04x03 - I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do

[bunniefuu]

Dad.

When I grow up,

do I have to get married?

Oh, no, Nicholas!

You don't have to get married.

You also don't have

to decide right now.

Why don't you wait till you

graduate from elementary school

before giving it

serious thought?

Why do you ask?

Well, I was at

Kenny P. Lander's house today.

And all his parents did

was yell at each other.

And I figured I get

yelled at enough as a kid.

Who needs it later?

Well, look. You-you can't

judge marriage by one couple.

Maybe Kenny's parents

were just having a bad day.

Besides, some couples show love

at the top of their lungs.

Well, at least, when you're

married, you get to yell back.

Now, you got the wrong

idea on marriage.

Besides the yelling,

there's, uh, all kinds of fun.

- There is?

- 'Oh, yes.'

You can't imagine.

Look at Abby and me.

How can I?

Your door is always closed.

Oh! Well..

Eh, that, uh..

Nicholas, clean the windshield.

Nicholas, the windshield.

[funk music]

[theme song]

♪ There's a magic in the

early morning we've found ♪

♪ When the sunrise smiles

on everything around ♪

♪ It's a portrait

of the happiness ♪

♪ That we feel and always will ♪

♪ For eight is enough ♪

♪ To fill our lives with love ♪

♪ Oh we spend our days ♪

♪ Like bright

and shiny new dimes ♪

♪ If we're ever puzzled

by the changing times ♪

♪ There's a plate

of homemade wishes ♪

♪ On the kitchen window sill ♪

♪ And eight is enough ♪

♪ To fill our lives with love ♪♪

Hi, is this Mr. Bobby Randall?

Well, I have a message

for you from Marsha.

Hold on.

[blowing harmonica]

♪ Bobby ♪

♪ How I miss you

How I miss you ♪

♪ My dear friend Bobby ♪

♪ I'd give the world to be ♪

♪ Back in the dorm with ♪

♪ B-O-B-B-Y because I love ya ♪

♪ Can't stop missin'

reminiscin' ♪

♪ My dear friend Bobby ♪

♪ When you come back ♪

♪ You'll see that

I can make you ♪

♪ H-A-P-P-Y because I'm.. ♪♪

Nancy Bradford.

And this has been a singing

telegram from Hot Wire.

What is Nancy doing out there?

- She's earning a living.

- It's her new job.

- Singing telegrams.

- Singing telegrams?

I thought they went out

sometime before World w*r II.

Well, they're back.

- Staying for dinner?

- No.

Janet and I have other plans.

Huh! You've had other plans

every night this week.

- Don't you love us anymore?

- Of course, I do.

It's just that

Janet feeds me better.

- Aw..

- Don't wait up.

Did I hear singing?

Dear ol' Bobby didn't think so.

[doorbell rings]

Nicholas, would you get that?

I can't face another critic.

Sure.

Hi, Nicholas.

How's my ol' buddy?

- Ooh!

- Fine.

You wanna play some catch?

Um, sorry, slugger.

I haven't got time right now.

Got a date with Susan.

You haven't had

time to play catch

ever since you caught Susan.

[sighs]

W-w-whoa!

Hello there, young lady.

Well, hello there,

handsome stranger.

I-I thought, uh, i-if you

weren't doing anything

you might like to

give me a kiss.

Oh, I'll think about it.

Oh, then

you've thought long enough.

[giggles]

Mm. Delicious.

Mm, must be

my chocolate mint lip gloss.

No, I think it's more

like your lasagna.

Oh, thanks a lot.

We've only been back

together a few weeks

and already the romance

has gone out of our lives.

Untrue.

You see, the secret

to true romance

is to avoid acting romantic.

Oh! Is that so?

Mm-hmm.

Especially when you're

too nervous to be romantic.

Oh, why are you nervous?

Because, I, um..

To tell you the truth..

[sighs]

I'm about to ask you...Janet..

Hmm.

Will you marry me?

Well, will you?

'Our engagement ring.'

'You kept it?'

I guess I always knew

you'd come back to me.

Then you will marry me?

[instrumental music]

- Good coffee.

- It's cocoa.

Really?

Yeah. I guess my mind's

been kinda drifting.

Oh, where to?

Well, I have something

I have to tell you.

What?

I have to go

on the road in a week

and I'm gonna be gone

for almost a month.

Oh, Merle, a whole month?

- That's forever.

- I know, baby. I know. But..

Paragraph C,

sub-section of our contract..

...us Cyclones are not

allowed to take girlfriends

on the road with us.

I'm gonna miss you.

I'm gonna miss you too.

