03x26 - Marriage and Other Flights of Fancy

[bunniefuu]

I did it.

I really did it.

[gasps]

I can't believe it!

Hurry up.

I-I can't believe it.

- I did it. I finally did it.

- What?

Abby, Abby, listen,

you won't believe this.

I did it. I did it.

I finally did it.

Dad, we may believe it

if you tell us what it is

you finally did.

- I finally sold my short story.

- I can't believe it.

(Tom)

'Your sarcasm, Elizabeth,

will in no way'

dampen my total happiness.

Do you realize that

after all those mountains

of rejection slips

from all those publishing houses

'that don't really know talent

when they see it'

Tom Bradford has finally

entered the ranks

of Hemmingway,

Fitzgerald and Twain.

Who are all those guys? Is dad

changing jobs or something?

No, Nicholas,

they're very famous writers.

Yes, and they're best known

for their short stories

as I will be known

when the entire world reads

my short story in, in, in,

oh, uh, "Man's Man Monthly."

Oh. Uh, must be

a-a new publication.

Well, this calls

for a celebration.

I'm very happy.

[theme song]

♪ There's a magic

in the early morning we found ♪

♪ When the sunrise smiles

on everything around ♪

♪ It's a portrait

of the happiness ♪

♪ That we feel and always will ♪

♪ Oh eight is enough ♪

♪ To fill our lives with love ♪

♪ And eight is enough ♪

♪ To fill our lives with love ♪♪

(Nicholas)

'How can I toast

without champagne, dad?'

(Tom)

'Drink your ginger ale,

Nicholas.'

(Mary)

'Dad, they sent you

a check for $?'

(Tom)

'Yes. Well, all those years'

'as a w*r correspondent in Korea

have finally paid off.'

Hey, dad, wait,

what does this mean?

It says, "In the interest

of our editorial policy

"we've taken the liberty

of slightly modifying

"some of the passages of your

story, 'The Last Big Push.'"

Yes. Well, as long

as they don't alter

the main thrust of my story,

I couldn't care less.

It's only

semi-autobiographical anyway

so I mean,

writers are always rewritten

in the beginning, that is.

Oh, dad,

we're all so proud of you.

Yeah, dad, we all know

how long you've tried

to be taken seriously

as a writer.

Uh!

I didn't mean it quite that way.

- David's here.

- David's here.

- Hi!

- Hi, guys.

- Oh, hello.

- Hi, family.

Are we too late

to join the party?

It's just getting warmed up.

Yeah, if you two

can quit holding hands

long enough to grab yourself

a glass of bubbly.

Well, hey, uh, everybody's

got enough champagne.

I'd like to propose a toast.

Can you do it

while there's still bubbles?

Oh, yeah. Uh, I don't know

exactly how to say this

but, uh, it is proper to toast

the bride and groom, isn't it?

- 'Bride?'

- 'Groom?'

- Who's getting married?

- Oh, take a wild guess.

- Hurray!

- Oh, Janet!

- Congratulations!

- Wonderful!

Janet's getting married?

Who's she getting married to?

Donald Cline of all creeps.

I'd rather marry the Hulk.

Relax, Elizabeth. It's only

a make-believe marriage.

Well, yeah, make-believe or not,

it still means

I've got to spend time

within breathing range of him.

I mean, Nancy, Donald Cline has

got to be seen to be believed.

- He's a real queeb.

- Huh?

Pass the emery board, please.

- Here.

- Thanks.

What's a queeb?

Well, you know

what a nerd is, right?

- Yes.

- A queeb is worse.

This marriage thing

is never going to work.

- Why?

- Elizabeth, give it a chance.

Really, I mean,

David and Janet aren't even

exchanging vows

till the first of the month.

I'm not talking

about David and Janet.

I'm talking about me

and Donald Cline.

What's a Donald Cline?

It's her husband in contemporary

social problems class.

