02x08 - Love Potion #976/J

[bunniefuu]

Gotta Blast!

♪ Into the stars
goin' by Candy Bar's ♪

♪ Rides a kid with a knack
for invention ♪

( gasps )

♪ With a super-powered mind,
a mechanical canine ♪

( barks )

♪ He rescues the day
from sure destruction ♪

Help!

♪ This is the theme song ♪

( screams )

♪ For Jimmy Neutron. ♪

( mechanical whirring )

( barking )

( yells )

Now, tomorrow
is Valentine's Day, children,

a day when hidden, untamed
desires bewitch our hearts.

Plus you get free candy!

( chewing noisily )

I'm sending one card to each
member of Guys2Boys

to boost my odds.

How are your cards coming?

Almost done.

I just need my mom's lawyer
to look them over

so I'm not obligated
to pursue a relationship.

"Dear Fudgie Pops, I love you
very, very, very, very, very...

very, very, very, very...

( growls )

This is dumb.

The only female I've ever been
attracted to is Madame Curie,

the mother of modern radiology--

in a purely platonic way,
of course.

Place
the heart center...

Over more!

Now, okay,
add more macaroni

to symbolize
your devotion to me.

But, Honey Dumpling,
the paste is making me woozy.

So, you don't love me.

Oh...

More macaroni!

Okay.

Yuck!

How could a regular
guy like Oleander

sink so low?

Oh, Jimmy, it's only
a matter of time

before your young heart

is impaled
by the pointy darts of love.

Oo... coconut haystack?

"A matter of time," huh?

Not if I can help it.

CARL ( over intercom:
Hey, Jimmy...

we got here
as soon as you called.

Let us in.

( beeps )

( screaming )

JIMMY:
Gentlemen,

you are about
to witness the completion

of my most
dangerous experiment yet.

More powerful
than the atom b*mb,

more lethal than
an orbiting space laser.

I give you...
Pheromone Number 976/J.

It's horrifying!

What's a pheromone?

It's the chemical hormone
that makes boys like girls.

One whiff of this stuff
will make a guy fall in love

with the first girl he sees.

You madman!

What have you done?!

It's got
to be destroyed!

JIMMY:
Sheen, no!

I'm going
to use the pheromone

to develop
an anti-love vaccine.

But, Jimmy, girls aren't so bad.

I mean, they have good
communication skills

and they almost never
b*at you up after school.

JIMMY:
Carl, do you want
to end up

like Oleander?

You mean, defeated, numb,
stripped of his own free will?

( shuddering )

Well, the same thing
is going to happen to us

unless I can develop
an immunity serum first.

I'll keep
the pheromone inside

this vacuum-sealed
containment area

until the vaccine
is fully developed.

Any questions?

Can I check my e-mail?

I want to make sure

my cheese-of-the-month
is on its way.

Sure, Carl,
the computer's over there.

Hey, Sheen, help me lock down
this sprocket inverter.

This month's cheese
is gouda-feta.

Huh.

Eenie, meenie, minie, moe.

( grunting )

( smashes )

Hey, Jimmy,
your computer's acting funny.

( grunting )

Just a second, Carl.

( computer beeping )

( alarm buzzing )

CARL:
Must be this one.

( groans )

It's no use, Sheen.

We'll have to get a flange
spanner up at the house.

Be right back, Carl.

Sure thing, Jim.

Look, Libby,

it's Lose and Loser.

( laughing )

Oh, yeah, Vortex?

Well, for your information...

( blathering )

Good comeback,
Count Dorkula.

( laughing )

Jimmy!
don't let her

talk to you like
that, she's...

she's like some beautiful
queen of the galaxy,

strong, yet yielding.

( blathering )

I got to go.

It's been
a real stimulating
conversation-- not!

( laughing )

Wait, my queen!

Your loyal subject
bids you command him!

( squeals disdainfully )

What's your
problem, Freakboy?

( giggles )

I'm out of here,
King Cranium.

"King Cranium," 'cause
his head's so big--

that's rich.

Me see you soon day!

"Me see you soon day"?

What a stupid thing to say.

Wait, why do I care
what Cindy thinks?

And why did I become lost
in her limpid green eyes?

I've been in the lab too long.

Um, excuse me,
Mrs. Neutron?

Yes, Carl?

Have you seen Jimmy and...

Oh, Mrs. Neutron...

you smell
like pine cones.

Sugarbooger, how's
my little bundle of fun?

We'll speak
of this later.

What's wrong with me?

I've got to get Cindy
out of my mind.

Maybe if I just concentrate.

Think of prime numbers.

( screams )

( horns blaring )

Oh, no, I've got
to face the truth.

I've fallen in love wi.

( squeaking and snorting )

What are you doing?

I'm proving my love
by performing

the Arcturian Dance of Wooing

from Episode 921, "The Courtship
of Ultralord's Father."

LIBBY:
Well, cut it out!

I don't want the
neighbors to see you.

My queen is chagrined?

I'm not your queen!

Now get off my lawn.

But shining one, I bear gifts.

What is that?!

His name
is Meltyface.

He was my very first
action figure.

