02x02 - The Retroville 9/Grumpy Young Men

[bunniefuu]

Got to blast!

♪ Into the stars goin' by Candy Bar's ♪

♪ Rides a kid with a knack for invention ♪

[ gasps]

♪ With a super-powered mind, a mechanical canine ♪

[ barks]

♪ He rescues the day from sure destruction ♪

Help!

♪ This is the theme song

[ screams]

♪ For Jimmy Neutron.

[ mechanical whirring]

[ barking]

[ yells]

Make it stop, Jimmy!

Just end it, Neutron!

I can't take it anymore!

If you love me, you'll finish it now!

[ jeering]

People, we can't quit now!

It's only the first inning!

And Butch's team is b*ating us to !

Cut the chatter and play ball!

Ball three!

Ball?!

That was right down the middle.

I've seen better calls at a square dance!

Jimmy's throwing lollipops.

The day he throws down Broadway

is the day I dance on the moon!

[ grunts]

♪ Oh, I wish I was llama in a great big llama world... ♪

Carl, look alive!

CARL: Ah! The ball!

It's coming right at me!

Ow, my scapula!

[ humming]

[ grunts]

Oh...

Way to go, Cindy.

Way to pitch an easy home run.

Pay attention, Libby!

I was listening to a great song--

I have priorities.

And I have back pain...

primarily around my scapula.

Safe!

Can we stop, Miss Fowl?

My team's tired

from running around the bases so much.

Oh, I thought you'd never ask.

Butch's team is the winner!

All in favor

of never playing baseball

for the rest of their lives, say "aye."

ALL: Aye!

You guys are such losers.

All those who agree with Butch?

ALL: Aye!

My scapula.

Hey, no one calls my team losers.

We want a rematch!

You're on.

ALL: No!

Why?!

Neutron, are you out of your oversized mind?

I'll show you guys that we're notlosers.

[ humming]

[ spits]

[ muttering]

Hey, Jimbo, how was the game?

We lost... again.

Well, son,

my old baseball coach used to say to me,

"Hey, kid, you stink on ice!

Go home and play with your ducks!"

[ chuckles]

Oh, yes, those were the days.

Crazy nicknames back then.

They used to call me "Get-lost" or "We-hate-you".

Hey, Jimbo, here, see if you can catch this.

[ grunts]

[ glass shatters]

Ha! Loser!

Hey, that was my other nickname.

Time to break out the science.

First I download the combined techniques

of Babe Ruth, Barry Bonds and Mark McGuire.

Now I transfer the techniques into the equipment.

One hydraulic force-amplifying bat,

nine sphere-seeking gloves.

Play ball.

Come on, guys, just one more game.

Look, I've got all new gloves and a new bat.

I think that'll help.

[ muttering dubiously]

Trust me.

Play ball!

Okay, Neutron, let the slaughter begin.

Oh, another ball coming right at me.

Why?

Why?!

Here we go again.

Yes!

Today, I consider myself

the luckiest boy on the face of the earth.

I don't believe it, but you're out, Butch.

Lucky catch.

Luck had nothing to do with it.

Three outs!

[ gasping]

Jimmy's team is up.

Better duck, Butch!

If you hit this ball, I'll eat my hat.

[ cheering]

Enjoy it, Neutron.

That's the only hit your team's going to get!

Hey, it's not bad.

I never thought I'd see it, but Jimmy's team wins!

[ cheering]

[ chanting]: Jimmy! Jimmy! Jimmy!

Jimmy! Jimmy! Jimmy!

We are so good.

We're scary good.

Nobody can b*at us.

CINDY: Look, guys, my cousin lent me

his official, major-league bat

signed by Tremendous Jackson himself.

Can I use it?

Me, too!

No, you can't use that.

This stuff's been lucky for us.

Changing now might jinx us.

Right-- that's why I've been wearing the same underwear

for the past six weeks.

ALL: Eww....

