01x01 - The Bird! The Bird!/Neatness Counts

[bunniefuu]

Hey Paisanos,

it's the Super Mario Bros
Super Show!

♪ We're the Mario Brothers
and plumbing's our game ♪

♪ We're not like the others
who get all the fame ♪

♪ If your sink is in trouble
you can call us on the double ♪

♪ We're faster
than the others ♪

♪ You'll be hooked
on the brothers ♪

♪ Unh! ♪

♪ H-hooked on the brothers ♪

♪ Gimme gimme, gimme gimme ♪

♪ Yo, you're in for a treat,
so hang on to your seat ♪

♪ Get ready for adventure
and remarkable feats ♪

♪ You'll meet Koopas,
the Troopas ♪

♪ The Princess and the others,
hanging with the plumbers ♪

♪ You'll be hooked
on the brothers ♪

♪ To the brink! ♪

(♪♪♪)

♪ Unh! Unh! ♪

♪ I say h-h-h-h-hooked
on the brothers! ♪

♪ The brothers! ♪

♪ The brothers! ♪

(♪♪♪)

Time for a new day,
but as we always say,

neatness counts.

That's right Mario,
and by the way,

you have a little piece
of spaghetti on your overalls.

Oh, thank you, Luigi.

And you have a little bit
of spaghetti sauce

on your shirt, as usual.

Oh, really?
Your shoes are dirty.

And your socks don't match.

Yeah? You've got five cavities--

-NICOLE: Hello?
-Hello?

-I didn't say hello.
-Well, I didn't either.

NICOLE:
Well, I did. Over here.

-Hi, are you the Mario Brothers?
-MARIO: We sure are.

LUIGI:
Wow, you're Nicole Eggert.

We watch your show all the time.

Mario and I are
your biggest fans.

What are you doing
in the medicine cabinet?

Well, I'm checking
the expiration date

on your toothpaste.
It's very important.

-Can I come in?
-MARIO: Sure, come on in.

Nicole Eggert!

It says right here that you two
are the best plumbers

in Brooklyn
and quite possibly the world.

(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)

Yes, Nicole,
that is absolutely true.

Not only that,
but we are also very, very

neat and clean.

In fact,
what do we always say, Mario?

Hey, you slob.
That's my pizza.

No, no. No, neatness counts.

Oh, yeah.

Good, I need
my kitchen sink fixed.

You've certainly
come to the right place.

We'll demonstrate right now
just how good we are

with absolutely no obligation.

I really don't have much time.
See, I'm on my way to a party.

Well, this will only
take a second.

Hey. As you can see here,
we have a clogged sink.

And let me fix it for a second.
Luigi...

Dig in.

(GRUNTS)

(♪♪♪)

Hey, I'll do it.
You're stuck. I'll do it.

Look, I really should be going.

No, no. Wait, wait.

This will only take
a few seconds.

(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)

(GURGLING)

-(WHIRLING)
-(BOTH GRUNTS)

Uh-oh!

-Uh-oh!
-Uh-oh!

♪ Gimme yo, yo! ♪

♪ It's the Mario Brothers
and plumbing's their game ♪

♪ Found the secret warp zone
while working on the drain ♪

♪ Lend the princess a hand
in the Mushroom Land ♪

♪ Coming atcha
with the plumbers ♪

♪ You'll be hooked
on the brothers! ♪

♪ Now, Evil Koopa
and his Troopas ♪

♪ Are up to misbehaving ♪

♪ They kidnapped the princess ♪

♪ Mushroom Land needs saving ♪

♪ Abusing and confusing
everybody he discovers ♪

♪ They can't help
but be hooked on the brothers! ♪

♪ Unh! ♪

(♪♪♪)

MARIO:
Plumber's log number ,
the land of ice.

Me and my brother Luigi

had just rescued
Princess Toadstool

from King Koopa
and were looking for the magic

that would set her kingdom free,
and get us home to Brooklyn.

(THUDS, WHIRLS)

(THUDS)

(BIRD SQUAWKING)

Cheepy!
Oh, little Cheepy!

Hey, let me go!

I'm warning you, I get angsty.

(YELLS) Help!

Oh no, poor Toad!

Bring him back,
you dim-witted Birdo!

(♪♪♪)

PRINCESS:
Look, the Birdo took Toad
to the highest peak.

Please, Mario.
Toad saved my life times.

We've got to save his.

Don't worry, Princess.

Luigi and me
will climb that mountain

before you can say
spaghetti and meatballs.

I can't,
I'm allergic to mountains.

Okay, wait here.

And if you become lunch
for a polar bear,

don't blame us.

P-p-polar bear? Lunch?

(SCREAMS) Woah!

-Woah!
-(THUMPS)

(WINGS SQUEAKING)

(THUDS)

Cheepy,
my darling little Cheepy!

Give mommy a kiss.

(♪♪♪)

What are you trying to do,
you wacko bird?

