01x13 - Santa/Trophy/Makeup

[bunniefuu]

[playful electronic music]

[no audible dialogue]

[electronic communication in alien language]

[excited babbling]

[communication continues]

[intones sternly]

[muttering]

[beeping]


-[mutters]
-[babbles]

[zooming]

[clanging]


-Ah!
-[excited babbling]

[all] Man bop!

[shivering babbling]

[mutters frantically]


-[concerned babbling]
-[clanking]


-[grunting with effort]
-[scraping]

[mutters shakily]

[beeping]

[babbles excitedly]

[clanging]

[grunting with effort]


-[confused babbling]
-Uh?


-[screaming] Whoa!
-[thud]


-[Ixbee grunts]
-Hey!


-[screaming] Ah!
-[thud]


-[babbles energetically]
-[thud]


-[thumping]
-[groaning babbling]

[groaning continues]


-[grunting with effort]
-[banging]


-[confused babbling]
-[grumbles angrily]

[clanking]

[enthusiastic babbling]


-[thud]
-[hoarse coughing]

[choking]

[grumbles]

[beeping]

[agreeing]

[beeping]

[popping]

[astounded babbling]


-[curiously] Man bop?
-Man bop?

[quiet babbling]


-[beeping]
-Man bop!


-Man bop.
-[cheerful babbling]


-[sighs]
-[softly] Man bop?

[muttering]

[snoring]

Ah? Man bop?

[grumbles]

[interested babbling]

[inspired babbling]

[muttering]

[babbles curiously]

[cheerful babbling]

[popping]


-Ah ha.
-Mee mo ah.

[grunting] Mah.

[sniffs deeply]

[disgusted muttering]

[intrigued muttering]

[beeping]

[repulsed muttering]

[kissing sound]


-Blech.
-[revolted babbling]

[reluctant muttering]

[both] Mwah!

[yelps]

[babbling]

[shuddering] Uh!

Wha?


-[babbles playfully]
-[kissing sound]

[kissing sound]


-[babbling]
-[kissing sound]


-[mutters angrily]
-Hey!

[whines]

[babbles sadly]

[sighing] Ha!

[mutters]

[beeping]

[Meep] Ooh!

Hmm.

[chuckles softly]

[giddy whispering]

[thump]


-[babbles frantically]
-Man bop!


-[muffled babbling]
-[angrily] Oh!

[mutters]


-[beeping]
-Man bop!

[popping]


-[grunting with effort]
-[thud]

[babbles instructively]


-[humming]
-[hollow tapping]

[babbles inquiringly]

Mee meep?


-[beeping]
-Man bop.


-[uneasily] Huh.
-Ah
-ha!

[popping]

[bewildered babbling]

[beeping]


-Mm.
-Man bop. Man bop. Man bop!


-[sighs heavily]
-[mutters]

[babbles inquiringly]

Mee meep? Hmm.

[babbling]


-[sadly] Mah.
-[mutters suggestively]

[babbles desperately]

[mutters angrily]


-[both] Humph!
-[mutters bitterly]


-[beeping]
-Mah!


-[gasps]
-[excited giggling]

[beeping]

[ordering]

Wah
-ha!


-Ah!
-Mee mo ma.


-[distant sirens]
-Ah? Uh
-oh.


-Ah!
-Mee mo ma!


-[excited babbling]
-[helicopter blades whirring]

[alarmed babbling]

[inaudible warning over loudspeaker]

[frightened hollering]


-[frantic babbling]
-[helicopter blades whirring]

[panting heavily]

[Santa] Ho! Ho! Ho!


-[stunned] Man bop.
-[all] Yay!

[joyful babbling]

[cheering]

[English voiceover] Greetings, beings of the universe.

Santa Claus. He's seemingly everywhere.

But if you want to interview him,

this stealthy elf is suddenly nowhere to be found.

However, if you're on your best behaviour,

he may just leave you a special treat when you least expect it.