Dumb paragraph C,

sub-section .

- Do you really wanna elope?

- I think it's the right move.

But why? I thought eloping

was something that kids do

when they couldn't get

their parents' consent.

It's not consent

that I'm worried about.

It's all the hassles.

Look, my family has been

walking on eggshells with us

ever since we got back together.

They don't wanna do

anything that might

cause problems between us.

I've noticed the same

with my parents.

Well, I don't wanna do

anything that might

cause problems

for either family.

Namely, putting them through

the bother of a big wedding.

Let's just do it.

Okay, I see your point.

But, why do we have to run off?

Why can't we just go down

to the justice depuis

and tell them that we love

each other very much?

Because I had something

more romantic in mind.

Nice little cottage

on Lake Tahoe, just you and me.

Nice quiet weekend.

- That does sound romantic.

- Yeah.

And then Sunday morning,

we'll go into town

find a chapel and presto,

we'll be man and wife.

Man and wife?

Husband and wife?

Man and woman?

Okay. I give up.

Well, what will we be?

Happy.

[glasses clink]

(Nancy)

'Hi, may I please

speak to Debbie Albert?'

(Debbie on phone)

'Oh, this is Debbie.'

Yeah, well I have

a get well message for you

from the g*ng down

at K & B Upholstery.

Yeah. Hold on.

[snaps finger]

♪ Debbie ♪

♪ How we missed you

How we missed you ♪

♪ Our dear rose Debbie ♪

♪ Yeah ♪♪

Hello?

Debbie.

Debbie?

[clears throat]

I guess some people

just don't wanna be cheered up!

[giggling]

Hi.

Hi, Nance, how's the job going?

Someone just hung up on me on

the middle of the first chorus.

What does that tell you?

Your future's not in

singing telegrams.

I didn't want the phone work.

I requested the live jobs.

'At least they can't

hang up on you.'

Well, what's the problem then?

My boss says I lack

the necessary performing skills.

Namely, dancing.

Dancing? Uh, you got..

Oh! With an expert like

Elizabeth around to teach you?

Come on, show her a few things.

Okay, now, watch this.

Watch this, alright.

Just somethin' simple,

you know, to do while you sing.

Good. That's good.

Alright, you have it already.

Almost.

Hey, that's terrific, Nancy.

In no time at all, you'll be

shuffling off to Buffalo.

Yeah. With my sense of rhythm,

I'll be dancing like a buffalo.

[all laughing]

(Susan)

'Merle, you're not supposed to

be here for two more hours.'

- 'I'm not ready yet!'

- I-I don't care.

Just get yourself down here.

- This is important.

- 'Okay.'

'But you have to promise not

to look, my hair's in curlers.'

Oh, I don't care about that,

just hurry up.

'You promise you won't peek?'

O-o-okay, okay. Just hurry!

Now, what's so important?

Uh, lead me

into the living room.

[sighs]

[sighs]

Okay. Couch is behind you.

Sit.

Look, uh, this could be

a lot more romantic

if I could look at you.

I wouldn't bet on it.

Okay.

Susan, I can't stand

the thought of being away

from you for a whole month.

Oh, Merle, I know.

I can't stand it either.

So, I'm gonna take you

with me, beautiful.

- What did you say?

- Um..

I said you're beautiful.

No, Merle, not that part.

The part about

taking me with you.

Did you forget

about sub-section ?

Nope, I-I remembered

sub-section .

I can't take my girlfriend

but I can take my wife.

What?

We can get married before

I leave, like, this weekend.

This weekend? You mean

in a couple of days?

But, Merle, how can we get

a wedding together by then?

I mean, there's

arrangements to make.

And-and we have to buy clothes

and have to get blood tests--

Are you sure

this weekend's soon enough?

(Tom)

'Oh, boy, it's meals

like this that are gonna'

'force me to wear

stretch-pants.'

(Mary)

'Mm, you can say that again.'

I think I'm gonna walk it off.

Anyone wanna go with me?

Sure, I could stand to walk off

a few hundred calories. Nance?

Oh, these days

I'm singing mine off.

Um, Joan and Mary,

could you wait a minute?

I.. Merle and I have

an announcement to make.

'Yeah?'

Oh, huh..

Um, Susan and I

are pushing up our wedding date.

- Alright!

- Wait a minute, Nicholas.

What do you mean, how far up?

To this Sunday.

This Sunday. This Sunday?

Four days from now,

Sunday? But why?

(Susan)

'Well, Merle has to go

on a road trip on Monday.'

- So?

- Well, dad.