Drown me?

Mommy missed her little Cheepy
so much.

Mommy? You're not my mommy.

Oh, you're such a jokester.

(WRIGGLE, GROANS)

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

Now, where did I put
that telephone?

Aha!

Hello?

Oh, it's the Missing
Bird Bureau.

You can call off the search
for my missing baby.

I found my little sweetums.

(GRUNTS)

It was a terrible picture
of you anyway, little Cheepy.

I'm not your little Cheepy.

Oh, Cheepy.

Quit kidding around
and give mummy a hug.

-No.
-(THUDS)

Oh, this is a fun game.

Kissums, kissums,
kissums are a-coming.

I've gotta get out of here.

(♪♪♪)

-(RUMBLING)
-(ALL EXCLAIMS) Huh?

(THUDS)

Oh, no!
We'll never save Toad now.

(SOBBING)

LUIGI:
He was the nicest little fungus
I ever knew.

Luigi, we can't quit now.
Remember the plumber's motto.

Who could forget?

Don't take chances
or you'll go down the drain.

No, when the pipe is plugged,
keep plunging.

Pasta power!

(♪♪♪)

Come on, Princess.
You can do it too.

Pasta Power!

(♪♪♪)

(GULPS) Mama mia!

(♪♪♪)

Whoa!

-Phew!
-See?

I told you
we'd be perfectly safe.

It's them, Princess Toadstool
and those two faucet freaks.

Come on, Flaky.

Let's tell King Koopa,

so we can put them on ice
for good.

(♪♪♪)

Well, as last
you two powder puffs

did something right!

FLURRY:
Thank you, Your extremist,
most royal and regal Koopaness.

Watch it, soldier.

When I want my feet licked,
I'll ask for it.

I want my feet licked.

(BOTH SLURPING)

This will be the last time
those pinhead plumbers

throw a monkey wrench
into my evil plans.

(LAUGHS)

Attention, Koopa Troopers.

It's air raid time.

Rock-a-bye, little Cheepy,
on the mountain so high.

If you get lost again,
your mommy will cry.

I can't be
your little Cheepy, lady.

I don't have wings.

Look, no wings, no feathers.

I'm just a mushroom
that can't stand heights.

Oh Cheepy,
you're such a teaser.

(KISSES)

(TOAD GRUNTS)

Cuckoo, Cuckoo...

I almost forget.

It's time
for your flying lessons.

Flying lessons?
Are you out of your mind?

(♪♪♪)

PRINCESS:
I just hope we can reach Toad

before something terrible
happens to him.

Or to us.

Cheer up, Luigi.
It could be worse!

Worse? How could it be worse?

LUIGI:
M-M-Mario!

It's a Bob-omb!

And I was hoping
for a nice Salami sandwich!

(♪♪♪)

Oh, no!
King Koopa must have found us.

Look out!

Here comes a whole squadron
of King Koopa's Bob-ombers.

(SOARING)

(ALL GRUNTS)

-Good going, guys!
-Not good enough.

Those other Albatross
are up to something.

(ALL GRUNTS)

It's an avalanche!
Let's get out of here.

I hate to run
on an empty stomach.

(♪♪♪)

(ALL SCREAMS)

(BOTH GRUNTS)

Whoa!

We're trapped.

Now, how do we save Toad?

You're not listening, lady.
I don't want flying lessons.

Mommy knows best, little Cheepy.

Look lady,
I've got ten gold coins.

They're yours
if you just let me go.

I'll let you go, sweetums.
At , feet.

(GASPS)

-(GRUNTS)
-Look, a Fire Flower.

I'm hungry enough
to eat anything.

No, it's magic.

If you can reach it,
you can become a Super Mario

and get special fire power

that can destroy King Koopa's
evil Albas.

That's easy.
Come on, Luigi.

Patty-cake,
patty-cake, pasta man.

Give me pasta power
as fast as you can.

Pasta power!

(♪♪♪)

I love when that happens.

(♪♪♪)

Follow me!

For badness below and behind
the call of cruelty,

I, the devious King Koopa,

bestow these medals
of the double cross.

We have important news,
your royal Koopaness.

The princess and her plumbers
survived the avalanche.

They what?
You bumbling beasties blew it.

(YELLS)

I'll have to lead
the next att*ck myself.

I'd pay $ for a nice
pepperoni cheesecake right now.

(SQUAWKING)

Who called me cheap?
I'll pay $ .

Look.

LUIGI:
What is that thing?

It's a baby Birdo, Luigi.

And it needs our help.
It's frozen inside the ice.

Stand back!

(WHIMPERS) Mommy.
Little Cheepy want mommy.

Do you think his mommy
is the one who took Toad?

Here we are, little Cheepy.

, feet.

Now, mummy will let you fly.

Happy landings!

(SCREAMS) Lady, I'm not a bird!

The least that featherbrain
could have done

is lend me a parachute.

