03x03 - Hollow-Weenie

[bunniefuu]

-[Mighty Eagle whistles]
-[campers laughing]

♪ Camp Splinterwood
Our summer home ♪

[rock melody]

♪ For catapulting!
Slingshotting! Getting thrown! ♪

♪ Campers rocket through the trees ♪

♪ Cannonballing where they please ♪

♪ Zipping in the air ♪

♪ Crashing everywhere ♪

♪ Archery, dodge-bird, Borb tennis ♪

♪ It's absurd! ♪

♪ Here they come!
Red, Stella, b*mb, and Chuck ♪

♪ Flying fast
Look out, duck! ♪

♪ All your life you'll be glad
you had this ♪

♪ Angry Birds Summer Madness! ♪

[Mighty Eagle singing]

[guitar strumming)

Oh yeah!

[Chuck singing]

All right, Mighty Eagle!

[Mighty Eagle singing]

Good night, Camp Splinterwood.

Okay... A little off-topic
for Fire Circle, but...

This isn't the talent show?

That was last week.

And you'd would know that if you hadn't
slept through it wearing these.

Oh, sweet. I've been looking for those.

All right, now. Fire Circle.

The scariest, spookiest night
at Camp Splinterwood.

Now who dares tell the tale
of our very own monster?

The Hollow-Weenie!

[dramatic music]

[birds screaming]

Pick me!

It's too bad Red's not here. Again.

Please. Everyone knows
Rod never comes to Fire Circle.

He's too scared of the Hollow-Weenie.

How dare you say that about my friend?

I mean, you're not wrong.
But still, how dare you?

We're supposed to read these
prepared statements from Red, remember?

"Red will not be attending
the Fire Circle,

not because he's afraid
of the Hollow-Weenie,

but because he prefers to...

appreciate a more refined and..."

Boy, Red has the worst handwriting.

"Sophisticated."

"...sophisticated art form."

Wait. That looks a-peeling.

[chuckles]

[birds laugh]

A-peeling!

Chuck, it's your chance
to lay down the scare, dude.

Yes!

Hold on to your butt feathers
'cause it's time for...

the Hollow-Weenie!

Please. The Hollow-Weenie doesn't exist.

Shows what you know.

It was a Fire Circle night,
just like this one.

And a full moon, just like this one.

And on that night, those campers
had their lives changed forever.

And not in a good way.

They were telling a scary story
around the fire, just like I am now,

when...

[ominous music]

[birds screaming]

they were getting ready to roast weenies.

It was a perfect summer evening,
or so it seemed.

Because an acrid smell
hung in the air around the campers.

Were the weenies making them gassy?

No. Little did they know,

a horrible, hideous, totally cool monster
with giant fangs and leathery skin

had done something unspeakable.

[hotdog explodes]

The Hollow-Weenie had sucked
the hot dogs' insides out!

[birds screaming]

All the weenies were hollow!

My weenie!

Sometimes, when it's real quiet,

they say you can still hear
the snarling of the hideous beast.

[birds exclaiming]

[birds screaming]

[coughing]

Wiener time.

[all cheering]

Wieners!

Camp directors first!

What's this?

[hot dogs exploding]

[all yelling]

What happened to the hot dogs?

It's hollow. They're all hollow!

The Hollow-Weenie has returned!

[birds screaming]

I don't get paid enough for this.

Calm down, everyone. No need to panic.

This feels like the perfect time to panic!

[expl*si*n]

The Hollow-Weenie?
There's no such thing as monsters.

There has to be a perfectly
rational explanation.

Indeed there is.

Rod!

[ominous music]

Red didn't do this.

Yeah! He's been watching cartoons
with the Hatchlings all night.

I mean, doing mature, sophisticated stuff.

That little twerp's been
a thorn in my talons all summer.

I'm deputizing you
to bring him into custody!

What? Him?

And I'm deputizing you bozos
to be sub-deputies to the deputy.

Do we get badges?

No.

[sighs]

Let's go find Rod
and give him the good news.

I can't wait to slingshot
that little nuisance home.

This is total birdfeed.

We gotta warn Red!

[both screaming]

Hey, I was watching that!

Kiss your cartoons goodbye!
It's time to pack it up and go home!

[all crying]

Sorry!

I'm a fugitive?

But I didn't hollow any weenies.

Well, everyone thinks you did.

And Lynette has been itching
to kick you out of camp all summer.

