06x20 - The Architect

[bunniefuu]

- Morning, dietrich.
- Howdy.

H-h-hey. How about that, huh?

Is your other tie in the shop?

Harris brought it back
from jackson hole for me.

- Look at that, huh?
- Nice gesture.

Yeah, I didn't think he was
going to go to all that trouble.

Look, with the initials and
silver and everything, huh?

Excuse me. I gotta
turn away to the coffee.

Barney: morning, harris.

Barney, I am thinking
very seriously

Of moving to ireland.

Hell of a commute.

Yeah, well, did you
know that in ireland,

Writers don't have to
pay one cent of income tax?

Oh, yes, that time
of year again, huh?

Yeah, I just got my return
back from the tax accountant.

And?

Well, barney, I don't mind
kicking in a little something,

But, barney, this is sick.

It's the price of success.

You are so lucky.

How's that?

Well, barn, tax-wise.

Barney, you got
everything going for you.

I mean, you only got
one source of income,

You're mortgaged to
the hilt, medical expenses,

Investment losses, a wife
and two lovely deductions.

Oh, yeah, we're one
big, happy write-off.

Yeah.

Oh, well, barn, look at you.

I told you I'd wear it.

And so you have.

Probably not the right
outfit to wear it with.

Oh, no. Hey, barn, look, it
goes good with the stripes.

Yeah?

Still wearing it, huh?

Yeah.

Here you go.

Oh. Report on the burglary?

Sort of. The best I could do.

No luck, huh?

I keep going over it and
over it in my mind, you know?

Pulled in front of the store,

Gave harris enough
time to get around behind.

All of a sudden, the
guy comes running out.

Before I have a
chance to yell "freeze,"

The other guy in
the car yells, "hey..."

You know, whatever
his name was, "it's a cop!"

And he squeezes off
a few rounds at me.

But you can't remember the name?

Getting closer.

I mean, I hear, uh,
"bettina"? "Batista"?

"Bell-maja."

"Mertz"?

Well, it's not that easy.

Yeah, what, uh... What
about the license plate?

Well, th-that,
now, I'm positive.

Yeah?

That there's a three in it.

Wonderful.

Or an eight.

Woj, you ever thought
about getting hypnotized?

No. Have you?

The department's got
qualified personnel.

We've used it to help witnesses

And victims recall details.

Not a bad idea, you know?

No, I'll remember it on my own.

Maybe, but if you can't,

Hypnosis can be
used very effectively.

Taps the subconscious,

Helps to locate facts or images

That seem to have
been lost or forgotten.

Yeah, or make a guy
act like a chicken.

Yeah, I love that stuff.

Listen, wojo, it's
not a bad idea.

It may be worth a sh*t.

Barn, I don't want
some guy coming up here

In a black cape swinging
something like that

In front of my face.

Look, what do you say?

It's something to think about.

Barney, an alarm just went off

In a factory over on canal.

Oh. Uh, you and dietrich.

Okay.

Harris?

Think I ought to get hypnotized?

We can use the eggs.

Okay, you want to
step right inside here?

Don't you understand?
I have the answer

To the greatest problem
facing civilization today.

Who asked you?

Barn, this is herbert emery.

We picked him up at
powerite electronics.

Found him in the
president's office.

He'd broken into the safe

And taken out these blueprints.

They're mine! I drew them!

Mr. Emery is the director
of research and development

For the company.

Yeah, but I'm quitting.

Good move.

Anyway, I contacted the company,

And they're gonna send
somebody over to press charges.

Sure, they'll do
anything to keep me quiet,

To keep my research
from becoming a reality.

These blueprints, barn,
are of some kind of battery.

Not "some kind of battery"!

A battery that
will last forever!

No, no. It's against the law.

What?

The law of physics.

That's what I used to
think, too, but I was wrong.

It can be done,
and I've done it!

Here. Look at my plans.

You too.

Look. It's all there.

See?

Let me explain.

You see, they hired me to
develop a better battery,

But I went too far.

I developed a perfect
battery, and now they're afraid

It's going to put
them out of business.

Well, I'm afraid we're gonna
have to book you anyway.

But, sheriff!

Captain!

Have a seat over
here, mr. Emery.

Honest mistake, marshall.

Now, see, the design
of the battery,

The use of iron-charged
zinc compounds

In place of sulfuric acid

Is quite radical.

But theoretically,
it could work.

Theoretically. Of
course it could work!

Just like countless
other innovations

We could have tomorrow,

If certain people
weren't sitting on them.

Imagine, we would
have a light bulb

That would never burn out.

An automobile that could
get miles on a gallon.

Chewing gum, that would
never lose its flavor.

Never?

Cost you $ a stick,

But it would last forever.

I'm dr. Kramer.

Ah, doctor, I'm captain miller.

I take it you're the hypnotist?

I'm a psychologist
who uses hypnosis

As one tool among many. I see.

Are you the officer
with the problem?

