02x01 - Beach Party Mummy

[bunniefuu]

Got to blast!

♪ Into the stars goin' by Candy Bar's ♪

♪ Rides a kid with a knack for invention ♪

[ gasps]

♪ With a super-powered mind, a mechanical canine ♪

[ barks]

♪ He rescues the day from sure destruction ♪

Help!

♪ This is the theme song

[ screams]

♪ For Jimmy Neutron.

[ mechanical whirring]

[ barking]

[ yells]

Live. Live. Live!

Oh, sorry, Carl.

I-I couldn't bring your goldfish back to life.

[ sniffles]

CARL: Goodbye, Swimmy.

I'll miss you, boy.

Why must the good die young?

JIMMY: I thought re-stimulating his brain

with my new electro-life device would bring him back.

But I guess not.

Jimmy, uh, we might have a pop quiz today.

Can I "stimpulate" my brain?

No.

This goes in the "Neutron Failed Experiments" file.

Can I have it as a souvenir?

The smooth, cold texture reminds me of Swimmy.

Ah, sure, Carl.

I feel your pain, brother.

So, are you going to stuff Swimmy

or freeze him or flush him down the toilet?

Sheen!

Come on, guys.

We got to go.

It's the circle of life, Carl.

Everything dies.

SHEEN: Except Ultra Lord!

He shall never die!

He lives forever.

Nothing can k*ll him.

It'll be okay, Carl.

School will get your mind off Swimmy.

I know. I'll feel better

as soon as I see Miss Fowl's sweet, smiling face.

[ Carl screaming]

Today we will watch

part one of Ken Burns' -hour documentary

on the history of mummies.

[ cackles]

Yawn.

I'd rather chew off my own foot.

No, I want to check this out.

My family tree goes back to Egypt.

Mummies are cool.

Butch, would you get the lights?

Sure thing, Teach.

[ glass shatters]

Thank you.

I don't want to see videos of mummies.

I want to see realmummies.

Oh, I don't.

They might rise from the dead and att*ck us.

[ TV clicks on]

MAN [ on video]: "Dear Ahmedia,

"Today I moved a one-ton bolder

across the broiling desert sands."

[ snoring]

"Then I had lunch.

Then they cut my tongue out."

JIMMY: What am I doing sitting here?

I'm a science genius.

Who's up for a quick trip to Egypt?

What could be more boring than going with you to Egypt?

MAN: "Tonight I will tell stories around the fire.

This will be difficult without my tongue."

Let's roll.

[ quietly]: I'll go home and get my hover car

and meet you guys in back of the school.

But what if we get caught?

[ quietly]: We're not going to get caught.

Oh!

Going somewhere, students?

To, uh...

Uh, y-yeah.

We're on our way to...

To Egypt.

What?

SHEEN: That Carl.

[ laughs] What a jokester.

He meant to say we're on our way

to the... school tanning salon.

The school tanning salon?

Well, have fun.

Oh, and don't fall asleep.

I did once and I ended up

looking like a big old lobster.

I swear, I was, like, "Melt up some butter

and break out the shell crackers!"

[ laughs] Just toasted.

Quick thinking, Sheen.

Yeah, well, you know what they say:

lies are just friends you haven't met yet.

Come on, let's go.

Uh, guys...

my mom doesn't allow me to get tan.

Guys, we can't leave school.

It's ditching.

It'll go on our permanent record.

Carl, how many times do I have to tell you?

Your permanent record is just a myth,

like the Loch Ness monster or North Dakota.

All aboard for Egypt.

Did you guys know

I'm related to Cleopatra?

No. Why don't you tell us for ten millionth time?

I'm related to the guy that invented baseball.

Wow. Really?

Oh, wait, did I say baseball?

I meant spray-on eyebrows.

Light speed to Egypt.

This better not be like the time you took us

to the center of the earth

and all we found was hot dirt.

Oh, come on, guys.

This is going to be a great adventure.

We're going to find the lost tomb of Queen Howsaboutislapya.

Wow.

That cloud kind of reminds me of Swimmy.

Uh, Carl, get a new pet.

Like a pit bull or a wolverine

or a friendly little alien from another planet

you can display like a freak

and exploit for a million dollars.

Did you take your medicine this morning?

Maybe.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your pilot.

Prepare for landing.

Egypt: land of the pharaohs,

land of the great River Nile.

Land of this place stinks.

Where's the mall?

And this dry air is definitely not doing

this girl's skin any favors.

Does anybody know where the little sheik's room is?

Swimmy would have loved it here.

Don't worry, guys.

I'll be locating the lost tomb in no time--

quicker than you can say, Tutankhamen.

