04x19 - Seven More Days in February

[bunniefuu]

[instrumental music]

Nicholas,

you're writing valentine's.

Only because my teacher

says I have to.

I think it's nice

it'll make all your friends

feel good.

Swell.

Let's see

what you're writing there.

"To, Cindy..

Sincerely, Nicholas Bradford."

'Sincerely?'

Well, what's wrong with that?

Nicholas, valentine's day

is a day when we express

our affection to others.

It's a day when we share

our most intimate feelings

with the people

that we really care about.

'Sincerely is much too formal.'

- 'Put something else.'

- Okay.

- Nicholas, you can't put this.

- Why not?

You told me to share

my most intimate feeling.

You were right,

sincerely was just fine.

That's what I thought.

[theme song]

♪ There's a magic in the early

morning we've found ♪

♪ When the sunrise smiles

on everything around ♪

♪ It's a portrait

of the happiness ♪

♪ That we feel and always will ♪

♪ Oh eight is enough

to fill our lives with love ♪

♪ Oh we spend our days like

bright and shiny new dimes ♪

♪ If we're ever puzzled

by the changing times ♪

♪ There's a plate

of homemade wishes ♪

♪ On the kitchen windowsill ♪

♪ And eight is enough ♪

♪ To fill our lives with love ♪♪

[instrumental music]

(Elliot)

'Tom, do you know

what I've been thinking?'

(Tom)

'No, Elliot, but I'm sure

that you'll tell me.'

I have been thinking

that it is far too long

since I've expressed to you

how important you are

to "The Register."

I don't think you know how much

I, and indeed the rest

of the staff on the paper here

appreciate you.

'We, here at the paper

feel that you--'

Alright, Elliot, give.

What is it that you need

from me this time?

Whatever do you mean, Tom?

Well, I mean,

the last time you told me

how important

I was to "The Register"

you needed help writing

your son's fourth grade play.

[laughing]

Well, you know, as a matter of

fact, there is one little thing.

'My niece, Kati,

is in town visiting.'

'Of course, she used to live

here, but that was years ago'

and now she's back East

at college

and she's on her

winter break, and..

Well, she doesn't know

any one in town

'and I thought that, uh--'

Yes?

Well, I just thought

that it would be so nice

to be able to introduce her

to someone her own age.

Oh, and you felt that Tommy

is just around her age, right?

- Tom, you are so perceptive.

- I'm afraid not, Elliot.

I always make it a policy

never to interfere

in my children's social lives.

Tom, I'm not asking

for a big romantic date

I'm asking for a friendly,

innocent little evening

to help make the poor kid's

vacation a little nicer.

I'm afraid not, Elliot.

If not, she'll be stuck around

the house watching reruns

of "Gilligan's Island."

I'll see what I can do.

Sure you won't come

with us, Abby?

- Uh, no, thanks.

- Uh, it's gonna be your loss.

- Really?

- Bye, Abby.

- Oh, excuse me, dad.

- Hi, dad.

Bye, dad.

- They're going skating.

- Oh, oh.

- Well, is Tommy home yet?

- I think so.

Well, Elliot Randolph wants me

to set Tommy up with his niece.

Oh, Tommy will love that.

Yeah, she's in town

for winter break.

Oh, no!

The girls..

Winter break.

Calm down, Tom.

Why didn't I realize

it was that time of year.

You think it's gonna be just

like last year, don't you?

It's the same every year.

- 'That's not necessarily so.'

- The girls go crazy.

They meet a bunch of crazy guys,

they proceed to drive me crazy.

First of all, most of the girls

are out of school

except for Susan, who's married

and Elizabeth, who's going

to study with Jack, and Mary

who's much too level-headed

for that kind of thing.

Winter break is a state of mind.

- Circumstances are irrelevant.

- 'The girls are older now.'

They're more mature,

they're much too smart

to get mixed up like that again.

I wish I could

share your optimism.

I can't help it,

I feel sorry for Elizabeth.

I think you're crazy.

Jack's great.

Well, I know, but it's her first

winter break.

Oh, come on, Nance, you remember

when we were in college.

We loved to have a boyfriend

when winter break started.

[chuckles]

Yeah, I know,

but somehow she'll be missing

the challenge

of finding someone.

Panic is something

one doesn't miss, Nance.

Oh, I sure don't.

Boy, there's one thing

I don't miss about college

is the whole adolescent

approach to love.

Really? Falling in love

with love is just immature.

I guess so,

but it got to be such a habit

especially this time of year.

(Joannie)

Oh, really.