The teacher pairs up students

and they have to deal

with typical everyday problems

young married couples face.

Hmm, sounds like fun.

Not when you're stuck

with Donald Cline.

A real queeb, huh?

How did you know?

Oh, okay, okay. Alright,

alright, you guys, okay!

Enough of Elizabeth's

imaginary wedding

and on to David and Janet's.

Will it still be this nice

after we're married?

Well, if you can wait

about a month

you can answer

that one yourself.

- Now, move it. We're late.

- Late for what?

We're invited

to the gala opening

of O'Hara And Associates'

new law firm.

Oh, no, I thought

that was tomorrow night.

It's tonight.

- Do we have to go?

- Yes. You jump in the shower.

I've already laid out

your clothes.

I just spent all day

with an accountant

trying to figure out

how to bankroll the gala opening

of Bradford And Associates'

new construction firm

with lots of great ideas

and no money.

Oh, there's absolutely no way

I can miss tonight.

I mean, how could Ted O'Hara

and his loyal associates

even consider me

joining their firm

'if I don't even bother

making an appearance?'

It's very important.

Please.

[sighs]

Would you hate me

if you had to go alone?

Somehow the thought of being

surrounded by three-piece suits

eating canapes and discussing

the latest advances

in personal injury cases

makes me very anti-social.

Do you want me to go unescorted?

No, but I'll live with it.

Okay. There's leftovers

in the refrigerator.

King me.

[sighs]

I surrender, champ.

These days, I can't even

b*at you when I'm cheating.

Hi, guys.

Hey, um, we're taking a vote.

Do we all pitch in

and buy David and Janet

one large wedding gift

or little individual ones, huh?

Oh, that Donald Cline

is not only a giant creep

he's a chauvinist.

Would you believe he expects us

to live off

of his measly salary?

"No wife of mine is gonna work,"

he says

"Your place is in the home."

How romantic?

A newlywed squabble.

Sounds like you need

a marriage counselor.

You mean

you're getting married too?

What I need, Nancy,

is a divorce.

You mean

you already got married?

How come nobody told me?

Well, let's talk about it

during dinner.

Dad and Abby went out

with the McArthurs.

Oh, boy, this is the last time

I sit still

for an arranged marriage.

- When did she get married?

- Oh, uh, last week, I think.

Boy, things are really happening

fast around here.

I didn't even get invited

to the wedding.

[knock on door]

Forget your key?

You wouldn't give me a key,

remember?

Vicky.

Well, aren't you gonna

invite me in?

Uh, uh..

Mm-hmm.

Vicky, I wasn't

expecting you, uh..

I mean, what are you,

what are you doing here?

I'm visiting, silly.

I can, uh, see you're still

a lousy housekeeper.

Yeah, I guess some habits

never change.

Vicky, I mean, it's been a long

time since we've been together--

Oh, I know, David

and I have missed you too.

That's why I stopped by.

I thought we might catch up.

Sort of get reacquainted.

Oh, David,

I've missed your smile.

There's something

I should tell you.

Hi. I'm, uh..

...early.

Vicky, I'd like you

to meet Janet.

My fiancee, Janet.

Janet, say hi to Vicky.

She likes my smile.

(Janet)

'Well, are you just gonna

sit there like a lump?'

As I recall, you were too tired

to socialize this evening

yet you seemed to have had

enough energy left

to socialize with a strange girl

in our apartment.

Don't you have anything to say?

I'd like to make a motion

for mistrial

on grounds

of insufficient evidence.

'Insufficient evidence?'

David, I'm not

an insecure, neurotic

prone to petty female jealousies

and other flights of fancy.

I come home,

I catch you in your robe

standing this close

to a not-unattractive lady

and you say I have no evidence.

I was an eyewitness.

Okay, you saw what you saw,

but you didn't see everything.

You mean I mistook that part!

No, I..

Wait a second.

Why am I defending myself?

I didn't do anything wrong.

