03x10 - Brooke & Cary & Curtis & Lance

[bunniefuu]

I feel so bad stealing
all this from work.

Cary, that's the point
of having a shitty job.

It's the tradeoff.

Wait, is that full
salt and pepper shakers?

- Yes.
- Okay, yas!

I love a park day!

Oh, and there is someone
I want you to meet.

- Yo.
- This is Lance.

- How you doing?
- Hey. Cary. Hey.

- How you doing?
- Hi. Curtis.

Isn't he insane? His body is so hot,

I actually insist on
having sex every minutes.

Otherwise, I stop being
able to concentrate properly.

Yeah. It's dope but exhausting.

Well, sit. Have some wine.

We have plenty of glasses. Almost .

Oh, no, I can't. I got work later.

Wait, I thought Brooke said
you work at Foot Locker.

I feel like you could
show up tipsy for that.

Nah, anything I do, I like to do %.

It wouldn't be fair if I
didn't bring them my A game.

God, how is he not
People's Sexiest Man Alive?

[LAUGHS] Anyway, what I need is coffee.

Oh. Um, I actually have that too.

[GRUNTS]

You took the espresso machine?

- Yeah.
- Oh, hell yeah, Curtis!

- [LAUGHTER]
- Wait, what was that?

What was that that you just did?

What, you guys never dabbed before?

- [YELLS]
- Oh, my God, I love it.

- Like this?
- It's, like, for celebrations.

[YELLS]

You can even double it up sometimes.

- Let's go! Let's go!
- Double dab. Okay.

That looks good. [LAUGHTER]

[SIRENS WAILING]

- [KEYBOARD CLICKING]
- "Hey, girlie.

"Where are you?

Just trying to close that director loop

and get an Academy Award, LOL."

[PHONE CHIMES]

"Just been quite a while, girlie.

Not sure if these are going through."

[PHONE CHIMES]

"At least let me know if
these are going through."

Uh, "At my BF's.

Not sure how good reception is."

[PHONE CHIMES]

[ALARM BLARING]

Oh, sh*t.

What happened there?

♪ I-I-I'm a w... ♪

[THUNDERCLAP]

- [SHUDDERING]
- [SNORING]

- [PHONE LINE BEEPS]
- Hey, Mac.

Sorry, know I'm reaching out a tonsies.

[LAUGHS] Just eager to close
the loop on this director

and get that Oscar before
"WindWeaver" season two.

[CHUCKLES] Yas!

So please, just call me back.

[LINE BEEPS] Hey, Cary again.

Truly sorry to bug you
in the Hampties, my girl,

but it actually has been

such a weird amount of time
since I've heard from you.

Like, so long, I don't
think I'm the crazy one.

[LAUGHS] Anyway, please call me back.

My boyfriend works days, so I'm just

hanging at his house, free whenev...

I mean, this is just outrageous now, no?

Like, please, call me back, Mackenzie.

- [SNORING]
- I've lost all track of time,

and I'm worried
something might be wrong.

But I called every hospital,

and there's no Mackenzie at any,

so at least just let me
know you're still alive.

[WHIMPERING] Please?

Mackenzie!

Mackenzie!

Mackenzie!

- [HUMMING]
- Oh, those are pretty.

Yeah. Should brighten up the place.

Oh, hey, have you talked
to Cary and Brooke yet?

Give them the bad news?

No, I keep putting it off.

But I do think I'll start with Cary.

That's smart. He's way less scary.

I just hope he takes it okay.

I know how important
this movie is to him,

and now I'm pulling the funding?

Patricia, he'll get it.

How much could he care about one movie?

Okay, this is actually
hurtful now, Mackenzie.

Like, I am wasting away over here.

And I don't know if this is
how you treat other clients,

but this is not okay.

I'm sick of beans!

Like, this is not okay.

Ow! Ow! f*ck!

Ahh!

And why isn't Lucas back yet?

Where is Lucas?

Okay, Mac.

If this is how you want to play things,

if this is how you
choose to do business,

you have left me no
choice but to come to you.

[CHUCKLES] That's right.

I googled your last name plus Hamptons,

- found your home address...
- Turn right.

And guess what... I
am now on your street.

I bet you didn't count
on this, did you, Mackie?

But this is who you've made me.

This is who I am now 'cause of you.

- You have arrived.
- So buckle up, girl.

'Cause I'm here for answers.

But more than that, I'm here to hand you

something very
important... your own ass.

[CHUCKLES]

Remember me, Mac?

From billion years ago?

[GRUNTS] Where is she? Come on.

[PHONE RINGING]

Not now, Mom. I'm trying
to get a movie made.

God, she is gonna be so humiliated.

