04x18 - The Commitment

[bunniefuu]

[knock on door]

(Tom)

'Nicholas,

what are you doing up?'

'You should have been in bed

a half an hour ago.'

Dad, I don't think

I can go to bed

until I figure something out.

What?

(Nicholas)

'Well..'

What's an old wives' tale?

Oh, it's a misconception,

Nicholas.

It's-it's a story,

or a saying that's taken

as truth, but has no basis

in actual fact.

I don't want a definition.

I want an example.

Well..

Can't this wait until morning?

Dad, I don't think I can fall

asleep until I figure this out.

[sighing]

Alright.

Let's see, uh..

An old wives' tale..

An old wives' tale...would..

Well..

Use my definition

and you think of one too.

Okay.

I've got it.

Eat a lot of spinach

and get real strong.

No, no, no.

That's from "Popeye."

Uh.. Oh, I've got one.

"An apple a day

keeps the doctor away."

No, actually that's an adage.

An adage is different.

I've got it.

"Starve a fever, feed a cold."

No, because I read once that

there's some truth to that one.

Well, looks like

I'm just gonna have to stay up

and watch TV

till we think of one.

I've got one, Nicholas.

It just came to me

this second.

A little boy that doesn't

get to bed on time

wakes up in the morning

with a very sore behind.

That's an old wives' tale?

It's an old dad's tale.

Get to bed, Nicholas.

[instrumental music]

["Eight Is Enough"]

♪ There's a magic in the early

morning we've found ♪

♪ When the sunrise smiles

on everything around ♪

♪ It's a portrait

of the happiness ♪

♪ That we feel and always will ♪

♪ For eight is enough ♪

♪ To fill our lives with love ♪

♪ Oh we spend our days ♪

♪ Like bright

and shiny new dimes ♪

♪ If we're ever puzzled

by the changing times ♪

♪ There's a plate

of homemade wishes ♪

♪ On the kitchen windowsill ♪

♪ And eight is enough ♪

♪ To fill

our lives with love ♪♪

[instrumental music]

- Hi, dad.

- Hey, what's in the box?

Come here and take a look.

- Oh, look, it's baby clothes.

- It is.

- Aw.

- How cute.

Yeah, those were David's

first pair of jeans.

Yeah, he hasn't worn

anything else since either.

Elizabeth, this was your dress.

Oh, yes, back

in the good old days

when I wore a size minus six.

Huh-huh.

I found these up in the attic

and I thought maybe

Susan could use them.

Well, dad,

aren't they a little old?

Yes, I don't think

Susan wants her baby

smelling like mothballs, dad.

No, they can be washed.

You kids don't realize,

it's very expensive

to have a baby.

Merle and Susan

are just starting out.

'They need all the help

they can get.'

- Maybe, you're right, dad.

- I am right.

And I want you

to do me a favour.

The next time you throw

a load in the wash

throw these in with them, okay?

- Sure, dad.

- Okay.

[all chuckling]

Guys, we can't let dad give

Susan these old hand-me-downs.

Well, but they're not that old.

Oh, yeah?

When was the last time

you saw a little kid

wearing an "I like Ike" T-shirt?

[laughs]

Come on, Marvin. I don't

wanna just sit here all day.

We could sh**t some baskets.

How does that sound?

Nah.

What about electric football?

No, that's alright.

Come on, Marvin, you've been

acting weird all day.

Nicholas..

...if I told you

something, you promise

you'd keep it a secret?

Sure. What?

[sighing]

I think I'm..

I think I'm in love

with Darla Wienberg.

Darla Wienberg!

Come off it.

No, this is serious.

I think I'm really

in love with her

but I don't know

what to do about it.

Well, why don't you

just tell her?

I can't do that.

- Why not?

- I'm too shy.

Well, you can write

her a note.

Girls love to get notes.

- They do?

- Sure.

Take my word for it.

How come you're such an expert

on girls all of a sudden?

When you live

with a house full of 'em

you pick up a few things.

Now, let's get out of here.

[instrumental music]

Well, well. What's been

taking you so long?

I've been waiting to do

that since homeroom.

Well, you should have

stopped me in the hall.

Well, what you wanna do?

You hungry?

No, I don't think I can

do anything right now.

How come?

I promised Liz

I'd go shopping with her.

Aren't you forgetting something?

- What?

- Today is our anniversary.

- Oh, no.

- How could you forget it?

It was two months ago,

today, we had our first date.

I thought women were supposed

to remember things like that.

I know.

That's why

I've planned something

very special for tonight.

Yeah? What?

I'm cooking you dinner

at my house.

