01x02 - Hospital Sweet

[bunniefuu]

[gentle music]

♪ Camp Splinterwood ♪

♪ Our summer home ♪

[rock music]

♪ For catapultin! Slingshottin'!
Getting thrown! ♪

♪ Campers rocket through the trees ♪

♪ Cannonballing where they please ♪

♪ Zip'n in the air ♪

♪ Crashing everywhere ♪

♪ Archery, Dodgebird
Borb tennis -- it's absurd! ♪

♪ Here they come!
Red, Stella, b*mb, and Chuck ♪

♪ Flyin' fast
Look out, duck! ♪

♪ All your life you'll be glad
You had this ♪

♪ Angry Birds Summer Madness! ♪

[whimsical music]

Where's Chuck, already?

I want to get
this borb tennis game started.

Come on, Stella. We can't play doubles
with only three,

that's like math or something.

b*mb's right, and besides, what's
the one thing we never do to a friend?

Give them a feather wedgie?

But you do that to me all the time.

[chuckles] Yeah. I do.

No, we never leave a friend hanging.

Well, he's leaving us hanging.

I say we go find him and remind him
what we never do to a friend.

Uh, guys?

-Chuckles?
-Chuck? Chucky?

Hey, everyone.

Chuck. How did that happen?

Well, you know how people always
call me an airhead?

Well, I wanted to prove them wrong,
so I took a big rock--

No, we mean what's happening
in your mouth?

Oh, yeah.

But candy's not allowed at camp.

Yeah, I'm still having flashbacks
from the day we arrived.

Welcome to Camp Splinterwood.

Hand over the sweet stuff!

But-- But--

[Red whimpers]

I changed my mind. I want to go home.

This is nothing.

I get a piece of candy from Nurse Brenda's
jar every time I get an injury.

Say what now?

Just tell me I'll be able
to play basebird again.

I promised the hatchlings
I'd coach their little league.

We don't have a basebird field.

Exactly. So I clearly
have a serious head injury.

But it really, really hurts…

on the inside.

Whoa! Oof.

Well, of course, you can't see the blood.

Blood's red. I'm red,
but trust me, it's there.

Mm-mm. You think I can't tell

when someone's faking an injury
to get candy?

I'm a healthcare professional.

No, you're not. You're the lunch lady
in a different hat.

Shows what you know.

It's the same hat turned around.

Now see, here's a real injury.

What'll it be, Chucky? The usual?

Surprise me, B.

[all gasping]

[campers chattering]

[buzzing]

[fly screams]

So glad I saved you.

It's so unfair you get candy
just by being you.

It's so true.

How about we take turns
licking the lollipop?

Or, hey, wait, I got it.

What if-- bam-- I get myself hurt
to get you all candy?

Whoa.

Mind blown.

Easy, b*mb.

Chuck, as your dear, dear friend,

I can't, in good conscience,

allow you to do something
so reckless, irresponsible,

and frankly, just downright stupid.

Yeah, but candy, though.

Good point. I'm in.

Then let's get to it. Whoo-ee!

W-W-Whoa!

Good start.

[whistling]

Ah, what can I say? It's a gift.

A gift I'm honored to share.

[chuckles] Any newb can aim
for the bullseye,

only a pro knows how to aim--

Beyond!

-[shouts]
-[gasps]

A fresh caramel for my friend, b*mb.

A lot of folks don't know this,
but there's a real art to arts and crafts.

A lollipop for my friend, Red.

Uh, Chuck. That's not a lollipop.

Chuck, can I have a candy?

[campers chattering]

One for you. And one for you, too,
and you, three.

And one for you.

One for you. And one for you.
And you three!

[chattering]

Waahh! Ugh.

Ah, shucks, I'm only doing it for the love
of finally being loved by everyone.

[Red] Way to go, Chuck.

[b*mb] You da bird.

[giggles] Great day, Chuck.

Now what do you say tomorrow we finally
get in that game of borb tennis?

Hey, wait, I got a better idea.

What if-- bam-- I get myself hurt
to get you all candy?