If we want to keep winning,

we keep using our old equipment.

WILLOUGHBY: Listen up.

I have an announcement:

Jimmy Neutron and his team

will be going to Nagoya, Japan,

for the Junior Baseball World Championships!

[ cheering]

Which just goes to show

that even the worst, most untalented athletes

can be great ifthey put their minds to it.

So... sayonara.

Um... guys, I think there's something I should tell you...

Me, too.

I-I hate to admit it, Neutron,

but, um, we wouldn't have gotten this far without you.

Yeah, for once and probably the only time in my life

I'm a wiener-- I mean, winner.

See how new it is?

My life-long dream has been to go to Japan.

I can finally meet Bonzilla!

So, Jimmy--

what was it

that you were going to say?

Um...

let's go to Japan?

[ cheering]

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the championship game

between the Retroville Nine

and, from Japan, the Super Dedicated Work Team!

Oh, I can't believe we're here.

I don't know how we did it.

Uh, yeah, neither do I.

Boy, I love this sushi stuff,

whatever it is.

Well, those were sea urchin eggs.

[ wretches]

Oh, maybe just one more.

Hey, my parents sent us

brand-new, state-of-the-art equipment to play with.

We can't use that stuff.

But it's shiny and it smells like victory.

I told you, we have to use our good-luck equipment.

Oh, but these henna- tinted gloves match my eyes.

No, I'm the captain of this team,

and what I say goes!

We use the old equipment.

ANNOUNCER: Will you now give an honorable welcome

to baseball legend Tremendous Jackson!

[ wild cheering]

Hey, Mr. Jackson,

can I ask you a question?

Sure thing, kid.

If Ultralord was a baseball pitcher

do you think you could get a home run off of him?

Well, if he used

his retroblast powers and proton ball

like he did in Ultralord versus the Gravity Suckers,

it'd be pretty hard.

Thank you.

As I gaze upon these players' young faces,

I am filled with pride.

They're here because of their hard work and patience

and long hours of practice,

not because of any high-tech gloves

or a*t*matic home-run-hitting bats.

Those things would make us all sick and ashamed.

I thank you.

Uh, guys, an emergency meeting.

Huddle up.

"Huddle up"?

That's football.

Or is it rugby, or luge?

Okay, look, I have to tell you something.

I knew it! I'm really Mike Piazza, aren't I?

No, Sheen, listen.

We haven't really been winning the games.

I neutronized our bat and gloves

so they'd hit and catch everything that came our way.

Neutron! How could you do something like that?

I'm sorry, I guess I hated losing so much

that I got carried away.

We'll just have to use different equipment.

But we can't really play these kids.

They'll m*rder us.

Maybe they won't.

What do you mean, Jim?

Don't you see?

We didn't used to be a team, but now we are,

and if we believe in our hearts and minds

that we arethe best team,

well, maybe we can bethe best team.

Now, who wants to go out there and win this game?!

[ cheering]

Somewhere in the Ritridian Galaxy, Ultralord weeps.

So what do we do now?

There's only one thing we can do.

That's Bonzilla?

What a rip-off!

He's only ten inches high.

He's a pip-squeak.

He couldn't hurt a...

[ screams]

Jimmy...

what's the Japanese word for "ambulance"?

[ coughs]

[ screams]

[ screams]

JIMMY: I don't know, guys.

$ is a lot of money.

Well, Doombringer II is a lot of game, Jim.

SHEEN: Now, remember--

it's for mature players only,

so act even more maturerer than we usually do.

I'll try and grow a mustache.

[ grunting]

My dad's over .

I'll act like him.

[ in deeper voice]: Well, howdy there,

clerky clerkotron.

b*at it, kids.

This game's for mature players only

due to v*olence, exaggerated mayhem and old lady kicking.

[ screaming]: That's not fair!

We're highly mature.

I demand my constipational rights.