Great! Just the way I wanted

to celebrate, with your parents.

That's what's special.

My parents are going out.

We'll have the whole house

to ourselves.

- How's that sound?

- Sounds like I'll be there.

Okay, good.

Around seven?

- Yeah, I'll see you then.

- Okay.

Bye, Liz.

[indistinct chatter]

Hey, what's happening,

Bradford?

Hey, Ernie.

Brandon, its been a long time.

Yeah, we saw you out there

in the parking lot

exercising your

senior privileges

with the numero uno

of the junior class.

Yeah, well,

when you got it, you got it.

Yeah.

- Jill's a, a nice girl.

- I say.

Of course, uh..

I haven't got time

to mess with, uh, nice girls.

- What's that supposed to mean?

- Hey, don't get me wrong.

Big girls like that

are great for walks in the park

and holding hands

in the movies.

But when it comes down

to real action

'they are strictly off-limits.'

What makes you so sure?

Oh, you got something to tell us

that will prove me wrong?

- Well--

- Yeah, I didn't think so.

Hey, look, man,

I know what's happenin'?

That's why I don't mess

with high school chics anymore.

- You don't?

- 'Nah.'

I've moved up..

...to college women.

College women?

Yeah, see they're a little

more, uh, experienced.

Well, all I know is, uh,

Jill invited me over for dinner

tonight and she made

a special point

'of getting rid of her parents.'

Alright, Bradford.

Well, I better be gettin' ready.

- Catch you later.

- 'Have a good time.'

Hey, uh, Bradford..

Good luck, only, uh,

if I were you I wouldn't

get my hopes up too high.

I'll never forget him.

How's that orthopedist

you know?

- Bob Tacus?

- Yeah.

- Are you still seeing him?

- Oh, off and on.

Actually, I'm thinking

about giving up

on doctors altogether.

As soon as they find out

you're as smart

as they are,

they get intimidated.

I know what you mean.

Yeah, and the ones

that don't, wanna talk

about medicine all night long.

So, I've decided to spend all

my spare time playing tennis.

- That hopeless, huh?

- Just about.

Now we won't make a big

production out of this.

Just us and a few close friends.

About or so.

Twenty-five

is a big production.

(Nancy)

'Well, Susan

has a lot of friends.'

Besides, more guests,

more gifts.

- True, true..

- Right.

I think we can handle that.

- Oh, hi, Mary.

- Hi, uh, Kerry Durham.

This is my family.

This is Elizabeth.

- Hi, Kerry.

- Nice to meet you.

- This is Joannie.

- Hi, Joannie.

- And Abby.

- Hi.

- Kerry. How you doing?

- And this is Nancy.

- Oh, hi.

- Hi, Nancy.

Mary, I'm glad you're here.

We were just plannin'

a baby shower for Susan.

Yeah, what do you think?

Well, it sounds

like a great idea

except none of us know the first

thing about having one.

Well, I gave a shower

for my sister

last year, it's really easy.

You know, you just make

a little food

and get somethin' to drink

and play a lot of silly games.

That we..

We can do that.

What's goin' on here,

an ERA convention?

- 'Oh, hi.'

- 'Hi, Tommy.'

Tommy, this is my girlfriend.

This is Kerry.

Kerry, this is my brother,

Tommy.

Hi, Tommy, nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you, Kerry.

- You're beautiful.

- Oh, thank you.

What are you doin'

hangin' out with Mary?

- Oh.

- Cute.

Oh, you must be

the brother that breaks

all the hearts at Central High.

Well..

Oh, is that our little

brother blushin'?

Grow up, Elizabeth.

If you'll excuse me,

I have to get ready for a date.

- Jill?

- Yup, Jill.

She's a lucky girl.

Oh, I'll tell her you said so.

[instrumental music]

You know, it's, uh,

nice celebrating this way.

Lucky, your parents

got those tickets.

It wasn't all luck.

Those tickets took a nice chunk

out of my savings account

but...it was worth it.

You know, uh,

the past couple of months

have been pretty nice for me.

Me too.

And I just thought

we should make it official.

Oh, Tommy.

Nothin' but the best

for my woman.

[laughing]

Tommy.

I love you.

[music continues]

Well, I think it'd be a lot

more fun if she didn't know.

Well, now, listen,

if it's gonna be

a surprise baby shower,

we've gotta figure out

how to get Susan over here.

Maybe we could get Merle

to help with that.

Oh, yeah, good idea.

Right, I'll call

him tomorrow.

Well, is the father supposed

to come to this baby shower?

Well, traditionally,

it's women only.

That sounds kind of sexist.

