07x13 - Parade Rest

[bunniefuu]

[ birds chirping ]

How long is it gonna take
To retile that bathroom, randy?

Uh, you're paying me
By the hour, right?

Right.

Well, you figure up
How many hours it'll take

To buy a -foot yacht.

That's about how long
It's gonna take me.

Just my luck.

I had to get
A stand-up tile man.

Here. Sign this.

What am I signing here?

Just sign it.

Wait a minute.
I didn't ask you to write this.

Well, who is
A crooked mechanic

Going to pay
More attention to --

Gretchen kraus or lieutenant
Governor benson dubois?

The guy fixed your car
Last week.

It's not his fault you
Drove it up on the sidewalk.

It's not my fault,
Either!

I was trying to avoid
A squirrel.

I'd be happy to fire off
A nasty note to the squirrel,

If you think it'll help.

Gretchen...

Did anyone ever tell you

That you should be
In a beauty contest?

Oh!

[ giggles ]

You silly randy, you!

Oh. Benson agrees.

No, I don't, either.

Oh, come on.
She could be miss capital city.

Miss capital punishment.

Hey, benson, uh, I'm gonna
Take off for the day.

I'll finish up tomorrow.

Is it okay if I leave
This stuff here?

Well, yeah, yeah.
No problem.

Let me ask you something.
Which way do you go home?
South.

Mind dropping
Kraus off?

Sure! Where?

In argentina.

Ehh.

Kraus, can I see you in here
For a moment?!

Miss kraus:
I'm on the phone!

Is it important?

Is your job important?!

I was talking
With rowena gorne.

Again?! What do you two find so
Interesting to talk about?!

Where is randy?!

Well, I know one thing.

He's not
With dr. Gallagher's wife.

She ran off to winnipeg
With a portuguese psychiatrist.

Kraus, I don't care!

Now, about
This randy mcgee and --

Und I don't blame her.

She caught dr. Gallagher

With a belly dancer
Und a swedish masseuse.

Kraus, I don't --
A belly dancer?

Ja, ja.

Rowena gorne was there,
Doing a pedicure.

She saw everything.

Everything?

Everything.

Did she see randy mcgee?

No.

Well,
It's been two days.

Call maintenance and have them
Take this stuff out of here

Until he comes back.

I did that.
And?

They won't do it.

What do you mean,
"They won't do it"?

Did you tell them the lieutenant
Governor requested it?

They know that.

They don't care.

They don't care?!

What'd they say?

They said that if
They were not good enough

To put the tile in
In the first place,

Then you can take
That bucket --

I know the rest.

But I just don't see

Why randy would skip out
On us like this.

I don't know.
I keep calling him at home.

There's never
Any answer.

Did you try calling him
At his office?

He doesn't have
An office.

I hired him

Through the west side
Veterans' support group.

Here's their card if
You want to try them yourself.

Oh. Good.
This is right on my way home.

I'll stop by
And see him.

We got to get
This bathroom finished.

Well, see,
I don't understand

Why you started all this
Retiling in the first place.

Because I'm sick and tired
Of explaining lavender.

Men!

Hi. What can
I do for you?

Yes.
I'm looking for --

Say, aren't you
The lieutenant governor?

Why, yes, I am.

Whoop! Whoop! Whoop!

Politician alert!
Politician alert!

Is that your idea
Of a red-carpet treatment?

I didn't realize
It was election time again.

Excuse me?

This happens every year.

Some hotshot politician comes in
Here to have his picture taken

With some poor,
Unfortunate disabled vet.

Oh, well,
That's not why I'm here.

I'm looking
For randy mcgee.

Randy mcgee.
Now, is he that tile guy?

Yes.

Man, he hasn't been around here
In a long time.

Are you randy's friend?
No, not exactly.

He was doing
Some tile work for me,

And he just
Sort of disappeared.

We appreciate you
Hiring a vet.

To tell you the truth,
I didn't even know he was a vet.

You try going through the metal
Detector with him sometime.

Hey, you try going through
The metal detector

With me sometime.

What are you
Talking about?

Randy's carrying around
Some souvenirs from nam --

Grenade fragments.

Hmm. Well,
He never mentioned it.

Well, I never tell anybody
I'm in a wheelchair, either.

Some things are private.

You mean you got to stay
In that chair?

I thought it was because
You were lazy.

Listen. When I need
A can opened, I'll call you.

Funny. Give me five.

Oh, and lose four
In the process? No way.

Got a couple
Of jokers here.

I hope you enjoy
Bionic humor.

Sure.
These guys can laugh.

They get all the good
Parking places.

Well, here's randy's file,
If you want to copy the address.

Okay. Thank you.

So, what do you guys do
Around here?

Well, we do a lot of things --
Counseling, job placement,

Help the guys deal
With the v.A. Red tape.

Mm-hmm. You having trouble
With the v.A.?

Around here, "V.A."
Stands for "Very aggravating."

Well, I guess
I've been lucky.

They've been
Pretty good to me.

They paid
For some night-school courses,

Helped me get a mortgage
On my condo.

Condo --
They do that very well.

But their system for getting
Disability payments

Really boggles the mind.