[ all grunting]

SHEEN: How dare he throw your father out of the store!

Oh, come on, guys.

Let's go do something "age-appropriate."

Hey, you!

Check it out!

I'm staring at it with both eyes,

and you can't stop me.

[ grunts]

I stand corrected.

[ sighs]

I wish I could be years old right now.

Hmm, I suppose theoretically

a person could accelerate his metabolism to make himself ,

but it would be highly unethical.

You mean the only thing

standing between us and hot multiplayer action

is the difference between right and wrong?

Well, yeah, but guys...

Whoa!

[ electricity crackling]

So, um... how's it work?

Allow me to demonstrate using this acorn.

CARL: Oh, I get it.

Now we just get the tree to rent the game for us.

Don't be stupid, Carl.

First we teach it to drive, in case they ask for a photo ID.

No, guys, we use the metabolic accelerator to age ourselves.

Target age: .

Ready?

On the count of three.

One, two...

Please let me still like llamas.

Three!

Wow!

It's cool being old.

Behold my manful stride.

Uh, Jimmy, we all look the same.

Hmm, that's strange.

Then again, humans are more complex than acorns.

Which one of you guys wants to help me comb my back hair?

Or not.

Okay, well, maybe we should call it a day, guys.

I'm sure I'll be able to figure out the problem

after a good night's sleep.

[ alarm ringing]

[ alarm shuts off]

[ smacking lips]

Hmm.

[ screams]

[ screams]

[ screams]

[ doorbell ringing]

[ yells]

Jimmy, is that you wayover there?

Guys, something went horribly wrong.

Oh, geez, do you think?

And another thing-- these kids today wear their pants too low.

They're down under their stomachs, for crying out loud.

Maybe I shouldn't have made the all-important time brake

out of a soda can.

Fix us, Jimmy.

I don't want to be this old for more years.

Well, you won't have to, Carl.

According to my calculations,

we'll continue to age until we turn to dust

at : this evening.

But I'm allergic to dust.

Well, don't panic.

I just need to get ahold of enough titanium

to make a stronger time brake.

CARL: Jimmy, are you sure

your mom wants us to driver her car?

Well, I'm at least years old.

I think I can make my own decisions.

Hey, I know what you're doing!

You're trying to take me to the nursing home.

Let me out!

Let me out!

CARL: Sheen, careful.

This car's going in excess of seven miles an hour.

[ crash]

You know, when I was a kid, the sky was bluer

and a quarter would buy you groceries for a week.

Aw, gas planet!

Does anyone remember what we drove down here to get?

Well, I'd like a canary to talk to

while I watch TV and eat soup.

Hah!

Titanium-- that's it.

I think Jimmy wants us to follow him.

Yeah.

Of course I've always wanted to try

the Senior's Buffet at the Candy Bar.

Right behind you, my wrinkled friend.

[ panting]

Wait, proud senior, we will assist you.

Cindy-- oh, no.

Come on, he doesn't look interested.

Libby, do you want to earn

your Buttercup Girls helpfulness badge or not?

Take my arm, extremely old but still valuable senior citizen.

I don't need your girlie help.

Yeah, you do.

I do not!

Listen, Pops,we can do this the easy way

or we can earn our Tae Kwon Do badges at the same time.

Let go of me, you harpies.

I'll have the law on you.

Help!

I'm being old-napped.

[ slurping]

Hey, Oldilocks, what's the big idea,

you and your bingo buddy taking all the rice pudding

from the buffet?

It says seniors eat dessert free.

You're supposed to buy an entree first.

We did.

I had a hamburger in here yesterday.

[ Carl and Sheen laughing]

Oh, my spleen.

Now, what was it I wanted?

Something starting with a "T."

Tostadas, turpentine?

Well, hey, old-timer.

I like the way you're wearing your pants.

I've been thinking of wearing mine more like that,

maybe growing out my nose hair a little bit.

You look familiar.