He's gonna be gone a whole month

and-and we can't stand

the thought of being

separated that long.

Oh, Susan, uh..

I-I mean, you're not gonna

have time to plan anything.

Well, I was hoping

all of you would help.

Sure, we'll help.

I hope this

doesn't put anyone out!

Why you're looking so put out?

Susan and Merle just announced

that they're getting

married this Sunday.

Looks like we're gonna have

to cancel our wedding plans.

Again.

[instrumental music]

I don't believe it,

of all days to pick!

This Sunday.

Well, there's not much

we can do about it.

I say we just

go ahead with our plans.

Susan will understand.

(Janet)

It's not Susan

I'm concerned about.

It maybe Susan's wedding,

but it is a family occasion.

Everyone should be there.

We can elope next weekend.

Two days before

you start a major court case

and I start

a big construction job?

No, there won't be

this much time.

We'll make time.

I mean, the whole idea was

not to create a family hassle.

Wasn't it?

You're wonderful, you know that?

No, I'm just a woman

who loves you

and who understands

you love your family.

I just hope my family realizes

how lucky they are

to be getting you.

Well, if they don't,

we'll tell them.

[chuckling]

(Susan)

'Okay, everybody,

let's talk about Sunday.'

Elizabeth, um,

I'd like you to make

the phone calls

to invite the guests.

- Okay.

- Logical choice.

Oh, and I'd also like you

to make the wedding cake.

- Carrot, of course.

- Sure.

And, um, I've decided

to have it in the backyard.

- The cake?

- No, the ceremony.

- In the backyard, Susan?

- Yeah.

Are you serious?

I think it will be pretty with

all the trees and the flowers.

And the leaves that

need to be raked.

And the lawn that

need to be mowed.

I mean, where do we seat people?

Where do we do for music?

'Susan, this is only

a couple of days away.'

Come on, Mary.

And all you guys, I thought

you promised to help me make

my wedding beautiful, remember?

- Right.

- Okay, then.

We agreed on an outdoor wedding?

Yes, and it will be fantastic.

Good, then, um, I'm gonna

go to the garage and see

if I can salvage

that old trellis.

Yeah. Great.

Come on now, we're not

being fair to Susan.

I mean, maybe we all don't

agree with what she's doing

but it is her big day

and we don't wanna ruin it.

I'm sorry, Abby, but I--

It's just hard not to

worry about her, you know.

I know. But let's try.

What do you think, dad?

Will it hold a people?

Oh, a ?

Well, yeah, there's

of the Cyclones.

Not to mention, the day school

g*ng plus family friends.

Susan, I think that maybe

you better prepare yourself

for certain amount of fallout.

I mean, some of these people are

gonna have plans this weekend.

Plans that they can't

change so quickly.

Well, then I'll just find out

who my real friends are.

Wouldn't it be better if..

If I waited? Is that

what you were going to say?

Well, yes, I think it

might be more considerate

to give people a little time.

So that they can do

this right for you.

Dad, I know what's right for me

and that's to marry

Merle this Sunday.

You're sure about that?

Couldn't be anymore sure if

we'd been engaged for ten years.

Yeah, but I mean,

you were sure about other

young men you dated

too, you know.

Dad, I know that I've said

I've been in love in the past.

But those were

just infatuations, crushes.

This is the real thing,

dad. I know it.

Well, in that case,

your love will hold

until Merle comes back.

There's plenty of time.

Mary, now, you. Why is

everybody fighting me on this?

Oh, no. We're are not fighting

you. We're on your side.

Then stop spoiling

things for me, dad.

I'm going on that

road trip with Merle.

Wouldn't you rather

I go as his wife?

I just wanted to

tell you, Mr. Donahue..

...I've been practicing

my singing and dancing.

Yeah. And I really think

I'm ready for some live work.

B-but, Mr. Donahue,

if you don't give me a chance

how will you know

what I can do?

Oh, I see.

There are no live jobs?

None at all?

Okay, I'll call again next week.

Yeah.

Thanks. Bye.

Can't get the big break, huh?

Yeah, I didn't realize

singing telegrams

were such a competitive field.

Aw. It's okay.

Can't your dad take a day off

to see you get married?

Eh, during harvest season,

Nicholas

there's no such

thing as a day off.

You don't get

the crops in on time

the whole summer's work is lost.

Well, there'll be

plenty of people there.

And Tommy

will be taking pictures.

So you can show them

what they missed.

Yeah, slugger. Guess that's

what I'll have to do.

You've ever been to

a wedding, Nicholas?

Uh-huh. Dad and Abby's.

I was the ring bearer.

