06x19 - Dietrich's Arrest: Part 2

Episode transcripts for the TV series, "Barney Miller". Aired: January 23, 1975 – May 20, 1982.*
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Takes place almost entirely within the confines of the detectives' squad room and Captain Barney Miller's adjoining office of New York City's fictional 12th Precinct, located in Manhattan's Greenwich Village.
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06x19 - Dietrich's Arrest: Part 2

Post by bunniefuu »

Oh, sir, I got a statement
and a positive i.d.

From the liquor-store owner,

So I'm gonna run vella
over to the tombs.

Fine.

Still not here, sir.

Thank you, levitt.

Oh. Of course I wouldn't
be too hard on him.

I mean, nobody likes to
work the sunday shift.

I know I don't.

And I'm really sorry
for having to call you in.

Oh, sir, I don't mind.

I mean, with sergeant
dietrich on restricted duty

And sergeant harris
leaving on his skiing trip,

You got to screw up
somebody's day off,

So why not mine?

Hope you didn't have big plans.

Oh, not really, sir.

I was just going over

And visit my mother in jersey.

Oh.

She lives alone in hoboken.

Oh.

She's today.

Levitt, all you had to
do was say something.

I'm sure we could
have worked it out.

Oh, sir, that's all
right, that's all right.

I'll probably see her next week.

God willing.

Look sharp. We're going down
to the tombs in a few minutes.

Hey, but I got some
friends coming over.

We all had plans.

Oh, come on.

You were supposed
to have it there today.

Look, can't you get some...

You know, uh, make some?

All right, look, I don't
want to hear any more

Of your excuses or promises.

You just have it there on the
ground when my plane lands.

Have what?

Snow.

Snow?

It's falling everywhere in
wyoming except jackson hole.

I mean, it's like somebody knows
I've got reservations there.

I didn't say a word.

I mean, everybody
says "go to aspen."

Of course, I had
to be different.

Look, even if there is no snow,

There's plenty of things
you can do in wyoming.

Well, there's, uh...

Horseback riding, uh... Hiking.

Horseshoes?

Oh, god, let it snow.

Cap, I finished the
december arrest statistics.

Oh, all right. Thank you.

Anything else you need...
Typing, filing, fresh towels?

Dietrich, I know you're not
too happy on restricted duty,

But do me a favor...
Do yourself a favor...

Make the best of it.

I'm trying, but
it's frustrating.

I just sit here and do
nothing. I can't go out on a call.

I can't carry a g*n. I
feel like I'm being punished.

You are.

Oh, yeah.

I'm late.

Really?

Wojo, I know it's sunday.

I know it's tough
getting out of bed

And there are a lot
of great games on tv.

I went to church.

Oh.

I didn't realize
you were still, uh...

Well, i, uh...

See, I haven't been
for the last few years,

But this morning I
just felt like going.

Oh.

Excuse me.

Which is fine,

Except that everybody
seems to be able

To arrange their
schedules in such a way

That they can still
get to work on time.

Yeah, well, I would have, barn,

But... Well, I stuck
around a little longer...

To pray.

But it won't happen again.

No, that's okay.

Hello.

Can I help you?

I'm here to see barney.

Oh, sure. Just a second.

Uh, barney? A friend of yours.

Well, I'm not a friend yet.

Bob schuyler, plymouth mutual.

Mr. Schuyler.

We've been authorized by the
police benevolent association

To offer a comprehensive package

Of life, accident, and medical

To the members of the
new york police department.

I see. You're selling insurance?

Mm-hmm.

Anybody need some?

- Harris: excuse me.
- Dietrich: I'm busy.

Hey, no, thanks, man.

I'm afraid... I need some.

I do.

I'm bob schuyler, and you are?

Stan wojciehowicz.

Is that polish?

Yeah.

What, are the rates different?

Oh, no.

Not anymore.

Cap, I've got a break-in
across the street.

Oh, how convenient.

I sure wish I could go.

Harris, you and wojo.

Let's go, woj. Got a call.

Okay, look, I'm gonna
be out for a while.

Oh, that's all right, sergeant.

I can find something
to do till you return.

Oh, captain, married?

No.

Would you like a calendar?

No, thanks.

It has a thermometer.

Why didn't you say so?

You'll notice our
words to live by.

Every day is a little life,

But our whole life
is but a day repeated.

Right.

And speaking of whole life,

I think we can offer you
a very attractive policy

That would provide not
only financial security

For your loved ones

But also a sizeable
cash equity buildup.

Can I get my g*n
back for a second?

Oh, barney.

Come on. Step right in here.

I have no problem with that.

Excuse me, excuse me.

What do we got?

Did the weather
service call back yet?

No.

Oh, excuse me.

Wojo?

Wojo?

I'll be with you in
just a second, uh...

Bob. Take your time.

Barney, this is howard speer.

This is captain miller.

How do you do, captain?

The security guard over there

In the building that
they finally finished

Caught him spray-painting
stuff on the walls...

"Keep away," "this
building is condemned,"

"This place is a big pile of..."

Okay, okay. Thank you.

Why can't I say it?