Jimmy...

I've been saying "Tutvanhalen"

for three hours.

Can I stop now?

Way to go, Neutron.

You haven't found anything.

I'd rather be in school.

I don't understand it.

I can't seem to find the lost tomb.

Duh! That's why they call it the "lost tomb,"

not the here- it-is tomb:

"come inside and have a milkshake."

Oh, Swimmy loved milkshakes.

Let's go home.

I need to apply some emergency skin care products.

And so ends another chapter

of the boring and stupid adventures of Jimmy Neutron.

But, guys, we're here

in an exotic, distant, foreign land.

We might as well have some fun.

Fun?

Yeah, right.

Let's have a party in this beautiful spot.

Party?

Uh, Jimmy... where's the bathroom?

All I see is sand, and I'm not a cat.

Sand...

Yeah.

[ laughs excitedly]

W-What's the matter with Jimmy?

He's got desert fever.

Curse you, cruel desert.

You've taken another victim in your sandy clutches.

We must put him out of his misery.

How?

There's only one way.

[ grunts]

Let's have an Egyptian beach party.

I'm in.

[ surfer music starts]

Always be prepared for any eventuality.

All my life I've wanted to go

to an authentic Egyptian beach party.

♪ Grab your mummies and your daddies ♪

♪ Surf sarcophagus and obelisk, too ♪

CHORUS: ♪ Obelisk, too, now, your obelisk, too♪

♪ We're going to party really hearty ♪

♪ Just like Cleopatra used to do, now ♪

♪ Ooh, wop, bop-bop♪

♪ We're going to do the Funky Pyramid ♪

♪ And dance until the break of day, now ♪

♪ Gonna dance, gonna dance all day♪

♪ We're gonna surf, surf, surf

♪ Till the pharaoh takes our surfboards away, now ♪

♪ Aah... ah♪

♪ Egyptian beach party

♪ Egyptian beach party♪

♪ Shake it loose on the Nile

♪ Egyptian beach party♪

♪ Egyptian beach party

♪ Egyptian beach party♪

♪ We can make the Sphinx smile

♪ Ooh... party♪

♪ Two camels for every sheik... ♪

♪ Ooh... ♪ Bow, bow, bow♪

♪ Ooh... ♪ Bow, bow, bow♪

♪ Ooh... ♪ Bow, bow, bow♪

♪ Ooh... ♪ Bow, bow, bow♪

♪ Ooh... ♪ Bow, bow, bow♪

♪ Ooh... ♪ Bow, bow, bow♪

♪ Ooh... ♪ Bow, bow, bow♪

♪ Ooh... ♪ Bow, bow, bow♪

♪ Ooh... ♪ Bow, bow, bow♪

♪ Ooh...

[ music stops]

Jimmy... what's happening?

The increased air friction has created

a high-intensity displacement

of the ground covering...

Cut to the chase.

Sandstorm!

[ everyone coughing]

Is everybody all right?

Uh, Jimmy, I've got sand in a very uncomfortable place.

Okay, Neutron, once again you blew it big time.

[ gasps]

Hey, Jumblehead, I'm yelling at you.

Pay attention.

What are you looking at?

The entrance to the lost tomb

of the Queen Howsaboutislapya.

You think there's a bathroom

in there?

JIMMY: We shall now enter the lost tomb

and see what has been unseen for , years.

Shouldn't we, like, call

National Geographic or Harvard?

Or Harrison Ford?

Oh, no.

I'm not going in there.

There's no steps, there's no handrail,

there's no souvenir shop.

Uh-uh, I'm staying out here.

Okay, Carl, you stay and keep watch in case a marauding band

of bloodthirsty grave robbers shows up.

[ hawk keens]

Wait for me!

Okay, are things going to, like, jump out at us

and... and scare us?

[ shouts]

[ screams]

No, Carl, everything in here is dead.

Oh, that's good, 'cause...

Dead things?

Uh, I'm allergic to dead things.

Don't worry, Carl.

Nothing's going to hurt you.

[ all gasp]

I don't believe it.

It can't be.

But it is.

It's...

JIMMY: It's Queen Howsaboutislapya!

Smoking! I'd be her king in a Retroville minute.

She looks just like...

Me?

LIBBY: No.

Me.

SHEEN: Wow, Libby!

Maybe she's your great-great-great great-great...

[ watch ticking]

[ crickets chirping]

great-great-great grandmother!

I'm royalty.

Oh, boy, here we go.

"Queen Libby's in the house."

Hey... maybe this whole place belongs to me.

I could turn it into a hot little dance club/restaurant/

boutique/water park...