'And I don't like being

accused of anything either.'

I was trying to spend

a nice, quiet evening home..

...alone..

...working on our guest list

and an old girlfriend

dropped by.

What am I supposed to do,

slam the door in her face?

'Or should I put a sign outside

that says'

engaged to be married,

no trespassing?

I haven't seen Vicky

in over a year.

She doesn't even know

I'm off the open market.

David, I--

And even if she did know,

that doesn't mean

we can't talk

human being to human being.

You're right.

Really, Janet,

a person doesn't turn

into a social recluse

just because they get..

What did you say?

I said you're right.

I overreacted.

I should have asked first,

not accused.

Who's Uncle Bernie?

My mother's brother

in Patagonia.

You mean it? I'm right?

With all my heart.

I can't help it

if sometimes I'm insecure

neurotic and jealous.

You have no reason to be

any of those things.

We're in love, remember?

Vaguely.

Hmm, it's getting clearer.

So tell me some more about

your ex-girlfriend, Vicky?

You'd be better off knowing

more about my Uncle Bernie.

Probably.

But tell me about Vicky anyway.

Oh, uh, good afternoon.

Do you happen to have the latest

issue of "Man's Man Monthly?"

It just so happens that

I wrote one of their stories.

You might find it

quite entertaining.

It's called The Last Big Push.

Oh. Uh, how much do I owe you?

Hey, Harry,

how much for this rag?

Are you alright?

You've been hiding in here

ever since you got home.

Oh, no, Abby, I'm not hiding.

Not exactly.

What I'm doing

is I'm hiding something.

Abby, I-I want you to see this.

Tom, I know what the female

anatomy looks like.

Yes, I thought I did too, but..

Abby, that's

"Man's Man Monthly."

You're kidding.

You're not kidding.

Ooh.

- Hi, hon.

- Hello.

Wow, all those numbers.

Looks like you're trying

to balance the national debt.

[laughs]

Well, it's darn close.

I'm trying to figure out

how we can save enough money

so that we can buy a house

in the next months.

Honey.

I hate to blow holes

in your one year plan

but I have some shocking news.

Buying a house is not that easy

not at today's prices,

not with today's income

and not in the near future.

Oh, but of course, it is.

All you have to do is

have the right strategy.

After today's lesson

on crediting

the free enterprise system

armed robbery is about the only

strategy I can think of.

What happened at the bank?

I won't know until next week

but the loan officer gave me

a bad case of the guilts

for not owing money

all over town.

'See, I've always paid cash

for everything'

'because I hate the idea

of being in hock.'

But if you're not in hock,

you can't establish credit.

And without credit,

you can't get a loan

to get yourself deeper

into hock.

Well, if that's all

there is to it

then all we have to do

is buy a house

which will put us into a hock,

which will establish our credit

'which will get you your loans,

so you can start'

your own business.

Piece of cake.

You seem to have things

very organized.

Well, I always did enjoy

setting goals.

It sort of keeps things focused.

Let me see if I have this right.

You set a goal..

...you focus in..

David, we have to meet a friend

of mine for dinner tonight.

Please, one goal at a time.

Linda, I'm so sorry we're late.

- Oh.

- Hi.

We sort of lost track

of the time.

Oh, forget it.

I was late myself.

- Linda Ray Craft--

- Uh, I'm using my own name.

Okay, Linda Wellman, this is my

future husband, David Bradford.

- Hello.

- How do you do?

Obviously, the reason

you lost track of the time.

- Well, congratulations.

- Thanks.

So tell me all about New York.

Let's order first.

I'm starving.

Okay.

(Linda)

'So I can't promise

I'll be back in time'

for your wedding,

but I'll sure try.

I shouldn't be in Santa Fe

for more than a week.

After that, it might be nice

to see the rest

of the great American southwest.

You know, I've heard about

this fellow with wives.

Now he might be

an interesting subject.

- Sounds like fun.