Mac!

Come out, come out, wherever you are!

I can see movement in there.

I know you're in there. Mac!

- Cary?
- I saw you...

What's wrong? What are you doing here?

So you are alive! [LAUGHS]

Do you know how long I've been trying

to get in touch with you?

Jesus f*cking Christ!

- What?
- We need to attach a director

so I can win an Oscar, but you haven't

gotten back to me in, what, years?

Wait. This is about the director?

Yes, dude! Remember?

You said you would hurry to
attach one in that meeting,

and then you fully ghosted me!

I've been calling
hospitals looking for you.

I legit thought you were dead!

That's how long it's been.

Cary...

that meeting was yesterday.

- What?
- Yeah.

It was Friday morning.

It's Saturday night.

It's been hours.

Well, it certainly
felt like a lot longer.

- Did it not snow either?
- Snow? What?

But regardless, you still could have

called me back a lot sooner.

Did you really not see me call at all?

No, I don't always check
my phone on the weekend.

I have a life.

Yeah, that's been made pretty clear.

- Excuse me?
- You are, like,

always in the Hamptons... truly always.

Like, how am I supposed to win an Oscar,

or frankly do anything in this business,

if my agent is always in
the Hamptons, hanging out?

Are you f*cking kidding me?

What?

Are you f*cking kidding me right now?

How f*cking dare you come
here and talk to me like this?

You do not get to
come to my f*cking home

in the middle of the g*dd*mn night

- and yell at me.
- I...

A, I'm a g*dd*mn f*cking grown woman,

and you will not speak to me like this.

- Do you understand?
- I was... I just...

And B, I'm always in the Hamptons?

I mean, are you not always?

Like, factually speaking...
Here's a question.

How do you even know that
I've been in the Hamptons?

Like, how do you know?

- Uh...
- Because I call you

and I email you and
I Zoom you from here,

nonstop, to tell you I got you something

or to give you feedback on something

or to game out how to win
you a f*cking Oscar now.

Like, do you even know the crazy sh*t

that you have asked me
to make happen this year?

And I haven't blinked a f*cking eye!

Look at your career! It's insane!

So no, I have not been
bad or slow at all.

At f*cking all!

Period! End of story!

Hey, is everything
okay? I heard yelling.

Yes. It's just a client. It's fine.

Oh, yeah. The WindWeaver?

Yep. Yep, that's him.
Thank you. It's fine.

This is my brother's house, so...

Oh.

I... I didn't... sorry, I didn't, um...

and I... I... I do know
you've been working.

I just didn't, uh...

I'm sorry I came here.

Uh, I'm... I'm gonna go.

I'll just... I'm gonna
catch the next jitney home.

It's :.

There are no next jitneys.

Right. Uh, that's okay.

- I'm just gonna, uh...
- [CLEARS THROAT]

Give me a second.

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

[CLEARS THROAT] You
can stay here tonight.

No, no. That... I...
that would be insane.

Cary, I'm not gonna not let
you have a place to stay.

I have to drive to the
city in the morning.

I will give you a ride. It's fine.

Cary, it's fine.

- Sorry.
- Yep.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

No, please don't put me on hold.

Yeah, I spoke to somebody earlier,

and they said that
wouldn't be a problem.

This is Cary.

- Cary, my friend Jen.
- Hi.

Yes, I'll hold.

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

Uh, you're gonna be in that bedroom.

The, um, bed's a little
firm, but it's a trundle,

so you just pull out the one below it,

- it's better.
- Oh, firm's fine.

I'm just gonna get you a
sheet and a towel and stuff.

Let's see what we have.

Of course, this isn't gonna match.

God.

All right, no fitted sheet.

Probably no pillowcases.

What...

[CLEARS THROAT] It won't be tonight.

I'm... I really can go. I should...

Also, um, I'm gonna
do a load of laundry,

and your clothes are caked in mud.

So why don't you just
leave them outside,

and I'll put them in too.

Okay. I'm, uh, sorry about your...

Thank you. Thanks.

Yeah. It has not been fun.

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

[SOBBING]

[SEAGULLS CRYING]

[SQUEALS] I'm so excited.

I've never been to the Tonys before.

- It's the Peabodys.
- Right.

[PHONE RINGING]

Shh. It's Cary.

God, I'm so nervous.

Hi, honey. How's it going?

Hey. Sorry I missed you, uh, before.

Um, not sure why you were calling.

But, um, I was, uh...

I was thinking, and I
actually don't need funding

for the, uh, movie anymore.

Wait, really?

Um, yeah. Yeah.

I just had a tough couple
days and a weird night,

and... and I think I...

I think I just need to talk to my agent

and get out of it altogether.