I'd say you're an old hand

at this sort of thing.

Uh, I guess so.

Then, maybe you can help me

out with this little problem.

What problem?

Well, see, I had always

promised my cousin Fred

that he'd be my best man.

Since Fred's not gonna

be able to make it

I'm gonna need a-a pinch hitter.

Now, I figured if it

weren't for you, me and Susan

wouldn't be getting

hitched in the first place.

So, slugger, how would you

like to be my best man?

Best man?

Sure, nothing to it.

I don't know.

I've never been

a best man before.

And I'm only ten.

Heck, Nicholas, I got

a feelin' you'll be the best

best man this

side of the Ozarks.

Okay, but I'd rather

be a bad boy.

- Hi, Joannie.

- Oh, hi.

Well, pretty soon,

this all will be yours.

Yeah. Heh.

It's gonna be lonely.

- Miss your snorin'.

- Yeah.

We spent the last

years together

in these spacious quarters.

Yeah.

Shared our secrets

and our heartaches

and our private thoughts.

- Our clothes.

- Yeah. That too.

And I can't think

of anyone else I'd rather

share my moment with.

Joannie..

...I want you to

be maid of honor.

Oh, Susan.

Your maid of honor!

You happy?

Oh, of course, I am.

It's-it's a great honor.

Well, frankly,

Joannie, I thought

you'd be a little

more enthusiastic.

Oh, hey, I will be, honest.

You wait and see,

really, on Sunday

I'll be vibrating

with excitement.

You too, huh?

What do you mean?

Well, I expected static from

dad, Joannie, but not from you.

- Thanks a lot.

- Oh, Susan.

Susan, it's just because

I care for you.

So much, and you're so young.

- Oh, forget about it, Joannie.

- Susan!

Oh, no!

Hi, is this Clarence Bigelow?

[chuckles]

Everyone calls you Bingo, huh?

Well, anyway, Bingo,

my name is Elizabeth Bradford

and I'm calling to invite you to

Merle and Susan's

wedding this Sunday.

[chuckling]

Yeah. How about that?

The old pearl did

finally get snagged.

By my sister.

Yes.

Well, uh, the ceremony

starts at o'clock sharp.

Well, great, then

we'll see you Sunday, Bingo.

Me? No, no.

I'm not married.

Uh, thanks, Bingo, but I think

I'll wait a few more years.

Yeah, bye-bye.

Bingo.

[yawning]

How come I'm doing all the work?

Seniority, squirt.

That's not fair.

When will I get seniority?

Well, when Susan and Merle

have their first kid.

- Really?

- Sure, you'll be his uncle.

You can really

push the kid around.

Alright!

I said a nail, not a bolt.

Oh.

I'm sorry, I guess

I wasn't concentrating.

Is all this getting to you too?

[sighs]

Well, I'm trying not to let it

but I can't help but wish

we were the ones

getting married on Sunday.

It's not too late to change

our minds and go to Lake Tahoe.

No, we'll have our chance.

We shouldn't spoil things

for Merle and Susan.

I-I'm sorry, eh, what-what did

you say your name was again?

E. David Charles.

Oh, yes! Yes, now I remember.

You are the, uh, director

of publicity for the Cyclones.

And a man

with a very interesting

proposition for you, Tom.

Uh, may I call you Tom?

Go ahead.

You have already. Ha ha ha.

[chuckles]

Right.

Now, Tom, here's what

I have in mind.

What would you think

of two young lovebirds

brought together at home plate

before a grand stand

of captivated fans

who send them lovingly off

down the base paths of life?

Brings tears to

your eyes, doesn't it?

No. It doesn't.

[scoffs]

Think about

the possibilities, Tom!

'It's great publicity

for the team.'

And the owner will pick up

all the expenses.

Look, how much money you'd save.

I don't care about the money,

this is my daughter's wedding.

All I care about

is her happiness.

What girl wouldn't be thrilled

marrying a famous pitcher

in front of a throng

of adoring fans?

And I suppose we'll have

the umpire perform the ceremony.

Hey..

You may have something there!

Of course, we couldn't

use a real umpire.

But if we dressed

the minister up

in a chest protector,

then perhaps--

- This is ridiculous.

- No, this is spectacular.

Look, you're not going

to make a spectacle

out of my daughter's wedding.

You may leave, sir.

- I struck out?

- Out!

[door opens]

Susan, did you know

what the publicity man

from the Cyclones

had in mind for your wedding?

- Yes, dad.

- Well..

Well, this thing is turning into

a three ring circus.

Calm down, dad, Merle told

E. David to forget it.

You missed the point.

