[theme music]
[Christmas music]
Good lord.
Mary, why did you turn it off
before the song was over?
Joannie, aren't you getting
just a little tired
of Christmas music?
No, I could listen
to it all year.
Yeah, well, I can't.
Every place you go, fa la la la.
- It's an overkill.
- Bah, humbug!
Yeah, well, to you too.
Help me get this tree out
before Nicholas comes out?
- Oh, boy. Scrooge!
- Yeah.
- Ugh.
- Come on take it from the back.
- Okay, okay, okay.
- Okay, okay, okay.
Look, you can do all that
family junk tomorrow.
♪ Angels watch
and shepherds sing ♪
Is that for tomorrow?
♪ What child is this
who laid to ♪♪
No, it's for tomorrow.
A turkey's traditional
for Christmas day,
didn't you know that?
Oh, here we usually
all cook.
Everyone cooks one thing.
Oh, that sounds like fun.
Yeah, it is. Last year
we had eight deserts, a pizza
and alfalfa sprouts salad.
Eight deserts, a pizza,
and alfalfa sprouts salad?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- I got sick.
- I don't blame you.
Can you help me?
Nicholas, you see I have all
this-this stuff to do, I--
- Is dad home?
- Yeah. He's in, uh..
Working on his column.
Bye, Nicholas.
Tommy, will you help me
with something?
No, later.
(Tommy)
'No, I don't wanna see it
after Christmas'
I wanna see it now.
Yeah, okay.
Goodbye.
Hi, Selena.
Yeah, how does
a movie and a pizza hit ya?
'Oh, you don't like pizza?'
'Yeah. Okay,
thanks anyway, I understand.'
'Goodbye.'
Shucks.
Now will you help me?
Why, yeah, yeah.
In a minute, in a minute.
What are you writing?
My New Year's column.
Why don't you write
a Christmas column?
I already did.
It's in today's paper.
How can you write a Christmas
column before Christmas
and New Year's column
before New Year's?
Well, I, uh..
Beca-because that's
the way it's done.
Nicholas, I have to get
this done by tonight, shh.
Well, then I guess you don't
have time to help me either.
Oh, sure I do, Nicholas.
What's the problem?
How can I stretch this sock?
Why do you
wanna stretch that sock?
So I can get more presents.
Everyone else has big socks.
I'm gonna get chipped.
Oh. Well, why don't you use
the show stretcher?
It's up in my closet.
Thanks, dad.
New Year's resolution,
don't write anymore
pontificating articles
about New Year's!
Exclamation point.
- What?
- Nothing.
Bye-bye.
[sighs]
[door bell ringing]
Oh, special delivery
for Mary Bradford.
I'm Nicholas.
Well, can you
sign your name, Nicholas?
Sure. I'm in the third grade.
Give me your
John Hancock right there.
Huh?
Oh! Uh, sign.
There you are, Nicholas.
- See you later.
- Okay.
Nancy, don't roll
it too tight, okay.
Come on, don't worry.
You'll look like Miss America
compared to her.
Who's her?
Gary's mother's
best friend's daughter
which gives Gary two dates.
Me and her.
Well, at least you've
got half a date. It's not fair.
It's not our fault
your date
had to come down
with the measles.
Hey, don't blame me,
I didn't give 'em to him.
Well, that's too bad. I mean,
it would have been so romantic
spending Christmas eve
itching under the mistletoe.
Ho ho ho.
Nancy, all I'm asking
is to give it a try.
Look, no one worth going out
with is available this late.
Uh, just try. I mean,
I might get lucky, you know.
And maybe some place,
somewhere out there
some girl got sick
and her guy is stuck.
Yeah, somewhere, someplace
funsies' date is sitting home
with red spots
all over her face.
Yeah.
Nancy, just ask Alan,
if you'll ask--
Susan, I am not making
a fool of myself.
- So, forget it.
- Forgotten, forgotten.
All I can say is..
- Merry Christmas!
- Oh, yeah, Merry Christmas.
Listen, I have to finish
my Christmas column.