Is everything okay?

Yeah. Yeah,

I just... I'm out in the Hamptons.

I'm actually, uh...

pretty close to where
Curtis does his birthday.

So I think I might just try
to spend the week with him,

if he'll have me, instead of trying

to cram something else in
real quick before "WindWeaver."

Well, we'll always remember
this as your decision.

All right. Love you,
Mom. I'll talk to you later.

- Okay. Bye.
- [LAUGHS]

Gay people think they're so smart,

but he had no idea.

Yay! Now all that's left is Brooke.

- [SIGHS]
- Oh, sh*t.

[DISHES CLATTER]

- Hey.
- Hey.

How'd you sleep?

Good, thanks.

Um, is Mac awake, or...

Uh, yeah. She's in with our mom.

I'm actually gonna drive
you back, if that's okay.

Yeah. Yeah, I'll just, um...

I'll talk to her later,
and I actually, uh...

I just need to go somewhere
a little closer, if that's...

Whoa, whoa. Holy sh*t.

Is that that actor?

Oh, my God.

Now getting word famous method actor

Lucas Lambert Moy
spotted stumbling naked

- along Route this morning.
- What the f*ck?

I'm sorry. Do... do you know him?

[SIGHS] Yeah. He might
be my, uh, boyfriend.

Neighbors say Moy, who wrapped

his most recent film yesterday

and does not yet have
another one lined up,

seemed disoriented and afraid.

We were just driving,
and we saw him like that.

You know who that is? That's, uh...

It seemed like maybe
he had been in character

for so long, he forgot who he was.

- This is pathetic.
- So I called the sheriff

to see if he had some
family in the area.

I mean, he must have come
up here for some reason.

[WITH AUSTRALIAN ACCENT] Thanks, mate.

Wait, why the heck
am I talking so funny?

Whoa, he's been
Australian this whole time?

No wonder he books.

I'm sorry, you didn't know that?

How long have you two been together?

Oh, I don't really want to say.

Um, and I...

I actually think we might break up soon.

[BRAKES SQUEAL]

Lucas, my baby!

It's your mother!

Lucas, my baby! It's your husband!

Yeah, we're done.

Let's go.

It's right here on the left.

Thank you so much for the ride.

You got it.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[SIGHS]

Oh, my God.

- Cary...
- I... I'm not here to be weird, I swear.

I just, uh... could we, uh...

could we talk somewhere in private?

God, this house is so pretty.

I know.

So sad she's a Republican.

Wait, did she charge you again?

Yup, and added, like, a laundry fee

'cause I think she just assumes

we're doing a**l on all of her beds.

- Mm.
- Which...

[LAUGHS]

So, uh, congrats on the Oscar buzz.

When do you sh**t?

Like, now?

Well, that was the plan, yes.

But I'm... I'm not
gonna do that anymore.

Which is why I'm here.

I... I don't...

I don't care about work.

I... I'm trying not to care about work

as much, starting now,

'cause I think it's... fully k*lling me.

It's just... it's everything
I wanted for so long,

or I thought I wanted.

I don't even know what
all I wanted, I just...

You wanted to be the most
famous actor in the world

so everyone would love
you and be impressed by you

but also scared of you,

and they'd never judge you in any way

'cause they were too
constantly in awe of you.

It's what we all wanted.

But then I... I don't know, I just...

now I just don't have anything else,

any friends, or I... [SIGHS]

I never had any friends,
actually, except for you.

So I'm not doing the movie this week.

I just want to be here with you

in this h*m*
woman's beautiful house,

like I have been for the past ten years,

and just fix things.

Like, I want to know
what you're up to again.

Like, you have a boyfriend now?

Yes, the rumors are true.

[CHUCKLES]

I really appreciate this.

And was, like, hoping for it.

'Cause I was starting to
worry that you were gonna be

one of those friends that
I just had for a time.

And I... I didn't want you
to be a friend for a time.

So thank you.

But I just, um...

I don't think I can
have you stay, though.

Oh, I...

I won't be shitty, I promise.

I won't talk about me.
I won't talk about work.

- I just...
- No, I know.

It's just, you were kind
of shitty to my friends too.

And I feel like you owe
not just me an apology.

And it's really my
boyfriend's birthday too,

and so it's like a
co-thing, and I'm just...

nervous to change the vibes.

Oof. Yeah.

Tough hearing you being somewhere

will change the vibes.

I'm sorry. Was that too rude?

I'm truly not trying
to kick a friend out.

- No, it's fine. I...
I would change the vibes.

So we'll just

pick this up later?

Yeah.

I mean, I feel like I should just

kiss you passionately in the rain

and take you right back, but...

