05x16 & 05x17 - Wojo's Girl

[bunniefuu]

I'm back again.

Oh, what a pleasant
surprise, miss...

Brower. Remember?

Captain, he's at it again.

He is?

How consistent of him.

Harriet brower.

You remember. You arrested
my husband last year.

We did, huh?

The tall man with
the crazy eyes.

The nut with the gold.

Oh, yeah.

Of course.

Oh, yeah, he even sold
you a gold coin, remember?

Vividly. It's gone down
bucks since I bought it.

What's the problem?

Too many speculators.

What is it that your husband
is doing, mrs. Brower?

He's going to w*r.

To w*r?

There's nothing in the papers.

I'm afraid you're not
making yourself clear,

Mrs. Brower.

You see, he started a
subscription to this magazine.

combat quarterly,

"The magazine of
professional mercenaries"?

For years, he's been
an appliance salesman.

Now all of a sudden, he
wants to be beau geste.

I don't understand, mrs. Brower.

Is your husband an
experienced soldier?

In , he was in
the national guards.

It didn't work out.

This is very interesting,

But I don't know if there's
anything we can do about it.

Last summer, he turned .

It was, like, everything
just went snap.

Uh, so why don't you
give sergeant harris

Some further information.

Possibly, we can help you.

Mrs. Brower, please, over here.

Thank you.

Hello.

Oh, hello.

Uh, yeah, hi. Uh, come on in.

Did I come at a bad time?

What are you doing here?

You forgot to give me the key.

Oh, yeah.

The way you sh*t out of bed,

I thought the room was on fire.

I was late.

Okay, well, I thought
it would be easier

If I came to pick it up.

Uh... Pick what up?

The key.

Uh...

I could move a few of my
things over this morning.

I'll get that, barn.
Hold on a second.

It's your phone.

Th precinct. Wojciehowicz.

Yeah?

Hi.

Hello.

I'm sergeant arthur
dietrich. Anybody helping you?

Yes.

That's a shame.

Yeah, I know where it is.

So are you a felon
or just visiting?

Hey.

Oh.

Barn, there's a
disturbance on th.

Okay, uh, you and
I'll take dietrich.

Okay.

Let's go.

Stan?

Look, I'll be back in
just a couple minutes

So just make yourself at
home, have some coffee...

Wojo, don't you think an
introduction is in order?

Uh, yeah.

Uh, barney, this is, uh, nancy.

A man of a few words.

You don't have to tell me.

I guess I don't.

- Wojo still out?
- Yes.

Uh, well, I'm sure he'll
be back very shortly.

Does everybody call him that?

Or is that just a private
joke between the two of you?

Uh, that's, uh,

Pretty much his
name around here.

Wojo.

That's strange.

Uh... So how long
have you known, uh...

Stanley?

We met a couple of months
ago in prospect park.

Ah. You jog, too?

No, I was just walking.

He was sitting on the
grass playing his flute.

Playing his flute?

He's pretty good,
don't you think?

Yeah, well, I'm sure he is.

He just started
hitting for no reason.

I had a right. He
put me through hell.

Can you stop yelling?
This is an old building.

What have we got here?

That's frank mallory
there, and this is nells finney.

We found them rolling
around in the gutter

In front of finney's business.

I was just trying
to get a refund.

A refund?

Yeah, uh, finney here
owns a travel agency.

Jolly jaunt tours.

Hours on a plane,
five hours in customs,

Two hours in a dirty taxi.

Mr. Mallory returned from
a trip to europe this morning

That mr. Finney had arranged.

Days of horror.

I told you it wasn't
our deluxe package.

Listen, my wife had
been planning on this trip

For years.

It was gonna be the
honeymoon we never had.

We were gonna revitalize
our relationship,

And now she wants a divorce.

Did you know that?

Just take it easy. Take
it easy, mr. Mallory.

- Who's charging who?
- It's mutual.

All right.

I'm gonna slide mr. Mallory
around here to your desk.

Here we go.

Wojo, you got mr. Finney.

Have a seat there, mr. Finney.

What's going to happen now?

Sergeant wojciehowicz
is gonna book you.

It's very ironic, isn't it?

