03x03 - Quarantine: Part 2

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

Hey, hey, hey. What do
you think you're doing?

I cleaned everything.

What for?

Busy hands are happy hands.

Would you like some coffee?

Uh, yeah, sure.

These cups look different.

I scrubbed off all
the mold and mildew.

I thought it was a pattern.

Hey, uh, this coffee ain't bad.

Thank you. Would you like some?

No, thanks.

I'm cutting down.

Is there, uh,
anything yet, Barney?

No. Wojo's calling the hospital.

Fix yourself up with
a place to sleep?

Yeah, but I ain't gonna
make it tonight, Barney.

Barn?

Uh, Dr. Friedman.
Here he is, doctor.

Ah. Doctor, this
is Captain Miller.

Yeah, we were wondering
if there were, uh...

Still waiting for
the results. All right.

How's, uh...? How's Dupree?

No, everybody here is
fine. How about Dupree?

Phew, ? Wow.

Convulsions, huh?

Hallucinating.

Okay, uh, I'd appreciate word
as soon as you get it, huh?

Okay. Thank you.

He's hallucinating?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's
what happens with high fever.

You don't hallucinate
with chickenpox.

Then that means he has smallpox.

Oh, Mother! POLLY: Oh, my God.

All right, everybody just
take it easy! Take it easy!

We don't know what it is yet.

The one thing we
know is we don't need...

We don't need mindless
and baseless panic. Agreed?

[OTHERS MURMUR IN AGREEMENT]

We're all going to die.

Did I miss something?

He's got -degree fever,
and the guy's hallucinating...

BARNEY: Okay, okay,

let's settle down.
It's getting late,

Fish? FISH: Yeah?

Why don't you take the
cot over by the bathroom?

I'd appreciate it.

Nick, you okay over
here? Yeah, just fine.

Oh, Miss Kapshaw, we've
gotta find a place for you.

Oh, any place is
fine. I'm not particular.

[COUGHS]

Why don't you, uh...? Why
don't take the couch in my office?

Oh, well, if my friends
could see me now.

Anybody got an extra toothbrush?

Wojo, why don't you
finish the floor plan

as to who sleeps where?

Oh, all right, Barn.

Uh, inspector,
it's occurred to me

that it probably would be better

if Miss Kapshaw slept
on the couch in my office.

Oh, okay, Barney.
I'll take the cot.

Just kidding. Know what happens.

It's all yours, Miss Kapshaw.

Thanks. My pleasure.

Nice kid, Barney, you know? Huh?

Too bad went wrong
somewhere down along the line.

Nice heart-to-heart talk
might just straighten her out.

About a.m., huh, Barn?

Here you go,
inspector. Oh, yeah.

Ah, thanks, Nick.

This looks a little
scrungy, you know?

We use it to clean
the typewriters.

You better wash it out
real good before you use it.

Yeah.

Uh, I guess it's better
than nothing. Thanks.

Okay, uh, Marty, you can
keep this cot right here.

And, uh, Mr. Driscoll, uh,

you can use that cot over there.

Why?

Uh, why what?

Why are we being put on
opposite sides of the room?

Uh, well, that's just
the way it worked out.

Well, it's totally unacceptable.

That's the way it
is... Germ warfare...

Whoa, whoa, what's the problem?

There's no problem, Barn!

I just told Marty that he
could sleep over there,

and Mr. Driscoll
could sleep over there.

Wojo, let them be as
comfortable as they can,

wherever they can.
They're our guests.

Thank you.

Okay, Barn, uh...

If it ain't gonna bother
you, it ain't gonna bother me.

Ain't gonna bother me.

Well, it's gonna bother me.

Wojo, it's a
temporary situation.

As soon as there are
more conclusive results

the hospital will call
us. In the meantime,

we have to put up with an
uncomfortable circumstance.

[WHISPERS] Yeah,
but those guys are...

Those of us who have
work to do, will do it.

Is that understood?

Yes, captain.

Those of us with nothing
to do, will do nothing.

Hiya. How are you?

I work downstairs.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

Name is Levitt.
Officer Carl Levitt.

I work downstairs.

Right, I'm Harris.

I know that. I see
you guys every day,

without sayin' hello,
comin' up here to work.

Can I, uh, do
something for you, Levitt?

You got any more sandwiches?

Hey, man, we kept .

You guys had .

Some of the guys
are still hungry.

They sent me up as spokesman.

Sorry.

You mind if I ask around?

Good luck. Thanks.

So, uh, this is where all
the detectives hang out?

I never been up here before
because I ain't made detective.

Too short. Never
mind a guy's record,

his devotion to duty. Too short.

We're cops, not
basketball players.

Oh, excuse me, how you doing?

Uh, you got any...?
You got any food left?

Uh, no.