[LAUGHS]

It's just not % the
move for me right now.

Yeah, no. It's your call.

I mean, I'm here in a month
or in a year or what...

Thanks.

It won't be a year.

And since you came all
this way, I can, um...

I can at least show you a picture

of my boyfriend's d*ck before you go.

Okay. Good. Yes. I would take that.

Here.

- [LAUGHS]
- I know.

- It's so thick.
- [LAUGHS]

Is it on sideways?

Yes, basically.

- Wow.
- [LAUGHS]

- I like the pose too.
- Thank you.

- Nice pose.
- I know. It was...

- He's showing it off.
- Yes, exactly.

- We took, like, of them.
- [BOTH LAUGH]

[SIGHS]

[SEAGULLS CRYING]

[PHONE BUZZING]

- Oh. Hey, Mac.
- Cary.

- Uh, hey. So I, um...
- Hey.

I have some insane news about the movie.

Uh, Kelly Reichardt wants to direct.

Also, Harry Styles is
in as the love interest.

Wait, what?

- So... sorry, is this real?
- Yeah.

He says he wants another
s*ab at playing gay.

He really thinks he can
get it right this time.

Anyway, they all want
to get drinks tonight.

Oh, and you can let your
mom off the financing hook.

I mean, with you three,
the money's rolling in.

Whoa. Uh, this is insane. Um...

And it's tight, but we can

fit this in before "WindWeaver."

So yeah. It's all happening, Cary.

This could be your Academy Award.

[APPLAUSE]

And I want to say thank
you to our entire crew.

You know who you are,
which is the only reason

I'm not saying your names,
because I do know them.

God, this is so insane.

Am I really not imagining this?

Like, how is no one stopping this?

[LAUGHTER] Okay.

I also want to say,

to every young girl watching this,

that this award is
proof, once and for all,

that I am good!

- [APPLAUSE]
- Whoo, Brookie!

Is everyone really seeing this?

Like, I cannot believe no one's stop...

Okay, I'm gonna stop you.

Um, first off, your speech
can only be seconds.

And how long was it
so far? Like, , ?

- It's been / minutes.
- Oh.

Second, I wouldn't pepper
the whole thing with,

"Why is no one stopping this?"

- Feels odd to the listener.
- I know. I'm just nervous.

Because once you start getting
attention for being good,

that's when people come for you.

- When people come for you?
- Yes.

Don't you remember when
Jameela Jamil launched

that body positivity app,
and then everyone accused her

of lying about being att*cked by bees?

I do not remember one part of that.

I just...

I really don't want this
award taken away from me.

Brooke, no one is coming for you

in the next minutes, okay?

I promise.

minutes till deadline. [SCOFFS]

This article's gonna take you down.

Yep. I am coming for you, girl.

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

Reminder to all guests,
our ceremony will begin

in minutes... God, this is so legit.

I mean, yeah. It's the Emmys.

No, it's not.

- Okay, Pat.
- Yeah.

You're gonna head to
that first camera with AP.

Okay.

Chase, you're at the
second one with Reuters.

- All right.
- And, Brooke, we have you

at the third cam with
Judy from peabodys.com.

Sorry, what exactly
is Judy gonna ask me?

'Cause I'd sort of rather go
straight to getting my award.

You know, have it in my hands.

No! It's your night.

You gotta do the carpet first.

f*ck. This is where it ends for me.

I mean, look at this Judy woman.

She is just waiting to
nail me to the cross.

But what cross? And for what sin?

Like, I know I'm bad, but how?

And who told her? Was it you?

Oh, my God, Brooke. Get a grip.

This is all based on literally nothing.

You're good, you made something good,

and you deserve this.

- Now go.
- [BREATHES DEEPLY]

God, you are so not good.

And now everyone will know.

You do not deserve a Peabody.

That's for sure.

BOTH: And posted.

[BOTH CACKLE]

- Brooke!
- Mm-hmm.

Thanks for chatting.
I'll make this quick.

I only have one question.

And it's about something
I just read online,

actually, moments ago.

- [HEART b*ating]
- Online?

About me?

Moments ago?

Uh-huh.

I read...

- [GASPS]
- That you...

- [ECHOING] You, you, you, you.
- [WHIMPERING]

Used to date People's Sexiest Man Alive?

Is that true?

Oh.

Oh, my God.

[LAUGHS] Yes!

Which makes sense, 'cause we are both

unimpeachable sweeties.

Perfect in every way.

So true.

Anyway, enjoy your night.

Really? That's it?

Like, next stop, I go win
a "Peadbody" on national TV?

Well, peabodys.com.

But yes.

Okay. Well, hell yeah, Judy!

[LAUGHS] Whew. Guess everything's fine.

