04x26 - A Little Triangle

[bunniefuu]

You want my advice?

(Tom)

'Uh, yeah.'

This is great.

Can I sit in your chair?

Hm?

Oh, y-yeah, sure.

Go right ahead.

Now, what seems

to be your problem?

Oh..

Well, you see, I, uh..

I've-I've gotta tell

somebody something.

And I don't know

quite how they're gonna take it.

I-it might be pretty rough.

Well, you always said

to be honest.

Give it to 'em straight

and they won't get upset.

'Oh, yeah. You think so?'

'Okay. Here goes.'

Y-you know the way I've always

told you not to leave

your bicycle out on the driveway

'but sometimes you forget?'

Yeah.

Well...I..

...I..

This morning

I-I ran over the bike.

- You ran it over?

- 'It was an accident.'

Now, you said

that you would understand

if I were honest.

But my bike.

Alright, okay. It was..

Look, I-I-I told you for months

not to leave that bike

in the driveway,

and you keep forgetting.

I mean, that's irresponsible.

Now, it's gone.

You can't expect me

to buy you a new bike.

My only bike.

Look, now, this has

gotta be a lesson to you

and so,

I'll have to be very firm.

Maybe if Christmas.

That was the first two-wheeler

I ever had.

Alright, if you're good...

your birthday.

Tommy sold me that bike, dad.

Look, if there's

some money left over

at the end of the month,

we'll-we'll talk about it.

I loved it. I really loved it.

You know,

i-if we hurry, we m-we might get

to the bike shop

before it closes.

See, dad? I'm not upset at all.

I always told ya,

"Honesty is the best policy."

[theme song]

♪ There's a magic ♪

♪ In the early morning

we found ♪

♪ When the sunrise smiles ♪

♪ On everything around ♪

♪ It's a portrait

of the happiness ♪

♪ That we feel and always will ♪

♪ Oh eight is enough ♪

♪ To fill our lives with love ♪

♪ Though we spend our days ♪

♪ Like bright

and shiny new dimes ♪

♪ If we're ever puzzled ♪

♪ By the changing times ♪

♪ There's a plate

of homemade wishes ♪

♪ On the kitchen window sill ♪

♪ And eight is enough ♪

♪ To fill our lives with love ♪♪

Are there any leftovers, Abby?

Nicholas, with all you ate,

you're still hungry?

It's not for me, dad.

It's for the dogs.

The leftovers' in the fridge.

Dogs? What dogs?

Oh, it's his

latest business venture.

Another one?

We still got a bathroom

half-full of guacadoo.

Well, he and his friend Vincent

have started

a dog-sitting service.

What? Oh, no, no, Nicholas.

You're not gonna turn

this house into a kennel.

I know, that's why

we're keeping the dogs

at Vincent's house.

I'm just in charge

of feeding it.

You don't care, do you?

No, as long as

they stay at Vincent's.

Don't worry, dad.

I've been around you long enough

to know better.

Have you picked out

one corsage yet?

Are you kidding? I haven't

even decided on a tux yet.

Don't wait till the last minute.

And remember, my dress is blue

so don't get anything

that'll clash, okay?

You're really stoked

about this, aren't you?

Of course I am.

This is the senior prom.

It's a big deal.

It's a night we'll remember

all our lives.

Oh, come on.

It's just a stupid dance.

You get conned

into dressing like a doorman

spend a lot of cash,

you wind up bored stiff.

She said no, huh?

'Oh, come on, Ernie'

you're not gonna let

Suse Watson get you down.

I mean, there are

plenty other girls to ask.

I was dumb.

I should've started looking

midway through my junior year.

I think you're letting

the pressure get to you.

W-what about Stefanie Sprow?

Weren't you gonna ask her?

She's going with Curt Jenkins.

(Tommy)

'You know something, Ernie?'

Maybe you should consider

lowering your standards.

I mean, let's face it,

you can't go through

your entire life

looking for a ten.

Bradford,

right now a ten is a four

who'd go to prom with me.

(man on TV)

'And now, here are some scenes'

'from next week's exciting

conclusion of the story..'

Well, that's done.

Oh, come on. It wasn't that bad.

- I laughed.

- Mm-hmm?

In all the wrong places.

[laughs]

Well, so, I have

a weird sense of humor.

Okay, weirdo.

How about if I open

a bottle of wine

listen to a Sinatra record,

and dance the night away?

Hmm.

I'm not sure

I can get into that.

Well, how about Led Zeppelin

in a six-pack?

You're making too much noise.

Wendy?

You woke me up.

Honey, why don't you come over

and join us on the couch

for a while, okay?