Barney, he also admitted

To vandalizing the place
during construction,

Sabotaging the equipment,

Knocking over big
portable... Hello?

Uh, yes, is there any
news on jackson?

Is this a hobby of
yours, mr. Speer?

No.

He's an architect.

And, uh, he says that
he designed the building.

Not that building.

Mine had terraces and skylights,

Form and substance!

It grew to the sky
like a... Like a redwood.

That's no more than a sterile
lump of glass and metal.

I take it they made some
design changes on you, huh?

Something like that.

So, we contacted the owner,

And they're definitely
gonna press charges.

Myopic philistines.

I'm afraid we're gonna
have to book you, mr. Speer.

Oh, so, you're on
their side, too?

Well, I don't...

"Why not make a few
changes?," You say.

"After all, there are no
property rights on ideas.

In a democracy, art
belongs to the people."

Isn't that so, captain?

I really can't...
What time is it?

Wojo, you want
to book mr. Speer?

I can't, barn. I've
got to talk to bob.

Harris!

Barney, it's snowing!

Wonderful, wonderful.
You want to book mr. Speer?

I'm in a good mood. Why not?

Mr. Speer, have a seat.

Do you have the time?

Certainly. : .

Thank you.

Any questions, wojo?

Uh, well, no, it all
looks pretty good.

But one thing on this
accident insurance here.

Oh, you mean our
dismemberment bonue schedule.

Yeah.

It says here that
if I lose one leg,

I get $ , .

But if I lose two
legs, I only got $ , .

Shouldn't it be ?

We don't like to
encourage people.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, barney, is there
anything you'd like me

To bring you back from jackson?

Oh, no, thanks.

Hey, come on, barn. I
mean, a pair of boots?

Maybe a nice belt buckle?

You know what I'd really like?

What?

I don't know what you call it.

One of those, uh...

One of those ties where
the strings hang down.

A bolo?

Yeah, with the
turquoise thing on top.

Oh, one of those like sky king?

Yeah.

Okay.

I mean, it's your neck.

When was this building built?

It was here when I got here.

Probably around .

It has that strong, clean,

Functional line of that period.

It's real, genuine.

Not like that cortland
across the street.

What was that?

Nothing.

Excuse me.

Do you have the time?

Listen, speer has an
unusual interest in the time.

So?

Well, it's almost like he's
got something planned.

Like what?

When he first came in,

He said a few things
that sounded familiar.

Just now he mentioned cortland.

Keep going.

Cortland was the
name of the building

In "the fountainhead,"
a novel by ayn rand.

Oh, yeah.

Remember patricia neal
wore that gown with the fur?

Yeah, yeah, remember gary
cooper played the architect

Who blows up his own building?

Sign right here.

Your coverage
begins immediately.

Mr. Speer?

Right here.

Mr. Speer, is there
something you haven't told us?

Do you have the time?

Mr. Speer, is there a
b*mb in that building?

Several.

Tnt charges with quartz timers.

What time... : .

Gentlemen, we may have some
expl*sives across the street.

Dietrich, get on
to the b*mb squad.

I can do that.

Harris... Barney,
you said I could go.

Wojo, harris!

Across the street. Make
sure that building is cleared.

Rope off the area. Take a
couple of uniforms with you.

You've got about
minutes, huh?

Okay, look, and no
unnecessary risks.

Come on.

Uh...

"Z."

Thanks.

Be careful.

Look, mr. Speer, I promise you,

It's gonna go a
lot easier on you

If you'll tell us
where those bombs are.

I suppose it would.

Mr. Speer, people
are gonna get hurt.

Oh, no, captain, I placed
those charges very carefully.

How thoughtful.

b*mb squad just arrived.

Hi. We're lawyers.

Don't do anything
stupid, or we will.

What the hell is this?

We're here for joseph vella.

Who?

Joseph vella. You
busted him this morning.

Yeah, that was the kid
levitt took down to tombs.

Oh. He's not here anymore.

And nobody told us?

Sorry.

So, what do we do now?

Let me think. Let me think.

Maybe we ought to
get their g*ns, huh?

Good thought.

Thank you.

Okay, let's go. Put it in there.

Look, this is... Now!

This is not gonna work.

Okay, you, too, four eyes.

I don't have one.

Hey, come on. You're
a cop, aren't you?

I'm on restricted duty.

What's that?

I don't want to talk
about it, all right?

Come on. Let's have it.

Oh, I don't carry a w*apon.

He's a civilian.

Bob schuyler,
plymouth mutual ins...

Back off, or I'll
blow your head off!

I get a lot of that.

What about this guy here, huh?

He's a prisoner.

Get in the cage.

- Come on. Get in the cage.
- Good idea.

Four people, one lousy g*n, huh?

One can never tell.

Yeah?

Okay, this is what we want.

Lieutenant jenkins
of the b*mb squad.

Oh. Excuse me.

b*mb squad? Hey,
what's he talking about?

We couldn't get it out of him.

Look, we're doing
the best we can

Under the circumstances.

Yes, we will.

If we do, yeah. Okay.

Okay, you call
whoever you got to call,

And you tell them
to deliver vella

And $ , in unmarked bills

In a van out in
front in one hour.