How so?

The way different professions
use the same terminology.

If you say so.

I mean, I book
people in my business.

You book people
in your business.

It's very ironic.

Of course, around here,
you don't need a reservation.

Book him.

I'll get up.

You're still here, huh?

Listen, I know that you
have lots of work to do,

So I'll just get going.

I'll see you.

Stan.

Yeah?

The key.

Oh.

Now, uh... The thing
is, this is the, uh...

This is the only key
I got, you know, so...

I could have one made.

Would you hold your
horses for a minute?

The problem apparently
started two weeks ago

When the price of
gold began to drop.

It made him crazy.

He became withdrawn and moody.

Yes, I remember.

And then, suddenly, he saw that,

And he's got another
magnificent obsession.

She's talking about
this little ditty.

"Attention, adventure seekers.

"Mercenaries needed now,

"Persons with m*llitary
or intelligence skills.

Make that big
money in overseas..."

"Hot spots."

"Brookburn enterprise
at west th street."

That's where he is right now.

Well, I'm still not convinced

That there's anything
illegal about this.

Well, we're coming
to that, barn.

You see, apparently,
brookburn enterprises

Also supplies its
applicants with weapons.

Last week, he brought
home a bazooka.

Maybe you better check it out.

Okay.

Take a couple of
uniforms with you.

Right, barn.

Excuse me.

I'll, uh, I'll see you later.

Uh, where are you going?

I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have
come in the first place.

Wait. Ho, ho.

Can't you just wait a second?

What for?

So that we can discuss it.

We discussed it
in atlantic city.

We discussed it in the poconos.

We discussed it
during the day, at night,

Standing up, lying down.

Shh.

You know, a guy needs a...

A little time to think
something like this through

Without having it
crammed down his throat.

Excuse me.

I've got to go.

Well, hold on a second.

Very nice to have met you.

Hey.

Hope it wasn't on account of me.

Okay, right this way.

I know, I know. I've
been here before.

Uh, he hasn't.

You get a big kick
out of this, don't you?

- I'm doing it for you.
- I don't want you to!

Hey, hey.

You remember captain miller?

You can't stop
me. This is america.

You do remember mr. Brower.

Now I do.

A man has got a right
to give his life meaning.

A man has got a
right to participate.

In what?

In the ebb and flow
of current events.

That's very conscientious
of you, mr. Brower,

But your wife is very
concerned for your safety.

I don't care what she told you.

I want you to
understand one thing.

I have thought this
thing over very carefully

And very calmly.

This is not the
act of a crazy man.

Look at the eyes, the eyes.

My eyes always look like this.

I've had pictures
when I was a little kid.

Why don't you have a seat?

You're a very sick
woman, harriet.

Coming from you,
that is a compliment.

Oh, really?

Mr. Brower, why don't
you have a seat, huh?

Barn... This is charles dundee.

Colonel dundee.

Colonel, are you
presently in the army?

Several.

I take it you are the
commanding officer?

I'm captain miller, yes.

He's the main honcho over
at brookburn enterprises.

I'm the president and
supervising officer

Of worldwide operations.

Got a room above a pizza
joint over on th street.

We like to keep a low profile.

You also like to keep
a couple of firearms.

I've got a right to secure
my place of business.

Barn, assorted small arms,

Heavy-caliber semi
and a*t*matic weapons,

Pieces of assorted
pyrotechnics,

Two flamethrowers,

And an m- anti-t*nk g*n.

Expecting trouble?

I keep it mostly for
sentimental reasons.

Oh.

According to your advertisement,

You run some kind
of recruiting agency.

We're looking for
a few good men.

I see.

Is, uh... Is that one of them?

- Brower is a good man.
- Mm-hmm.

You would send a -year-old
appliance salesman off

To fight in some guerrilla w*r?

You say "w*r" like there's
something dirty about it.

Must have slipped out.

Captain, w*r is the one
thing we can depend on

In a crazy, mixed-up,
uncertain world.

Why don't you have a seat

Over at sergeant harris' desk?

He'll get some further
information from you.

Thanks, barn.

Mr. Dundee.

Colonel.

I... I like her
and all, but, uh...

