01x04 - Armed & Dane-gerous

[bunniefuu]

I said, who do you work for?

Be cool, Nik.

Impulsivity never works for anyone.

Move!

Whoa there. You can't go all Liam Neeson.

You're gonna put Emma and you in danger.

Come on. Hey, buddy.

Best thing you can do

is just let me leave.

- You'll never see me again.

- Hey, what are you doing?

I'm getting dressed.

Your hand's shaking 'cause you're nervous.

You're nervous

because you know you're screwed.

I'm the one with the g*n.

You're a pencil pusher.

Do you know how to get rid of a dead body

without getting caught?

Can you explain to your comrades

how I got in here and stole state secrets?

All after you approved the trip

that got Dr. Novac kidnapped.

Oh, Nicky.

At best, you're fired, at worst

you're dead.

Stop!

Emma.

What are you doing here?

Saving you.

What about the guard?

He feels a little run-down.

Get in. Moldo po-po are on the way.

I need your wallet and your g*n.

Shake your money loser, old man.

Here we go.

- Mm-mm.

- Mm.

Mm.

Tina just intercepted

Moldovan police transmissions.

They found the guard,

no wallet, no w*apon.

They're gonna treat the whole incident

as a robbery gone wrong.

Boro has no idea we have his to-do list.

We'll know his next move soon enough.

Bring it in, guys. Come on.

- Let's go.

- Boom.

- Hey, you sure you don't wanna partake?

- I'm good, thanks.

All right, well,

maybe we, uh, grab a drink another time.

I won't have to get punched in the face,

and you won't have to wear hooker shoes.

Yeah, maybe. As friends.

- The Drakkar Noir stays home.

- Okay.

And of course as friends, obviously.

Ew. You think I wanna be

more than friends with you?

You're You're ugly.

Anyway, you did great tonight.

Nik never stood a chance.

So you are competent

at hiding your true self, Phony Stark.

Tina has no idea you're a nerd boy.

You know,

unless she looks at you for too long.

Yeah, but I might've

looked at her too long.

Her eyes are like the tractor beam

from Star Wars,

just pulls me in.

She's there, isn't she?

All right, next move.

Tell her you're getting a late bite

and invite her to go along.

If she goes, that's a good sign,

and if not, no harm, no foul.

Don't you wuss out on me.

Hey.

Mom texted. She wants us

to come over ASAP. Didn't say why.

Okay.

You should not have unilaterally

disconnected the comms.

You put yourself

and the entire team in danger.

Okay, I I guess, but

I couldn't exactly do what I had to do

with an audience that included my dad.

It's kind of gross.

Very much so.

And I shouldn't have rushed up

to the dormitory like that.

Protocol calls for Roo and Aldon

to first secure the perimeter,

and then I move in.

If we continue working together like this

I have to get it through my head that, uh,

you're not anymore the little girl

that I always see in front of me.

You're now a really fantastic operative.

I mean, you had a g*n to your head today,

and you walked out alive.

I'm so proud of you,

and you should be proud of yourself.

Then why do I feel so bad?

Don't give Carter a gift.

Because if you give him a gift

for no reason, it screams of infidelity.

And if you smell from cologne,

then just come up with an excuse,

like there's some crazy guy

in the office that is a hugger.

Always smelling like a fresh shower

is more suspicious,

and so is leaving the room

answering your texts.

And never feel bad about doing your job.

Plus

you didn't cheat on Carter.

All the times I did whatever it took

to get the job done,

but I never was unfaithful to your mother.

- You said you never had an affair.

- I didn't.

An affair is a connection of the heart.

Your mother owned my heart

from the time we met.

When I needed to, I did my job,

and today, you did yours.

The job destroyed you and Mom.

But it's what I'm best at.

I love it like you loved it.

But I saw what it did to you guys,

to all of us.

I can't be with Carter and do this job.

What the hell is this?

This does not look good.

It's not Valentine's Day.

Hi, Mom.

Hi, Tally.

Ha!

- Hi there, Emma.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- So this this is for you.

Carter, this is this is way too nice

an instrument.

That It's expensive.

- What the hell is going on?

- Shh. Wait. Wait.

I've been saving for it

since our first date

when you told me it was your dream

to own a Raffaele Carmalini, so

- You remember that?

- Of course.

I remember everything

about the night that my life changed.

I remember that you said

you never wanted a diamond,

so

Oh sh*t.

It's a violin string.

Yeah.

Uh, Emma Brunner, will you marry me?

Yes.

Yes! Yeah, good.

I

Boy, we we are really far out, aren't we?

You know when you said you wanted

to show me the boat,

I thought you meant the marina, not a

It's not a boat. It's a ship.

Right, okay.

Hey, what does somebody do

if you get stranded out here?