You know we ought to do

something to break

the pattern this time, huh?

Like what?

How about the buddy system?

Sure, that'll work,

if we all stick together.

- Keep an eye on each other.

- Yeah.

Seven days, winter break will be

over, the pattern will be broke.

Sounds okay, I guess.

Great, let's skate.

- Alright.

- Together.

Uh, I'll join you in a sec,

Mare.

- Oh, Joannie--

- I won't even look at a guy.

Alright, but hurry.

You're a sucker for the first

weirdo that comes along.

Oh, boy!

- 'Okay, pull.'

- 'Come on, Mary.'

- 'I'm coming.'

- 'Oh, boy! Oh!'

[Mary laughing]

Hi, I'm Kent.

I'm sitting next to you now.

How do you feel about that?

Uh.

[chuckles]

You know, this is like

the blind leading the blind.

Oh, gosh. Oh, come on.

Wait, wait, Mary. Hold up.

[laughing]

Oh!

You're laughing.

Not at you.

I'm laughing at my sister.

She fell, right?

And that made you laugh, right?

Right.

I love to laugh.

You'll find it's more fun

from this position.

Thanks, I wouldn't know yet.

You care for a steady arm

while you get the hang of it?

No, that's okay,

but thanks anyway.

I taught Dorothy Hamill

everything she knows.

[laughs]

Okay.

I never said specifically

I taught her how to skate.

[laughing]

And the best part is they'll

be here for the whole break.

I can't believe these guys

drove all the way from home

just to surprise me.

[chuckles]

I can't either.

[exhales]

Now tonight,

we're gonna hit Old Town

and then tomorrow,

we'll do the basic tour stuff

uh, go by the capital

and all that.

- 'And the next day--'

- Uh, hey, what about us?

Well, you can come along,

Elizabeth.

Oh, gee, thanks.

'I didn't mean it like that.'

'I just assumed

you'd want to, that's all.'

Well,

you can just stop assuming.

I thought we were supposed

to spend the break together.

Remember?

- We will.

- 'Yeah, with your friends.'

That's not my idea

of a romantic week.

What am I supposed to do?

Tell the guys to leave?

[scoffs]

What am I supposed to do?

Come with us.

Forget it, Jack.

You're being selfish, Elizabeth.

And you're being a jerk.

Look, if you don't wanna

spend the week with me alone

then maybe I better

find someone who does.

Goodnight, Jack.

Dad, I heard

you wanted to talk to me?

Oh, uh, Tommy, hi.

Uh, yes, as a matter of fact.

I wanted to ask you, uh..

...how did band practice

go tonight?

Fine.

Tommy, if-if I asked

you a question

uh, would you be

totally honest with me?

Yeah, okay.

Alright, uh, do-do you think

that I'm a good father?

Yeah, I guess so.

Uh, I mean, you know that

you can come to me

any time you have a problem

or any time you need advice?

Well, of course you do know that

because you have

come to me many times.

Whatever it is, dad, forget it,

I don't wanna do it.

But Elliot Randolph

says she's a nice girl.

Who's a nice girl?

Elliot Randolph's niece, Kati.

Now, you remember

who Elliot Randolph is.

He's the man who signs

my paycheck every week.

You know the paycheck

that allows me to afford

the clothes on your back

and the food in your mouth?

- I just lost my appetite.

- 'Oh, come on, Tommy.'

It's just for one night.

One friendly little night.

You don't have to marry the girl

you don't even

have to get engaged.

What does she look like?

Elliot Randolph

says she looks fine.

She's ugly. Forget it. No way!

You're right, Tommy.

I shouldn't interfere.

- Forget I said anything.

- Thanks, dad.

Tommy..

...uh, about that money

that you wanted me

to loan you for your amp..

- What time do I pick her up?

- o'clock.

When you're able

to respect my space

well, then I'm able

to respect your space

which makes our meeting

so much more significant.

And the amazing thing

about it, Joannie

that it is totally

irrespective of their space.

See?

Oh!

I tell you, Joannie,

since I took the program

I've really been able

to let go of my old stuff.

I feel so clear now

on so many things.

Really?

Like what?

Oh, well, like...space.

I'm really clear on-on space.

Oh!

So, after high school,

I went to college in Italy

and then, uh,

did graduate work in Greece

wrote my archaeological

dissertation in France.

So, what brings you

back to the States?

Well, I thought

it might be interesting

to visit a foreign country.

[laughing]

No, actually

I'm just visiting my folks.

I have one whole week

to get back in touch

with good old US of A

before I head back out again.