No, it's late.

She should be in her own house.

Wendy, go back into your room

I will be there

in a minute, alright?

- I don't think she likes me.

- No. No, no, no.

It's just that

she's been that way

with every girl I've dated

since her mother d*ed.

Oh.

You know, uh...

it is getting kind of late.

Uh, I think I better go.

Nancy, I don't

want you to leave.

Yeah. Well...I think I better.

[sighs]

Call me tomorrow?

Sure. I'm sorry.

Oh, it's okay.

- Goodnight.

- Goodnight.

[exhales]

What about Shelly Connell?

Bradford, she's a foot

taller than me.

Besides, I've quit tryin'

to fool myself.

No girl is gonna go

to the prom with me.

- Ernie.

- But it's okay.

You see, I've accepted reality.

It doesn't bother me. Really.

I've got it all together.

I found my place

in the universe.

I know what I am.

I'm a loser.

Ernie, why don't you

just try on a tux, okay?

Bradford, look at me.

Now, what comes to mind?

That's right.

When they put the word nerd

in the dictionary

there's gonna be

a little picture of me

right next to it.

Ernie, you're not a nerd.

'Now you're not gonna spoil

the prom for us.'

You're gonna get a date

and we're gonna have fun.

I wonder what's gonna be

on TV that night.

Nerds watch a lot of TV,

you know.

Nancy, it sounds like

Wendy's jealous of you.

She probably resents you

coming between her and Gary.

How long has it been

since her mother d*ed?

I think about eight months.

- Oh..

- Well, see that's it.

Since her mother d*ed,

she probably wants

all of her father's attention.

- Are you still gonna see him?

- I'd like to.

Well, don't worry, I mean

Wendy will warm up to you,

give her time.

Joannie, I don't know..

[telephone ringing]

Hello?

Yeah, she is. Just a second.

It's Gary.

Hi, what's up?

Oh, that's okay.

No, I understand, really.

Right now? Nothing.

No, I just got home

from work, why?

[chuckles]

Uh, no, Gary.

I don't think so.

Well, not after the way

she acted last night.

[Nancy sighs]

Are you sure you can't do it?

Yeah, o-okay. Yeah, I realize

it's an emergency.

'Yeah, I know

where the school is.'

Okay.

Well, I'll see you tonight.

Bye.

Well, Wendy's gonna get

her chance to warm up to me.

See ya.

[instrumental music]

Hi, Wendy.

Where's my daddy?

Well, he had to go on business

so he asked me to pick you up.

I'm not going.

Well, I'm the only one

who's come to take you home.

'Course you have a choice.

You can come with me

'or you can stay here

by yourself.'

[music continues]

Come on. Let's go.

(Nicholas)

'No way, Vincent.'

My dad would

ground me for life.

Well, maybe she's got

a cold or something.

I never heard of anybody's

sister being allergic to a dog.

Well, why don't you

put him outside?

It's not that cold.

[doorbell rings]

Oh, listen, I gotta go.

I'll call you back

in a half-hour.

Just don't panic, okay?

Oh, yeah. Bye.

- Hi, Nicholas.

- Hello. Come on in.

Tommy!

Hey.

Nicholas.

You said, I could watch.

I did not. Get outta here.

He's approaching that age.

So, any luck with Ernie?

Nah. You should see him.

The poor guy's

so depressed, it's sad.

Does it really mean a lot to you

that Ernie goes to the prom?

Oh, yeah.

I mean, E-Ernie and

I have been talking

about this all year.

It wouldn't be the same

without Ernie.

Well, if it's that's important

I know this girl.

'She lives next door

to my cousin.'

- She's--

- Perfect.

What do you mean?

You don't even know

if she's Ernie's type.

Well, she's female.

That's Ernie's type.

Anyway, I think

she'll go with him

but I can't guarantee anything.

But there is hope?

And right now, Ernie needs

all the hope he can get.

You sure you don't want one?

No, I wanna go home.

Alright.

It's pretty good though.

You don't like me much, do you?

- No, I don't.

- Why?

- I just don't.

- Hmm.

Well, I don't think

you've given me a chance.

I'm a pretty nice person.

You're not as nice

as my mommy was.

Well, nobody can be

quite like your mother

but, Wendy,

I'm not trying to be.

Then how come you kissed daddy?

'Cause I like him.

You know, your daddy

loves you very much.

It's just that he needs to be

with other grown-ups sometimes.

- He told me that, too.

- He did?

Well, I'll tell you something.

We have a lot in common,

you and I.

- We do?

- Yup.

My mother d*ed, too.

- She did?

- Mm-hm.