If you're going to make

hasty decisions like this

then you're just

opening the door to chaos.

It's not the way

I wanted it, dad.

I know that, so here's

what I want you to do.

'I want you to just consider

postponing the wedding'

to give you sometime to think

and give us time to prepare.

Right now,

things are so frantic!

Oh, I see, dad.

All this has become a little

too much for you to handle?

And for Mary, and for Joannie?

No, no, no. Try to understand.

I do understand, really.

- We'll call it off.

- Alright, for how long?

- Forever.

- What?

We'll call off

the wedding plans, dad

but we won't call

off the marriage.

Merle and I will just elope.

We don't need a family

who doesn't need us.

[dramatic music]

Good morning.

Anybody want any breakfast?

Uh, not really.

What's the old expression?

Let them eat cake?

It sure was selfish

of Susan to run off to Reno

and leave us with

half a wedding.

Now, wait a minute,

don't blame Susan.

Dad did a real number on her.

(Mary)

'Don't be so quick

to blame dad either, Tommy.'

I think we all did

our little number on Susan.

I mean, you have to admit

that we weren't exactly

exuberant about her plans.

Oh, boy, I sure wasn't.

She asked me to be

her maid of honor.

I tried to be enthusiastic

about it, you know, but..

...she could see I didn't

approve of her decision.

Which, when you think about it,

is really none of our business.

Oh, it is, when you

care about someone.

Yeah, well sometimes

this family cares too much.

Nancy, that's not true.

It's just that

when two people are in love

they usually

follow their hearts.

No matter who cares.

[sighs]

Tom?

- Tom.

- Hmm?

Oh, Abby, I'm sorry.

I didn't hear you come in.

I noticed.

I guess morale's

pretty low around here

for everybody today, huh?

Yeah. And as usual,

I'm the villain.

Oh. That's not true.

You weren't the only one who

thought Susan was being hasty.

Abby, are we wrong

to try to protect

our children from

hurting themselves?

No, we're not wrong.

Maybe sometimes we're just,

um, a little over protective.

What am I supposed to do?

Tell her that I approve

of her marrying a boy

that she's only

known for a month?

I-I had to say what I feel.

That's right, you have

to say what you feel.

And you could not have foreseen

how things were gonna turn out.

I can't stop thinking.

The first of my children

to get married

and I'm not even gonna

be there to see it.

I thought you guys were gonna

set up the trellis.

Well, haven't you heard? Susan

and Merle took off to Reno.

- They-they eloped.

- They eloped?

- What? Why?

- I don't know.

But if you find out, will

you please tell me so I ca--

I guess Susan didn't figure

we were too hip

on the idea of them

getting married, so they split.

I don't believe it.

(Tommy)

'Neither does dad.'

And if I were you,

I'd tiptoe past the study.

This is the last time

I try to arrange my life

around my family.

Oh, come on, David.

Think of how much

planning and arranging

our families went through

for the wedding we canceled.

Yeah. What are we

supposed to do now?

Oh, I don't know.

- Get married?

- Now, wait a minute.

You saw what one elopement

did to this family.

I don't think

they can handle another.

That's not exactly

what I had in mind.

What is going on in that

devious little mind of yours?

Well, since we were planning on

getting married this weekend

anyway, and, uh, since

everybody was so disappointed

there isn't gonna be a wedding

and...we worked so hard

to make the backyard beautiful..

You're suggesting we take

Merle and Susan's place?

Why not?

Why not?

Well, I guess someone should

think about fixing dinner.

I'm not hungry.

You haven't eaten all day, Tom.

Yeah.

You know, I bet Susan

is married by now.

[door opens]

- Hi, guys.

- Oh!

I didn't know you two were here.

We were on the porch

having a little discussion.

Yeah, Janet and I decided, uh

if it doesn't upset

things too much

we'd like to take

Merle and Susan's place.

What was that?

You mean, you guys

were thinking of..

Ironically enough,

we had planned

a nice, quite ceremony

out of state

but we shelved our plans

to be here for Susan's wedding.

You wanna be married?

Tomorrow? Here?

(David)

Yeah, if it's okay.

I realize we're last minute

replacements

but I think we make

a decent bride and groom.

Oh, you always have!

Oh, David, Janet.

Oh, that's so exciting!

I don't believe you.

This is great!

- 'Isn't that great?'

- 'Thank you.'

I don't believe it.

I just finished

calling all the guests

and nobody is coming.

Nicholas has Irving J. Moore

devouring all

the homemade canapes.

We still have time to

put it together, you guys.

- Now, that's the spirit.

