01x02 - Normal Boy/Birth of a Salesman

[bunniefuu]

Gotta Blast!

♪ here to the stars
fueled by candy bars ♪

♪ Rides a kid with a knack
for invention ♪

( gasps )

♪ With super-powered mind,
a mechanical canine ♪

( barks )

♪ He rescues the day
from sure destruction... ♪

Help!

♪ ...This is the theme song ♪

( screams )

♪ For Jimmy Neutron. ♪

( mechanical whirring )

( barking )

( yells )

Jimmy, what
are you doing?

What is that thing?

Mom, I give you
the Juice-Bot 3000.

Get ready for fresh-squeezed OJ
at the speed of sound.

Oh, Jimmy, perhaps you should
get your father to help you.

No sausage fort is strong enough
to withstand the infinite power

of Johnny Waffle
and his sidekick Baco-Boy.

( barking )

Maybe I'll help you...
o-or better yet

there's a brand-new
carton of juice
in the refrigerator.

Now, now, you can't b*at the
savory zing of fresh-squeezed.

Go ahead, fire it up, Jimbo.

You got it, Dad.

Initiate juice sequence.

( motor chugging softly )

( clanks )

( electrical zapping )

( barking )

Look out!
She's going to blow!

( all yelling )

Jimmy, turn this thing off!

Watch out!

Baco-Boy!

( mother shrieking )

Gone.

He gave his life for ours.

We'll miss you, Johnny Waffle.

Uh, see? I-It worked.

My kitchen is ruined!

Well, I'll clean it up, Mom.
I promise.

I'll invent a Robo-Maid

and-and program her
to use a vacuum and the br...

I've had enough of
your inventions for
one day, young man.

But-But...

Now, you just march
yourself off to school.

But, Mom...

I said... "March."

I'm going.

Honestly, Jimmy

sometimes I wish you weren't
such a little genius.

I disarmed your particle beam,
Robo-Fiend.

You have no choice
but to surrender!

Take that, Ultra-Horror!

Don't make me pinch you!

"D-Don't make me pinch you"?

You know what? I don't think
you're ready for this.

These are intergalactic
warriors, you know.

So? Pinching still hurts.

No, it doesn't.

Ow!

( chuckling ):
Told you.

Oh, hey, Jim.

COMPUTER VOICE:
Identity verified.

You okay, Jimmy?

'Cause, you know,
you look kind of down.

Oh, Carl,
it's just that sometimes

it's a heavy burden
being a man of science.

I know what you mean,
Jimmy.

That's why I decided
early on

to sabotage
my highly scientific mind

with cartoons and sugar.

I guess it's too late for me...
but can't I get just one day

where being a genius doesn't
mess up my whole life?

( laughing )

Talk about kismet!

Jimmy, this is
your lucky day

'cause after everyone
gets a load of my
science project...

there's going to be
a new genius in town.

( snorts )

MISS FOWL:
A hot dog holder?

Actually,
the Hot Dog Holder Deluxe

also known
as the Versa-Bun.

It not only holds hot dogs,
it is also a stylish hat

a butterfly with fat wings

a comfy seat cushion
at your favorite sporting event

and as quickly as you see it
right before your very eyes

( gulping ):
it's gone!

( mouth full ):
Ooh... what happened
to the Hot Dog Holder Deluxe?

I see.
( clucks )

Maybe next time
you can team up with Jimmy.

Well, thank you,
Miss Fowl.

I would be more than
happy to give my
good friend a hand.

And what do you have to share
with us today?

( clucking )

Oh, it's nothing, really.

It's just
a magnetic polarity TV tray.

See, the magnets
in the tray repel

against the magnets
in the plates

suspending them in midair.

Sweet Mother Machree!

Look, class.
( clucking )

The plates are floating.

LIBBY:
Jimmy!
Dude...

He does it again!

Why do we even bother?

Wait a minute.

I don't give up.

My science project is
just as good as Neutron's.

See? It's a papier-mâché model
of Mount Vesuvius

and when I squeeze this pump

chocolate sauce lava engulfs
the gumdrop citizens of Pompeii.

Look, Cindy,
Jimmy's plates are floating.

Oh... Neutron, why don't
you just go to college
and leave us all alone?

OTHERS:
Yeah.

You're making us
look bad, Neutron.

Good news, everyone.

Jimmy Neutron's state
test scores were the highest

in world history.

( school bell ringing )

Okay, time for recess.

No one go near Jimmy's head!

( whispering ):
That's precious cargo.

I liked your project,
Libby.

Ah! Talk to the skull.