Die.

What were you thinking

when you were proposing to Emma

without my blessing?

Well, um, you know, sir,

um, I guess I just always felt that was

kind of an old and outdated notion,

treating women like chattel

to be kept or given away.

So you're saying I'm old and outdated?

No. No, not not at all what I meant.

I guess I just

I I wanted to be respectful to Emma.

What if you would have asked me

and I would have said no?

I love Emma with all my heart

so, with all due respect, Mr. Brunner,

I'd marry her

with or without your permission.

Good answer.

Now get me a beer.

Yeah, you got it.

What?

You don't like lobster?

Perhaps, you prefer

to have your dessert before dinner.

We have arcimboldo,

a fresh fruit aspic with edible primrose.

I had it made special.

Oh, speaking of flowers,

did you notice the dog roses,

the national flower

of your homeland of Moldova?

Speaking of which,

when can I go home?

Oh.

Make no mistake,

you are home,

for as long as it takes

for you to spin my proverbial straw

into nuclear gold.

So where are we?

Okay.

The cesium waste you obtained will work,

but its nuclear capacity

has been significantly diminished.

So to revive those components,

a small controlled nuclear reaction

is necessary

Tell me what you need.

An MNR.

A miniature nuclear reactor.

Fine.

- I'll get you one.

- No, no. You don't understand.

It's not something

you just find on the street.

I found you on the street.

You worry about the science.

Let me worry about

getting you what you need.

There's a seven-figure painting

in your room.

I know people

who are very good at acquiring things

when the price is right.

Emma's gonna have

the most attention on her,

but everyone has got to have

their role down pat.

Working true names helps.

Aldon C. Reese

will just spread his charisma everywhere.

And HPV.

- That was never confirmed.

- Oh sweet.

Ocean's 8 in the house.

I am finally wearing something cool.

Come on.

Disguises knows I can't wear these.

Sir? Are you sure I should be on this op?

I've never done anything like this before.

I don't wanna mess it up.

She should definitely be there, right?

You're gonna be fine, Tina.

The more of us we have,

the better we can sell Emma's cover.

And let's not forget,

we're dealing with people

that can smell the bullshit a mile away.

They even caught me in lies before.

- Mom?

- Oh no, let your work friends eat first.

But set aside some for Oscar and his brood

for when Romi's feeling a bit better.

Okay.

Why bother? No crunchies.

Come on.

It's so nice to finally meet

some of Emma's coworkers.

I'm her supervisor.

She's a solid B-plus.

Still looking for that second gear

we know is in there somewhere.

- So good to put a face to you, Carter.

- Yeah?

Everyone at work's been wondering

about the kind of man

that could take Emma off the market.

Yeah, that's

That's quite a grip you got there.

You can tell a lot about a man

from his handshake.

Yeah, I can tell you love handshakes.

Emma, the more your fiancé

talks to our people,

the greater the chance we get caught.

Yeah, I'm already on it.

Is that gonna be the extent

of our conversation today?

- You giving me orders?

- Meaning?

Meaning you haven't said more than

a few words to me since the proposal.

Well, what's the point?

I mean, I do the talking,

you pretend like you're listening,

then you're going off

doing something stupid,

like saying yes to a guy

with a fiddle and a string ring.

I mean, what were you thinking?

I'm thinking I'm done

with this conversation.

Sorry, I'm gonna steal away

the groom.

Can you believe it?

Our baby's getting married.

There's a ton of things

I can't believe about this engagement.

Oh, come on. I've had a rough few days.

This engagement is the only thing

that's made me happy.

What's so rough?

I quit my job.

Oh.

And I got into HR to help people

when they get pregnant or injured,

not to convince them to accept

crap severance packages.

Sweetheart, why don't you work for me?

What?

My bad.

- I can't. That's crazy.

- Barry and I, we're always traveling.

We need someone

to keep up with the inventory,

to take care of the phones.

Someone that we can trust.

But you're retiring soon, right?

Well, that would take a year

to unwind the company.

In the meantime,

Barry needs someone to keep the books.

Well, I am kind of over HR,

and I did sales after college.

It won't get weird?

We're never there.

Try part-time, please.

I really need you there.

Okay, why not?

If it's okay with Barry.

A-okay.

There you have it.

Great.

Grazie, grazie!

I'm gonna go tell Donnie.

- Oh yeah.

- Yes.

Are you out of your Vulcan mind?

It was a great idea.

How am I supposed to provide strategic

support with Tally ten feet away from me?

How am I supposed to do my job?

Well, when she's at Merry Fitness,

you work out of HQ.

But the best thing about it is,

every minute she's working for us,

it's one minute away from Don

Luke!

My man!

Donnie, my wife's boyfriend.

Mm-hm.