[crashes]

How about we call it a day now,
huh, Chuck?

What day should we call it?
Oh, I know. Chuck's day.

Is it hot in here or is it just me?

I think I'm gonna go for a troll.

I mean, a stroll for some fresh pear--

Mmm. Pears.

Psst!

I hear they call you the candy man.

Did Chuck seem a little odd to you?

Yeah, classic Chuck.

This isn't classic Chuck.

He's out of his tiny bird brain.
We've gotta do something.

Hey, I just had the most brilliant idea.

Getting candy for just a few campers
was cool,

but imagine if I hurt myself
so spectacularly

I could get enough candy for everyone!

I don't know, Chuck. It sounds--

Awesome! Just imagine,
it would make me a legend.

My name in lights on the stall of fame.

Hey, a little privacy here.

[Stella]
Chuck, we think you have a problem.

[sighs] You're right.

My problem is
I've been thinking too small!

What I need is a device that will get me
so crazy injured,

Brenda will just give me
the whole candy jar.

I call it The Legend Maker…

Enough is enough, Chuck.
I think you need an injur-vention.

Yeah, it's time to hang up your bandages.

Please don't build the Legend Maker,
Chuck.

Don't worry, b*mb, I won't,
because I already did.

I give you the Legend Maker.

What with the sharpened spoons,

the giant cheese grater,
and carefully arranged gravel,

there isn't a single part of my body
that won't be smashed, crushed, or broken.

Oh. That looks ouchie.

You can't do this, Chuck.

You don't get it.

All my life I've been
laughed at for being a klutz,

but for the first time,
people love me for it.

Aw.

And what if I was put on this Earth
for this very purpose?

What if this is my destiny?

We know this means a lot to you,

but don't you think you're laying this on
a little thick?

I've got to say, I'm a little shocked

to hear you be so unsupportive
of your friend's endeavor.

Oh, I should have known this
was your idea, Neider jerk.

Of course it was. I mean,
Chuck comes up with dumb ideas,

but this is next level dumb.

Nothing dumb about getting me some candy.

Not this time, Neiderflyer.

Chuck's not going anywhere.

Uh, Red?

[dramatic music]

Ow! Ooh! Ow! Ooh!

Ugh.

[satellite beeping]

Ahh! Ugh.

We gotta stop him.

But how do we get up there?

Um, hello? We're birds. We'll fly.

Hello, Splinterwood. Who wants candy?

-Yeah!
-Whoo-hoo!

[cheering]

Then let's let Cluck know.

Cluck…

-Cluck, Cluck, Cluck…
-[crowd chanting]

-[whispering]
-I'm sorry. I'm being told it's Chuck.

Chuck! Chuck! Chuck!

[Red shouting]

Time to be immortalized on a filthy
bathroom stall door forever.

-[Stella] Chuck! No!
-[b*mb] Don't do it!

Oh, hey. What are you doing here?

We came to stop you from doing something
you'll regret for the rest of your life.

Which is going to be real short
if you go through with this.

Sure, but listen to all that love.

[crowd chanting "Chuck"]

I'd rather go out in a blaze of glory
and be remembered as a legend.

But you're already a legend to us.

I am?

Chuck, we are your bathroom stall.

[whimpers]

That's the sweetest thing
anyone's ever said to me.

You're right. What was I thinking?

Bring it in, cheeple.

Sorry, my bad.

[all shouting]

[grunting]

[crowd] Ooh!

[grunting, groaning continues]

Ow! Ow! Ow!

-[bell dings]
-[all coughing]

[gasping]

[screaming]

-[shouting]
-[electricity sizzling]

Oh!

Ooh! That's gonna leave a mark.

Thanks for stopping me
from making the worst mistake of my life.

I mean, seeing how painful it was
makes me so glad it didn't happen to me.

Hey, what are friends for, huh? Ow!

Well, at least we're gonna get candy.

Actually, Chuck completely wiped me out.

That's just a jar
full of brightly colored rocks.

[gulp]

Of course it is.