Where to this time?

Botswana.

It's my first important dig.

- How great.

- 'Yeah, very excited.'

Say, you don't happen

to know where Botswana is

by any chance, do you?

Sorry.

Oh, it's alright.

When I get on a plane,

I'll ask the stewardess.

Good idea, Greg.

Um, would you like a napkin?

Hmm.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

Psychiatrist?

Afraid so.

You don't seem

very thrilled about it.

I'm not.

Fact is I never even

wanted to be a doctor

my family wanted it, but..

...it just doesn't fulfill me.

Wow, that's too bad.

I love medicine.

If I could find the courage,

I'd give it up right now.

You mean, you'd quit?

To do what?

To fulfill my destiny, Mary.

To use the natural talents

I've been suppressing

all these years.

'To be what I'd be

best at being.'

A stand-up comic.

Capitol Building hasn't changed

much since I lived here.

Well, I could take you

to see the Governor's Mansion.

That hasn't changed much either.

No, that's alright.

Still early yet.

How about some tunes?

[instrumental music on stereo]

Mervin Lee.

Boy, you don't hear his kind

of music on the radio much.

Yeah, I know.

This station only plays jazz

for a couple of hours

on Friday nights.

I really like him.

He's great to listen to

when you're studying.

I do the same thing.

'I didn't think anybody

our age except for me'

'listened to this kinda music.'

You really like Mervin Lee?

You guys..

...I've got

something to tell you.

You'd find out sooner or later.

- She made a date.

- You didn't.

- I think she did.

- I couldn't help it.

- I'm glad you did.

- You are?

- So did I. Sorry, Joannie.

- Don't be.

- You didn't.

- You didn't.

You know what? I knew we would.

[all laughing]

Oh, uh, Tommy,

how was your date?

Oh, great!

You liked her?

So much, I asked her to

the valentine's dance next week.

Oh, that's terrific.

- Goodnight, dad.

- Oh, uh..

I can't believe it.

He liked her.

Tommy actually

liked Elliot's niece.

See, Tom, things don't

always have to turn out

the way you assume they will.

Uh, do you think you could stop

worrying about the girls too?

Yeah, maybe you're right.

Maybe this will be

the first February

with no chaos, no craziness,

no problems, and no goofy guys.

(Abby)

'It'll be just another

normal week.'

(Tom)

'Ah, nice and normal.'

'No crazy girls,

No crazy guys.'

Kati Felcher.

It couldn't be

Fang Felcher, could it?

Who?

Oh, she was in

my sixth grade class.

We used to call her Fang

'cause she had these

two huge teeth.

Well, she said

she used to live here.

It has to be the same one.

She's still a four?

She was alright.

She was fun.

I'll bet.

Look, Ernie, drop it okay?

We went out,

and we had a nice time.

Sure, bet you pulled

the tour of capital trick, huh?

[sighs]

Come on, we're gonna be

late for school.

Hey, your secret's safe with me.

- I won't tell anybody.

- Thanks, Ernie.

And don't worry,

Candy will never have to know.

- Candy?

- Yeah, you remember Candy.

The ten you've wanted

to take out all year?

You and every other guy

at school.

Yeah, what about her?

I just found out

she's waiting for you

to ask her

to the valentine's dance.

Me?

Uh, but she's going

with Mark Donohue.

The keyword here is was.

They broke up.

Are you sure she wants me?

She told June Saxon.

Hey, she must've wanted it

to get back to you.

Everyone knows

June can't keep a secret.

Well, I don't know, Ernie.

Bradford, don't be a nerd.

This is too good to pass up.

She's a ten.

Tony? Hi, Elizabeth Bradford.

Yeah, yeah, long time no see.

Sixth grade?

Well, I guess it's been longer

than I thought.

Um, well, so what's new?

No kidding.

Out on probation, huh?

[chuckles]

'Well, that-that's great, Tony.'

Wait till you get to know him.

He's so clear.

Hey, do any of you guys

know where Botswana is?

In Africa, but, Joannie, could

you give me a little space?

I know it's in Africa,

but where in Africa?

Uh, Mary, you know

you're gonna have to learn

to respect my space too.

It's clear to me

that you're hogging it all.

Hello, Botswana.

- Yeah, it's in Africa, Nancy.

- I know.

How come that guy you're with

never smiles, Mare?

Oh, psychiatrist

says that it all

stems from his childhood.

Psychiatrist have psychiatrist?

- Sure.

- Really?

I wonder how

he feels about that.

Hmm.