Sometimes I miss her

so much, Wendy

I just wanna scream.

- Me too.

- Yeah.

But I never do.

You know

when that feeling happens

what I usually do is,

I talk to somebody instead.

Somebody who understands

how I feel.

Somebody like you.

- Me?

- Yup.

'Cause you know how I feel,

don't you?

- Sad.

- That's right.

And real lonely.

But I'll tell you something.

You won't feel so lonely

if you talk to somebody

who understands.

- Somebody like you?

- Yeah.

Somebody like me.

[chuckles]

Come on,

you want a a lick of this?

It's pretty good.

Oh, Wendy, I'm starvin'.

Let's go see what's in here.

Uh, looks pretty barren.

- We eat out a lot.

- Yeah, I can tell.

I'll tell you what?

Why don't you go

change your clothes

and we'll go shopping

and we'll surprise your dad

with a big meal,

how's that sound?

- Okay, be right back.

- Hurry up.

- Gary!

- 'Hmm.'

- Hi.

- Hmm.

What did I do to deserve that?

You won't believe

what happened?

Well, calm down

and tell me what happened?

It was fantastic,

it was amazing.

- What--

- Which outfit should I wear?

- Oh.

- Hi, daddy.

We're going out shopping.

You wanna come?

Yeah. I'd love to come.

Which outfit

do you like, Nancy?

Well...I like the green one.

Me too. Be right back.

(Nancy)

'Okay.'

[chuckles]

What happened?

She's like a different girl.

Yeah.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

Bradford, this is an exercise

in futility.

Ernie, would you quit

being so negative?

Maybe she'll wanna

go out with you?

I don't need this.

I've got some pride.

I refuse to take a mercy date.

Ernie, Tami's a nice girl.

I've known her for a long time.

Does that mean

you can't lie about me?

I don't have to lie about you.

She'll like you

just the way you are.

Okay.

But at least tell her

I had a date for the prom

but she was k*lled

in a skiing accident.

I'm not gonna tell her that.

She'll think I'm desperate.

- Ernie, you are desperate.

- She doesn't have to know that.

Hi, Tami.

This is Jill Cassidy.

Yeah, it has been a long time.

Um...yeah, me too. Me too.

Listen, Tami,

the reason I called

is that I told a friend,

a guy friend about you.

And he was wondering

if you'd like to go

to the Central High prom

with him.

[scoffs]

Yeah, that is a little unusual.

But he's-he's really a nice guy.

He really is.

What does he look like?

Oh, he's cute.

I think you'll like him,

I think you will.

He's really, he's really

got a great personality.

Great. Now she knows I'm a nerd.

Yeah, sure. Yeah,

I think we can arrange that.

Um, how about tomorrow?

- What tomorrow?

- 'Okay.'

Okay, I'll-s,

I'll see you then. Bye-bye.

Well?

She said she wants

to meet you first.

That's it. I'm finished.

Confidence, Ernie, confidence.

Oh, yeah,

I'm confident, alright.

Confident I'll be

sh*t down again.

[doorbell ringing]

Vincent, you can't

bring them here.

Well, we don't have any choice.

My dad made me bring them over.

My sister couldn't breathe.

Well, we can't keep 'em here.

There's nothing else we can do.

You wanna bet?

Then you think of some way

to get a whole bunch of dogs

back to some people

who aren't even home.

Oh, get upstairs in my room

and shut the door.

[doors slams]

He's the worst.

He dug up my mother's flowers

and he keeps on trippin'

and rollin' down the stairs.

Really?

He's the dumbest dog

I've ever seen.

He doesn't look very dumb to me.

Watch this.

Come on, Rex. Come on, rascal.

Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on.

[dog barking]

Guess I got you.

Oh, boy.

Jeez!

What's the matter with you?

- I got a problem.

- Really?

What is it?

Ernie.

Ernie?

I thought Jill got him a date.

Well, she did, but the girl

wants to meet Ernie first

which should effectively

eliminate any chance

of her going

to the prom with him.

- Why?

- I don't understand it.

Ernie's just been a complete

washout with girls lately.

Well, why don't you help him

for heaven's sake?

Gee, you're his friend.

How? The guy's lost

all confidence.

He's practically

nominated himself

for senior class member

most-likely-to-fail.

Then he needs some

positive reinforcement.

Really, he's not such a bad guy.

I mean, just needs the rough

edges smoothed out a little.

Absolutely.

With the proper coaching,

there is no reason

why he can't make himself

attractive to women.

In hours?

[instrumental music]

They're here.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Hi, Nancy.

- Hi, Wendy.

Come on in.

- Hi.

- Hi, hello.