Oh. Okay.

Oh, excuse me,
Captain Miller? Uh-huh.

Levitt. Officer Carl Levitt.

What can I do for you, Levitt?

The guys are kind of
hungry downstairs, sir.

I'm afraid they're
gonna have to make do

till the morning. Yes, sir.

Oh, I'd, uh,
appreciate the chance

to, uh, have an opportunity
to talk to you sometime, sir.

Man-to-man. Certainly, Levitt.

Relating to career opportunities

and prejudices
contained therein, sir.

At some more
opportune time, all right?

Thank you, sir.

What are you, about ' "?

Yeah, about. Why?

Ah. No reason.

' ", sheesh.

Next, anybody?

Ah. Here you are, Nick.

Oh.

My breath, it smells like ink.

Sorry. You wanna
lick some stamps?

Nah. Forget it.

This cot taken?

Yeah.

Okay.

You gonna finish that?

Who are you?

Forget it.

You wouldn't have anything left
that you're not gonna eat, huh?

Sorry. I only had one sandwich,

and I finished that
some time ago.

Excuse me.

How tall is he?

-foot- and three-quarters.

You see? When you're that
tall, they overlook anything.

Some fix, huh, Fish?

Yeah, it'll be all right.

You know, it's funny
thing, Fish. You and I,

we work together eight
hours a day, all week long,

and we never talk.

Like, a conversation, you know?

That's true.

See, Fish, this
one's really got me.

I mean, uh, you keep
your body in shape,

you take vitamins,
eat the right foods,

and then some germ
comes along and kills you.

Yeah.

I mean, I never used to
think about death, you know?

And then... And then, all
of a sudden it... It hit me.

You can go anytime.
Pfft! Just like that.

Get a b*llet in the back,

get hit by a truck.

Maybe something just
snaps inside your head.

You see why we
don't talk more often?

You know, I remember what
my great-grandfather said

just before he d*ed.

He said, "Although
one may conspire

to delay the moment
of one's death..."

Yeah?

That's as far as he got.

I don't care how I go,
Barney. As long as I go fast.

You ain't gonna
find Frankie Luger

rotting away in some hospital,

hooked up to one
of those machines

that goes to the
bathroom for you.

You know what I'd do in
a case like that, Barney?

[IMITATES g*nsh*t]

Very graphic.

Quick and clean. The
way a good cop should go.

Foster went that way. Right.

Remember? Blew
him up in his car?

Nothing left of him, remember?

And Kleiner. Remember Kleiner?

Gunned down over on th Street?

Huh? Not a bad
way to go, Barney.

Very nice. Oh. Hey.

But I wouldn't wanna go
like old Brownie though, huh?

That vein blew out in his head.

There he is up in that
nursing home in Vermont,

layin' there, stretched
out like a carrot.

Inspector. Inspector,
it's... It's late.

Come on, why don't you
try and get some sleep?

Okay, Barney. Sorry,
Barney. It's just that,

you know, I really loved
those guys, Barney.

And when I think of the...

I'm talkin' wholesome stuff!

Hey, Nick? What you doing?

Uh, nothing. I walk in my sleep.

Very funny.

Pretty good coffee, huh, Nick?

[HUMMING]

♪ Thank heaven ♪

♪ For little girls ♪

♪ For little girls Grow
bigger every day ♪

[HUMMING]

Hiya.

♪ Thank heaven ♪

♪ For little girls ♪

♪ They grow up In the
most delightful way ♪

Am I disturbing you?

No, not at all.

I love music.

Oh, thanks. Thanks. I just, uh,

didn't wanna upset your friend
over there. Might be asleep.

Oh, I'm not asleep.

Good, good.

I didn't want you to doze off
under the wrong impression.

I don't know what you mean.

Oh, yes, you do
know what I mean.

Back there before
when I was talkin' about

the three sweetest cops...

Greatest cops that ever lived.

I saw the look you gave me

when I said how much
I loved those guys.

Well, I meant that
in a man-to-man way.

You understand the
expression "man-to-man"?

Very well.

Well, what I meant was that

we had love and
affection for one another.

We were out there on the
streets together, fightin' together.

And we did it every
day. Day after day.

Ha-ha. We're still doing it.

But you two, you
know, you're, uh...

Y-you have a different,
uh, relationship.

Hasn't anybody ever
pointed that out to you?

Love and affection
between two human beings

is nothing to be
ashamed of, inspector.

Of course not.

But you two, y-you're
carrying it too far,

don't you understand?

It isn't that much further.

Oh.

Oh, somebody was
sh**t' off their mouth

about the fact I never
got married, is that it?

I was married once.

Well, if you're gonna
take that attitude...

Pfft!

No. No, I don't
wanna go to work.

Not up there.

Huh? What's that?