Oh, no, I'm just a strange old man,

not your son after screwing up an experiment.

[ chuckles]

I know.

You remind me of myfather, except you're not always saying,

"Huey, I told you, toothpaste isn't food."

Not possible.

I don't have any family.

What?

Oh, well, that's terrible.

Come on.

Come with me, I'll get you a nice home-cooked meal.

B-but I can't.

I have to buy something with a "T."

I'll get you a nice cup of tea.

Let go! Come on.

I said, let me go!

Hey, look.

Mr. Neutron is trying

to get a helpfulness badge.

And I thought we were aggressive.

[ crunching]

Sheen, quit snapping your fingers.

I can't hear the music.

That's not my fingers, it's my spine.

[ cr*ck]

Hey, good-looking.

[ chuckles]

Want to get jiggy with me?

Oh, no thanks, old lady.

I'm full of pudding, so...

Hey, punk, you making time with my gal?

No.

What if he is,

Rumpled-face-skin?

Uh, I wasn't.

I don't even like girls yet.

I challenge you to a dance-off.

He accepts!

What?

No, I don't!

ALL: Dance-off.

Dance-off.

Dance-off.

Dance-off.

Dance-off.

[ big band music playing]

Here's your dinner.

I put it in the blender first

so the chewing doesn't tire you out.

So what did you do before you retired, old-timer?

I can't even remember what I'm supposed to be doing now,

but I think it's real important.

Well, you know, maybe if we guess,

it'll jog your memory.

Let's see.

Did it involve swinging heavy things?

N-No, I don't think so.

Well, that eliminates lumberjack and executioner.

I wish Jimmy would come in from the lab.

His dinner's getting cold.

Oh, Hugh, remind me to take the pie out at : .

: !

Oh, no, that's it.

I'm going to turn to dust in five minutes!

Oh, now don't say that.

These days doctors can keep a person alive

waypast their usefulness.

No, listen to me.

I'm your son, Jimmy,

and if I don't get out of here,

I'm going to keep aging until I turn to dust.

[ laughing]: Sure, you will, old-timer.

I've got to get that thing that starts with a "T."

A toaster?

No.

Turkey bacon?

No.

Okay, bye-bye, now.

[ sighs]

I can't wait until I'm so old that I babble like that.

Babble, babble, babble.

It's going to be great.

[ grunting]

Hey, Jimmy.

Sheen, we need something in the next two minutes

or we all turn to dust.

If it's rice pudding, we're in luck.

Carl won a lifetime supply at a dance contest.

Yeah.

Oh, and this titanium trophy.

Titanium?

That's it!

Follow me, and hurry.

JIMMY: One minute left.

Quick, hand me the trophy.

And you are...?

Hopefully this titanium will be a more stable time brake

as we try to revert to our original ages.

[ electricity crackling]

Through the beam, quickly.

How about a nap first to build up my strength?

No!

Sheen, help me out here.

[ snoring]

-- I've got bingo!

Guys, look, half price on prune-whip.

Half price!

What are we doing here?

[ groans]

My bursitis.

Get off my bunion!

Move, you old coot!

CARL: Who are you calling an old coot?

JIMMY: Well, if the corrective shoe fits.

I'm coming, prune whip.

Well, I certainly learned my lesson.

Yep, it's really true-- rice pudding is nature's gruel.

Uh... actually, I meant that being a kid

is a pretty good deal.

You got that right, brother.

Carl, what are you eating?

Just some prune whip from your lab.

Carl, there wasn't any prune whip.

That's my experimental truth-telling serum.

Oh, Jimmy, that's ridic...

I stole Jimmy's toast the other day.

Sometimes I dream about girls.

Maybe we'd better go.

Ultralord doesn't exists.

La-la-la... I don't want to hear it!

My mom's really .

I just ripped...

Make him stop!

[ dog barks]

Hi, I'm Paul.

JIMMY: Got to blast!