Gary, Wendy,

I want you to meet my dad

and this is my stepmother,

Abby.

- How are you?

- How you doin'?

- Pleasure, sir.

- Good.

- Hi, there, cutie.

- Nice to meet you.

- Oh, thanks.

- Isn't she cute?

Come on, let's go upstairs

and meet Elizabeth.

- Okay.

- Come on.

Well, Gary, we'll, uh,

show you the house, okay?

- Thanks, I'd like that.

- Good.

[instrumental music]

Hey, handsome. Can we join you?

What are you two doing here?

Tommy said you'd be here.

We wanted to talk to you.

- Yeah.

- What about?

Well, can we sit down?

It's your reputation.

Aw, Ernie.

You know, this trouble

you're having with girls

'it is all in your head.'

Boy, does Tommy has a big mouth?

(Mary)

'He wants to help you.'

(Joannie)

'And so do we.'

I'm unhelpable.

Ernie, do you know what

separates winners from losers?

Self confidence.

Right, now if you project

self confidence

women will be attracted to you.

That's just the point.

I don't have self confidence.

(Joannie)

'But you can get it.'

I mean, you just have

to think positive, Ernie.

You are only a loser

if you think you're a loser.

(Mary)

'Right.'

So, uh, Nancy tells me

you're a photographer.

Yeah...yeah.

Freelance.

That's nice.

- Oh, uh, Nancy?

- Yeah.

Listen, I think it's time

I take Wendy home.

- Oh, just sit there.

- Well, it's just that I--

Well, she wants to see

our old doll collection.

Dad, is that still down

in the basement?

Oh, uh, yes, but, Nancy--

I'll be right back.

[instrumental music]

- Good.

- Alright, just remember.

Be confident. She's lucky

to be going out with you.

It works.

I feel like a new man.

Well, you are.

Well, almost.

Well, you just need a little

work, uh, w-with your outfit.

And-and, you know, Ernie,

do something with your hair.

Oh, yeah, that's good.

That's good.

And a little, uh,

splash of cologne

you'll be irresistible.

Now, just-just remember,

confident.

- You are in total control.

- You are man of action.

Suave, dashing and debonair.

Right!

Well, I'll be

seeing you ladies. Uh..

If you need my number,

uh, it's in the book.

Oh..

Bye.

Bye.

Well, it was really nice

meeting you, Mr. Bradford.

- Right, right.

- Bye-bye, Wendy.

- Bye.

- Yeah, come on, let's go.

- See ya.

- Bye, have a good time.

Yeah, right. Bye-bye.

Boy, that Wendy sure is cute.

Kinda like me,

when I was her age, right, dad?

Sure, exactly.

What did you think?

- I think Nancy's in love.

- I don't know.

Gary didn't really strike me

as her type.

- Maybe, but his daughter is.

- Now, that's for sure.

I've never seen Nancy so

animated around a child before.

[dog whines]

- Did you hear that?

- What?

I'm not sure.

Hm.

Nicholas?

Nicholas?

[Tom screams]

[dog barks]

Nicholas!

Nicholas!

(Nancy)

'Let's get you all comfortable.'

There.

'Before I go to sleep'

I'm gonna make a wish

on a lucky star.

What are you gonna wish, honey?

That you become my new mommy.

Oh, Wendy, that's so sweet.

Goodnight.

Sleep tight and

don't let those bedbugs bite.

I may wish on that same star.

- Wish what?

- That Wendy's wish comes true.

- Oh...Gary, I--

- Ah-ah!

Now don't say anything yet.

Just think about it, okay?

But Wendy wants you..

...and I want you too.

Liz?

Liz? He asked me to marry him.

- More people.

- 'Elizabeth, wake up.'

Well, where are they?

He asked me to marry him.

- Who did?

- Gary.

I don't know what to do.

I mean, I'm so happy

when I'm with Gary and Wendy.

She was so cute.

She asked me to be her mommy.

That's real cute.

You know, I bet I could be

a good mother to Wendy.

And of course, Gary is great.

You saw the way

he is with her.

- He's a good father.

- Hmm, good father.

What do you think?

I think the three of you

will make a very nice couple.

(Tommy)

'Ernie? What are you doing

here so early?'

'We're not supposed to pick

the girls up until .'

Oh, I thought we'd go

and have a big breakfast first.

But we're meeting

the girls for brunch.

I figured it'd be better

if I didn't eat with them.

I don't wanna look hungry.

Would you relax, this is

supposed to be a casual date.

Which brings me

to my next question.

Why are you dressed that way?

It looks like

your mother dressed you.

She did.

Well, she didn't really.

She just sort of supervised.