Dad, wait,
you haven't met Noreen.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Noreen Hill,
my father Tom Bradford.
- How do you do, Noreen?
- How do you do, sir?
- Let me help you with those.
- Thank you.
We came early
so that we could help.
Oh, really? That was
very thoughtful, thank you.
Because we have to leave early.
Yeah, well, we need all the help
we can get because..
Wh-what do you mean
you have to leave early?
We're going
to spend Christmas day
with Noreen's folks in Monterey.
We thought we'd drive all night
so we could be there all day.
Oh.
Oh, I know
I usually stick around
with the family
on Christmas day, but..
Well, you know it's a little
different this year anyway.
Different?
[indistinct chattering]
Hey, there, Abby, we bought
the tree and it's great, smell.
- Oh, smell. Oh, nice.
- Christmas, mmm.
- Nicholas didn't see, did he?
- Mm-hm.
Not unless
he's sneakier than we are.
- Do you need any help?
- I thought you'd never ask.
I don't know how to do this.
Well, I'll just
scrub up, like we do
in beginning surgery .
Mary,
there are other Med Schools..
Just because you didn't get
into the one you applied to
doesn't mean that nobody wants
you. You're a nice girl--
Right, and there
is a Santa Claus--
Oh, come on, Mary.
It's Christmas.
Fa la la la la la la.
- Oh, boy.
- Oh, boy.
Scrooge.
[door bell ringing]
- Hi, Joannie.
- Hi, Donna.
- Oh, Merry Christmas.
- Yeah, you too.
- Come in.
- Thank you, thank you.
Where's my boss?
- Here's the boss.
- Oh, hello.
- Donna, how nice to see you.
- Nice to see you too.
- Oh, oh, that's funny, yes.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Brought you little something.
Merry Christmas.
- You shouldn't have done that.
- Oh, it's nothing.
Dad, you're opening it already?
- Certainly.
- Yeah.
[indistinct chattering]
'Oh, it's my Christmas column.'
Yeah. Perma plaqued.
This is nice.
Would you rather have had a tie?
What color?
Oh, dad!
Come on, let me see this.
Hey, this is nice.
"Yes, Nicholas,
there is a Santa Claus
"by Tom Bradford.
"Every year about this time
I find myself wondering
"if Christmas has
the same meaning to my children
"as it had to me as a boy.
"It's a loaded question
of course
"yet still worth asking.
"For Christmas
is a time for both rejoicing
"and assessing
the value of our lives.
'"My family is fortunate enough
to live in a nice house'
'"in a pleasant part of town.'
'"There's a large expanse
of lawn, a big backyard
'"and in our garage
are two cars.'
'"A third one sits
in the driveway.'
(Sam)
'"Our house
is filled with things'
'"television sets, radios,
phonographs, tape recorders'
'"and underneath our tree
this year'
'"will be more things.'
'But does this material wealth
really matter?'"
I'm glad you asked,
Mr. Bradford?
I hate to bother you, but
I think we should settle this.
Look, I have to finish
this New Year's day column.
Sometime before January st.
- Did you tell him?
- I'm trying to tell him.
The half of this family
is not gonna be here tonight
and I don't know
who's running off tomorrow.
- David.
- David what?
Is running off
to Monterey with Noreen.
- Who's Noreen?
- She's on the sun porch.
They're spending Christmas
with her folks.
Gary can't pick me up.
His father won't let him
leave her alone. Nancy said that
her date won't drive me.
If Nancy gets her date
to drive Elizabeth
then why can't she get him
to ask for a date for me?
Would you mind
telling me who him and her are?
Alan Cumming is the sweetest guy
in Sacramento and I'm not gonna
risk loosing him
by makin' him a match-maker
for the Bradford family.
Hey, everyone, here,
I want you to meet Noreen.
- Hi.
- Hello, Noreen.
(all)
Hello, Noreen.
Well, that's the family.
Once you get to know them
you'll really
think they're weird.
Tommy, will you
help me with this?
- With what?
- This.
Nicholas, what do you want
a shoe stretcher for?
