02x05 - Monster Hunt/Jimmy for President

[bunniefuu]

Got to blast!

♪ Into the stars, goin' by Candy Bar's ♪

♪ Rides a kid with a knack for invention ♪

[ gasps]

♪ With a super-powered mind, a mechanical canine ♪

[ barks]

♪ He rescues the day from sure destruction ♪

Help!

♪ This is the theme song

[ screams]

♪ For Jimmy Neutron.

[ mechanical whirring]

[ barking]

[ yells]

and NICKELODEON

[ theme fromJaws playing]

[ squawks]

There's nothing like a cool, crisp, refreshing swim.

Oh, Winifred.

You're like some sun-baked, spray-drenched goddess, yeah.

[ theme fromJaws playing]

I feel like I'm again.

[ theme fromJaws playing]

[ screams]

Wini?

Where are you?

Wini?!

[ roaring]

[ yells]

[ gasping]

[ screaming]

Carl, stop screaming.

The meeting hasn't even started yet.

Sorry, Jimmy,

but the very idea of a lake monster fills me with terror.

But, Carl, lake monsters

are part of the glorious dance of life.

There is no lake monster.

This meeting's probably been called

to dispel the rumors.

My good friends, as mayor of Retroville

I refuse to let some hideous moss-sucking lake monster

destroy our tourist industry.

That's why I've commissioned local videographers

Cindy Vortex and Libby Folfax

to present evidence at these hearings.

Ladies?

Thank you, Mr. Mayor.

Lights!

Six months ago,

giant reptilian footprints began appearing

along the shores of Lake Retroville.

LIBBY: Since then, dozens of eyewitnesses

including the recently rescued Miss Fowl and Sam

have reported encounters

with a mysterious underwater behemoth.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I give you the lake monster.

[ audience gasps, shrieks]

[ gasping and shrieking stops]

[ gasping and shrieking continues]

Boy, you've got to be kidding-- that's no lake monster.

It looks more like a log or a big sturgeon.

I say it's a lake monster.

And I say your brain

is as fuzzy as your photographs.

This lake monster is nothing more

than an anecdotal confabulation.

That sounds serious.

Fellow Retrovillians,

I am offering all the money

in our monster- capturing fund--

that is a whopping $ . --

to anyone who can trap this beast.

$ . ? I could buy a new cyclotron with that.

Mr. Mayor, what if I can prove

that the lake monster doesn'texist?

Well, I could transfer the money

to the "Prove-The-Monster- Doesn't-Exist" fund.

Done.

Carl, Sheen-- to the lake!

[ screaming]

You going to keep doing that?

I'm sorry, Jim.

I just have some bad associations with this lake.

Everyone has something they're afraid of, Carl.

For me it's the crawl space under grandma's house.

For you it's a stupid lake.

What happened here, Carl?

Well, two years ago

I came here with my pet turtle, Snappy.

CARL: He was my best friend, but I was allergic to him.

So I had to release him right here on this beach.

And ever since, the lake has filled me

with feelings of nausea, blind terror,

and then more nausea.

Well, don't worry, Carl.

This won't take long.

A few quick scans of the lake

is all I'll need to prove

that this lake monster is a big fraud.

Fraud, be it, eh, Chief?

CARL: Red Pirate?!

No, no, Carl, this is Captain Betty.

I chartered his boat

so we can look for the creature.

I seen the monster with me own eyes--

feet it was from beak to tail.

Eyes black as pitch, like a doll's eyes.

You mean "action figures."

So you say you've actually seen the monster?

Aye, Chief, and he give me this

as a souvenir.

[ Carl screams]

Wow! Hey, Jimmy, can we get prosthetic limbs

after the monster att*cks us?

There is no monster.

And even if we do find something,

I've got more than enough equipment to deal with...

[ guffawing]

Gadgets go in the water.

You go in with the gadgets.

Monster in the water.

Our monster.

Wait, who goes in the water?

You do.

Why'd the monster go in with the gadgets?

The monster goes in with the water.

Our monster?

Argh, enough with

the flibiddy-jibber.

We'd best get all this fancy gear onboard me boat.

[ spewing seafaring gibberish]

Captain Betty's cool.

He's like the scurvy, lice-ridden uncle I never had.

Well, guys, are you ready to hit the lake?

[ retching]

Ready.

Sonar scan of grid completed--

still no monster.