And now I finally get to accept an award

that proves that I am good.

Now, Chase, I do have to ask you

about a pretty scathing article

that actually just came out about you...

What?

BOTH: And posted.

[BOTH CACKLE]

God, you are so not good.

That accuses you of winning a Peabody

for a mental health special
while exploiting people

struggling with mental
health to sell albums.

And, Pat, I also have
to ask about an article

just posted about you...

- Huh?
- both: And posted.

[BOTH CACKLE]

You do not deserve a
Peabody. That's for sure.

Regarding since-deleted tweets

which were screenshotted and paint you

as a classist elitist with a
disdain for small-town America.

Oh, f*ck.

BOTH: So what do you say to all this?

- Uh...
- Oh, well...

No. Okay. No, sorry. We have to go.

Thank you. We're done here. Let's go.

- But I... excuse me...
- Walk.

- Sorry.
- Walk. Walk.

Here we go. Here we go.

Don't say anything to any-f*cking-one.

Ladies and gentlemen,
the moment you've been

waiting for is almost here.

Our ceremony will begin...

sh*t! sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t.

What now? What happens now?

Hey, can you guys clear? Thank you.

Jesus, Pat.

You tweeted all this about Ohio?

"These people should be in jail

for what their houses look like.

Thank God I don't think
this sh*t looks good still."

"Everything we ate was awful."

Mom, you can't say this
sh*t about your base.

God, you're worse on
social media than Cary.

- What?
- Whoa.

- Take that back.
- Hey, now.

We're all on the same team here.

Okay. You're right. I'm
sorry. That was too far.

Just tell me, what the f*ck
do Chase and I do, Brooke?

Maybe we could each
do a Notes app apology.

Like, I could write,
uh, "Sorry for using

mental health to sell
albums," and then, you know...

Chase, have you ever seen
a Notes app apology work?

I swear to God, if I see you
so much as open Notes app,

- I will break your fingers.
- Jeez. Okay.

Well, I just got a text from marketing.

Some advertisers want
to pull their commercials

'cause Pat's no longer
in line with their brand.

Oh, no. The ship's going down.

The ship is going down.

So far, she's gotten
emails from Kohl's, Target,

and the people at Princess
Diana Commemorative Coins.

sh*t, if Commemorative Coins pulls out,

we just, what, won't have commercials?

And great,

now Lawrence O'Donnell has the story.

Why does the full news care about this?

And they sent a news van here.

They're asking if I want to go on

and give a statement for Chase.

Pat, I can talk for
you too, if you want.

f*ck, all my fans are now posting

angry videos about me on Instagram.

And all my fans are trying
to but don't know how.

Oh, wait. Here's one.

I just wanted to say,

I have always been

a huge fan of Pat's, so...

I even met her once in New York.

So reading those tweets was...

- very hurtful.
- [SIGHS]

I just... I always thought
that she was just like me.

- And now... I don't.
- [WHIMPERS]

- [CHAINSAW REVVING]
- Oh. Uh, sorry.

The tree people are here.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

Brookie, I feel like I can't breathe.

I never meant to...

and Lisa was so nice.

Oh, Mom. I'm so f*cking sorry. I...

God, now everyone hates me again?

Like, everyone in the world
is just gonna think I'm bad

- and hate me again?
- Okay...

- Like, I can't do this.
- Okay, no.

It's not healthy to look at this.

Gimme. Give me your phones.

sh*t. We lost another one.

"We at Big Lots were
sickened to learn"...

Oh, shut up, Big Lots.
You sell piss and sh*t.

Also, this is a family crisis, Melanie.

Can you go wait outside? And
make sure no one comes in.

f*ck!

I also just got an email from iTunes.

- What?
- What?

"A new episode of 'Potomac'
is ready for download."

Oh. Okay. So that'll
be nice after all this.

Focus, people! This is a disaster.

Your whole personas are
being good little sweeties,

and you f*cked it up.

I mean, this could end your careers.

Sorry, this is rude timing,
and I obviously stand with you.

I'm just gonna go check you
can still win a "Peadbody"

for being good if your
other EPs have been

publicly disgraced.

Oh, God.

There must be something we can do.

Honestly, in a situation like this,

there's only ever one
way to get through it.

You need a fall guy.

- Oh, Streetie.
- No, Streeter. That'd be sad.

Hey, what? No, hey. What?

She didn't say it needed to be me.

It could just as easily be Brooke.

Wait, I think Brooke is doing it.

- What?
- Oh.

- Oh, my God.
- What?

Unmute it. Unmute it.

So what you're saying is,

your clients did not write these tweets?

Of course not.

They didn't even know
about them until tonight.

