02x15 - Crash Course

[bunniefuu]

[whistling]

♪ Camp Splinterwood
Our summer home ♪

[driving rock music]

♪ For catapulting!
Slingshotting! Getting thrown! ♪

♪ Campers rocket through the trees ♪

♪ Cannonballing where they please ♪

♪ Zipping in the air ♪

♪ Crashing everywhere ♪

♪ Archery, dodge-bird, Borb tennis ♪

♪ It's absurd! ♪

♪ Here they come!
Red, Stella, b*mb, and Chuck ♪

♪ Flying fast
Look out, duck! ♪

♪ All your life you'll be glad
You had this ♪

♪ Angry Birds Summer Madness! ♪

[campers laughing and hooting]

[starting light dings and rings]

[campers cheering]

-Whee!
-Yeah!

-[Chuck laughing]
-Whee!

-Bye-bye, birdie!
-Unh!

[Chuck laughing and hooting]

You think you can catch Chuck?

Think again-- Whoa!

-[groans] Beep, beep!
-[steering wheel honks]

[Stella] Yo, Neiderjerk!

Why don't you pick on
someone your own speed?

Ha ha! Sayonara, sister!

[Stella yelling]

Last bird standing. Again. Yay, me!

[screaming] Oof! Ohh! Ohh!

Oh, man!

Let me guess.

Neiderjerk crushed everyone
and now he's gloating about it.

None of us can b*at him.

If only you could get on that course,
maybe you could do it.

Yeah. I wish I didn't have
this stupid medical condition.

Oh, hey there, Rod. How come
you're never in the demolition park?

You know, I've smashed everyone
in this camp except you.

'Cause Red passes out
if he sees a spinning wheel.

Yeah, dorkus. It's called wheelitis.

Wheelitis? Heh!

You totally just made that up.

I think Rod's a big chicken
and he's too afraid to face me.

[clucking like chicken]

Grr! That's it, Neiderjerk!
We'll see who's chicken!

You and me, birdo a birdo.

I'm gonna smash you
and your dumb car into next week!

Ooh! I'm shaking
in my designer goggles.

See you on the course, Rod!

-Grr!
-Are you crazy? You have wheelitis!

You can't even look at a wheel
without falling on your face!

Yeah, but nobody calls me a chicken!

[Chuck] Honk honk! Hey, g*ng!

Check it out!
I found this cool nose ring!

[moaning]

-[Red snoring]
-Why is Red asleep?

[narrator on TV] What is wheelitis?

This is Phil.

Phil suffers from a debilitating condition
called wheelitis.

Just the sight of a spinning wheel
causes him to become nauseous,

dizzy, and eventually unconscious.

[objects clatter]

[sobbing] Oh, Red! I had no idea
what you were going through!

So now all we gotta do
is cure Red of his wheelitis,

and then he can totally crush Neiderflyer!

-Right, Red?
-[snoring]

Maybe we should think
about getting him a helmet.

All right! Dr. Chuck has
the perfect prescription to cure you.

The only way to fight the wheel
is to be the wheel.

Now we're just gonna
ease you into this nice and slow.

[Red screaming]

[snoring]

[all yelp]

-[campers shouting]
-[objects crashing]

[snoring continues]

Oh, good. He's off the wheel.

Wow! His form was perfect.

Yeah, he's pretty agile
when he's unconscious.

-Ahem!
-I mean, uh, sorry.

[Red gasps]

What happened?
And how did I get in the lake?

Don't worry! Dr. Chuck has another idea!

Hypnotism?

Hyp-yes-tism!
Let's keep it positive, shall we?

-Ugh!
-Actually, that's not a terrible idea.

You're not seriously
gonna trust your brain to Chuck?

I have to wipe that smug grin
off Neiderjerk's beak.

Okay, Chuck. Do your thing.
Just don't make me do anything weird.

Don't worry, I'm a doctor.
Just follow the swingy thingy.

You're getting sleepy,
sleepier, even sleepier-er.

When I clap my wings,
you'll be completely under my control.

Red, you're the strongest bird
who ever lived! Tear the book in two!

Hey, I was reading that!

Red, you are an expert yodeler!

[yodeling]

And you also happen
to be a champion juggler.

Ugh! Chuck! We're trying
to cure Red of wheelitis, remember?

What-itis? Oh, right. My bad.

Okay, just watch the swingy thingy.

You're going deep
into the dark, chocolatey,

nougaty, peanut-filled center of--

Chuck!

[Terence grunting]

Whoopsie! Heh!

I'm not gonna be able to do it
without the thingy.

Great. That's just great.

What happened? Am I cured?

No, but you are out of time.

Wait! I got one more idea!

Uh, Chuck, you don't have
any more of that candy, do you?

How am I gonna drive
when I still have wheelitis?

And why do I have
an overwhelming urge to yodel?

-[b*mb mutters]
-All right, Red. Close your eyes!

And open them!

[Red gasps]

Hey, I'm not passing out! What is that?

It's how you're gonna b*at Neiderflyer.
The wheels are octagons!

And the steering wheel
is a steering triangle,

all thanks to Penley.

[Penley oinks]

And just as an extra precaution,
we're gonna blindfold you.

-Don't you think this is a bit much?
-Yeah, totally.

But don't worry, I'll be your eyes.

Time to go!

-He's gonna get creamed, isn't he?
-Oh, yeah!

Just like the creamy,
chocolatey goodness of this!

Where do you keep getting those?

That's it. Make it nice and shiny.

I want to make sure Rod can see
his loser face in it when I clobber him.

Where is he anyway?

Prepare to be crunched
into oblivion, Neiderjerk!

With what? That monstrosity? Heh!

I'm, uh, over here, by the way.

[starting light dings and rings]

Just do what I tell you.
And remember, no peeking.

Easier said than done!

[Red laughs]

Red, turn right!

Grr! Aah!

[b*mb grunts]

Yawn! One down. Four to go.

Whoa!

Boring. Two down. Blah, blah, blah.

-[campers] Boo!
-Yeah!

Mwah!

It's so much fun being me.

-What's happening? Am I winning?
-Neiderflyer's crushed everyone!

He's right beside you!

Turn left!

[Red yelping]

[Red grunts]

[Stella] All right, Red. Just stay ahead
of him and you should be fine.

Time to have a little fun.

[cannon whirring]

What was that noise?

-Oh, no.
-I can't look!

Ow! Ooh! Ow!

[Red screaming]

[Red grunting]

Stella, what do we do?

Everything we think of,
Neiderflyer has an answer for!

Ha ha ha!

Then don't think! You've gotta
shut off your brain and just do!

[Red] Don't think?

Just shut off my brain?

I know how to do that!

Red, what are you--?

[moaning and snoring]

What the--?

Oh! You dented my beautiful cart!

Ugh! That's it! No more Mr. Dashing,
Debonair, Suave, Handsome--

Wait, where was I? Oh, right.

Smash Red!

[snickers]

[Red snoring]

[Neiderflyer laughs]

Oh, man.

-[Red mutters]
-What the-- Whoa!

I told you he was agile
when he's unconscious.

[yelping]

[Neiderflyer yelling]

Aah! Oof!

-Whew!
-[wood creaking]

[screaming]

My cart! My beautiful--

Red! You did it!

Wha-- What happened?

You b*at Neiderflyer!

You crunched him into oblivion!

Kind of like the crispy crunchiness
of this %--

I did it? I did it!

Great job, Red!

All right!
Whoo-hoo-hoo!

[Red yodeling]

[theme music playing]