No.

I thought possibly
you'd forgotten

Where you put your real tie.

I'm just kidding, captain.

I'm the guy.

This is sergeant wojciehowicz.

Dr. Kramer.

How you doing?

Fine, and you?

I'm all right,

But I think I should
tell you right now

That I don't think
it's gonna work.

Possibly, sergeant.
Hypnosis isn't foolproof.

But I think if you'll
just try and relax

And give me your
cooperation and trust,

We have an excellent chance

Of reaching down
into your subconscious

And retrieving that
information you're searching for.

I'm still awake.

Would you like to use my office?

It's not really necessary.
We can do it right here.

Unless you're more at
ease in the captain's office.

Uh, no, I think we
should do it right here.

Have a seat.

Just put your hands in your lap.

Take a few deep breaths. Relax.

Is there something
I should be doing?

You mean like boiling water?

No, captain. Just stand by.

Are you comfortable, sergeant?

Yeah, yeah.

First, I'd like you to
focus your attention

On something in the room...

A spot on the wall,
a light fixture,

Anything you wish.

Okay.

Keep your eye on
it, but don't strain.

All right.

I'm going to begin
counting from to .

As I do,

Your body is gonna become
more and more relaxed.

By the count of , your
eyes will have closed,

And you will have fallen

Into a very pleasant
hypnotic state.

One.

Your eyelids are getting heavy.

Two.

Even heavier.

Three.

Even heavier.

You're very relaxed.

Wake me when he gets
to the chicken part.

He's well under.

Can I move now?

Please do.

Now, as I understand it,

There was a robbery
at a jewelry store

That you and your
partner were called out on.

Is that correct?

Yes, me and harris.

And what time did
you receive the call?

: P.m.

At night.

All right.

Sergeant, I want you
to return with me now.

Hi-yo, silver!

Sergeant...

There's a book in front of
you open to the last page.

Do you see it?

Yeah.

You will begin leafing
back through the book.

As you do, the
hours will slip away.

When you've arrived
at : last night,

Stop and open your eyes,
still in a deep hypnotic state.

Begin, sergeant.

Whose stupid idea was this?

What time is it?

: .

And where are you now?

Well, I'm on my way
to the bathroom,

Except the phone is ringing.

Are you going to answer it?

I have to.

Harris isn't gonna.

Now, you've taken the call.

Now what happens?

I go into barney's office

And tell him there's a
robbery in progress,

And he says, "all
right, you and harris,"

Like it's some big
decision or something.

And then I get my coat,

And I get harris' coat.

And then?

Well, then, I'm
waiting for harris.

Now he's talking to
somebody on the phone

About that dumb book of his.

Sometimes harris thinks
he's the only guy in the world

That can put two words together.

I got two words I could
put together right now.

Yeah, all right. Talk
in the lobby, will you?

It's a few moments later.

You're in the car
with your partner.

We're... We're going
down lafayette,

About blocks from the store.

Are you driving?

Uh... No, harris is driving.

I'm laughing.

Did something amusing occur?

Yeah.

Harris is telling me about
this tie he got for barney.

I mean, he bought it as a joke,

And barney turns
around and likes it.

Are we there yet?

Sergeant...

You're now just one
block away from the store.

Yeah, and, uh...

We stop about
feet from the store,

And harris gets out
and heads down the alley

So he can cover the back.

And I give him a few
seconds, and then I get out

And start approaching
the front door.

Shh! Shh!

Hey. Over here.

My name is john essex,

Attorney for
powerite electronics.

Yeah, we know what you're up to.

And the other
guy yells... "Hey..."

"It's a cop."

All right, sergeant, now,

You're going to tell
me again what happened,

Only this time all the
street noises will be hushed.

The only sound you'll hear

Will be the voice
of the man in the car.

Okay.

Um... I get out of the car...

I take a few steps forward...

And then the guy
in a red jacket...

Comes out the front door.

And before I can yell "freeze,"

The other guy shouts... "Hey..."

"Hey, behind you! It's a cop!"

"Behind ya." Him again.

Excuse me.

John essex,
powerite electronics.

How do you do?
I'm captain miller.

We still can't believe

That mr. Emery
would do such a thing.

He's been a trusted
employee for years.

Captain, watch him. He's tricky.

But in recent weeks,

He's become increasingly
erratic and unstable.

We've been quite concerned.

According to mr. Emery,

He's developed
quite a breakthrough

In a battery.

Oh, he's been talking
that gibberish again?

Believe me, captain,

Those blueprints
are nothing more

Than a pathetic hodgepodge
of bizarre scribblings.

They're completely worthless.

Then why were they locked
in the president's safe?

Sentimental reasons.

Why don't you have
a seat, mr. Essex?

We'll be with you in a
moment. Right there.

Oh.

I've got one of those, too,

But I've never had
the guts to wear it.

No, all I can see
is that black

On the yellow license plate.

It's all right. Okay.