So I can stretch my sock.
So I can get more presents.
And you think uh,
old Santa Claus
is gonna fill it
right to the top, huh?
'Let me let you in
on a little secret, Nicholas.'
Santa Claus
is on a very strict budget.
He doesn't have enough
to go around, that means
little kids get last pickings.
- Really?
- Yeah.
But I tell you what,
why don't you put up two socks
instead of one? Maybe
the old guy can't read so well.
Thanks, Tommy.
I mean, I-I don't wanna force
the kids to do anything.
But they always
stayed home before, right?
I mean, uh, well,
why not this Christmas?
Oh, they're growing up
I guess.
Yeah, but-but Tom,
it's traditional at Christmas.
I mean,
Christmas is-Christmas is kids
and it's-and it's grand children
and whole families and..
I guess
that's just my need, huh?
- It's not theirs.
- Oh.
Were you thinking about your
Christmases with Frank?
Oh, Frank and I used to..
We used to go visit
my family
in Pasadena and uh..
And then all those years
when he was gone, I, uh..
...I couldn't, you know I..
...I didn't wanna be a part
of a big celebration, you know.
What did you do?
[chuckles]
Oh, I-I would have eggnog
with a couple
of other lonely people
where I just sit around
and mop, you know.
I mean maybe
that's why I made
this Christmas
so important, you know.
Boy, I had-I had such big plans.
See, we were gonna-we were gonna
have the tree trimming party
and then we were
gonna go caroling
and then tomorrow night
a really big dinner
and then an open house
for-for friends and uh..
But nobody else around
here seems to be up for it.
It's okay, it's okay.
Really, it's okay, I..
- It's okay.
- Oh.
I'm so embarrassed, Susan
You owe me.
Anything, anything, anything.
Hello, is Alan there, please?
Hmm, thanks.
- For starters, your new jeans?
- They're too big for you.
I'll take 'em in.
Hello, Alan?
Oh, I'm fine.
Listen, uh, you can say no
and I understand, but umm..
Well, Susan had this date,
but he got sick and uh..
- Measles.
- Who's got the measles?
Uh, you could've said
the flu, you know.
Oh, oh! Oh, that's great, Alan.
Thanks.
- You're terrific.
- Wha-what's terrific?
- Alan's cousin.
- Yes?
- From San Francisco.
- Yes?
- A UC Berkeley man.
- Yes, yes, yes?
Came into town
and he doesn't have a date.
- He does now.
- Yeah, congratulations.
His name's Harold.
Alright, I'm calling a meeting.
Round up everybody,
including David.
- He's talking to Noreen.
- Oh, who is Noreen?
The girls
that's talking to David.
Oh, right, yes. I want
her here too, right away.
Do you think you should--
Yes, I should
and you should.
- Harold.
- Harold.
Now, we'll have a light supper,
all of us together.
And then Nicholas
will go to bed.
But it's Christmas eve.
Exactly, we all know
that Santa Claus will not come
if he thinks that you're up.
Oh, yeah, maybe I should
just skip dinner and go to bed.
I am kinda tired.
It's okay, Nicholas,
you know, Santa has to eat too.
[snaps fingers]
Now, Santa Claus will trim the
tree, lay out all the presents
and then we'll have
a little eggnog with Santa.
I hate eggnog.
- 'Oh, since when?'
- Dad, I finally got a date.
And then and only then
will anybody
who wants to leave leave.
Yeah, what time will that be?
Whatever time it is.
She'll have Gary all wrapped up
by the time I reach.
Come on, guys, dad means it.
If you had a date
you'd be on our side
but you'd rather
mug about med school.
I tell you,
you all are acting moped
this is gonna be
a lot of fun, fun!
'Lots of fun.'
Fun.
[sighs]
[Christmas music]
Come on, Nicholas,
it's bed time.
Okay, just a minute,
I'm almost done.
Okay, I'm done now.
Ni-Nicholas,
how come there's two?
I thought you were gonna
stretch your sock.
Or didn't that work?
Yeah, it worked,
but I got a little hole in it.