Hey, that's it.
A parachute!

(FIRE CRACKLING)

(THUDS)

Toad! Are you alright?

I feel great.

I just passed
my first flying lesson.

Hey, it's me!
I mean, him!

It's little Cheepy,
the Birdo's real lost baby.

CHEEPY:
Little Cheepy want his mommy!

Toad, do you know
where his mommy is?

Oh no,
I'm not going back up there.

Never!

(CRIES)

Mommy, I want my mommy!

Okay, okay.

Maybe if I take you back,
she'll leave me alone.

MARIO:
Start climbing, Piezano.

We'll stay here
and keep King Koopa occupied.

(GASPS) King Koopa?

Where?

(SKI WHIRRING)

(♪♪♪)

Hey, Super Mario,
super cook their goose.

Super Trooper pack, att*ck!

Put out that
super plumber's fire.

(♪♪♪)

Don't worry, Mario.

We'll b*at them
without super powers.

It's too late, Princess.
They've got us surrounded.

(LAUGHS) It's all over,
scum scrubbers.

-(THUMPS)
-(SQUAWKS)

Who threw that vegetable?

We did!

(SQUAWKS)

Retreat! Retreat!

(HUMS, KISSES)

Come on, sweeties.

We've got to make the world safe
for little Cheepy.

Let's get those insects.

When I told her
how you'd rescued her baby,

she wanted to help.

(♪♪♪)

I'll be back!

You haven't heard the last
of King Koopa.

Thanks lady, we couldn't have
done it without you.

You saved my little Cheepy.

Would you like to come
for dinner?

Dinner? That's the best news
I've heard in days.

I cooked this
just for you, Mario.

My favourite recipe.

My favourite dish, spaghetti!

Spaghetti?
We're not spaghetti.

We're worms.

-Worms?
-Worms?

(ALL SCREAMS)

I've never been so insulted
in my whole life.

Oh Nicole, I'm so sorry.

This has never,
ever happened before.

Oh, yeah?

What about the time
when we drenched the mail man?

Oh, no! Don't sit. (LAUGHS)

Why don't you come up here

and stay by the furnace
where it's nice and warm?

It will dry you off.
I'll move the cake.

(SNEEZES)

(♪♪♪)

MARIO:
Oh, I'm sorry.
It does that once in a while.

Oh! Oh Nicole, this is terrible.

Come over here.

-Aha!
-Oh, no.

Oh!

Oh, your foot's
having a birthday.

This is terrible.
Come over here.

Oh gosh, this is terrible.

Have a seat.

Oh! Oh, no!

Stand over here.

I'll get the chair cleaned.

(OBJECTS CLATTER)

This is terrible.

Yes, but somehow on her
it looks good.

What are you looking for?

Something to clean
Nicole up with.

-Here you go.
-Lint brush?

Any more good ideas?

How about showing us some scenes
from the next Legend of Zelda.

Good idea.

(♪♪♪)

This is the Triforce of Wisdom,
Link.

The evil wizard Ganon
has the Triforce of Power.

(GANON LAUGHING)

ZELDA:
Whoever gets both Triforces
will rule this land forever.

You must help me, Link.

Hey, for you Zelda, anything.

-(SHATTERS)
-(GRUNTS)

(GROWLS)

Move it, you boneheads.
Get us out of here!

Whoa, toasty!

(GROANS)

LINK:
Eat dirt, Ganon.

(GROANS) Get them, now!

(SCREAMING)

ZELDA:
Ow!

Nice job, hero.

Hey, excuse me, princess.

(♪♪♪)

MARIO:
We'll pay for everything.

No, don't worry about it.

Oh please, Nicole.

We'll do all your plumbing
for free.

No, really, it's okay.

We'll make you free pizza.

Yes, we'll wash your clothes.

We can brush your teeth.

Boys, I told you
not to worry about it.

See actually, this is perfect.

It is?

Yeah, remember I was telling you
I was going to a party?

-Yes.
-Well, it's a sloppy party.

See, the person
who dresses the sloppiest wins.

You saved me a trip
of picking up a costume.

The sloppier the better.

-Really?
-Really?

Really!

Well, in that case!

Yeah!
-(CHEERS)

This is fun!

(ALL LAUGHS)

Woo-hoo!

Until next time, everybody.

-Do the Mario!
-Do the Mario!

(♪♪♪)

♪ Do the Mario! ♪

♪ Swing your arms
from side to side ♪

♪ Come on, it's time to go ♪

♪ Do the Mario ♪

♪ Take one step and then again,
let's do the Mario ♪

♪ All together now ♪

♪ You got it ♪

♪ It's the Mario ♪

♪ Do the Mario! ♪

♪ Swing your arms
from side to side ♪

♪ Come on, it's time to go ♪

♪ Do the Mario ♪

♪ Take one step and then again,
let's do the Mario ♪

♪ Altogether now ♪

♪ Come on now,
just like that ♪