I retired him after a horrible
steam iron accident,

but he's still my favorite.

And you're giving him to me?

Wow, that's really... nice.

Libby, uh, would you
do me the honor

of going out with me tomorrow
night on Valentine's Day?

Actually,
I have to go do...

( gasps )

Sure, why not?

It might be fun.

Yes!

( squeaking and snorting )

Okay, you've got
to stop doing that.

( pinging )

( smashes )

♪ Oh... Judy ♪

♪ Well, you came and you
baked me some cookies... ♪

What we have
is beautiful

and you can't
destroy it!

All righty, then.

( tinkling )

Found her... my adorable little
angel is at the Candy Bar.

( sighs )

And then, when
I got inside,

I discovered
that Meltyface needed
a really good washing.

Ooo, Libby,
what are thinking?!

Sheen's almost
as bad as Neutron.

But he's cute...

in a clueless,
hyperactive
kind of way.

Lib, you can do
so much better.

A girl should never settle
for anything less

than the perfect
Valentine.

Oh, yeah?

Well, what's your idea
of the perfect Valentine?

Well, if you really
want to know?

( music begins playing )

♪ He'll comply
with my every demand ♪

♪ My Valentine will know
who's in command ♪

♪ Will he be good in s♪

♪ He'll do my homework
every night ♪

♪ What if he's a fool? ♪

♪ He'd better get
the answers right ♪

♪ He'll honor and obey,
he'll do just what I say ♪

♪ My Valentine. ♪

♪ My Valentine. ♪

♪ He'll hold you in hi♪

♪ I'll show him moves
he's never seen... ♪

♪ He'll woo you with
his charms... ♪

♪ He'll know
his Cindy is supreme! ♪

♪ He'll honor and obey,
he'll do just what you say ♪

♪ Your Valentine. ♪

♪ My Valentine. ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa, wha-oo... ♪

♪ Scold him
and keep him down ♪

♪ And slap him
just for talking back ♪

♪ One wrong move,
and he's out the door ♪

♪ And that's a simple♪

♪ ♪ ♪

♪ Will you belong to him? ♪

♪ Yeah, right,
that's in your dreams ♪

♪ He'll clean my house until it
glimmers and it gleams ♪

♪ He'll honor and obey,
he'll do just what I say ♪

♪ My Valentine... ♪

♪ My Valentine. ♪

( music ends )

That's why I won't settle.

I know that someday that
special, magical someone

will appear
when I least expect it.

( crash )

( scream )

( panting )

I can't talk,
I can't think.

Everywhere I go,
you're there.

What kind of sick joke
is this?

Oh, you're going make me say it,
aren't you?

All right, then, I'll say it.

I love you,
Cindy Vortex!

( "Vortex" echoing )

( gasps )

( both gasp )

( all gasp )

( all laughing )

( laughing dies down )

( laughing resumes )

Mmm, pecan ripple,
your favorite.

You messy
little hooligan!

I just cleaned that floor
eight months ago!

You're out of here!

Yeah, yeah.

( ice cream splats )

I don't get it.

Why would Neutron purposely
embarrass himself like that?

Have you considered
the possibility

that he actually
does like you?

Oh... it can't be!

But it's the only explanation.

CINDY:
Hey, Dweebtron!

So you like me, huh?

Well, what are you prepared
to do about it?

Uh... want to come over
to the lab tomorrow?

Watch a movie?

How's 2:00?

Hmm... I'll give you
one chance, Neutron.

But if this is a trick,

you'll have to go
back in time

to make sure you
were never born.

I did it!

She likes me!

She's going to go out with me!

I made a date with Cindy!

No!

This is it, this is the day.

I've got to get ready
for my date with Cindy.

Oh, no!

Look at this mess!

Switch to vacuum mode.

Hmm. Not bad.

But these clothes
have got to go.

VOX, wardrobe change
RP-829.

( electronic chirping )

( dispenser hissing )

( pipe burbling )

Access holographic room imaging,
filename: "Hef".

( mellow music playing )

Let the dating begin.

So where exactly
are we going?

You'll see soon enough,
Oh Bringer of Pain
and Delight.

( car horn beeping )

Sheen, could you
cut that out?

The whole goddess thing
is flattering,

but it gets old
very quickly.

Really?

Then we're going
to have a slight problem.

How come?

Because
I have erected

a glorious shrine
to your divine essence!

What the... ?

I used every action figure
I possess to build it.

I was going to go for
an Art Deco feel,

but then I said,
"No! Action figures!"

Sheen, this is so weird.

But sweet--
in a geeky kind of way.

Libby, will you be my valentine?

Well... sure, Sheen-- of course
I'll be your valentine.

JUDY:
Oh, Hugh,
what a perfect way

to spend
Valentine's Day.

And there's no one else
I'd rather spend it with,
Puddin' Pants.

Here comes Mr. Walking...

( giggling ):
Oh, Hugh.

Walking, walking,
walking, walking...

HUGH:
Monkey!

( both shout )

CARL:
I'm so sorry.

( in poor Italian accent ):
My monkey, he's no bother
you, see?

Well, I'll be!

An honest-to-gosh
organ grinder.