So, I figured,
two of my little socks
would make up
to like one of your big socks.
Come on, I'll take you in.
Hey, what happens if there
really is no Santa Claus?
Nicholas, there will still
be presents. Now come on.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight, Nicholas, see ya.
Yeah, and all of us little elves
will work all night long.
Not this little elf,
get to work so we can leave.
Where's the tree
we're supposed to be trimming?
It's out there where
two people can bring it in
very easily.
Now, come on.
Will you tell Santa, or whoever,
that my presents are downstairs
in the dark room,
in a bag on the floor
pushed way back in the corner.
I wrapped them really good.
Well, maybe not too good. You
can see inside, so don't peek.
- Don't peek, we won't.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
Or it won't a surprise
when you open them.
- Oh, okay.
- We'll be surprised, goodnight.
- Goodnight.
- 'Goodnight.'
Come on.
[indistinct chattering]
[dramatic music]
[whistling]
- Where's your special?
- Oh, I haven't seen it.
It's in there somewhere.
Oh, very artistic, uh-huh
specially the back hand,
I like that.
If you don't like it,
do the other side.
Nancy got
a last minute date for Susan.
She can do something for you.
See if the wicked witch
of the north's free.
Recess, everyone,
how 'bout an eggnog break.
- Mmm.
- Oh, no, no, I can't.
I haven't even got dressed yet.
- Well, what time is it?
- Nine o'clock.
Nine o'clock,
the last show starts at ..
What theatre
you're gonna be at?
- Westlake.
- Westlake.
- Dad, Abby, sorry, but--
- Yeah. Sure, go ahead.
It's been a lovely
Christmas eve, Mr. Bradford.
Lovely.
- Thanks for the great dinner.
- Go ahead.
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas, everyone.
- Merry Christmas, bye.
Hey, ya, we really should
be getting dressed, you guys.
[indistinct chattering]
Is it okay, if we go?
- Yeah, have a good time.
- Okay, bye.
Bye.
Oh, boy.
- Well.
- Eggnog anyone?
- Oh, yes,
- Thank you, Abby.
If you don't mind,
Abby and I are going
to take a Christmas eve stroll
to the Kasbah.
No, go ahead.
We faithful elves
will carry on.
Very good.
'Goodnight.'
What was all of that
with Tommy and Elizabeth?
Mmm, he didn't have
a date for tonight.
Elizabeth heard him
on the phone trying.
Mmm, I guess
with all the other girls
having dates
he just felt left out.
Well, how about you?
- Do you feel left out?
- No.
I mean, I could have had a date
I just thought
that everybody was staying home.
Yeah, me too.
Hey, you still
bummed out about med school?
Yeah. And I think it showed.
Yeah.
Hey, how about some nice,
cheerful, warm Christmas music?
Will you stop with that
Christmas music, please?
[door bell ringing]
- Harold.
- I wanna see him.
- Me too, wait, wait, wait.
- What?
I wanna see the face
that goes with his name.
- You ready.
- Yeah, cool.
- Hi--
- Thank you, it's about time.
We had a flat,
may I use the phone?
Yeah.
No Harold.
It's a shame
we're such an old couple.
You think we were
newly weds or something--
It's your fault, you didn't
bring your sweater down
so I've to keep you warm.
Oh, I see.
I think I feel a chill.
[clears throat]
Uh, sorry, guys.
- David.
- What happened?
We got two blocks
and then we blew a tire.
Dad, could you help, please?
I need a jack,
mine keeps slipping.
- His keeps slipping.
- Yes, the man needs a jack.
I guess we oughta
lend him one.
Alright,
I'll get you a jack, David.
Start loosening things.
What timing.
[sighs]
♪ Fa la la la
la la la la ♪♪
As soon as he gets it fixed.
I wanna be
there all day too, mom.
Okay, so don't worry about me?
Oh, I'm not sure what time.
It depends how long
it takes to get it fixed.
Oh, no, it was the door bell.
Well, if it does take too long
I'll call, otherwise..
Listen, nobody seems
to be around.