Maybe we should buck tradition

and let the men come.

I think there's a couple

of reasons why it's women only.

- Like what?

- Men would hate it.

And besides it would

double the guest list.

Uh, let's keep it traditional.

Yeah.

[instrumental music]

Tommy, no.

- Why not?

- Because I don't want to.

Well, that says a lot

for our relationship.

What do you mean?

I mean that when two people

are seriously involved

in a relationship,

sex is a part of it.

We're the only couple I know

that hasn't gone past necking.

That's not true.

And besides, I don't care

what other people are doing.

We're talking

about you and me.

I'm not ready.

Well, I am.

Tommy, I'm only sixteen.

My parents just started

letting me date

a year and a half ago.

They tell me I should

wait until I get married

and...at this point

I'm not so sure they're wrong.

Are you kidding?

This is .

Nobody waits until

they get married anymore.

Some people do.

Now, look, maybe,

someday I'll change my mind

but right now I'm afraid

and I'm confused.

And the least you could do

is try to understand that.

All I understand

is that it's getting

mighty tough

to be understanding.

- 'Hi, Tommy.'

- Hi.

How was your date?

(Tommy)

'Not terrific.'

Aw, well, we all have

a bad night now and then.

Yeah. Where's Mary?

Oh, she's upstairs

getting a book I lent her.

Why don't you keep me company

until she comes down?

Sure.

So, Mary tells me

you're in a rock band.

Oh, we're just startin'.

You know, playin'

some local spots.

I've always found

rock musicians irresistible.

Oh, really?

(Kerry)

'Yeah.'

As a matter of fact,

I made a fool of myself

at a Jackson Browne

concert last month. Oh.

- How?

- Well..

I was sitting in the balcony

getting into his music,

you know.

And, uh, all of a sudden,

I had this irresistible urge

to go up on the stage

and touch him.

'So, I-I went down

to the front seats'

'and, I, um, fought my way

through the crowd'

and the next thing I know,

I was standing on the stage

next to his piano.

- You're kidding.

- No, really.

I was two feet away from him

when the bouncers

threw me off the stage.

They almost broke a rib.

Well, I-I'll tell you what.

Whenever we have

our first big concert

I'll make sure

you get front row seats.

Okay. But would you do

me a favour?

Would you promise me

that if I lose control

and go up on stage,

you'll let me touch you

'before the bouncer

drags me off, okay?'

I cross my heart.

Cross your heart, what?

Nothin', Mary.

Kerry, it was really nice

talking to you.

- I have to go to bed.

- Oh, goodnight, Tommy.

Goodnight.

That is one cute brother.

[instrumental music]

Yup, to know him is love him.

Bet it is.

[music continues]

[instrumental music]

Oh, hi.

If your heart's set

on the shower

you're in for a let down.

I just used up

all the hot water.

That's okay.

Hey, w-what's the matter?

Um, I'm not

too sure I can tell

my older sister about this.

Come on. I can take it.

Step into my office.

Okay, what is it?

Well, I have to make

a decision..

...on whether I'm gonna see

Jill anymore or not.

Well, why? I-I thought you guys

got along real well.

We do.

So, what's the problem?

You know..

Jill's kind of straight.

You mean,

she doesn't fool around.

Right.

And you're thinkin' about not

seein' her because of that?

Tommy, maybe Jill

doesn't believe in casual sex.

Well, it's not casual,

I really like her.

Then you should

be more understandin'.

Look, whatever you do

don't push her into it.

'You'll lose her for sure.'

Maybe that's not

such a bad idea.

'I mean, there are other

girls, you know.'

Ones you care about as much

as you care about Jill?

Guess I'll never know

until I find out, will I?

[door shuts]

Uh..

I still don't know

why you can't write this?

You're the one who said

you knew so much about girls.

Just don't make it too mushy.

Don't worry,

I'm not the mushy type.

Just wanted to make sure.

Alright. How about this?

"Dear Darla, I've liked you

from the first day of school.

"I would like to meet you

some time after class.

"If you want to meet me,

leave a note in the cloak room.

Marvin Harris."

You signed my name!

How else is she gonna know

who it's from?

I don't want her

to know who it's from.

- At least, not yet.

- Why not?

She might not show up.

Listen, just sign it

as "Your secret admirer."

'I'll stick it in her desk

before she gets to school.'

[whispering]

Secret..

[sighing]

Me and Darla Wienberg.

Nicholas, this could

be the real thing.

Now, in order for it

to be a surprise

you'll have to get her

here at o'clock on the dot.

Susan's gonna love it.