- Fourteen wives?

No, hardly.

Uh, I mean the travel.

I think it sounds insane.

A girl driving alone

cross-country

who knows what could happen?

A lot if I'm lucky.

Not only is it irresponsible,

it's dangerous.

What do you think I should do?

Settle down and live off

my generous alimony

'until I find

some other jerk to marry?'

Linda, I'm sorry your marriage

didn't work out, but--

I'm sorry.

I guess I'm still

a little defensive.

Janet, for the first time

in my life

I'm not my parent's little girl

or a California co-ed

or somebody's wife.

I've a chance

to be my own person.

I just don't know

who that person is?

'And since writing

is the only thing I can do'

even half decently,

I intend to write my way

across the country

until I find out.

You know something, Linda?

Since we were kids, you always

could take a totally crazy idea

and make it sound

almost sensible.

[laughs]

You always went along

with them.

That's right, I did

and as I remember

your ideas always

got us into trouble.

Well, I'll just have

to take that chance.

Oh, but that's enough about me.

I wanna hear all about you guys.

Uh, David, one of the partners

from O'Hara's

'just walked in the bar.'

O'Hara is one of the best

law firms in town

and I'm this close

to working there.

I really should go say hello.

But our dinner's here.

David, you know how important

this is to me.

It won't take but a minute.

Go ahead, start without me.

So you were about to tell me

what you and Janet are up to.

We're buying a house.

Oh.

[Janet laughing]

Oh.

Would anyone care

for some dessert?

Most of us already had

our dessert.

(Janet)

'I said I was sorry.'

(David)

Oh, and that's supposed

to make everything okay, right?

Can we drop this, David?

Sure, I wouldn't wanna spoil

your appetite.

Alright, that does it.

Oh, listen, it's late.

I have to be leaving.

No, no. No, please don't go.

Well, I'm staying

with my parents

and dad likes me home

in a decent hour

so he can triple lock

the front door.

But we haven't had a chance

to talk yet.

That's not her fault.

I'll give you a call.

- Goodnight.

- Goodnight.

- You are so mean.

- Mean, what did I do?

You embarrassed me in front

of my friend, that's what?

You know, I don't like arguing

in front of other people.

But being rude in front of other

people is okay, is that it?

Getting up in the middle

of dinner and leaving me alone

with your friend

until it's time to pay

the check

is accepted social behavior.

- That was business.

- It could've waited.

And so could

your rotten behavior.

I didn't plan on running

into that guy tonight.

Right, you planned on us

having a nice, pleasant dinner

with your long-lost friend.

I don't believe you. Linda must

think we don't get along at all.

Well, excuse me for my total

lack of self-control.

The next time I'm upset, I'll

find a more appropriate time

to express my feelings.

You're impossible. I can't

even talk to you anymore.

Janet, open this door.

This isn't over yet.

'I'm not listening.'

Come on, hiding behind

a locked door

isn't gonna solve anything.

Where am I supposed to sleep?

Well, at least I'm not

going to bed angry.

I don't have the bed.

(Joannie)

'"The Last Big Push

by Tom Bradford.'

'"I awoke with a start,

it was silent.'

'"The icy winds slice through

my liver like a bayonet.'

- 'It was good."'

- Junk.

Dad's story is not junk.

I meant everything else.

Well, how would you know?

Did you flip through the rest--

- Hey, hey.

- No, no, I-I heard.

Well, I just can't figure out

where they hide

the socially redeeming values?

From the sound of it,

I don't think

they're trying to hide anything.

- Hey, can I see?

- No.

How come?

Did dad write something

I'm not suppose to read?

No, Nicolas, see,

it's not what he wrote

it's where he wrote it.

No, it's not where I wrote it

it's where they've printed it.

And where they printed it

none of you are allowed

to look at.

Dad, most of us happen

to be adults.

Well, then behave like an adult

and let me put out the trash.

Now you guys know

how it feels to be un-included.