Let me get that, hold on.
- Hi.
- 'Hi.'
- Uh, Nancy, my name is--
- Oh, no, this is not Nancy.
Oh, Susan.
Well, I'm Harold.
'No, I'm Noreen.'
Alan told me
all the sister's were beautiful.
I'm not one of the sisters.
- Wh-which one is..
- Well, it..
Hi, Harold.
- Oh, Susan.
- No, I'm not..
- I-I am..
- Hey, am I next?
I am not Susan. That is Susan,
the red hair Susan.
'Would you please wave
at this nice man?'
- Alan, you could've told him.
- What? And spoil all the fun?
I'm sorry, I never knew that my
date would be the prettiest one.
(Joannie)
'Ooh!'
Thanks.
Hi, Harold.
Hello.
Oh, well, I-I know
you're not Susan
so, which sister are you?
Oh, I'm, uh, the mother
superior. You must be Harold.
- Yes.
- Nice to meet you.
- Well, um, have a good time.
- Oh, yeah, come on.
[indistinct chattering]
Hey, Harold.
I'm impressed.
If you're rejecting,
I'll raincheck--
Joannie, Susan's date.
Little eggnog, huh?
How 'bout a lot of eggnog?
Well, you're not gonna go
to Monterey like that, are you?
Well, better greasy
than late, dad.
- Here, wipe your hands.
- Oh, thanks.
- Thanks again for everything.
- Oh, that's alright.
Now, if you get tired
be sure and stop, will you?
We're gonna take turns.
Come on, we better go, bye-bye.
Bye.
- Hey, uh, Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas, David.
Merry Christmas.
[melancholy music]
Boy, it feels
like a morgue around here.
Yeah, it does.
Whatever happened to the
traditional Bradford Christmas.
I think it went out the door
with-with Harold and Noreen.
And Elizabeth's boyfriend Gary
and Alan and..
I don't know, Joannie,
I don't know what happened.
I don't know either.
It's the first time one of the
kids wasn't here for Christmas.
It's first time most of the kids
weren't here on Christmas eve.
Well, at least
if we start making again
we won't get interrupted.
[glass breaking]
- Oh, no.
- Don't bet on it.
Well, I-I'm very happy
with this Christmas.
I mean, even with all the chaos,
in fact I love the chaos.
- So much better than uh--
- Being alone?
- Then it's a great Christmas.
- Yeah.
And tomorrow, all the kids
will be here except for David.
Then we'll open the presents.
Yeah, in the Bradford tradition.
Which tradition is this one?
It's great.
Don't you know how they do it?
Each kid picks
a name out of the hat
and each one
gives the other a present.
There'd be a couple of hundred
presents to open, right?
More to buy, I'd go broke,
we'd all go broke.
Don't forget
to remind me to close
those living room doors tonight.
I don't want to be
caught in the act.
- By Nicholas?
- Yes.
- Why, does he sleep walk?
- He runs.
- You're terrible.
- Nah.
[glass shattering]
Hmm.
- You know something?
- What?
I wouldn't put down
the quieter Christmas entirely.
Me neither.
It's quieter upstairs, let's go.
Tommy? What time is it?
Uh, one o'clock.
One o'clock?
You're an hour late.
It's one of your
Christmas presents to me.
Goodnight.
One o'clock in the morning.
Mmm, is he alright?
Oh, I guess so, why?
Oh, I-I don't know,
you know, I just..
I think that his
cynical attitude
is just a front
for something else, you know.
- Mmm.
- How many are home now?
Yeah, Elizabeth is.
But uh, Nancy and Susan aren't.
- Oh.
- Do you think that uh--
No, no, no, just let that be
your Christmas gift to them.
Not worrying
about when they come in, okay?
- Why, did you talk to Tommy?
- Hmm?
Never mind, go to sleep.
Merry Christmas.
Yeah. I hope so.
[mellow music]
[dramatic music]
[music continues]
[music continues]
Aren't those ours?
Hello, there.
Hello, Santa Claus.
Hello, yourself,
laddie boy.