It's not exactly like
she's fresh off the vine.

Oh?

I mean, she never
walked the streets.

Oh. Sorry.

It's been, uh,
strictly... Telephone.

But that's all over with now.

I'm sure.

I don't know what it is, barn.

I mean, i... I always
seem to get hooked up

With the "fallen women."

Yeah.

Remember wentworth?

She was a cop.

Yeah.

But she reminded me of a hooker.

It's like I need to think

That they need saving...

And I'm the only guy in
the world who can do it.

Maybe it's... Maybe
it's just that...

That you can see...
Worthwhile qualities...

Vulnerability,
even spirituality...

That other people miss.

I asked her to move in with me.

I think I made a mistake.

Well, look, it's always tough

To make any kind of commitment.

I can't say anything
to you other than, uh...

Go with your feelings.

That's the problem. My
feelings keep changing.

I mean, uh...

It's like, while, you know,
we're fooling around,

I think, "great, let's do
something permanent."

A few minutes later, I
start getting doubts.

Perfectly natural.

You know what my problem is?

I'm a prisoner of
my biological urges.

Sorry to hear that.

I mean, it's like your sex life

Is running the whole show.

You remember what I mean.

Vaguely.

Well, I mean, you're
above all that now.

Not entirely.

Oh. Yeah, sure.

Approximate date you
purchased the w*apon?

You ever consider it?

Consider what?

Merc work.

Merc work?

Half dozen places in africa.

You could name
your own ticket...

Angola, ethiopia, the congo.

No, thanks.

Why not?

I can't wear khaki.

How'd you let me miss that?

What?

The congo.

I've just about had
it with your sarcasm.

You should be grateful
you even got to go to europe.

Big deal. Everybody's
been to europe.

I haven't.

You're kidding.

I haven't been anyplace.

I thought you people went
on these special junkets.

Sure, just take off, huh?

Who's gonna watch the store?

Oh, yeah. I know what you mean.

You people taking off

For london, rome,
rio de janeiro.

I'm stuck in a cold, filthy
city in a box of an office.

I didn't realize...

I know you didn't realize it.

Staring all day
at travel posters

Of cute little girls
in native costumes...

Day after day staring

At that damn poster of greece.

Aren't they beautiful?

Rhodes, corfu, lesbos...

Warm, blue water, music, ouzo.

Take it easy, finney.

Oh, god.

I want to go someplace!

Harriet, the opportunities
are incredible.

Listen, a few years ago,

A band of mercs captured
an island off africa.

They owned the whole
country. They were kings.

Oh, phil, if something
happens over there,

That solves your problems,

But I still have the rest
of my life to get through.

But, harriet, I
can do something.

I can affect something.

Oh, phil, I need you
here, not , miles away.

Well, all right, maybe I
don't have to go to africa.

Maybe I could go
to the caribbean

Or south america
or maybe mexico city.

What are you going
to do, commute?

Phil... I want you here.

I need you.

Don't do that, harriet.

What?

Turn me on.

Oh, barney, i, uh, finished
checking out the colonel.

He's got a collector's
license for the weapons.

Oh, how about
brookburn enterprises?

Tacky, but it's legal.

Anything else you need, captain?

Not at the moment, colonel.

Thank you for your cooperation.

My pleasure. Ready, brower?

Look, uh, colonel,
there's, uh...

There's been a change in plan.

I can't go with you.

Oh.

It's, uh... It's my wife.

She's unstable. I
can't leave her alone.

Well, that's too bad. It
would have been great fun.

Yeah.

But... There'll be
other chances...

Middle east, asia, cleveland.

Touch of humor.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thanks.

Don't mention it.

Phil?

Yeah.

Can we go?

Yeah, we can go.

Oh.

Oh, thank you so much.

Anytime.

Everyone. Oh,
captain, thank you.

Everyone.

Good luck, mr. Brower.

Be seeing you.

Yeah, I'll bet you
anything I'll be seeing you.

Captain, see you around.

Probably.

We're gonna keep a little
eye on your collection.

No problem.

Oh, uh...

You know, a man
with your experience,

You'd be a major, easy.

Captain's plenty.

Anybody else?

- No.
- No, no.