Anyway, your sisters said that

women like a well dressed man.

But we're going

roller skating afterwards.

So, I'll just try not to fall.

What's this?

It's a gold chain, Bradford.

Everybody in

Hollywood wears them.

Yeah, about years ago.

And isn't that supposed

to be worn

on the inside of the shirt?

Then nobody can see them.

Unbutton the top of your shirt.

And let Tami see I don't have

any hair on my chest?

Ernie, you're going

about this all wrong.

'You are way too uptight.

You gotta relax.'

'Take it easy.'

Right.

Easy.

Gotta be loose.

Very cool.

Gotta take a shower.

A complete master.

Come on, boy, sit.

Sit.

You know, it would

have been a lot easier

if we could do this

in your bathroom.

(Nicholas)

'Are you kidding?'

We're lucky we get

to keep 'em out here.

After you left last night

my dad yelled

for a whole hour, non stop.

And then he mumbled

to himself about

some obedience school

and not for the dogs.

Yeah, he's like my dad,

except my dad

threatens me

with m*llitary school.

No.. Bad dog! Oh..

You know,

sometimes it's hard work

washing a dog that doesn't

wanna be washed.

You know what I like

about all this?

'What?'

The way the dead fleas

float to the top of the water.

'You're weird.'

Eh, you stop it.

[yelling]

(Gary)

'Hi, give me

a big smile, honey.'

- That's it. One more, one more.

- 'She a natural.'

Put a little, uh,

rouge on her face.

- Come on, look at me, Wendy.

- That's it.

- Just a sec.

- Ah...good.

- Pretty.

- One more.

Alright, I'm gonna go

over here for another angle.

So, why do you want a duck?

Because they're

my favorite thing.

Hmm. Really?

Yes, when they eat

out of your hand

it tickles

and I like their feathers.

They're soft

and they're always combed nice.

Okay, now keep combing her hair,

that looks really good.

There, terrific.

But you know what I like

best about ducks?

No, what?

The way they look at airplanes.

- Like this.

- 'Wendy, that's...hold it'.

Hold it,

it's terrific, terrific.

I can't. It hurts my neck.

- Aw..

- 'Oh, okay.'

Uh...that's enough for now.

So why don't you go in

the bathroom and wash-up, okay?

Hey, I'll come help you, okay.

- 'Uh, Nancy?'

- Yeah.

When you're get done with her

can I talk to you

for a minute alone?

Sure, Gary,

I'll be back in a second.

(Gary)

'Alright.'

Hi, everybody, my name's Bobby

and I'll be your waiter

this afternoon.

Uh, today

we have three specials?

How's it going, Bobby?

Uh, fine.

Uh, there's

three different spag--

I think we know,

what we want, Bobby?

Sure, go ahead.

Ernie, I'd kinda like to know

what the specials are?

Chill, sweetheart.

I've been here before.

'Believe me, you're gonna love

what I'm ordering.'

Okay.

I think we're all gonna go

with the fiesta omelet.

That's easy enough. Menus?

He's a good waiter.

I eat here all the time.

I guess you could say,

I'm sort of a regular.

Well, then, Ernie,

why don't you tell us

what's in this fiesta omelet?

Oh, I forgot

to order orange juice.

Oh, don't worry,

you'll have it in a minute.

Oh, Bobby?

Oh, Bobby?

That's okay, Ernie. I..

I think I can wait

till he comes back.

Oh, no problem. Uh, Bobby?

'Hey, Bobby, over here.'

I think, he's ignoring you.

Hey, Bobby!

(Tommy)

'Ernie, would you cool it?'

The entire restaurant's

is lookin' at us.

Hey, Bobby!

So, Wendy's still

in the bathroom?

It is gonna take her forever

to get that junk off her face.

Oh, yeah. Come here.

What?

[moaning]

I have been waiting

all day to do that.

- Yeah?

- Uh-huh.

You're not supposed

to influence your decision.

Gary, I told you.

I haven't made a decision.

Yeah, but you're

leaning toward yes.

- I can tell.

- You can?

Uh-huh. It's a small lean,

but it's a lean.

- Oh, come on, stop.

- Alright, alright.

Uh...maybe I can influence you

by, uh, dinner tonight?

A restaurant of your choice.

Well, I don't know, I mean

I think,

Wendy's a little too tired.

Who is talking about Wendy?

I meant a nice, quite,

romantic dinner

just for the two of us, you know

we haven't been alone that much.

Yeah, but...we spent

the whole day together.

I mean, I...I don't think

we should bring over a sitter.

She has had sitters before.

Believe me,

she will live through it.