CARL: Hey, Jimmy.

Somebody wrote on the walls.

They're going to get in trouble.

No, no, Carl.

Those are hieroglyphics:

the ancient Egyptian art of picture writing.

Hey-- I saw this

in Ultra Lord versus the Mutant Pus-Spitting Mummy.

I can read this stuff.

Yeah, right.

SHEEN: "The queen flew

"on the wings of an eagle.

"She had a VCR, but wanted a DVD

"and the gods sent munchkins

to hypnotize her water-skis,"

"so she took her peanut butter sandwich for a walk.

The end."

Wow, Sheen.

That was amazing!

Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

Excuse me.

My watch has a Sanskrit-to-English translator

with a Rosetta Stone upgrade.

The queen was only when she d*ed.

Why must the good die young?!

"Whosoever disturbs my resting place

"shall endure eternal punishment

"and pain shall erupt from every pore,

and their screams shall be heard down the centuries..."

Get to the point, Doofus of Arabia.

It's just a silly curse, and there's no such thing as curses.

Oh, so they're like the Loch Ness Monster and North Dakota.

[ stone scraping]

Hey, guys-- I think I found the bathroom.

It smells like a bathroom.

I wish I had one of those deodorizer things

you hang in the car from the mirror.

Lemon or strawberry?

Thanks, Carl.

Hey! Why do you carry those around with you?

'Cause.

Follow me.

Oh, I bet something really bad's going to happen.

With Nerdtron leading the way, it's a pretty safe bet.

Man [ on television]: Up and two and feel the burn.

PRINCIPAL WILLOUGHBY: Yes, I feel the burn.

Oh, baby, do I feel the burn!

MAN: Come on! Oh, yeah!

Wait a minute.

We don't have a tanning salon.

I, for one, am deeply disappointed.

It's just a big, empty room.

JIMMY: Well, the pyramid designers

sometimes built hundreds of empty chambers

to confuse grave robbers.

So they'd wander aimlessly for days, until they...

You got ten seconds to get us out of here.

Guys... I'm kind of tired.

Can we take a nap?

SHEEN: A nap?

Come on, Carl.

Why don't we burp you

and change your diaper while we're at it?

Hey.

Where's Carl?

Help!

[ all straining]

Oh, man!

This is hard.

And those mimes make it look so easy.

There must be a secret button.

Or maybe a password opens it.

No problem.

Open sesame.

Abracadabra.

Mick-a-mick-a-hi, mick-a heinie-heinie-ho!

Shama-lama ding-dong!

♪ Karma, karma chameleon...

A-wop-wop-a-loo-wop, a-wop-bam-boom.

Well, that's all I got.

Okay, um, I don't like it in here!

[ snakes hissing]

Snakes!

MAN [ on video]: A desert full of sand,

stretching as far as the eye could see...

Miss Fowl, some of your students have gone AWOL!

I'll get to the bottom of this if it takes me the rest...

MAN [ on video]: Sand, sand and more sand.

So much sand, you really wouldn't believe it.

[ all snoring loudly]

SHEEN: Carl, we're coming to get you!

Don't worry, you'll be fine!

He's history, huh?

JIMMY: Spice jars!

If we can gather up

enough kaffir lime leaves and dry mustard powder,

I can ignite them and blow the door open.

Where do you learn all this stuff?

That I learned at the library.

Oh.

And the library is a...?

Okay, nice snakes.

Pretty snakes.

Um, go away, please.

Y-You don't want to bite me with your long, sharp fangs

and inject poison into my bloodstream.

[ fuse hissing]

[ panting]: Thanks, guys.

I thought I was going to be snake food.

Okay, this field trip is over.

How are you going to get us out of here, Mr. Tour Guide?

We don't want to get out of here.

Okay, Jimmy's lost it.

I elect myself leader.

Everybody start crying and yelling.

JIMMY: No, guys.

Look.

JIMMY: The queen's burial chamber.

Get ready to see a real, live mummy.

SHEEN: Hey, Jimmy.

Was the queen going to have a garage sale?

The Egyptians believed in an afterlife,

so they preserved their bodies

and buried them with their furniture, jewelry, pets...

[ Sheen laughing]

Man, those ancient Egyptians were a bunch of whack jobs.

[ pottery shattering]

But in case they're right,

bury me with my Ultra Lord collection.

Well, guys, this was fun.

[ laughing nervously]

Okay, let's all leave in a quiet and orderly fashion

before we see something really scary, like...

Mummies!

[ all gasp]

[ all talking at once]

JIMMY: Shh-- stand still.

I'll find my torch.