Rabbit goes in the hole, does a back flip,

comes out of the hole,

starts hacking up phlegm,

runs around a tree, passes out.

I did it, Captain Betty.

I tied my very first

double-hitched, joint-stemmed bow line.

Oh, nicely done, laddy buck.

I like the cut of your jib.

That is why I made you this.

Wow!

A genuine scrimshaw peashooter-- awesome.

Notice how the turtle bone's shaved wafer thin.

I love you, Captain Betty.

Grid complete.

Another pass and I think we're done here.

Are you out of your mind?

Listen, you fancy-talking little maguppy.

You're wasting Captain Betty's time with this junk.

Say, Captain, I've been wondering.

Why are you "Betty"?

[ laughs]

Thereby hangs a tale.

I was on me maiden voyage, I was--

harvested sea monkeys for a local mail order company.

We took a hit to port.

I staggered to me feet

and was greeted by a maw the size of Hoboken.

The monster cracked open the cargo bin.

Our hard-won monkeys went spilling down

into its hideous gullet.

Have you ever heard a sea monkey scream, Chief?

'Tis a high-pitched, almost annoying kind of sound.

[ high pitched, annoying sound]

So, Chief, sea monkeys go into the water.

None come out.

June , .

And that's why they call me "Betty."

Okay, I think I missed something.

What's your problem?

He couldn't have been more clearer.

I'll tell you what's clear:

You're a loony old boat jockey

with salt on the brain.

Know what else?

This voyage is over

unless someone can explain in the next ten seconds

how a giant reptilian monster could possibly exist

in a manmade freshwater ecosystem.

Ya-hoy, Jimbo!

Dad?

Hi there, Sport.

Just dumping some of the runoff from your lab.

But, Dad, that's highly contaminated chemical sludge.

How long have you been doing this?

Oh, the last few years or so.

Well, got to get rowing.

Bye-bye now.

This could be very bad.

Uh, Jimmy?

I think we need a bigger boat.

Jimmy-- that was my turtle.

That was Snappy.

Oh, no-- the contaminants from my lab

must have mutated him.

Snappy is the lake monster.

[ laughing]

[ guffawing]

[ screams]

[ all screaming]

[ monster gulps]

[ monster snarling, boys screaming]

[ yelps]

Hang on, guys, I'll try to get a line on him.

[ fishing reel whirring]

[ crackling]

[ roaring]

Sheen, take the helm and give me full reverse.

I'll do it for Captain Betty.

Full reverse, Chief-- atomic batteries to power.

Argh!

Carl, ready on the freeze charges.

Pull, Chief, put your back into it.

Deploying the freeze charges.

[ boys screaming]

I think it's working.

Once we get Snappy encased in ice,

I'll feed him this de-mutation pellet.

Oh... it won't hurt him, will it?

Not at all, Carl.

In fact, it should return him to normal.

But... but...

He should have been trapped inside the ice.

What happened?

[ roaring]

Are you okay, Jimmy?

Yeah, yeah, b-but where's Sheen?

Sheen?

[ panting]

SHEEN: Don't worry, mateys--

I survived by breathing through me peashooter.

Peashooter?

That's it.

With a clean sh*t, we might get this pellet

down Snappy's throat.

I'll do it, Jimmy.

Snappy's my turtle.

If anyone's doing to de-mutate him, it ought to be me.

[ Snappy snarling in distance]

[ roaring]

He's going to ram us-- hurry, Carl.

[ Carl panting]

Here, Snappy.

Nice boy...

Smile, you son of a sea turtle.

[ gulps]

You did it, Carl-- you de-mutated Snappy.

Snappy!

[ coughing]

Nicely done, Chiefy.

Captain Betty, you're alive?

Aye.

The beast spewed me out of its belly

at the last minute.

Well, Captain--

guess you were right about the lake monster.

Sorry we wrecked your boat.

Ah, don't you worry, Chief.

A few hours of paddling will get us safely to shore.

SHEEN: How about a lusty paddling tune, Captain?

♪ Farewell and adieu

♪ All you cankled young ladies ♪

CAPTAIN BETTY AND SHEEN: ♪ Farewell and adieu

♪ Though my song is quite lame

ALL: ♪ For we received orders to sail to Pacoima ♪

♪ And then nevermore will we eat cheese again. ♪

Well, class, it's that most exciting time of the year again.

