this is my brother Pete and this is his
tattoo petunia she can do 25 sacred
dances including the leningrad slide
unfortunately petunias always had to go
it alone dance mogul booshka
dance that's cuz Pete would never join
in you see my brother whose fearlessness
was legend in three galaxies had one
secret fear dancing I just didn't know
how
so when Pete's first school dance came
around his reaction was
don't you dare I don't know how oh look
like it your green come on son
you're a wriggly come on show some
backbone you're going to go and gonna
have the time of your life now watch and
learn but Pete had a plan of his own
sure he's not the first kid who ever
tried to get out of the school dance
but according to three medical journals
I'm the only one to do it chilly this
two gals critical
you
you're gonna make it till we have car
accident cream corn poisoning when will
they learn when will they learn is no
answer so are you gonna miss your first
dance honey gosh dude me too
Pete may have lost his chance to dance
but he gained a jar of his own glowing
gut juice that t matter you yep
pumped it out of my stomach that gut
floods got me out of the dance
you're lucky my pops the SAP role in the
dance and he actually expects me to
dance with him he's been practicing all
week
laws against that I wish you were coming
push again I worked too hard to get out
of wait a minute you're good flesh it's
so pretty
we can sell looks for a buck apiece come
to the dance tonight
not dance bring your jar you can keep me
away from my pops and get rich same time
swear no dancing
we're in a pile of b*ating hearts okay
there'd be no turning back Pete his gut
flood and his best friend we're on their
way
oh that was nice driving son a dope
don't worry about that dog you had he
was kind of old
thanks for right my part in this story
would have ended here but then I saw her
I didn't know who she was
or why she smiled at me but I was sure
gonna find out
where are you - I'm going through my
ethnic a merit badge for more dances and
I'll be the first not used to get it
Ami's burn valor that girls off Potter
percent crept out trustworthy obedient
and speaking of obedient I expect to see
no trouble from you on the dance floor
tonight I'll be like I'm not even here
very well enjoy yourselves
what do you say Pookie ready to cut her
up sorry mr. on nose on duty
well I'll let you out of this one
but I got you down on my dance card for
ladies like you too
Wrigley hey Greg Lee mister glider
fourth grade gym remember me
I remember that throwing are yours you
don't see monster ball talent like that
anymore I'll tell you something remember
that play back in 89 and was astounding
yeah well it's good to see you again
yeah you know it was at Asus right right
and and Stacey Bernal was guarding meet
you let's see 25 cents each plus a
dollar tax counsel 125 each a dollar
yeah you're not getting beaten up tax
put yourself here net if you have a
dispute with our policy take it up with
the manager the manager was a
power-hungry criminal mastermind with a
nasty perspiration problem his one goal
in life destroy my brother the kid who
gave him his nickname
hit sting what he done drawstring there
to pay tax that's a serious offense
lick my forehead arm prick hey sweating
is the act of a healthy body
do something you're not gonna have much
longer take em outside
here's your stinking money Nona
how kind I hope you'll save a dance for
me later I'd rather be deep-fried in
armpit sweat
hey lookin all over for ya you guys
check out Monica man she looks
there's something different about it
she's all boo kajillion I'll be here
let's get out of the school while the
dance started rocking the cash started
rolling in everybody who would have been
spending their hard-earned allowance on
overpriced junk food was spending it to
see be shy hold on to your pins
another satisfied customer I leave you
alone for 10 where are all the customers
they're downstairs looking at the goose
gut sludge you got to see I went twice
it's it's time you learned to respect
your strollers I hope you do me the
honor anyway I'll say one thing for you
wrinkly you got guts
mr. Wrigley I believe I warned you about
making trouble what I want this mess
cleaned up now
no miss mecklenburg you go back to the
base your father's been looking all over
for you I'll be waiting for you so I
asked for you you're not to touch him
if just one hair on his head is out of
place they'll spend more time in my
classroom than the linoleum
all right mr. Ridley let's clean up this
that'll cost you a job Wrigley's but
belongs to me
fern Bauer won't let you touch more than
one wits in a warm head planned problem
give me a break
let's see what've we here Wrigley by
three ambidextrous on under the Sun of
Gemini ah here we are known fears wait a
minute
it looks like the maggots afraid of
dancing will peeping Lee get ready to
boogie
you found out you're afraid to dance
you're going to be waiting for you Pete
there's another way you could just try
dancing think of the great times petunia
had doing the leningrad slide
I can't all laugh I look like a PUD but
dancing so easy all you do is mmm
removing I'm doing this out of here like
a beef belch soon as I'm done
hey careful with that wax one spoonful
could turn this place into a skating
rink I got to go back upstairs
someone I got a meeting yeah you too I
felt bad for Pete but it turns out he
wasn't the only one who needed to take
evasive maneuvers
Monica was trying to keep a step ahead
of Wayne and Yoda was trying to steer
clear of her dad you're ready to strut
your stuff
as for me well I didn't know her name
but I was heading for her like a meteor
into this Sun
excuse me Pete Wrigley you don't
remember me you know you're right
nice singing mrs. Geller I'm a friend of
your mom's
my Melendez she's kind of shy I was
wondering if you could show her a stamp
and Willie
you aren't thinking of Bali on us
not before we have a pleasure see you
dance dancing so easy you just get out
there and ruin your life
now smell that
my stanza why aren't you out there
weren't you
Bob me I'm just waiting for the right
song something special me my girl
something special
hey thanks Bob record something special
excuse me mine
excuse me folks
looks like the dances nearing an end and
I wanted to send out a special message
to my little Pookie
Nona Mackel heard maybe after she hears
it she'll give her pop one lousy dance
our Carrie
and now I see you standing so tell me
would it k*ll just
with me is that so hard
okay Wrigley it's hard for your little
dance number whacked me are you nuts
you heard me now
who's that
No
there it was the doorway to freedom Pete
had made it but it looked like no no it
wasn't as lucky if Pete didn't get her
out of there
her dad was going to do her in no no
honey how about a dance
mr. Mecklenburg I was wondering if maybe
I could have the last names with Mona
but it's still fast dance I know but
it's my first I get it sure
okay Wrigley let's see what you got
we're waiting - you don't have to do
this yeah I do
okay I think I'll do my own
member
looks like it's now or never it's never
Wayne oh I understand
you got to go for that merit badge
that's important to you Wayne you can
what happened to your girlfriend she
kind of left me for an older man does
that mean here to brokenhearted to dance
oh I think I can handle it so that's the
story of Pete's first school dance
no records were broken no lives were
saved no mysteries of the universe were
so but for one dance everything
member
03x05 - Dance Fever
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Centers around two brothers, both named Pete Wrigley, and their humorous and surreal adventures in suburbia among their equally eccentric friends, enemies, and neighbors.
Centers around two brothers, both named Pete Wrigley, and their humorous and surreal adventures in suburbia among their equally eccentric friends, enemies, and neighbors.