Are you sure

she's not busy tomorrow?

Uh.. Don't worry.

Even if she is, I'll make sure

she's here at :.

- Great.

- I think everything's done.

Oh, yeah, except for buying

the gifts and the food

and the drinks

and inviting everybody.

Well, uh,

I forgot a few things.

Hey, you think I can get

in here a minute, Rapunzel?

I'm in a hurry, huh.

- Where're you goin'?

- Oh, to meet Jill.

Oh, how are you two doin'?

Um, not bad. I thought

I'd give her another chance.

Oh, well, in that case,

the mirror's all yours.

I wouldn't dream

of letting Jill see you

with a curl out of place.

[doorbell dings]

- Oh, Kerry, hi. Come on in.

- Hi.

I came by to see if your sister

wanted to play a little tennis?

Oh, well, uh, she's still

at the hospital.

Oh, oh, I really felt

like playing a few sets.

Mm, I don't think

she'll be home for a while.

- Hi.

- Hey, Tommy, you play tennis?

Well, yeah,

I'm not too bad.

You're up for a little workout?

- Sure.

- Hey, but I thought you--

Elizabeth, why don't

you run along upstairs?

Yeah, okay.

I guess I'll run along.

- Bye, Kerry.

- Bye, Elizabeth.

- Just give a minute to change.

- 'Yeah, okay.'

[grunting]

You got another set in you?

Oh, I just went easy

on you with that one.

You're ready to lose big.

Oh, you think so, huh?

We'll see about that.

[breathing heavily]

(Tom)

'So you're going away

for a few days?'

Yeah, we reserved the cabin

up at Yosemite for next weekend.

Oh, it should be beautiful up

there, this time of the year.

Yeah, are you sure

the army blankets are down here?

Everything is down here.

Why don't you move

some of that stuff there?

It might be behind it.

Nope.

Hey, is this

what I think it is?

Uh-huh.

Oh, my gosh.

You know, I moved

this down here

around ten years ago

when Nicholas outgrew it.

Oh, suddenly I feel very old.

I mean, I slept

in this crib too.

All eight of you

slept in this crib.

It must have been crowded.

Hey, how does it feel

knowing that in a few months

you're going

to be a grandfather.

Oh, it feels nice.

You know something,

if we sanded this down

and gave it a coat of paint,

it'd be as good as new.

We could give it to Susan

and Merle and number nine.

Hey, yeah, and if we work

on it tonight

and tomorrow morning,

we could get it done

in time for Susan's shower.

Don't say anything. I want it

to be a surprise for everybody.

Okay, okay.

[clears throat]

Let me help you...gramps.

[indistinct chatter]

Boy, when you get

your second win

you don't

mess around, do you?

Well, I try and stay in shape.

I'll say.

I'm used to playing

with guys who start

feeling their age

in the middle of the second set.

You looked

terrific out there!

Oh, yeah, I'm a natural

born athlete.

Yeah, well,

you look like one.

Thanks.

You know, I really had fun.

It's so hard just to have fun

when you're in medical school.

I had a good time too.

Uh, maybe, we could

play again tomorrow.

Oh, I'd love to,

but I got a class till :.

Oh, well,

how about tomorrow night?

The high school courts are lit.

Well..

If you're busy, I..

No, it's just that there

is Woody Allen movie

on TV tomorrow night.

- Oh. Yeah, he's terrific.

- Yeah.

Oh, why don't you come over?

I'll fix a little dinner,

we can watch it together.

Well, that sounds decent.

You sure you wouldn't

be too bored

hangin' around

with an old woman like me?

Are you kidding?

I think you're great.

Aw, Tommy, thanks.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chatter]

Hey, Bradford, how did it go

with Jill last night?

Oh, forget Jill.

Why, you struck out, huh?

No, just decided

to take your advice, Brandon.

'I've decided not to mess around

with high school girls anymore.'

You have?

Yup, I found myself

an older woman.

A -year-old older woman.

She's crazy about me.

And she invited me over

to her house, tomorrow night.

- Way to go, Bradford.

- Alright.

[music continues]

Good morning, everybody.

My, don't you look

nice today.

As a matter of fact

you all look

exceptionally beautiful today.

What's gotten into you?

Gotten into me?

Is there something wrong

with showing your..

...appreciation for the women

in your family?

(Mary)

'Considering that you've never

shown it before, yes.'

Tommy, would you like

some breakfast?

Oh, no, Abby, I really can't.

I have to run

along to school now.

But thank you, and you all

have a nice day, okay?

- Oh, yeah.

- Well..

I guess things

are getting better with Jill.

Or Kerry.