CINDY: Ow! That's not your torch.

JIMMY: Sorry.

CARL: Hey, Jimmy.

I still got your electro-life thingy

that makes a light.

[ electro-life device buzzing]

Found it!

Now lets take a look at those mummies.

[ growling]

J-Jimmy, the mummies are looking at us.

Impossible.

LIBBY: They're moving.

I did it!

Yeah!

My electro-life works!

I can bring the dead back to life.

All right!

You trampled all over the laws of nature!

Way to go!

Yeah, terrific.

Now a bunch of dead guys

wrapped in toilet paper

are going to k*ll us.

Um, guys, I suggest we...

[ screaming]: run!

[ mummies growling]

Jimmy... next time you invite me anywhere,

remind me to say no.

Let's hope there is a next time!

[ mummies moaning, growling]

Hey! Guys!

I'm related to your queen.

Ah! Oh, wait! No!

[ mummies growling and moaning]

[ mummies' bones rattling]

Here.

JIMMY: We can hide.

[ straining]

Ow.

So, this is how it ends.

Playing hide-and-get-k*lled in a tomb in Egypt.

Why must the good die young?!

They're coming this way.

Everybody stay quiet.

Uh, Jimmy, now would be a real good time

for one of your brain blasts.

Think... think.

LIBBY: She looks just like...

Me?

No. Me.

Brain blast!

Libby, quick, I need you!

Oh, why, Jimmy, this is so sudden.

Hey, what's going on?

It's the desert love curse

working its evil ways on Jimmy's heart.

Libby, you look like the queen.

If you pretend to be her,

maybe the mummies will obey your commands.

That's the stupidest, most idiotic idea I've ever heard.

But I love doing makeovers.

Let's do it.

Let me do her hair!

Let me do her hair!

I got nails.

[ growling and moaning]

Stop!

Halt?

Yo, dead guys!

Your queen orders you to cool it!

[ grunting questioningly]

[ all gasping]

Now, I'm your queen.

Bow down to my queenly queenliness!

[ grunting uncertainly]

Oh, great-- you stopped the mummies,

but you've created a new monster.

Let me hear you say, "Yeah."

ALL: Yeah!

Say, "Oh, yeah."

ALL: Oh, yeah.

"Uh-huh, uh-huh."

ALL: Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Now raise the roof and shake your booty!

[ mumbling, repeating command]

Uh, Libby, I know you're having a moment,

but we do have a situation here.

Right, right, right-- sorry.

I command you to sleep for five...

ALL: Ten!

Ten trillion more years!

[ groan, begin snoring]

LIBBY: Sleep tight,

don't let the scarab bugs bite.

Carl, give me the electro-life.

Why, Jimmy?

Some things should not see the light of day.

For who am I, a mere mortal,

to alter the very laws of mortality?

Good thing we're in a tomb,

because you're boring us to death.

SHEEN: I found the bathroom!

[ loud thump]

Ow!

SHEEN: Why must the good get hit on their heads?

SHEEN: Farewell, cruel desert.

CARL: Don't forget to write.

You know, I think I'm down with this new look.

I'm going to keep it.

So do we have to address you

as "Queen Libby" from now on?

[ laughs]

No, "Your Mighty Fine Royal Fabulousness" will do.

JIMMY: Mach speed to Retroville!

MAN [ on video]: And the Nile continued to flow

on and on and on and on and on and on and on...[ students snoring]

Miss Fowl, we're back!

Carl!Carl!Carl!Carl!

What?!

Where have you children been?

I want the truth!

And I'll have none of this "tanning salon" business.

SHEEN: Uh, did I say we were going

to the tanning salon?

I meant, uh... uh, the bathroom.

Oh, well...

all right then.

In Egypt-- and Libby got to be a queen,

and mummies chased us

and we discovered a lost tomb...

Leaving school without permission--

that's ten demerits!

[ all groan]

And for discovering a lost tomb...

extra recess all this week!

[ all cheering]

Whoo-hoo!

Hey, Jim, I just thought of something.

If your electro thingy worked on the mummies,

maybe it worked on Swimmy!

Well, I hate to admit it, but I guess

that was a pretty cool adventure, Neutron.

Aw, thanks, Cindy.

But I bet the next one stinks!

Well, who says I'm going to invite you?

Well, who says I'd even go?

Who says I'd want you to go?

CINDY: I wouldn't go!

JIMMY: I wouldn't let you go.

♪ Swimmy, Swimmy, Swimmy

♪ Swimmy, Swimmy, Swimmy, little Swimmy, little Swimmy. ♪

Hi, I'm Paul.

JIMMY: Got to blast!