What? She can't kick me out
for something I didn't even do.

We have to clear your name.

Exactly.

Now we just got to figure out how.

Easy. We find the real culprit.

Dramatic pause.

The Hollow-Weenie!

What? No! There's got to be another way.

[exclaims]

I'll have to go with Red and say...

[expl*si*n]

Come on! How cool is it gonna be

when we take down
an actual real-life monster?

I got it all planned out.

I'll befriend it,
get it to see what a cool guy I am,

take some selfies with it,

and then bam,
hit him with this confession to sign!

You're in the clear,
and me and the Hollow-Weenie are BFFs.

I hate to say it, but Chuck's right.

Of all the terrifying, horrible,

nightmare-inducing ways
to prove my innocence,

it just had to be the Hollow-Weenie!

[thunder]

Okay, that's a little much.

Explain to me why I have a cabin full
of traumatized Hatchlings and no Red!

Because you have
terrible managerial skills?

[laughing]

We can't find Rod.
It's like he's disappeared.

Then make him un-disappear,
or I'll have your badges!

-Actually, you didn't give us badges.
-Get out!

[all screaming]

[dramatic music]

Here, Weenie!

This isn't scary.

[screaming]

Okay, now it's scary!

What was that?

Someone screaming in agony!
Isn't it awesome?

I meant awesome like "totally not good,
and we should investigate."

[screaming]

[groaning]

Oh no!

Harold!

-The Hollow-Weenie must've got him!
-You think it's still here?

I really hope not.
But either way, we gotta do something.

[all screaming]

We're too late.

The Hollow-Weenie
turned his guts inside out!

[all screaming]

Oh, hi, kids.

[all screaming]

Harold! Your guts are hanging out!

What, this?

[all screaming]

No! No, that's my world-famous cherry pie.

Just a bit of a messy eater.

We heard screaming!
Was it the Hollow-Weenie?

Oh, heavens no. That was just me.

Usually, after a tough day,
I come and drown my sorrows in pie.

Well, we're just glad you're okay.

Actually, I'm not okay.
I'm out here crying into my pie!

Bet you're wondering why.

No, not really.

Well, it's a long story.

Okay, then.

Lynette and I were practically
Hatchlings when we met.

I remember it like it was yesterday.

She was quite a looker
back then, I tell ya.

Hollow-Weenie?

Worse. Neiderjerk.

We got to go!

We can't leave Harold like this.

That image is b*rned into my mind,
as much as I try to forget it.

That's a great story, Harold!
And you know who loves a great story?

Neiderflyer!

It just so happens he's on his way here!

Yeah. He might act like he hates it,
but he lives for this kind of stuff.

So make sure you share
every single detail with him.

Okey dokey. Will do! Thanks!

Harold? Where's Rod?

Why don't I start at the beginning?

When Lynette and I first met,
many years ago...

[ominous music]

That was a close one.

[grunting]

[screaming]

[tormented scream]

What's that?

It sounds like the tormented screams
of a disgruntled and misunderstood beast.

That's oddly specific.

[all sniff and grunt]

And it smells terrible.

The Hollow-Weenie!

[ominous music]

[gulps]

This isn't scary.

Stop saying that.

[ominous music]

[exclaims]

[ominous music]

b*mb? Stella? Chuck?

[faint screams]

[screaming]

The Hollow-Weenie!

-You're alive!
-Of course we are.

-We've gotta get out of here!
-What, and miss the show?

The show?

Just look, dummy.

[crowd cheering]

[rock music playing]

What is this place?

I don't know, but I kind of love it.

I was right.

I did hear the demented screams
of a disgruntled and misunderstood beast.

♪ Oh yeah! ♪

It's Brenda!

♪ I make the food!
And there are no rules! ♪

♪ No one knows what I'm going through! ♪

[laughing]

♪ Cafeteria girl! ♪

♪ Cafeteria girl! ♪

[rock music playing]

[coughing]

Chuck?

Chuck, this is awesome!
Why aren't you dancing?

Usually, I'd be all for secret

and implausible punk rock clubs
in the woods,

but I really thought
we were gonna find the Hollow-Weenie.

We've got company.

[grunting]

There they are!

Come on!

Let's go!

[grunting]

[grunts]

Gotcha!

Oh, hi.

Quick! Over there!

[exclaims]

[exclaims]

Try to blend in!

Can I borrow that?

-Mind if I just...
-Watch it!

Thank you.

Sweet!