- What about Susan?

Joannie, it is too late

to worry about Susan.

What we have to worry about

right now is David and Janet.

Okay, I guess

it's back to the phones.

If Tommy touched that cake,

I'm gonna layer him!

- Don't worry.

- I'm worried.

No, he won't.

[instrumental music]

Susan?

Honey, I thought

you were hungry.

I am.

Hey, you could've fooled me.

You haven't touched a bite.

Hey, now.

See that cook over there?

Well, he may not look like it

but he's very sensitive

about his cooking.

And you don't wanna hurt the big

fella's feelings, do you?

Okay. Cute's not gonna work.

Can I ask you something?

Is this the way people

are supposed to act

just before they get married?

'Cause, speaking personally,

I'm kinda excited about it.

I'm sorry. I guess

my mind wandered a little.

W-where did it

wander off to, honey?

Oh, back about years

when I was a little girl.

Yeah?

I don't know, it's just,

well, when I was little

on rainy days, I used to

sneak up to the attic

and I'd take my mom's

old wedding dress

out of the old trunk

and hold it up in front of me

and, uh, I'd act out

the whole ceremony.

- Y-you did?

- Yeah.

The old-the old trunk

would be the altar

and we had this bird cage

and that would be the preacher.

And mom and dad

were always smiling at me.

So was the rest of the family.

Everybody was there.

And then, I'd look over

at my husband

and...we'd be holding hands.

Then we'd kiss.

Heh, all the boxes

and the cartons would cheer

and-and I could hear the music,

from behind the walls..

[humming]

Then it'd get real quiet

a-and I could hear the raindrops

on the roof again..

Then I'd fold up the dress

and put it back in the old trunk

for another rainy day.

- Come on. Let's go.

- Huh?

I'm not gonna let you

miss out on your dreams.

(Elizabeth)

'Yeah, that's right, Dr. Max.

The wedding is back on.'

Uh-huh. Yeah, same time,

same place.

Different bride and groom.

Okay, we'll see you Sunday.

Bye-bye.

Oh, you guys, that's everybody

and believe it or not,

they're all coming.

- Great.

- Yeah, I believe it.

A Bradford wedding

is a major event.

Sure is.

[telephone ringing]

Hello.

Yes? Uh, this is Nancy Bradford.

Oh, hi, Mr. Donahue.

What?

You really mean it?

A live singing telegram!

'When?'

'Tomorrow?'

'I can't.'

My brother's getting married

and I..

I can do both?

What?

The telegram's for my brother

and his wife?

Wait a minute. Who sent this?

Oh, I see.

'And she said only

I could perform it?'

'Oh, yeah, I can

handle it. Sure.'

Thanks. Yeah. Bye.

Joannie, thanks.

[laughing]

I got a few breaks in my time.

It's nice to give one

for a change.

Thank you.

[knocking on door]

Wha..

I don't understand.

Are you married already?

Could we talk to you, dad?

Yes, of course. Come in.

Dad, it was-it was childish

and selfish of me

to run away like that,

and I am sorry.

I don't know

who it hurt more, you or me.

What's done is done.

Don't worry about it.

No, it's not, dad.

We didn't go through

with it, Mr. B.

Oh.. You mean

you're not married?

(Merle)

No, sir.

Susan loves y'all so much.

There's...no way we could have

got married without you there.

It just took me a little while

to realize it, dad.

Oh. Well, I'm glad you did.

You had a decision to make

and you made it.

It was yours to make.

Nobody can tell you whether

you're right or wrong.

I shouldn't have tried to.

Mr. B.

I want you to know right now

y-you don't have to worry

'cause I'm gonna take such

good care of your little girl..

I-I'll do anything it takes

to make her happy.

Just wait and see, I'll..

You have already

proven that, Merle.

How long have they

been in there?

Well, I saw them pull into

the driveway ten minutes ago.

Just long enough for dad

to hit the ceiling.

So, we-we have your blessin'?

Oh, yes, yes, you certainly

have my blessing

but I think you better

check with David and Janet.

They have to approve

our marriage?

(Tom)

'If you still plan on being

married here tomorrow, they do.'

Wait a second.

Uh, Susan, aren't you two, uh..

No, we're getting married

tomorrow, as planned.

That's funny. So are we.

- W-what's going on?

- We sort of took your place.

I-if nobody objects, I propose

that we have a double wedding.

I second the motion.

Sounds good to me.

Some of my best games

are double headers.

[all laughing]

Well, it's up to you.

Well, this family has always

been known for its togetherness.

Why stop now?