Stand easy, men.

Captain, I checked mallory
and finney for priors.

They're both clean.

Fine, gentlemen, we have
no reason to hold you.

Want to hold each other?

Huh?

Who is charging whom?

Well, if it's all
right with you,

I just want to get out of here.

Good. Mr. Mallory?

I just want to get to bed.

I'm starting to hallucinate.

Fine.

Let them loose.

That's an interesting
tactic you use.

What's that?

Whenever we have as*ault cases,

You always put the two
combatants in the cell together,

Give them the
opportunity to reconcile.

Thank you.

Or b*at the hell out
of each other again.

Well, I have faith
in human nature.

I figure two intelligent adults,

Given the opportunity...

I better get them out of there.

Yeah, hello. Uh, is nancy there?

Oh, yeah, right.

Well, then I'd like
to leave a message.

Tell her, uh...

Tell her stan
will be home at : .

Stan.

She can bring her stuff
over any time after that.

Right. Thanks.

Why not?

Good luck.

Thanks.

Hey, barn?

What did you think of her?

Well, we only chatted briefly,

But... What I saw, I liked.

Yeah.

She's pretty special.

She must be.

You never played
your flute for us.

No, she's not a... A
permanent guest there.

She's just, uh, there a lot.

Okay, then just give
me the bar, all right?

Yeah, hello?

Uh, just a minute.

You got a blonde
there at the bar?

She's about ' ".

She's got blue eyes, nice build,

Name is nancy.

I got your message.

Never mind.

Where you been?

Been calling all over.

Yeah, I know.

Uh, come on in.

Thanks.

Here, I'll get your stuff.

You got a lot of stuff.

Nice.

Here. Hmm.

Have a seat.

I'm okay.

I'm sorry about what
happened this morning.

It really doesn't matter.

Well, uh, do I get
the grand tour?

Yeah, sure. That's the kitchen,

And in there's the bedroom

And, uh, bathroom.

And this is?

Family room.

Come on, sit down.

I'll help with that.

I know it ain't much.

Oh, I like it.

It's you.

Rumpled but comfortable.

Well, it's got possibilities.

Well...

Here I am.

Yeah.

Did you eat dinner yet?

No, I haven't.

Want to go out?

That's all right, I can
stay in and fix something.

Sure, why not?

Well, I might as well start

Getting the hang
of your kitchen.

Well, there's not that
much to get the hang of.

Where do you keep your food?

Uh, I haven't had a chance
to go shopping recently.

Come on, let's just go out
and get a pizza, all right?

Or chinese.

Well, if you want to
go out, we'll go out.

Yeah, right. Uh...

Okay, I just thought, you know,

Since you hadn't had
anything to eat... Uh...

Well, sit down.

You know, we usually
don't have this much time.

Usually grab a bite to eat,

Whip up to the hotel
room, and that was it.

I enjoyed it.

Oh. So did i.

I just meant that we
never had much of a chance

To talk about things, you know,

Find out about each
other's interests.

Yeah. Uh...

I like hockey.

That's interesting.

There's a game on right now.

Well, please put it on.

It ain't, uh, that great a game.

When do you take the g*n off?

I don't know. No,
uh, particular time.

Whenever the mood strikes you?

I-i don't really,
uh, think about it.

What, does it bother you?

I don't believe in them.

I don't think they're necessary.

Well, what good's
a cop without a g*n?

The police in london
don't carry g*ns.

Maybe they can't afford it.

You know, they're not
doing too good over there.

I just meant that it would be
nice if no one had to use a g*n.

And anyway, I
think men like them

Because it's a macho
thing, you know?

Psychologically speaking,

It's like having
another male organ.

What?

That's right.

Where'd you... Hear
a... Dumb thing like that?

A psychologist told me.

And you believed him?

Psychologists don't lie.

Not lying is part of their work.

Trouble is, you don't know
when somebody's putting you on.

Maybe.

I mean, I guess he
really got you there.

I guess so.

What did you go see a
psychologist for, anyway?

I didn't.

Came to see me.

What time is it?

: .

I guess I better go
unpack my things.

Hmm?

Oh, yeah, uh...

The, uh... Closet's
in the bedroom.