I'm their manager. I run their Twitter.

So it was your idea
to offer free therapy

to sell ChaseDreams albums,

a move the Mental Health
Institute has called

grossly self-serving?

Yes.

Chase actually told me not to.

He's a good kid.

He would never do something like this.

Same with my mom. I
mean, people really think

Pat Dubek talks like that?

"I'm so effing bored.
How much longer"...

- Oh, my God, Brookie.
- "Do I have to do this for?"

Damn, she didn't even flinch.

Like, that is my voice.

I'm a full bitch, /.

Ask anyone.

Or, uh, please don't.

- But you get the point.
- Wow.

This is so... so nice of her.

Well, you know, for the record,

I would have done this too.

- Eventually.
- No!

No, this isn't fair that Brookie
is taking credit for all of this.

So to reiterate, every
screenshotted tweet was you?

So you were the one who tweeted,

"I know we're not together anymore,

but I wanted to say, I
miss you and your bleep.

God, I miss your big, fat bleep"?

Oh. Uh... [LAUGHS]

That's... hadn't seen those.

So new screenshots
just keep on rolling in.

But yes, sure. Yes.

Because a lot of people
say they time up perfectly

with Pat's very public
breakup from Streeter Peters.

No, I was...

Also going through a
breakup at that time.

So those were to my ex, Lance Arroyo.

And he does have a big, fat... bleep.

Okay. You know, Pat's right.

It's not fair for Lance
to take credit for this.

Well, we reached out to
Mr. Arroyo for comment.

- Oh.
- And he did fully corroborate

receiving all those texts from you.

Oh.

Well... see?

So bottom line, this
is my mom and brother,

and I cannot let this ruin their lives,

especially when I'm to blame.

I'm an embarrassment to my family

and in no way represent them.

And you won't have to.

Because I'm seeing now,
your mother and brother

- have both tweeted a statement.
- What?

How do they have a statement from me?

I didn't give them a statement.

Yeah, yeah. Brooke has our phones.

Like, everyone in the world
is just gonna think I'm bad

and hate me again?

- Like, I can't do this.
- Okay, no.

It's not healthy to look at this.

- Give me your phones.
- sh*t.

We lost another one.

"We at Big Lots were sickened"...

- [GASPS]
- Wow. Smart girl.

No, wait. It's, um, "Clever woman."

- Streeter.
- No.

"That someone with
such a snatched-ass bod

"could do something like this.

And we have decided to
officially fire Brooke"...

- What?
- "As our manager."

No! We can't let her do this.

We have to stop her!

- What the f...
- Sorry, ma'am.

Melanie, what are you doing?

Just following orders, Mrs. Dubek.

Okay, your real job,
for old time's sake,

is actually to make sure
that no one comes out.

Got it.

And, Brooke,

it's been a privilege.

[SIGHS]

Wait, so this means
Brooke was never leaving

to see if she could still win a Peabody?

Nope, she was just using the fact

that she's famously
selfish to trick you all.

I mean, it's brilliant.

And, Pat, Pat, there
is a silver lining here.

Both your kids did your dirty work.

You wanted to pull out of Cary's movie.

He did it for you. You
wanted to fire Brooke.

She did it for you too.

I mean, it's actually a
pretty fun day for you today,

if you think about it.

No! It can't happen like this.

Shuli, give me your phone.

"But in conclusion,
there's Ukraine and stuff.

So let's not just make
the headline tonight,

'Brooke Dubek is bad.'"

Okay. You heard it here.

Pat and Chase Dubek effectively saying,

"Brooke Dubek is bad."

No, that's literally the opposite of...

[PHONE RINGING] Oh. Uh...

sorry, Lawrence, I have to take this.

- Hello?
- Insane energy to answer a call on the news,

but we'll just cut away
and keep talking about you.

Brookie!

Listen, I really don't
want you to do this.

I mean, what about your job?

And now the literal
chyron on the news says,

"Brooke Dubek is bad," when it was me.

I was bad.

It's fine. No big.

I do not care what people
think about me, so...

But, honey, they're even taking

- the Peabody away from you now.
- What?

"Her conduct simply
unbefitting the Peabody Awards.

"Also, if you listen closely,

we think she's been saying
'Peadbodys' this whole time?"

Is it not?

Well, I don't give a f*ck
about a friggin' Peabody.

- Whatevs.
- And don't worry, Pat.

Brooke is gonna be fine, job-wise.

I mean, I've already
gotten tons of emails

from people who want
Brooke to represent them.

- Oh, really? You have?
- Yes.

And remember, this is what you wanted...

to have your kids back.

"We are disappointed in Brooke.

- We think"...
- Brooke. Brooke.