Listen. I'm very happy

that you love Wendy this much.

But we have a life

of our own too, you know?

Huh?

- I know.

- Alright, alright.

Then we're gonna have

dinner alone tonight, alright?

Alright! Call a sitter.

Thank you.

[instrumental music]

Um, why don't you guys

skate ahead for a while?

I've got to rest a second.

Yeah, I could use a break, too.

Hey.

We'll, uh,

see you later, ladies.

[chuckles]

I can read women, Bradford.

She's crazy about me.

Oh, you're sure about that, huh?

It's in the bag!

Uh, Ernie, try not to come on

too strong too soon, okay?

- You're scarin' her off.

- Are you kidding?

Didn't you see the way

she grabbed me back there?

She was falling down.

She'd have grabbed anything.

That's what

she wanted you to think.

She planned the whole thing.

You know, I was thinking.

Maybe I should get my own place

right after graduation.

Ernie, let's not hope

for too much too soon, alright?

Bradford, the girl's in love.

[laughs]

This guy's a creep.

Really, Tami, I would not have

set you up with a creep.

Ernie is a warm

and sensitive guy...usually.

[sighs]

Oh, I'm sorry, Jill. I mean..

You know, I really like you

and I like Tommy

but I just

can't go out with him again.

Well, don't jump

to any hasty conclusions.

Think about it.

Every time I think about it,

I get nauseous

and it's not entirely

from that fiesta omelet.

Mm..

[sighs]

How's the hen?

Very good.

Good. Good.

The veal?

It's good, it's good.

Good.

How does the stock market look?

- Due for an upswing?

- Yes.

It's looking very bullish.

Good, good.

You know..

...Wendy said

the funniest thing to me--

Ah, ah, ah. We weren't gonna

talk about Wendy, remember?

Yeah.

- Sorry.

- 'No, it's okay.'

'I mean,

Wendy's a part of our life'

'so, of course,

we wanna talk about her..'

...but it's time

that we talked about ourselves.

'Well, I mean,

there are certain times we have'

'to talk about Wendy

because she's--'

Gary.

You're talking about

talking about Wendy.

Oh, yeah. I'm sorry.

[clears throat]

So, Nancy..

How are your vegetables?

[instrumental music]

[door shuts]

- Hi.

- Hi.

- 'How was your date?'

- Horrible.

- Why? What happened?

- Nothing happened.

That's what was so horrible.

Do you know we spent four hours

sitting across from each other

talking about our food?

[laughs]

Well, every cowboy has

a bad night every now and then.

I thought you really enjoyed

spending time with Gary.

Tsk. Well, that's when

Wendy's with us.

- Oh.

- Yeah.

Tonight it was just

the two of us.

Your know,

our lack of conversation

gave me plenty of time to think.

I think it hit me

right before dessert.

What?

Abby, I was never serious.

I-I mean,

really serious about Gary..

...not until I got

involved with Wendy.

And now..

...we're talkin' about marriage.

Hm.

I think you should stop thinkin'

about you and Wendy

and start thinkin'

about you and Gary.

I can't think about Gary

without thinkin' about Wendy

and I can't think about Gary

without wondering..

...whether I really love him.

- Rex!

- 'Here, boy, here, Rex!'

- Come here, Rex!

- Come on, Rex! Here, boy!

What do we do

if we don't find him?

Oh, we'll find him. Don't worry.

Remember, Merle,

you're not dealing

with your average dog here.

This one has brain damage.

Maybe he got dog-napped.

Are you kidding?

That dog is such a pain.

The nappers would have

let him go a long time ago.

Well, let's see now.

We checked the dog pound

and the park.

What we have to do now is think

where would we go

if we were a dog?

A fire hydrant.

Come on, Vincent, get serious.

Hey, the secret is,

is not think like a dog.

I mean, to think like Rex.

Okay, then. Where would we go

if we were stupid?

Right!

Wait a minute.

I'm glad you're taking me

to school today.

- You are?

- Yeah.

Daddy was kinda cranky

this morning.

Oh.

- Hey, do you have your lunch?

- Yeah, in my bag.

Daddy fixed my favorite,

peanut butter and jelly.

He said

there was a surprise inside

but I can't look

until lunchtime.

[laughs]

You think your daddy's

pretty wonderful, don't you?

Sure, I do. I love you, too.

Well, give me a hug!

[laughs]

Good girl.

Now, you hurry up, I don't

want you to be late. Go on.

- Okay, bye.

- Buh-bye!

- Have fun!

- Okay.

[door opens]

Hi, Ernie.

Hi.

Where's Tommy?

- He's upstairs, changing.

- Oh.

