03x13 - Saturday

[bunniefuu]

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it was just a normal Saturday like the

51 other Saturdays that year a day to

get a haircut a day to go to work

a day to buy new sneakers it all seems

so ordinary so Saturday but as we all

found out it was about as ordinary as a

kick in the head

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you

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[Applause]

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this is the story of a Saturday you will

read about in any history book

they'll never honor it with a parade but

in its own way it was pure super genius

what was Wayne so juiced about his

brand-spankin'-new creme star

nightwalkers they were more than just

sneakers to Wayne they were eleven point

two ounces of all-purpose poly wolven

rubber soled perfection this is the

moment we've all been waiting for the

atmosphere electric crowd as we know put

his nightwalkers to the test the hardest

test was still to come

baby safe and clean we knew the job was

too big for the FBI or even the NFL it

was a job for a Krebbs cow

Wayne what are you doing here nothing

got a neck ache or something big whoop

big whoop Monica

these are nightwalkers you know

razor-sharp pivots pinpoint stops I was

hoping you'd protect them for me keep

them clean

no can do we know today not yet but I

will when I find him

ooh ninja the master of all things evil

he's elusive way no shadow

shifty that's why I earned this kind of

merit badge

to stop him before he reams this town I

will roll near block by block until his

b*ating heart rests in my hair

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home going home feels good man I can't

wait late

get ready get set three get ready get

set free

get ready get set

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Green get ready Get Set green green all

right mr. traffic light

get ready get set

Green maybe it's broken

all clear on the Western Front so whatta

we this puppy back into neutral hey

that's just safe driving and you know

there's nothing wrong with that

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hey Pete welcome to quick as a bunny

pizza you've tried the rest now try the

best oh thanks Ellen but I'm on my way

to get a haircut from barber Dan barber

dad isn't he the guy who's yeah he's the

guy who's been cutting my hair for years

he still doesn't say a word to me he

just cuts and cuts and cuts I'll cut

your hair uh-huh no today it's all gonna

change Pete's got a plan to make Dan

talk what it's legal I mean Pete said it

was you want to come over and watch as

Dan and I make barbershop history Pete I

can't leave there are people out there

who need pizza hot and fresh they're

depending on me besides if I don't get

it there in 30 minutes I have to pay for

it double cheese a brownie going west

platelet

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don't just stand there zip me up here I

come world quick as a bunny

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[Applause]

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hang on they say quick as a bunny bunny

to the rescue Wayne I know I know

I shouldn't have taken the shortcut but

I did and now oh boy oh boy am I in

trouble

look frosting I'm trapped no way out and

you're the only one who can save me quit

as a bunny funny

notice how the aerodynamic design of my

nightwalkers cut through the air like a

Formula one spoiler No

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good afternoon Wellesley it's time for

another wel L lucky luggage giveaway

today's lucky winner is Stu Benedict

pick up my postcard Stu if you call the

wel L contest line in the next 30

seconds and if you know our contest

catchphrase you win a free it was just

another Saturday in well film yep just

your average wonder what I'm gonna do

kind of day

it was just another ordinary Saturday in

Wellsville ordinary unless you're lost

in a bunny suit with a hot pizza to

deliver your new white sneakers are on

the endangered species list you're

trying to protect the free world from

evil

where you've only got 20 seconds to call

a radio station and win a free set of

luggage and with skytruss catchphrase

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well.2 benedict here large and in charge

a menace to you got through all right

now to get that luggage all I need is

our contest catchphrase you've got 15

seconds no problemo for radio that rocks

keep going Roxette radio for all ribs

that radiate no sorries - better luck

next time

[Applause]

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[Applause]

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thanks for playing Stu and remember for

radio that rocks it's gonna be wel L

well looks like it's just you and me

again Dan what'd you say the nightmare

was starting all over again

I knew Pete had a plan to make silent

Dan talk but until then I was on my own

you remember when when I was a kid and I

used to cry and and you give me a

lollipop or how about what I'd ask you

what that blue stuff was and you don't

waste say so what's it gonna be yeah

that's what you'd always say still a

little off the sides in the back

so Dan when you need a haircut

who cuts your hair I mean where does a

barber go when he needs a barber yeah

whoa whoa hello

so where is good old Lou anyway now I'm

gonna ask you one last time

what do you know that barber did nothing

I tell ya I don't know nothin

I figured if anybody knew what Dan like

to talk about it was Lou and if anybody

could make Lou talk it was Pete this

guy's making me laugh so making you

laugh jack oh yeah I'm making in my

pants over here who the barber don't

know nothing about nothing

[Laughter]

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what do you think this is some kind of a

joke my bra is on the hot seat

okay okay I'm trying to think

look if I needed thinking might have

Einstein here instead I have a two-bit

here but you like to you now what I want

from you is answers Footwear yeah

Footwear Dan is enough about quality

Footwear bingo

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what where are you sure okay I'm going

in thanks Pete hey I'm back

did you miss me so Danny Boy I've been

thinking about getting some new footwear

and you know I hear those CREB star

nightwalkers are pretty good are you

looking for razor sharp pivots pinpoint

stops increased trajectory well who

isn't

Knight Wallace yeah it was like I turned

on a switch

thanks to Pete's info dad finally opened

up to the years and the silence just

melted away

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unfortunately so did my hair dad what

happened sorry pal at all I talk and I

must have lost concentration somewhere

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nearby a Monica's pursuit of the dreaded

ninja it's going nowhere extremely fast

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hey ninja fighter have you seen the

blood of many battles wave we live in a

dumb stupid town there are no ninja

warriors here not even a speck of evil I

just wasted my whole Saturday no you

haven't

I know three people that need you mister

left mr. right and uh mr. cool sorry

Wayne you're on your own

hang me up my sword for good

and there was Wade all alone

was he scared no skip partners a tiger

no wait I need to find west plate Lavin

oh do you realize you almost ruined mine

I only have eight minutes left it's down

that way yes

[Applause]

not now I'm busy

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there's a bunny at my door come in mr.

bunny do what playin afternoon it's an

emergency

well mr. bunny MS bunny my apologies the

light is red and human world red means

stop

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[Applause]

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ninja I see through your disguise

you dare challenge me all right

I'll fight to the death

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oh my pizza and the ninja pizza Ellen

Monica nem is it really you

oh you made it with seconds to spare you

are quick as a bunny with brains to

match

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I'm sorry I tried to k*ll you that's

okay

what do you think so the kreb scout and

the magic money skipped merrily down the

lead

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I am king

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[Applause]

so that's the story of our ordinary

Saturday if you look at it one way you

might think it was a day we'd want to

forget look at it another way and you'll

realize why it was a day we'd always

remember

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