My name's Nicholas.
Just like yours.
Ain't that nice?
Yes, sir.
Ho ho ho.
Shh.
If you know that,
you know
you aren't suppose
to see me, go to bed.
- You woke me up.
- I'm sorry about that.
You go back to bed,
let me get to work.
I promise not to tell anybody
if you won't, hmm?
How come you are putting some of
these presents back in the sack?
Oh, I was just, uh, I was just
uh, just looking for something.
Oh, my-my chewing tobacco.
Do you chew tobacco,
young man?
Uh, nah, I just chew gum.
Bubble gum, huh?
Well, I'll make a note of that.
How come you're not
wearing your red suit?
Well, I didn't get it back
from the cleaners in time.
Besides, I've got my
red under sweater on, you see
and my-my red socks.
Did you come down the chimney?
No, no, no,
your chimney is much too small
and I am much too in light.
Besides, I wouldn't want
to get my clothes all dirty
to talk to you, nice young men.
Yeah, but they won't see ya.
That's right. They won't.
They're not suppose to either.
Come on along, now go to bed.
Did the fireplace
burn your beard off?
Yes, yes. Singed off in the
first fireplace I went down.
Now you get to bed.
Wait, I wanna wave goodbye
when you ride away
in your sleigh.
Naughty, naughty. I am gonna
take away all your presents.
Oh, no, Santa Claus.
Don't.
I'm going up,
right this minute.
Merry Christmas, Santa Claus.
Oh-ho-ho!
It was a terrific party, Alan.
Yeah, it was.
And I had a terrific time.
Me too.
And you're just...terrific.
You're gonna
call me tomorrow?
Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna
call you tomorrow.
Terrific!
Terrific.
Goodbye.
Hmm.
Terrific!
[sighs]
Hey.
How was the party?
Terrific?
Yeah, terrific.
W-where's Susan?
They're walking back
after midnight mass.
Midnight mass?
Harold?
How many of 'em are there?
Should we ask permission?
- No way. Come on.
- Gimme a second.
They wouldn't want you
to take the car?
No, they just wouldn't want me
to take it without permission.
But I do.
That is when somebody remembers
to leave the keys.
(Susan)
'Uh, there's an extra set
in the living room cabinet.
'I'll go get 'em, okay?.'
(Harold)
'Wait a minute.'
There are some keys
on the floor.
Yeah, people leave 'em
there too.
No, shouldn't we at least
leave a note or something.
No, we'll be back
before anybody..
Uh, uh.
...gets up.
- Harold.
- Just one for the road.
- Ha!
- Come on.
Alright, Santa Claus.
Let's go.
[instrumental music]
Shh, we're gonna
wake up the whole house.
(David)
'You know we'd have
been there by now'
'if you hadn't forgotten
all the presents.'
(Noreen)
'What do you mean me?
You forgot also.'
Anyway, I couldn't
walk in empty handed.
Let's just get all the presents.
Get in the car
and drive right to Monterey.
You're awake enough to drive?
No.
Neither am I.
[dramatic music]
[music continues]
You can sleep
on the couch.
I don't know if I'll be able
to sleep on this couch.
It's awfully lumpy.
Yes, a real back-breaker.
Hey, listen, you're
invited to join me.
David,
it's Christmas eve.
Oh, no. Correction,
it's Christmas day.
Well, it just
doesn't seem right.
After all,
it is a sacred holiday.
It's celebrated all over
the world in recognition--
Noreen, you could just say,
you have a headache.
Well, as a matter of fact,
throb is coming and going.
- Noreen.
- What?
Merry Christmas.
Yeah, merry Christmas.
[instrumental music]
[engine starts]
[music continues]
Thank you, Santa Claus.
(Nicholas)
'C'mon, Tommy.
It's time to get up.'
'C'mon Tommy!'
Nicholas!
Lay off, it's early.
Yeah, but we gotta go
drink the orange juice.
So we can open the presents.
I'll catch up to you.
It's Christmas.
Christmas is for kids.
Yeah, but you're still a kid.
Yeah.