You know, the first time
I went in that place,

This pretty little nurse
Takes me in the examining room,

Measures my stump to determine
The extent of my disability.

It's a cute story
And nicely told.

Thank you.

Sounds like
A different v.A. To me.

Give me your arm.

Now, let's say you get
Half your arm blown off.

No. Let's not say that.

No, no.
See, you don't understand.

You lose half your arm, you're
Talking maybe $ a month.

You lose the whole thing,
You could get $,.

You lose both your arms,
You'd be set for life.

Hmm.

Well, all I really wanted
Was to get my bathroom retiled.

Well, you've got
Randy's address.

Yeah. I'll stop by
And see him.

And when you do, tell him
To come by and see us, okay?

Yeah. We never did get him
To open up too much.

He just sat there
Drinking kool-aid

And eating
Cheese doodles.

Sorry we gave you
Such a hard time.

Eh!

But if you ever need
Your picture taken

With a disabled vet...

I work cheap.

Good. I pay cheap.

[ knock on door ]

[ sighs ]

Hey, randy.

Come on in.

Thank you.

[ sighs ]

So, what's happening?

Nothing.
Nothing at all.

Nice place you got here.

You must have a charge account
At bamboo city.

Yeah.
What do you want?

Well, I got about little
Tiles down in my bathroom

Just crying out
For grout.

Maybe you should get
Somebody else to do it.

Hey, what are you
Talking about?

You can't quit now.

You ain't got enough money
To buy that yacht.

I'd probably
Just get seasick.

What's wrong?

Nothing...

According to this.

Got that little gem from
The v.A. About three days ago.

Cutting off
Your benefits?

It's a screw-up.

Well, you just go down there
And get it straightened out.

It's not worth
The hassle.

What do you mean?
It's your money.

Yeah?

Yeah. In a sense,
You earned it.

Sure.

Come on, man.
Don't get mad.

It's a big bureaucracy.
They got a lot of people --

Man, what are you?
The chaplain?

Well, no. I'm --

Benson, get out of here.

Excuse me?

I'm tired of looking
At your face.

Well, you keep talking like
That, and I'm gonna leave.

Get the hell
Out of here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll hold.

Benson, you understand
What I'm saying.

The problem
Of veterans' benefits

May be just out
Of your jurisdiction.

Well, randy's a human being,
And I'm a human being.

That makes him
In my jurisdiction.

But this is
A federal issue.

Now, you got a political
Career to think of.

I'm not saying you should
Stay away from it,

But maybe you should
Stay away from it.

No.

Is that firm?
Yes.

Yeah. Well, yeah.
Uh, okay.

Would you tell him that
Benson dubois called again?

Leave a message.
Thank you.

Oh, for crying out loud!
Benson, what are you doing?

That is not the way
To handle these people.

Let me do this.

You've got to be more aggressive
With these people.

You got to remember
They're public servants

And treat them
Like servants.

Hello.

Yes, I'd like
To speak to someone

About discontinued benefits.

Mm-hmm. Yes. Tell them
Ronald reagan is calling.

Clayton, you can't
Impersonate the president!

I didn't say,
"President ronald reagan."

Well, you implied it.

Well, if that's
What they heard

And we get snappier service
Because of it,

No one is going
To be upset.

They think
It's the president.

Well, then,
They're stupid.

Hello.
Yes. Yes, this is he.

Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.

[ chuckling ] no, no, no.
No, not that ronald reagan.

[ chuckles ]

Well, then,
You're stupid.

Wait! Wait! Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

Do you know
Who you're talking to?

Do you realize that
This is clayton endicott iii,

The budget director
Of this -- hello?

Hello?

[ scoffs ]
Nincompoops.

Let's see if I can get
This guy back.

Benson, I empathize
With the veterans,

But the v.A.'s doing
The best job they can.

Maybe we ought to just
Get out of their way

And let them do it.

Sir, you're taking
The same attitude

Everyone else takes --
"Let the v.A. Do it."

These people
Deserve more

Than to be swept
Under some bureaucratic rug.

We have a responsibility
To them.

Well, I'll be damned.

I never thought I'd see the day
I'd be proud of you, clayton.

Well, you should be
Proud of me.

You should be proud of everyone
Who was over there.

Were you over there?

I was a marine.

Hey! I was c.O.
Of a remington t.

Oh. The t*nk corps?

Uh, actually,
Typing pool.

That is not the point!

The point is,
I saw a lot of misery.

[ laughing ] probably
As a result of your typing.

You know, I don't know why
I'm so upset.

Yes, I do.

It's because something more
Can always be done,

And no one does it.

And why? Because you'd rather
Let the v.A. Do it.

Well, I guess
He told us off.

Actually,
He told you off.

He'd never dare talk to me
That way.

[ door closes ]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm still here.

That mr. Miller is here
From the v.A.,

Und I don't like him.

Kraus,
Please try to be nice.

I don't see
Why I should.

That creep put me on hold
Six times yesterday.

Well, would you ask him
To come in?

Okay. I'd be happy to.

Miller!!

Get your tail in here!

You can park it
Over there.

Lieutenant governor.

Mr. Miller.