Mr. Gillette, if you just

give me a chance to explain.

- Get me this boy's father.

- Yes, sir.

Dad, if you just give me

a chance to explain.

- Mr. Gillette is expecting me?

- Yes. Please, go right in.

[clears throat]

Mr. Gillette,

I'm Tom Bradford.

After all these years

and children, we meet at last.

- Take a seat.

- Thank you.

Uh..

What I don't understand

is why I'm sitting in here

and my son Tommy

is sitting out there?

Mr. Bradford, I can honestly say

that I am a very liberal man.

'I do not enforce

the dress code.'

I look the other way

on Senior Prank Day.

I even vote for Harold Stassen

whenever he runs for president.

'But there are limits even

to my liberal way of thinking.'

All things in moderation.

I subscribe

to the same philosophy.

But what is this, some kind

of a parent's poll or something?

Hardly.

As a liberal, I also support

the basic freedoms.

The freedom of speech,

in particular.

'However, I do not condone'

students bringing

certain samples'

'of that free speech

onto my campus.'

This magazine, to be precise.

Unfortunately, your son does not

subscribe to the same philosophy

of moderation that we do.

Ah-ha.

Have you ever looked

at that magazine?

No, of course not.

Well, uh, yes, I, uh

in the interest of, uh,

administrative discipline, yes.

Well, then you're probably

not aware of the fact

that various

highly acclaimed writers

have contributed articles

of great social prominence

and merit to that publication.

- You're putting me on.

- Look for yourself.

Oh, I hardly, uh, describe

great social merit

to the likes

of "Mademoiselle Suzie

"Midnight Harry

Tom Brad.."

What was that last name?

Oh, dear.

[knock on door]

It's open.

David?

Oh, hi. Is Janet home?

Any minute.

Would it bother you

if I turned on the on the light?

Whatever makes you happy.

You know what they say about

people who sit in the dark.

You probably don't care either.

Maybe I should leave

and come back some other time.

Well, it was nice

talking to you again.

- Oh.

- Oh, Linda.

I'm surprised you're here.

I got the job.

- Oh, way to go.

- Thanks.

Didn't you hear?

O'Hara hired me.

They hired me as a clerk

till my law results come in.

Congratulations.

Well, we'll have to put off

the honeymoon for a while

just till I get adjusted.

- David, what's wrong?

- It can wait.

I know you don't like discussing

things in front of other people.

(Janet)

I wanna hear it now.

- The bank turned down my loan.

- Oh, is that all?

For a second, I thought

it was something serious.

I put that on the same list with

the Titanic and Pearl Harbor.

Well, it is bad,

but it's far from tragic.

David, we don't need the bank.

With the money,

I'll be bringing in

I'll have enough to start

your business in no time.

Oh really? You'd give money

to a bum credit risk like me?

[chuckles]

Of course, I will.

Well, naturally I'll have

to draw up a contract

but I think

you'll like the terms.

And how do I sign in the dotted

line, Mr. Janet McArthur?

I'm sorry, Linda. You keep

seeing me at my worst.

David.

I waited up for you all night

and you didn't come home.

I was so worried.

Why didn't you call?

I couldn't.

I didn't know what to say.

Would you answer me

a question?

'Do you love me?'

I mean, do you really love me?

I think so.

That's not enough.

I know.

I don't think

we should get married.

I, uh, I made us a dinner.

It's very nice.

We shouldn't let it spoil.

I knew

things weren't right, but..

[sighs]

Well, you know how I am.

Totally goal-oriented.

Once I get something

in my hand, I..

...I have a hard time

letting it go.

I'm just too selfish, I guess.

Every time I tried

thinking about us

all I could come up with was me.

Oh, no, no please, no heroics.

I've seen the same thing in me.

It's like ever since

we decided to get married

we've both been on edge.

Like we were fighting each other

for our last breath of freedom.

Is marriage supposed

to be like that?