That's my problem.
[Nicholas scoffs]
Hey, everybody, come on!
It's time to get up!
It's Christmas!
It's time to open our presents.
Come on, everybody!
Get up!
Come on, Mary, get up!
Come on!
'It's time to open our presents.
C'mon, get up!'
- Tom.
- Mm-hm.
Tom, Tom,
wake up.
It's time to get up
and have fun.
- Uhh! Have fun?
- Mm-hm.
[knocks on door]
(Nicholas)
'It's Christmas!'
Uh, merry Christmas.
(Nicholas)
'Can I come in?'
Well, we'll be out
in a minute, Nicholas.
Hey, you know what?
What?
There really is
a Santa Claus.
Really?
How do you know?
Because,
I'm not allowed to tell.
But we better go
open all those presents.
Dad, do you wanna miss this?
Aah, yes.
Now, you're just like Tommy.
That's the exact same thing
he said.
I'll go start to make
some orange juice.
I'll be right there.
Hey, didn't you say that
we're supposed to wait
till everybody is there
before we get started.
Oh, what a rough night.
I kept dreaming
that I was waking up.
Poor baby.
Hey, what's taking
you guys so long.
And by the time we got back here
we were both so tired
we decided to start
in the morning.
Right now. We should
be there by noon.
Hmm, I'll tell him.
Tell me what?
Drive carefully.
Ha ha.
We will.
I love you too, dad.
Bye-bye.
Let's go.
Hey, I thought
you guys were gone.
Uh, so did I,
Nicholas.
Just give me five hours
and a clear freeway.
So long, Nicholas.
Come on.
Aren't you gonna
open your presents first?
We're gonna take 'em with us.
- I'll go get them.
- Wait, Nicholas.
You know that nobody goes
in that living room
until after orange juice.
I mean,
that's the family tradition.
Hey, that was a fast trip.
Ha ha.
So we're hoping.
Nicholas, just leave
our presents by the tree.
When we get back, we'll have
a whole another Christmas.
Alright?
Bye, everyone.
I see that you two
decided to stay. That's great.
- She had a headache.
- What's that?
Look, someone will explain
everything to you.
- We really have to go now.
- More car trouble?
No, dad, we just forgot
the presents for Monterey.
We really have to
go now, alright?
Do you have the presents now?
No.
Still in the living room.
After orange juice. We're gonna
hold on to one tradition.
Oh, no! I have to
get back to Monterey!
Noreen, we're going to stay
and have orange juice.
It'll be good
for your headache.
I better call my parents.
Alright, everybody
in the kitchen.
In the kitchen, Nicholas.
Gary practically
told her flat out
that he was
going with me.
And she wouldn't
leave him alone!
Aha!
[sighs]
It's me again.
Mm-hm.
We have to drink orange juice.
I don't know, mom.
That's what they do here.
They drink orange juice.
Ahh! How come people
drink orange juice
before they open their presents?
People don't,
the Bradford's do.
Yeah. Well, Tommy
isn't interested.
Mary, see if you can
Tommy interested.
I'll try.
Oh, and also Joannie
and Susan too.
Oh, yeah.
Wait..
How's the orange juice?
Still squeezing.
How's your headache?
- Hey, Mary.
- What?
I don't think Susan's home.
Her bed hasn't been slept in.
- All night? She's not home?
- I don't know.
- Uh, c'mon, c'mon.
- What?
- Just..
- 'What?'
Didn't you go together
in Alan's car?
- Yes, we did.
- Didn't they get back with you?
No. They went
to midnight mass.
- Midnight mass?
- That's what I thought.
But anybody who goes to midnight
mass can't be all that bad.
Oh, he can be,
if he's going there to confess.
I'll just call her friends.
Maybe they decided to..
I don't know.
We should stay off the phone,
so that they can call us.
'If they wanted to call,
they'd have called us.'
-'We've gotta do something.'
- 'Call the police?'
(Tom)
'Let's call the police.'
I knew it!
I just knew it.
What's the matter, Nicholas?
- It's my fault.