What is her problem?

Please,
Don't get me started.

Have a seat, sir.

Thank you.

Now, what can you tell me
About my friend's situation?

Yes. -------.

Well, I don't know
His government name.

I just call him "Randy."

Well, his file indicates

That he was discharged
In july of ...

That's right.

...And assigned standard
Benefits as of august .

That's right.

And those benefits ended
Two months ago,

When he d*ed
In a tractor accident.

That's wrong.

It can't be wrong.
Computer says so.

If he's dead,
Someone should inform him,

Because he's still
Paying rent.

The odds of this being a
Computer error are prohibitive.

Randy mcgee is alive.

That is impossible.

Mcgee -- this file
Says "Henderson."

You have the wrong file.

Oh, no, no, no.
This is -------.

Then you have
The wrong man.

Boy, it sure looks like it,
Doesn't it?

Well, it's a computer glitch,
Most likely.

I'll take care of it.

Thank you for bringing this
To our attention.

That's it?

Well, mr. Dubois,
It's just one mistake.

Well, perhaps it's because
We only looked into one case.

What are you getting at?

There must be something
Seriously wrong

With your system.

Not my system --
Our system.

Look, you don't think
This bothers me?

Let me tell you something.

This whole stinking mess
Bothers me.

Now, believe me,
We do the best we can.

And we work real hard
Because we care.

Now, if you think
You can do better,

I've got a desk and a phone
And a lot of people on hold,

Waiting
For a sympathetic ear.

Would two days
A month help?

[ scoffs ]
Two days a months would...

Tw-- uh.

You mean, uh,
You'd help?

How else am I gonna know
What the problem is?

Like you said,
It's our system.

Yeah. [ chuckles ]

Well, uh, I-I'll get those
Benefits restored for henderson

Right away.

Mcgee!
Mcgee. Right, right.
Mcgee.

[ g*nf*re,
Helicopter blade whirring ]

[ knock on door ]

[ music playing ]

Mind if I come in?

Why not?

[ television turns off ]

I tried to call ahead,

But the operator said
Your phone was off the hook.

I guess you got tired
Of not answering it, huh?

[ chuckles nervously ]

Uh, well, look, I got
Some great news for you.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, I checked
With the v.A.

There was
A computer foul-up.

You'll be getting
Your benefits back.

[ sarcastically ] great.
You want a beer?

I'm buying
The tall cans now

So I don't have to go out
To the store as often.

Did you hear
What I said?

I said, "Great."

You want a beer or not?

No, I don't.
I want to know what's going on.

What do you mean?

Well, I mean...

I want to know when you're
Gonna stop your self-pity.

When are you gonna
Let go of the past

And go on with your life?

I thought we went
Through this already.

Fine.

I'm not gonna
Waste my time

Trying to help somebody
Who doesn't want to be helped.

Don't you think I've tried
To let go of the past?

No, I don't.

Look at this place, huh?

You've made a monument
Out of your own misery.

All right.

You want to know
What's going on?

[ sniffles ]

I'm gonna tell you
What's going on.

I was ready to do my duty.

We all were.

We were doing
The right thing.

And the one point

That the army kept making
Over and over again --

Soldiers do for each other,
Like family.

You are one!
You're an entity!

Period.

Yeah? Well...They told me
The same thing.

I know the feeling.

I thought that was the deal
We had with the country!

We take care of each other.

Randy, I don't have
Any answers.

One day,
We're coming off the line.

This woman appears
Out of nowhere,

Hands me a baby
Wrapped in a blanket,

And takes off
Just that fast.

And the kid is crying.

Something falls
From beneath the blanket.

You know, brian's yelling,
"Grenade! Grenade!"

[ voice breaking ]
They booby-trapped a baby.

They booby-trapped
A baby, man!

That's the first time

I ever told that story
To anyone before.

We're still the bad guys,
You know?

The attitude is,
"What are you doing here?"

No one comes back alive
From wars you lose.

Randy...

...It would be easy for me
To stand here and tell you

You have nothing
To be...

...Ashamed of
Or to feel guilty about.

But you and I both know

That that won't take away
That feeling.

It's never gonna go away.

You think trying to shut out
The world will help?

I'm just tired
Of remembering.

If you're tired of remembering,
Just forget it!

Not so easy, benson.

Of course
It's not easy, man,

If you're gonna stay cooped up
Here in saigon hilton!

I'm happy here.

This is happy?!

Come on, man.

[ sighs ]

There are people out there
Who can help you.

[ sighs ]
Support group.

Yeah.

Give them a chance.

They're soldiers like you.

And soldiers do
Do for each other...

Like family.

That's not fair,
Benson...

Using my own words
Against me.

Not against you, randy...

For you.

[ sighs heavily ]

[ sniffles ]

I guess I could
Go by there.

I have been craving
Cheese doodles lately.

Well.

Now that I've made
My little sermon...

...I guess I'll take
That beer.

Hey, you know where it is.
Get it yourself.

[ receiver bangs ]

Listen, before
I tie into this thing,

Let me ask you
A question.

Yeah?

Is there a bathroom
In this joint?

Let me see you
Chug this sucker.