Kerry?

[instrumental music]

- Tommy.

- Oh, Jill, hi.

How are you doin'? I've been

trying to get a hold of you.

- You have?

- Yeah.

I, uh, wanted to talk

to you about yesterday.

What about yesterday?

Didn't we have a date?

Oh, yeah, but something

kinda came up.

What kinda came up?

Well, I had to help

my sister's friend.

And by the time I got back,

it was just too late.

You could have had

the decency to cal.

Yeah, I know. And I'm sorry,

it won't happen again, okay?

Okay. Well, what about tonight?

Well, tonight's kind

of a bad night.

Oh.

It's not that I don't

wanna see you or anything.

It's just that I'm kinda busy.

Okay, well, we'll make it

some other night then, okay?

Yeah, sure, I'll call you.

Hey, listen, I'll catch you

later. I gotta run, okay?

- I felt him kick.

- Really?

Y-yup. I-It felt

like Pele was in there.

Oh, I don't know, Merle,

that might

just be my stomach kicking.

I just ate an avocado

and chocolate syrup.

Oh..

Well, you know,

when you're pregnant

your body craves

what it needs.

Your body needed

chocolate sauce and avocado?

Yes. And right now it needs

French fries and maple syrup.

Oh, uh, wait a minute, honey.

Uh, can I ask you somethin'?

Um, do you have anything

planned for tomorrow afternoon?

Well, nothing I know of.

What do you have in mind?

Uh-uh, nothing special.

I...just thought we could sit

in front of the fire.

You know, spend some time

together, just the two of us.

Oh, that sounds real nice.

Now, promise you'll be here,

all afternoon.

Oh, I don't know

why I wouldn't be.

Great. Oh, but could

you promise me one more thing?

Promise you won't eat

where I can see you.

Oh-h-h.

I tell you, David,

it was like a real-life fantasy.

'She came over

to the house to see Mary.'

I didn't even

have to make a move.

I looked at her,

she looked at me

and bang!

Sparks started flyin'.

Really?

Sparks in broad daylight? Wow.

David, I'm serious.

Man, you should have seen

the way she was coming

on to me at the tennis courts.

And then, she invited me over

for dinner tonight.

Kinda hard to misread

those signs, huh?

It sounds great.

Except, I thought, you were

going with a girl at school.

Yeah, well, I don't

have time to play

footsies with her anymore.

Kerry's got

a lot more to offer.

Um..

Tommy, how old is Kerry?

Pretty old.

I'd say around your age.

What are you after,

her social security?

What was that supposed to mean?

I can remember you goin' out

with a lot of older chicks.

She digs me. Besides, we have

a lot of the same interest.

Music, sports,

we relate on a lot of levels.

Tommy, it's a fine line

that separates

fantasy from reality.

David, this chick

means business.

Yeah, whatever.

I gotta split.

Uh, David, could I,

sort of borrow this?

I don't wanna show up

empty-handed.

Yeah.

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chatter]

[sighs]

Nicholas, are you sure

that flowers and candy

aren't too corny?

Don't worry,

girls are suckers for it.

I see it on TV all the time.

What if she wants

to kiss me or somethin'?

Will you relax?

There's nothin' to it.

Wh.. Well, what do I tell her?

Well, just tell her

that she's real pretty.

And if she starts to talk

about her grandparents

just tell her

that they sound real neat.

What if she wants to go steady?

Marvin, I wouldn't expect

too much on the first date.

Hey, here she comes.

Now, you're on your own,

and good luck.

No..

Marvin, what are you doing here?

Oh, uh, huh?

Oh, the note,

the note said to meet you here.

Not you. Nicholas.

He's my secret admirer.

No, I-I-I don't think so.

Marvin, I know

Nicholas' handwriting.

- You do?

- Is this some kind of joke?

[instrumental music]

Oh, there you are, Nicholas.

Hey, Marvin, wait.

[instrumental music]

- Oh.

- Hi, dad.

- Oh, hi.

- Hey, what's that?

- What's what?

- That.

Oh, th.. Oh, oh,

this is a mattress.

Yeah, well, we can see that,

but isn't it a little bit small?

Yes, I'm glad you noticed.

It's, uh,

i-it's for my back exercises.

Back exercises.

Then, how come there's monkeys

and elephants all over it.

Oh, well

that's because

circus performers use them.

Oh.

Right.

Ooh, heavy date tonight, huh?

- Yup.

- To see Jill?

Nope, Kerry.

Kerry?

My friend Kerry?

That's right.

Tommy, you have no business

going out with Kerry.