Summer vacation?

So long, suckers!

[ crash]

Sheen, must you do that every week?

It's time to elect a new class president.

Who's interested?

If I were president, I could bring Lindbergh school

into the st century with state-of-the-art science.

President Sheen.

I'd be an inspiration to C+ students everywhere.

Libby, I can't run

because of that silly little incident last year.

Stuffing the ballot boxes with your name.

That was never proven.

Anyway, why don't you run and I'll be your manager?

Sounds good to me.

I can redesign this whole school.

WILLOUGHBY: Hi-ho, class.

We have a new foreign exchange student

joining us from Bakheristan.

Please welcome Bolbi Stroganovsky.

Hello, fellow learners.

Call me Bolbi.

I pretty much like you.

H-hello.

We were just seeing who wanted to run for...

I run-- I fast.

MISS FOWL: No, Bolbi.

It doesn't mean run around the room.

It means run for the office of class president.

Oh, I do that, too.

So the candidates are Jimmy, Sheen,Libby

and the boy with the funny name.

[ tapping]: Testing-- okay.

[ clears throat]

Our first candidate to speak will be Sheen Estevez.

My fellow Lindberghians.

If elected president,

I shall install guacamole bars in all classrooms

and UltraLord tattoos will be mandatory.

[ silence]

Principal Willoughby--

Tear down your wall!

Sheen, I think you're done.

Okay, bye-bye.

Next we have Libby Folfax.

LIBBY: And kick it!

[ hip-hop music blaring]

♪ What's up, y'all?

♪ Ready for the word?

If I'm elected,

I promise you minutes of funk every day.

Can you handle that?

Tell it, sister!

[ loud acclamations]

Can we afford funk every day?

We will also start wearing uniforms...

[ kids groan]

from the hottest fashion designers.

[ kids cheering]

Oh, I would look so hot in that.

So, vote for Libby and get your glow on.

You heard?

[ cheering]

Top that, Neutron.

Fellow students-- I'm not going to promise you

flashy clothes or polyrhythmic music

or... [ chuckles] guacamole bars.

That's because you don't know the secret ingredient.

It's love.

I will promise you thermonuclear lockers,

titanium cafeteria trays...

[ all snoring]

antimatter rest rooms...

Well, you sure know

a lot of big words, Jimmy.

So, don't forget to vote tomorrow, children.

Wait, you forget Bolbi.

I speech, I speech, I speech... words.

Oh, right.

The little boy from Fairy-tale Land.

Go ahead, son.

[ microphone feedback]: Vote for Bolbi.

We slap-dance every day.

Like home.

♪ Slap, slap, slap

♪ Clap, clap, clap

♪ Slap, slap, slap

♪ Clap, clap, clap

♪ Slap, slap, slap.

CINDY: First stop, Wheezer's house.

[ knocking rhythmically]

[ doorbell rings]

Carl, I want to talk to you about my deep concern for...

llamas.

Did you know they're endangered?

Noo!

If elected president,

my first concern will be llama protection.

Do I have your vote?

You got it.

CARL: Ow!

The pin went inside me.

And just to make sure we understand each other.

Um, Cindy, you accidentally left a dollar in my hand.

Keep it.

Why?

You know why.

I-I-I don't!

Why are you winking at me?

Why did you give me a dollar?

Ahh, my brain hurts.

I'm paying you to vote for Libby.

Oh, I get it.

I will.

But why did you wink?

Do you like me?

[ giggles foolishly]

[ groans]

You're voting for Libby?

What is wrong with you?

You can't vote for her.

Why not?

I'll give you three reasons.

One, she's a female.

Two, she's not a boy.

And three, and most importantly, she's a girl!

But I promised Libby I would vote for her

and Cindy gave me a dollar.

Listen, Carlito-- you better vote for me

or I'll show everybody that embarrassing photo

of you at Ike's slumber party.

[ yelps]

Which one?

The one with the bubbles.

You win!

Try me.

Ow.

That pin went in me, too.

Okay, I'll vote for you, Sheen.

[ doorbell rings]

♪ Slap, slap, slap

♪ Clap, clap, clap

[ outside]: ♪ Slap, slap, slap

♪ Clap, clap, clap.

[ slams door]

[ inside]: Ow.

[ doorbell rings]

What???!!!