I saw them in the bathroom,

Abby.

I know they're talking about

those boys that they met.

Tom, you're being paranoid.

I can tell.

I can also tell that those

boys that they met are weird.

They're weird boys.

How do you know they're weird?

I know, I know

because they've been weird

for the last six years.

They've always been weird,

I know.

Tom, you keep forgetting that

your daughters are young adults.

They're not gonna go out

with just anybody

and if they do go out

with somebody new

I'm sure you'll find that

they'll be quite normal.

But you don't really know me,

Mr. Bradford.

What you think you know

is what you see

but what you see

is not really me

but what you

perceive me to be--

All I said is

it was nice to know you.

That's just the point.

Ken! Good, dad. You're getting

to know each other.

- Great.

- Yes.

- Well, you're ready to go?

- Yup.

See you later.

[door closes]

[doorbell rings]

Hello.

It's a surprise for Nancy.

To help her better understand

what I do for a living.

- You scare people.

- No, no, no.

- It's a--

- Greg, hi.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Uh, here, it's for you.

Oh, wow, that's beautiful.

Look, dad, isn't this beautiful?

- Well..

- Thanks.

Here, take care of it

for me, okay?

- We better get going.

- Yeah.

- Bye, dad.

- Goodnight.

[door closes]

Are you okay?

They're weird again.

[knocking on door]

- I'm going to bed.

- Tom, it's the door.

- Goodnight, Abby.

- Goodnight, Tom.

You're not Mary.

No.

Funny, huh?

Huh.

[laughs]

Uh-huh.

A movie?

Yeah, I'd love to, Buck.

What time?

Great.

Jim too?

Well, I was, I was kinda

hoping to see you alone.

I mean, we haven't

talked in ages.

Tell Jim to get his own date.

You are Jim's date?

'Oh, well, we really should

talk more often.'

'Bye, Buck.'

Nicholas, don't you have

anything better to do?

Are you kidding? I must be

watching the world's record.

Fourteen calls.

And you haven't even

got a date yet?

Thanks a lot.

Well, I'll tell you one thing.

I am not sitting home alone

tomorrow no matter what.

I have still got

one more chance.

To feed the mind,

starve the ego.

Ergo ego dep.

Excellent.

Okay, I've got one.

You're at a party

you're sharing a communication

with another human being

and somebody violates

your space.

How do you deal with it?

Well, I got it,

you call him on his stuff

and, uh, ask him to get off it.

Mnm-mnm, wrong.

You share with him,

your annoyance.

You ask him

how he feels about it.

Then, you tell him

to get off of it.

That's right,

otherwise he wouldn't

know where you were coming from.

Of course got it.

See, Joannie?

Well..

Well, you know,

not really, Ken.

Uh, it's, uh..

The logic is sort of

convoluted, don't you think?

Well, that's because you haven't

done the program, Joannie.

You-you really should

take the program.

[instrumental music]

They just don't make shows

like "Green Acres" anymore.

I know.

I have every episode on tape.

Lucky you.

People just didn't

understand that show, Mary.

The timing, the rhythm

the symbolism of the material.

'It was a classic.'

Wayne, I thought that

we came over here

to talk about psychiatry.

We'll get to that later, Mary.

- But--

- Mary..

I'm trying to

give you a lesson in

what good comedy is all about.

Wait till you see this one.

Another "Green Acres?"

Unh-unh.

"Mister Ed."

[instrumental music]

You know, in primitive cultures,

there's no such thing as dating.

Well, then how do people

get together?

Well, their parents arrange 'em.

Don't mention that to my father,

he might get ideas.

Now, wait a minute,

there are some advantages.

- Such as?

- Well..

For one,

it cuts rejection way down.

And you never have to worry

about a date for new year's eve.

Yeah, but chances are we might

never have gotten together.

- Nancy.

- Yeah?

I would have left

the tribe for you.

You know what else?

I sure am glad

you're a lousy roller skater.

Me too.

Tommy, so do you like her

or don't you like her?

Oh, yeah, I do..

...and I don't.

Ah, forget it,

it's too complicated

you wouldn't understand anyway.

That's what Ken means.

I mean, our life

is so complicated

that everybody's afraid

to express themselves

for fear of

not being understood.

[sighs]

He may just have

something after all.

Maybe I will take that program.

What program?

- SAP.

- 'What?'

Self Analysis Program.

[laughing]

What's so funny?

(Mary)

'Oh, I'm-I'm sorry, Joannie.'