What's the matter,

don't you think

I'm good enough

for your friend?

I don't think

you're old enough.

Well, she does.

And that's all that matters.

You see, Mary, some women

can recognize the fact

that my maturity

goes way beyond my years

And Kerry happens

to be one of 'em.

Tommy, don't be naive.

Look, Mary,

why don't you knock off

the mother hen routine, okay?

I'm a big boy, perfectly capable

of handling my own love life

without any static from you.

(Elizabeth)

'Tommy, there's someone

here to see you.'

I'll be right down.

Tommy, please,

will you wait a minute?

Mary, I don't

wanna have to tell you again.

Keep your nose

outta my business.

Yeah.

[instrumental music]

Hi.

Hi, Tommy.

So, uh, what's happening?

That's what I wanted

to know this morning.

But that's before

I went to Benny's

and heard all

about your latest conquest.

Oh, I-I don't know

what you're talkin' about.

Look, Tommy,

I don't like being strung along.

Now, apparently, this doesn't

mean anything to you.

So, why don't you

just take it back?

Well, slow down,

give me a chance to explain.

You know, if you really

cared about me

the least you could have

done is kept it a secret.

Jill, wait a minute.

I just hope

you get what you want.

[door shuts]

[music continues]

Here, wait a minute.

Let me help you with that.

This is gonna be tricky.

- Sorry.

- Uh, no.

Cork just adds

a little flavor. Oops..

Hey, thanks for bringing wine,

that was real nice.

Sure.

Just a second.

Okay.

There you go.

Well, here's looking

at you, kid.

Thank you.

You know, uh, we've only been

friends for a couple of days

but I feel really close.

Aw, that's nice.

I feel close to you too.

Uh, maybe,

it's because of your eyes.

I never realized,

they were so deep.

You have beautiful hair.

Tommy, what are you doing?

Now, you know

what I'm doing.

- No, I don't.

- You know, me and you.

Tommy, I don't know what

you expected tonight, but..

Wait, a minute, you were all

over me at the tennis court.

Tommy, I think

you should leave.

Now.

[exhales sharply]

[indistinct chatter]

She really threw you out?

Are you kidding? I thought she

was gonna call the vice squad.

Well, look at the bright side.

At least you still have Jill.

No, I don't.

She heard about Kerry,

and she gave me my ring back.

What a mess.

How do these things happen?

Hey, Bradford,

you don't look any different.

What's that supposed to mean?

Yeah, I don't know.

I just figured after your

date with the older woman

you'd look

a little different, that's all.

Lay off, Brandon.

Oh, don't tell me you blew it.

You know, I had

hopes for you, Bradford.

Brandon, why don't you shut up?

Don't tell me to shut up.

Somebody should have told you

to shut up a long time ago.

If it weren't for you

and your big mouth--

Hold it!

Who's got a big mouth?

You do. Because of you

Jill found out about Kerry.

Hey, you weren't exactly,

keeping it a secret, you know.

Listen, Bradford, you wanna

stop people from talking

you begin by keeping

your own mouth shut. Huh?

'Bradford..'

What are you doing up so late?

Oh, I had so much on my mind,

about the shower

I-I couldn't sleep.

You're home kind of late

from your date, aren't you?

My date ended

about o'clock.

I've been wandering around

trying to get things straight

in my mind ever since.

What's wrong?

My love life

is in ruins, that's all.

What happened?

[sighing]

Well, Jill dumped me,

because she found out

I was seein' Kerry.

And Kerry kicked me

out of her apartment..

...because I tried

to put the make on her.

You tried to put

the make on Kerry?

I thought she wanted me to.

You mean you wanted her

to want you to.

All I know

is I've lost them both.

Tommy..

...you never had Kerry

in the first place.

But I had Jill.

Well, then I hope

you learned something.

What, I'm a total jerk?

No.

That caring for somebody

is a lot more important

than just sleepin' with them.

Yeah.

I just wanna think of Jill,

and how I feel about her.

None of that stuff seems

important anymore.

It's a tough lesson to learn.

It doesn't do me any good now.

Well, maybe not,

but you'll know the next time.

And you won't make

the same mistake.

You're gonna go up to bed?

Nah, I think

I'll stay here a bit longer.

Okay.

Goodnight, Tommy.

Thanks, Nance.

(Nicholas)

'Marvin, I told you

I didn't know'

Darla had a crush on me.

And if I did, would I have

written that letter?

Yeah, she asked me

to go to the movies.

You know I wouldn't be

a rat like that and just go.

I told her

I had to ask you first.

Oh, hold it, M-Marvin, M..

Oh, this is heavy.