Like the end of Back to the Future II,

all of this to be continued.

Tally told me the news,

and I just wanna say,

I know what you're doing.

I hired a top employee.

I mean, I'm so excited about this.

I'm sure you are. That's not what I meant.

I know you're trying to win her back,

and it's not gonna work.

Actually, it's already working.

Mm-hm. Mm.

- I'm so glad you said yes.

- Of course I did.

It's gonna be great.

- It's the right decision.

- Yeah, okay.

- What?

- It's "be with me, my darling" in Swahili.

Just go with it.

Okay. Whoa, what are you

What are you doing?

Everybody's right there.

- What is

- Right there, I know.

- It's dangerous.

- Yeah.

- It's kind of exciting.

- Yeah, I guess. Yeah.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

They've been working together for years.

Oh, so you're a gym equipment salesman?

- Mm-hm.

- See if you practice what you preach.

Oh! That's very impressive.

I practice what I preacher curls.

It's hot in here. Are you hot?

- I

- The thermostat must not be working.

- No, it's working

- I have a question about ellipticals.

- Oh, he's the man.

- Oh great.

Will you excuse us?

- Sure, no problem.

- Oh, thank you.

All right.

Why are you wearing

this Garanimals-ass shirt?

I specifically told you

not to look or act like you.

This is Matter-Homme,

a French-Canadian superhero who can bend

the laws of physics to his will.

Number one law of physics:

no one who quotes

laws of physics gets laid.

There. I just airdropped you

recon on Tina.

Online purchases,

Spotify playlists, Netflix history.

It turns out

she has a nostalgia erection for the '70s.

Sucks for you

because men back then were men.

Steve McQueen, Paul Newman,

and you ain't them.

I don't know, we grabbed

late-night tacos the other day,

and she just complimented my muscles.

It's 'cause we're undercover.

You think she's really interested

in your linguini arms?

You've gotta recruit her

like a foreign asset.

Step one, spot.

You spotted a woman

who caused blood flow to your down low.

Great. Two, assess for vulnerabilities.

She talks to you, so she's clearly lame.

That's a vulnerability.

Three, develop.

The best way to develop a relationship

is to learn about everything she's into,

hence the file.

Four, recruit.

Get her to go on a real date with you.

And five, handle.

You wanna handle her bing bongs,

and you want her to handle your nuggets.

For that to happen, cover your shame

and do your homework.

So Carter's parents.

Oh, thank you.

So tell me, how did

you two very special people meet, huh?

Oh, well, I was working

at Morgan and May in New York.

Partner track by 30.

And at our corporate retreat,

there was a yoga session

taught by none other than

Me. It was me.

I would have never guessed.

Ford change my life.

He taught me that

the rat race is for rats.

And we're humans, part of the human race.

And we should help our fellow man.

- Yes.

- That's why we developed this.

Coochie Coo.

Unisex, pain-free bikini wax.

- Take a sample.

- Okay.

Now with CBD.

Luke, don't be shy.

We're family now.

- We have a saying at Coochie Coo.

- It's nice.

Mm.

There's nothing to lose but unwanted hair.

And your dignity.

Watch this guy.

He's a p*stol.

What is it with their names anyway?

Ford? Carter?

Weren't they some of the worst presidents

we've ever had?

Not to mention the Perlmutter men.

I mean, they're lady-K*llers.

They k*ll the ambition

of smart and talented women.

That's so unfair.

I mean, look at his wife.

I mean, she started out

as a Wall Street mogul,

and then she ended up

as a cr*ck-wax woman.

You know, where they wax down below?

I don't want that for you.

I don't want your future

to be controlled by

By anyone but you?

Thank you.

He doesn't seem to understand

that I can make my own decisions

about my own life.

I've been telling her for years

that Carter is the wrong guy.

We had a wonderful conversation

on the airplane.

We communicated,

just like you recommended.

She even said to me

that she preferred the CIA over Carter.

- That

- An hour later, they were engaged.

I mean, this is insanity.

Emma, it's a hard choice.

Work over love.

Do you feel split?

The CIA version of you

and the version

the rest of the world sees?

Did CIA Emma speak the truth about Carter,

but once you were inside

your parents' house,

back into the role of perfect daughter,

you did what everyone expected

you would do.

You said yes.

'Cause you don't want to hurt Carter.

You don't want to disappoint your mother.

No. I'm in complete control of my life.

I love Carter, and I realized I was wrong,

and I am going to make this work.

You can't. Look what happened

to your mother and to me.

I'm not gonna prioritize work

over my marriage the way you did.

A marriage that is doomed to fail.

- No

- Okay, guys, let's hit the pause button.

We're doing these sessions

so you can work together more effectively,

but you can't do that

if we can't communicate.