- You saw her?
No, I saw him.
- Harold?
- No. Santa Claus.
That's why I took
all our stuff back.
C'mon, I'll show you.
[clamoring]
Oh, my gosh!
[indistinct chattering]
Hey, what's goin' on?
[indistinct yelling]
- Wait, wait a minute.
- Don't yell!
Santa Claus
stoled our presents.
And Susan's been kidnapped.
- I think whoever took those--
- We don't know that.
[indistinct yelling]
(Tom)
'No, no, no.
My daughter was not kidnapped.'
I mean...well, at least
I hope she wasn't kidnapped.
And the Santa Claus character
who is supposed to have
stolen your presents
and the tree ornament.
Yeah, I saw him.
You saw Santa Claus?
Yeah. I wonder why
I didn't swipe my presents.
Guess.
With the red suit, reindeer,
the whole shtick?
Yeah, well, I didn't
get to see his reindeer.
And he said, his suit was
at the cleaner's.
But I saw his red undershirt.
He must think
I'm a terrible drawer.
Nicholas, that's just not true.
I mean, any Santa Claus
that would think that
is obviously, uh..
...umm..
...an imposter, isn't that
right, Officer Bernstein?
Well, I'll tell you
the truth Mrs. Bradford.
I know I don't look it,
but I'm Jewish.
So I'm no big expert
on Santa Claus.
But I wouldn't mind
celebrating Christmas.
Be nice to have Christmas off
once in a while.
You know, see the parades,
the football games.
Now, where were you standing,
when you first saw Santa Claus?
Oh, yeah. Sure.
(Nicholas)
'Right over here.'
Are you Abby?
Uh, no, no.
I'm Nancy.
My brother put that up
for Abby.
Nancy, that's a pretty name.
Thank you.
What's your name?
Craig.
That's a nice name too.
Um, must be kinda exciting
being a policeman.
What do we do now?
Just sit tight,
we'll take over.
Shouldn't we call
Susan's friends
or something like that, maybe?
Yeah, but leave time
between calls
'so she can
get through to you.'
(Betty)
'Oh, what about our stuff?'
(Officer Bernstein)
'Well, we'll do
the best we can.'
Oh, you better leave
that van out there.
Uh, you'll never get all
those presents into
'that little toy MG,
just in case.'
Uh, but we have to leave.
Yeah, couldn't they use
the Sedan or the station wagon?
Sedan?
Station wagon?
I didn't notice
any other cars.
Right out in the back.
They're there.
Foster!
- What?
- Where did you see him?
They're there.
Come on.
Oh, I really should be working
but I don't have
to work tomorrow.
- I don't either.
- Great.
So this is usually closed.
[indistinct yelling]
Right, hold it!
Uh, hold it there.
Wait a minute now.
Quiet.
A Wagon and a Sedan?
Hey, kid.
How many Santa Clauses
did say you saw?
We can't leave yet.
They need David's van.
Well, in case they have
to pick up the presents
or go after Susan.
David's sister.
They don't know where she is.
Well, that's why
they called the police.
Mom, they are a nice family.
(Tom)
'Nicholas, we're having
waffles for breakfast.'
I'd barf.
'Oh, c'mon, Nicholas,
it's not your fault.'
You had every reason to believe
that that was Santa Claus.
In a black t-shirt
and jeans
and no reindeer?
Well, he explained that his
clothes were in the cleaner's.
Yeah, that's Christmas for you.
Everybody goes to the cleaner's.
You're not helping, Tommy.
Neither is all of that
dumb Christmas stuff.
Christmas is the biggest
advertising gimmick
'there is in the world.'
That's what you ought to be
tellin' him about Christmas.
[melancholic music]
[theme music]
[music continues]
02x13 - Yes, Nicholas, There is a Santa Claus Pt. 1
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The show was modeled on the life of syndicated newspaper columnist Tom Braden, a real-life parent with eight children, who wrote a book by the same title.
The show was modeled on the life of syndicated newspaper columnist Tom Braden, a real-life parent with eight children, who wrote a book by the same title.