07x08 - Flight of the Dodo: Part 2

[bunniefuu]

Last week on "Benson"...

When did clayton learn
How to fly a helicopter?

Last summer.

He's been dying
To take me up for a ride.

That endicott --
Classy guy.

Imagine flying us
miles to play golf.

Mayday, mayday.

Everybody all right?

I whacked my head
Pretty good.

Bad news.

The radio
Doesn't work.

The radio doesn't work.

So, how you doing, tommy?

That's a stupid question.
I'm barfing my guts out.

Oh, no!

Oh, yes.

We're about
Three fingers off course.

Oh, my gosh, that's...

miles,
Give or take a finger.

We have no food!
We have no water!

We're dead!

We're doomed!
We're done for!

We might as well
Dig a hole in the ground,

Lie down in it,
And throw dirt over --

Shut up!

Sir, it has become
More and more apparent

That we are not
Going to be rescued,

And I've decided
To go for help.

[ harmonica plays "I've been
Working on the railroad" ]

I thought you said
You were sleeping.

I can't now.

[ harmonica continues ]

Where on earth did you
Find a harmonica anyway?

Oh, I always carry a harmonica
When I fly.

You want to know why?

No.

Just keep playing.

[ harmonica plays ]

[ animal howls ]

Any information?

Oh, no, no.

Search and rescue can't even
Guess where to look.

It's going to be a while,
Liebchen.

Hope they're going to be
All right.

It's supposed to be hot out
Today.

Well, they are just going
To have to save themselves.

If only I had some way
Of telling them.

Save yourselves.

[ gasps ]

What is it, benson?

I could have sworn

That I just heard
Kraus' voice.

Perhaps you did.

The universe is one continuum
Of cosmic energy.

Man.

Are you feeling
All right?

I think I'm better than
I've ever been, benson.

I sat here this morning.

I watched the sun
Rise up out of the earth.

Well, that must have
Been nice.

I watched a new day
Being born.

Yeah?

Came to realize
It doesn't matter

If we never leave
This place.

Well, it does to me.

Forget your fears, my son.

We can't die.

We exist forever
In the wind.

Doesn't that make you
Feel wonderful?

No.

I prefer to exist
For a limited time

In a gracious condominium.

Sit with me tonight,
Benson.

You'll feel differently.

No, I won't.
I'll just feel tired.

Where's tommy?

He is practicing
His sand sh*ts.

He shouldn't be doing that.

Oooooom.

Try not to shave your head
Before I get back.

Ooooom.

Morning, sport.

Good morning.
Should you be doing this?

Yeah.

It's what makes the difference
Between us pros

And you duffers.

It's control
Of the short game.

No, I meant,
How's your head?
Fine.

Nothing that a couple
Of gin and tonics wouldn't cure.

Where'd endicott go?

He went looking for help.

What an idiot.

Tommy, why don't you just
Sit down and take it easy?

Hey,
I'm a big boy now, huh?

I can take control
Of my own life.

Okay, sport?

Okay with me, sport.

[ sighs ]

What are you doing?

Looking for food.

So far, I found a six-pack
Of warm beer.

I'm getting worried
About clayton.

You suppose
He found any help?

I don't know.

It's pretty rugged terrain
Around here.

Wouldn't it be nice
If he stumbled

Across some old prospector
With a burro,

And he came to help us?

Yeah, be even nicer
If that prospector

Had an air-conditioned
Monte carlo.

Settle for either one.

Huh.

[ grunts ]

So, what brought about
This change?

Five minutes ago,

You were happy
Existing as a dust devil.

Yeah, I decided I wanted to
Brush my teeth, you know,

And I started to miss
My toothbrush

And that tube
Of striped toothpaste

And the waxed
Dental floss.

Yeah,
I know what you mean.

You don't see too many hermits
With great teeth.

Did you find any food?

Yeah, here,
You want a beer?

: in the morning?

Well, it's wet.

I'll take it.

Ohh, I hate this beer.

Yeah, it's got no taste.

So filling.

No taste.

So filling.

[ thud ]
Oh, no!

Is he...

No.

No, let's get -- get him
Back up to the helicopter.

Get up, sport.

Come on.
That's it, boy.

[ grunts ]
Come on.

Benson:
So, how's he doing?

Not good, I'm afraid.

Any sign of clayton?

No.

[ sighs ]

Benson, can I talk to you
Over here?