I happened to be in the neighborhood...

Hey, why are you wearing

Libby and Sheen and Bolbi buttons?

Who are you voting for?

I... I... I don't know!!

Carl, I'm your best friend.

You got to vote for me.

I know, but the money

and the picture and slap, slap, slap.

Ow!

Stop the world, I want to get off!

[ slams door]

Carl might not vote for me?

Well, no problem.

It's just one vote.

[ chanting]: Do the right thing.

Vote for Libby.

I'd better assess the situation scientifically.

Goddard-- emergency poll.

[ barks]

BOY : I'm not voting for Jimmy Neutron.

BOY : Me neither.

BOY : I'm voting for Libby.

BOY : Sheen is my man.

JIMMY: I'm dead last?

Behind Bolbi?

♪ Slap, slap, slap

♪ Clap, clap, clap

♪ Slap, slap, slap

♪ Clap, clap, clap.

Yeah... be the wind.

Hey, Mr. President.

How goes the campaign?

I'm dead last in the polls.

Maybe I laid it on a little too thick

with all the science.

Well, Jimbo, I'm no stranger to politics myself.

I was elected towel boy in junior high.

My motto was "Vote for Hugh.

"If you can't trust him

"with your dirty, smelly, wet laundry towels,

who can you trust?"

It was hard to fit all that

on those little buttons, but I did it.

Anyway, what's really important

is you have to give a little razzle-dazzle.

Kick out the jam-- sock it to 'em.

[ gives a weak cheer]

Razzle-dazzle, huh?

Election day-- I smell victory.

[ sniffs]

No way.

That is marinated gunk-a-bob.

[ slurping]

Mmm, just like Ferupian Trepid used to make.

Don't worry, Libby.

If you lose today [ licks]...

you can still be my first lady.

Get a life, Sheen.

[ thud]

So where's Science-boy?

Probably gave up

and isn't even coming to school.

[ all gasp]

Mmm, it's a delicious mist of purple flurp.

And free gum.

[ screams]

Confetti in my eyes.

[ spirited band music playing]

BOTH: ♪ There is a boy

♪ A certain boy

♪ Who every single one of you should vote for today ♪

♪ Who is this boy?

♪ Our pride and joy

♪ He is the best, there's no contest ♪

♪ It's Jimmy Neutron Hey!

♪ Vote for Jimmy, he's so cool

♪ Make him president of your school ♪

♪ Vote Neutron!

[ singers giggling]

Yay!

[ cheering]

The polls are open.

Time to vote.

[ kids cheering and whistling]

President Neutron.

Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

[ humming melody]

FOWL: I have the election results.

The winner, or should I say winners,

are Jimmy, Sheenand Libby.

It's a tie.

Oh, it's just like Barbra Streisand

and Katherine Hepburn at the ' Oscars.

Somebody pinch me.

Okey-dokey.

[ screams]

... , , .

Wait a minute-- someone didn't vote.

That person needs to vote to decide the election.

Who didn't vote?

[ gasps]

Why is everyone looking at me?

I couldn't decide, okay?!

Too much pressure.

Carl, you have to vote.

It's your patriotic duty.

There's more you-know-what if you vote for Libby.

[ blowing kisses]

Best friend.

[ panting]: Palpitations.

Hot flashes.

Blood pressure rising.

I'm just saying guacamole.

[ heart pounding]

[ screams]

Cindy gave me a dollar to vote for Libby.

Sheen was blackmailing me with a photo.

Jimmy was playing the best-friend-card

and using scantily clad women.

[ humming and whistling]

It has come to my attention

that some of our candidates have been guilty of bribery,

blackmail and m*rder!

[ outburst]

Sorry, not m*rder.

I meant to say operating a zeppelin on school premises.

Anyway, they're all illegal campaign practices.

Jimmy, Sheenand Libby are disqualified.

[ candidates groan]

Oh, man.

We've learned a powerful lesson.

[ clears throat]

Democracy is a fragile butterfly.

It depends on an honest electoral process.

Shh, our president is about to speak.

[ music begins]

Okay, your president says

cut the jabber and start the slapping!

♪ Slap, slap, slap

♪ Clap, clap, clap

♪ Slap, slap, slap

♪ Clap, clap, clap

♪ Everybody-- slap, slap, slap... ♪

Hi, I'm Paul.

JIMMY: Got to blast!