Why are they so little?

Well, they are finger sandwiches

they're supposed to be little.

Yuck, what's all

this green stuff?

Oh, Nicholas, put those down.

They're for the baby shower.

Why do they call it

a baby shower?

Because the baby

is showered with gifts.

But it's not even here yet.

Well, it's not

really for the baby

it's more for the mother,

so that she'll have things

when the baby arrives.

The, why don't they call it

a mother shower?

Nicholas..

Why don't you go over

to Marvin's for the afternoon?

I can't, he's mad at me.

Well, you have

to go someplace.

'No men are allowed

at the shower.'

Oh, then I'll just

go to Merle's house.

At least

he makes a decent sandwich.

You can't go to Merle's.

Merle's bringin'

Susan over here.

Boy, the kid isn't even born

yet, and he's already a pain.

Hi.

Merle called yet?

Yeah, yeah, I talked

to him this morning.

He said,

he was gonna go jogging

and then he'd bring Susan

over when he got back.

Great.

Susan!

Honey, where are you?

Susan?

"Shoppin' for baby clothes?"

Uh, heck, Susan!

Mm, it's perfect, but, um..

- Crushed ice?

- Right. Of course.

[telephone ringing]

Hello? Merle, where are you?

Shoppin'?

Hey, you guys, shake a leg.

We've already got guests.

- Okay, here you can take that.

- Merle lost Susan.

What?

Look, Merle,

you've gotta find her quick.

Merle, we're counting on you.

Bye.

[indistinct chatter]

What's going on? Well,

where's he gonna look for her?

I don't know.

Well, what does she look like?

Well, she's pregnant.

Just about every woman

who comes in here is pregnant.

Oh, yeah.

Uh, well, she has red hair.

And she wouldn't

buy anything that wasn't

natural or inorganic.

Oh, that was your wife.

Yeah, she was here.

She left a little while ago.

Oh, brother..

Thank you.

[doorbell dings]

I'll get it.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- May I come in?

- Of course.

Oh, Mary,

I don't know if you heard

about what happened

at my apartment last night.

Yeah, I got

a fourth-hand report.

Look, I'm really sorry.

Tommy's--

Uh, it wasn't

all Tommy's fault.

Look, is he around?

I'd really like to talk to him.

Yeah, he's in his room.

Why don't you go on up?

Thanks.

[guitar music]

[knock on door]

Come on in.

Tommy?

Got a minute?

Yeah, come on in.

Tommy, I came to apologise

for the way I acted with you.

You wanna apologise to me?

Don't you think it should

be the other way around?

I might have

said or done something

that made you believe

that I was thinking

of you as more than a friend.

And if I did that, I'm so sorry.

Nah, it's okay.

I wanted to believe it.

It's not that I don't

find you attractive.

It's just that I think that

you need someone your own age.

Yeah.

Well, I had someone, but, uh..

...I blew it.

- Jill?

- Yeah.

- I guess I really hurt her.

- Hm, because of me?

It's not your fault.

It's mine.

I just wish there was someway

I could take it all back.

(Kerry)

'Well, you can't do that.'

But, you know,

I thought I had hurt you

and I knew that if I came

over here and spoke with you

honestly and openly about it

'we'd both go away feeling

a whole lot better.'

Jill won't even see me.

No, maybe not,

but it's worth a try, isn't it?

[instrumental music]

[yawning]

Well..

(Joannie)

'You certainly have

an interesting family.'

'Yeah, they, uh,

they sound real funny too.'

[all laughing]

Have I told you

about little Bobby?

Yeah, I think you did

right after your chubby Kathy.

How about Sara?

- Sara?

- Oh, Sara was my first.

The first

is always the roughest.

All those false alarms.

And my husband,

you should have seen him.

'Mr. Cool, Calm and Collected.'

It was a miracle

I got to the hospital.

[laughing]

Well, would you excuse us,

we have to, um..

Oh, sure.

Hi, there,

how many kids do you have?

I have four.

Workin' on the fifth.

Guys, they're gettin' restless.

And boring.

Where's Susan?

- I don't know.

- Has anybody heard from Merle?

(all)

No.

Well, what are we gonna do

with woman out there

that are bored stiff?

Well, let's not panic

or anything like that.

- No.

- Well..

I've got an idea.

Okay, everybody, now, uh..

the game

that we're gonna play is called

"How well do you know

the mother to be?"

And, and it's really simple.

So, what I'm gonna do is,

I'm gonna ask you a question

- Everybody listening?

- Uh-huh.

- Yeah.

- Good.