I don't think so.

I mean, for a while at least,

I'm not gonna find out about it.

I guess the honeymoon

was over before it started.

I propose a toast.

To us.

May we live apart

happily ever after.

Janet.

[sobs]

You know,

you know, it's really funny.

Deciding not

to get married has been

about the most mature thing

we've ever done as a couple.

I'm, I'm sorry.

Well, that should do it

for this load.

Linda, I want you to know

that I really appreciate

you're helping Janet out

like this.

Forget it.

That's what friends are for.

Yeah? Well, uh,

I better drop this stuff off.

Tell Janet I'll be back

in about an hour.

Right.

I knew you were moving

back home for a while.

- I didn't know David was too.

- He's not.

He's, uh, moving out,

hitting the road.

- You're putting me on.

- No.

In fact, I think you might

have given him the idea.

All your romantic talk

about traveling

and trying to find yourself.

[laughs]

Oh.

Think he can look after himself

any better than I can?

Probably not.

[laughs]

- Where's he planning to go?

- He doesn't know yet.

He said for the first time

in his life

he wanted to do something

totally spontaneous.

Janet, I've got a crazy idea.

Oh, your favorite kind.

Yeah, but this is really crazy.

And in order for it to work

you're gonna have

to go along with it.

David, isn't this

sort of sudden?

I hope so. I waited

until the last minute

so you couldn't

talk me out of it.

Sought of compounding

a totally haphazard idea

with a complete lack

of forethought, isn't it?

I prefer to think

of it as spontaneous.

Excuse me

while I spontaneously get lost.

Mary, uh, here's an extra key

to my apartment.

'Rent's paid

till the end of the month.'

Tommy, you're in charge of

disposing what I leave behind.

If anybody wants anything,

it's theirs.

Sell everything else and any

money, I'd like saved for me.

I guess that's it, except, uh..

...I'm really gonna

miss you guys.

[knock on door]

Yes.

You're running way, David,

It's plain and simple.

'You've made a commitment

and you changed your mind.'

'You made a mistake, that's

alright. We all make mistakes.'

But you're compounding

that mistake

by trying to run away

from the consequences.

Maybe, but I'm also running

towards something too.

Oh, come on,

you don't mean that.

Dad, if this were

instead of ,

I'd be here telling you

I was heading west

to start a new life.

Well, I'm already west.

So I'm telling you

that I'm heading north

and south and east

to find what I want.

How can you hold

that against me?

I don't hold it against you.

It's just that

it's-it's so abrupt.

It's so ill-planned. I--

You might think of it

as an adventure.

Dad, it's not like I'm never

going to see you again.

I'm just taking a little trip,

sort of an extended vacation.

Look, dad, I may not be acting

like your type of man.

Sensible and sane.

But let's face it.

You're stuck with me.

I'll always be your son.

You finally said something

that makes sense.

Don't get

into any trouble, David.

And when you do, call me first.

Thanks, dad.

[knock on door]

- Hi.

- Hi.

Janet forget something?

No.

Actually, this has nothing

to do with Janet.

Oh, wait, no,

that's not exactly true.

It was my idea

in the first place

and she agreed

that it had some merit.

So that's why I'm here.

I haven't the vaguest idea

what you're talking about.

Ah.

Well, hey, I see you're all

packed up and ready to go.

- Any specific destination?

- Not yet.

I'm just gonna take the freeway

of least resistance.

Well, in that case, how about

giving me a lift to Santa Fe?

- New Mexico?

- New Mexico.

You heard Janet.

She is convinced

that it's too dangerous

for me to travel alone.

'Well, I don't agree with her,

of course'

'but it did get me to thinking

and Janet agreed.'

I mean,

if by some strange coincidence

you and I should be traveling

in the same general direction

it would make

at least economic sense

to go in the same car, right?

- You wanna travel with me?

- Just to Santa Fe.