- It's nice to see you again.

- Thanks.

Listen, Ernie, um..

Tommy told me that you're havin'

a little trouble

gettin' a date for the prom.

I told him not to tell you.

It's nothing to be ashamed of.

I just don't understand

why you can't find someone.

Well, let me

spell it out for you.

- I'm a nerd.

- That isn't true.

When we went out,

I had a great time.

And listen, I've been out

with a lot of nerds in my life

and you haven't come close.

Oh, sure, it was easy with you.

You already knew me.

I didn't have to try

and impress you.

Why should you

have to impress anyone?

Just be yourself.

Show 'em the real Ernie Fields,

because you know what?

'He's a pretty terrific guy.'

- You think so?

- Yes, I do.

And apparently, Jack does too

because all I have to do

is mention your name

and he gets real jealous.

Really?

He actually gets jealous?

Yeah.

[chuckles]

I like that.

[laughing]

But I have to get back to work.

Come on, I've already

taken an hour for lunch.

This will only take a minute.

- Are you sure it can't wait?

- No.

Besides, we are already here.

What?

[sighs]

There it is.

Gary.

Of course, I probably

have to mortgage the house

to pay for it, but, uh

I think you're worth it.

Gary, you're pushing me.

Look, I told you. I need

more time to think about this.

I'm not pushing.

I'm just...trying

to motivate you a little.

You're pushing.

Okay, I'm sorry.

It's just that...I wanna get

Wendy's life and my life

back in order..

...make the three of us

a real family.

I know.

Look, I-I've got

to get back to work.

We'll talk about this

tonight, okay?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

Buh-bye.

See, Tami, this is it.

This is the way I really dress.

The sports jacket

was my mother's idea.

- You're kidding.

- And the restaurant..

[scoffs]

I never talk to waiters

like that.

I'm a fry cook

at the Cluck N' Chuck.

The Cluck N' Chuck?

'To sum it all up'

nothing I did or said

the other day was really me.

I was putting on an act.

Why?

[sighs]

Well, I figured you wouldn't

like me the way I really am.

- Which is the way you are now?

- 'Right.'

I just want to make sure.

I mean, it's been months

since I went out with a girl.

I had date fear.

That can be pretty deadly.

Well, I just wanted

to tell you and to say, uh..

I'm sorry you had a rotten time.

It's okay.

Well, I hope I see you around.

- 'Ernie.'

- Yeah?

Um..

If you still

need a date for the prom..

[instrumental music]

[knocking on door]

Yeah.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Can I come in?

- Sure.

- You missed your dinner.

- I'm sorry, dad.

I've just got too much on

my mind to think about eating.

Would you care to talk about it?

You know what it is.

[sighs]

Gary.

Dad, I've tried

and tried to convince myself

I'm in love with him.

I'm just not sure.

If you were in love,

you'd be sure.

Yeah, maybe.

It's just that...since I've been

with Gary and Wendy..

Well, all sorts of new feelings

are coming out in me.

- Like what?

- Well..

Like, maybe I am ready to settle

down and start a family.

Well, that's a nice feeling,

but, I mean

are you sure Gary is the man

you wanna do it with?

I guess not.

You can't consider marryin'

someone that you don't love.

Well, I love Wendy.

I've grown so close

to that little girl..

...that givin' her up would be

like givin' up my own child.

Believe me, I know how strong

the love for a child can be..

...but that's no reason

to get married.

After you mother d*ed..

...I started seeing

different women..

...and I-I was looking

for a woman

that could be

a mother to my children.

I remember, daddy.

You dated quite a few.

'Right.'

That was the wrong approach.

I had to find a woman

that I was in love with

a woman that loved me..

'...and a mother

for the children.'

You see, if a man and woman

don't love each other..

...the children sense it.

And eventually, they get hurt.

I guess that wouldn't really be

the best thing for Wendy

would it?

Or for you and Gary.

Yeah.

Thanks, dad.

I wonder where Ernie is.

He should be here by now.

He's probably being grilled

by Tami's parents.

- They're very protective.

- Oh.

- Hey, Nance!

- Oh, don't you two look great?

Not bad, huh?

It seems like a million years

since my senior prom.

Guess what? It was.

- Enjoy yourselves.

- Goodnight, Nance.

Bye.

[instrumental music]

Oh, hi. You look great.

Of course.

- Have a good time.

- 'Thanks, Nance.'

Bye.

[door shuts]

Good evening, Thomas.

Jill, sweetheart, d-don't you

think you should get ready?

- We have to be off.

- Cut it out.

I'm only kidding.

Hey, guys, I got to get

a sh*t of this, okay?