[all cheering]

[indistinct chatter]

[pounding on door]

(Tommy)

'Joannie, if you don't come out

of that bathroom in two minutes'

I'm gonna break the door down!

Joannie, I mean it.

I can't find my dress!

My dress! Uh, didn't somebody

pick it up from the cleaners?

- Here's your dress.

- Oh, thanks, Nance.

You're welcome.

Joannie, I'm gonna give you

till the count of three.

- One.

- My uniform!

- Where's my uniform?

- Two.

Nancy, remember

you wanted me to hem it?

Oh, thanks.

Three!

[door slams]

[knocking on door]

Anybody but Merle can come in.

[door opens]

- Hi.

- Hi.

There's no law

against the father

seeing the bride, is there?

No.

Susan..

I...I was up in the attic

and I...brought you this.

[instrumental music]

Your mother wanted you

to wear it.

She had this wonderful dream

about watching all her daughters

walk down the aisle.

She wanted the first one of them

to wear the dress that she wore

when we got married.

She was a beautiful bride too.

Susan, I'm sorry about

everything that happened.

Oh, I'm sorry too, dad.

It's just that I...

I love you so much.

And, gosh, you grew up

so fast that I-I can't

stop thinking of you

as my little girl.

Dad, I don't want you

to stop completely.

It's just..

...when other people are around

let's pretend that

we are a modern, mature

liberated father and daughter.

But when we're alone,

just the two of us..

...I want you to be my daddy

and I wanna be your little girl.

Okay, you've got a deal.

I love you, daddy.

I love you too...little girl.

[instrumental music]

David, you think you can give me

a hand with these cufflinks?

Are you kidding,

I've been trying to do mine

for the last ten minutes.

Let me do it.

Why are you guys

so nervous anyway?

Hey, slugger, we're getting

married in a few minutes.

Big deal.

Hey, don't worry.

Your time will come.

I'm not getting married.

Why not?

Takes your mind

off important things.

Like baseball.

Oh, heh, phew!

Oh, it's just gotta fit!

Susan, calm down. In a second.

- Okay.

- Am I in?

Yeah. Turn around. Let's see.

Oh, you look wonderful.

- You really think so?

- Yeah, I really think so.

Oh, let me see.

Oh, no, but look

at my hair, Abby!

- What am I gonna do with it?

- Oh, Susan, relax.

Oh, I can't help it.

I'm so scared.

Oh, I didn't think

I'd be like this.

Why should you be different

from any other bride?

Well, how did you feel?

What's it like being married?

Oh, gosh, well, there are

as many different answers

to that question

as there are husbands and wives.

You shouldn't compare

your marriage to anybody's.

But, w-were you sure about

you and dad when..

I mean, were you sure that

you were gonna be happy?

Susan, I was sure

I loved your father very much.

And I was sure I would reach

the place in my life

where I was capable

of making the, the sacrifices

and the compromises

that are necessary

for a successful marriage.

Oh.

Do you love Merle that much?

Oh, Abby, I really do.

Well, then, stop worrying.

I have a feeling

you're gonna do just fine.

Thanks.

Well, you know, I would have

liked to have my mother here

but I'm sure glad

that you're here.

Oh, thanks.

[knocking on door]

Hi. We finally made it.

Is that what you're wearing?

Yeah, it was my mother's dress.

It's beautiful.

I'm afraid I'm gonna be

a bit underdressed.

Why? What are you wearing?

You are looking at it.

[snaps finger]

Follow me.

Bye.

[instrumental music]

Ta-da!

Oh, Abby!

[gasps]

Oh..

- Oh, I couldn't.

- Oh, but you must.

It's not doing any good

just hanging in the closet.

But I mean, it's yours.

I mean, it's your wedding dress.

I know, so maybe, we'll start

a new Bradford family tradition

that all the women

marrying into this family

must do so in this dress.

[both laughing]

Well, I hope Tommy and Nicholas

marry girls who are size eights.

Yeah.

[birds chirping]

(Mrs. Maxwell)

'Tom.'

We're so happy for you.

There you are,

you old son of a g*n.

How did you manage it?

Getting rid of two of them

at the same time.

You know me, Greg. When it comes

to kids, I deal with volume.

Everything looks super.

Well, the kids

did it all. Twice.

Now, remember, fellas.

Be on your best behavior.

We don't wanna

embarrass the team.

Right, Mr. Charles.

And, Bingo, you think you could

take that gum out of your mouth?

This a classy affair.

Right, Mr. Charles.

Ladies.

Oh, Mr. Bradford,

I'm glad to know

you're not the kind of man

to hold a grudge.