But I have something that just might help.

That's supposed to be us?

Pretty good likenesses, right?

Those are like

Sesame Street-quality Muppets.

Mm-hm. Courtesy of the US taxpayer.

Since the only thing

you both want to hear right now

is the sound of your own voices,

we're going to try this again.

But you're going to speak

with each other's voices.

Yeah, uh, I don't think

this is gonna be a good idea.

My daddy is a fossil.

He knows nothing about anything.

I mean, because he was born before 1992.

So he should shut up

and let me ruin my life.

You're playing a dangerous game, old man.

That doesn't sound like Luke.

I'm Luke Brunner.

I ruined my own marriage,

but I'm the expert on everyone else's.

I have muscles,

so that means I know everything.

And I'm from Austria,

where life is hard

and everything costs a nickel.

You know what costs more than a nickel?

Gymnastics classes and orthodontists,

and a wedding I know is a big mistake,

but my Daddy has to pay for it anyway.

The only thing I can't lift is my own ego

'cause it's so big.

I've been lying

to my parents my whole entire life,

but I pretend to be an angel.

You see the hostility, Dr. Pepper?

- Oh, I'm hostile?

- Brunners, please!

Oh, looks like Dot needs you.

Yeah, okay.

You see? That's what I'm talking about.

Thanks for trying your best.

Sorry I called you Dr. Pepper.

The Army Corps of Engineers

has analyzed Dr. Novac's research

and determined that

everything that Boro needs

to turn his nuclear waste slurry

into a b*mb

is readily available.

Save for one item, an MNR.

Miniature nuclear reactor.

Fortunately, MNRs

are rare and highly regulated,

used by only a handful of private

industries and research institutions.

Few years back,

a medical glass manufacturer

in Duluth went bankrupt.

They abandoned their processing plant

and left the MNR in the basement.

Local cops found it a few months later,

upon discovering

that kids had snuck in there

and were using it as backstop

for their stickball game.

- Oh!

- Fortunately, the NRC confiscated it

before anyone got hurt.

So the MNR is bait.

We lure Boro into meeting with us

then we grab him

and hold onto him like an Alabama tick.

Okay, great, but how are we gonna

get in contact with him,

let alone meet him?

He's been on high alert since Kazakhstan.

He'll only meet with someone

he knows and trusts,

and someone he thinks

could get their hands on an MNR.

Then, of course,

it has to be someone we trust too.

She's right.

We need the Great Dane.

Yes. Yes!

I love the Dane.

- Good idea.

- No, no way.

- No, no, no.

- Yes.

Who's the Great Dane?

He's the best at what he does,

and what he does is what we need.

Also he's just a chill guy,

very laissez-faire,

totally que será, será.

All about the c'est la vie.

He has cornered the market

on cool foreign phrases.

No, no, no!

You're gonna love him.

I'll have our people

look into his whereabouts,

but you all need to be prepared

to move fast on this.

Hello. Welcome to Merry Fitness,

where being in shape

never takes a holiday.

You work here?

I thought it was just

the Schnitzel King and his sidekick.

I'm new.

Anything I can help you with?

What, you don't recognize

your biggest competitors?

We're the co-owners and titular twins

of Twinning Formula Fitness Supply.

Right, right. I've seen your commercials.

You don't look like twins.

Shawn's still on his fitness journey.

It's okay, buddy.

Of course. I just meant,

well, I've never seen you in the ads.

Shawn's a behind-the-scenes kind of guy.

I'm the face of the outfit,

but he does the books.

Which is how I know there's no way

that Merry Shitness is outselling us,

and that those "awards" back there

are bogus.

We're the exclusive distributor to all

Planet Fitness in the Eastern Seaboard.

We eat, sleep, and breathe

Twinning Formula

and still somehow lose all regional

sales awards to, uh, Merry Fitness.

I don't think so.

Those accoulements should be ours.

- Those what?

- Accoulements.

When you get credit

for doing a good job. Come on.

Are you combining

"accolades" and "accoutrements"?

Look, you're new,

so you might not know what the guys

who own this place are up to.

Show us your books.

We keep it our secret, huh?

How about I show you the door

or I call the police?

Let's go.

You just made very powerful enemies

in the fitness supply industry.

Hey now.

Come on, quit sulking over the Dane.

Is he really that bad?

- Honestly, he is a solid guy.

- Mm-hm.

As solid as

a black-market middleman can be.

He doesn't sell weapons

and always holds up his end of the deal.

In the '90s, he smuggled

100,000 Beanie Babies into Russia

in the hay bales of the Moscow circus.

I heard he strapped waterproof bags

of microchips to migrating sea turtles

to get them from Cancun to Halifax.

Ever seen the Mona Lisa?

- Yes.

- Nope.