All right. Now the
car has driven off.

What are you doing?

Giving pursuit.

Are you driving?

I'm running, but
the car is gone now.

Still trying to think
of the license number?

No, I'm thinking of
having to talk to barney.

I mean, I'm picturing
the look on his face

When I give him the report.

I'm afraid any further
probing is going to be fruitless.

Any time you want to
bring him out of this.

I mean, it's always
the same thing.

He'll look at me
over his glasses...

Give me one of his sighs.

Thing is, I've been working
in the squad room here

For five years now.

I've been a sergeant for two,

A-a-and he keeps treating me

Like I'm just out
of the academy.

I can stop him.

No, no, it's okay.

I mean, uh...

I always feel like barney
needs to talk down to my level,

Make some kind of
allowances for me,

Not like, uh...
Well, like dietrich.

Dietrich doesn't patronize you.

He talks to you

Like you can understand
what he's talking about.

A lot of the time I don't,

But that's just 'cause
dietrich's a smart person.

I think dietrich's
got more brains

Than the rest of
us put together.

I got to sit here and
take this garbage?

Getting back to harris...

Any time you're ready, doctor.

Ever since he wrote
his book, he acts like...

Sergeant...

I'm going to awaken
you in a moment.

Just relax and prepare yourself.

Oh, okay.

Listen, uh...

Before I bring him out of it,

Are there any
posthypnotic suggestions

You'd like me to give?

Yeah, I want to hear him cluck.

Sergeant... I'm going
to count to five.

On the count of five, I'm
going to snap my finger.

You will awaken.

You will recall none
of this conversation,

But you'll be fine
in every respect.

... ... ... ... .

Hey.

Sergeant.

How'd I do?

I'm afraid it wasn't
all that helpful.

Oh. I'm sorry.

I feel great.

Oh, well, then it was worth it.

Doctor, thank you for
coming down anyway.

If you don't mind, I just
want to jot down a few notes

On this session right now
while it's still fresh in my mind.

Certainly.

I'm writing a book, too.

Captain?

Yes?

I certainly enjoyed the séance,

But about mr. Emery?

I take it your firm is
prepared to press charges?

Well, unfortunately,
we may have to.

Go ahead! I'd love a trial!

Although, if mr. Emery
would promise to refrain

From any further activities

And agree to stop publicizing
his hopeless project,

Powerite might be persuaded

To leave the matter
at simple dismissal.

Forget it!

Or a raise in salary
might be arranged.

What kind of man are you?

You know what this
battery could do,

The energy it could provide,

The enormous boon
it could be for people.

You know all that,

And still you can do
what you're doing?

Regardless, I've got to be
getting back to the office,

And I'll just take these
crazy doodles along with me.

Certainly counselor is aware

These drawings are evidence.

Well, um...

We've decided not
to press charges.

Oh?

Don't you think the poor
man has suffered enough?

That's not going
to stop me, essex!

I've still got it all up here!

Now, do you really think
anyone in this industry

Would bankroll your madness?

Maybe not, but there are
other people out there,

People with courage and vision!

Best of luck.

Believe me, captain,

This battery is a
waste of energy.

The only thing it's good for

Is somebody else's tax shelter.

Hello!

Finished my notes.

Oh, well, thanks again.

If you want, we
could try once more

For the license number.

Hey, barn, I'll go under.

No, that's okay, wojo.

I think you've already
given us your best sh*t.

Goodbye, sergeant.

Yeah. So long.

Hopefully sergeant wojciehowicz
will remember on his own.

I hope so.

Well, goodbye, dr. Kramer.

Happy trails.

Don't get the chance
to say that too often.

You're free to go, mr. Emery.

Thank you very much.

- Mr. Emery.
- Yes, sergeant?

- I believe in you.
- Oh?

You know, mr. Emery,

I don't know a lot
about batteries,

But I do know a little
bit about people,

And I think you are a man

Who is well worth investing in.

I'm very flattered.

I'm sure my accountant

Could put together
an investment syndicate

Which would provide for
all the financial backing

You would ever require.

Sergeant... You
don't believe in me.

You don't believe in my battery.

I'm just a tax gimmick
to you, aren't i?

Oh, mr. Emery.

You expect to lose
your investment

And get a -to-
write-off, correct?

Yes, but no offense.

Sergeant, let me
tell you something.

I'm going to take your
money and build my battery

And make you a
millionaire in the process.

Oh?

I'm going to put you in
the % bracket, buddy.

I'll be in touch.

I have got to stop making money.

D-d-d-did I miss something
while I was "gone"?

Not really, no.

Well, I've been getting
all these strange looks

From people.

Have you?

Come on, you
guys. What did I say?

Well, as a matter of fact,

While recounting the
events of last evening,

You did, uh, include a
few personal remarks,

A few, uh, editorial
comments about each of us.

Hmm.

Oh.

Well, I'm sorry.

It's all right. We can take it.