And now we will celebrate Earth's Christmas as the humans do

by contracting our throat muscles back and forth

to form wondrous Christmas noises.

["We Wish you a Merry Christmas"] ♪ Meee... ♪

♪ Me me me me
-me me
-me ♪ ♪ Me me me me me
-me me
-me ♪

♪ Me me me me me
-me me
-me ♪

♪ Me me me
-me me
-me ♪

[electronic communication in alien language]

[grumbles]


-[conversation continues]
-[sickening crunch]


-[all] Ah!
-[whimpers]


-[grumbles sternly]
-[twinkling]

[all] Ah!

[intones angrily]


-[babbles eagerly]
-Ah?


-Ooh!
-[loud thud]


-[groans]
-[giggles]

[clanging]


-[babbling]
-[thud]


-Oh!
-[mutters]

[muffled babbling]


-Uh.
-[splatting]


-Oh.
-[mutters]


-Oh!
-[splatting]


-[grunting with effort]
-[splatting]

[babbles eagerly]


-Whoo... Wah!
-[splatting]

Ah?

[splatting]

[nervous babbling]

Ah, ah, oh!

[groans]

[grumbles angrily]

Ah
-ha!

[whooshing]

[chomps noisily]


-[whacking]
-[grumbles in pain]

[beeping]

[babbles excitedly]

[mutters aggressively]


-[ordering]
-[babbles frantically]

[metallic thud]


-[groans in pain]
-[mutters]


-[beeping]
-[amazed babbling]

[both] Whoa, whoa!

[twirling]

[gasps in awe] Ooh!


-Ha.
-[sighs dreamily]

[slurps]

Ha... [farting]


-[whooshing]
-Oh!

[clanging]

[sarcastically] Mee mee mee...

[growling]

[snarls]

[growling]

[gurgles menacingly]

[cheerily] Mee mo!

[goofily] Ga gah!


-[giggles]
-[sternly] Ga gah!

Ga gah.

[all] Hmm.

[chaotic babbling]

[mutters]

[babbles suggestively]

[burbles curiously]

[babbles instructively]

[taunting sneers]


-Er...
-[chomping]

[mutters helplessly]

[grumbles impatiently]

[babbles]


-Mah.
-[snaps hungrily]


-[mutters]
-[sticks clashing]

Gabba gabba gabba!

[rapid tapping]

[chaotic blathering]


-Ah?
-Uh!

[frenzied burbling]


-Ho
-hey
-Hup
-hup.

Hup!


-[popping]
-Oh?

[beeping]

[whistling]

[mutters angrily]

[beeping]

Ah
-ha
-ha!


-[shrill whistle blowing]
-Hmm?


-[ordering]
-Bah gah!

[blows raspberry]

[underwater whistle blowing]

[burbles]

[griping]

Ah. [chomps noisily]

[whistle blowing]

[whistle blowing]

[frenzied babbling]

[goal horn blares]

[gasping]


-[ecstatic babbling]
-Heh.

[garbles]

Gah... Boop.

[goal horn blares]

[laughing]

[garbles]

[frenzied hollering]

[horn blaring nonstop]

[hollering continues]

[shouting]

[groans tiredly]

[garbles]

[babbling]

[babbles encouragingly]

[mutters tiredly]

Ha baa!

[sliding]

Ooh!

Zinga zinga zingah!

Zup.

[goal horn blares]

[overjoyed cheering]

[garbles]

[garbles triumphantly]

[cheering]


-Mah!
-[distant laughter]

Jub jah!


-[thudding]
-[screaming]

[victorious babbling]

Huh?

[mutters dismissively]

[English voiceover] Greetings, interplanetary inhabitants.

While our species prefers to settle our disputes through logic and reasoning,

the people of Earth do so in a very different way.

Humans prefer to gather on a block of frozen water

and settle their differences by snagging small hard discs with sticks.