You haven't because it's hanging

in a sheikh's bedroom in Dubai,

thanks to the GD.

The son of a bitch sh*t my toe off.

Oh sh*t!

Oh God. I'm eating.

I'm gonna have nightmares.

Wait.

Does your stump Does it have a toenail?

The doctors call it spontaneous regrowth.

My niece calls it monster foot.

I sent a picture to Ripley's,

they chose "not,"

said it looked like a buffalo cauliflower.

Flip-flops are a pipe dream.

There's nothing to hold 'em in place.

They're just flop-flops.

Well, sorry.

Big mission overrules little piggy.

Good news, we've located the Great Dane.

Bad news, he's in a Turkish prison

under an assumed name,

two years into a four-year stint.

The State Department's

doing what they can,

but the Turkish government

has no reason to do us any favors.

Good. Got what he deserved.

Moving on to plan B.

No plan B.

He's our only option,

so we have to break him out.

Polat penitentiary.

Intel tells us there's a visual head count

every morning at dawn.

So once we extract the Great Dane,

we need to meet with Boro

before the next count.

If our pal is identified as missing,

Europol will push his mug sh*t

to every police force

on the continent within minutes.

Fake name or not, the Great Dane

is very distinctive looking.

It won't take Boro long

to figure out that the guy selling him

an MNR is supposed to be incarcerated.

He'll know it's a setup

then we're back to square one.

The other problem is

we can't leave the cell empty.

End of the day, guards collect

all the meal trays to prevent vermin.

If a tray isn't pushed through the slot

in the bottom of the door,

then the guards will enter, and then

They find out that our man is gone.

Once again, the word goes out

and Boro will figure it all out

that it's a setup.

So someone has to stay in the cell

to push out the tray.

Roo, Aldon, we need you at the meet.

Closest you've come to Boro

is sh**ting at him from a helicopter

from 100 feet up in Guyana.

He doesn't know your faces,

so you'll act as associates

of the Great Dane and provide backup.

Luke, Emma, you know Boro best.

You need to be there

in case things go sideways.

You know how he thinks, how he'll react.

Why don't you get Salazar?

He just did a prison job in Cameroon.

On an op.

So is Finelli, Jackson,

McMahon, Chang, Roland

We are stretched thin,

and I need you on a plane ASAP.

I'll do it.

I'll go in.

What?

- Why not?

- Uncle Barry, it's not safe.

You have a heart condition,

and you're ill-equipped to do the job.

Wait, why can't Barry do it?

I mean, he hung from that helicopter too,

saved you and Princess.

His job now is basically

sitting in a room all day.

I mean, that's what this is.

I like it.

Dane's savvy enough

to stay out of prison once we spring him,

but he also knows

that if he's caught escaping,

the punishment's death.

He will only jump the wall

with someone he trusts,

and he's worked with Barry before.

- Director, I don't think that

- It's settled.

Barry goes to prison. Wheels up in 35.

This is a bad idea.

So trying to be a macho '70s guy for Tina?

Well, that was the idea.

- Thanks for sticking up for me.

- Don't thank me.

This goes wrong,

you're cell block prom queen.

Hey, Aldon, I wanna talk to you

about the engagement party.

The prolonged eye contact

and the inappropriate touching.

I didn't go near Emma at the party.

Not talking about Emma. Carter.

I saw you staring him down,

and your handshake

was five seconds too long.

If you would've been a meerkat,

you'd have pissed all over him

to show your dominance.

And don't deny it.

I did exactly the same thing

trying to win my wife back from Donatello.

Ex-wife.

Don't push me.

Luke, I like Emma.

She's smart, she's gutsy.

But that's it. It's just "like."

And if you believe I would get between

two people that are about to get married,

it's good to know

you think so little of me.

Well, the reactor's still secure.

It's all good.

Excuse me.

How is my employee of the month?

I'm good. I'm good.

It's been pretty quiet.

Except, um,

the Twinning Formula guys came by.

The guys from the TV commercial?

Yeah, they were complaining

about your sales awards.

They wanted to see your books.

Oh, they're just jealous.

I mean, wait until they find out

all my new deals with Planet Fitness.

We're selling a bunch

of Pilates machines to them.

Matter of fact,

I'm prepping now for the meeting,

so if you don't mind,

I'll call you back later.

Yeah, of course.

It's funny though.

Twinning Formula said they had

an exclusive contract with Planet Fitness.

Well

it's not a done deal, believe me.

Remember, 90% of the sales

is all positive thinking, all right?

I gotta go now.

Bye.

Okay, thanks. Bye.

Bye.

I'm sorry.

Must be really weird for you

to listen to me lie to your mother.

It's the job.

Yeah.

But it doesn't have to be your job.