Fine.

We need plants.

Why?

I'll have to move your
shirts to one side, okay?

Yeah, sure.

Stan?

Yeah.

Can I have one of your drawers?

Yeah, w-w-w-whatever you need.

I'll have to move
your underwear.

I'm gonna put it on.

Put what on?

The hockey game.

Oh.

I like the bed.

Nice and firm.

Hey, I'm going out.

Out? Why?

Get some chinese food.

I'll be back in minutes.

Well, I don't care
much for chinese food.

Well, I'd like some
chinese food.

Oh.

I mean, you can't
watch a hockey game

Without chinese food.

I've heard that.

- I'm back.
- Hi.

Sorry I took so long.

I decided...

Wh... What did you do?

Oh, I just straightened
up a little.

I threw out all
the old newspapers,

And I hung up your clothes.

Well, how am I going
to find anything?

I just put them up on hooks.

Yeah, but the way I had
things organized, like...

Uh, never... Never mind.

I set the table.

You see, perfect etiquette.

Salad fork, regular fork,

Soup dish on plate.

Uh, I got pizza.

I thought you were
getting chinese.

No, all the decent
chinese places are closed.

I think it's something
the president just did.

Good.

I guess we won't
need all of these.

Oh, no, no. Hey. Uh, leave them.

It looks nice. Come on.

Here you go.

Hey, that's a big pizza.

Well, I usually eat a whole one.

You know, I mean...

You don't eat... Just
eat as much as you...

It's gonna be all right.

Want a beer?

No, I made some tea.

I had tea?

I had some in my purse.

Oh.

Well, uh, help yourself.

Tv announcer: what a sh*t.

You don't mind if I turn back
on the hockey game, do you?

No, go ahead.

Good pizza.

You know... About the
only thing I know about you

Is the kind of food you like.

Uh-huh.

You like everything.

So that's not even anything.

I mean, I don't know
where you were born

Or where you grew up

Or what kind of
books you like to read.

I don't know much
about you, either.

That's true.

So we're even.

Want some garlic bread?

No, thanks.

You know, you'd think with
two people in our situation,

They might be a little
curious about each other.

Mm-hmm.

Isn't there something
you'd like to know about me?

Nothing in particular.

Where I was born?

My political affiliations?

My favorite color?

How'd you get started hooking?

Turquoise.

Hmm?

Turquoise... It's
my favorite color.

How'd you get started hooking?

Why?

You wanted me to
ask you a question.

That's what I'm curious about.

It's hard to explain.

Take your time.

Rangers are dead anyway.

It's - in the last period.

Look.

I would... Just go out with men.

We'd have a nice time,

And the next day, they
would send me something.

You know, flowers, candy,

Tv sets, toaster ovens.

Uh-huh.

Most of the time
with the sales slips,

So if I wanted to,

I could return
them for the money.

Uh-huh.

After a while, i...

I just got tired of going back
and forth to department stores.

So after a while, they
started giving me cash.

And you never
suspected anything.

Look, it wasn't like I took on
everybody that came my way.

I only went out
with men I liked.

How'd you know you liked them?

They had to be a certain type.

Yeah, like what?

Good sense of
humor... Nice build...

Light eyes, fair.

There must be hundreds
of guys like that.

There are thousands.

Hi.

Looks real nice.

Just something I bought.

Don't think I've seen you, uh,
wearing anything like that.

Well, i-i sort of figured

This was sort of
a special occasion.

Listen, I could take it off.

No.

I don't mind it.

I'm flattered.

Game still on?

Yeah.

What's the score?

Uh, - , knicks.

It's basketball.

I guess if you wanted, you
could watch a game hours a day.

Probably.

Hey, all right!

You don't know anything
about basketball, do you?

No.

Or hockey.

Sorry.

Oh, that's okay.

I'm just... Feeling
you out, you know?

I'm going to bed.

Okay, uh, I'm gonna, uh,
watch the rest of the game.

Is there any more on after this?

No, after this is just,
you know, movies.

Okay.

I'll be in the bedroom.

Mm-hmm.

In the bed.

Yeah.

I'll see ya.

Huh?

Good morning.

