart

[bunniefuu]

[ snapping fingers ]

Well, good morning,
Clayton.

Ah, benson,
Benson, benson.

For once in your life,
You are absolutely right.

This is indeed
A glorious morning.

Why, is something bad
Going to happen to me?

Not that I know of.

Why are you so happy?

Well, you just happen
To be looking at

This year's recipient

Of the press club's
"Man of the year" award.

Well, congratulations.

Thank you.

When did you find out?

Well...
[clears throat]

I haven't been
Officially notified,

But a reliable source

Has assured me
I've got it locked up.

Why do you do this
To yourself?

Do what?

You nominate yourself
For that award every year.

And every year,

You get more depressed
When you lose.

Well, this year, I know
I am not going to lose.

My record of public service
To the community is outstanding.

In the last months,
I have visited the sick,

I've counseled the young,

I brought entertainment
To the old-folks home --

A one-man play

Entitled "Clayton endicott:
A man and his music"

Does not qualify
As entertainment.

I don't care what you say!

I am going to be
The man of the year!

I have to be
The man of the year.

I have to be!
I have to be!

All right. All right.
It's just an award.

It is not just an award.

It is the key to my future.
I've thought it all out.

What are you talking about?

What do you think I'll be doing
In five years?

Hopefully, you'll be done
Irritating me.

It's easy for you to joke.

You're very successful.
Your career is going somewhere.

But I am caught
In political quicksand.

But the "Man of the year"
Award

Is going to pull me out.

Clayton, even if you do
Win the award,

It's not going to change
Your life.

No one even remembers
Who won

The dumb "Man of the year" award
Last year.

I won the dumb "Man of
The year" award last year.

Morning, everybody.
I have a telegram.

Aha!
The press club!

Katie, I could kiss you.

You do and your lips
Are history.

This is it --
The mother lode.

I can hardly wait.

[ clears throat ]

"This is to inform you
That you have been chosen

This year's 'man of...'"

Oh, no.

What's the matter?

This is terrible.

What is it?

[ growls ]

Read it.

Congratulations, benson.

You've been chosen
"Man of the year."

Me?!

I could have told you
It was for benson

If you would have given me
A chance.

Nice going, benson.

Me?

You stole my award!

Oh, come on now, clayton.

I didn't even know
I was nominated.

I nominated you.

Why would you do that?

Well, I think
You deserve it.

I've never done anything
To you.

You see?
He doesn't even care.

But that's the way things
Go around here, isn't it?

It's always,
"Benson, benson, benson."

"We're going with your
Proposal again, benson."

"I need your opinion
On something, benson."

"Here, you won another award,
Benson."

Only way to get
Any respect around here

Is to be
Benson, benson, benson!

For god's sake, man,
Get a grip on yourself!

Benson!
Benson! Benson!

Maybe you should give him
The rest of the day off.

Clayton, you have a little
Vacation coming, don't you?

Yes, sir.

I think you need
A little rest.

Take as much time
As you need.

Thank you, sir.

Benson!

What? What?

Before I go, I just
Want to say congra...

[ guttural noises ]

...Tulations, benson.

Benson! Benson!

Now, you have to be
At the hotel by :

For the photo session.

The banquet
Will begin at :.

The "Man of the year" award

Will be presented to you
At :.

Und your new
Double-breasted tuxedo

Is hanging in the closet.

Now, you've got it?

I got it the first six times
You told me, sweetheart.

Hey, it's my job to make sure
That you look good

Because when you look good,
I look good.

And when I look good --

Dinosaurs will once again
Rule the earth.

Do everybody a favor --

Open up your ears
Und give your mouth a rest.

Benson,
We have a problem.

No, we don't.
She's just leaving.

I meant the college
Subsidy bill.

The legislature
Wants us to revise it.

Okay. Okay.
But there goes sundays.

Hey, dudes, you just sit tight.
I'll be right out of here.

When did you get back?

Back?

I didn't know I was gone.

I thought you were going to
Take a couple of weeks off.

With all due respect, sir,

I've been so loaded down
With work,

I can't even
Take a weekend off.

Then where did you get that
Tan -- out of a bottle?

What's that supposed to be,
Some sort of racial remark?

No.

Is he making
Any sense to you?

Not for years.

What do you think
You're doing?

Oh, I just need
To check my notes

On this
Highway-tax proposal.

What are you talking about?
Those are my notes.

I thought
I heard your voice.

Where did you go
On your vacation?

Und why didn't you bring
Your moustache back with you?

[ scoffs ]

Moustache?

You must have your lip
Confused with mine.

Kraus,
I never had a moustache.

Well, I'm off.

You'll get
No argument from me.

And, babes,

I'll see you all
At that awards dinner tonight?

You're going?

Sure.

Looking forward to it.