Oh... what's the point
of being smart

if it just makes me miserable?

Hey... that's it!

Excuse me, kid,
I got to change the bulb.

JIMMY:
Gentlemen, I give you
the Brain-Drain 8000

the same dumbing-down technology
used by top radio personalities.

Oh... put it on,
Jimmy! Put it on!

Hey, hold the phone, Jimmy.

Maybe you shouldn't
drain your brain.

Aw, being smart gets me
nothing but trouble, Carl.

I just want an average, ordinary

nothing-special brain...
like you guys.

But what if
you don't like it?

No problem.

Then I just reverse
the polarity

of the electron counterbalances
in the helmet

and get smart
all over again.

Yeah, Carl, all he's
got to do is revert
the polar-berries

to the c-cranberry
electronic power
to... persons.

Turn it on!
Turn it on!

Initialize brain drain.

( zapping )

( machine whining )

SHEEN:
Wow... look at him.

He looks so...
so similar.

Aw, that's okay, Jim.

There's always
next time.

JIMMY:
Shiny.

Shiny!

I like shiny.

It worked!
It worked!

Hey, have you guys seen
my loopy dance?

♪ I'm loopy, I'm loopy ♪

♪ I'm loopy,
loopy, loopy... ♪

Uh... Normal Jimmy seems
kind of stupid.

Yeah, he's
pretty messed up.

♪ Loopy, loopy... ♪

I like him!
Me, too.

Can we keep him?

( birds chirping )

( laughing )

( snickering )

I got your nose.

( shrieks )

My nose! My nose!

Give him his nose back,
Sheen!

( crickets chirping )

ALL:
♪ We're loopy, we're loopy ♪

♪ We're loopy, loopy, loopy. ♪

Okay, who can tell me
the square root of 144?

( clucks )

I know!

Eleventy-six.

Well, no.
I'm sorry.

That's wrong.

( classmates gasping )

Cindy?

12.

That's right. ( clucks )

Yes!

Let the record show,
for one brief and shining moment

I was smarter than Fre.

That means that I, Cinx

can assume my rightful place
as the smartest kid in...

( gasping ):
Ooh. Huh?

( whooshing )

MISS FOWL:
That's a meteor!

And it's headed straight for us!

( screaming )

It's a meteor!

All right, children.

Now, everyone stand
in an orderly fashion

as we await our imminent doom.

MAN:
Yeah, which one of you
is Jimmy Neutron?

He is.
There you go, sir.

Neutron, I'm Mayor Quadar.

That meteor's headed
straight for town

and you have
to help us destroy it.

( mumbling )

Attaboy! Now, on
to the super-safe
underground b*mb shelter.

Okay... he's off my vote.

What do we do,
Cindy?

Everybody, stop looking at me!

It's not my fault
Neutron got stupid

just as a meteor's about to hit.

Come on, Neutron, do one
of your brain-blast deals.

( beeps )
( goofy laugh )

Funny monkey!

( laughing )

We're all doomed!

Oh... I wish Jimmy
hadn't made himself so dumb.

What?!

Well, you see, Jimmy
was in his lab alone

and he just...

Show me!

Okay, Neutron

how does this thing work?

I don't know, Susie.

It's Cindy!

You're kind of cute.

Oh, I'll wing it!

( whining )

So? Are you a big, genius,
showoff butt-brain again?

I'm not sure.

Of course, what is genius
but an artificial construct

in the guise
of an empirical truth?

Hey, I didn't understand
a word he said.

Yeah!
He's back!

Whoo!
Whoo!

Okay, brainiac, we
don't have much time.

There's a big
flaming meteor

heading right for us.

Oh, the plates from
your TV tray, Jimmy?

Yep. I'm going to increase the
power of these magnetic plates

so they'll repel the metals
in the meteor

and force it
back into space.

Of course!

That's nice.

Turbines to speed.

( engine whining )

Lift off!

Got to get closer!

( digitized beeping )

( roaring )

Eat magnets, space rock!

( cheering )

Come on, brain, old buddy.
Let's go home.

Tell them, Neutron.

Tell them how I helped
you save Retroville.

I'm sorry, Miss,
do I know you?

Very funny, Neutron.

Next time a meteor is hurtling
towards Earth

and you've sapped
your intelligence

using brain-draining technology,
don't come crying to me!

Oh, like,
that was so awesome, Jimmy.

Yeah, Dumb Jimmy
was a lot of fun.