Oh, hi.

I made some coffee.

Okay.

What time is it?

A little after : .

In the morning?

That's right.

Well... See ya.

What are you doing?

Just leaving.

Why? What happened?

Nothing happened.

I had a very quiet night.

Well, hey, I fell asleep
watching television.

Yeah, I know.

I waited up for you.

I kept thinking,

"He'll be back in a
couple of minutes

Right after 'charlie chan.'"

Well, it wasn't that
great a mystery, you know?

I figured it out, and
then I guess I fell asleep.

I'm sorry.

That's okay.

It gave me a little
time to think.

About what?

About all this.

Well, what about it?

What about it is...

This is not a very good idea.

Well, I'll be seeing you.

Hey, hey, ho, wait a minute.

I mean, what, you get
your nose out of joint

'Cause I didn't carry on like
some john on a quickie weekend?

Thanks.

I needed that.

All right, freeze!

I mean, hold it.

I mean, uh, you can't go now.

Why not?

Because you hid my clothes.

I won't be able
to find anything.

Sorry, I didn't mean
to confuse you.

Yeah, well, you don't just
walk into somebody's home

And make everything nice.

It won't happen again.

See you.

Yeah?

Oh, yeah. Hi, barn.

Really?

Well, guess I kind
of lost track of time.

Uh, barn, I got a sort
of personal crisis here.

Uh, listen...

I'll be in... I'll be right in.

No, no, no, no, no. I'll be in.

Uh, thanks, barn,

But, um, there isn't
anything you can do.

Yeah, I appreciate that.

Barn, could you make it quick?

Uh, I'd kind of like
to keep the line open.

Yeah, right. Okay, bye.

How you doing?

Fine.

And yourself?

In the pink.

So, you got my message?

Yeah, everybody
told me you called me.

Well, good.

Everybody told me it
was official business.

Not exactly official business.

I just wanted you to
know it was important.

Well, I'm here.

Come on in.

What for?

I just want to see you again.

Why, can't you find your shirts?

They'll turn up sooner or later.

I'm sure.

I thought that, uh...

You might want to
take another sh*t at it.

You know, uh, start
all over and, uh...

Try it again.

Oh, I don't know.

Well, why don't you
just, uh, stay a few days

And think it over?

I really don't think
you want me here.

Why? 'Cause I watch some
ball games on television,

And, uh, I sleep on the couch?

No. Because I think we
do fine in atlantic city,

But I really don't think
we're gonna make it here.

We can make it here if
we go a little slower,

I mean, establish a
few ground rules.

- Ground rules?
- Yeah.

Such as?

Such as, uh, simple,
ordinary things

Like not messing with
the other guy's clothes.

All right.

And no redecorating
without mutual consent.

All right.

But no watching tv after : .

Okay.

But no plants until we know
if we're gonna last or not.

No plants?

All right, no plants.

Oh, but how about keeping a lid

On snide remarks about
former occupations?

S-sure.

I guess I should unpack.

You can do that later.

I got to go.

What?

I'm an hour and a
half late for work.

Oh.

This has nothing to
do with you, believe me.

I believe you.

It's some kind of conspiracy.

I keep trying to make
it to work on time,

And every day,
something new happens.

My psychologist said
that habitual tardiness

Is an expression of ego, a
calling attention to oneself.

Yeah, he was full of
fascinating things, wasn't he?

Uh...

Hey, you forgot your g*n.

No offense.

Tv announcer: what a sh*t.

Shower's free if you want it.

Thanks.

It's pulsating real good.

Really gets your blood flowing.

Uh-huh.

Score still - ?

- .

Okay, then... I'm
gonna go to bed.

Okay.

You coming?

The game's still on.

Yeah, but you can read about
it tomorrow in the paper.

I'm just trying to learn.

I want to be able to
share in your interests.

I got other interests,
too, you know?

I'll be there in a little while.

Oh, nice sh*t!

Oh, beautiful! Beautiful!

Mm-hmm.

You know, uh, when
you really think about it,

It's kind of silly, a bunch
of grown men on skates

Chasing some big checker around.

That's number .

Do you know who number is?

No.

He's good.

I'm gonna take another shower.