I mean, if you really want

to get married to Carter,

you should think about maybe a desk job,

or doing logistics or something like that.

I'm telling you,

it'd be much better for both of you.

So if you could go back

and do things differently, you would?

Yeah, I don't believe that.

Minute out. Prepare for jump.

Barry, why are you still sitting there?

- How could you let me agree to do this?

- Then why would you volunteer?

Oh, little Miss NSA

turns Barry's junk into a zipper-ripper.

Ooh, attaboy.

Whenever you like somebody,

you start getting all nervous,

and then you do stupid things.

Easy, you don't want

your last words to Barry to be mean.

- Last words?

- Uncle Barry, come here. Just

Look, if you really don't wanna

go do this, I can take your place.

- Yeah?

- Please.

It's okay. You're good.

Go.

No! Get me out of this!

- Good old bait and switch.

- I didn't see that coming.

- I did.

- Relax.

Think of it like a BabyBjörn, huh?

I mean, I carried Emma

around in it all the time

and I only dropped her once.

You seem to have dropped me a lot.

- Good.

- Good.

- Just relax.

- No!

- Go! Showtime!

- No, no, no, no!

Wow.

Well, that was undignified.

All right, comms in.

Tina, uh, drop team's a go.

You got eyes on them.

Copy that. They're descending

at 195 kilometers per hour, on target.

How'd Barry seem?

Raring to go.

I'm just worried he won't fit

in the prison ductwork

because of his giant balls.

Harness off, comm in.

Copy that, Tina?

Puppy's in the pound.

Sorry, I I hope I'm not overstepping.

I've heard you and Barry do that,

and I just wanted to try.

Pumpkin in a pie.

Okay.

Looking at blueprints.

There should be a round vent

with a domed fan grate.

There's a drop of about eight feet,

then the shaft turns horizontal.

Remind me why you can't do this?

Because your skinny, malnourished body

will squeeze through it like cookie dough.

Be safe.

- You good?

- Uh-huh.

You've been out of the duct work

for about 20 yards.

You should be coming up

on another short drop.

That wasn't that short.

Hang in there.

Keep your eyes on the prize.

Everything's gonna be all right.

You know it's not that bad

when you think of it

as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Congrats, you're there.

Hey, GD.

How you been?

It is so good to see you.

You look fantastic.

- Thank you.

- Right off the bat. Fit as a biscuit.

- Thank you.

- Oh God.

- Well, you look great too.

- Oh stop. Don't even do that to me.

- I have put on some.

- Stand right here.

Look at those shoulders.

Yeah, well, I know. I've been working

a little bit on my upper.

I was feeling

so bad about myself in prison

that I just kind of fed that

with food, you know?

They say no sugar and carbs, then what do

they serve you? Sugar and carbs.

Is that a beacon?

And an industrial bungee cord,

and a hook, and very soon a plane.

Okay.

All right. And expect a little yank, okay?

- A little yank. Got it.

- Wait, what

So how are the new digs?

Prison-y.

Found the Dane's contraband under the bed.

Anything we should requisition?

Just a few magazines

and a bottle of White Lotus by Liz DuVray.

- Hm.

- And a box of Reggie! bars.

They haven't made these things since 1980.

I guess the Dane really can get anything.

Gotta go.

Don't screw it up, sweet cheeks.

No issues with the tray?

Tina.

Hey.

I dropped us into a private channel

so we don't have to hear

Luke and Emma go at it.

I heard them screaming at each other

through Dr. Pepper's wall.

Yeah, they got more issues

than Sports Illustrated.

Well, if you need anything, I'm here.

Well

I could use some company.

Then I'm not going anywhere.

Oh my God!

- Hello.

- I thought you were Danish.

I am, yeah.

I went to boarding school in Andover.

I'm fluent in English, Danish,

and 'cause it's in Andover, Massachusetts,

Moron,

'cause everyone

from Massachusetts is like,

"Tom Brady must have a huge hog,"

or however they sound.

What's up, dude?

You're the sweetest Danish in the world.

Come on. You're nuts.

I should dunk you in coffee.

You're nuts. You're nuts.

- Hug this, creep.

- Oh!

- Oh god.

- God, that is vile.

I have not seen anything that bad

in a in a long time,

and I have been in a Turkish prison

for two years.

- What happened to your toe?

- What happened to my toe?

You sh*t it off on the Borneo job.

- Right. Right.

- It was you.

When my g*n misfired.

I don't like using g*ns.

It's why I was handing her the g*n.

Technically you sh*t your own toe off.

And I feel horrible.

Worse than someone

with nine toes and ten toenails?

Roo, holster your four-sh**t.

Hey, Dane, we have an offer for you.

We want you to sell something

to Boro Polonia.