It's, uh, it's just that

I have this picture of

Mister Ed taking the program,

and everyone trying to get clear

on wise horse, you know?

[laughing]

I don't get the humor.

Oh, well, I'll have Wayne

explain it to you.

Rather you explain

what you see in Wayne anyway.

Yeah, what's this about him

being a comedian?

Okay, guys, look, I-I know

that he's not Bob Hope

but at least I realized that

I made a mistake.

I think you're jealous,

that's what.

Me? Jealous?

Yeah, I mean, we all met

guys at the same time

and yours is the only one

that didn't turn out

to be a happy experience.

Hi, Nance.

What's the matter with you?

Is it Greg?

He doesn't like you?

He thinks he loves me.

Oh, how wonderful!

You don't like him?

I think I love him.

Oh, Nancy, how wonderful!

Nancy, what's the matter?

He's leaving in five days.

Wonderful.

What have you been doing

in here all day?

Shh, I'm hiding.

- Hiding?

- From them.

[whispering]

Them? I'll join you.

- Oh, Abby.

- What?

I don't think I can take

any of this much longer.

Well, it has been

pretty different

around here

in the past few days.

Different?

That's just the point.

It hasn't been different at all.

It's the same way,

every February.

Just look at

the last three days.

First, Nancy goes out

with her new boyfriend

she comes home, and she cries

eyes out for two hours.

And Joannie's boyfriend

it's bad enough

I can't understand her loony

now I can't understand her.

- Tom.

- And Mary.

Oh, he's the weirdest of all.

I can almost understand

Joannie and Nancy

but what can Mary

possibly see in that guy?

Tom, her friend may not be

all the same around you

as he is around Mary.

When she looks at him,

she might see

a totally different person.

See what I mean

about the humor, Mary?

How obvious

the comedy image is?

Nothing subtle,

nothing sophisticated

but nonetheless...hysterical.

Wayne, I-I have to study now.

I told you that when you phoned.

I know,

but I-I couldn't help myself.

See, I was depressed, and..

...being with you makes me..

...so happy.

Wayne, I think

that it's time that

we had a talk about us.

Say no more, Mary.

You see...I feel the same way.

Could I be serious for a moment?

You're the first person

who's ever accepted me

for what I really am.

The total...Wayne Maglia.

Not just a doctor,

not just an intellect

but as a funny person as well.

Thank you, Mary.

You're welcome, Wayne.

Pick you up at :.

Bradford, you've only got

three more days.

[scoffs]

Ernie, I haven't even

seen her this week.

You ever heard of a thing

called the telephone?

I've been busy.

Besides,

why are you so interested

in my social life?

Because I'm your best friend.

Who wants to take Candy's

best friend to the dance.

Who also doesn't have

his own wheels.

Just think about it, Bradford.

You and me, driving up

with the two best-looking girls

in school.

Well, it does sound pretty nice.

Nice? It's heaven!

'Hey, there she is.'

Come on, Bradford.

This may be your last chance.

[exhales]

[indistinct chatter]

Now, remember it's just

a pre-orientation lecture

but it'll give you an idea

of what it's all about.

Good, I hope so.

Oh, SAP is a great

group of people, Joannie.

They're friendly and, and open,

and they're really sensitive

about each other's feelings.

Hello, I'm Ron Cooper, and I

couldn't care less about you.

And frankly, I don't want

to care about you.

I don't even care

if you care about me.

Because you know what?

I don't care about me.

You see, that's what

SAP is all about.

'Caring.'

'I bet you're pretty confused

about now, aren't you?'

Well, I know how you feel.

'Cause you know what?

That's right.

I don't care.

'Because I don't need to.'

Now funny thing happens

when you no longer need to care.

You do.

[audience applauding]

I don't believe

we're doing this.

Well, you're the one

that wanted to know

where Botswana was, remember?

I was talking continents,

not longitude and latitude.

You know I was kidding.

Well, just think how well

informed you'll be now, Greg.

Are you kidding?

We have taken out every book

that's ever been

published on Botswana.

I could run

the chamber of commerce.

Well, you wait.

Someday when you're digging

those little holes

somebody is gonna

ask you about Botswana

and you're gonna thank me.

My little holes?

Mm-hmm.

And don't forget

the books are due

in five days,

so don't be late.

That, Ms. Bradford,

is a virtual impossibility.

One, I'm a speed reader.

Taught Evelyn Wood

everything she knows.

And two, I'm leaving

in three days, remember?

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

We weren't gonna

bring that up, were we?

That's okay.

I guess I just

lost track of time.