And what I'm gonna do

is ask you the question

and you supply the answer

that you think Susan would give.

- Okay.

- Okay, here we go.

And the first question is

'"If, Susan, has a boy'

what would she want

him to grow up to be?"

A, a baseball player?

Aw.

B, an aluminum

siding salesman?

C, an organic dirt farmer?

Or D, a bee keeper?

Okay, everybody,

you can write it down.

Isn't this fun?

'Okay, everybody.'

'Uh, since we all

had so much fun'

'answering the first question'

'we're gonna do it again,

but we're gonna answer'

'a different question

this time 'cause..'

Um, first, what we'll do

is divide this group into pinks

and then we're gonna divide

this group into blues. Okay?

So if you guys are all ready

now, we'll start right away.

Alright, get your pencils ready.

'Uh, okay.'

'Now, all the pink people,

raise your hand.'

'That's good, good.'

'Now, if you're

gonna have a baby..'

I don't see what

the big rush is.

Well, your family

is waiting for us. Come on.

Oh, what's goin' on?

- Susan.

- Susan!

(all)

Surprise!

Surprise!

[indistinct chatter]

[indistinct chatter]

Hey, Nicholas.

You missed

a good movie yesterday.

Don't tell me

you went with Darla.

No, I went

with Kenny P. Landerson

He knows a neat way

to sneak in all the exits.

You know something,

this is kind of stupid.

I mean, us being mad

at each other over a girl.

I know, six weeks ago,

I didn't even like girls.

I don't know

what it is.

Sometimes girls can just

make you do dumb things.

For sure.

You wanna be friends again?

Yeah, us guys

need to stick together.

[indistinct chatter]

[guests chattering]

'Would you believe she

got two of everything?'

[indistinct chatter]

Okay, this is from me, Susan.

Oh, okay.

You never gonna believe it.

Well, I figured that you could

never have enough pink dresses.

[laughing]

- Uh, excuse me.

- David, what're you doing here?

Quite, counsellor.

Uh, Susan, dad and I have

something we'd like to show you.

- Oh. Look.

- Oh..

Susan, this is for you

and my future grandchild.

This is the Bradford crib.

Oh, thanks, dad.

Every Bradford has spent

a night in this crib.

From David on down.

In fact, I spent many a nights

sitting next to it

when you were sick,

and I was trying

to sing you to sleep.

Oh, this is the most beautiful

present I'll get, dad.

Thank you.

Dad, that's where you have

been hidin' all these things.

Yeah. David and I refinished it

and put in a new mattress.

Oh, you know, Susan,

it's not totally unselfish.

I figure by the time, you

and Merle are through with it

Janet and I might

have need for it.

[giggling]

[instrumental music]

Forget it, Tommy, it's over.

I know, Jill, just please,

listen to me for one minute.

Okay, but only for a minute.

Look, I was a jerk

for the way I treated you.

I'm sorry. I really am.

And I know you don't

believe this right now

but I really do care about you.

You're right,

I don't believe it.

Okay, so you hate me

and you don't

wanna see me again.

I can understand that.

But please, believe me.

I really feel bad,

for what I did.

Nobody deserves

to be treated that way.

Especially when you care

about somebody

as much as I care about you.

[instrumental music]

I made a mistake,

a big mistake.

I hope I didn't

hurt you too much.

I'm okay.

Well, that's all

I wanted to say.

I'll leave you alone.

Tommy, thanks

for telling me that.

I don't deserve a thanks.

Stop.

Will I see you

in school tomorrow?

Sure.

[instrumental music]

Abby, it just occurs to me.

We never gave Susan

the old baby clothes.

Well, that's why

we gave the baby shower

so Susan could

have some new things.

Oh..

But there was a whole boxful.

Whatever became of them?

Oh, I think

the girls were talking

about donating them

to the Smithsonian.

Come on, you guys.

- Hi.

- Hi, where are you guys going?

Well, we're gonna take back

the gifts we got for Susan.

Why isn't Susan helping you?

She's taking back

all the stuff Merle bought

when he was out

lookin' for her.

- See you later.

- Bye.

- Bye.

- Bye.

- See you, later.

- Oh, Nicholas!

Nicholas, don't you

want some breakfast?

No, I'm kind of in a hurry.

Where are you going?

Well, me and Marvin

wanna get to know

this new girl

in the neighborhood.

But, Nicholas,

don't you remember the last time

you and Marvin got

involved with the same girl?

Yeah, but this is different.

I mean, we don't

even like this girl.

Why do you wanna get to know

a girl you don't even like?

She's got a ping-pong table.

See ya.

He's your son.

[instrumental music]