After all,
The best man won.

Why on earth would he want
To see me get an award?

Maybe he's just trying
To be a good sport.

Maybe he thinks the judges
Will change their minds

At the last minute.

He'd have to be cuckoo
To think that.

Yeah, that's probably it.

Yeah,
I vote for cuckoo.

Maybe they're right.

If there's anybody that
Knows cuckoo, it's those two.

I'm sorry
I was gone so long.

Those photographers
Take forever.

Where's clayton?

Well, he never showed up.

Really? He made such a fuss
About being here.

Herr benson, aren't you
Going to say something

About the way I look
In my new dress?

I would, kraus, but I'm
Afraid everyone would think

I was choking
On a chicken bone.

Speaking of new clothes,
I thought you got a new tuxedo.

I did, but kraus lost it.

I did not!

I told you, I hung it
In the closet in your office.

Then somewhere in the mansion,
There's a very fat moth.

I'm sorry I'm late.

Limo never showed up.
I had to take a cab.

Hope they didn't start
Without me.

That's my new tuxedo.

Say what?

You are wearing
My brand-new, custom-tailored,

Double-breasted,
Incredibly expensive tuxedo!

This tuxedo happened to be
In my closet

In my office
With my name in it.

I'm telling you, you're
Wearing my brand-new tuxedo.

Let me see the label.

Could I have everyone's
Attention, please?

Settle down, you two.

He's about to present
The award.

As you all know,

The press club's
"Man of the year" award

Is presented to the person
Whose work most enhances

The general welfare
Of this state.

And this year's recipient
Is a shining example

Of what this award embodies.

It is with great pleasure

That I present
The "Man of the year" award

To lieutenant governor
Benson dubois.

[ applause ]

What has gotten into him?

Are you accepting
This award

On behalf of lieutenant governor
Benson dubois?

Man, did you lose your brains
With your hair?

I am lieutenant governor
Benson dubois.

[ camera shutters clicking ]

Lunchtime, boss.
Get it while it's hot.

In a minute, mrs. Cassidy.

I've got to finish
This proposal first.

It's none of my business,

But I think you've been
Working too hard lately.

Is the governor back yet
From the sanitarium?

Oh, so they carted
Him off, too, huh?

No one got carted off,
Mrs. Cassidy.

The governor simply
Went to visit clayton.

Oh.

Hi, everybody.
I'm back from happy valley.

How did your visit go?

Okay...

But how is he doing?

He still has a way to go,
But that's to be expected.

He's taken up a hobby.

Well, that's nice.

What kind of a hobby?

Painting.

Oh.

In fact, he wanted me
To have this one.

He said it's a picture
He painted of himself.

This is getting scary.

Yeah, it sure is.

Now you know what we
Have to look at every day.

Go suck a strudel.

The doctor thinks
He's making progress?

This is a picture of me.

Well, yeah,
But did you know

That he had
This kind of talent?

Uhh!

The doctor feels that clayton
Is on the road to recovery.

With a slight detour
Through the twilight zone.

That's where you come in.

The doctor feels
That a joint therapy session

With you and clayton

Might be just the thing
To snap him out of it.

Well, see if the doctor
Can feel this --

I am not about
To go into no room

With clayton
And a head shrinker.

Wait just a minute.

Ask yourself this --

Would you really want
Clayton walking around

The rest of his life

Telling everybody
He's benson dubois?

With all the problems
He's got,

Why would he want
To be black, too?

[ door opens ]

Dr. Feifer?

Yes, yes,
I'm dr. Feifer.

I'm benson dubois.

Please, come in.

Please call me burnell.

Burnell.

Governor gatling told me

You think I can help clayton
In some way.

Please, sit down.

The situation is this...

Clayton wants desperately
To be successful.

He hasn't been able to make
That a reality himself,

So he became what he feels
Symbolizes success --

You.

If clayton
Still thinks he's me,

Where's all this progress
He's been making --

Art class?

Oh, no.

Clayton's come a long way.

He's overcome a great many
Psychological hurdles.

For instance,
He's no longer jealous

Of his brother russell.

Well, russell's my brother.

Really?

Plans to spend
Thanksgiving with russell.

Well,
Now I know he's loopy

Because russell's
Never even invited me

For thanksgiving dinner.

Is this something
You'd like to talk about?

Could we get back to
The other benson's problems?

Of course.
Of course.

I am convinced

That clayton is at
A turning point in his therapy

And that he will acknowledge
His true identity

If he's forced to confront
The real benson dubois

Face-to-face.

Face-to-face, huh?

Are you willing
To give it a try?

Well, it's the least I can do
For russell.

Please send in
Mr. Endicott.

Should I do
Anything special?

No, no.
Just act normal.

Hey, doc.

Hey, my man!

What it is.

You know who that is?