Then you tell 'em

We want a helicopter waiting
for us at the metroport,

Or else we start wasting people.

Look, maybe you
guys don't know this,

But we've got a little problem

In a building across the street.

There's a b*mb that
may explode in about...

Minutes.

Minutes.

Yeah?

So I'm afraid your
demands will have to wait.

We got g*ns.

And we respect that,

But I'm afraid you'll
just have to bear with us.

Just have a seat.

I'll be with you
as soon as I can.

Okay, but you better hurry.

We'll sit over there.

Look, mr. Speer...

As you can see, we've
got other problems now.

I'm sorry,

But these people have
to be made to understand.

A man's ideas, the
creations of his own mind,

Belong to him.

They can't be bought
or traded or bastardized

To serve somebody
else's interests.

I agree, but surely
there must be a better way

To make the point.

You know, this room...

Is a marvelous room
real wood frames,

Lath-and-plaster walls.

It's got strength
and... Character.

You people are very lucky.

Okay, freeze right there.

Oh, come on!

Right on top, right here.

Who let them in?

Just do what they
say, wojo, huh?

Listen, I've got a flight
that takes off at : ,

So I got to be out of
here no later than : .

You understand?

Do what you're asked.
Put your g*n down here.

What's going on down there?

Uh... Uh... The, uh,
area has been cleared.

And, uh... And, uh...
The b*mb squad

Is going through the
building floor by floor.

All right, get back down there,

And if they don't find anything
in the next five minutes,

You make sure they get
the hell out of there.

Go ahead.

Okay.

Where's he going?

Do you mind?

Okay. He can go.

Uh, barney?

Yeah?

I didn't go to
church this morning.

What?

It was a lie. I made
the whole thing up.

Wojo, we can disc...

I just couldn't face another
one of your lectures.

It's all right!
Just get out there!

Will you, please?

Thanks, barney.

I've got a flight booked
at : for jackson hole,

And I just might not make it.

When is your next
flight available?

Not until thursday?

Yeah, I know it's snowing.

Thanks.

Look, you are not going
to blow this vacation.

I don't want to hear
about your vacation

Or any other garbage.

We want vella.

We want the money
and the helicopter...

Now.

Helicopter?

Metroport, east side, right?

Yeah.

Thank you.

Things ain't working
out like we planned.

They seldom do.

I know you're
probably not thinking

About insurance right
now, but perhaps you should.

Adequate coverage
is especially vital

For someone in your profession

Who enjoys no retirement
benefits or medical protection,

And thus may face a
very bleak second half,

Assuming you have one.

I can put together
a very attractive...

Get him out of here.

Bob, let's talk premiums.

Okay, now it's our turn.

About / minutes?
What do you got?

/ .

Hey, you guys have been jerking
us around here long enough.

I mean, you got people
sitting around here...

People going in, going out,

Wasting time with
this bozo over here,

And ignoring us.

I mean, you haven't
called in our demands.

You haven't called the airport.

What for?

They're not gonna
give you anything.

They're not gonna
give you your friend.

They're not gonna
give you any money.

They're certainly not
gonna give you an airplane.

- Then what are we doing here?
- I don't know.

Hey, we got the g*ns.
You take orders from us.

Okay. What do we do?

All right.

Everybody stand up.

Yeah, one-way.

Now what?

There are cops downstairs.

Okay, everybody sit down.

We've got about seconds.

Oh, boy.

Hey, listen to me!

Look, you're not
gonna get out of here.

Nobody ever has.

I know. That's why we did it.

What?

I mean, uh, well,
the thing is...

We're a new g*ng,

And... This was gonna
be a real coup...

I mean, busting him out
of the station house.

Well, what I mean is...

It's tough for a
new g*ng to start...

You know, with the
mafia and everything...

And... This was really
gonna give us prestige,

Help build a reputation.

Believe me.

Just getting this
far is very impressive.

I'm satisfied.

How about you?

You want to give me your g*n?

Let me think. Let me think.

Seconds.

Don't rush me!

What do you say?

All right.

But this better
be in the papers.

Hey, you forgot this one.

Yeah, yeah.

Seconds.

.

, ... , , ...

Very funny, m...

God, that felt good.

Put 'em in the cage.

Then can I go?

Fine.

How's it going?

Oh, what happened? Anybody hurt?

No, but you missed it.

There was that
big, muffled roar,

And the building just...

Hung there... For a second,

And then it dropped
straight to the ground,

Like a big hand
had pushed it down.

It was inspiring.

Thank you.

The b*mb squad applauded.

Write up the new charges
on speer and take a statement.

I think he already made one.

I'll get it in writing.

Sir, I'm back. I took
vella to the tombs.

Fine.

Oh, incidentally, you know
that building across the street?

It's not there anymore.

We heard.

Should I put out an apb?

A little tense in here.

Th precinct. Wojciehowicz.

Well, I suppose there's
nothing else for me to do here.

Oh, hi.

We appreciate you
coming down, mr. Schuyler.

Pleasure, captain.

Oh, he's all right.
Here. Just a minute.

Barn. It's mrs. Miller.

Oh?
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