Yeah, I've had to stop

and figure it out myself.

Greg, you haven't even left yet.

[scoffs]

I miss you already.

Nancy.

(Kati)

'How do you like the album?'

(Tommy)

'Oh, it's pretty good.

Who is it?'

...Adelson.

Think they'll play any jazz

at the Valentine's day dance?

No, the kids at school think

jazz is just a four letter word.

Listen, Kati..

...it's about the dance.

Yeah?

Uh..

You see,

something happened, uh..

I forgot that the dance was,

you know

one of those

Sadie Hawkins type things.

You know, if a girl asks you,

you have to go

and I didn't think

anybody would ask me.

But somebody did.

Yeah.

It's a stupid tradition.

I forgot. I'm sorry.

That's okay, really.

Well, listen. Uh, I won't go.

We can do something else

that night.

No, you should go.

I understand. I really do.

It's no big deal.

- Well, i-it's just--

- I said I understand.

So what do you wanna do now?

I don't know.

We could get

some ice cream, maybe.

[scoffs]

Yeah, I could use a double.

[chuckles]

[telephone ringing]

Hello?

Oh, hi, Jack.

No, Elizabeth's not home.

She went to a matinee.

Crest, I think.

A-alone. No, she's, um..

[dial tone]

Hello, Jack?

- Well, I hope he's worth it.

- Jack?

Because you realize this is it.

We're through, Elizabeth,

finished, the end.

Just, just fade out, alright?

- Would you just calm down?

- Yeah.

Is he a, is he a hunk?

Huh, is he?

Yeah, yeah, he's pretty cute.

Well, good

because you know what?

- It doesn't matter to me.

- I can tell.

Yeah, I found out something

about you tonight, Elizabeth.

- Hi, Jack.

- Hi, Nicholas.

And that's all I needed to know!

Here's the popcorn.

I'm making a fool out of myself,

aren't I?

[sighs]

You're kinda quiet.

So are you.

- Well, look, I can still--

- No, it's okay. You remembered.

Okay.

[car horn blaring]

You know,

I think they're honking at you.

No, I don't think so.

[car horn honking]

No, I think they are.

[instrumental music]

Hey, are you deaf?

Hey, Bradford,

I asked her to the dance

Candy's friend. She said yes.

You and I are gonna have the

best-looking girls in school.

I think

I'd like to go home now, Tommy.

Yeah, just a minute.

Tom, it's, it's Elliot.

It's something about that girl

you forced Tommy to go out with.

Forced? Abby, I never.

Believe me.

It was completely his, uh..

Here, let me talk to Elliot.

Yes, Elliot.

He what? She is?

Oh, well, I-I-I'm sure you are.

Well, yes, I will, Elliot,

I-I certainly will.

Dad, Abby,

I'm gonna give it a try.

- Try what?

- The program.

I know it sounds

a little strange at first--

I-I can't talk about it

right now.

Dad, I need $ right away!

I can talk about it right now.

- It's yes.

- It's no.

- Dad?

- It's definitely no.

I will not do it.

Yes, Elliot, of course,

I will do it.

[doorbell ringing]

I'll get it.

Is Mary home?

Tell him to go away.

- Tom.

- Dad.

Yes, Elliot.

Guess what, everybody!

I'm going to Botswana!

Uh, Elliot,

I-I-I can't talk now.

I'll call you back later.

Don't you think that you're

being a little irrational?

Love is irrational, dad.

But you've known him

for less than a week!

It's long enough.

Look, I can't let him go.

I've never met

anyone like Greg before.

They're around.

- Not like him.

- I'll help you look.

We'll hire a service.

Sacramento is a big city.

We're bound to find another one.

[chuckles]

Don't be ridiculous!

Why not? You are. Do you realize

what this could do?

I mean, do you have any idea

of the living conditions

in Botswana?

You could be living

in a thatched hut.

I could?

Never mind, my mind's made up!

Well, mine is not.

I hardly know this Greg guy.

I can't allow you to run off

with somebody I don't even know.

And to Botswana?

You don't have to allow me, dad.

I'm all grown up, remember?

Well, maybe you're right.

You should get to know

Greg better.

He can come over tonight.

Well, Abby did want me

to take her

to a romantic dinner

for valentine's day

but under the circumstances,

I guess we can eat together.

Oh, great! Then it's a date?

Oh, daddy, you won't be

disappointed. I know it.

You'll love him!

Dad, about the program.

- Libya, Liberia.

- Dad.

Tangier, Kenya.

It's got to be here.

You don't even care!

See how easy it is?