Ben.

Yes...

Ben.
Go on.

It's ben vereen.

Poor child.

Bro, I loved you
In "Roots."

Mr. Dubois, can I see you
Over here

For a moment, please?

I'm sorry.
I meant mr. Vereen.

I'm afraid
We've had a slight setback.

Slight?

Doc, wake up,
Smell the coffee.

This guy is silly putty
From the neck up.

The confrontational
Technique was right.

I just chose
The wrong approach.

He doesn't need
To confront you.

He needs
To confront himself.

Okay, well,
Good luck with him.

Keep us posted.

Please, hold on.
I need your help.

I want you and clayton

To participate
In a little psychodrama.

Well, no need to say

Who's going to be
Playing the psycho.

No, no, no.

Psychodrama
Is the acting out

Of a typical
Problem situation.

Okay.
Okay, I'll help.

Just sit tight,
Mr. Dubois.

I'll be right back.

Okay.

Not you -- him.

Oh.

Hey, ben.

I also thought
You were hot

In "An officer
And a gentleman."

That wasn't me.
That was lou gossett.

What am I saying?

Benson?

Clayton endicott's here
To see you.

Well, hug my knees!

Send him in!

Come on in, clayton.

Benson, benson, benson.

Benson,
Clayton wants to join us

In one of our little
Role-playing exercises.

[ scoffs ]

Okay, let's re-create
A typical stressful situation.

Benson, you're here
At your desk.

And clayton
Comes into benson's office.

Well, that's a stressful
Situation, all right.

Can we begin, please?
Sure. Sure.

Now, benson, since you seem
To be totally unencumbered

By anything
Remotely resembling work,

I wonder if I could have
A few moments of your time?

You wouldn't know work

If it bit you on the spot
Below your wallet.

That's good.

Did you, uh,
Want something, clayton,

Or are you just here
To annoy me?

I'm never this mean to him
Right off the bat.

Please, go on.

Well, as I understand it,

You've had some difficulty
With my proposal.

Oh, no, no, no.

No difficulty.

I hated it.

Hated it?
Pourquoi?

I don't want to do this
Anymore.

Bup, bup, bup, bup, bup.

I'm getting started here.

What are you feeling
Right now?

I -- I don't like clayton.

Clayton upsets me.
I don't want clayton here.

I want to forget
That clayton endicott iii

Ever existed.

Well...
Any more bright ideas?

Perhaps we should try
An encounter in the nude.

Oh, for goodness sakes,

Hasn't the man been humiliated
Enough already?

[ telephone rings ]

Hello.

Mr. Lombardi again?

Okay, I'll be right there.

You'll have to excuse me,
Gentlemen.

There's a guy down the hall

Who thinks
He's general macarthur.

He just att*cked
Three filipino orderlies.

I thought I asked you
To leave.

Could I ask you one question
Before I go?

What is it, clayton?

Why do you dislike me so?

Clayton,
Everybody dislikes you.

You're a loser.

But people like you,
Though.

Don't they, benson?

Love me.

I'm a winner
% of the time.

Well,
In my humble opinion,

The tide
Is beginning to turn.

The legislature
Just sh*t down

Your college subsidy bill.

Say what?

And you know that woman
Down at the advertising agency

You were so crazy about?

Yeah.

She dumped you.

Benson dubois got dumped?

That's right.

On the other hand,
Clayton endicott iii

Just invested heavily
In a company...

Yeah?

...That won a lucrative
Government contract.

Yeah?

Clayton endicott iii
Made a bundle.

Really?

How much did I make?

Clayton?

What?

Are you back?

How much did I make?

Clayton, you are back.

Back?
What do you mean...

Back?

Where am I?

You're in a sanitarium,
Clayton.

Sanitarium -- why?
Have I been sick?

You could say that.

For two months,
You misplaced your mind.

You thought you were me.

Oh, yes, I remember.

You're mr. "Man of the year,"
And I lost again.

No, no, no.

Clayton, wait a minute.
Now, I just told you about that.

Things don't always
Go right for me.

I'm not perfect, and you're
Not always a loser.

Come on, here.
Take your glasses.

I don't suppose you would
Want this mous-- forget it.

I want to know
Exactly how much I made,

To the penny.

Well, I didn't exactly tell you
The truth about that.

Oh, no.

Come on,
Don't slip away from me.

You mean everything
You told me was a lie?

Well, just the part
About you making a lot of money.

Everything I told you
About myself was true.

Yeah, but that woman you liked,
She really did dump you?

I'm afraid so.

Good.

As long as benson dubois

Knows what it's like to be
A loser,

I can go on.

Benson, benson, benson.

Thanks to you,
I'm back to my old self.

You coming?

No, no, no.

As long as I'm here,

I might as well
Have my own head examined.