Oh, no, no. That's alright.

I'm just glad that

you could come.

And I've got to admit.

This is a lot nicer

than the infield.

Yep. That grass sure is a lot

softer on the old cleats.

- Are you ready?

- Oh, yeah, just a minute, dad.

Um, there's Janet's father,

I think.

Hi.

Tom, I just want to reiterate

what I said over the phone.

I fully intend

on splitting everything -.

Oh, well, that's very

generous of you, but--

No, no, no, I insist.

I only wish you'd let me

and Sylvia in on the planning.

That's part of the privilege

of giving away the bride.

Yeah, well,

we'll discuss it later.

Right now, I wanna make sure

they get married.

[Sylvia sobbing]

Oh. Not yet, mom.

I can't help it.

Everything is just so beautiful.

Anyway, I always cry

at weddings.

Except my own.

[chuckling]

[both sigh]

Well, this is it.

- Good luck.

- You too.

Susan, I think they're ready.

Come on, Sylvia.

Susan, you look

absolutely beautiful.

You do.

Susan, I wanna apologize

for being so insensitive.

'I'm just glad you came back

to share it with us.'

I love you.

Well, I understand.

It's just there's a...little bit

of dad in all of us.

[guitar music]

[music continues]

[instrumental

"Here Comes The Bride"]

[music continues]

It's the only family

I still make house calls for.

Please be seated.

Who gives these brides away?

(Tom and George)

We do.

Today I've been given

the opportunity to perform

the happiest and most gratifying

of a cleric's duties.

To join in holy matrimony

two people.

Four people.

'Who have chosen to make

a lifetime commitment'

to each other.

The Greek poet Aristophanes

once theorized

about the quest of love.

'He said that at creation'

'humans were created

as one being.'

'Half man, half woman.'

'At birth, these two halves

were separated.'

'Torn apart and placed

in separate wombs.'

'And from that time of birth'

'these torn halves search

for each other.'

'That is the quest of love.'

'And when the quest is over

and love has been found'

'there is a marriage.'

'The joining again

of these two halves..'

...into one whole being.

'Here today, we witness

this holy reunion.'

David and Janet.

Susan and Merle.

You may say your vows now.

I, David Bradford

take Janet McArthur

to be my wedded wife.

To have..

And to hold

from this day forward..

For better, for worse.

For rich or for poor.

In sickness..

And in health.

To love, honor and respect

till death do us apart.

'Do you, David Bradford,

take Janet to be your wife?'

I do.

'Do you, Janet'

'take David as your husband?'

I do.

'Do you, Merle Stockwell,

take Susan to be your wife?'

I sure do.

'Do you, Susan, take Merle

to be your husband?'

I do.

'And by the power

vested in me by this state'

it is my honor

to pronounce you all..

...husbands and wives.

Grooms, you may

kiss your brides.

Alright!

[all laughing]

[guitar music]

[music continues]

Well, we did it.

Yeah, and it didn't turn out

too bad, either.

Are you kidding?

It was beautiful.

It sure was.

You know, I can't believe it.

Two of my children,

actually married.

Yeah, but, dad,

you got six more to go.

Do me a favor. Don't rush.

I don't think I can take it

six more times.

Hey, dad, it could have been

sooner than you thought.

I came pretty close

to catching the bouquet.

Oh, you came close! Elizabeth,

I came that close to it!

I touched it, for a second.

So who finally did catch it?

- Bingo Bigelow.

- Oh, no..

Well, he is the catcher.

Hey, you guys.

Where is everybody, huh?

Oh, Nancy, you're too late.

They took off already.

Yeah, but I didn't get

a chance to sing my telegram.

Alright, Nancy.

You're center stage.

This I gotta hear.

Yeah, come on.

♪ Da-da da-da da da ♪

♪ Dave and Janet got married ♪

♪ And so did Susan and Merle ♪

♪ First there were eight of us ♪

♪ Now there are ten of us ♪

♪ Adding a boy and girl ♪

♪ Dave and Janet got married ♪

♪ And so did Susan and Merle ♪

♪ Now we are just

one happy family ♪

♪ And he's just wild about ♪

♪ She's just wild about ♪

♪ We're just wild about you ♪

Come on, dad. Go.

♪ Da-da da-da da da ♪

Alright!

[all humming]

♪ And he's just wild about ♪

♪ She's just wild about ♪

♪ No you're just wild about ♪

♪ I'm just wild about ♪

♪ He's just wild about ♪

♪ You're just wild about ♪

♪ Wild about you ♪♪

[all cheering]

[theme music]

[music continues]