The victor is ultimately selected based on who can make the most buzzer noises,

and is rewarded with an oversized bowl.

This is Ixbee, reporting from the planet

with the strangest conflict resolution in the universe:

Earth.

[ringing]

[summons angrily]


-[frenzied babbling]
-[intones sternly]

Mee mee
-mee.

[grumbles]

Meep mo mop mo.

Aah...

Me he he he.

[grumbles]

[excited babbling]

[beeping]

[muttering]


-Ah!
-[beeping]


-[electric buzzing]
-Huh?


-[thump]
-Ah! Bay bo.

[intones angrily]

[babbling]

[grumbles angrily]

[babbling]


-[mutters]
-[babbles uncertainly]

[clanking]

[excited babbling]


-Ha!
-[babbling]

Hmm.

[creaking]


-[whispers]
-Whoa.

Ooh.

[curious babbling]

Ah! Meep mo ma.

Ah! Mee mo.

[meeps rhythmically]

Mee meep?

Aw...

[sadly] Me mo ma mee mee.

[babbling]

[mutters]

Mah? Muh?

[shrieks]

[startled babbling]

[mutters soothingly]

[beeping]

Ooh!


-[humming]
-[slathering]

[mumbles]


-[Ixbee] Meep.
-Ah!

[mutters sharply]

[splatting]

Wap?

[tearfully] Ooh.

[gasping]

Oh!

[babbles]


-[beeping]
-Ah!

Haf dee ma.

Hmm... Hmm!

[babbles uncertainly]


-[meeps pensively]
-[beeping]

[beeping]

Hey... Map mee mo mo.


-[meeps rhythmically]
-[mutters]

[babbles unhappily]

[mutters]

[clattering]

[babbles gratefully]

[meeps rhythmically]

[sighs]

[meeps rhythmically]

Wha.

[meeps rhythmically]

Huh! Aw.

[mutters]

[shrieks]

[violent coughing]

Ah.

[startled] Oh!


-[grumbles]
-[giggles]

Ooh! Uh.

Meep mop ma?

[squeaking]

Oh!

[grumbles angrily]

Yeesh... Uh.

[babbles thoughtfully]


-[squeaking]
-[muffled grunts]

[gasps]


-Mee mee bop?
-[Ixbee gasps]

[alarmed babbling]

[moaning]

[babbles shyly]


-[babbles frantically]
-[squeaking]


-[smacking]
-[muffled grunts]

[laughs uneasily]

[mutters nasally]


-[babbles remorsefully]
-[squishing]

[fascinated gasps]

[babbles excitedly]

Mm...

[babbling]

[curious babbling]

[meeps repetitively]

[chortling babbling]

[stunned shrieks]


-[screams]
-[splatting]

[bubbling]

[babbling]

[bubbling]

[mutters]

[grunting with effort]

Hmm?


-[clanking]
-[mutters eagerly]


-[panicked babbling]
-[rapid thudding]


-[frantic thudding]
-[grunting with effort]

[clanking]

[squishing]

[screaming] Oh! Oh!


-Oh.
-[coughs]


-Ooh.
-Ah!

[muffled muttering]


-[spitting] Pah!
-[twinkling]

[babbling]

[determined babbling]

[babbles enthusiastically]

[alarmed muttering]

[shakily] Whoa! Huh.

[whispering babbles]

[whimpers]


-[thudding]
-Uh.

[babbles timidly]

[babbles anxiously]

[English voiceover] Greetings, beings throughout the galaxies.

Of all the human's puzzling behaviours,

their strangest is a form of human disguise,

in which they spend hours and hours hiding what they really look like.

And then host large events at which they turn up

wearing their carefully applied disguises,

but still want to be recognized as who they really are!

This behaviour makes us ask:

Are humans the most complicated species ever discovered?

Though I must admit, I do look simply stunning.

This is Ixbee, reporting from the planet that's simply complex:

Earth.