Hot, dirty, messy.

[SPITTING]

Get out of that bathroom, man!

[GROANS]

[SIGHS]

Rotten coffee.

Racin' forms. And lazy.

Human relations.

[BLOWS RASPBERRY]

Lock all them crazy mothers up.

Hey, Barney, don't give
me that old psychology, man.

Compassionate turkey.

Think we should wake him up?

And then k*ll him.

Uh, royalties...

Stocks, bonds, big gold bars.

Oh, God, I wanna be somebody!

Hello.

You all right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, wh-what is it?

Nothing.

How come everybody's up?

Coincidence.

My mouth is all dry.

Probably from using it too much.

Did, uh,

anybody call me, Fish,
while I was asleep?

Regina? I-I don't know.

Oh, uh, go ahead.

No, no, no, no, no. You go.

Uh, I can wait.

Oh, so can I.

Thanks.

Wow, you think
you know somebody.

No respect. All
right, all right.

A situation like this

can bring out
hidden resentments.

Let's not let a few
subconscious mumblings

poison a whole relationship.

Fine.

But sometimes I get pretty sick

of that compassion stuff myself.

No offense.

[PHONE RINGING]

I got it.

th Precinct, Wojciehowicz.

Yeah, just a minute.
Barney, it's, uh, Dr. Friedman.

Yeah.

Doctor, yeah,
Captain Miller here.

What's the verdict?

Yes, doc, you'll get
paid, you'll get paid.

Come on, what
kind of pox was it?

Chicken or little? Uh, small?

Now, you're ab...?

You're absolutely sure?

One hundred percent chicken.

[ALL SIGH]

Thank you, doctor, thank you.

Okay, we can all go home

as soon as we get this
place straightened out.

Wojo, you better give
them the word downstairs.

Right, Barn. Hey Fish,

how does it feel to know
you're just as healthy today

as you were yesterday, huh? Heh.

You're vicious, you know that?

Oh, Captain Miller?
BARNEY: Yeah?

Goodbye. I hope we haven't
caused too much trouble.

No, no, not at all, Marty.

Well, would you say
that I've been some help?

Yeah, you've been
very cooperative.

And decent and
honest and dependable?

Yes, Marty.

Would you tell that
to the probation officer

so we can go to California?

Marty, they probably
won't even listen to me.

They would if you
got emotional about it.

Marty, I'll do whatever I can.

That's...

That's not too
compassionate for you guys?

What does that mean?

Inside joke.

Well, goodbye everybody.

It was very nice
being with all of you.

Uh, thanks for the coffee.

You're very welcome.

Uh, what did you
do to the coffee?

Well, nothing special. It
just takes a unique talent.

I was afraid it was
something like that.

So long, inspector. Marty.

Goodbye, inspector. It
was very nice talking to you.

Likewise. I, uh, trust I
made myself perfectly clear.

Perfectly.

[CHUCKLES]

Excuse me, is there a
Kapshaw, P. up here?

I got a bail ticket.

That's me.

Well, uh, goodbye, boys.

Thanks for the use
of the hall, captain.

You've really been
very considerate.

Good luck.

All we got was sandwiches.

So long, Phil.

Goodbye, Miss Kapshaw.

It's really been
wonderful being with you.

You're terrific.

That's pure speculation.

Never have I spent so much time

with so many for so little.

You know, Winston
Churchill said that.

Never met the man.

Regina?

How are you, baby?

Yeah, I'm sorry I
had to wake you.

I tried to get ahold
of you all last night.

Uh, did Cunningham explain
to you why I couldn't make it?

Well, did he tell you
what kind of disease?

Look, it was chickenpox.

I swear, it was, uh, chickenpox.

It was... Who's that laughing?

Is that Cunningham? Is
that you, Cunningham?

Hello? Hello?

Go on home, get
yourself some sleep.

Yeah. Been kind of
a rough night. Yeah.

But, uh, got through
it okay, didn't we?

And listen, Barney,
I want you to know,

I don't think any
the less of you,

and I hope you don't
think any less of me.

Of course not. Why should I?

No reason, no reason
at all, Barney. Heh-heh!

Okay. See you around, huh?

So long, fellows.

Oh, uh, uh, listen,
I want you to know

it was very nice being
here but, uh, actually,

I would much rather have
been with some cute little...

Know what I mean,
huh? Sure you do.

[CHUCKLES]

Like havin' a... A little girl.

Hey, uh, Barn, Barn.

You're absolutely certain now?
We...? We don't have smallpox?

That's what the hospital said.

What a relief, you know? Yeah.

I mean, I was right
on top of that guy.

If anybody was gonna
get it, it was gonna be me.

Strictly chickenpox.
Chickenpox all the way.

A childhood disease.
We've all had it.

I never did. Heh.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]