And I didn't even

take the program.

Ken said you'd react like that.

Ken is a smart guy.

That's why

he wants to see you, dad

with me, tonight, okay

uh, to explain the philosophy.

Then, then--

- Sorry.

- Oh, dad, please.

The deadline is tomorrow.

Won't you at least

listen to him?

Please?

[sighs]

I guess it'll be dinner for six.

[knock on door]

Hi.

- Boy, you look snazzy.

- Thanks.

So she must be pretty hot.

Yeah.

Your dad told me about Kati.

Yeah, and then, uh,

after Mr. Randolph called

he told me a few things.

Hm.

Abby, can I ask you

kind of a personal question?

Sure.

Do you think dad's good-looking?

Why do you ask that?

[scoffs]

I don't know.

Do you?

I think your father

is a beautiful person.

But is he good-looking?

I don't think I think anymore

about good-looking

or bad-looking.

When I look at your father,

I see a whole person.

And to me, he is beautiful.

I can't go out, Wayne.

Yes, I-I know

that it's valentine's day

but I have to babysit Nicholas.

Well, they're going out.

Yeah, E-Elizabeth too.

Well, Jack told his friends

to leave.

Me too, Wayne,

I hope that Jack did it

with a sense of humor too.

No, Wayne,

you cannot come over tonight.

Wayne, look, I said no,

that you can't, okay?

It's that simp..

Wayne?

He thinks I'm joking. I mean,

he's actually coming over.

Dad, please, help me.

I-I can't spend

another night alone with him.

Well, you've got Nicholas.

But you don't understand.

Nicholas thinks he's funny.

- Dad, let us go with you.

- But, Mary--

Dad, please, you've practically

got the entire family

going already.

What's three more?

Well, I don't know.

Dad, I'm desperate.

Please, don't let me down!

- Alright, on one condition.

- Anything.

He doesn't wear that arrow!

- Nicholas, David.

- David, you're coming with us?

- Where?

- 'To dinner at Alberto's.'

Yeah, the whole family is going,

even the weirdoes.

- 'Who?'

- Well, wait till you see 'em.

They're great!

- Well, I'm sure dad won't mind.

- Y-you're sure?

You're part of the family,

aren't you?

Well, yeah.

It'll be lots of fun.

(Wayne)

'So you see, David'

that's the measure

of good comedy

whether or not

the material can stand up

regardless of the era.

Uh-huh.

I mean, let's be honest.

Gomer Pyle could work today.

May I share a communication

with you, Mr. Bradford?

Oh, sure.

- 'May I call you Tom?'

- Oh, yes.

Thank you.

Y-you see, Tom,

a lot of people go through life

thinking that they know

what it is

'and thinking that SAP isn't.'

Um, what they refuse to accept

is that what is is.

Uh-huh.

If they just accept what is

then they'd block out

all that negative space

that would've been filled up

with thinking about

all that isn't.

Oh.

Well, yes, that, that is

something to consider.

Uh, so, Nancy tells me

that, uh,

you're an archaeologist.

That's right.

Botswana is my first major dig.

(Ken)

'You see, Tom,

what SAP taught me'

is that you can accept people

the way they are

or you can chose to be unhappy

because they aren't the way

you wished they were.

And let's face it, people are

the way they are, aren't they?

Unfortunately, yes.

[chuckles]

Oh, Tommy, you look so nice.

You look terrific. You ready?

Oh, am I ever?

Here, help me out with my coat.

Don't you just love it?

Mike Donny, he used to tell me

it felt like

his father's tiger head rug.

It feels like fur to me.

[laughs]

That's what tiger head is, silly

but it's really not tiger head,

it's really only rabbit

but I bought it

because it looks like mink.

Don't you think so?

Don't you think

it looks like mink?

Yeah, I guess so.

Of course, it does, silly.

They dyed the rabbit,

so it would look that way.

Now, don't you tell me

it doesn't

or you'll spoil

my whole evening.

- It looks like mink.

- Thank you.

I think so too.

Oh, Tommy,

we're gonna have so much fun.

I have so much to tell you.

You've no idea.

[giggles]

And get what you take

because you can't take something

you didn't get.

[Ken laughs]

I have a communication

I'd like to share with you, Ken.

Excellent.

- Cram it.

- What?

Find a big vacant area somewhere

like, between your ears.

Alright!

Nicholas.

You can't talk to me like that.

You're just

a stupid archaeologist.

Ken! You,

you're violating his space.

Yeah, I'd like to bust his head.

This guy's a moron!