And in exchange, you'll stay free,

and you get to see the son

you've never met before.

What do you say?

Wow.

It's the only time I got sloppy, ever.

I was rushing home

'cause Gertrude was in labor.

I got caught at the border

with fake passports and contraband.

It was just, you know, amateur hour.

But being free to me would mean

meeting my son for the first time.

I am in.

- Okay.

- Yeah, baby.

- That's the Dane.

- You're the man.

Do you hate the beach,

because instead of a hot body,

you've got a not body?

Twinning Formula Fitness Supply

outfits not only the finest hotels,

spas and resorts

Hello. This is Tally Brunner

from Merry Fitness.

Yes, I see your hotels purchased

26 of our machines last year,

and I just, uh,

I wanted to make sure

they were all working okay.

Oh, that is so sweet.

Well, uh, I'll have to reach out

to the branch managers individually,

but our main office

hasn't heard any complaints.

But I surely do appreciate the follow-up.

And if you ever need to call again,

you just ask for Tammy Parsons.

Okay, thank you.

- Hm.

- Bye now.

This is McKinnon. Is home office aware

that Officer Luke Brunner's ex-wife

is employed at his cover?

Yeah, well she is. She just called me.

This could be a problem.

Off-kilter CrossFit. This is Fiona.

- I did a sweep. The place is clean.

- Belts and suspenders.

Please. This is about Diana.

Who's Diana?

Um

A few years ago,

I was stationed in Greece,

and I had a very passionate fling

with a beautiful NIS officer named Diana,

but, uh, we had to break it off.

- Two-boink rule.

- Two-boink rule.

What is the two-boink rule?

Any CIA officer

engaged in more than

two close or continued contacts

with a foreign national

has to report the relationship.

I mean, it's

it's like a lot of paperwork.

And Diana was crushed.

She became obsessed with me.

I don't blame her.

A lot of women become obsessed with me.

But I can tell you, this safe house

has Diana written all over it.

Vase of dianthus flowers.

There's a fridge full

of my favorite Greek beer.

Dianthus flowers

are everywhere in the Mediterranean,

and your favorite beer

happens to be the most popular in Greece.

Uh, narcissism much?

Then why is this safe house

directly across the street

from the same flea-ridden motel

where Diane and I

made sweaty Grecian love for 12 hours?

Twelve hours?

I thought you said

you were only allowed to do it twice.

Can we just focus?

We have a limited amount of time left

to complete this mission.

If we screw up, then Boro stays at large,

and Barry becomes our new prison pen pal.

- So is the place clean or not?

- I already said it was.

Well then, let's get to work.

You make the call to Boro

and make the meeting as early as possible.

Yeah, just gotta dip into my address book.

You have a bad-guy address book?

My clients use a secure phone service

that changes their number every three days

based on an algorithm

that works off the date.

Only me and a few very other

important people know said algorithm.

I like math.

That's great, but no way.

If the secret of the algorithm gets out,

then I'm out of a job,

and then I can't afford diapers.

And you need them,

'cause you're a big stupid baby.

So the code is entered, and now we wait.

Hopefully not too long.

Two-boink rule, huh?

You know, in Denmark they give you four.

- Come on.

- Mm-hm.

Scandinavians.

Hey, could I maybe take this opportunity

to grab a shower

and change into some civilian duds?

I'm just, um, I reek of Turkish prison.

- Hey, just focus, okay?

- Yep.

Oh hey, here we go. Hello?

Great Dane.

Where have you been hiding, you wild man?

I am in Greece. Aloha.

Anyway,

I have a, uh, miniature nuclear reactor

that I've heard you are looking for.

Always with your finger on the pulse.

That's why I love you.

That's why everyone loves me.

Uh, it's unanimous across the board.

I've never met one person

that doesn't love me.

Anyway, I got your MNR.

If you can meet me within the next

ten hours by the Turkish border,

my going rate on this is five million.

That's more than fair.

I'll need to put a lot together

in a short window.

Say, 7:00 a.m.

That sounds That's perfect. Thank you.

I'll be in touch with a location

that works for me.

You always come through, GD.

We'll speak soon.

I know I'm supposed to say

The Conversation,

but give me Play Misty for Me

any day of the week.

Oh my God,

Eastwood is so great in that movie.

You are literally naming all my favorites.

You You hear that scream?

Yeah, uh you hanging in there?

Honest?

I'm terrified of tight spaces,

damp spaces, dark spaces,

locked spaces.

I did this for you.

Uh For me?

You know,

as the newbie on the team,

I wanted to impress you

as your more senior operative.

Barry you didn't need to throw yourself

in prison to impress me.

You're a top CIA handler

with a case record that I'd k*ll for.

Not to mention smart, funny,

sweet.

You're gonna be fine.