And then with the plane money

I can save

I can buy a slightly better car

and we can go

our own separate ways.

No, we hardly know each other.

Well, I didn't mean

to frighten you.

'I only suggested

that we travel together'

'not get married.'

Forget it. Forget it.

Forget it.

It was a crazy idea anyway.

It is spontaneous.

You pay your own way?

All expenses split -.

You travel light?

I know how to pack, thank you.

Oh, what the heck.

I'll pick you up at :.

Are you sure it's okay?

No. But so what?

[laughs]

I'll see you at :.

Ah! What's in this thing?

Shh. You'll wake up

the whole neighborhood.

My typewriter is in there.

- You said you travel light.

- I said I knew how to pack.

I'm a writer, remember?

Have a typewriter, will travel.

Come on,

I wanna put some distance

between me and Sacramento.

It's almost rush hour.

We still got to get gassed up.

Well, didn't you ever consider

gassing up last night

'so we wouldn't have

to hurry this morning?'

Briefly, but then

I remembered our agreement.

What? Oh, yes.

- All expenses -, right?

- Exactly.

Better give me a quart of oil.

Your best weight.

Hey, I think

we should take to Reno

cut across Nevada

and Utah to Grand Junction

then south through Colorado

straight into New Mexico.

Three days, easy driving.

Probably do it

in two and a half.

But I'd rather take South

through California.

It's more scenic.

We can head east further down.

But my way is shorter.

What is this? You have

an appointment or something?

I'm just trying to contribute

my half to this trip.

I appreciate that.

But could you limit

your contributions to expenses?

I'd like to see

one state at a time

starting with the one we're in.

Trust me,

you'll enjoy the long way.

Not unless you start

being a bit more pleasant.

'Are you always this grouchy

in the morning?'

I'm not grouchy.

You owe me . for gas

and cents for oil.

Trust me, I'll pay you

when I get change.

(Linda)

'You were right, This scenery

is worth a few extra miles.'

(David)

'Hmm.'

(Linda)

'Hey, if the weather holds'

'we might make a little

side trip through Yosemite'.

'Have you ever been

to Yosemite?'

- 'Mnh-mnh.'

- 'You have, have you?'

(Linda)

What's it like?

I've never been there.

Friends tell me

it's a really beautiful place.

Well, you probably

didn't mind it too much.

As long as

we're traveling together--

I don't believe it, he speaks.

...I think there are a few

things we should both clear up.

Okay.

What have you got in mind?

Number one.

[clears throat]

I have no intention

of getting myself trapped

in another relationship.

Things will be a lot

less complicated

if we just keep this thing

on a purely business-like level.

Well, never fear,

you're honor is safe with me.

This has nothing

to do with honor.

It was your idea

we travel together.

I just wanna make sure

that we both understand

what that does

and does not include.

Oh.

Well, I'm glad

you clarified things then

because I thought for sure

that your rotten disposition

'was merely your clumsy way

of playing hard-to-get.'

I don't play games like that.

You also don't know

how to take a joke.

(Linda)

'Want me to drive for a while?'

(David)

'Mnh-mnh. I'm the only one

who drives my car.'

(Linda)

'I'm more than capable

of handling this thing.'

'In fact, during

my ex-husband's car period'

'he even got me to take

a high-speed driving course.'

'Everything from skid pad

to crash techniques.'

(David)

'Well, since we're not doing

any high-speed driving

'and since I have no intention

of learning first-hand'

'your crash techniques

and since my car is all I own'

'I'm the one

who does all the driving.'

(Linda)

'I don't know, maybe

I'm paranoid or something.'

'But I've been around

the world two times'

first-class all the way.

It just seems like

the only things I've ever seen

are four-star restaurants

and fancy hotels.

Not particularly fulfilling.

Well, I happen to think

that this place here qualifies

as one of the best hotels

in the world.

For the first time today,

I have to agree with you.

But I don't recommend

the room service.

If you don't like it,

you don't have to eat it.