Yeah, yeah.
What is it?

I don't want tommy
To hear this.

Well, he can't hear us.
He's unconscious, isn't he?

Good point.
Let's go back over there.

Just tell me
What you want to tell me.

Well, I think tommy
Is in very bad shape.

I don't think he can wait
To be rescued.

Well...Then we'll just
Have to carry him out.

How?

Build a litter.

Put him on it
And carry him.

Benson, with this bum ankle,
I can't help carry him.

Well, I'll just have to
Put him on the litter

And drag him indian-style.

Right, right.

Or like in that movie
"Cheyenne autumn" --

All those poor people,

They walked for days and days
In the wilderness,

And then everybody d*ed.

Mm-hmm.
Thanks for the encouragement.

Come on.
Let's build a litter.

Yeah,
I'll look after tommy.

K
That's about got it.

Let's see
If we can get him on it now.

Okay.

Here we go.

Ugh!

Boy, this sucker's heavy.

This guy is heavy.

Okay.
Put his feet up there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, okay, governor,

Let's see
If we can lift him up now.

Watch your leg.

Okay, here we go.

[ grunts ]

Yeah.

Benson?

Huh? What?

Huh?

I think I'm getting
Delirious.

I'm hearing voices.

[ in distance ] ohhhhh!

Do you hear that?

Well, of course I heard it.
I'm delirious.

Ohhhh!

Wait right here.
I'm going to go check it out.

[ in distance ] ohhhhhh!

Help!

He-- he--

H-help!

Help!

Ohhhhh!

Ohhhhhhhh!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh!

He-- he-- help!

Help!

Oh!

Whew! Whew!

Come on.

It's okay, it's okay,
It's okay, it's okay.

Hey, wait, hold on.

Help. Help.

I can't see.

You got to help me.

It's okay.
Take it easy.

What happened?

Oh, forget about me.
My friends...

I've been walking
For miles.

Helicopter crashed.
We've got to save them!

Clayton.
Clayton!

What?
Oh!

Clayton.
Hurry.

They're starving to death!
You've got to save them!

Now, now, now, clayton.

Oh, my god! Oh, my god!
I'm being mugged!

I'm in the middle
Of the wilderness,

And I'm being mugged!

Clayton!

What, what?
It's me!

Benson.

Benson?
Yeah.

Oh, oh, thank god,
We're saved.

No, we're not saved.
We're not saved.

Look,
Get your act together.

Oh, oh, oh, okay.

You were a marine,
Remember?

Yes, I'm a marine.
I hated that haircut.

I'll get you back
To the helicopter,
Give you warm a beer.

I don't want a warm beer.

I want a club soda
With a twist of lemon and a blt.

Don't we all?
Come on. Come on.

Come on.

Clayton?

Oh, governor, governor,
Governor.

What happened?

The cactus.

I drank from the cactus,
Just like in the movies.

And?

How was I to know that
I'm allergic to cactus?

I knew I was allergic
To pineapple, but cactus?

Here,
Let me get you a beer.

I think you'll find
It's filling.

Yeah, there's no taste.

[ whimpering ]

Wait, hold it, hold it.

So, what do we do now?

Look, after seeing clayton,

I'm not sure that walking out
Is such a good idea.

What else can we do?

It'll be dark
In a couple of hours.

Why don't we wait
Till morning?

And then?

I don't know.

I really don't know.

[ coyote howls ]

Benson, he's burning up.

If his temperature doesn't
Go down soon, I don't know.

Well...

I guess
We don't have any choice.

We'll have to take our chances.
We'll have to carry him out.

[ laughs ] did I hear you say,
"Carry him out"?

That is a stupid idea.
We don't know where we are.

We could end up
Walking in circles.

That's true, too,
As you proved earlier.

Besides,
How long will it take?

This man needs
Medical attention now.

Then I suggest
We fix the helicopter

And fly out of here.

I agree with clayton.

Are you guys crazy?

We don't know anything
About fixing a helicopter.

I'm a fast learner.

And where do you expect
To learn?

You expect a stray pbs
Broadcaster to show up here?

We have the manual
On how the helicopter works.

It's simply a matter
Of deductive reasoning.

I say no.

Benson,
We can do it!

Governor, this isn't a movie!
This is real life!

We have to do it!

That's right.

We could be stranded
Out here forever.

Years from now,

An old prospector could stumble
Over our bones,

And the last word frozen
On your lips will be "No"!