Just pretend I'm there with you, okay?

Okay.

Tina?

Thanks.

Up and in.

sh*t.

Schatzel, I don't want to get into

another argument with you,

but that is just one of a million

future denied calls.

One of a million lies

that you have to tell Carter.

Can this wait till after we're done

transporting a nuclear device?

Well, Dr. Pepper said

we should communicate,

and I'm trying to communicate to you

that I believe you're entering a marriage

that is totally based on deception.

It's a big, big mistake.

You're gonna regret it,

and Carter is gonna regret it.

When Carter finds out the truth,

he will be devastated.

You should have heard him

when he talked about you on the Tally-Ho.

I mean, he loves you.

- Why was Carter on the boat?

- It's not a boat. It's a ship.

And we just went out on a casual cruise,

you know, to talk a bit,

get to know each other.

And I just asked him

why he didn't ask me

for permission to marry you.

What?

Why would he have to ask?

You don't own me.

I'm not something you give away.

That's exactly what Carter said.

- Oh my God.

- You know, that makes sense to me.

And I agree with both of you.

And I found that he is a really good man,

but he's just not the right man for you.

Not with the kind of life that you live.

That's not the point.

Come to me if you wanna talk about this.

Not that it's any of your business,

but I don't know if I am gonna marry him,

or not marry him. I

I just don't know,

but can't I get a minute to think about it

without you telling me what to do?

You know,

we really shouldn't be working together.

We are totally fluffed.

I want a complete rundown of all

the criminal activities in this area.

Stolen-car rings,

joyride convictions, chop shops,

anything that you can find, now.

Tina, get in touch with DOD,

make them run an RDS sweep.

Any radiation could come from our reactor.

- Yes sir.

- Our MNR has uranium-237 in it.

Home in on that signature,

and we can probably get pretty close.

Guys, I've been thinking.

This could be Diana's work.

We can't deliver a reactor to Boro

that we don't have,

so we must postpone the meeting.

Well I Boro's gonna be suspicious

of a last-minute change.

I don't know what to tell him.

Just say you were transporting

a bio agent for a client in Cyprus,

but one of your guys got sick,

so you think there could be a leak.

You're monitoring symptoms with a doctor,

but you're waiting on a test

to see if you're contaminated,

or if the symptoms you're experiencing

are just psychosomatic.

Just buy us some time.

A million future lies, huh?

Think I'm gonna be okay.

I was just following up

about your needs this quarter.

And please let me know

if I have the right number.

The one on your invoice

just rang and rang,

so I just called the one

on your hotel's website.

Thank you.

Hello?

Of course.

I'll come right now.

- He pushed the meet. Thirty minutes.

- That's it?

He doesn't care that you could be

starting the next contagion?

He said take two aspirin and get my pale

Dutch ass down there as fast as I could.

Said he pulled a lot of favors

and dealt with a ton of logistics

to set up the transfer of an MNR

over international borders,

and he was actually quite rude about it.

Maybe you should sh**t his toe off.

I don't know about this.

There's too many variables.

By the time we find the reactor,

if we ever can find it,

there's the early morning prison count,

and Barry's gonna be in deep sh*t.

I'm gonna make the call here.

I think we should pull the plug

on the whole thing

and get Barry out of prison.

Luke, no.

There are over 900 prisoners in here,

and inspection is randomized every day.

Chances are they won't get to my cell

by the time you find the reactor,

meet with Boro, and come get me.

I appreciate that, but enough is enough.

You don't stop Boro,

that nuke could k*ll millions.

The needs of many

outweigh the needs of the few.

Finally you're talking like a man.

That was Spock

from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.

Hurry up and get me out of here.

This is more complicated than I imagined.

I'm getting a little queasy.

Yeah. Yeah, you don't look so good.

Here. It's over here.

Just splash some water on your face

or something.

Right there.

We're not leaving Uncle Barry

in prison, right?

Of course not.

As far as we know,

his cell will be the first one inspected.

We got to get Barry out of prison.

No man-child left behind.

But if Uncle Barry's out

and his cell is empty,

word could get back to Boro

before we're done with him.

We break our word with the Dane

and put the Dane back in prison.

I just got a boner.

Roo will be in charge

of swapping Dane for Barry

while we're searching for the reactor.

How will we meet with Boro

if we don't have the Dane?

We pivot. You pose

as one of the Dane's consiglieres.

A Copenhagen consigliere?

90% of what we needed the Dane for

was to set up the meet,

which has been done.

So long as Boro shows and doesn't

catch wind of the Dane's escape,

I think we can pull this off.

- I'll have your back.

- It's the only choice we have.

I can't wait to break the news to him.

Break it off, Dane. We gotta talk.

Dane?

Dane!

I really hate that goofy assh*le.