Imbecile would've been a funnier

choice of words here, Ken.

Uh, uh, who are you,

one of the three stooges?

I'm afraid not.

Actually, the three stooges

were a unique comedy trio--

Oh, shut up!

- Ken!

- I'm sorry, Joannie.

'I've had it with this group.'

I'm tired of dealing

with closed minds.

- Let's go.

- Uh, no. I don't think so.

You're kidding.

Uh, Ken, what is is,

and this is goodnight.

Idiot.

Idiot would've been

even funnier.

Idiot. Idiot is funnier.

David, I think it's time.

[clears throat]

Yeah, we've gotta leave.

Uh, it's late.

I'm gonna be going too.

Nicholas.

- But, Mary.

- Goodnight, Wayne.

- Let's go.

- But, Mary.

Wait, Mary.

This isn't funny.

- See ya.

- Bye.

So Na-Nancy tells me

that you're an archeologist.

[chuckles]

Yes.

Mr. Bradford, I know how sudden

all this is with Nancy and me..

...but I love your daughter

and she loves me.

Are you sure?

Well, I'm sure about myself,

uh, and Nancy must love me

otherwise why would she be

willing to give up so much?

What am I giving up?

Well, think about it,

Mr. Bradford, um..

...I mean, I'm gonna be working

at the dig site at all hours.

We-we won't have much time

to spend together

and the living conditions

are gonna be very primitive.

Primitive?

I don't know

if we'll even have hot water.

No hot water?

That is primitive.

And who knows when I'm gonna

get the money together

to get us back here.

Now, that's love.

Greg, I think we should talk.

I said those things

to your father for a purpose.

Look, we had a wonderful week.

We both got caught up

in the excitement

but now it's over.

I'd hate to end up in Botswana

and find out we really

didn't know each other.

[chuckles]

You know something?

You're right.

[chuckles]

But I want you

to know something.

What?

At the end of one year, there's

gonna be an archaeologist

knocking in your door.

[laughs]

Well, good

because I'll be there

to answer it.

Happy Valentine's Day, Nancy.

Happy Valentine's Day, Greg.

[instrumental music]

You know, when tonight started

I thought it was gonna be

a real drag

but it turned out to be great.

Are you sure Candy didn't mind

going home so early?

No, no, I think I convinced her

that, uh, she and the rabbit

would be better off

back with Mark Donohue.

[laughs]

Well, you've made this

one of the best

valentine's days I've ever had.

Valentine's day is over.

So is winter break.

Yeah, I know.

I'm gonna miss you, Kati.

Me too.

I'm glad

you didn't disappoint me.

[chuckles]

I think a lot of you, Tommy.

I'm beginning to think

a little more of myself too.

You guys are ready to go?

Yeah, we'll meet you at the van,

Ernie.

Okay.

Well, you ready?

I guess.

You know something?

You really are

a beautiful person.

Hey, thanks.

Don't worry, you'll get

better-looking with age.

[laughs]

That hurt.

[instrumental music]

- It's all over.

- I know.

We made it through

another winter break.

Yay!

There won't be another one

until next February.

Oh.

Well, let's don't talk about it

because I have

something to tell you

that's very,

very, very important.

Oh, no. What?

- Happy Valentine's Day.

- Uh-huh.

[instrumental music]

I thought

you guys were finished

you know, the end, fade out.

- It started again.

- Sure, it did.

Oh, great! What am I gonna tell

those guys who keep calling?

- Guys?

- Uh, we're gonna be late, Jack.

- We better get going.

- What guys?

You know, the guys

she couldn't get a date with.

He's just kidding.

"Nick, Gil, Buck, David,

Jones--"

It doesn't sound like

he's kidding to me.

- Hm.

- "Jim, Norman, Henry, Hank."

- Nicholas!

- "Bernie, Teddy, Derek."

I-I, so I called

a couple of old friends.

- "Walter, Boris, Allen."

- A couple?

- '"Peter, Joey."'

- A few.

"Hymie, Lloyd, Buddy, Sam--"

It's the new census report.

"Greg, Earl, Rusty."

Nicholas, enough!

- Would you care to explain?

- Look, Jack..

We are supposed to spend

the vacation together and then--

Jack, I'm gonna share

a communication with you.

See, you don't have to worry

about those guys.

I don't?

Nah, they were was!

You guys are what is.

- 'Is is is and was was was.'

- Yeah?

And is is now. Isn't it?

Okay, then you're clear on that.

Good, 'cause you know something?

I don't care.

[instrumental music]

[theme music]