Now, is that the kind of legacy
You want to leave behind?!

Oh, don't be so melodramatic.
Let's have a look at it.

But wait a minute,
Wait a minute.

If this thing
Starts getting ridiculous,

I suggest we close up shop
And walk out of here.

Agreed?

Agreed. Agreed.

I've been around
These people too long.

I want to go back to baltimore,
Settle down,

Open up a little jazz club,

Spend my dwindling days
Tinkling on the piano.

Well, that didn't come out
Right, but it doesn't matter.

I'm talking to myself.

Governor: clayton, can you tell
What you're doing?

Your eyes are swollen again.

Oh, it's not too bad.
I think we can fix this.

Not too bad? I thought you said
The propeller was broken.

It's called a rotor.

I don't care
What it's called.

If it's broken,
It's called junk!

No, no, no, no,
The rotor itself is fine.

It's just the right-side
Pitch link that's broken.

What does that do, again?

Well, it allows you
To control the aircraft.

So we can get off the ground.
We just can't go anywhere.

Benson, we can fix it.

Now, we bind a few of
The golf clubs together.

Now we shove the handles

Down into the control unit
At the lower end.

We drill a hole
In the face of the club,

And we bolt it to the rotor.

You're not serious?

No, we can do that.

Do you think golf clubs
Are strong enough

To hold
That thing together?

If I've correctly calculated
The tensile strength --

Suppose you haven't.

Don't be
A party pooper, benson.

What about
The broken fuel line

That caused us to crash
In the first place?

No sweat --

We repair that with golf clubs
And athletic tape.

Right, golf clubs
And athletic tape.

I can see
The headlines now.

"Lieutenant governor perishes
In mashie niblick tragedy

Along with three dodoes."

Would you just get the tools
Out of the helicopter?

I'll get the golf clubs.

Oh, sir, sir, not mine.
They're custom-built.

Yeah, that should do it.

Yeah,
One way or the other.

Well, if the clubs can take
The torque, we should be fine.

But, uh,
There is one problem.

What's that?

Benson, I cannot see.

Who is going to fly
The helicopter?

Yeah, that's right.
I almost forgot.

Well, the governor's
Flown a small plane.

Yeah, yeah.
Clayton, I can do that.

Sir, I don't think
You can operate the pedals

With your bad ankle.

If you can't operate the pedals,
You can't fly.

Oh, sh**t, I really wanted
To fly that thing.

Okay, benson,
You can do it.

There is nothing
That you can say

That will convince me
To fly that helicopter.

If you don't fly us out of here,
Tommy will die.

That was a low blow.

Okay, clayton,
Show me what I have to do.

All right.

Benson?
I need some help with tommy.

Okay.

You lifted him before.

Yeah.

Ugh.

Come on, tommy,

We're going to try to get you
In the plane here.

Ah, good boy.

Back him up there.

Watch yourself.
Watch it.

Okay, excuse me.

Ow.

Okay. Watch your leg.

Okay.

All right, benson, I've taught
You everything I know.

It's in your hands.

Good luck, benson.

All right, all right.
How do you start it?

Oh! I forgot to show you
How to start it.

You forgot to show me
How to start it.

[ engine turns over ]

Okay, clayton,
Before we get started,

Is there any other little tidbit
Of information

You failed to tell me?

Well, uh, I didn't really
Cover crash procedures,

But I'm praying
We won't need that.

Keep praying.
Here we go.

You're doing fine, benson.
You're doing fine.

Don't talk to me
While I'm driving.

Are we up?

Yes, yes, we're up.
We're going forward now.

Right into a big rock.

Thanks, governor.

I think I got the hang of this.
Yeah, yeah, I do.

Do a little left turn
Here now.

Up, up, up.

Whoa! Whoa! Ohhh!

Whoo-whoo.

Good going, benson.
We're going to make it.

, governor,
I bet it'll be a long time

Before you get
Into another helicopter.

It'll be a long time before
He gets into a pair of shoes.

[ sighs ]
We all got back alive.

That's the thing
That matters.

Too bad I wasn't out there.

I'm good
At living off the land.

If it was up to me,
You'd be living off the earth.

What was it like out there
In that hot, scorching desert,

Staring death in the face?

Go to your room,
Turn up the heat,

And look in the mirror.

Benson.

Give me a break.
Teasing kraus keeps me young.