[laughing]

Guys, we don't have time for this!

Sweet do.

Guess you already fit in.

-Check over there!
-Split up!

[rock music playing]

I give up.

[stammering

Nice try.

Gotcha!

[screaming]

Rod!

♪ Cafeteria girl! ♪

♪ Cafeteria girl! ♪

[music stops]

[crowd booing]

You're on stage. You have to sing.

[gulps]

Well, this ought to be good.

[gulps]

[guitar strums]

♪ Thought it was a monster ♪

[rock music playing]

♪ It's my fear I gotta conquer! ♪

♪ And now I'm at a concert ♪

♪ Gotta find the Hollow-Weenie ♪

♪ Avoid a real meanie ♪

♪ I gotta find the Hollow-Weenie ♪

♪ Avoid a real meanie ♪

[rock music playing]

Uh-oh. I gotta go!

[grunts]

[grunts]

[laughing]

[all moaning]

Encore!

Am I going completely bonkers,
or are you back here without Red again?!

[mumbling]

What?! I can't hear a word you're saying!
The music was so loud!

There were punks, spiky hair,

and someone on stage
that looked a lot like Brenda.

I don't want excuses! I want results!

If you don't come back with Red,
I'm taking your badges!

I hate to bring this up again,
but you never actually gave us our badges.

Oh, didn't I? Terribly sorry.

Here you go.

No badges for you!

[all sobbing]

[eerie music]

Hey, you okay?

It's just I'm starting to think
I'm never going to meet the Hollow-Weenie.

And Red's gonna get kicked out of camp.

Yeah, that too.

Hey, is it just me,
or does the air smell acrid?

[sniffing]

Yeah. And am I the only one who suddenly
has a really bad feeling about this?

Look! The Hollow-Weenie is probably
in that super weird and creepy cave.

You guys don't have to try
and cheer me up.

Chuck, even if we never find
the Hollow-Weenie,

you taught me
a really great lesson tonight.

I did?

I've been afraid of the Hollow-Weenie
since I was a Hatchling,

but I've learned, if you face your fear,

it's never as scary
as you think it's gonna be.

The worst part
of being afraid is being afraid.

Which is why I'm doing... this!

[cheering and laughing]

[screaming]

Forget everything I just said!

[menacing chuckle]

[screaming]

[all exclaiming]

The Hollow-Weenie!

[all screaming]

I hate to bother you,

but I need you to sign this confession
proving Red's innocence.

[scary growl]

Wait! Wait! Can I also get
a quick selfie with you?

[panting]

Where are you, guys?

Gotcha!

Come on, Rod. You've got
a one-way ticket to Outta-Here's-Ville.

No time, Neiderjerk. The Hollow-Weenie
is right on our tail feathers!

Please. You think
I'm going to fall for that?

I'm the one
who hollowed out the weenies, dork.

You did what?!

And now you'll get kicked out of camp.
And I'm gonna laugh, and laugh, and laugh.

[all screaming]

Hey, wait!

You're going to miss my glorious victory!

No badge is worth this!

[all screaming]

Hey! I am still the deputy around here!

And as my sub-deputies,
I command you to come...

Mother!

[Red panting]

[loud growling and thunder]

[Neiderflyer screaming]

Oh, man. Neiderflyer is so lucky.

[grunting and growling]

What are you doing?

No idea.

Chuck, follow me.

[dramatic music]

[grunting]

[Red grunting]

I could bring you some Hatchlings.
They're way more delicious than I am.

[growling]

Hey! Neiderflyer!

I can get you out of here.

Yes. Anything. Anything!

Just sign this confession.

Chuck, time to get your selfie.

This is it!

[growling]

[Chuck cheering]

All right! Give me a weenie face!

This is the greatest moment of my life!

[all screaming]

[Hollow-Weenie grunting]

After last night, I really
couldn't handle another Fire Circle.

Yeah, this is actually kind of fun.

I told you.

Plus what's more entertaining
than watching Neiderflyer squirm?

At least we finally got our badges.

That says "janitor."

Awesome!

Boy, I guess banana really had to split.

He also had to leave in a hurry.

[all laughing]

[campfire music]

And that, my friends, is the tale
of how I met my new BFF, Cornelius.

[growling and screaming]

Weenie face!

[upbeat music]

[laughing]

...and we had a pool.

We enjoyed that tremendously.

Just dip our feathers in there,
and it cooled right down.

[theme music playing]