Oh, look at the adorable,
unlicensed little monkey.

Oh, you cute
little monkey.

( monkey jabbering )

Ow! Get him off me!

Hugh, honey, be careful!

It's okay, honey, I think
he just wants to wrestle.

Ow!

Oh, that's a fun...

Ow!

( screaming )

Ooh, that tickles.

( screaming )

There can be no masks
between us, Judy.

JUDY:
Carl?

Alone at last.

I must be out of my mind.

( screaming )

( grunts )

( mellow music playing )

Wow, Neutron,
you clean up good.

Oh, well... thanks, um...

Purple Flurp?

Yeah, thanks.

Listen, Neutron,
about this afternoon...

I know, I know--
I'm pretty dumb.

I mean, technically,
I'm a genius...

What I mean is...

Oh, this isn't
coming out right.

Uh, Neutron, are you nervous?

Nervous? Me?

Ridiculous!

Well, down the hatch.

( fluid splashing )

( hologram zaps )

Look, Neutron,

I'm just as weirded out
by this as you are,

but you said you loved me.

What's up with that?

I wish I knew-- I've never
felt this way before.

I'm cold, clammy and confused,
but the strange thing is...

I think I actually like it.

I think that this is my favorite
part of Valentine's Day.

( gong crashes )

What are you doing?!

Well, as my valentine,

you must now defeat
your rivals in pitched combat.

My rivals?

Of course.

Only then can we ascend
the sacred altar

and take our solemn vows.

Vows?!

No... now, wait a minute.

( shouts alien language )

( shouts challenge )

( shrieks )

Okay, you don't seem to have
any rivals.

So I'll be
your sparring partner!

Try to overcome me
with the deadly Ton-Thar.

Are you having
some kind of, um, episode?

( shouts in alien language )

( grunting )

( shouting )

( grunts )

( strangled ):
Not bad for a beginner.

Listen, I'm sorry,

but this just isn't
going to work.

( blowing )

Do I offend?

It just feels like
all this is happening too fast.

Maybe what you and I need

is more time to work
on our "friendship."

But what about
our battle skills?

Sheen, look, you're nice.

But can we please take things
down just a notch?

I could do that.

Thank you.

And thanks for the card.

Welcome.

( speaking gibberish )

This is going to be
a long holiday.

Judy, will you be
my valentine?

Oh, Carl, this is so...

( uncertainly ):
sweet.

Thanks.

I sprayed it with
my dad's cologne.

It's called
"Bunion Begone."

( sniffing )

Um, Carl,
Mr. Neutron and I...

See, sometimes people like
to have private time--

just the two of them.

Gotcha.

( whispering ):
How do we get rid
of the deadwood?

( monkey jabbering )

Oh, well, you know
what they say.

"It's all fun and games

until a monkey bites you
on the eye."

Oh, honey.

I'll meet you tonight
at the playground.

( jabbering )

I got so caught up
in this hot monkey action,

I... I forgot
to give you this.

Here.

Butterbonnet,

will you be
my valentine?

Oh, Hugh!

Of course I will.

Oh, careful--
not the eye.

Oh, dear.

Mmm...

JIMMY:
I'm not usually

very romantic, but, uh...
I made this for you.

( hologram plays
recording of heartbeat )

Uh... thanks?

I have a question
to ask you.

It's a big question.

Spit it out,
Neutron!

Okay, here... here it goes.

Cindy, will you be
my... val... my val...

Your "val"?!

My va... my va-va...

Hey.

What's that light doing on?

Look, Neutron, we both know
what you want to say,

so just say it.

Okay, okay, okay!

Cindy... will you be
my valentine?

Neutron, you silver-tongued,
pointy-headed devil.

I thought you'd never ask.

( electronic chirping )

( motors whirring )

The pheromone beaker!

It's broken!

The air vent is wide open!

I must have been exposed
without realizing it.

Neutron, I thought
you wanted to be
my valentine.

I do!

Uh, but not really.

I mean, you're so beautiful,

but you're so gross--
I mean...

Neutron, do you want
to be my valentine
or don't you?!

Hey!

What's going on?

I'm sorry!

I love you,
but I'm supposed to hate you.

Neutron, you are
so dead!

( air whooshing )

Ah... her hair
smells like jasmine.

I've got to snap out of it--
I almost kissed her!

Got to think, think, think.

This month's cheese
is Gouda-feta,

Gouda-feta,
Gouda-feta...

Brain blast!

The love pheromone works
through sense of smell.

By dulling
the nose's olfactory receptors,

I should be able to counteract
its influence.

And I think I know
just the way to do it.

CARL:
Gouda-feta.

SHEEN:
Hey, Jimmy,

thanks for fixing things
before I married Libby.

Yeah, and before
I became your step-dad.

Don't thank me,
thank your "Cheese
of the Month" club.

LIBBY:
Way to stink up

the school, Geektron!

When I think of how close
we came to dating

those cheese-wearing yahoos,
it gives me the creeps.

( inhales deeply )

Ah, the sweet smell of.

Come on, guys.

Let's sit in the sun

so these little beauties
can ripen.

( humming happily )

( continuing humming )