Elizabeth, can I talk to you

a minute?

- Well, sure.

- Uh, Tommy.

- Take a picture of the girls.

- Okay.

Okay, now get together.

'Okay, let's smile.'

- Here, this is for you.

- Oh, Ernie.

I thought it'd be nice

to wear around the house.

I love it.

Well, I just wanted

to say thanks for..

- Well, you know.

- Hey.

I didn't tell you anything

that you didn't already know.

Well, I just needed to hear it

from somebody I care about.

You know,

you really are a terrific guy.

Yeah, I think Tami's

starting to think so, too.

I better get back there

before she changes her mind.

Listen, will you do me a favor?

- Sure.

- Will you pin this on me?

Oh..

Uh..

[scoffs]

Oh, give me a break, Elizabeth.

I'm nervous enough as it is.

[laughs]

[knocking on door]

[sighs]

- Hi.

- Hi.

Didn't think you were coming.

- I almost didn't.

- Uh-huh. Well, come on in.

Where's Wendy?

Oh, uh, I put her to bed.

Oh, good. Um..

I have something to tell you

and it's better

that we talk alone.

Yeah, sure.

Gary..

...I can't marry you.

Phew.

Well..

...I had feeling

this was coming.

Oh, I like you.

I like you a lot..

...I just don't love you.

But the three of us have had

such a great time together.

The three of us?

The only thing we share

is our love for Wendy.

- It's not enough.

- Nancy, Nancy.

- Now, give it some time.

- No.

Look, the more this thing

drags out

the more attached to Wendy

I'll become

and the more attached

she'll become to me.

[sighs]

Yeah, sure.

Gary, we both painted

a pretty picture for ourselves.

Cozy house, a beautiful child.

But let's face it..

...we don't love each other.

Nancy, you can't say

I don't love you.

'Look, remember at

the jewelry store when you said'

'you were in a hurry

to marry me?'

- I am.

- Right.

Except you didn't say

it was because you love me.

'You said it was because

you wanted to get'

'Wendy's life in order.'

But that's very important.

'Sure it is.'

But that's not

what's most important.

I'm not marrying Wendy.

[instrumental music]

Wendy?

You awake, honey?

Yeah, I was waiting up for you.

I knew you'd come.

Yeah.

I came over tonight..

...but I won't be

coming over anymore.

Why?

Remember when you asked me

to be your mommy?

Yeah.

I'd like that, sweetheart

more than anything in the world.

I really would, but I can't.

Why?

Because being your mommy

means being

your daddy's wife, too.

And I can't be that.

But I want you to be my mommy.

[sobbing]

Don't cry, baby. Don't cry.

[sighs]

Wendy...look at me.

'I can't be your mommy..'

'...but I can be

like a big sister to you.'

We can still go shopping

now and then.

And you can come over

to my house and visit anytime.

- I can?

- Yes, you can.

But I want you

to promise me something.

'What?'

Well, when other women come over

to visit your daddy

you'll be real nice to them.

'You'll be open

like you are with me'

'and you'll show them

what a nice grown-up girl'

'you really are. Okay?'

I'll-I'll try.

I love you, Wendy.

I love you, too.

[instrumental music]

That's Rex's owner.

We gotta think fast.

I don't think we should've tried

washing him in the first place.

Well, it was your idea. I mean,

free wash with every sit.

Okay, okay.

So I made a mistake, alright?

[knocking on door]

Listen, we're just gonna have

to tell him the truth.

Rex is gone and we lost him.

Hey, wait a minute.

How about if we gave him

one of the smaller dogs

and say that he shrunk

when we washed him?

Vincent,

he would never buy that.

- Hi, boys.

- Oh, hi.

Fellows, I came by

to tell you how sorry I am

'about what happened with Rex.

Afraid it was my fault.'

- It is?

- Mm-hmm.

You see, I should have told you

about the problem he has

with running away.

We can't keep

the old rascal anywhere.

'He just keeps

sniffing his way back home.'

- You mean, he isn't lost?

- 'Oh, goodness, no!'

He was sitting on the steps

when we got back.

Smart dog, you know?

'Well, I have to be on my way'

but thank you, boys.

Thanks a lot.

That's a relief.

Yeah, no more Rex

to worry about.

I'm afraid one more dog like Rex

and we're gonna have to quit

the sitting business.

I got news for you, Vincent.

I'm getting out now!

Maybe you're right.

- 'Nicholas!'

- What?

(Tom)

'I think I solved your problem!'

What problem?

'I found him

on somebody's front steps'

'on Elm Street.'

[barking]

Vincent, help!

Ah!

[theme music]

[music continues]