♪ He was loopy ♪

♪ I'm loopy... ♪

BOTH:
♪ We're loopy,
we're loopy ♪

ALL:
♪ We're loopy ♪

♪ We're loopy ♪
♪ I'm loopy ♪

♪ I'm loopy ♪
♪ You're loopy... ♪

♪ I'm loopy... ♪
♪ Uh-huh, hey... ♪

Okay, I think we
should stop now.

Ladies and gentlemen...

and Cindy.

I want
to show you

the greatest thing
your eyes have ever beheld.

A llama?

No.

A baby llama?

No.

A baby llama with
a little hat on?

No!

An invention of yours
that actually works?

No... I mean yes.

I present to you the latest
and greatest Neutron invention--

Book gum.

Why spend endless hours
reading a book

when you can simply chew
the book instead?

Wow, Jimmy,
chewing a book.

Sheen, you don't actually
chew a book.

See, I reduced the contents
of different books to gum form.

You chew it, and you know it.

Tastes fishy.

Call me Ishmael.

Starbuck,
it's the great white whale.

I'll get you, Moby d*ck!

Give me a piece of that.

Hmm... it tastes like
fried chicken.

Oh, Ashley, oh, Rhett.

I don't know nothin'
about birthin' no babies.

JIMMY:
Careful, Carl.

It would be
very dangerous

to eat more than one

at a time.

Mm...

William Shakespeare.

That might just be
a little strong for you, Carl.

But soft, what light
through yonder window breaks?

It is the east
and Juliet is the sun.

See how she leans
her cheek upon her hand.

Oh, that I were a glove
upon that hand

that I might
touch that cheek.

Class, we're having
a candy selling contest

to raise money.

( all groaning and yawning )

Boring.

The student who sells
the most boxes

will win a free VIP trip

to Retroland.

( cheering )

JIMMY:
I'm going to win that contest

and take you guys with me.

I'm going to try
to win

and if by some
miracle I do

I'll take you guys.

I'll try to win

but something will
go horribly wrong

so thanks
for including me.

CINDY:
Hey, Larry, Moe... Shorty.

Forget it. I am
winning this contest.

Yes. Cindy won the Girl Club
cookie-selling contest

three years in a row.

And I could have won
three more times

but they forced me
to retire

those merit-badge-
grabbing-cookie-loving...

Ah, that's a cute
story, girls.

But as it stands

I'm winning
this contest.

Oh, really?

Well, then let
the games begin.

And may the best
salesperson win.

Don't worry; she will.

( blows raspberry )

Download candy
and chocolate actualities

and data...

Oh, selling candy,
eh, Jimbo?

Well, you have come
to the right dinner table.

Welcome to the Hugh Neutron
school of salesmanship.

Class is in session.

Pumpkin pants, let's play
traveling salesman.

Who should I be this time?

You be the person who's not
the traveling salesman.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?

It's me.

Well, come on in.
Good evening, ma'am.

Want to spice up
your life?
Sure.

Well, then what you need

is this beautiful four-pronged
eating implement.

But, sir, I already have one.

I can see.

But can yours talk?

( with high-pitched voice ):
Hello. My name is Forky.

You're pretty.

( giggling )
Buy me. Buy me.

I'll take four.

And that, Jimmy, is how
where I got to be...

where I am today.

Bring on the pie.

You are the best.

You have the power.

Eye of the tiger.

Jimmy Neutron
is going down.

Oh, what can I do
for you, sonny?

Greetings, potential buyer.

I would like to show you

the psychological
and physical advantages

of buying and later ingesting
chocolate-based products

through your oral cavity.

Chocolate comes
from the cocoa tree

or theobroma.

There's are 22 species

and six sections
of theobroma...

Theobromine is one
of a group of chemicals

known as methylxanthines
also known as alkaloids.

I don't understand, Godard.

I did the research,
I compiled the facts

I presented them in
a coherent fashion.

Why aren't they buying?

Well, if it isn't
Mr. I'm-winning-
this-contest.

How many boxes
have you sold so far?

Well, I haven't tabulated
my inventory yet.

Hmm, looks like
a resounding... none!

( both laughing )

Neutron, sit right there
and watch a pro at work.

( with British accent ):
Would you please...

( coughs ) ...buy some candy

before I have to go back
to the orphanage...

and work in a coal mine
to pay for

my puppy's operation?

( coughing )

You poor, sweet child.

I'll take a dozen boxes.

Cash only.

( imitating mobster ):
The Vortex family

would consider it a grr

if you were to buy a case
of this delicious candy.

Forget about it.

I ain't buying nothing.

That's a very beautiful horse.

It would be unfortunate
for him to have an accident...

Capisce?

Oh, no. Not Chestnut.

I'll take ten cases.