Brookie, I just... well, I
just want to say, like, we...

we really appreciate this.

It just means the absolute world.

Yeah, thank... thank
you so much, Brooke.

Yeah, thank you, Brooke.

And, you know, maybe we can all go get

dinner next week or something.

Cary too.

Sure.

I'm... totally free.

- Ladies and gentlemen...
- Oh. Okay, we gotta go.

Ceremony's starting. Let's go. Let's go.

- Uh, wait, Streeter.
- Yep.

Have you really been
getting emails about me?

Oh. Uh, no. Of course not.

- Oh.
- But I will. Soon.

[SIGHS]

[RAIN PATTERING]

[SIGHS]

Ugh.

Thanks for helping me look like
full dogshit to the world tonight.

You got it, dude.

[SIGHS]

I've just been trying so hard to...

look at this sh*t.

Meanwhile, congrats
on being famously good.

I cannot believe that "People" just came

to your hospital and asked
you to be on the cover.

But congrats. I'm...

you deserve it.

Are you joking?

I hired a publicist for that.

- Wait, what?
- No, I'm a nurse in the Bronx.

You think I just got
the cover of "People"?

Come on, B. You know how sh*t works.

Okay. Wait.

I did think that you hired someone,

but then Natalie and Victor said that...

I sort of lied to Natalie and Victor

'cause I was embarrassed.

Okay.

Don't be mad, but I
really did feel crazy,

so I kind of... broke into your email.

I'm still signed in on your laptop?

- Yes.
- Huh.

But I didn't find anything.

And I searched everything
I would type into an email

to a publicist... "Sorry to bug, girl."

"Not to be annoying, but"...

I don't email like that, B.

I just write, "Hi, Sharon,"

then succinctly ask for what I want.

Oh, to be a straight man.

You should look her up, though.

She's dope. Sharon Haircut.

Sorry. Um, her name is Sharon Haircut?

Funny, huh? She should cut hair.

Anyway, being a nurse is great, but...

it's also f*cking hard and dark

and sometimes hella boring.

Like, I watch somebody die every day

and have so much paperwork.

So I just wanted something for myself.

I wanted to feel cool or hot,

put on something other than scrubs.

Lance, I...

I'm so sorry.

I mean, don't get me wrong.

I rock scrubs.

No, I...

I'm sorry I didn't ask
you about that stuff

when we were together. I...

[CRYING] God, I really
f*cked everything up.

Yeah, you did, yo.

[BOTH LAUGH]

You were just so in your head.

And who cares if your job is
dumb sometimes if you love it?

And you're not saving lives,

but I bet your mom was scared tonight.

And Chase.

And you were there.

I was there.

So what you're saying
is, being a manager

is as good as being a nurse.

Hell yeah.

That's how to look at it.

Even though I'm not
technically a manager anymore.

Which is maybe a sign
I'm not supposed to be?

Hmm.

I really do miss you, you know.

And my big d*ck?

Actually, I think it's smaller than Cary

and Streeter's now.

I miss you too, B.

Every day.

And I hate to cut this short,

but I do have an overnight right now.

Oh, yeah, no, that's...
that's... uh, that's okay.

I... but, um, if I...

if I haven't f*cked things up too much,

do you think that we could
maybe talk again, or...

Yeah. Yeah, okay. Yeah.

But maybe we take things slow, okay?

- Not rush into anything.
- No... yeah, no.

Um, whatever you need.

Okay.

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

Okay, well, bye, B.

- We'll talk soon.
- Okay.

[SIGHS]

Ah, f*ck it. Let's just go fast.

What?

[NAYAD'S "RED CARPET SAND"]

♪ ♪

God, I love that it's raining.

Could you maybe pick me up?

Hell yeah, I'm picking you up, girl.

[BOTH LAUGH]

♪ It's not really that bad ♪

[HORNS HONKING]

_

- [BELL RINGS]
- All right, everyone.

They're walking in right
now. You know the drill.

This is just a normal family dinner.

Oh, and Pat wanted me to thank
you all for doing this again.

Okay. Action, everyone.

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

Thank you, Lance. Hello.

Can't believe you
wanted to come back here.

Well, I was gonna take us to the Smith

and wear my prosthetics,
but I couldn't find my nose.

- Whoops.
- So this was

my only other option if I wanted us all

to go eat together but
still be left alone.

But I thought you hated having to do

prosthetics and this stuff.

Well, I am one of the
most famous women alive,

so what the f*ck else am I gonna do?

It is what it is.

And I do think this will be

a little more normal than last time.

How? This seems just as not normal.

- BOTH: Peas and carrots.
- Oh. Hey, wait.

- What?
- I almost forgot.