I didn't say I didn't like it.

But, uh,

I'll cook breakfast, okay?

Good, because I hate it.

[laughs]

You know, I knew there was

a laugh hidden in you somewhere.

Yeah, it's usually

a lot more obvious.

[coughs]

Uh, Linda, I'm sorry

about the long face today.

I don't know,

leaving Janet, my home..

Well, I guess I need a little

more time to figure out

whether I'm supposed

to be happy or depressed.

Well, time is one thing

you've got plenty of.

That's what

your trip is for, remember?

You know, I never did ask you

why you're going to Santa Fe.

Oh. Well,

there's this guy there.

- Figures.

- No, no. Not that kind of guy.

This guy is the father

of a sorority sister.

He's a real heavyweight

in publishing.

And I brought some samples

of my writing with me.

I'm hoping he can turn what's

been a hobby into a career.

That's really important

to you, isn't it?

Well, let's just say

I wouldn't mind

doing something

right for a change.

Haven't been

too successful lately.

Yeah, I know the feeling.

Well, I think

I'll wash up, turn in.

All this fresh air

is making me sleepy.

Wanna flip to see

who gets to sleep in the car?

Oh, no, don't bother.

You can have it.

I like to sleep outside.

- David?

- Yeah.

I'm glad you took the long way.

It really is beautiful.

(David)

'Well, you had your sh*t

at cooking breakfast.'

- 'Not bad, huh?'

- 'Not bad. Not good.'

(Linda)

'Can't you ever say

anything nice?'

It was hot.

[chuckles]

You're welcome.

Hey, look at that.

'I wonder what it's like

to fly one of those things.'

(Linda)

'Scary. I did it once.

I'll never do it again.'

That was during

my ex-husband's flying period.

Your ex-husband went through

a lot of periods, didn't he?

(Linda)

'Oh, yeah. He covered

just about everything'

'except, uh,

good husband period.'

- 'Sorry, I asked.'

- 'Don't be.'

Incredible.

That must be a foot drop.

Nope. In fact, it's on

the short side, feet.

Yeah? Wow.

Looks a lot higher.

I'm going in for a closer look.

(Linda)

Okay.

Say, listen here,

if your husband wants--

- Oh, I'm not married.

- Okay.

- If your boyfriend--

- Guess again.

If the guy

that you're traveling with?

If he wants some choice

pictures, he ought to save

his film and wait

till I get in the air.

My name is Marty Garfield.

Could you hold this

for a minute please?

Oh, sure.

Oh, hi, Marty, I'm Linda.

You've been doing this

a long time?

- Long enough to be number one.

- Oh, is that so?

I'm afraid

I'm not up enough on the sport

'to know all the players.'

You ought to take in

a contest sometime.

We got a good one comin' up

in a couple of weeks

which, by the way,

I plan on acing.

Ought to get your current

in a hurry.

Well, I'd say you could probably

win on confidence alone.

I believe in winning.

I don't believe

in false modesty.

Hey, need a hand?

If you're offering,

I'm accepting.

Oh, I thank you

for the help too, son.

This thing was never

designed for walkin' under.

That's for one sure thing.

- Let's put it down.

- Okay.

Say, if you're still

in a helpin' mood

I'd like you

to try something for me.

Sure.

Are you expecting

a lot of flyers here

for the competition?

Enough to keep

things interesting.

- All the magazines too.

- Magazines?

Oh, yeah. Hang gliding's

becoming a big money sport.

The Switchback Hill Open,

that's the one that's comin' up

is, uh, nothing to laugh at.

Is that why you do it?

For the money?

- I already got money.

- Then why?

[chuckles]

Well, why not?

[chuckles]

Hey, your friend over there

better watch himself.

'Hanging around

with old man Burwell'

'could give him a broken body.'

Oh, my God. David!

David!

- David!

- Hey, Linda, look, I'm flyin'.

[theme music]