♪ So if you buy some candy,
you'll feel oh so dandy ♪

♪ So buy some candy today! ♪

Hey, Jimbo, we just
bought some candy

from that cute
little Cindy Vortex.

I have miscalculated.

It's not about
superior intellect.

It's all about
manipulating emotions

with shallow,
unscrupulous behavior.

Godard, options.

Jimmy Neutron doesn't dance,
Godard.

Godard, whose side
are you on?

Yeah, if I can't be
a better salesman

I'll create a better salesman.

The Willy Loman 3000--
a super-selling machine

programmed to make
the sale at any cost.

He will not take
no for an answer.

( gears whirring )

It's the good life,
gentlemen.

While the W.L. 3000
does all the work

we sit here enjoying
a tall cold one.

And plan our
VIP trip to Retroland.

Huzzah!

What?

Huzzah-- some goofy
way to say cool.

What?!

Good afternoon, sir.

May I say you look
absolutely fab-fabulous.

Yes, I agree

it is beautiful out.

I don't want to buy nothing.

Buy? Who said buy?

I would like to give you
a piece of candy

absolutely free
with no strings attached.

Forget it.

You can never

have enough candy, sir.

I can, and I do.

Good-bye.

Ye-ye-yes, this is a "good" buy.

What part of "no"
do you not understand?

How about if I throw in
this free-ee-ee... dog

if you buy a box?

Hmm... what kind of dog is he?

He's your kind of dog.

Con-congratulations.

Hey, what does he eat?

Oh, not on
the carpet!

Oh, are those lug nuts?

I have sold 1,000 boxes
of candy.

Wow. Way to go, Willy.

And now for some good
old-fashioned gloating

and I-told-you-soing.

Oh, Miss Vortex.

Hey-hey-hey-hey, you look like

a couple
of intelligent young men.

Uh-uh. It's just
the glasses.

( chuckling )

And witty to boot.

If you buy one measly
box of ca-candy

you'll receive as my gift
to you

this handsome
custom-made rocket.

But that's Jimmy's
rocket.

But it's free.

I'm going to have so much fun
at Retroland

and Neutron won't 'cause
he is lame and I am not.

I'm busy, Neutron.

I'm planning my fabulous
free VIP trip to Retroland.

Well, you might want
to rethink that, Vortex.

Guess who just sold
1,000 boxes of candy?

I guess the best
salesman did win.

( engine roaring )

I don't know how
to stop it!

I don't care.
All right!

What in the name
of Albert Einstein is going on?

Heck if I know, Nerdtron

but isn't that
your stupid jet pack

that someone is putting in

the back
of their truck?

JIMMY:
Pukin' Pluto!

Buy a box of ca-candy, missy

and I'll throw in this
beautiful hover car.

It was only driven
by a ten-year-old boy

on the weekends
to science fairs.

Uh, hi, Jimmy.

We had a little
trouble landing.

Do you have
another rocket?

( barking )

Come back here you mangy,
mechanical...

You gave away Godard?

But you can't just...

How much do I hear for
this strapping young lad?

Large of head,
brawny of brain.

I'll give you 25 cents.

What are you... 25 cents?

I'm worth at least...

50 cents.

Sheen?!

Hey, Jimmy, I wanted
to buy you

since I was
five years old.

And the bid if
50 cents... 50 cents...

50-50-50 cents.

Four bits, four bits...

Oh, Hugh, you've got
to do something.

Don't worry, sweet cheeks.

I've got it covered.

I'll give you
one dollar.

Two dollars.

Going once,
going twice...

To rich for my blood.
See ya, Jimmy.

Hugh Neutron,
you buy our son
this instant.

But I only have
a dollar.

Oh!

Come on, come on,
we need more money.

Neutron is mine.

Two dollars...

Oh, no, no.

Think, think, think...

It would be very dangerous
to eat more than one at a time.

Brain blast.

Might I interest you
in some free gum?

Did you say free?

Once upon a time...

It was the best of times

it was the worst of times...

Elementary, my dear Watson...

Hop on Pop...

( reciting book passages
rapidly )

Danger, Jimmy Neutron...

Danger...

Literature overload...
lit-literature overload...

Danger Jimmy Neutron.

Danger! Danger! Danger!
Danger...

Well, after making
some creative adjustments

in the final tally

here are the contest results--

it's a tie!

Jimmy Neutron and Cind.

So I guess you'll just have
to go to Retroland together.

I demand a recount.

I demand a transfer
to another school.

I am not having fun.

Neither am I, Nerdtron.

Want some gum?

No!

Hi, I'm Paul.

JIMMY:
Got to blast.