I did have these. Sorry.

I found them while we were
unpacking Lance's stuff.

See? I told you.

- Hey. Sorry I'm late.
- [GASPS] Cary!

- Lance?
- Hell yeah. What up, Car?

Wait, are you two back together?

Hooray! Okay. How's it going?

Mostly good, but it is early days again,

so your sister has been a
little relentless physically.

- Ah.
- Anyway, Cary, so how was it?

Are you just getting back
from Curtis's birthday week?

Oh. Um, weirdly, no. I am not.

Curtis, uh, said he wasn't
quite ready to have me stay yet.

- Oh, Car.
- Oh, no. It's okay.

Um, so I kind of wandered the beach

and was like, "Now what?"

And then my agent
called me back and said

that Harry Styles
wanted to join the movie.

- What?
- Yo!

- Oh.
- Yeah, and they found

financing another way too.

Oh.

But I just...

I felt like it wasn't the
right move for me still.

Like, I still just
needed to stop and not

do another thing right away.

So I weirdly just stayed
at the beach, alone.

What... what do you mean?

Like, I just weirdly hung up

and stayed by myself

and kept walking

until it was so late, I was like,

"What am I even doing?"

- Hey, how's it going?
- Hi.

But then I saw one of those
little cute beach houses

with a Vrbo sign, so I
randomly called the lady.

- [TABLE CLATTERS]
- Oop, sorry, Car. Continue.

Just gotta use the restroom.

Lance, wanna join?

- Oh, again?
- [CHUCKLES]

Uh, and yeah, I rented it for the week.

Is that so weird?

No, honey. It's nice.

Yeah, and I literally just read...

or pretended to read, at first.

But then I did. I
actually read a whole book.

And I swam

in the ocean.

Or stood in the ocean.

And I went to the store...

[WAVES CRASHING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Hey.

I know you.

Oh, hey. Um...

Uh, Terrence.

Yeah.

- Hey, how are you?
- Oh, I'm great.

Oh, this is my partner, Ted.

Ted, this is Cary Dubek, the guest actor

from "Emily Overruled"
I was telling you about.

Oh, you're the reason why we
missed our reservation at Lilia.

- [LAUGHS]
- Sorry. Yeah.

I, uh... sorry. That...

- I'm just teasing.
- Are you by yourself?

- Yeah.
- Hey, you want to join?

We're putting salmon on.

Oh, you sure? I don't want to intrude.

Oh, please. We've
been here a week already.

We're sick of each other. Come on.

I'll introduce you.

Hey, everybody. This is Cary Dubek.

- Hi, Cary.
- Hi.

We worked together on "Emily."

- Oh, nice.
- Yeah, hey.

- Uh, this is Bob.
- Hey, Bob. Hey.

♪ Feel like I'm at this age ♪

♪ Where I've lived
long enough to stress ♪

♪ Making the most of what's left ♪

♪ Yeah, I can feel a little lost ♪

- [CHAIR SCRAPES]
- Whew.

Forgot those bathrooms aren't finished.

A PA just saw a lot.

Anyway, what did we miss?

Something sweet about the beach?

Yes, Brooke.

Something sweet about the beach.

♪ What makes a life good? ♪

♪ If you know, can you tell me? ♪

♪ Loving somebody, making lots of ♪

[HORNS HONKING]

[PHONE BUZZING]

- Hey.
- Hey!

I started getting emails.

What? What emails?

From people who want
you to represent them.

- Like I said I would!
- That was real?

I thought you were just Streetering.

[LAUGHS] Nope. I'm forwarding them now.

[PHONE BEEPING]

Wait. Holy sh*t.

These are the biggest
names in literal Hollywood.

- Why would they want me?
- Are you kidding?

You took the fall for your clients.

And everyone knows a
good manager is someone

willing to be the bad guy.

Oh, my God.

So it's good...

to be bad?

[EVERYBODY LOVES AN OUTLAW'S
"SO GOOD WHEN YOU'RE BAD"]

♪ ♪

Okay. So I am now your solo manager.

I just... I still feel
so bad about Brooke.

Oh, I know, buddy.

But she knows that you're
still just a good kid,

and that you hated
pretending to be bad before,

with all those disgusting tattoos.

Absolutely. Look, so you made

a one-time mistake with that tweet.

It shouldn't ruin your life.

Yeah. Yeah, okay.

Oh. But I actually did get
one of those tattoos, though.

- You did what, now?
- Come again?

Yeah, I got the Piglet, but with boobs.

Thought it was funny. And cool.

BOTH: Uh-oh.

♪ You're so good when you're bad ♪

♪ You're so cruel ♪

♪ You're the best that's ever been ♪